Kurasu no Daikirai na Joshi to Kekkon Suru Koto ni Natta Volume 6 Epilogue

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Epilogue

Saito and Himari were rocking side to side on the train as they gazed at the darkness outside the window. They were the only passengers, illuminated by the fluorescent train lights. Posters hanging on the walls, paired with the scent of the walls having been painted recently. Saito gently touched Himari’s shoulder.

“You could’ve gone home in your parents’ car. It would have been a lot more pleasant than a train ride like this.”

“It’d be a bit too stuffy inside a small car with them. And it’d be too sudden, too.”

It may have sounded sharp, but there was no shadow in Himari’s expression. The light had returned to her eyes, as they observed the world around her. She now existed back in the world of the living.

“We talked a lot. And I got to say what I wanted, so I’m feeling a lot more refreshed now.”

“That’s good.”

Himari put the fingertips of her hands together.

“They both said they wanted to know more about me. They reflected on their actions after getting lectured by you. You’re as amazing as always.”

“Sorry, but I couldn’t control my anger back then.”

The Saito from the past would have just washed away any of this like it was nothing. He was probably poisoned by Akane, who was always ready to fight no matter who her opponent was.

“I…still really like you, Saito-kun.” Himari leaned against him.

Her skin shone even amidst the faint light, this time in a bright red. She tried to reach for Saito’s hand but ultimately pulled away again.

“Did Akane not get angry at you for coming to see me?”

Saito tilted his head.

“Why would Akane be angry?”

“I wonder, I wonder.” Himari showed a mysterious smile, but didn’t answer.

She possessed a personality too kind for her own good, and yet there was no moving her once she’d decided. Saito sighed.

“She told me to come see you alone.”

“I see…She really is strong, unlike me,” Himari spoke with a tone of admiration.

When they came home, darkness had already befallen the world of the living. Saito took the key to the front door out of this pocket, and put it into the keyhole, only for the door to open from the inside. Jumping out was, naturally, Akane.

“What kind of trap is this…?! Am I being punished now?!” Saito rubbed his nose that was hit by the door and staggered backward.

“N-No! I just thought you’d be back, so…”

“So you planned on crushing my nose?! You villain!”

“It was an accident, okay!” Akane stomped on the ground.

Himari stepped forth from behind Saito, lowering her head.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through all that loneliness because of me, Akane.”

“I-I wasn’t lonely! I actually got to focus on my studies because this noisy idiot wasn’t home, so thanks a lot!”

“Right. Okay. I’ll just leave for another week then, no problem.”

“No way you can do that! You’ll run out of pet food and die at the side of the road!”

“Am I a dog?!”

“You are a dog!”

Akane glared at Saito. He couldn’t believe that she had the audacity to call him noisy despite causing all this ruckus. However, he didn’t hate it, either. Throwing their feelings at each other made it feel like he had truly come home, and it gave him relief. At the same time, Akane crossed her arms to look at Himari.

“And you, too. Don’t worry me so much. I can’t believe you left me on read, too.”

“Sorry, sorry. I was just busy.”

“I’m expecting you back at school tomorrow. It’s boring with you.”

“Were you lonely without me?”

“O-Of course.”

Akane bashfully admitted it. Seeing the clear difference in treatment, Saito felt lonely.

“Thanks…for letting me borrow Saito-kun.” Himari grabbed Saito’s hand and pulled him closer to Akane. “You can have him back now, but I might have to borrow him again in the future.”

“Wh-What do you mean…?” Akane narrowed her eyes like she was cautious.

“Well…Maybe next year, on the same day,” Himari said beneath the starry sky.

Saito sat in the living room on a regular Sunday, reading a book. Akane enjoyed his presence she didn’t get to feel, so she sat down next to him, working through a workbook. She knew that she should better focus on studying, but she found herself constantly sneaking glances at his face. When did Saito become someone she kept thinking about? And he might have realized her gaze, as he looked at her.

“Studying even on the weekend? Are you not gonna hang out with friends?”

“Himari went to the shopping mall with her father and Rieko-san to eat lunch. It seems like she’s getting along with them pretty well.”

“Well…I guess she’s got parents who actually care about her,” Saito muttered without much thought, but it sent an arrow of pain straight through Akane’s chest.

Why…is he making such a lonely face? He possessed skill, wealth, and honor. He shouldn’t have anything to lament. And yet, why do his eyes look so devoid of emotion, like he held not a single connection to this world?

“H-Hey…Saito?”

“What?”

She wanted to tell him of her feelings, if only a small bit. She may not be able to confess her love, but she at least wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone. She may be a coward beyond helping, but she still controlled her breathing and pushed out the words from inside her throat.

“This is your home.”

“…Huh? Well, duh. I’m not leaving.”

It didn’t go through to him. She wanted to approach him, but she couldn’t.

“Before…you said it was fine for me to be a bit more selfish, right?”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Then…tell me about yourself. What you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, what pain you’re carrying. If you keep quiet, I can never know.”

“I…I’m not in pain or anything.” Saito tried to look away, but Akane took his head, embracing it.

She didn’t want him to see her crimson-red face. But, she wanted him to know how she felt, how she couldn’t control these feelings any longer.

“I want to know…about your pain, about your traumas. Because…we’re husband and wife.”

Embraced by Akane’s arms, feeling such a gentle hug, Saito was dubious if this was even real. It wasn’t like Akane to do something like this. She should be a lot more confrontational, hate Saito with every fiber of her being, and insult him at the mere sight of him. And yet—this felt reassuring. It felt welcoming. This peace he had never felt before made him slowly melt away inside Akane’s chest. Words he didn’t understand started to rise up his throat. The inside of his head felt hot, as pain ran through his eyes. He felt something run down his cheek, which was scooped up by Akane.

“Why…am I crying?” Saito muttered.