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A Farewell to You
The most prominent feature of the Tsutsukakushi’s house of this time was the split banquet hall. Lined up on the low dining table were four udon bowls from a take-out food chain and four cups of oolong tea. While the four people present slurped down their fast food, Steel-san made a proud smile.
“I received the money from Mother and bought these on my own! You’d best thank me for providing you with precious food!”
“Thanks. So you can carry money and go on errands. You’re doing great. Really.”
“…I’m not too sure, but I feel like I hear some other emotion aside from gratitude mixed in there.”
“It’s fine, it’s fine. Don’t worry your sweet little cheeks about it.”
“Now I’ve definitely picked up on the contempt you’re showing! I ask you to praise me some more! I am your older sister!” She pointed her chopsticks at me, acting mighty overbearing.
“Use those chopsticks to eat, would you?” Tsukasa-san grabbed her by the chin.
She had already changed into her usual hedgehog costume.
“But he—”
“No buts.”
“But but but!” Steel-chan started pouting.
While she did so, the tips of her chopsticks hit the udon bowl.
“Ah.”
Of course, my hand didn’t make it in time, and the delicious-looking udon bowl fell from the low dining table. When she realized that her dinner had gone to ruin, Steel-san blinked several times. Finally, her gaze fell downwards.
“Ugh…” She rubbed her stomach and made a defeated expression.
“…Want to eat some of mine?”
“Ohhh… Ah… well… A warrior doesn’t need sympathy! I will turn my heart into steel and become stronger!” The future King closed her lips tightly, looking at her mother like she was asking for praise.
“You’re not a warrior, so just reflect on your mistake and accept it.” Tsukasa-san made a helpless smile, forced Steel-san to stand, and started wiping her clothes down.
“Mm… Mm!” Steel-san’s shoulders shook like she was being tickled.
Even so, she tried her best to hold her voice down. The fallen udon bowl slid towards Tsukiko-chan, who didn’t dare to waste any food, so she ate it up mercilessly.
“………”
I just observed my current environment. From behind the sliding door, darkness filled the garden. My back was to it, and I sat at the dining table illuminated by light, along with a mother and her daughters she loves so much. This is your average dinner scene of an average family—at the very least, that’s what it looks like from the outside.
“…Tsukasa-san, are you okay?”
“About what?”
“I mean, with the hospital and all…”
“Well…” Tsukasa-san scratched her chin, and Steel-san interjected joyfully.
“Mother has been unable to sleep without me recently! Although I’m perfectly fine on my own, I deemed it necessary for her health. That’s why I asked for permission and brought her home.”
“You’re mixing up who couldn’t sleep without who.”
“Y-You have no proof! Nobody else could have seen how I was clinging to your futon in my sleep!”
“Alright, I get it. So, who did you ask for permission?”
“Of course I asked someone responsible in the hospital!”
“Is that true, Tsukasa-san?”
She didn’t return my gaze right away. Instead, she stared at the low dining table.
“Well, that’s about it…”
“Even though you haven’t gotten any results from the check-up?”
“We talked to someone responsible for it.”
“Did you make sure the doctor wrote it in his documents properly?”
“…I think it was a nurse. And instead of documents, she used her words… We kind of convinced her…” She kept whispering with a quiet voice.
I could only think of one nurse.
“Her…”
The young, busty Onee-san wearing white nurse clothes. How can you allow this? I bet she’s panicking right about now.
“What, do you have any complaints concerning the judgement of a specialist? You might dislike the hospital, but I won’t allow any badmouthing.” Steel-san was munching on half of Tsukasa-san’s udon bowl as she glared at me. “I heard all about it! That you didn’t even visit your older sister—”
“Tsukushi, we ran out of tea. It’s in the fridge.”
“Hm?”
“Also, bring some ice, some hot water, a teacup, syrup, a spoon, and a dishcloth.”
“Leave it to me! Because I am a helpful child after all!” She stood up quickly, looking like a dog chasing after a thrown ball.
“For crying out loud…”
After her footsteps distanced themselves towards the kitchen, Tsukasa-san let out a sigh.
“…Sorry about that. I just got a call from your mother, and she happened to overhear some things.”
“Ah, it’s fine… She wasn’t wrong, after all.” I shook my head.
She’s your one and only older sister, and yet, what? You don’t want to see her? That’s not true, right?
Mom’s words played back inside my head. There’s no use making excuses. I don’t want to go there. Whenever I see my older sister, I always feel like I can’t do anything. Why is it always only about her—?
“…Senpai.”
Before I could answer Tsukiko-chan—
“You don’t have to go visit her. That’s the job of a parent.” Tsukasa-san said lightly.
“…But I’m her younger brother.”
“No. Brats are different. If they don’t want to go, then they don’t have to. That’s how it works.”
“But…”
“It can’t be helped. You don’t want to cry again, right?” Her calm gaze enwrapped me.
The older sister of the Yokodera Family—Yokodera Yotsuba—was born with a weak body. Ten years down the line, she’ll be a bit more healthy, but back during this time, she was constantly hospitalized. It was her hobby to look at pictures. I’ve seen her go through albums, comparing different pictures of me. However, these soon started going down in number.
Thanks for coming even on a Sunday like this.
Every time we met in the hospital room, she lowered her head again and again. Her shoulders, always devoid of flesh and muscle, shook in the process. Why should she be the one suffering and hurting? Why does she have to go through this? Why… is it always her who has to suffer?
Sorry that you had to come again.
Even though I haven’t done anything worthy of being her younger brother, she had to be considerate of me. I can’t do anything. I can’t carry even half of her suffering. I have no reason to even be there. It’s just us two siblings, and yet there was a wide trench open between us.
Sorry for always having you come over.
Even when I reached out my hand, I couldn’t reach her. Becoming a hero was impossible after all.
I’m sorry, You-kun. I’m so sorry—
Even while I was searching for the right words, I was left without any, and I just stayed quiet. Eventually, I became sick of seeing her delicate shoulders, and hated myself even more for thinking that, so I denied the entire idea of visiting her. My parents grew tired of me and pushed me off onto Tsukasa-san, who was still working at the time, which led me to get to know this family.
“Everyone would react the same way. Even adults, see. Both the people visiting and the people being visited go through completely different but still totally comparable levels of pain.” Tsukasa-san rested her chin on her hand.
She left behind a bit of her udon bowl for Steel-san.
“That’s why this is your parents’ job.”
“…But…”
“No buts. I can tell you right now that your older sister is aware of that. She’s not even angry at you for not coming to visit her.”
“…Mom is angry, though. She might not even let me come back.”
“Then you just have to live with us.” She said it nonchalantly.
“…Cough! Cough! Cough!” Tsukiko-chan was busy transferring the contents of the leftover udon bowl into her own tableware when she started coughing furiously.
She waved both of her hands frantically and covered her face. I had no idea what made her react like that. Maybe she was playing out a story inside her head.
“Well… Basically, you know… You’re basically like my own child.” Not realizing this, Tsukasa-san kept moving her chopsticks, only picking up transparent air.
Apparently, she was pretty bad at acting.
“…Thanks, Tsukasa-san. But—”
I was feeling awfully complicated feelings, but my thoughts were interrupted by footsteps arriving.
“I heard everything!” The unparalleled Steel-san glared at my face. “I object to having him sleep here excessively!”
“I think it’d just be something like the picnic…”
“Really…? Ah, no, that won’t persuade me!”
“I’ll make you sandwiches.”
“I consent!” Steel-san grinned. She had been won over way too easily. “Depending on what mood I’m in, I might even be willing to let him use the toilet.”
“Let’s not torture him, okay?” Tsukasa-san lowered her eyes, troubled as to how to respond. “By the way, what about the tea?”
“Ah, right. I came back to ask for help. Tsukiko, you shall assist me!” Steel-san ran towards the kitchen again.
“Senpai…” Tsukiko-chan gave me a worried gaze as she was dragged away by her older sister.
“…Yeah, I know.” I nodded calmly.
After watching the two sisters run off, Tsukasa-san narrowed her eyes. The song she hummed even reached us. Here I was, saved by them again. It’s really like the four of us were always living here. It’s like we’re an actual family, a happy one you could find anywhere. And yet—I had to tell her.
“Hey, Tsukasa-san.”
“Mm.”
Unable to look at Tsukasa-san’s gentle smile, I had to close my eyes. As the light of the paper lanterns was blocked off, I heard sounds I normally would have rather ignored. Only the paper sliding door blocked the cold breeze blowing against the outside of the house, raising cries of agony through its hard work.
“—Why did you wish for this curse?” I carefully asked in the midst of this darkness.
*
After a short silence…
“…What are you talking about?” Tsukasa-san gave me a troubled smile.
Blunt, yet kind. She showed an awfully kind smile. Just imagining this in my field of view prevented me from opening my eyes. However, I have to bring an end to this. No matter how beautiful of a dream it is.
“…I heard about it when I went to the storehouse.”
“…After me telling you not to—”
“I’m sorry I broke the promise. But there was nothing.”
“Nothing…?”
“There was nothing at all. The Cat God of this time doesn’t know of any curse.” I kept my eyes closed as I continued.
Let’s say that your curse really exists. It doesn’t exist at this time. At the very least, it’s none of my business. That’s what the Cat God had said. She said that no real curse existed. Nor was there any price to pay for a wish to be granted. If so, then this ‘Curse’ is something that only came into existence at a later point in time—Because someone wished for it. After reading the Taihei Public Records, Steel-san learned of the curse of a short lifespan and told me about it. So, speaking in terms of timeframe, she should be the first who knew of it. However, in the truest sense, she is not the origin of it.
“I don’t know when the curse came into existence. But I can guess the point of origin, since it doesn’t exist right now, just as the Cat God said.”
The first person to mentioned a curse in this world was—
Don’t get unnecessarily close to that Cat God. That thing curses people. It was Tsukasa-san, laying on the futon, who said that.
“Why did you say it with the implication that it exists, even though it shouldn’t…?”
It’s Tsukasa-san’s word against the Cat God’s. It was a clear contradiction, giving hints to the origin of the curse.
“I’ll apologize if I said anything wrong, so please tell me the reason—Tsukasa-san.”
I didn’t even want to think about it. Bu, I was ready to be scolded for being wrong. Honestly, I hoped that I was wrong. I was praying for it. However…
—Tsukasa-san wasn’t angry,
“So there really wasn’t anything?” She rubbed my shoulder gently. “So even after entering the storehouse, you weren’t cursed…”
“Huh…?”
“Yeah, a curse was a really stupid idea. Then again, that should have been obvious.” Her sigh of relief didn’t sound fake. I see. So she wasn’t lying on purpose. She simply believed in this curse.
“So there’s no curse. Isn’t that great?” She sounded like she was celebrating. “Even if that Cat God exists, there is no curse. This family is safe. So then…” She took a deep breath. “I should be able to live much longer, right? Spend more time with them, right?” She laughed like a hedgehog showing its stomach. “Go on a picnic together, go on a trip together, go shopping together, nurse their colds, look over their homework, be complained at, make up and eat dinner together, go visit their sports festival, go to their graduation ceremony, see them become adults, attend their marriage ceremony, smile and laugh, scold them and praise them—Become happy together.” Tsukasa-san continued listing her wishes, like she couldn’t hold back anymore. “I can watch over my daughters’ future growth. There’s nothing greater for a parent than to watch their children grow up healthy. I’m glad there’s no curse.”
I shook my head, unable to say anything. But Tsukasa-san should be aware of it already. She doesn’t need me to tell her.
“Right? Hey, say something…”
That won’t work. How could it? After all, Tsukasa-san will die. There is no way around that. She wasn’t going to die because of a curse that doesn’t exist. She will die because of her own destiny.
“I’m sure you know of it already, but there was a flood here a few years back. Because of that, I felt under the weather for a while, and that really was bad for my heart, since I was unable to see my daughters for a while. Just when I thought I finally got them back, I‘m hospitalized. There’s still so many things I need to do. So please say something…” Tsukasa-san wasn’t a saint, nor was she a great adult.
Like a mother you could find anywhere, she put her hand on my shoulder, shaking it. Subconsciously, I opened my eyes.
I immediately regretted it.
“If not, then this doesn’t make any sense. They’re so young. A parent unable to see their own children grow up? How can I accept that…?”
Tsukasa-san was crying. Large teardrops ran down her cheeks and chin. Not heeding my presence, she started weeping like a child.
“……”
I always thought that the words ‘The heart lies within the brain’ were a lie. My chest started to burn up in pain, and my throat felt scorched, not allowing me to form a single sound. The inside of my body felt like it had been ripped up and torn apart.
“What did I even do? Nothing at all. I haven’t done anything yet. Hey, tell me. What should I do in order to keep watch over my daughters? I’ll do anything, so please—” With a quivering voice, while shedding tears, the girl desperately tried to continue speaking.
“We have a God. A really strong God who can do whatever you want, so—”
The only thing she could do was believe in this curse. She didn’t want to admit that this was her own fate.
‘Then why don’t I show you some proof? Let’s pray, then your sickness might also—’
Don’t be ridiculous.
Despite her strong level of self-control, she broke this self-control for the sake of someone else—Subconsciously.
“How can I accept this situation if there’s no curse…?!”
Instead of hope, she wished for despair, since that was her only method of coping with this situation. Because of this, the rules in the Tsutsukakushi Family were twisted.
“Tsukasa-san…” I finally managed to say something. I reached out to her with my hand.
I don’t mind doing whatever is necessary. I had done it again and again, after all. I’m ready to do whatever is needed. However, I want to see her smile. I don’t want to see girls cry. I wanted my first love to be smiling. Ever since I was able to think for myself, this body always acted for someone else.
“………” Her long, watery eyelashes looked at me.
She kneeled down in front of me, reaching my line of sight. Her kind, warm, and also cold lips were pointed at me. They quivered like a hedgehog’s defenseless needles, with only a faint opening. They looked so close, yet so far away. I gently brought my fingertips closer, and with the sensation of her skin in reach, the distance between us reached zero—
“What are you doing?!”
—When someone suddenly landed a perfect screw-type dropkick on me.
“This is bullying, is it not?! Family-intern bullying! Have you finally shown your fangs, you monster?!”
The sliding door had opened, and the King, burning in rage, jumped at me. There was a dull impact, and my body was slammed onto the ground, mounted, hit, and beaten by the horse-riding King. It made me feel like I was going through hell.
“Those who make my mother cry will feel the wrath of a thousand deaths!” Her overbearing manner rendered the previously-serious atmosphere completely useless.
That’s the rising star of the hill with the cedar tree for you! The Steel Commander always emerges victorious, and she will guide the people of this world to prosperity. That’s Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi!
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean anything bad by it please forgive me!”
“So you admit that you were bullying Mother?”
“I don’t!”
“You’re not reflecting on it at all! Change that attitude!”
“I was bullying her!”
“What a crime! You shall be charged!”
For some reason, I found myself admitting my own guilt. The grounds of the Tsutsukakushi Family were paradise, after all. They even accepted my bullying.
*
“…I am terribly sorry for having jumped to conclusions like that…” Steel-san sat atop the tatami floor, lowering her head.
“She will be careful in the future, so hurry and finish your business.” Tsukiko-chan stood next to her.
She had the appearance of a mother apologizing for her child. I forgave them for every trespass. I really am easy.
“However, it did look like Mother was crying…” Tsukiko-chan said, shooting me a suspicious gaze.
“…Some dust got into my eye,” Tsukasa-san said, hiding the traces of her tears.
Only I knew about her soft sensation and cold eyes.
“Dust! I shall never forgive you!” Commander Steel burned with rage once again.
Her justice was always searching for a reason to ignite.
“I finally understand what it is that I have to do! Until I clear away all trash and dust in this world, there will be no peace! Our battle has only begun!”
“Abort mission.” Tsukasa-san chopped Steel-san’s head. “You like your parents way too much.”
“Of course. Mother and I are always together. I will walk on while holding her hand, grow as I watch her back, and sleep next to her—Until eventually I die just like her.” Steel-san gave a bright smile.
She looked up at her mother, narrowing her eyes—not knowing that she had caused the same future to befall her by saying that.
“Oi… Don’t say things like that so lightly.”
“What are you saying? People are bound to die one day. What is wrong with wishing to die the same way as a parent?”
“—” Tsukasa-san swallowed her breath.
She looked down at her daughter, who smiled with absolutely no ill intent. This was the birth—of the curse. The curse a mother had cast on her daughter. Now, Steel-san would take the same path as her mother—and die as young as her mother did.
Like the biting words of a witch that would activate naturally with time, Steel-san would grow up, and the moment she reached adulthood, would lose her life. Just as I had seen in the future. She had already started down that path.
“I see…” Tsukasa-san looked at the ceiling.
For a moment, her expression was shaken. Her throat moved up and down. For a second, I saw a hallucination of something glittering beneath her eyes. When she lowered her head, she had her face under control again, and she reached for Steel-san’s head.
“Hey, Tsukushi, promise me one thing.”
“…Hm?”
“I will try my best to stay alive as long as possible. So you have to do the same.” She spoke with an indifferent voice. “You have to protect his family. Work together with your little sister, and live on. There are many painful and hurtful things in this world, but there’s no need for you to carry everything. Cancel all the things that were drawn to you unjustly.” She said these words to cancel the curse.
“Mm… You say some complicated things, Mother… Of course, since I am an adult, I completely understand what you mean.” Steel-san showed a bashful smile as Tsukasa-san rubbed her head.
Thus, the shape of the Tsutsukakushi Household returned to the shape it ought to have been—without anybody realizing it.
“……” Tsukiko-chan must have understood the meaning behind Tsukasa-san’s words, and she grabbed her hand. “Can’t you just continue to wish? That way, Mother would be able to…” She looked up, like she was praying.
Using the power of the Cat God and her righteous wish, Tsukasa-san’s destiny could possibly be changed. That’s what Tsukiko-chan was talking about. We used words only we understood, which left Steel-san confused. It was a very important conversation for the future of this world. But…
“It’s enough. I’m about done.” Tsukasa-san gave a faint smile.
She probably wouldn’t accept such a method. The thorn of not wanting to harm her children–now or in the future. That’s what it means to be a parent.
“But we can still…”
“…That reminds me, I found this in front of the house.” Tsukasa-san interrupted Tsukiko-chan, and took a piece of paper out of her pocket.
When she opened the folded paper, the illustration of a busty and muscular Tsukiko-chan appeared.
“That’s…” I recognized it.
It was the picture of the future that Tsukiko-chan had drawn.
“I’ve seen how much you’ve grown before. There’s not many filial pieties that come from the future, after all.” She embraced Tsukiko-chan tightly.
Although she was still in the shape of her younger self, the girl inside was the grown Tsukiko Tsutsukakushi.
“Live strong. That’s all I ask you for. If you do that, then your parents won’t die.” She gently rubbed Tsukiko-chan’s back.
I had trouble holding back my tears.
“We can live on in the memories of our children. For all eternity.”
“But are you really fine with that—?” Tsutsukaksuhi asked as Tsukasa-san rubbed a cheek against hers.
“It’s fine. I’m satisfied with this.” The words she muttered sounded like a faint ancestor had said, and like a close mother.
I see…
…I am mostly satisfied.
I finally understand what Cat God-chan had said.
I am stored in the corner of this storehouse, receiving no reward or praise. Those who are healthy don’t need me. All this time, and even now, I think to myself—Ahh, I’m so satisfied being a God.
Satisfaction. It’s not good nor bad. Putting good and bad things together, she still feels satisfied. If she practically asked for the impossible, it would leave her happy as a parent, and if her children could live a long and prosperous life, she had the determination to become a God.
“We… we are always with you, Mother…” Tsutsukakushi started sobbing, and we could tell, since her young body still had her expressions.
“Why… why are you crying…?” Steel-san started weeping, herself.
Everyone is a child here, seriously. Tsukasa-san opened her arms and embraced the two of them.
“…Well, if I already have two, then a third won’t matter too much…”
Only then did I realize that my field of view had gotten blurry from all my tears, and my eyes hot. I didn’t even think. I just jumped into Tsukasa-san’s arms.
My first love. My beloved one. Did I make you happy?
Tsukasa-san gave me no response. Instead, she rested her chin on my head.
“There’s one thing you misunderstood, Youto.”
“…What?”
“About your family. You weren’t cast aside by our parents and picked up by me. It’s the opposite. I summoned you to come here. Back when neither Tsukushi nor Tsukiko were with me, and just working at the nursery.”
She’s saying that she wished for me to come to her house after she fell sick because of the flood.
“Since I was so desperate to have children with me, I was thinking about something idiotic. That’s why—I wished you here.”
I remembered the pink-reddish-haired twintails space monster. When the school was Italy-fied, and the Cat God called Emanuela Pollarola was a tool.
Everyone is nothing but a tool.
It was just as Cat God-chan had said. As a matter of fact, both that girl and I were called here because of a wish.
“It was a long dream, and a happy one. You saved me. That’s why it’s enough. You have a place to return to, a place you belong.”
This was her way of erasing her wish.
“Yokodera Youto, you will be raised by the parents who love you, like before, and grow up to become happy.”
—Like before. I thought that was impossible. After all, before I was called here by Tsukasa-san, I was always alone. More than cancelling her wish, isn’t this quite possibly her final prayer?
“…Yeah.” I nodded.
This is a story of wishes. The stories of people who wished for the sake of someone precious to them.
“I’m sure that you can become someone.” Tsukasa-san told me who had believed he could become someone, but eventually failed, without any basis. “But,” She placed her palm on my head.
She wasn’t as rough as before. She did it as gently as possible.
“Don’t force yourself to act like an adult. Stay as a child when you are one. Then again, you’ll probably stay one forever, you brat.”
These words she whispered remained in my ears. I’m sure that these feelings I had now would continue to rest inside my heart.
“Ah…” Someone muttered, and we all looked around.
With the sound of something cracking, the world was filled with colors. Sound and colors created a flood that entered from the garden, broke through the sliding door, and filled the banquet hall.
It was the light that started the transformation of the world. The light that turns everything to how it was from the beginning, starting a new page in this story. The light enveloped my body. A primitive fear crawled up my feet. When I felt like screaming out, someone took my hand. The grip I felt was full of love, supporting me.
“…Become happy.”
I looked up and saw Tsukasa-san’s gentle smile. She was looking over me wherever I was, no matter what I was doing. Eventually, the light reached my chest and I closed my eyes.
—Thank you, and goodbye.
Thus, Yokodera Youto vanished.
CClaw Translations 