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Truth, yet Incomprehensible
A gust of wind raised a cloud of dust on the courtyard, covering this after-school atmosphere in dirt. I sat on the small stairs leading down to the sports grounds from the school building and observed the youthful club activities of the sports club members as I rubbed my hands together.
There is the opinion that some people hold that states: Winter is boring because the girls are wearing too much. However, that is nothing short of blasphemy, and you should change your view on this matter. Indeed, a naked girl is currently wearing unladylike clothing while running!
If you think about it that way, doesn’t this completely overthrow anything you’ve ever believed? It gets you super excited, right?! It is wonderful every day! Ah, yes. I’m fine, I took my medicine today, thank you.
From these stairs, I could observe the entirety of the school grounds. The fully-naked clothes-wearing club members were kicking the ball during one game, throwing another ball during another, hitting each other with the balls, and such. In the far distance behind these was the track-and-field club, currently performing their ladder training. After all, the marathon tournament is around the corner.
Hit by the cold breeze, you jog alongside the Tama River, a prize and applause awaiting the winner. It’s such a wonderful event. As for our club, we’re of course aiming for an average runtime, and maybe for a miracle. Then again, track-and-field has lots of disciplines, such as spear-throwing, shot put, discus, sprint, high jump, triple jump, short-distance sprint, etc. etc. etc., so not every club member is trying to win the marathon. If I had to give an example, not every boy my age imagines the girls around him naked all the time.
However, there’s also some who will agree with me in the sense that a cute Kouhai girl is totally naked beneath her clothes. Just as you and I are, and everyone else.
‘All the boys are perverts. Just look at Senpai. You can tell.’
Of course, someone got the wrong idea about this. How troublesome. A rotten orange has to be removed from society, is it? Anyway, with a ‘We’re the track-and-field club, so everyone is going to run’ kind of logic, all of them are currently practicing with their hearts ablaze. But even so…
“Ah, again…”
A hard ball drew a beautiful parabola in the air, and I raised my gaze to watch. It flew over the batting net, soaring down onto the ground like a predator aiming for its prey. Every time a voice of warning rang out, the practice of the track-and-field club was put on hold. Although they were a bit further away from the approximate landing zone, they had to evacuate nonetheless.
Even while I watched them practice, the amount of balls that flew towards them already required two hands’ fingers to count.
The hard ball rolled towards the small stairs I was sitting on.
“Sorryyyy! And thank you!” A bald baseball club member came to pick it up.
The track-and-field members all watched it with expressions like they had bitten down on an insect. One of them even moved away from the group, walking towards me.
“…Hey.”
I could hear a cold, disgusted voice. A short ponytail waved behind the person’s back, and she crossed her arms below her well-endowed chest. She had a glare like the sharp gaze of a fox. Indeed, it was none other than the next club president of the track-and-field club, Maimaki Mai, also known as MaiMai-san. It might be possible to fully depict every beginning and ending point of her indecent body hidden beneath that jersey, but when I tilt the scales between my unlimited desires and my friendship towards her, I will swallow my tears and put an end to it here. Because we are friends.
Said Maimaki faced the baseball club member, giving me no attention whatsoever. Instead, she directed this glare at the club member.
“Will you stop it already? You suck way too much.” She finally spat.
It’s not like it matters, but being told that I suck like this somehow makes me feel excited more than anything. I can’t help but imagine waking up in the morning as she fixes her roughed-up shirt under the sheets, lying next to me. Add that ‘You~ suck~’ to it, with some narrowed eyes, face on her palm, and I’d probably go crazy. But I won’t! Because we are friends.
“You’re tirelessly shooting your stuff over here. What’s your plan?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry…”
“Imagine how we feel. We can’t practice at all for our marathon.”
“Terribly sorry…”
“I’m out of patience here. Even a parent would lose patience here. That’s how it is. You get it?”
“Yes, terribly sorry…” The boy tasked to pick up the ball showed a dejected reaction, and he lowered his head several times.
The acne on the side of his nose made him look like a middle schooler. Well, it’s not like he’s going to hit a homerun in just one year. I don’t think pushing him into the ground like this is the best idea.
“MaiMai, why not leave it at that?”
“…Usu?”
When I spoke up, the boy looked up at me with a bit of shock in his face. He must have been too busy apologizing that he didn’t check his surroundings at all.
“Hm…” At the same time, MaiMai-san let out a snort, like she had completely noticed my presence earlier but had chosen to willingly ignore me.
Her face first looked distorted in anger, but that finally simmered down as well.
“…Basically, you have to work harder from here on out. Get better.”
“Yes, thank you!”
“Well, as long as you get it.” She averted her gaze.
Maimaki Mai, also known as Tsunderu-san. She acts tough and rough on the outside, but has that sweet spot on the inside.
“Thanks, MaiMai. You were scolding him for the sake of the team, right?”
“Shut up, YouYou. I’ll get pregnant just from your voice.”
“………”
I was just thanking her, but I got insulted instead. Weird… How can she hold back in front of the baseball club member, but the moment she’s talking to me all her perverted knowledge comes gushing out?
“…Hm?” The acne boy looked back and forth between the two of us, like he was trying to figure out our relationship.
“Oh, he’s asking you something.”
“Don’t wrap the first-years up into your perverted talk, YouYou. You damned quick-shot mega-drill bastard.”
“You’re clearly the bigger pervert here! When did I say anything like one?!”
“When you started with that whole ‘You suck <3’ thing.”
“How… h-how did you know!?”
“Anyone would be able to tell. Don’t think you’ll be forgiven just because you don’t say it out loud. What? You’re going to let it out inside the member of the baseball club? You really have limitless lust, don’t you?”
“Don’t make something up only to be disgusted at it right away! Also, can you be any more rude?! You’re wrapping him up in this! Look, he’s confused too!”
“Yes! Usu, usu!” The boy shook his shoulders.
I couldn’t tell if he was laughing or just troubled.
“—Thanks a bunch!” He picked up the ball and bowed towards me.
His big round koala-like eyes made it seem like he was smiling.
“Yeah…” That looked like a great face, I thought.
“—You’re late, first-year bastard!” A roaring voice and loud footsteps approached us.
The person who appeared was a muscular boy holding a bat. The face he had reminded me of a gorilla you’d see in a zoo. In response, the koala boy’s back jolted upright.
“Usu! Sorry!”
“Don’t add more oil to the fire! Get back to your practice!”
“Usu! Understood!”
“Come on! Run faster! Dash and get that point, you moron!”
I could pick up some of the words he was saying. Maybe he’s been more localized as a third-year. Communicating with other cultures, in this case with the baseball club, is important after all.
“Usu! Dash, sorry!”
“One more point! One more point!”
“…Usu!” The acne boy ran as fast as he could.
With that, the Gorilla-senpai was about to walk away himself. He must be the next candidate to hit a home run.
“Hold on. I wasn’t done yet.”
MaiMai called out to him.
“Huh?”
“Can you stop shooting all the balls over here?”
“Huuuuh?” Gorilla-senpai puffed out his chest, looking as solid as drums.
“Can’t you come up with better practice? That’s all I’m asking for.”
“Better practice? Who you? Speak English, idiot.” The Gorilla-senpai let out a snort.
Judging from his reactions and the bilingual standard of the baseball club, he seemed to have trouble understanding the basics of what MaiMai was saying.
“You’re calling me an idiot? Go ahead then. It’s not like I care…”
“Annoying. If you got something to complain about, practice another time, uh!”
“What was that? Try saying that one more time.”
“Don’t make me repeat myself. I don’t remember everything I’m saying, okay?!”
“Why are you drumming on your chest again? I get that you’re trying to make a statement here, but go back to your forest, would you?”
“I’m telling ya to shut up and focus on your own practice, you track-and-field guys!”
“…After pushing us into a corner like that…” MaiMai bit her lip in anger.
She must be struggling to hold a civilized conversation. Her shoulders were heaving up and down. So this is where the war begins, huh? I thought from the opposite shore.
Our school’s school yard is fairly small. Although it’s not as small as a cat’s forehead, it doesn’t nearly have enough space for all the sports clubs to practice after school. Of course, this means that you need to regulate the times of the various sports clubs, but that rule has not been written down, and nor does the school have a concrete schedule.
In other words, the sports clubs are asked to negotiate between themselves. However, this is what happens when the advisor doesn’t join in. Just like how it was during the field trip, the students have a lot of freedom to decide. For better or worse, that is.
The problem though is that more than half of the sports clubs’ presidents are muscleheads who can only think about themselves. Hey now, no insulting Steel-san. Anyway, just like there’s always a harsh battle with the distribution of sports clubrooms in the club building, the same could be said here. However, our track-and-field club never has had to fight such an existential battle, because we had the undefeatable king of the Savannah with us.
Unparalleled in all the heavens, strict around everyone, she would crush any weaklings who dared to object. When you attack, you get blown off, and when you run away, she’ll chase you. Offer your right cheek for a slap, she’ll kick your left—This was the general perception of the Steel King.
Ever since last summer, our beloved Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi had finally started laughing and showing her affection to others. The other club members started to grow more attached, but on the outside, she still was the absolute ruler the other clubs feared.
No matter how much of a ruffian club it may have been, nobody dared oppose the Steel King. She was the one who decided how the sports grounds would be used. With this, peace was guaranteed. However, what will happen once this King retires because of her entrance exam studies?
Of course, the peace of the jungle was nullified, and another survival of the fittest broke out.
*
Conflict is supposed to be solved with logical arguments. As for the battle between Gorilla-senpai and MaiMai Fox, it continued for much longer.
“Look up at the sky, track-and-field! It’s clear, isn’t it?! We’ve gotta use this time to practice! You can’t do that when it’s raining and the ground is a mess.”
“What about it? The track-and-field club has the same problem.”
“Huuuuh? You can still throw your spears when it’s raining! Running you can do anywhere!”
“You are free to think what you want, but don’t force your opinions onto us. We’re using the sports grounds because we’re allowed to.”
“Shut up already! Listen carefully! The blue sky is our domain!” Gorilla-senpai raised both of his hands to display the blue sky above him.
I guess he finally awoke to his animalistic instincts. Also, I keep calling him Gorilla-senpai, but he’s actually in the same year as me. There’s no deeper meaning to me calling him that. Then again, it does sound like I’m making fun of him.
“—Someone stop him already.”
“Scary…”
“Yeah, sorry!”
“He’s scary, yeah!”
“God he pisses me off so much.”
“Shut up.”
A group of people had gathered around the two. The rough-looking baseball club members surrounded the peaceful track-and-field club members, creating a heated atmosphere. Hey, can I join in as well? Why am I not allowed in this?
“…If the club president were here, this wouldn’t have happened…”
Someone from the track-and-field club muttered these words. They were right. When the Steel King was around, situations like this never happened. When the club president stepped back, everyone else bared their fangs at the club. The days when the track-and-field club could use the sports grounds were now constantly changing as well, which caused dissatisfaction in the club.
At this rate, it won’t take long for MaiMai to lose her position in some second Soviet-like revolution. Well, at this point in time, it wouldn’t be much of a revolution. A grand slaughtering of the track-and-field club was more likely to happen.
“Hey! If you got any complaints, why don’t you say them?!”
As if to follow Gorila-senpai’s steps, other baseball club members joined in, growling. What is this, some sea lion concert?
The sky might have been blue, but the wind blowing past us was fairly strong, signaling the gravity of this situation. For the poor and innocent track-and-field club members, this was a severe situation. And also, I’m not allowed in this at all. I really am watching this from the opposite shore. I wouldn’t mind if the wind blew the fire over here, you know?
“…!”
Suddenly, I felt a forceful gaze. Up until now, MaiMai had tried her best to ignore me, but now she finally glanced at me, if only for a brief second. She immediately averted her gaze again, standing face-to-face with the Gorilla-senpai, starting another debate. I wonder what that just now was about? I acted like I was thinking about it for a second, but—
“—MaiMai’s having trouble~”
“Ahiii!?”
The sensation of a cold palm touched my neck. I jolted up and found Cozy-sama standing behind me. Without me realizing it, she had covered me from behind, her hand touching my neck. If this was a battle, I would have died right there.
“I’ve been following you ever since classes ended~ What are you doing here if you’re not participating in club practice?”
“Observing… checking it out… I guess? Why did you follow me, anyway?”
“The swimming club doesn’t have practice today~”
“I don’t see the connection here.”
“Stop focusing on what’s not important~” Cozy-sama’s hair shook gently.
Her smile was as lovely and charming as always. Her sleepy eyes tempted me to let my guard down, and the slender fingertips reaching out from her sleeves looked like they couldn’t even kill an ant. What heartfelt girl she is!
“I think MaiMai’s angry face is pretty great~ It’s cute, but I’m starting to feel bad for her.” Cozy-sama said as she poked my neck with the tip of her finger.
I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, but that seems awfully close to the carotid artery.
“Awww man, it’d be great if there were some Prince Charming around who could save our dear princess from her pinch~ Just kidding~”
“…Okay!”
“Ohh, Ouji-kun. You’re motivated, huh?” Cozy-sama shook her long sleeves, patting me a couple times.
The second she managed to sneak up on me like this, I had no more room to argue. And thus, Prince Charming saved the Princess, and they lived happily ever after—
“Hey hey, you all!” I stood up from the small staircase, screaming with as much force in my voice as I could muster. “All eyes on me!”
“Usu?”
“Um.”
“Usu!”
“Ah.”
“Yes!”
The people from the baseball club all glared up at me.
“—”
All of them grew silent, like they were waiting for my speech. It’s like I’m up on a stage, met with the dubious gazes of the baseball club members. At the same time, the members of the track-and-field club were seeking help, looking at me like I was their messiah. I am the superstar of the track-and-field club, descended from above to tell you what you need to hear! Amen!
“So, everyone, what I want to say is—” I cleared my throat, and…
“It’s probably something perverted, right?”
“It has to be, right?”
“Damned pervert.”
“Perverted bastard.”
“Perverted Prince (LOL).”
These bastards utterly destroyed my good intentions with a harsh wave of insults. What hurt the most though was that these voices came from the track-and-field club members. Maybe they weren’t actually asking me for help. Maybe they just wanted everyone here to shut up, me included.
Well, I can’t blame them. Thanks to the field trip, the courageous legend of Yokodera-kun had been spread all over the school. I guess people looked at the track-and-field club weirdly now because they harbored a pervert. Thanks to that, I still wasn’t allowed back.
It’s not like I was just playing around. I had been trying to improve my image by cleaning the hallways, but since that didn’t work out so well, I figured I’d at least watch over the club from afar. Normally I’d feel embarrassed about this, but I’ve lost my feeling of shame, so I’m feeling great!
“Outsiders should stay out of this!”
“Right! Right!”
“Leave!”
“Osu!”
“Perverts should die!” “Usu!”
“Moron!” “Yeah!”
“Idiot!” “Ace!”
“Trash!” “Pass!”
“Off you go!” “Off you go!” “Off you go!” “Off you go!” “Off you go!” “Off you go!” “Off you go!” (Rest omitted)
These guys started chanting and declaring that I was a pervert, which made me feel like they had suddenly built an alliance against me.
“Then, I’ll just be on my merry way…” I stepped back, tail between my legs.
After the enemy of the alliance disappeared, the members of both clubs went back to their respective training. Alright, peace has returned. It’s important to have a common enemy, yeah. Public enemy number one, yeah!
“It pains me to say it, but the incompetent Yokodera has returned!”
“……That was really hard to watch…”
When I announced my return like a soldier returning from the jungle, I found Cozy-sama shaking her head. She looked at me like I was mold on the back of an insect that had crawled on top of the rotten food inside the opened polyethylene bucket ready to be emptied into the burnable trash. However, she was still smiling, so I don’t think she actually feels that way!
“……”
I won’t believe it!
“………”
I’m not changing my opinion here!
“……Really, what a good-for-nothing you are~”
“O-Okay?”
“How helpless of a boy are you?”
I’m glad my belief didn’t break. Cozy-sama gently rubbed my head, an expression filling her face like she was dealing with a small child. Yay, Cozy-sama’s service time! Goo goo ga ga!
“I know that it must have been tough being fired at from opposing shores, but why couldn’t you be more serious?”
“No no no, I was super duper mega mach max speed serious there.”
“No lying, or I will snip snap cut it off~” Cozy-sama lifted two fingers, making the shape of a pair of scissors, opening and closing it.
She pulled on my bangs. I wonder what she’s going to cut off? She must be talking about the hair, right?
“You don’t fight back at all, Ouji-kun…” I was entranced by Cozy-sama’s existence, and it really felt like I was being healed for good.
“—We’re restarting the practice. Let’s go.”
I heard the distant voice of Maimaki carrying over towards us. The club members all gave their responses. I think it’s a well-controlled club. Even after being faced with a rebellion such as that, Maimaki showed no hesitation or confusion. She was accepted by her fellow classmates, and admired by her Kouhais.
For a moment, it seemed like I could feel MaiMai looking over here. But, as the former rising star of the club, I really didn’t want to exchange a gaze.
You can’t compare a meteorite crashing to the earth to the stars in the night sky. Now that I think about it, I’ve really lost my position, haven’t I?
*
The chime rang, signaling the end of school. With this, today’s club-watching came to an end as well. After being released by Cozy-sama, I had turned into a girl, myself—or rather my hairstyle did.
After putting my hair back to normal, I made my way to the bicycle parking area at the back gate. Since this was located in the shadow of the school building, no sun reached this place, and I could see puddles of mud and dirty water. Both mind and body were already met with the cold winter days, tiresome as it could be, but today something was different. A single familiar girl appeared, where normally nobody would stand there.
“Hafuu…” She let out a white breath, burying her red nose into her scarf as she leaned against a pillar.
She stared at her feet, curling her toes like she was trying to gather warmth.
“Um…?”
When I called out to her, the girl’s face shot up.
“Ah, Yokodera! Is your club practice over?” Azuki Azusa’s face lit up when she realized it was me.
I felt like I could see an imaginary tail wagging behind her.
“Yeah, I’m done. I guess?”
“Really?! Then let’s go home together!”
Indeed, she looked like a puppy who had been tasked to wait outside the store, her leash tied around a pole. Would she have waited here for all of eternity if I went home without my bike? I guess she would have had an Azukou statue1 placed here in her honor. However, I’m not her owner, and Azuki Azusa isn’t a puppy. We are merely acquaintances who have exchanged contact information, who make occasional exchanges.
“Sorry, did you not get my last message?”
“Which one?”
“I told you that I’d be running late and that you can go home without me.”
“I did see it. But I had some work to do in the library, and I was about to head home myself. It was just a coincidence… Yeah, like a whale appearing during a whale watching tour!” Azuki Azusa blathered on and on with a bashful smile as she lined up next to me.
Why would someone who doesn’t come to school by bike come to the bike parking lot? The mysteries deepened, but I feel like I won’t understand much even if I try to uncover it. Or rather, having a good facade never hurts. Of course, I am very much aware of this.
“—Eeek!?” Right as we left the parking lot, Azuki Azusa let out a shriek.
From the shadow of the school building, a funky horse costume appeared. Started by Azuki Azusa’s scream, the horse twitched as well, shaking its long head.
“Isn’t this…?”
If memory serves me right, it was a costume I had seen during Tsutsukakushi’s birthday party, a costume that belongs to the children’s welfare club. At the same time, I heard a familiar voice from inside the costume.
“Hawawawa! I’m sorry to have surprised you like that!”
It was one of the seven sheeps. Sadly, I didn’t know them well enough to tell them apart, so I have no clue which girl we’re dealing with.
“Um…”
“I was busy practicing for the play, I’m sorry!” The girl wearing the horse costume ran away, not realizing that it was us, either.
“Oh right, they talked about some event for new members.” Azuki Azusa nodded to herself in understanding.
Yeah, I heard something similar from the club members when we were preparing the party for Tsutsukakushi. Though they might not be doing the exact same play for it, I bet the costumes at least are the same. A horse costume has a lot of versatility, after all.
“We’re going to change years soon, huh? Everyone is growing.”
I heard Azuki Azusa’s nonchalant mutter, which sent a sharp pain down my chest. I decided not to think too deeply about it, though.
“Alright, let’s do our best, too!” came from my side.
We bumped our fists together. After leaving the parking lot and walking down the route home from school, I waited for her to speak. Finally, she took a breath, and I directed my gaze towards her.
“Yokodera, do you have a favorite Western artist?”
“Not really. I do like Kantoku-san though.”
“You like contacts? Is your eyesight getting worse?”
“Ah, nevermind! Anyway, why do you ask?”
“There’s a national Western arts museum in Ueno. They have works of Impressionists such as… Monet? Manet? I don’t remember his name.”
“Huh. I’m not too familiar with Impressionists…”
To be more accurate, I’m more familiar with girls who have big round eyes and no z-axis. I wonder what magazine I should get next. Do you think they will hang up pictures like these in another hundred years or so? I’d love to visit museums in the future if that’s the case.
“Really? Because I’m the same! The thing is, Papa gave me two tickets, so why don’t we take a look at this unfamiliar world like Indian elephants arriving at a green grass plain?”
“Sounds fun. How about Sunday next week?”
“Ah, that’s Tsuu-chan Day, so I don’t think I can do it that day.”
“Hm? What day again?”
I heard an unfamiliar term appear suddenly in the middle of our average conversation.
“N-Nevermind! The following Sunday is my day, so that might be better!”
“Your day?”
Apparently there’s variations now? Tsuu-chan Day and A-chan Day. I understand the naming scheme, but what’s the importance behind it?
“I-It’s nothing! Nothing at all!”
“I highly doubt that.”
“It’s a secret! I’ll protect my secret with Tsuu-chan like a beaver protecting its dam! I’ve won this, so I will keep it!”
“…Now that you mention it, during lunch today when I saw Tsutsukakushi in the hallway, she ran away in the opposite direction. It’s like she’s avoiding me.”
“Because today is my day! W-Wait, no! That’s not what I mean!” Azuki Azuki panicked as she dug her own grave, furiously shaking her head.
I could figure out that the Demon Lord of Darkness and Pure Angel had come to some kind of secret agreement. How exciting. I feel like some diplomatic symbol of peace being given back and forth.
“Uu… Tsuu-chan told me to keep it a secret… Because you might not like the idea of it… Did you figure it out?” Azuki Azusa looked at me with watery eyes, but I just shrugged.
“No, not at all.”
“R-Really? Thank goodness, ehehe…” Azuki Azusa put her hand over her mouth, giggling.
I joined in. The conversation ended there. We both had ended it together. Trying to figure out the back side of one’s facade, or having it figured out already, has no meaning at all. In the end, youth itself is about dealing with facades and honest feelings. If you’d like to read more about this topic, there is a series with around 7 volumes that deals with this topic. Running wild and being confused is part of youth, don’t you agree?
“Then I’ll see you at school tomorrow! I’ll have to go thank Papa! I’m sure he’ll be happy!”
We split up at the bus stop, and the entire time until we got there, I could see Azuki Azusa’s tail wagging. She smiled so happily. This filled my empty heart, making me soar into the sky like a balloon filled with helium. Super energetic Azukiman’s March! Remember the joys of life, beauties and love! …God that sounds awful.
You can’t make a girl cry—I had been warned about this before. That’s why I have to do whatever I can.
“The trip to the arts museum is the week after next, meaning…” I checked the schedule on my phone.
I still have a free schedule this week. In other words, I have time to finish what I have to. Spare time is sin. Hard labor is my hobby, my blessing. The biggest problem in my list of troubles undoubtedly are Steel-san’s entrance exams. How can I fix the attitude of that lion who has lost her confidence and glory? It’s much more than an academic problem, it’s more like it’s a problem with her mental health.
‘This has to be a problem of some sort. Or rather, a dream. It has to be…’
So said the person in question.
‘Once spring comes around, I am a university student. Once I wake up, I’ll be at the campus together with my peers, discussing the rebellion against the Nyugen lords and the Trinh lords in the historical sense. In the afternoon, we’ll drink tea at the cafeteria, where I am the Onee-san who watched over her little sister’s university exam studies…’
In short, she’s running away from reality.
‘Please listen to us, Nee-san.’ I’ve seen Tsutsukakushi call out to her like this many times. ‘There is a university here in this town as well. They still take written applications, and I have to say, I’ve been admiring the people attending this university for a while now.’
‘Hm?’
‘Watching the people there pass through the school gate makes my heart race. If you were to become a student there, I might just go crazy.’
‘W-What did you say!? More details, please!’
‘I can’t say any more embarrassing words than that…’
She was doing her best to hold a carrot in front of Steel-san. She didn’t go into great detail, letting Steel-san use her imagination as much as possible. Tsukiko-chan is a genius.
‘This is a dream… Or is it reality? …But studying… a dream…’
Thanks to that, Steel-san went to the library each day to study, and her reference books were filled with pages of notes. This is where the real battle begins. This parental love—No, this junior heart of mine—is telling me to support her even through all the hardships. I… I have to be the one who does something.
Using all sorts of methods, referring to many connections at my disposal, even my own skill I offered… At the end of my blood, sweat, and tears, both the sun and the moon remained hidden behind clouds.
*
The morning of the following Saturday was a constant state of flux between raining and not. Thin mist covered the tops of the zelkova trees, and the street’s stone pavement was drenched. As I stood beneath the shrine gate, the rain started again, so I opened up the umbrella I had closed moments ago.
Around the vicinity of the Kidate Shrine, I couldn’t hear a single bird. Earlier, during our first shrine visit, the path up to the shrine was full, and yet now no other person was in sight. Only the wind howled through the area.
“It should be soon, huh…?”
When I checked the time, I saw that it was thirty minutes past 12pm. Straining my ears, I could hear the distant roar of the Italian sports car. He’ll be here soon. He—Emi’s father—is one of the greatest mysteries and weirdest people this world has to offer. After he consistently and persistently called me day after day, I finally planned this appointment.
Of course, I didn’t call him here to ask for Emanuella-san’s hand in marriage. It’s not like I would need to do that anyway, since Emi and I match on both a physical and a mental level, so we don’t need to care about getting permission from her parents, nor about society’s rules.
Anyway.
“…I need some advice on something.”
It was a shot in the dark, but I wanted to hear his opinion on Steel-san, wondering if there was some way to solve her problem, seeing that he was a university teacher, albeit a rotten one.
‘I should be able to do something about that.’
‘Really!?’
‘Leave it to me. I have a great idea.’
With these two responses, Emi Papa gave his explanation on the phone. That being said, what exactly can he do? Even if he won’t get her in from the back door, maybe there’s some connections for a sports scholarship, or he can barely get her in on legal grounds?
A university professor’s influence sure is amazing. I can smell the debacle from a mile away. This doesn’t have anything to do with the current problem, but I’ve heard that in the world of teachers and professors, especially at night, there are often certain events between the professors and their (often student) helpers. During the day, you have a conversation of this and that with the female student, and at night you teach them about the world of adults—It really feels like the best of both worlds.
This being the case, now I’m waiting here at the Kidate Shrine. I had considered just meeting up at the university, but seemed to prefer this location. After a bit of time passed after the Lambowhatever’s sounds came to a halt in the distance, Emi Papa arrived from the small path leading to the parking lot.
“Hiiiii! Yokodera boy! What’s up, shape up?” He wore a plain coat, and flashed me a smile as he walked towards me.
Yet again, I’m having trouble figuring out what language he’s trying to communicate with.
“Very sorry for making you wait. Oop!”
“Wha!?”
He toppled over, almost blown away by a strong breeze, and wall-slammed me against the pillar of the shrine gate.
“Um…”
“I’m sorry, sorry, rub rub…”
“…Huh?”
Emi Papa carried me in his arms. He showed no signs of moving away anytime soon. Maybe he couldn’t because of the strong wind. Our noses were almost touching, and he was close enough for me to feel his breath as gazed into my eyes.
“Your face is a bit too close…”
“I heard that phrase in a movie before. Did you see it by any chance?”
“I didn’t. Is it a horror movie?”
“The protagonist is played by the super adorable genius child actor Thomas Horn. His shy smile makes my mouth drool, really. Wow!? I just realized, you quite resemble Thomas, my dear Yokodera-kun.”
“Huh.”
Who cares about that? I came here to talk about Steel-san, so could we skip this prologue? It’s not like me looking like some famous actor will do anything.
“Then, let me ask you something.” Emi’s Papa approached my face. “Did you come here alone as promised?”
…Wait, why would he confirm that first thing…? What benefit is there in it for him? I’m scared!
“Alright, then come here, shy boy.” He finally released my body and started pulling me by the hand.
We headed through the shrine gate and further away from civilization.
“Um…”
“Come on, come on.” Emi Papa’s arm strength was quite formidable.
It’s like he was making sure his prey wouldn’t escape a second time… Dear God, why did I ask him of all people for help? I feel like I’ll be eaten before I can help Steel-san. Also, why do I have to be this worried, god damn it? I’m a boy. This is surreal.
“Come on, come on!” He repeated himself and tightened the strength in his arm.
When I looked around us, I couldn’t find a single other person. Nobody would come out here on such a rainy and cold day. In other words, it would just be the two of us. No matter what we did, nobody could save me.
“……”
“Come on, come on, I have a great idea!”
He said it a third time. This time even more forcefully. Save me, Tsukiko-chan! Protect Yokodera-kun’s chastity! Use poison to fight poison! …No no no, it was just a play on words. I don’t think Tsutsukakushi is poison or anything. If anything, she’s the antidote! Yeah! …Or I guess there’s no antidote against her.
However, as you would expect, the strongest Demon Lord-chan did not appear, leaving it to myself to break free. Sensing this to be an emergency situation, I put my hand into my pocket, and booted up a recording application on my phone. There’s been a few times when girls took this measure when I talked to them, but I never thought the day would come when I would need to use it.
Now that I was on the defensive side for once, I can really tell. It takes way too long for that app to boot up! Is this how MaiMai and Emi felt when talking to me!?
“…Yokodera-kun.”
While we walked towards the main shrine, Emi’s Papa turned towards me with a calm voice.
“Emi has been in your care, has she not? She’s told me a lot about you.”
“Eh, ah, sure…”
“She’s made you quite cautious of me, it seems, but you don’t have to worry. I’m not suspicious. Can’t you tell?”
“Ahaha…”
Sadly, I can’t tell in the slightest. But his voice seemed kind at least. It was a dandy voice of a gentleman. Judging from his appearance…Well, how do I even describe him? I wonder why, when I’m trying to depict it, I’m having trouble doing so. Because of his eccentric manner of speaking, he left quite an impactful impression, but now that I think about it, he’s quite featureless.
If I were to try and paint a picture of him, the entire canvas would most likely look black, not allowing me to see its composition or intent.
“Then let’s get right to the main topic.” Emi’s Papa put one foot on the stone stairs and came to a halt.
“Ah, please! What kind of plans do you have about Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi’s entrance exam…”
“—Is that really it?”
“Huh?”
“Is that really what you wish for? Are you not actually averting your eyes from the real problem?” With the Kidate Shrine at his back, Emi’s Papa tilted his head. ”When are you planning to take back what’s precious to the stony girl?”
For a fragment of a second, I felt like I was having a flashback. It could be compared to deja-vu. It really feels like I’ve had this same conversation before. I have a really bad feeling about this. The inside of my mouth dried up.
“You don’t have to be so wary, Yokodera-kun. I just want to talk with you. At this very place, see.”
“…Here? For what?”
“I came here to investigate that. You should know about it. The mysterious force of the Tsutsukakushi Household.” Emi Papa took a plastic bag out of his chest pocket.
Inside the transparent bag, I could see a carved wood cat piece. It didn’t only look familiar. Steel-san had created this to completely avoid studying. She handed this to the vice club president and I during the field trip last year, and something troublesome happened. That’s about it. But what did it do after that? How did it end up in his hands?
“Japan is a weird country, see. Ancient powers still exist to this day. The single cedar up on the hill, the Buddhist temple at the shrine, and so on. With all of this mysterious power sleeping here in this area, whenever you come into contact with those possessed by these gods, complicated circumstances can be born.” He played with the cat piece in his hand and looked at me. “I say… have you experienced it already?”
“…How do you know about the Cat God?”
“I received something precious from the cat in the past. I have a huge debt.” Emi’s Papa shrugged his shoulders. “But that’s unrelated. I’m not the problem here. It’s you. Your goal, your actions, your way of living, see. One day, another problem with the main family will happen yet again. Maybe you really should solidify your stance once and for all? Live according to your own thoughts.”
“…This isn’t what I came here for.”
“Everything is connected. We have to talk, Yokodera-kun. About this evil family deity, the cursed family deity, the deity that spreads misfortune. Isn’t this something that should interest you greatly?”
In the midst of the blank atmosphere he gave off, only his characteristically deep voice stuck to my heart and wouldn’t let go. It felt like I was stuck in a spider’s web. My feet were stuck inside mud, and it was pulling me deeper.
“Looking at the connections between you and the cat statue, you must have some special power yourself. That day, during the Central Exam, I realized it.”
“The Central Exam…”
That day, I battled against the Cat God and transported Steel-san’s bag to her. Of course, this was caused by a certain emergency situation, and it definitely wasn’t simply because the person in question happened to be clumsy and forgot it in the heat of the moment. Rather, a certain person delivered the bag to her.
“Of course, I was the one who left her bag behind.” He said like it was obvious.
“What are you doing at such an important time!?”
“Why are you getting angry at me? I knew you would be able to resolve it. And nothing bad happened as a result, so what of it?”
“You’re crazy…”
“—Siamo tutti un po’ pazzi2.” He spoke words I failed to understand. “Every single one of us is a bit weird. That’s an Italian phrase. Can you really say with confidence that you’re not a little bit crazy?”
I couldn’t answer. I can’t say that with full confidence.
“Explaining everything is impossible. The absurdities in this world are all crazy.”
“……”
“What I’m trying to say might sound a bit odd to you. But I act according to my convictions. I will accept criticism and blame for my actions. What about you?”
“I’m not really…”
“I sympathize with this confusing situation you find yourself in. However, should you really continue to deceive them, deceive yourself, and run away?”
This deja-vu-esque sense of discomfort continued. The shrine, the cat piece, this conversation, it feels familiar. That’s right. On the field trip… with who?
“Ah…”
I had heard a stray cat near the forest. At the same time, the image of the cat puppet came back to mind. There was a ninja residence near the Togaku Shrine. I met the man who controlled that cat puppet. The voice of the cat puppet, and the voice of Emi’s Papa… is the same. But that can’t be right.
After all, didn’t I see Emi and her Papa running around at the very same time I was talking with the puppet? I was at a loss. I don’t understand this sense of discomfort. I don’t even understand myself. Yet, my throat, breathing in this misty fog, hurt unbearably.
Either way, if I really remembered what the puppet had said, if I could have predicted this development, then I would most likely not have gotten in contact with Emi’s Papa. However, that didn’t happen. I didn’t do anything. I was just getting swept along with the conversation. This deja-vu was absolutely useless, and I only realized that now.
“You wanted to do something about Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi’s entrance exams, right? Something like that should be a fire on the opposite shore. That’s not what you should be trying to fix, right? Not just that, correct?” He spoke with a frank voice. “The very fact that you wanted to ask me for advice is odd. You should be able to do anything. Just by praying to the cat statue, you could grant yourself any wish. All you have to do is use the power at your disposal. Right?”
“…I don’t wish thoughtlessly.”
“Why not?”
“…Because there’s risks.”
“Risks?” He tilted his head flatly.
It was the gesture of a man who would question the validity of irrigation in a desert.
“What exactly are you talking about? Risks don’t exist. As long as you don’t understand the mechanisms, you have to continue trying it out. If the world is going to change, then change it. That’s how people live.”
The vicinity of the Kidate Shrine was wrapped in mist, making it feel like both the outer and inner world coexisted. Even the artificially-created light of the Tsutsukakushi Household wouldn’t reach all the way out here. Only I existed inside this unclear border.
“Say, Yokodera-kun, what do you wish for the most right now?”
The cat piece in my hand fell over, even though no breeze hit us. I tightly grasped it, shaking my head. I shook it several times. So that I could stop the words from gushing out of my mouth. But in the end…
“…You said that Steel-san’s exams are like a fire on a faraway shore, right?” I finally spoke.
About my feelings, the ones I never told anybody.
“Have you ever really seen something like that?”
In the face of my words, the Noppera-Bou3 tilted its head. There’s no way he would understand. If he had seen how hard Steel-san studied for the entrance exam, how Tsutsukakushi and Azuki Azusa held her pig-vs-sheep war, how I made that girl from the choir cry because I forgot her, how a coalition was born between the two clubs before, then he might be able to understand. But like this, he has no way of understanding my feelings.
Calling it a fire on a faraway shore, calling it someone else’s problem, is just too harsh. Everyone is trying to deal with the burning fire, deepening their bonds, whereas I’m watching them from afar, like it has nothing to do with me. Merely watching it is… unbearable. If I can erase the fire on the opposite shore, then I want to do that. If there’s a person crying on the other side, I want to cross the cold river and comfort them.
The sight of the hedgehog-costume wearing woman, living alone in a cold residence, flashed up in my mind. I remembered my first love, the person who had cared for me when I was young: Tsutsukakushi Tsukasa-san. I wanted to comfort her with my own strength. I wanted to bet everything I had and save her. Even if that would change the world, even if I would lose my precious memories of her. What I’ve always wished for…
“…To become a hero who saves people.” I felt no unease saying this.
Inside of this holy territory, reigned by the Gods, I felt a single cat statue in my hand. What will happen if you use the cat that pulls something closer, and the cat that sends something away at the same time? If the one who’s giving out the wish is me, and the one who accepts the hope is also me, then…
“Ah…”
It felt like I had arrived at the bottom of the swamp, and I felt an illusion of the ground beneath me melting. Below the sole of my shoe, on this vague border, appeared a dark shadow. It opened its wings on the ground like a Yatagarasu4, covering my feet. Losing its domain, gaining an unfamiliar definition, the shadow changed its shape from being merely 2D, and stood up to become a physical shape. What had been created was a black shadow, possessing the same standpoint, the same silhouette, and the same atmosphere.
It was the monster that had rested in the abyss. It was woken up by the Cat God, the monster inside of me that had handed something over, and received something.
“…That’s just fine. You became a hero. A hero that can save the people you want to.” The Noppera-Bou muttered with a happy tone. “For starters, why not resolve the problem of the entrance exam first? That should be doable for you now. Shouldn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
I watched myself nod together with the black shadow next to me. I heard my own throat produce words unrelated to my own intention. I now knew that the other me inside of myself had been brought out.
The heck is this?
I was left baffled, and the Noppera-Bou disappeared into the darkness.
*
When I came to my senses, I was standing alone in front of the shrine’s stone stairs. I checked my arms and legs. My neck moved as well. Jump, squats, sidesteps, I tried various bodily training methods, but I could perform every sort of movement that would get me weird glances if I pulled them off in the middle of town.
There’s no problem at all… Yeah, no problem at all.
“Wahahaha, moron, idiot!”
Even when I called out, no response came back from the darkness. Of course, it’d be bad if I had gotten a response, so I said these words with a calm voice. It was enough to confirm that my throat and lips belonged to me. What just happened? Was that merely a bluff? Since a shrine is a highly spiritual space, I might have just been caught up in some kind of illusion or trance. I should come here with Azuki Azusa for our date and enjoy taking a walk together!
“Ohh?”
My phone buzzed. I had received an email. Maybe it’s Demon Lord-chan who doesn’t allow any sort of fantasizing? However, I turned out to be wrong. The sender was Steel-san.
‘I don’t get it.’
These were her only words. She should be in the middle of studying right now. What doesn’t she understand? The past tense? The way home? Life in itself? Maybe all of them? Either way, she was relying on me. I stuffed the cat piece into my pocket, and my feet carried me over to where Steel-san was located.
The center library in front of the train station was as full as always. Even now that the time for them to close was drawing near, not a single table was open. It made sense, since exam season was coming up, and today was a Saturday. Boys and girls filled the seats, wearing headbands, glasses, masks; all clad in the typical examinee look.
All I could hear was the sound of pens scratching paper. Even a needle could create a loud sound in this atmosphere. I felt like I was being pulled deep into the ocean, making me have trouble breathing.
“…Achoo.”
An elderly woman passed by, letting out a muffled sneeze. As a result, all the people present looked up in shock, only to immediately drop their gazes down to their paper again. You can count the days until the exam day of the national university. I guess they really don’t want to waste a second.
“Uuu… what is this…?”
Met with this tense atmosphere, an older man and an older lady both quickly escaped this place. This was no place that would respect the elderly. This was the gate of hell. Only the greatest soldiers were allowed to survive. In the midst of this endless Maginot Line5, I immediately spotted the examinee I was looking for.
“Mmm… I don’t get it… I don’t get it…! Why are they always asking me for this ekusu equal wai…!” She fumbled with the various math reference books at her disposal, almost burying her face in them.
The person next to Ms. Ponytail-san had to take a safe distance.
“I’m busy figuring my own reason to live, and my path in the future, and yet I have to figure it out for these two as well! How can I even raise function F…!” She looked like a lion gnawing on an old bone as it looked into the distance.
It’s like a battle for survival but more in the natural sense than in society as a whole.
“I don’t understand… Why do English letters exist…?! Why did our languages split up like this…? Was the Tower of Babel really the original sin that caused all this…?”
And now she’s starting a theological dispute. Religion always becomes the most important thing on a battlefield with no hope.
“Good work today, Club President.”
“Oh, you’re fast.”
I gently tapped her on the shoulder, and Steel-san’s lifeless eyes turned towards me.
“You seem to be in high and proud spirits. Were the exams this year cancelled by any chance? Or, did God die…?” She blinked several times, like she had arrived at the truth.
Worried that we would trouble the people around us, I moved close to her, whispering.
“The thing is, there is something I wanted to ask you.”
“…Hm?”
“I know it might be a bit late, but… why are you studying?”
“Mmm?” Steel-san rubbed her sleep-deprived eyes.
Her usual stretched back had rolled up like a cat’s, looking a lot smaller.
“Why am I studying…? So what you’re trying to say is that studying is a waste of effort…?”
“No no no.”
“Are you asking me for the reason why I’m even alive if I don’t study?”
“No no no!
“I get it. You’re going to behead me at the end of my seppuku, because I should be ashamed at my incompetence.”
“Where did that come from!? I was just wondering! Normally!”
“—If so, then the answer is simple.” Steel-san took a deep breath. “I have this promise with you—or rather, with your younger brother, Yokodera. I want to make my cute little sister feel safe and protected by me.”
“Because?”
“Because I am the oldest daughter of the Tsutsukakushi Family.” She said, her face downcast.
That’s right. At the base of all her actions laid the consciousness that she was an older sister. And yet… something was off. I didn’t come here just to confirm that. I didn’t ask her for such a simple answer. And yet, the tongue inside of my mouth continued lining up words I wasn’t even thinking of asking.
“In other words, your main goal isn’t going to university. Rather, it’s to assure Tsukiko-chan’s well-being, and you’re just choosing a university to guarantee that.”
“Hm? Well, I guess that’s what it boils down to…”
“I understand.” I slowly nodded.
When did I stop acting according to my own desires? A dark shadow started welling up on the library’s floor. It had my face, my voice, and moved my body. The thing that isn’t me is slowly becoming me. The other exam-goers around paid us no attention. They all only look ahead. Nobody would bother with this shadow.
“Club President… No, Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi.”
“Hm?”
The black shadow sucked air into my throat, used my throat, and stretched out my arms.
“—Let’s get married?”
I embraced Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi face-on. Silence followed, and she froze in place. I could feel painful stares hitting my back.
“……Fuwah!?”
Her reaction came in a few seconds late, and Steel-san jolted up from the chair. But there was no place for her to escape to. She was still inside of my arms.
“I’ll make you forget about my younger brother. I can guarantee complete safety for Tsukiko-chan as well. So you don’t have to force yourself to study any longer.”
“No, wait, what… you…!?”
“Let’s get married and become happy?”
“Wha…!?”
“Let’s make lots of babies as well?”
“Ba…beh…!?” Tsukushi-san’s lips were quivering in shock, not allowing her to utter any worthwhile words.
Her long eyelashes moved up and down, and I could see myself in her eyes. Every part of her body started to feel hot, as I could see the blood rushing to her cheeks, her usually commanding face broken down. She tried to open her lips, but she couldn’t. In a final attempt to escape me, she averted her face from my gaze. There stood but a single girl.
“………”
After a long silence, she mustered up all the courage she had.
“P-Please… treat me… well…” She nodded.
I received her permission. We were now officially engaged. Thus, she was removed from the frontlines of this intense war, and I had succeeded in saving a single girl. This is what a hero is supposed to be. An ally of justice.
Thank you everyone! Let’s hope we can see each other again!
(The End)
Now hold the damn phone!
I returned to my senses. Or rather, I came back. The shadow returned to the ground, creating a silhouette of me that wasn’t like myself. He had used my mouth, used my hands, and eventually forced it all onto me! I can’t forgive that—I stomped on the ground.
“…Don’t panic… something like this is…”
The black shadow had left my body, which allowed me to feel Steel-san’s warmth. She was still inside of my arms. Like a little bird that had just been born, she clung to my chest. I certainly did not have the courage to push her away. More than anything…
“Could you let go of me now…? T-This is… pretty embarrassing… see…”
Seeing Steel-san so timid was fairly fresh. At the same time, she looked happier than ever, compared to these past few months. Thanks to the black shadow, this problem had been resolved. I guess… it’s not as bad as I thought. That’s what I happened to think at that time.
1 A reference to the Hachikou statue(s), a dog who waited faithfully for years at a train station for an owner who died and never came home. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
2 ‘We are all a little crazy’
3 A faceless ghost
4 Mythical raven
5 Line of concrete fortifications, obstacle,s and weapon installations to deter invasion in France
CClaw Translations 