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Someone’s happiness can be someone else’s misfortune.
“Ponta, what comes to mind when you think of summer?”
“The downpour of the scorching hot sun! The dry soil! Oh star that calls itself our mother, why can we not save each other?”
“…It seems you’re still spewing nonsense.”
“I’m being serious here, you know. In order to reduce my own personal CO2 emissions, I’m holding my breath for one hour each day.”
“I’m glad to see that the important parts of you haven’t changed.”
The peaceful morning sun was dazzling. The path to school was filled with students getting off their various busses, and Ponta and I rode past them on our bikes. It’s been quite some time since we went to school together like this.
“That reminds me, are you fine skipping practice today? It’s the first time we’ve met up at a time like this.”
“Not really, no. I don’t know what kind of excuse I can make in front of the club president. I’ll have to tell her that last night there was a lot of restraining, hugging, pushing down, crying, and such so I couldn’t get much sleep. Something like that.”
“You can’t mix videos and reality together. You have to fight even if this world is twisted.”
“This actually happened! I can still feel the girl’s warmth in the palm of my hand!”
“Yeah yeah, I get it. Be happy and all that. Anyway, what was that about summer?”
“To be honest, summer is about the sight of underwear showing through the back of blouses! It’s about the eros of the sweaty scent drifting through the air!”
We stopped at a red light. Still seated on the saddle of my bike, I looked around. Because of the humid air around us, there was a veritable mountain of sights all around us. The girls looked erotic in all sorts of ways. I couldn’t hold back a broad smile.
“For example, over there. Ah, and this girl too! Woah!”
“…Listen. This is fine for me, but I know you already.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t you think that it’d make your future student life a lot easier if you didn’t point them out like that?”
When Ponta warned me about it, I realized that all the girls around me were glaring at me like I was rotten cabbage. In a panic, I quickly retracted my finger.
“Now I’ve done it… When I saw their bras being exposed in broad daylight, I got too excited for my own good.”
Quickly, as if they were trying to run away from rotten slugs, the girls immediately ran away from us across the pedestrian crossing the instant the light turned green.
“Still, you sure aren’t holding back this early in the morning. Did something good happen? Did you have a good dream?”
“Not really, no… The best thing was actually your goods. That sweat fetish DVD was great, by the way. The concept of pairing girls and muscle training is truly innovative!”
“Hee hee hee, right right. If you’re putting it to good use, then you’re happy, I’m happy, and Africa is happy too.”
“Yeah…” I tilted my head in puzzlement.
Something was off. I couldn’t put it into proper words, but it felt like some kind of membrane surrounding my body was thinner and fainter than usual.
We left the pedestrian crossing behind us. We were greeted by a crowd of people when we arrived at the school gate, so we stepped off our bikes.
“Ahhh… it seems like the usual Azuki Azusa reward time has started…”
After peeking over the shoulders of the students in front of us, Ponta muttered to himself, and shrugged his shoulders in resignation.
“…The heck is that? And who is that supposed to be?”
“Don’t say you don’t know her. It’s that rich lady that transferred to our school this April.”
“Azusa? Hikari1? This is the first I’ve heard of this… No, wait. I remember hearing that there was a cute transfer student in the class next to ours.”
“That’s her, alright. She immediately became the top beauty of the students in her year. She’s constantly being confessed to and all that. She’s really made a name for herself.”
“A popular and beautiful rich lady? How perfect can you be, seriously? I’ve been busy with the club from morning till night, so I don’t think I know her, since she’s not part of either the track-and-field club or the swimming club.”
“Well aren’t you diligent… Hm? Why would you know anyone in the swimming club?”
“I see, so that’s Azuki Azusa, huh? And, what is this ‘reward time,’ exactly?”
I had gotten curious, and started trying to push my way to the front of the crowd. I immediately understood why this deadlock happened in the first place. Right inside the school gate, as if trying to block the entrance, a boy and a girl were facing each other. The boy on one side was talking.
“Azuki-san, I love you so much that I can barely take it! Please go out with me!”
He made some kind of poetic declaration to the girl. It was about as original as the recent popular video trends you see online. Hecking pranksters. Anyway, Azuki Azusa’s response to it was…
“Go out with you, huh…? And?” She tilted her head in a cute gesture.
For that one second during this gesture, she looked like a cosmic fairy. Her chestnut-colored long hair was decorated with fluffy-looking waves. She looked like a single flower blooming on the highest peak of a mountain. Every time she blinked, her long eyelashes fluttered, and her soft lips moved, leaking out a voice resembling a flower spirit—
“Is that it, then? Even flamingos dance when they’re trying to court another, or open their wings. Are you even human? As of right now, you seem more like a pre-evolutionary ape. Couldn’t you at least do something that would indicate you’re a functional living creature?”
Eh? Where did my fairy go?
“I’m not expecting you to greet me from a Rolls Royce, or lay out the red carpet in front of the school. I couldn’t expect that sort of thing from a normal citizen. It can be something simple. Something even a golden retriever could do. If I were to call for you, would you come rushing over at 2am, when you’re on a trip far away, when your parents are on the brink of death, whenever and whatever the situation? Would you offer your everything for my sake, clinging to me like a blind sheep?”
Her eyes were as beautiful as gems, her cheeks were radiating a strong pink color. Around her neck was a choker, which made quite the fashion statement. If you were to buy a high-grade picture frame at an art store and place it around the girl, the picture would definitely be the centerpiece of any room you hung it in. That’s how much she looked like a fairy.
“…Hmph. Impossible, I see. But I knew that already. Could you stop talking to me? I have less interest in you than I do the empty shell of a cicada. Crawl on the ground and spend some time with your fellow insects.”
With a scornful expression, as if she were trying to shoo away a worthless insect, Azuki Azusa waved her hand. The boy who had confessed to her froze in place. And who could blame him? It’d take another seven years for him to become a grown insect, so there’s really no hope for him. I wouldn’t put it past him if he cried. But, rather than his expression being distorted in pain, he let out a joyful sigh.
“…Thank you very much!”
He actually started prostrating himself, and his body started twitching in pleasure. The heck am I looking at?
“Azuki Ausa is a genuine rich lady, so her discrimination is terrible. Ever since she transferred, she would always shoot down anyone who confessed to her, leaving them unable to even get up.” Ponta provided an explanation from behind my back. “As time passed, the men who had that kind of taste, you know, started calling it Azuki Azusa’s ‘reward time.’ Well, it’s a normal thing to see at this time of the day. It’s something that truly reminds you of this season. It’s gotten a bit stale recently, but today was on a level that I haven’t seen in quite a while.”
“What kind of service is that…? These perverts are crazy, I swear…”
“My, aren’t you a special fellow. But when you consider her looks, and think about how rich her family is, even I’d feel like calling out to her. If she rejected me that harshly, I’d take it as a reason to grow as a person. It’d be divine providence if anything.”
Azuki Azusa gave the person who had confessed to her a haughty glance, made an elegant gesture with a sigh, and turned around on her heel. Her wavy hair fluttered softly like a flower decoration. The crowd of students around her opened the way, treating her like an art piece at a museum. But nobody was allowed to approach her. Like a prideful, lonely flower.
“She sure is cute. Even for someone like me who threw away my carnal desires, I can’t help but feel my heart being cleansed looking at her.”
“Huh.”
“She’s got both looks and social standing. She’s been granted two luxuries by the heavens. It’s not fair!”
“Huh.”
“…‘Huh’ my ass. You really don’t care about it at all, do you?”
I once again ran my gaze over the girl. In detail. Down beneath the rustic choker, further down her uniform’s ribbon, namely to the small bumps on her chest. Although it was only a glance, it was clear that there wasn’t much to see. How would I care about any of this? Her entire body was like a fairy, including the important bits.
“I mean, look at her. She acts like she’s hot stuff, but she’s totally flat!”
By the way, I’d like to ask something. Suppose your class is being noisy during lunch break, only for it to suddenly grow quiet out of the blue, and you just so happen to blurt out something awful at that precise moment. You’d get super embarrassed if that happened, right? What would you do in that situation? Please tell me. Like right now.
I really didn’t have any ill intent. I probably just got lulled into a false sense of security with how noisy everyone around me was being. But my voice was louder than all of them.
“…Totally… flat…” Azuki Azusa looked down at her chest, mumbling.
She must have a complex about it. I thought I saw her mouth twitching, opening and closing like a fish, her face turning beet red. All the other people around just stared in awe, eventually averting their gazes, as if to emphasize that they would never dare to utter the words she reacted to. It was as if they had created a hivemind in a matter of seconds. Eventually, they receded like a wave at the beach, leaving me standing by myself in front of Azuki Azusa.
“…Hmph, aren’t you quite the funny one,” Her eyes were burning with rage, as if one of the worst criminals imaginable were standing in front of her.
I could almost feel the sparks emanating from her hitting my skin. If I had to think of something to compare it to, the hill on which the flower had been blooming had suddenly been burned down. If I give her the wrong answer now, this destruction will spread even to me. I can’t have this end that way. Calm down. I should be able to do it. I just need to become the gentleman that resides deep in my heart.
“I-It’s totally fine! You don’t have to worry at all! Though I might personally like it when they’re bigger, flatness has its own special kind of status in this world. People value chests when there’s nothing! Apparently there’s people who think that, rather than a giant mountain, a flat plain symbolizes true beauty! I think they’re fundamentalists! And think about it! Since you’re so flat, you don’t have to worry about getting new underwear all the time, so that’s an added bonus! They won’t lose their shape either, mainly because they don’t have any, so I’d consider you to be pretty lucky!” I gave her a thumbs-up but slowly came to the realization that I had said many unnecessary things just now.
Although they were my honest feelings, I should have known better than to disregard the time, place, and surroundings and to just say whatever came to mind. I desperately wanted to break eye contact with Azuki Azusa right then and there, but at the same time I needed to see her reaction for myself. When I looked at her—
—You’re dead meat, Pervert.
The flower fairy’s expression had that written all over it.
“Fu… fufu… fufuhuh… You really are a funny one. It feels like I’ve been bitten by a badly-trained dog. So much fun… Why don’t we take a walk together?”
Though her tone sounded soft and forgiving, this flower looked like it was about to erupt in a fiery explosion. Her shoulders were shaking furiously. Unlike her unapproachable behaviour during the ‘reward time,’ she pulled on my arm towards the deserted backside of the school building. I could feel the jealous gazes of the people around me. But, sadly, I’m not the type of person to get excited about something like this. Please, God, save me—
“Wait. I’ll take Yokodera for now.”
Just from the aura the voice gave off, I could tell that the King was speaking. She made a big entrance, her fingers cracking audibly. When I saw that she was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, it became painfully obvious that she had come directly from her early morning training. The very one I had skipped. With a glare as sharp and solid as steel that could kill a demon, she looked directly into my eye sockets.
“And who are you…? I had business with him first.”
“This man will have to choose between life and death now. Dead Or Die. He has business with me instead.”
“D-Don’t be ridiculous! And your English is as bad as a monkey!” Azuki Azusa said.
“Hm? Did you say something? Were you ridiculing me?”
“Eeek…N-No, I wasn’t…”
That’s the Steel King for you. She’s on a completely different playing field than some fairy. With just one glare from her, Azuki Azusa fell silent. I guess a rich lady can be pretty weak when it comes to being forceful. Still… two girls are fighting over me. Aren’t I a lucky man? It’s like a dream. Of course, it’s more of a nightmare than anything. It’s like one danger after another. It’s like I made it out of the fire and then Nostradamus2 hit me, something like that. Hey, God, are you gonna give me a helping hand?
“Now then, Yokodera, do you have an explanation for why you’ve come to school at a late hour like this?” The Steel King stood right in front of me.
This really isn’t looking good now, is it? Now that things came to this, it’s all over.
“I appointed you as the next club president, and you immediately skipped practice the following morning. I told you that I hate people betraying my expectations with a burning passion. Is this how you really felt? Can I take it that way, hmm?”
“Y-Your…”
“What? If you have an excuse, then let’s hear it. I would rather not have to go through the trouble of washing my fists after dealing with you this early in the morning.”
“Y-Your…sho…”
My head went blank. Normally, I’d think of something about the earth defence force or a secret intelligence agency, and since the Steel King apparently liked this sort of talk, I’d be able to distract her with that. Today, though, my brain was too slow, and I was also too slow to stop my mouth from running wild.
“What are you wearing shorts for, Club president?! Where are your spats?! Where did your usual spats go?! The spats for the track-and-field club have magic cast upon them that could even rival competitive swimsuits! The magic of restraining fetishism! I managed to survive that hellish training because I could look at those spats! Without them, the track-and-field club has no meaning to exist! You’ve been part of this club for how many years now? And you still don’t get it?! Change into your spats right this instant, you inconsiderate girl!”
The Steel King listened to me in silence. She was looking at me with an expression I had trouble putting into words. Seriously, what did I just say? Voicing your honest opinion in front of the King is nothing but a death wish. It’s selling uncensored adult magazines door-to-door and knocking on the front door of the police office. I have to come up with an excuse right away!
“W-Well…Um…this is a misunderstanding! I wasn’t planning on—I mean, I’ve been thinking that all day every day…so could you maybe just hurry up and change…”
“…Oho.”
She returned a vague noise as heavy as lead, and that signaled the end of me. Specifically, the end of my life. Please look forward to Yokodera-kun’s next reincarnation.
“—I see. So that’s what it was…”
After a short pause, the King slowly opened her mouth. A silence never felt before in this world arrived. The students around prepared themselves for the incoming steel calamity to arrive, some of them closing their eyes. The club president blinked several times, her long eyelashes slicing through the air, only for her to narrow her normally sharp eyes.
“Yokodera…You must have been tired. I am terribly sorry for not picking up on your sleep-deprived state.”
“Eh… um…?”
“It’s fine now. I’ll let everyone know! You were offering too much of yourself to the track-and-field club. If not, you would have never uttered such nonsense. It’s like you turned into a total pervert. Forget about this incident, and take a break from club activities for a while.”
The response was from someone as kind as Christ. Basically, she thought that I had some kind of mental illness.
This is definitely weird. I mean, not my head this time. Well, my head might actually have suffered some damage, but I’d like to postpone a close analysis of that for now. What I would like to focus on now is my tongue being out of control. If things went as they usually did, even if my brain was drifting off towards the territory of swimsuits, I could still use my wisdom to cover it up by using, let’s say, space whales. But today, as soon as indecent thoughts filled my mind, I didn’t hesitate to blurt them out. It’s like I’m the only one entering a sci-fi space battle without a force field to protect me.
After this first incident, I sexually harassed my classmates seven times, was sent out of the classroom by my teacher four times, and students from other classes came to take a peek at me more than 50 times.
“Who is it? The spats fetishist.” “That Guy.” “Ohh, he has that kind of face?”
—Perverted Prince.
As the first person who had survived a staredown from the Steel King, I earned myself a nickname. If the King calls you a pervert, then you’re the Perverted Prince. If I might be so bold to say so, it’s truly horrible naming sense. The nickname is so bad that it could even rival ‘Ero Ponchi.’
“But, I still think that ‘Perverted Prince’ is a pretty appropriate name for you.”
After classes had ended, Ponta made a horrible attempt at cheering me up as he gently put his hand on my shoulder.
“That’s a joke, right? You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am! You kept calling me ‘Ponta,’ and since I don’t like that nickname, I’d say this is a fair trade.”
“Urk… why would I have to go through something like this…?”
“Dear Perverted Prince, let me deal back to you the words you’ve dealt to me. You reap what you sow!” Ponta laughed in a teasing manner, acting as aloof and pure as a monk living alone on a mountain. “Anyway, on a more serious note, if we want to get to the bottom of the affair, it’s because of your carnal desires. If you remove all evil from the roots of the world, you will awaken to true peace. Why not go visit the Stony Cat?”
“Well, I did, but… Hm? Mmm??”
I remembered the ritual from last night. But I quickly shook my head. There’s no way this is related. I couldn’t see how a small wish like that could have huge repercussions like restricting my tongue like this.
“Ohh, so you went as well. Your offering disappeared, right? It’s the real deal, I tell you. Look, I took Barbara-san there. The instant I looked away, she vanished, just like that.”
“Huh?”
You were just too vexed to use that hugging pillow as an offering, and instead stuffed it into my closet, right? I still have it even now. But before I could say that, I felt a shiver. Ponta once again didn’t look like he was joking around.
“…What do you mean it just disappeared?”
“Like I said. Evaporated, disappeared, lost in existence. What should I say? The offering is supposed to disappear as proof that the wish was granted, but the thief sure is skilled. Normally you’d send in a police search for lost objects, but it’s Barbara-san.”
He was speaking calmly. There was no way he would joke about this. But if this wasn’t just a prank, then what exactly…? The offering disappeared? And appeared in my room? And Ponta’s carnal desires. My Barbara-san didn’t disappear. What disappeared when I was praying?
Something is off here. The puzzle pieces are all over the place, but I can see the final image. But… that has to be a lie, right? While I was spacing out, Ponta took my silence to mean something different, narrowing his eyes.
“Don’t be so down about it. The effects of the visit might not show right away, but the God up above is watching. They say rumours last 75 days, so your newly-found title will be gone before you know it!”
This time, he tried to cheer me up with a slight tap on my shoulder, and left me behind. He was busy working on world peace today as well. My brain was in complete disarray, not even allowing me to properly see him off. Everything had turned into a mess, but I was fairly certain that I had been caught up in something.
I spaced out so long that I lost track of time. I had been thinking this entire time, with no answer in sight whatsoever, and my head hurt the more I continued. Nobody was left in the classroom by this point. Everyone was heading home or stopping somewhere else on their way home.
“…How miserable.” A sigh escaped my lips.
I was deprived of my club activities. When I took what the Steel King had said into consideration, I probably would have around a week off club. I really had dug my own grave. At this rate, I couldn’t even visit my favorite concrete wall. Neither could I enjoy the sight of the track-and-field club girls in their spats. My entire reason for existence had been stripped off me.
“…Gaaah damn it all! I guess I’ll just make my way home and enjoy the idol swimsuit tournament then! I’ll let my memories and their breasts drop!” Venting my frustration aloud with a roar, I felt a bit more refreshed.
Maybe I’d feel a bit better if I did that with the windows open next time. Yeah, let’s do that. I opened the windows towards the outside of the school building, and then opened the windows towards the hallway—
“If it isn’t the famous pervert I’ve heard so much about.”
“Uhyaaa!” I jumped backwards.
A young girl entered the classroom from one corner without me noticing her, just like a Zashiki-Warashi3. Judging from the color of her ribbon, she’s a first-year student. A short haircut complimented her looks, and her hair was tied up on one side, which looked like a tail wagging whenever she moved. Though she was rather small for her age, her lack of expression gave her the atmosphere of an indifferent, rather cold girl. She looked similar to someone I knew. Awfully similar.
Even when I closely inspected her with an intense stare, she returned a cool reaction. She almost resembled a Siamese cat.
“It makes me want to pat you from head to tail, for sure.”
“…Spoken like a true pervert.”
“Y-You’re wrong. I was praising you in a very special fashion!”
“I feel like you’re the kind of person who ends up in court quite frequently, Mr Pervert.”
“Why?! Also, what brings you here to the second-year classrooms?”
“Ah, yes. I actually have business with Senpai… Pervert-san.”
“Don’t stop yourself mid-sentence and then make it worse! You say you have business with me, but this is our first time meeting, isn’t it?”
“So you don’t remember. I see how it is.”
The girl slowly approached me. There was quite a drastic difference in our height, resulting in her having to gaze up at me. Her lack of any facial expression at all actually scared me a bit.
“Maybe it’ll help jog your memory if I do this,” She said, grabbing my collar.
The girl pulled me towards her, and we both fell to the ground. I landed on my knees and felt a soft impact. The girl was right beneath me. We had our secret rendezvous between two desks. An after-school wish of mine had finally been granted, even though I didn’t expect it.
“Wait, what are you doing?! I-If someone sees this, they’ll get the wrong idea about me again…!”
“Again, you say? I see. So that wasn’t the first time. Yet again, I realize what kind of complete, thorough, and flawless pervert you are.”
Or so she says, but she was the one who instigated this whole thing. She still showed no expression on her face. Or rather, her expression didn’t change. More importantly, though, she was super cute. Her small nose, her cherry-blossom lips, and her slender chin were all great, but the most powerful part of her appearance was her eyes. Her eyebrows made their way straight up her face. Her eyes shone a strong blue, slightly damp. They had their own gravitational pull—or so I would say if I were a poet.
My hands ignored the commands of my brain, moving all around her, eventually making their way to her delicate shoulders—
…Delicate shoulders? I remember this sensation. Like they would break as easily as glass if I put a bit more pressure into my grip.
“Y-You’re the girl from that hill!”
It’s the girl who bawled her eyes out and munched on her steamed buns. Now that I became aware of it, I immediately remembered, but thanks to the darkness yesterday, and the attitude she was making towards me right now, it felt like it was a completely different person. I had no idea.
“Correct. Nice to see you again.” A clear sigh escaped from her pen-nib-shaped mouth. “…And, since this is rather embarrassing, I would appreciate it if you could get off me.”
“Embarrassing?”
“Yes, it’s embarrassing enough that I could die.”
Or so she said, with not a hint of bashfulness on her expression.
The girl was named Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko. The name4 really suited her. Since she’s one year below me, I asked if I could just call her Tsukiko-chan, but she immediately rejected it and said ‘This is embarrassing as well.’ Yet again, her face showed no sign of said embarrassment.
“So, basically… Tsutsukakushi-san, you lost the ability to change your facial expression, and you also lost your ability to put emotion into your voice, right?”
We sat down on a couple desks nearby, getting into that comfortable mood. Her legs didn’t reach the floor, and she kicked her legs up and down, making it look like the desk was gigantic.
“There is no need to add ‘san’ for a Kouhai, Perverted Prince-senpai. It makes me feel uncomfortable.”
“I don’t see why you would have to add a ‘Senpai’ suffix to that… Anyway, Tsutsukakushi, do you think that the reason for your sudden change is that you prayed to the Stony Cat?”
“I can’t think of any other reason. And also, after I prayed together with Senpai… Pervert-senpai, you lost your facade as well, right?”
“I don’t want you to say the ‘Pervert’ part either! Still, do you think something that unrealistic could actually happen?”
“Do you think saying perverted things to the president of the track-and-field club in front of an audience like that is realistic?”
“Urk…”
“Are you actually more than just a mild pervert who would give a name to his hugging pillow? Is this actually completely unrelated to the prayer, and you’re the kind of obscene pervert who would say things like that all the time? Is calling you a ‘pervert’ really that far-fetched?”
“Ugggh…!”
The way she repeatedly called me a pervert was almost like direct punches to my gut. It was more than the actual contents of what Tsutsukakushi was saying. It was the fact that she was looking at me with such a cold, distant expression that it hurt even more. Is this what androids would act like, like those I’ve seen in movies? That crybaby of a girl’s expressions, and what she’s actually thinking, has vanished completely. But wasn’t she the one who wished for this?
“I wanted to have more control of my facial expressions and tone of voice. Even if I was technically granted that, living my daily life in this state will definitely prove difficult. The same goes for you, right? The rumour of you being the Perverted Prince has already spread to the first-years. That’s why I came to talk about it.”
“But even if you say that, we don’t really know each other, so there’s not much… Ahh, I see.” A lightbulb went off inside my head.
Ignoring the cause of it all, there’s a super easy way to take care of this. Since my cute Kouhai is relying on her Senpai, I have to show how reliable I can be.
“I also gave it some thought. If the origin of this mess was our visit to the cat statue, we should go there once again to—” Tsutsukakushi spoke with one finger on her cheek, tilting her head as she started contemplating.
I stood directly in front of her and nodded confidently.
“I have a better idea, actually.”
“Eh, what are you thinking?”
I stuffed both my hands underneath her arms, tightly holding onto her. And then I started a fierce tickle attack.
“There! Laugh! Laugh, and laugh some more!”
“……?!”
I pushed her small body, writhing in agony, against the table, running my fingers along her sides. If she can’t show her emotions on her face, I just have to force her to make them. If someone were to do this to me, I’d start screaming in laughter immediately. Though I hope this doesn’t take too long, because tickling her like this is pretty embarrassing, even for me.
“—Uu…Fu…Nnn—!”
But Tsutsukakushi was actually quite resilient. She still didn’t show any expression on her face, and I started wondering if she was even able to laugh in the first place. Her breathing became a bit quicker, but no real voice could be heard. The power of the Stony Cat is incredible after all. I can’t help it, then. It’s time to tickle, tickle, and tickle some more.
“Ah…! Sto…Ugh…!”
Her white neck quickly changed color to a thick crimson red, as she shook her head left and right. As she struggled, her tail-like hair started hitting the desk. Her fingers, like a doll’s, were desperately holding on to the corner of the desk, and the toes of her indoor shoes were hitting against the leg of the desk, like she was trying to endure something. A creaking sound filled the air, like the sound of bedsprings, which pumped a sense of immorality into my chest.
“Oh? I’m getting a bit excited here… doesn’t that mean that I’m like an actual pervert?”
“…Mmm! Not just…’Like’ one…!”
The instant I slightly lessened my assault and restriction, Tsutsukakushi opened her mouth and bit my arm. Ouch?! I could feel her teeth grinding into my flesh, forcing me to pull back my hand. As a result, Tsutsukakushi fell to the ground, convulsing like a fish that had gotten stranded on a beach.
“Oww! Don’t act like a dog… or I guess a cat. You’ll leave marks like that!”
“……”
“I really thought it was a good idea, though. Or are you just not ticklish?”
“……”
“If you can’t even laugh from physical stimulus like that, things might be more difficult than I thought.”
“……”
“…Tsutsukakushi?”
Breathing heavily as her shoulders heaved up and down, Tsutsukakushi slowly lifted her body. She fixed her skirt, patted the wrinkles out of her blouse, and fastened the ribbon on her chest. While doing this, she just stared at me, not uttering a word. Her eyes emitted a strong force.
“Um… Tsutsukakushi-san…”
“I’m not angry.”
She interrupted me with a fully monotone voice, barely pushing out one sentence devoid of any harshness or softness.
“I’m not angry at all.”
“Um…”
“I’m so not angry that I want to do a CT scan of your head, Senpai.”
“………”
“I’m so not angry at all that I hope you never touch me with even a finger of yours ever again.”
“I’m terribly sorry…”
Immediately, I lowered my head towards her. Though it was a different kind of pressure than what the Steel King would emit, I felt like I would regret it if I didn’t apologize honestly. After Tsutsukakushi stared at me for quite a while…
“It’s fine as long as you understand.”
Giving a resolute answer, she stood up. Her hands brushing the dirt off her skirt were trembling. She was clearly still not fine at all. This showed me just how necessary openly showing emotions was in order to guarantee fluent communication. Still, I didn’t think that tickling her would have been that bad of an idea. It would have been so easy if she just voiced her mind. It seems like both sides suffered damage from this. Anyway, I’d better get away before she bites me again.
“Senpai, are you really reflecting on what you just did?”
“Not at all! Ah, eh?!”
“…How honest.”
To make matters worse, she’s incredibly sharp. We really have to fix this problem as quickly as possible.
If a direct approach like that doesn’t work, there’s only one more thing to try. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. And the same goes for the Stony Cat. The only thing we can try is to take back our wishes.
We stepped through the school gate, hopped on my bike, and made our way west on the path home. The single hill was quite a distance from our school, and since Tsutsukakushi always came to school via bus, I let her ride on my bike. The pedals felt heavier, as I had to work for two now. It’s just a normal, boring bike, but having a chance to ride on it with a girl is a nice bonus.
“It’s my first time sharing a bike like this.”
Tsutsukakushi seemed to be a bit wary still, and she reluctantly wrapped her hands around my waist. It felt a bit proud, embarrassing, and somehow hard to describe.
“Your first time, huh… You’ve never ridden with a boy before?”
“I get embarrassed very easily, after all.”
“Huh. I’ve done this a few times before, but since you’re so light, I’m a bit worried that you might fall off. Could you hold on a bit more tightly?”
Of course, all of these ‘few times’ were with Ponta. He crashed his bike often, got flat tires, and so on. With him, I never had to worry about him falling off, but Tsutsukakushi is so lightweight that I’m a bit worried.
“…So you’ve done this a few times. I see. Interesting.” Tsutsukakushi muttered with an indifferent tone, putting more strength into her grip.
To be precise, she’s digging her nails right into my flesh. This actually hurts quite a bit, if I’m honest. Then again, this is probably her retaliation for the tickling earlier. Thanks to that, the trip to the hill turned into quite a memorable experience. Today, the hill seemed just as unsupervised as ever, so we slipped through the opening in the wires and made our way towards the cat statue.
…To be honest, I was giving it some thought in the back of my mind.
My thoughtless tongue and Tsutsukakushi’s indifferent expression might actually not be related at all. They might just be like a thought, or a hint of psychological influence. We just happened to pray at the Stony Cat by pure coincidence, so there might be no reason to come to the hill again. I really had just wanted to enjoy riding on a bike with a girl—But this fantasy was blown away immediately.
“This is quite the sight…”
“She sure turned plump.”
At the base of the tree stood the cat statue, awfully bigger than last time. Or, more accurately, the wooden statue had turned into a giant steamed bun.
“…That reminds me, you said that one of your steamed buns vanished, right?”
Though it was definitely hard to believe, like something straight out of a fantasy, I still found myself having to say it.
“I don’t know how, but maybe it took that steamed bun of yours? Haha.”
“…It doesn’t seem like the steamed bun is the only thing it took.”
“Eh?”
When I looked where Tsutsukakushi was pointing, I saw the steamed-bun-cat’s face. You couldn’t call it a ‘Stony Cat’ anymore. The statue was actually smiling. Even though it had been expressionless just the night prior, it now had an arrogant smile. It was grinning more like a human than the girl who had hated the fact that she was a cry baby who immediately got embarrassed at everything. It was beyond uncomfortable to look at, nearly horrifying.
“The rumour about the Stony Cat was that it would take something you didn’t need, giving it to someone else.” Tsutsukakushi spoke calmly. “It took my offering, the steamed bun, and also took away my expressions. That’s probably what happened.”
Tsutsukakushi’s voice lacked the intonation and emotion to just laugh it off as a joke. It might sound pathetic, but I actually felt my knees starting to shake. It’s not like I was scared of the (formerly) Stony Cat. I was scared of what kind of expression Tsutsukakushi had. I mean, it probably was devoid of any expression at all, but I was scared of finding out how the girl felt to have her facial expressions stolen by a cat statue.
As the weeds beneath the tree were illuminated by the setting sun, Tsutsukakushi kneeled down. Like a believer after arriving at Golgotha5, she bent her waist, lowered her head close to the ground, and started praying.
“Please return my expressions. I beg you.”
With a voice that sadly couldn’t convey how serious she must have been, and an expression that made you think she couldn’t care less, she continued to pray, on and on.
“I don’t think it’s working.”
My mouth talked before I could stop myself, and Tsutsukakushi slowly raised her head. With eyes devoid of any emotion, she looked at me.
“Why is that?”
“Because the power of the cat statue seems to be real.”
“If that’s the case, then it should return my emotions if I pray to it, right?”
“There’s no way it’ll grant every single wish. It’s taking something from someone that they don’t need and giving it to someone else. That’s all. As of right now, you need the ability to show your emotions, and I need my facade. But whoever it is that has them doesn’t think that they’re unnecessary. We can’t just pray that we receive them. We—”
Tsutsukakushi slowly opened her mouth and closed it again. She wasn’t biting her lip in the face of her own helplessness. She wasn’t looking up at me with tears in her eyes either. With a face devoid of any possible expression she could have had, she looked at me.
“We what? What should I do, then? Just stay like this? What will happen to me? Do you understand, Senpai?”
She was still on her knees, neither sitting nor standing. Her hair waved back and forth as the dusk breeze passed by, her tuft of black hair waving even more so. It looked like the tail of a cat who had lost its confidence and was barely able to get it to stand.
“If you do, then please tell me,” She spoke with a voice faint enough to vanish at any moment.
I—can’t allow myself to stay quiet. I knew I couldn’t. Because this was my duty as a man. That protecting a girl was the truest form of justice—That’s what the protagonist of an all-ages limited game I played a while ago said. After he did so, he became popular. I want to be popular as well.
Do I have anything I can say to cheer her up…? Ah, I know!
“You’re not the only one who’s been stripped of something important to them. It happened to a friend of mine as well.”
“…What happened?”
“His name’s Ponta, and he prayed to the cat statue as well. He prayed that his carnal desires would go away so he could study properly, as the desires had been getting in his way before. But the reason Ponta had to attend the supplementary exam was actually me. During the end-of-term exam of classical literature, I was supposed to collect the answer sheets and hand them to the teacher. Unintentionally, but with full knowledge of what I was doing, I made Ponta’s sheet into a paper airplane and sent it flying. Cheating really is scary, you know. But thanks to Ponta losing his carnal desires, he managed to pass the supplementary exam. This is where it gets important, because the hugging pillow he used as an offering appeared in my room. Ever since then, my own desires started to grow. When we became second-years, I could guess the three sizes of the swimsuit club girls by just a glance. But not in the perverted sense. It’s like I was their parent, watching over their daily struggles and growth, and thinking that they shouldn’t slack off or they’ll get fat. Things just derailed there. And if you mean to ask what I’m even trying to say here, then what are your three sizes?—Wait, not that. Basically, just like Ponta thought that his carnal desires were a bother, I wanted to… I wanted to…”
I myself didn’t know what I was trying to say. With no facade left, all my true feelings and thoughts came shooting out with no restraint. That’s what it felt like. Tsutsukakushi half-opened her mouth, only to let out a sigh. She turned her back to me and stood up, opening her arms and legs, stretching them out.
“Ah, wait, you’re wrong! It’s not about your three sizes! It’s just… yeah, I wanted to help you!”
“…What a helpless pervert you are,” Turning back around, Tsutsukakushi let out yet another sigh.
Stretching herself, she raised her finger right in front of my eyes.
“Basically, this is just like with your friend. We have to make the other people think that their expressions or their facade are a bother, and have them pray at the shrine about it.”
“Eh?”
“That way they should return to us, because we need them the most. I’ll be able to smile again, and Senpai will be able to control his words again—right?”
If you can’t take back your expressions or your facade, you just have to receive them back from other people. That’s what she was saying.
“R-Right! That’s a thing! That’s exactly what I wanted to say!”
“Is that so?”
“Nope, not at all! Ah…”
“You really are honest…”
“I’m sorry…”
“…Listen. If you apologize with no real heart behind it, people will know. You can’t lie at all. Since your facade is gone, people will know immediately. The person you’ll trouble the most from it is yourself. Since you’re a second-year, an adult, you must understand what I’m saying here.”
I was scolded. By a girl younger and smaller than me. It made my back feel all itchy and awkward.
“You’re too tactless without your facade, Senpai. At this rate, you’ll only be hated more and more by other girls. Are you aware of that?” Putting one hand on her waist, Tsutsukakushi continued scolding me.
Inside her transparent eyes were no traces of gloom left. Instead, the bright sky was reflected in her blue eyes. I completely forgot that she was angry at me and found myself just entranced at this sight.
“For crying out loud…” Tsutsukakushi let out her third sigh, stretching out her right hand.
She looked all over me, clearly confused about what she was doing, and forcefully took my hand.
“I can’t keep looking at you like this. So I’ll help you. I’ll help you find someone who doesn’t need their facade.”
Even though she was holding my hand tightly, she asked ‘Is that okay?’, sounding slightly hesitant, as she looked up at me.
“…Ah, yeah! Let’s also look for someone who’d want to hide their expressions!”
Basically, to put it more directly, this was a cooperative alliance, or so I think. She was missing her true expressions and voice, and I needed my facade. I put more strength into my grip, and she returned in kind. The handshake, symbolizing the rebellion against the cat statue, continued for quite some time. I smiled, and Tsutsukakushi didn’t. She just nodded along several times, still with no expression on her face.
1 Azusa in this context are limited express services, whereas Hikari another train service
3 Japanese demon
4 Her name is written as Moon child
5 I chose this over Calvary here, but it’s the site of Jesus’ crucifixion.
CClaw Translations 