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I am all alone inside the dark room
We took the bus from the hospital, and by the time we got off at the bus stop near the Tsutsukakushi’s house, the sun had started to set. The hazy western sun disappeared behind the bus stop sign. A long shadow appeared on the ground, looking like the entire world was about to get eaten up.
“Isn’t this…?”
I thought it looked similar to The Gates of Hell. When we walked away from it, the stone wall appeared on our side. Overgrown with moss like Yomotsu Hirasaka, the Path to the Underworld, it showed the colors of the ages, but continued endlessly. The Tsutsukakushi family’s grounds were awfully large, and the gate was still far away. Even the asphalt I should have gotten used to by now felt much longer because of my current body.
“Well, it’ll pass soon as we walk! There’s this proverb, right? In travelling, something something, and in life, sympathy, right?”
“Everyone is a traveller, and the world will end?”
“Let’s not create some kind of terrorist slogan, okay?! Consider the times!”
Tsutsukakushi averted her gaze.
“Only our goal is the same, pervert.”
“Ah, a 5-7-5.”
“Hm?”
“Your words often have some sort of rhythm to them, right? Only our goal is the same pervert, as well as the need for love.”
“…Could you not turn what I’m saying into a short tanka poem? And don’t add additional lyrics. JASRAC1 will come hunting for you.”
“I don’t think a poem and a song are the same thing, Tsukiko-chan!”
We talked like this for a while until we finally saw the gate in the distance. A man and a woman, both wearing winter clothes, stood in front of it.
“Huh…?” I tilted my head in confusion, and Tsukiko-chan stopped in her tracks as well.
The woman looked all too familiar. She’s the person who’s been frequently visiting the Tsutsukakushi Family, the Onee-san with her hair dyed a foreign color—the stand-in from the Italian side. Of course, I knew the man as well. He needed no introduction. Just his name should be enough for everyone to know who he was—Pollarola. Emi’s Papa. The two of them spotted us.
“Welcome back—Perfect timing.” They each raised their hands and smiled at us.
Like two evil demons.
*
That made it sound like we were going down some adventure game splatter party catastrophe. Of course, that wasn’t what actually happened. This isn’t something you should say with an overly triumphant look, but metaphors like these often reflect the speaker’s own feelings and opinions, rather than reality itself. There’s no guarantee that my viewpoint is correct. After all, I suck at explaining things, and I’m a fake prince too.
As things turned out, they weren’t demons at all. Nor were they evil people. They were merely kind next-door neighbors.
“We came here to apologize.”
The big-breasts Onee-san spoke up, and Mr. Pollarola next to her nodded.
“Eh, b-but, Tsukasa-san isn’t home right now…”
“No, we came to apologize to you.” The Onee-san gave her trademark troubled smile.
Apparently, they had been waiting here for a while since nobody answered the doorbell.
“Sorry for what happened yesterday. I only realized later that you probably heard what we were talking about. It wasn’t something that should be talked about close to you like that.”
They both bowed deeply in apology, and I was a bit lost as to how to respond. It wasn’t something to apologize for. Instead, the ones doing the apologizing should be us. We saw her as an enemy and tried to deceive her. But before I could find any way to respond, they both raised their heads.
“From now on, I’ll try to talk with them.” She was referring to the Italian side of the family.
It appears like Tsukasa-san’s hard work wasn’t for nothing. It’s great to hear—but not exactly a relief, either.
“…Thank you very much. I’m sorry.” I finally managed to say, suppressing the painful feeling in my chest.
The Onee-san tilted her head in slight puzzlement.
“Also, this is his way of thanking you.” She glanced over at Mr. Pollarola.
“…Senpai.” Tsukiko-chan tugged on my hand.
Only then did I realize how much I was sweating. However…
“I’m happy nice to meet you heart boy.” He grinned and nodded.
I couldn’t pick up any ill-intent from his smile.
“Very very very very very happy happy happy boy.”
Also, he’s way too close. What is he even saying? I don’t know. All I know is that he’s way too close. His hand is on my shoulder and all that. Can you not? It’ll make me feel like I’m some girl who’s being hit on.
“Basically, this family helped him out a lot.” The Onee-san offered a translation.
I heard that he asked Tsukasa-san—basically, the Cat God—to help his family. A lot of things happened, and he wanted to thank Tsukasa-san, so he came back to this foreign land and fought a hard battle to find his way here. He almost got lost, but was saved by this woman, and they made it to the Tsutsukakushi Household together.
He spoke with love and tears, like it was some kind of a moving tale, but it was way too long. Oh so very long. His depictions of events could easily fill dozens of light novel pages, that’s how long they were. It’s not related to Yokodera-kun at all, so why am I being forced to listen to this? A professional doesn’t just write whatever he wants. That’s just ego and arrogance.
If I were to write a story, and Tsukiko-chan were my editor, I’d have to listen to a one-hour lecture, and all of those dozens of pages would end up being deleted. Who even came up with this plot? Reflect on your actions. Yes, I will. By the way, if I picture Tsukiko-chan in place of the person in front of me, then it’s not that bad! I’d love to be scolded!
Anyway, to sum things up, Emi’s Papa had a debt to repay the Tsutsukakushi Family.
As of right now, I can’t speak properly just yet. One day I’ll definitely repay this debt. I will do anything so that you and your daughters can live in peace. Please tell Tsutsukakushi Tsukasa-san that I said this.
He used countless gestures, which allowed me to somewhat figure out that this was what he was saying. In ten years, or maybe even in a world that won’t come anymore, he will try everything to cure the Tsutsukakushi Family’s eldest daughter’s disease. Even if it means resetting the world over and over. That’s how great of a change the Cat God made in him. I have absolutely no idea what he felt, or even what he’s feeling right now, but it’s not my job to judge him. All I know is that he’s decided to work for the sake of the family. Just like how I’m living for the sake of a girl’s smile.
Our lives and goals have been decided by what has happened at this very house. He and I might have even more in common than I thought. I remembered what Tsukasa-san had told me.
There’s no real evil in this world.
Indeed, nobody is really evil. This is a rule in my world. Although it’s naive, and also cruel. How easy it could have been to defeat this evil Italian gentleman and reach a Happy End? But it can’t be helped. That’s just how this world works.
*
But, let’s just end the annoying talk right about there. If possible, I want to focus on the Onee-san’s big breasts. Not to mention that she’s wearing a knitted one-piece beneath the coat, one that would be able to slay any man.
“Breasts!”
Losing my focus, I happened to blurt these words out loud. You can read more about my reasoning back in the tenth volume of the Yokodera-kun notes.
“Oh really…?” Onee-san gave me a vague smile.
She had this divine reaction to the boy who had stopped listening pretty much midway through. She was simply troubled trying to figure out how to react. Also, parts of her face looked oddly familiar. In order to respect the privacy of that child, I won’t mention the name, but I think I was looking at an older version of a certain twintails space monster. I hope you grow up to look like this, Emi-chan!
“Oh yes. I love breasts, yes. Yuuto.” Mr Pollarola placed his hand on my shoulder, smiling at the Onee-san.
Oi, that’s just sexual harassment now…
“Oh no…”
From his reaction, I found myself having a sudden urge to attempt a risky stunt, which honestly impressed me. His smile was oddly invigorating. This was the first time we had truly been able to communicate on the same level.
“Breasts!”
Both of us smiled.
“……”
While we did so, Tsukiko-chan stood behind us, patting her chest. No matter how many times we remake the world, that one thing won’t change. That’s right, this is the first time you’ve heard this breasts chant. I escaped from Emi Papa’s grasp and ran towards Tsukiko-chan.
“You’re wrong, you’re wrong. I didn’t mean it that way. There are no highs or lows on the breast scale. The person on the 10,000 yen note said as much. It is said that heaven does not create one chest above or below another chest2.”
“What comes after that?”
“‘Right now, in this wide human world, there exists a poor chest, a luxurious chest, noblemen, menials, and in the ideal state, we should see no difference between cloud and mud’.”
“See, it says that there’s a great difference3.”
“Well, I guess you can see it that way…”
Bad communication! I added even more oil and gas to the fire! If she explodes, then nothing will be left, and an endless void will surround Demon Lord-chan. She took out a familiar-looking drawing paper. It is the (alleged) future Tsukiko-chan with her dynamite drills and crystal bombs—Wait, why does she have that with her!?
“…After everything you said, this was your type the entire time. Right, Senpai?”
“Well, um…”
“I know. I knew it already.” Tsukiko-chan averted her gaze.
Her cheeks were puffed out, like a squirrel that had stuffed its mouth for the winter. It looked really cute, making me want to take a bite out of these cheeks, but I’ll get burned if I don’t cool the fire down first.
“Listen to me, Tsukiko-chan! Look at my honest eyes! I don’t differentiate between girls because of my personal preferences! I love everyone! I want to live in a utopia filled with all sorts of girls!”
“Hmph.”
“Look, a pigeon came out of my silk hat! And wow, there’s an elephant coming out of my trousers! So big!”
“Hmph. Hmph.”
“Tsukiko-chaaan…”
“Hmph, yes.” She was obviously sulking.
No matter what I did, no matter how much I stripped, she wouldn’t dare look at me. This is a serious one. One that’ll get me killed. Even a highly-trained Yokodera-kun can’t deal with this situation. Just like there are things people should and shouldn’t say, there are things that Tsukiko-chan can and can’t forgive.
“…Fufu, you two sure are close.” The Onee-san smiled at us and turned around.
It meant that the time had come for us to depart. We kind of ruined the conversation at the end there, but I guess it can’t be helped. This is our story, and not theirs by any means. Since life is so long, we can’t describe everything that happens in it. In my case and my world’s case, Tsukiko-chan is my editor-in-charge, the person at the center.
When we were left alone in front of the Tsutsukakushi Household, I cleared my throat. I had to get this situation under control.
“As I said before I might have spoken in a way that could have been misinterpreted a bit too easily which is why I would like to apologize right here and assure you that I meant no harm in any way so I was hoping that maybe you could find the graciousness in your heart to forgive me?”
“……” Tsutsukakushi still looked to the side, showing no reaction.
“Taking further circumstances into consideration, I would advise you to let me retract my statement so we can face forward and focus on what’s important right now.”
“……” Tsutsukakushi still looked to the side, showing no reaction.
“Basically, I’m saying that I like you, Tsukiko-chan!”
“………” Tsutsukakushi still looked to the side.
However, her shoulders twitched, and she had a great reaction this time. Indeed, studies have shown that this method of conquering Tsukiko-chan works quite well. ‘Adore,’ ‘like,’ ‘like,’ ‘love,’ I repeated these words over and over.
“…Hm…”
Finally, like snow that had started to melt during a spring thaw, her cheeks slowly softened.
“Well, I’ll just leave it at that for now. We might have a discrepancy of opinion, but this isn’t the time to be hung up on that.” At the end of it all, she let out an obscure sigh.
With heavy feet, like they were glued to the ground, Tsukiko-chan moved inside the gate. From behind her, it looked like she was the same girl as always. I knew that something was different, however.
For example, thanks to the childish shape of her body, I could tell that she was blushing all the way down to her nape. I tried to imagine what it must have looked like from the front. I say this a lot, and I’ve known this for a while, but… she sure is cute. So easy. Of course, I’m talking about Yokodera-kun. I really would make a good romcom protagonist.
When I passed through the gate, I remembered something and turned around. Down the road, I could see two people walking: Mr Pollarola and the Onee-san. They looked like a pair of wild birds with feathers all over.
No—I shook my head. They didn’t just look like it, they must have been exactly that. Thanks to this chance meeting, they will fall in love, spend time together, and give birth to the twintails space monster Emanuela-chan. The world will go down the same path, again and again. For all eternity. No matter how many stones you throw, the result won’t change.
“But…” I muttered in a quiet voice.
But I am right here. I came back to the past. After looping in the same timeline a hundred times, I am an irregularity in this time period. It’s self-explanatory why I am here—It’s because I asked the Cat God. I’m not the one throwing the stone into the lake of this world. I’m not the player. The one who threw the stone was The Cat God. That god is the only one who can change destiny. After I was forced to listen to the greater half of the entire lifespan of Mr Pollarola, I’m convinced that the Cat God holds the keys to changing reality.
It’s like an omnipotent and miraculous medicine. The holy sword of the brave hero who can banish the demon lord. Deus Ex Machina. Cat God-chan is a wonderful God. Despite that…
Don’t get unnecessarily close to that Cat God. That thing curses people.
What Tsukasa-san had said came back to mind. What’s the price of a granted wish? Where will the curse of the Cat God be given? That was what I was curious about.
*
I took the key from the vase right inside the hallway and we headed towards the storehouse. From the portions of the sky that weren’t obstructed by the roof, we saw red slowly changing to dark blue. The sun had started to set, and it would only be a few hours until the moon would start to rise. The time of twilight had come. Or, in other words, it was the time for monsters to come out of hiding.
“What am I thinking about?” I shook my head.
I was starting to imagine something straight out of some kind of supernatural mystery novel. The reason for that was simple. It was because the atmosphere surrounding the storehouse was clearly different. When I moved the double doors to the left and right, a dusty breeze blew against me, passing through my clothes as it disappeared like an ominous laugh. The darkness dwelling inside made me feel like I had been wrapped in tar, not allowing me to move. If what Tsukasa-san said is true, then the storehouse shouldn’t have been locked up for that long.
So before it was locked up, people left and entered regularly. That must mean that entering like this should be safe at least.
“…Senpai.” I felt Tsukiko-chan grab the hem of my clothes.
And then I realized that I had gone a bit stiff myself. Even though we had only taken a single step inside the storehouse, we were unable to move forward. We were standing still like turkeys. Thanks to the portable flashlight I had with me, I could see a giant cat statue in front of the back wall. It just stared at us, with a blank face that held no expression whatsoever.
“There it is…” The words escaped my mouth without me realizing it.
I was probably telling myself that everything worked out now that we came here. There’s no guarantee that the Cat God of this time knows about us. Even so, the identity of this God was handed down with the passage of time. It was an other-dimensional being, an evil spirit, a monster of ancient times, something we could not even hope to prepare against. When I realized this, I felt dizzy.
“Senpai… Senpai…”
I returned to reality right away. A meek voice, breathing out of rhythm, came from behind me. She must have realized that I was acting off, and was trying to support me. Tsukiko-chan really is strong… Yeah, I’m feeling better now, thanks to my sensitive Tsukiko-chan.
“…What are you even saying?” Tsutsukakushi twisted the back of my shirt. “This place is weird. I can feel something here.”
“…Yeah.”
“Let’s go back and rethink our strategy.” She pulled on my clothes, walking back outside the storehouse.
As a matter of fact, I had broken a promise.
…The past, huh?
Tsukasa-san sounded like she believed us when we said we were from the future. That being said…
Don’t go in there alone. You definitely have to call for me.
Even though she had warned me directly, I disobeyed. In most horror stories I’ve heard, the people who ignore clear warnings are the first ones to get eaten. Maybe this storehouse is hiding some kind of grotesque monster as well.
“That being said,” I shrugged. “Nietzsche was the one who said it. He said that God is dead.”
You shan’t be afraid of things that don’t exist. I know for a fact that person is a god, after all.
“Senpai…?”
Monster. Evil spirit. Atypical lifeform. God—What of it? Unless I see it with my own eyes, it doesn’t exist. This is my world, and from my point of view only the things I say are correct. One entrance, one exit, all connected. Here, my subjectivity decides everything. There is no stronger concept than this. Even without a knife or some kind of magic eye, I can kill the god of a single belief. I don’t need some kind of hero-summoning magic, either. I glared up at the Cat God and overwrote all of it with my subjectivity.
And then, at the end of all that, the results showed themselves.
“Ah… ahh! How could this happen, Tsukiko-chan?! The Cat God! Look!”
“I get it I understand so can we just leave already.” Tsutsukakushi clung to me.
Even so, I did not pull away my gaze from the Cat God. Before worrying about the darkness, the atmosphere, and anything like that, there was one important thing I had to say.
“—It ain’t wearing any clothes!”
A very long silence followed my words. Finally, Tsutsukakushi spoke up.
“…Senpai. Um, Senpai?” She rubbed her ears.
However, I want you to look at the reference material right in front of us. The cat statue is wearing a typical cat collar, but nothing besides that. In conclusion, it’s utterly naked. I know this sounds obvious since we’re talking about a statue here, but since it might materialize here, I’m quite worried.
Consequently, our dear Cat God-chan gets excited by showing herself like this, or doesn’t know of the concept called ‘clothes.’ Either way, it’s quite possibly the greatest type of communication between different cultures. How did I never realize this? What a wonderful bonus stage this is! I’ve missed so many attack opportunities!
“Senpai, you’re getting goosebumps. Did something happen?” Tsukiko-chan was sensitive towards the atmosphere as usual, moving away from my clothes.
Meeting her cold, harsh glare, I nodded. This is it. This is where we’ll be doing it. Everything has to start here. What should I do? Easy. It’s just like my past self told me.
From the bottom of my heart, I made a wish. I fabricated the appearance of the god and came up with a solution. I should be able to do it.
“Come out, Cat God!”
*
Thus, my wish was granted.
“……!” Tsutsukakushi swallowed her breath.
A strong vibration hit the storehouse, and the dust started to dance around us. In the midst of this vague scene, I could see a single girl. Just like with Azuki Azusa, and the Yokodera House, the Cat God’s physical body was brought here.
Long, glossy hair colored like a jet-black crow. An eyebrow line that looked like it had been drawn with a fine pencil. Long eyelashes and almond eyes beneath. A high bridge above her nose. Crimson red lips. Even in the midst of the dust, her clear and beautiful facial features stood out. With a graceful gesture, the girl looked at us.
“—Are you the imbecile of a man who has summoned me?” Her voice was filled with scorn and disdain. “Humans and Gods are fundamentally different. Since you have shown the arrogance of setting foot into my domain, I can tell that you’re already beyond help. You must be prepared, right?” Dignity unbefitting her girly appearance reigned in her words.
The more she spoke, the more words she said, the faster I felt my heart race. Of course, it wasn’t because of anxiety or worry. Oh no. I’m excited as heck. It’s Cat God-chan! The Cat God-chan I know so much. Voice, face, and personality, it’s all the exact same as the future Cat God-chan! It’s a perfect illustration drawn by Kantoku-sama! Now this is something I can get excited about. However, there was one thing that threw me off.
“Impossible…”
She’s wearing… clothes? It was an old-fashioned Japanese kimono. A kimono with long sleeves, black as its primary color, with a small ring made out of tree peony in the center. It emphasized the old idea of wabi-sabi, the aesthetic sense centered around transience and imperfection but it’s not like that matters right now what is going on?!
“Why… why…?”
This should have been the flow of events that would lead to a defenseless and naked illustration, which I could add to the HenNeko fully-naked illustration collection. What is this? This is not what I had planned!
“It’s too late to regret it now. Heaven’s net has large meshes, but nothing escapes. What are you dancing around for?” Like she was making fun of my groaning, Cat God-chan glared at me with her usual dignified appearance.
Her sense of superiority was not easy to figure out, and it stabbed my body all over. However, I’m the angry one and the disappointed one here. Since this could be considered the climax, a safer route is surely more appreciated, and is more socially acceptable. However, isn’t this the God who can break free from society’s rules? Give the readers a treat, god damn it!
“Fufu, I can hear your teeth clattering. That is understandable, as our souls in itself are different from the ground up—Hm?”
I can’t forgive this. My eyes turned red, and I took a step forward.
“What… What are you doing? Wait, wait, you’re too close. Hey, do you not have any sense of personal space?” She must have noticed my odd behaviour. Every time I took a step forward, Cat God-chan would take one back.
“Ouch! Something hit my back… Ah, it’s the wall. I’ve reached the wall. Um, hey, will you listen to me?”
She was finally pressed against the wall, and she anxiously glanced left and right. When she saw that she had no more room to escape, she sunk to the ground and looked up at me.
“I-I don’t know what you plan on doing, but I won’t succumb to your fiendish tac—”
I looked at those lips blurting out those cocky words and—
“!?!?!?!”
—Kissed them four seconds after our meeting! …Well, to be perfectly honest, more than four seconds have probably passed since then, but I thought it sounded cool.
“Mmmm!? Nnnn…!? Wha, eh, huh!?” Cat God-chan started blinking furiously, trying to break free.
She hammered her slender hands against my chest, kicking her legs up and down. She pulled on my ears and cheeks, but she still couldn’t escape from this deadlock. Indecent onomatopoeia filled the storehouse. However, I allowed her no resistance. This is a modern Luddite Revolution. I will cleanse this society from the Cat God’s influence and take back everything that has been stolen. All the boys in the world, lend me your strength!
“E-Even though you’re a powerless human being…” Cat God-chan managed to push me away. “Gya!? D-Don’t lick my mouth…!”
However, I recovered the distance between us right away. Who cares about our height difference? This is the greatest social caste battle that modern society has ever seen. Organize the powerless social classes of all countries and gather beneath the cloudless sky to sing the hymns of our revolution!
“I-I don’t… What are you…? S-Stop… stop already… pwease…”
Break, Cat God! Have your freedom stolen from you! The bourgeoisie will hang! All girls are bourgeois. We proletarians will redistribute the wealth again! Share your property! All boys will be freed with my revolution! The revolution that begins with a kiss!
Thus…
“Waaaaaah! I don’t wanna! I’m going home!” God was crying, covering her weeping face.
The root of all evil, the all-powerful sight of the Cat God had vanished elsewhere. Instead, there stood a single, defenseless girl. Hah! A flawless victory!
“Phew.” I wiped the sweat from my forehead.
Now that was some good exercise. My lips were tired from all the action, my palms were dripping with sweat, and my sides hurt.
Wait, my sides?
You may ask why, but the reason was simple. Someone had been stabbing their fingers into my sides for a while now, like a bird pecking me. When I turned around…
“I don’t know for certain but personally if you ask me it looks like you were quite enjoying yourself there.” Tsukiko-chan looked at me, her index finger pointing upwards.
Or maybe it was more than looking. It indeed seemed like she was staring.
“I-I wasn’t enjoying myself, I just wanted her to hear us out properly!”
“So in pervert language, you kiss someone when you want to talk?”
“Maybe…?”
“Is that so? So Senpai loves talking with practically every girl you meet. Back then, at that time, and this time as well.”
“Wait wait wait. I feel like you’re going down a path you can’t come back from!”
“Hmm…”
It seemed like clearing up this misunderstanding would take some time. Then again, how do you clear up a misunderstanding when there isn’t even one there? Maybe with philosophy?
*
As you know, nothing stays hidden between Tsutsukakushi and I. I had no indecent intentions by summoning Cat God-chan here, I merely wanted to prove the truths of the world, since I’m a member of the Fully-naked rights activism group. When I told her this…
“Senpai really is a pervert through and through.” Tsukiko-chan said, sounding quite exhausted. “Is being naked or not really related to this at all? How much value does ‘being naked’ even add? Isn’t it just a difference in the number of layers of clothes being?”
“Layers of clothes…?!” A shock ran through my body.
I see. You can interpret it this way, as well. Tsukiko-chan is merely wearing fabric atop of her otherwise naked body. She’s making such a calm expression, but she’s absolutely naked beneath her clothes. Without that thin fabric, her breasts would always be in plain view. When you take that perspective, then the naked cat statue is the same. What a revelation. What perversion.
“You really are beyond help…” The almost-naked Tsutsukakushi shook her defenseless head.
So cute.
“Senpai, why has your gaze suddenly turned so lewd?”
“Who’s the lewd one?! You, Tsukiko-chan!”
“Is that so? I guess the next time we meet will be in court, then.” She didn’t even hesitate to throw a red card.
I feel like this referee sometimes disregards the law entirely, and it’s a bit scary.
The two of us were flirting around, when…
“What… What is with you two…?” Cat God-chan, who had been left to the side for a while now, looked at us as she muttered to herself.
A moment ago she had been quivering and covering her body with her hands, but it appeared as if she had now recovered.
“Sorry, are you feeling better now?”
“…And now you’re acting like nothing happened… Humans have gotten a lot worse since the last time I met one…”
Even her tone had changed, as she didn’t just blurt out whatever she wanted. It seems like we can hold a proper conversation now. This was needed in order to bring the almighty Cat God down to our level, that’s all. I’m a Cat God-chan specialist. Just leave it to me.
“So there’s one thing I’d like to ask.”
“Are you an idiot? A moron? In what world would I ever be willing to hear you out after what you’ve done to me!”
“Huh!? Why not!? What else do you need besides a kiss!?”
“So you are a moron after all! Just leave already!” Cat God-chan drew circles on her stomach, like she was hiding something inside her kimono, and waved her hand.
Weird. I feel like the situation has gotten even more complicated. Why? Maybe the government is to blame. Everyone says that about everything, at least.
“…All the blame lies with you, Senpai. Of course God would be angry after what you did.” Tsukiko-chan announced a player change, let out a sigh, and stepped in front of me.
Now that this match has started to go down in flames, I can leave it to young Tsukiko-chan-senpai! She kneeled down in front of Cat God-chan and lowered her head.
“I will apologize for this ruffian. I’m sorry.”
“Mm… you are… from the Tsutsukakushi…” It appeared as if Cat God-chan was willing to change her attitude depending on the person. “Aren’t you two strange individuals? The container and contents don’t match at all.”
“That is because we came here to talk to you. Please listen to us.”
“Hmm…” Cat God-chan showed half of her face.
With quite a glare, she crossed her arms.
“If that man were to apologize, I might think about it. Honestly, what do you think a God is?”
“Something very precious. However, since I am a follower of the Tsukiko-chan cult, I think that might have caused a misunderstanding.”
“Or so you say, but you’re not doing anything like you did before to your object of worship.” Cat God-chan fixed her kimono and sat on a clothes hamper. “Also, this man seems like an outsider, but he knows an awful lot, does he not?”
“I mean, I’d like to think that I know quite a lot about the Cat God who grants wishes. A lot of things happened, so Tsutsukakushi-san and I are basically in the same boat. That’s why I wanted to confirm how this system works, see?”
“Although we’re in the same boat with barely any progress in our relationship.”
“…Um.” Cat God-chan blinked awkwardly, and her eye color looked oddly familiar. “E-Either way… Suddenly summoning a God to make them give you answers isn’t something I can fully appreciate.”
“You’re the same, Cat God. There’s the curse on the Tsutsukakushi Family, the way you twist people’s wishes, and you don’t explain anything. You just force your own logic down people’s throats.”
“Senpai said all of this, but whenever I try to be assertive, you always pull back. It’s not fair, yes.”
“…Um… What is this…?” Cat God-chan cleared her throat and looked up at me.
My dear ace guardian Goddess Tsukiko-chan-senpai, it seems like this season is going well so far. My fingers are itching for round two.
“Just please take care of your own problems soon…”
“I know.” I nodded.
Being able to overhear something that could easily be picked up by other people is a legendary light novel protagonist skill that I don’t have. And that doesn’t mean that this sudden trend has come to an end, but rather that the girl next to me, still stabbing at my sides, has changed from Tsukiko-chan to TsukiTsukiko4-chan. Our God will not rest until her voice is heard.
“It’ll be fine, Tsukiko-chan!”
“…What will be? I’m totally a-okay right now.”
When I looked at her, our Object of Worship-chan looked at me like she was initiating a debate. Now, what answer is the correct one in a time like this? Of course, the answer is simple. I’ve seen the same problem in the Yokodera-kun notes I know so well! I’m glad I took the Tsukiko-chan seminar!
“You are someone special to me, Tsukiko-chan. Let’s do it like in those love-hate dramas: File a lawsuit and use lawful words against each other, okay?”
“…That is quite possibly the worst proposal I have ever heard.” Tsukiko-chan looked at me with disgust mixed with a bit of resignation and kindness.
It makes me feel like we’ve been a married couple for our whole lives.
“…Well, I’ll leave it at that.” In the end, she gently massaged her puffed-out cheeks.
Perfect communication, hurray!
“Cat God-san, I’m sorry, we must have been a bother, right?”
“You were okay with that? That was enough?”
“Yes. So, let’s continue please.”
“Seriously, what is wrong with you two…?” Cat God-chan continued to blink at us in confusion, and I ignored Tsukiko-chan’s continuous attacks.
Being able to work together even under these circumstances is our strength.
“Sorry about this, Cat God-chan. So then… what was I supposed to do again…?”
“…Enough. A mended lid for a cracked pot, as they say.” She let out a sigh and said some ancient proverb.
I wonder what she means by that? Maybe she’s one of those people who call others ‘idiot couples!’
“Enough? So did you forgive me?”
“Forgive… I just want to go home…” She seemed like she had resigned herself to her fate.
That’s the great ace Tsukiko-chan for you! She managed to end this match perfectly.
“Now then, where should we even start…? Maybe your desires?”
“…Referring to what exactly?” The Cat God asked.
“What goal did you have in mind when haunting the Tsutsukakushi Family, I guess? There’s no way we can resolve everything by not knowing a thing.”
“There is a bit of a discrepancy there. I am not haunting nor possessing anything.” Cat God-chan raised her gaze. “After all, I am something equivalent to an ancestral spirit5 of the Tsutsukakushi Family.” She looked at the roof of the storehouse as she spoke.
*
An ancestral spirit. If you put it simply, it’d be an ancestor.
“Wait, b-but you’re a God.”
“Indeed I am. The Cat Good Bloodline doesn’t mean that you’re haunted by a God. You become one.”
“…What? That makes it sound like you were formerly a human in the Tsutsukakushi Household…”
“What else would it be?” Cat God-chan gave me a cold look, brushing away her hair that had landed on her shoulder.
The black hair looked familiar to me, and so did her sharp gaze. There were many other similarities when I thought about it.
“That’s…” I couldn’t even find any argument to make.
Cat God-chan was a member of the Tsutsukakushi Family. When I thought about it that way, I lost sight of how I should even treat her.
“…When did you become a God?”
“Who knows? It’s been so long that I don’t even remember.”
“Why did you… become a God?”
“No idea. Then again, it’s not like you came here to ask about my past, right?” Cat God-chan shrugged.
It sure doesn’t seem like she’s willing to spill the beans. Maybe she doesn’t like us much, or even feels negatively about us. In order to enter the ancestor route, I might have to reload a previous loop and try from there. The best I can come up with is trying to conquer her in my imaginary dating sim.
“Hm…”
“…Why do I sense a bit of hostility coming from you?”
I can’t help it. These types of people are like super-rare characters in gacha games. I need to gather all the characters in the Tsutsukakushi series. Though I’ve heard from all the nice older boys online that you’ll need a lot of money for your favorite SSR loli character.
And while I think all these random things, I live my life every day just like the present.
Humans and Gods are fundamentally different.
If you turn the arrogant Cat God-chan’s words around, it basically means—that she detests herself. I wonder if someone who became a God can really be happy. Can you really come to terms with becoming a god during your final moments?
“…I’m mostly satisfied.” Cat God-chan said with a deep voice, deep enough to make it hard to guess her emotions. “You continue to protect the family over what feels like an endless amount of time. You pull things closer, and hand things over, and you possess only these two powers. You are stored in the corner of this storehouse, never receiving any reward or praise. Those who are healthy don’t need me. All this time, and even now, I think to myself—Ahh, I’m so satisfied being a God.”
“………”
Can you really call that being satisfied? She was careful with the intonation of her voice, and I couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not. But I at least wanted to know. About the god who had been left alone in this storehouse, about the girl who was given the mission to save someone. Since I was raised in the Yokodera Family, since I was the Youto-kun who wanted to become a hero, I had confidence that I deserved to know.
“Say, after becoming a God, and now, do you really—” I looked at the Cat God’s eyes.
However…
“—Who knows.” She couldn’t have spoken in an icier tone.
Nobody would open their heart simply because you asked. Yokodera Youto isn’t the type of person whom everyone likes. There’s no reason for the people I like to like me back. It’s a shame, but that’s how life works. This is what I’ve learned, and one of the things this story is meant to tell the reader.
“Enough about the Cat God bloodline. If there’s nothing else, I’ll be going home.” The Cat God-chan I like but hates me shrugged her shoulders.
“…Please wait a moment.” Tsukiko-chan spoke up again. “God—you are lying.”
“It’s a quite risky thing to accuse me of misinforming you.”
“You said you’re only watching over us and protecting us. But you didn’t mention the curses you put on other people. My older sister, and my mother, they suffered so early—”
“No, you wait a moment.” The dear ancestor stopped Tsutsukakushi’s rambling with a dubious expression. “You mentioned this before, right? A curse, a price… keep the jokes at that, will you? I am someone who protects the Tsutsukakushi Family. Why would I resent my own children?”
“Eh…?”
“Think about it. Whenever there is a prayer, I draw something in and hand something over. That is the only logic I operate by. It sounds amazing, but I’m powerless for the most part. How would I curse them as you accuse me of?” She spoke like she had no idea what we were talking about.
Tsutsukakushi and I looked at each other. We didn’t doubt that what she was saying was true. It didn’t seem like the Cat God was lying at all. We didn’t even know what to say.
“Let’s suppose that this curse really exists. Well it doesn’t exist at the current time. At the very least, it’s none of my business.”
“But then…”
“Indeed. Everything you did was in vain.”
“Why did we come this far…?”
“Good work so far. It seems like you two will be going home before me!” The Cat God spoke indifferently, as if to magnify our shock.
Like she was the devil himself. It made me agitated.
“Seriously, who even sent you guys back here to attempt something so ridiculous?”
“You?”
“Huh?” Cat God-chan seemed shocked. Her eyes opened wide.
“The future Cat God-chan sent us to this time.”
“…That’s not a joke I can appreciate.” I could see her white nape from beneath the kimono.
It was worryingly white.
“….”
“……”
I met gazes with Cat God-chan. It might have been subconsciously, but her lips were quivering. Her face turned beet red, making it seem like she was angry, or annoyed. The instant I stood up, Cat God-chan jumped at me.
“Wait wait wait, wait! Unbelievable! What did you just try to do!?”
“Since we were going nowhere, I thought that I’d push you down for now.”
“What do you mean ‘for now’!? Who do you think I am!?”
“Cute, that’s what.”
“I’m not cute at all! That doesn’t explain your actions at all! There is no logical connection! What kind of distance is this!?” Cat God-chan raised both her hands, trying to maintain the distance between the two of us.
It’s cute how desperate she is. It makes me want to push her down and win her over even faster.
“You really are weird! The way your actions and words don’t correlate at all are off!” Cat God-chan started screaming with a beet-red face.
Tsukiko-chan quickly tried to step in to mediate again.
“Um, I would like to deeply apologize for Senpai acting like a pervert again.”
“…I don’t see Tsukiko-chan!”
“You’d better apologize right away!”
“Could you be quiet for a moment, Senpai?”
“Yes…” I was forced to shut up.
“God, or should I say my ancestor, what Senpai said isn’t wrong.” She looked directly at the Cat God. “We were told about this curse by the future Cat God-san. What exactly did she mean by that? Is there a misunderstanding going on between the two of you””
“…Neither of us is wrong. I wasn’t lying at all.”
“So what is going on?”
“…How pitiful for you not to even realize.” Cat God-chan muttered quietly, looking especially at me, but also giving Tsukiko-chan a glance.
Or she might well have been looking at something else in the room.
“Everyone is nothing but a tool.”
“……” I see. That’s quite the profound statement.
Now, everyone, did you get what Cat God-chan was playing at? I sure didn’t. It sure is bothersome that some people try to act all profound and mysterious when explaining things.
“Don’t beat around the bush. Explain it to us directly.”
“This is why ignorant fools are… I imagine you just weren’t educated properly. I don’t even want to imagine how your par—”
“Don’t say stuff like that! Right?!”
“Hm? Wait? Why are you suddenly getting so close?”
After looping for around 100 times, we’ve formed a deep relationship. Why do you seem so scared now? I’ll lick you some more until you understand!
“Ugyaaah! Not again!”
Since I had gotten serious, Cat God-chan got teary-eyed once more. I’ll be honest, crybabies like her sure are cute. It appears that she’s strong against humans, but weak against perverts. This is like some game where characters have attributes and different strengths and weaknesses. Of course, the Pervert is weak against the Human6.
“Yet again, and again, and again, and again, you’re a pervert, pervert, pervert, pervert.”
This is where the tragedy began.
*
At the end of a long lecture, Cat God-chan blew her nose.
“I exist to grant wishes.” She said. “It is simple to rewrite the world according to the wish. To an automatic level, if you understand.”
“……” I remained silent.
Even if there were a phenomenon that appeared in the future which doesn’t exist now, the Cat God didn’t create it out of her own desire. That’s what she’s trying to say. But then…
“…So the curse is something someone wished for?”
In my stead, Tsukiko-chan posed the question. With a quivering voice, feeling like she had to carry someone’s responsibility. Cat God-chan looked at her for a moment, and closed her eyes for a moment. Like a doctor, she spoke with a pained tone.
“Hey… when did you hear of that curse?”
“When? It was… right before we were sent here.”
“Not from me, right? Who was it that told you in that world?” She looked up at me with transparent eyes.
I felt a dull impact, like a hole had opened inside of me, and I started thinking. About who I heard the curse of short-lived-ness from. Even before the Cat God herself, it felt like I had heard it from Emi’s Papa and the hooded man as well. I can’t remember. But I still have to think about it. Who would wish a curse upon the Tsutsukakushi Family?
Inside my vague field of view, I saw a few books stored inside the storehouse bookshelves. Picture books made up a great portion of them. The Taihei Public Records—Someone had read this a long time ago. In the Yokodera-kun notes’ second volume, it says that a certain member of the track-and-field-club told me about it during club as well. If the records are correct, this was the first time I’d heard of the curse related to the Tsutsukakushi Family. So did she wish for this—?
“That’s impossible…”
…Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi would not wish for such a curse, is what Tsukiko-chan meant to tell me. She denied it with her feelings alone.
Alright, let’s assume that. Who did the Steel King hear this from? Who had been told such a lie?
I glanced over at Tsutsukakushi, and she looked at me with meek eyes.
“……”
“……”
Neither of us could say anything, just seeking for the truth inside each other’s gazes—The truth that was too inconvenient for the both of us.
*
After we were practically chased out of the storehouse by Cat God-chan, we walked down the pathway, and we heard something like a bell sound coming from across the path. After we reluctantly made it back to the main house, we discovered that this sound was originating from the old Tsutsukakushi Household’s phone.
I accepted the phone call, and I thought to myself about how this tool would soon lose its purpose in the passage of time.
“Hello…?” When I responded, a familiar voice filled my ear.
“Youto! How many times do you think I’ve called!?”
It was Mom. The mother of Yokodera Youto.
“You really only ever do whatever you want. You don’t even visit your older sister. You just fool around. You’d better go to school tomorrow!”
“……”
“The postoperative didn’t work out too well, so your older sister has to be hospitalized for a bit longer. This is a hard time for all of us, so don’t make me worry any more, okay…?” I could hear how Mom was tearing up.
During this time, Mom was highly unstable when it came to her emotions, I think. Although it’s way worse in the future.
“……Senpai.” Tsutsukakushi stood next to me, probably listening to the faint words from my Mom as she gave me a dubious gaze.
Yeah, that’s right. I returned a nod. I know how the future will turn out, so there’s nothing to be concerned about.
“You always act like you don’t know what’s going on and just do whatever you feel like.”
Mom’s words were off as always, but it didn’t matter in the end. The result was correct. I had been in the same hospital earlier today. I could have easily made my way over to visit her, but I didn’t. I avoided seeing her face.
“She’s your one and only older sister, so why? You don’t want to see her? That’s not true, right?”
It’s true, I thought as I closed my eyes. I don’t want to visit the children’s ward. Why is it always about her—?
“Don’t just keep quiet. Say something. Come on!”
“Annoying.”
Someone who should not have been there took the receiver from me.
“Ah, sorry, that was to one of my daughters. Yes, yes, yes. Thanks for earlier. That’s right, he seems to be reflecting on it. I’ll tell him. Yes. I will make sure, so if you would excuse me—” She gave a bothered greeting and hung up.
As if the sound of the call from before had just been an illusion, silence reigned.
“Seriously, how bothersome can you be…?” She averted her gaze and let out a sigh.
Along with her idle complaints and grumbling, she put her flat palm on my head. I’m not all too sure, but I think she’s trying to rub my head. My field of view shook as a result, but I forced out a voice nonetheless.
“Why are you here…?”
“Just because.” Tsukasa-san shrugged.
1 Japanese Society for Rights of Authors, Composers and Publishers
2 The original quote is from Fuzukawa Yukichi, and uses ‘man’ instead of ‘chest’.
3 This one’s a tough one. The kanji for cloud and mud written together result in 雲泥, and Tsukiko says 雲泥の差 which means ‘Wide difference’
4 A wordplay on her normal name + Tsuki (stab)
5 A collective of ancestral spirits which have lost their individualities; an ancestor deified as a god
6 Written as Tsukiko-chan
CClaw Translations 