Hentai Ouji to Warawanai Neko. Volume 1 Chapter 3

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The fairy won’t get angry

I’d like you to give some general opinions concerning the idea of a ‘facade’. If you look the word up in the dictionary, it will say something to the effect of ‘The face of a building’ or ‘An outward appearance that is maintained to conceal a less pleasant or creditable reality.’ Although it might sound like it, it’s not complicated at all. It’s simply that in order to protect yourself, you don’t openly state your true thoughts or feelings—or rather, having a facade means that you can’t.

Think about it this way. If you’re sexually harassed by a Perverted Prince and you think about your future prospects and you decide to forgive him, that’s a facade. On the inside, of course, your true feelings are telling you to get back at him. But however you choose to respond, it’s still a possibility that you’ll act either way.

For example: Pattern number one involves complicated emotions due to puberty. A shy girl bursts out in tears due to the sexual harassment and is crying in her bed at home. ‘Why can’t I just be a bit more confident… I hate how weak I am… I don’t need my facade anymore!’

The second pattern is the young maiden in love. The violent girl who immediately retaliates against sexual harassment, but looks at herself in the mirror at home and feels bad about it. ‘Why can’t I be more ladylike? At this rate, that person will never look at me romantically… Ahh, I want to hide my true feelings!’

“So my plan is to corner them on it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Don’t you think that sexual harassment for the greater good is a pretty cool idea?”

“Senpai, do you actually want every single girl in the world to hate you?” Tsutsukakushi said with a serious expression (as always).

It felt like I had been stabbed by a sharp knife. Unable to think of a good comeback, I just acted like I was counting the spots on the ceiling as I kept quiet. No one came to the school infirmary during lunch break. The place was calm and quiet. While lying sideways on the bed like this, I couldn’t help thinking about how kids would play doctor and patient. In this case, Tsutsukakushi would be the doctor. She had prepared an ice bag for me instead of the school nurse, who was out for a meeting.

“So you catcalled the one person you should have never tried mocking, and you were immediately sent flying.” Pressing the ice bag against my swollen cheek, Tsutsukakushi sighed.

“You’re wrong! That makes it sound like I enjoy being handled roughly! I didn’t want them to just hit me like that, okay?!”

Still, trying to harass the Steel King was definitely the wrong decision, especially if I treasured my life. But there was no guarantee that the club president didn’t actually suffer from this whole true-feelings-vs-facade battle. Indeed, since she’s referred to as the ‘Steel King,’ the odds of her actually being a secret maiden in love can’t be disregarded! There’s no character who deserves to be conquered more than her! Or so I had thought this morning, and here’s how it played out.

“Club President, good morning! What wonderful weather we’re having! When did those breasts or yours start growing? What year in grade school?”

I asked what I had always wanted to know right at the beginning of morning practice in front of the track-and-field club.

“The Perverted Prince has thrown the white glove at the Steel King! The bell to start the battle for the crown has sounded!”

The other club members really didn’t get it at all. There’s no way a fight would start there. After all, I was too embarrassed to say that to her face, which is why I shouted at her from around 100 meters away. Thus, the instant I saw the Steel King start dashing towards me like a mad beast, I ran away at lighting speed. I ran straight ahead, cutting through the wind. You shouldn’t underestimate a club member of the track-and-field club who is currently on break.

…That being said, there’s the minor problem that the Steel King is just infinitely faster than me. That’s a bit weird, because I thought Steel King’s speciality was the javelin throw.

“That might have been the most cheerful greeting I’ve heard in years. I’ll give you three choices. First, I can hit you so much that your bones and personality change. Second, you can apologize by cutting your stomach open. Third, you can be buried in the ground and be recycled naturally into the earth. Now choose. All three? Got it.”

A little ways away from the school gate, she caught me.

“The greatest author of the 19th century, Oscar Wilde, once said: ‘We all look at Nature too much, and live with her too little’! Your breasts have been growing lately, am I wrong? I want to not simply watch them grow even further, but rather be an active part of enjoying them as I calculate how much they grow! In a purely aesthetic sense! Don’t you think that’s a good idea?”

I was punched immediately.

“Your illness has progressed extremely far. What do you call this emotion again… Ah, that’s right, shock. Ahh, it pains me that I can only bless you with my iron fist… The track-and-field club can wait until you’ve fully recovered, so take your time.”

“…I am moved to tears. Let me show this gratitude from between those two big bulges that hide your big heart!”

I was punched once more. Thanks to that, my cheek swelled up like a potato, and thus I’ve been writhing in agony in the school infirmary from morning until now.

“I still think that she might have been holding back. Then again, I’m glad that we know the Steel King doesn’t have a problem with a facade that makes her hide her true feelings.”

“…She’s pretty strong, isn’t she? If Pervert-san said something like that to me, I wouldn’t hesitate to start crying, even in front of other people.” Tsutsukakushi shook her head left and right, like she was admiring me and ridiculing me at the same time.

“Y-You’d start crying? So this operation isn’t going to work?”

“It’s the worst. And I’m quite the crybaby… or rather, I was.”

Tsutsukakushi corrected herself, scrubbing her cheek. Of course, said cheek was as expressionless as ever.

A week had passed since we prayed on top of that hill. There were harsh repercussions on my body during our search, but despite all this we couldn’t find anyone who had a facade. Instead, my image as the Perverted Prince had only been solidified even further. Any girl I ran across would keep at least two meters between us. They seemed to think that if they met eyes with me, they’d be assaulted. How rude. Even I have the right to choose which girl I want. I said as much, but I shouldn’t have, because then the distance they kept from me went up to four meters.

At this rate, I won’t even have to worry about becoming the next club president anymore, because my life will fall apart first. Even now, I still wasn’t allowed to go back to the track-and-field club. It left me wondering if the Steel King was awfully strict, or actually really kind.

“Now that you mention it, I’m also taking time off from my club.” Tsutsukakushi said in a reminiscent way as she munched on her lunch box, sitting next to my bed in the school infirmary.

It’s not like it matters a whole lot, but it was a ridiculously large lunchbox. I’d love it if she shared some with me. It’s not like I could eat any with my cheek like this, though.

“What club are you in, anyway, Tsutsukakushi?”

“The child welfare club.”

“Ahhh, the club that goes to visit nursery schools and children’s homes, right.”

They would put on puppet shows or play hide and seek or such, trying to promote healthy growth of the children at those places. That’s what the goal of the child welfare club is. It’s quite the surprising choice for Tsutsukakushi, if I do say so myself.

“But thanks to this monotone voice, I can’t even read a book to them, and since I’m unable to smile or laugh, it would only make the children uncomfortable to be around me… Why are you smiling now?”

“It’s nothing. Just when you say that you’re taking care of children, it makes me picture a child taking care of another one, and everyone around them aren’t able to tell which is the child and which is the adult. It sounds really funny.”

“Funny, is it? I see.”

“Eh?! T-This is not what I really think!”

“So that’s your true feelings leaking out. If I may say so, it’s none of your business.” She kicked the bed with her grade-school-girl-sized legs. “This potato with root vegetables boiled in broth is very delicious, but I just decided to not give you any. Ever.”

“…Well, this whole situation is really bothersome for me, but I guess you’re the same as ever, huh?”

“What a great summary. I still won’t give you any, though.”

“Ha ha ha… I guess we have to hurry and do something about this. What’s your family think about all this, by the way?”

Since their young daughter suddenly stopped smiling, they must be worried beyond belief. Tsutsukakushi gave a short start and froze with her chopsticks mid-bite. Her cold gaze loitered about the floor.

“My family… isn’t really bothered by this. They’re busy with themselves,” She said, continuing her lunch like nothing happened.

They’re not worried at all when their daughter lost all expression on her face? Ridiculous. I’ve heard that when there’s a girl in the family, the family is super close, and the father is insanely clingy. At least, that’s what I read in a magazine once. She started shoveling her food into her mouth after that, though, giving me no chance to break in with a question. It was obvious that she didn’t want me to ask.

Naturally, I’ll still ask! I’m not interested in crime shows, but I totally adore the kinds of shows when people grab someone off a street corner and start grilling them about their personal lives!

“Um, Tsutsukakushi, about your family—”

Before I could finish my sentence, I heard the sound of someone moving from the bed across the curtains. Tsutsukakushi raised her head, and I stopped mid-question. We had no idea who had been there. I’ve been here nursing my cheek all through the entire first period. So they got here even before that?

Tsutsukakushi closed her lunch box, and I sat up cross-legged on the bed with the ice bag in one hand. Apparently, I had missed my chance to ask about her family. When the curtain opened, the person who appeared there was the rich girl fairy, who had apparently just woken up.

“Ugh, it’s the pervert from a while ago.”

Azuki Azusa. Yawning not-so-gracefully, and glaring at me with sleepy eyes, she greeted me with blatant disdain. I wonder if it’s a good idea for a noble lady like her to be seen in such a fashion. Azuki Azusa herself realized that this might not have been the best move, so she cleared her throat.

“Hello there. Are you a first-year student? Feel free to use this bed.”

She then turned towards Tsutsukakushi, trying for a second time. She acted like I wasn’t even present. Tsutsukakushi didn’t respond. She just glanced between Azuki Azusa and I, as if trying to figure out what sort of relationship we had. Not really ‘as if’. It was obvious that she was giving me the cold shoulder with eyes as sharp as a serpent’s, a reaction most of the girls in this school had towards me. As a side note, Tsutsukakushi still had no expression on her face, which made it seem like she was staring in the depths of my soul with a cold gaze.

Anybody would be taken aback from receiving such a gaze from an underclassman upon meeting them for the first time. And that was certainly true of Azuki Azusa. She stood between the two beds, visibly flustered. Alright, I guess it’s time for me to disarm the situation.

“Yo, Azuki Azusa. Did you have a good rest?”

“…Don’t talk to me, pervert. Why would you ask me that, pervert?”

“Because there’s still some drool hanging down your cheek!”

Azuki Azusa immediately covered her mouth. Seconds afterwards, she turned beet red. I held a tissue out to her, and she grabbed it without a second thought and started wiping her face.

“Of course, considering that you’re a noble lady, I’d say that your drool is basically the same thing as high fashion, right?”

“T-That’s right! It was all on purpose! Could you not point out useless things like that? It’s akin to giving a fluffy penguin a down jacket.”

“I totally get that. Then I should also keep quiet about the fact that your bed hair is standing up, the buttons of your blouse are open to a dangerous degree, and your skirt is wrinkled, right? That means that instead of you just having bad sleeping posture, you’re actually inviting me, aren’t you?”

Azuki Azusa’s facial color turned from red to blue, only to turn red once again. It almost looked like a traffic light, and I felt like teasing her some more about it. She frantically tried to fix her loose strands of hair that were sticking out in every direction. She hid her almost-completely-revealed chest and used the other hand to fix her skirt, but she ended up trying to do it all at once and failed miserably. Eventually, she escaped behind the curtains again.

“There is no way that a noble lady like yourself would get up without checking her own attire and appearance first, so that must have been on purpose as well, right?”

“Huh?! W-Well… of course… Don’t say such unrefined things!”

“My, I’m getting excited over here. But I don’t feel like it right now, so maybe invite me another time, okay?”

“Urgh… Even though you’re just a pervert…”

Her voice was shaking in frustration and humiliation, and yet her thick head wouldn’t allow her to just admit that she had been careless after getting up. Staying true to yourself definitely is a good thing, but if she keeps trying to preserve her pride as a noblewoman, she might lose something important to her.

“If I may be so rude,” Tsutsukakushi calmly opened her mouth. “What kind of relationship might you have with Senpai—Yokodera-senpai?” It was her same calm voice as usual.

Considering that she was choosing to ask this right now, if I was forced to guess between Tsutsukakushi being an S or M, I would definitely lean towards calling her an S. What I can’t understand is why she’s staring at my face with such deep passion, making me feel as if I’m the one she’s asking, too. Then again, this isn’t the first time I haven’t been able to read her expression at all.

“R-Relationship?! With this pervert…”

“Don’t tell me… A noble lady such as yourself is wild enough to invite someone you aren’t even associated with in any way.”

“You damned… Urk… Th-That’s right, maybe something along the lines of ‘If a fish is friendly with the water, the water will be kind to the fish too’!” She said this with an awfully boastful tone of voice.

In reality, though, she was only hurting herself. In the end, she was unable to keep up the delusion. She finished fixing her clothes and stormed out of the school infirmary. I only caught a brief glimpse of her face, but I could see that she was blushing profusely. To be fair, though, she was just asking for it, don’t you think? Is she that desperate to keep up her image as a rich, noble lady?

“I see. Water and fish, is it?”

“Tsutsukakushi, stop kicking the bed for no reason! Forget about fish and submarines or whatever. From my point of view, it’s just that her pride is hurting her.” I put the ice bag against my cheek again. It still hurt, and I held back a moan of pain.

Sometimes life really slaps you across the face, but life still ain’t half bad. Tsutsukakushi for her part gave me a long stare before she spoke again.

“It’s true that she seems way too proud… but is it true that you’re not going out?”

“If I said that we were dating and you weren’t around, she’d probably stab me repeatedly.”

“So what you were saying was just a joke?”

“I was trying to distract her, or something like that. What about it?”

“No, it’s fine then. By the way, wasn’t she talking with a facade just now?”

She said it as lightly as she possibly could, and we stared at each other.

Question: What are we currently looking for?

Answer: People who have either overly honest feelings and expressions, and people who have a facade.

We decided to establish an ‘Azuki Azusa Observation & Investigation Team’. The leader of said team was Tsutsukakushi, the chief of staff was Tsutsukakushi, the secretary was Tsutsukakshi as well, and I was granted the role of lackey for menial tasks.

“Azuki Azusa. Class 2-2, seat number 2. Aquarius. Blood-type A. Not a part of any club. Transferred here this April as a second-year student. Arrives at school every morning in a black car. Likes many different clothing brands. Wears a different watch every day. Has received multiple love letters. Has in turn rejected several boys. As of late, the way she’s rejected them has grown more and more flashy. No boyfriend to date. No friends by name. Though she seems to be well-off, she does seem to have a weak constitution.”

Tsutsukakushi carefully took notes from everything I said. On the table in front of us stood two glasses of water and a plate of curry rice.

“…Let me ask something unrelated to this. Aren’t you the type of person who brings a lunch box to school, Tsutsukakushi? Did you not make one today or something?”

“I already ate it.”

“Then what’s that curry for?”

“I have a second stomach for it.”

“This is the first I’ve heard of that!”

Where do you fit all that in such a small body? Or rather, why aren’t you growing like crazy, then? Is this the mystery of the human body? In the meantime, she traded her pencil for a spoon and held it out with a bit of curry on it out towards me. I just shook my head, indicating that my cheek still hurt. With a noncommittal grunt, Tsutsukakushi put down her spoon and picked up the pencil again.

“When you put it all together like this, it seems like she will be a difficult enemy.” She observed the object of our observation with the edge of her gaze.

This very Azuki Azusa was in the dead center of the cafeteria, eating her lunch all alone in a composed manner. She gracefully ate her meal, with her hairstyle done up like a true noblewoman. She had an expensive-looking ring on her finger, and we could catch glimpses of an even more-expensive-looking watch on her wrist. When you combine that with the ‘reward time’ that happens every morning, it’s little wonder that nobody dares to approach her.

As a result, Azuki Azusa always ended up alone. Then again, she herself didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest. She was just showered by everyone’s silent gazes, standing proud up top of the mountain as a beautiful, icy flower. If only she would just get off her high horse she might become super popular, considering how cute and rich she is. Though her breasts are still flat.

“That reminds me, I did call her flat in front of a lot of people that time.”

“Indeed you did. Like a true pervert.”

“But she never insulted me back or anything. Don’t you think that’s a bit weird? She seems to have quite a complex about it.”

“Maybe she just didn’t want to talk about topics like that. I feel the same way right now.”

“Haha, that was a good one! Your jokes really hit home sometimes, Tsutsukakushi!”

“No, I wasn’t joking in the absolute slightest just now.”

“Eh, why are you getting up? Wait, wait. You’re wrong, she just tried dragging me off to a deserted place. Probably because she didn’t want to burst out in anger in front of the others. Just like back at the school infirmary. She’s trying to keep her face as a noble lady. But no matter how strong your facade may be, this sort of thing is just impossible. That’s why—”

I pointed at the choker around Azuki Azusa’s neck. It was an accessory that emphasized how white her neck was. It almost looked like a pet collar.

“I was starting to wonder if that wasn’t actually mine. It looks awful similar to the leather belt I lost when I prayed to the Stony Cat.”

“……Eh?” Tsutsukakushi dropped her pen, blinking.

After thorough observation and investigation, that was the conclusion I arrived at. The size was a tiny bit smaller than it was before, but considering how the stony cat got a lot bigger after eating one steamed bun, nothing seemed impossible.

“Ponta’s hugging pillow and carnal desires were both given to me. In your case, the cat statue took your steamed bun and your smile. And Azuki Azusa has my leather belt. That’s what it is, I think.”

I had all the pieces, and they fit together just like a jigsaw puzzle.

“The reason she’s been saying things to keep up her facade is because she’s the person who got mine. From what I’ve heard, the boys have gone through some training recently to make it more difficult for her to brush them off, but over the past week, she’s gotten more intense than ever before. Almost like she got a power-up.”

“…Is that so?”

After picking up her pen, Tsutsukakushi started scribbling in her notes again. She directed her gaze upwards as if she was pondering what I said.

“Let’s assume… that she ended up with your facade, Senpai. Isn’t that pretty bad?”

“Why?”

“She received the facade because she deemed it necessary. Wouldn’t that mean that she would be more desperate than anyone else to keep it?”

“—That’s not true!” I slammed my hands on the table out of impulse.

Tsutsukakushi quickly glanced back at me.

“People should return the things that don’t belong to them!”

“That is technically true, but bringing that up would be—”

“I’ll go tell her right away!”

“Senpai, don’t tell me…”

I got up from my chair. What Tsutsukakushi was saying was perfectly reasonable. Azuki Azusa definitely was a formidable enemy, and taking back my facade might prove terribly difficult. But so what? I’m working my butt off here. I’m being slapped and punched all over the place, and Azuki Azusa is just living in peace! And she’s flat! I won’t forgive her!

I pushed aside any course of action that wasn’t direct. I strode purposefully towards the target herself, Azuki Azusa, and stood still in front of her. With as much determination as I could muster…

“Azuki Azusa! Return my precious thing!” I said with an angry roar.

The cafeteria fell to stark silence. Dubious gazes stared at both of us. That still didn’t reduce my anger. My cheek still hurt, and half of that was her fault.

“I’ve been watching you this entire time! And then I realized why! You stole my everything, Azuki Azusa! I can’t keep living like this! This pain! This frustration! Only you can heal it! So take responsibility!”

“Wha…” Azuki Azusa’s eyes opened wide, as if she had just been hit with a powerful blow.

From the choker upwards, her entire face turned as red as a tomato. After a short silence, giving everyone enough time to take in the situation, the spectators started to get hyped.

…The Perverted Prince is taking new measures! He’s changed his target from the Steel King to the Noble Lady instead! I thought that he was pretty obstinate and concerned about her. The Prince’s confession is totally on another level! He totally acts like a pervert, doesn’t he? I even got goosebumps. What would I do if I had thought of this? How would I answer? As for Azuki Azusa’s reward time—

“Y-You gross pervert…! W-Well, I guess that even guinea pigs understand the concepts of pain and suffering. So, what can you do for me…?”

—What are you doing here? Are you picking a fight with me?

The glare in her eyes was enough to kill a man. In reality, she probably wanted to brutally strangle me to death. But the thing that stopped her, that forced her to keep her lips, as beautiful as flower petals, shut, was the fact that she was conscious of the people around. It was the facade of a noble lady that forced her to stay calm. The facade that she stole from me.

“Damn it! I really want your everything, Azuki Azusa! Right here, right now!”

“E-E-E-Everything?!”

“But I won’t be so selfish as to ask for that. At the very least… let me stay by your side! 24/7! Whenever, wherever! If you want me to, I’ll open both my heart and body so that we can share this precious thing between the two of us!”

“Wha… Wha…?!”

“You said it before, didn’t you?! To show how serious I was! That’s fine by me!”

When I went to grab her hand, she reflexively pulled it away as fast as she could. Her true feelings were starting to show. But I didn’t give up with just that. I continued to try to grab her hand until we had gotten right into each others’ faces.

“…Stop it! I get it, I get it already!” Azuki Azusa screamed in defeat.

She glanced at our surroundings and then glared back at me, her true feelings and facade colliding.

“The lover of a pervert, what a bad jo—No, there has to be an order to things, don’t you agree? If you do, then… let’s see… carrying my things… No, my shoe warmer… Not that either… something that would please a pervert… A pet! That’s right, I really wanted a pet! If you’re fine with that, then I don’t mind keeping you. Though I won’t hold it against you if you—”

“Woof!”

I put my right hand on Azuki Azusa’s lap and crouched down. Basically, I was doing a handshake pose like a trained dog would.

“W-What?! What are you doing?! You’re a pet, you know!”

“Of course I do, woof! If I can stay with you, I don’t mind becoming an actual dog!” I shouted louder than an athlete taking an oath of fair play. Taking Azuki Azusa’s hand, I barked once more. I’m so happy to be her pet, woof!

Needless to say, I was just as embarrassed myself. But, if I were to hold a mental horse race between the two teams of ‘I want my facade back’ and ‘Being a noble lady’s pet is humiliating’, then those two teams would just work together and instead do group gymnastics. Then again, I’m the one who agreed to it, so I’m not going to go back on my word.

“Y-Yay… I’m as happy as a curled-up cheetah…” Azuki Azusa slumped back into her chair, devoid of any strength.

It looked like the curls of her chestnut-colored hair had lost every motivation to live.

‘…How could this happen? The impregnable noble lady has fallen! Even though I confessed to her so many times before! Yeah, same here. The Perverted Prince threw away his everything and managed to obtain true love. What a beautiful story~’

I heard faint whispers of the people around us, and it didn’t take long until the cafeteria turned into a mess. That day, I class-changed from Prince to Dog.

*

2nd of September (Thursday) Clear with a few clouds.

I get up at 7am.

Just as always, I sit and wait at the school gate. Passersby keep saying things like ‘How commendable’ or ‘What are you, Hachiko?’

9.20am. Azuki Azusa is brought to school by car. I greet her. She runs away again. I search for her until homeroom starts, without any success.

Recess. I go over to Azuki Azusa’s class. She’s not here. I look around her desk. I find her phone with a flashy strap on it. There are no phone numbers or email addresses registered. I’m the first.

Recess. I go over to the school infirmary. She’s not there either. I go up to the roof. She’s there in the shadows of the water tank. She’s sleeping. She’s drooling. She has a horrible sleeping posture. I put down a letter next to her head. ‘I came to deliver something you dropped. And I wiped away the drool on your face’.

Recess. I go up to the rooftop. Her sleeping posture is even worse than before. Her belly is in plain sight. Oh Lord. With an oil-based pen, I draw something on her navel. I also take a commemorative picture. I title it ‘Bursting Tanuki and the Moon.’ I email that picture to her.

Lunch break. Azuki Azusa comes to me. She’s smiling as brightly as ever. We go on a walk. Everyone is smiling, and so am I. The joys of being a pet. We arrive at the back side of the courtyard. She grabs me by the neck. She takes my phone. She erases the data. She deletes her email address off of it. She lectures me. She strangles me even more.

Recess. I go over to Azuki Azusa’s class. I say ‘I’m reflecting on it.’ She ignores me. I prostrate myself. ‘I will never play with your bellybutton ever again.’ The people around us grow noisy.

After school ended. While reading a dirty book, I try coming up with a plan. Maybe I should chase after my master a bit more, since she doesn’t seem to be as energetic recently. Maybe I should wear a swimsuit. If she did that for me, I’d be very happy.

I go to bed around 1am.

*

“So you’re enjoying your life as a pet, I see. What a helpless pervert you are.”

“It feels like you’re using some barbed words there!”

“Just your imagination. You can’t hear my true emotions, so it just sounds like it.” Tsutsukakushi said with an ice cold voice.

Although her expression is the same as usual, it feels like Tsutsukakushi has been acting more annoyed than usual recently. In that sense, she’s like a cat in a bad mood, and she won’t even admit to it.

It’s Sunday, and sadly it looks like it’s going to rain today. The two of us met up for our second progress report meeting, and we decided to visit the town next to ours. The private railway we took on this damp afternoon was so empty that I was almost worried. Because of this, we had our choice of seats, and we sat next to each other.

“This isn’t a date, huh…”

This was nothing more than a strategy meeting. I’m painfully aware of that, but when I looked over at Tsutsukakushi, who was wearing a hat that looked like a cookie and a chocolate-colored pleated skirt, she looked so cute that she gave the impression that she was from the Land of Sweets. It made me want to hug her immediately. It’s not like I actually would, though. If I did, she’d treat me even more horribly, telling me something like ‘What are you doing with that hand?’ with a deadpan voice.

“…Are you thinking about something rude?”

“I-I would never! I wasn’t thinking about you in the slightest!”

“So you weren’t… I see.” Tsutsukakushi stretched out her legs and tapped the heels of her shoes together.

As always, I had no way of reading her expression. I’d better change the topic before she gets angry.

“A-Anyway, it’s not like I’m a real pet now or anything. I was hoping that there might be developments like ‘Master, woof woof! Carry me! Beg! Rewards! Brushing! Taking a bath together!’–But I was sorely disappointed.”

“What were you anticipating? What a pervert.”

“I-I mean, Azuki Azusa is a rich and noble lady… It seems like she was spoiled a lot growing up. Look at her sleeping posture. It’s like nobody warned her, like ever.”

“You’re talking like you’ve seen that sleeping posture many times.”

“Not too many times, to be honest. She’s been avoiding me a lot, so I haven’t had a chance to.”

Azuki Azusa has a facade. But that facade is just to protect herself in front of others. It doesn’t include keeping a pet and diligently taking care of it. On top of that, our classes are just too far apart. The best I can do is go talk to her during recess, but during the morning and after classes, it’s a game of tag.

“That’s why there’s been no progress to note. I thought that if she started hating me more, she’d start thinking that she didn’t need her facade anymore. If I go about it half-assed, it’s only going to cause both of us to suffer more.”

“Then what are you going to do now?”

“That’s what I wanted to discuss with you. Do you have any idea?”

“How about you just give up on Azuki-san?”

“I can’t run away when the enemy is right in front of me! I know she’s got my facade, so I can’t just let it slide!”

“…Is that really all of it?” Tsutsukakushi sighed.

The train arrived at the train station. Before I could ask what she meant, she was already making her way towards the platform. Yeah, this really wasn’t a date at all. If we were a couple, we’d walk there arm in arm. Though I’ve only seen that in TV dramas before.

Now then. There was actually a reason why we moved our meeting location to the city next to ours. And that was… this.

“An animal cafe…?”

“When I looked it up, it had quite a good reputation, so I wanted to come here with you, Tsutsukakushi.”

After walking down the main street from the train station and going through a complex back alley, we were greeted by a brickwork building, which stood beautiful even in the rainy landscape. The sign outside was decorated with dog and cat paw prints, even. Closing her polka-dotted umbrella, Tsutsukakushi read the pamphlet.

—Inside the store, we have free-roaming cats and dogs who will greet our dear customers. Come heal your hearts with both the animals and some delicious sweets.

“Sounds great. Are we going in?” Tsutsukakushi nodded in consent.

I didn’t miss the fact that the toes of her boots jumped up a bit. There’s basically a general unwritten rule that all girls like small animals. I read online that this was actually quite a famous spot for dates that girls seemed to really enjoy. Now I can improve Tsutsukakushi’s mood… and have her help me with the Azuki Azusa conquering plan as well. That’s the official reason, anyway.

The true reason, the reason that drove me to choose this location was the fact that the waitresses here all wear costumes. They wore animal ears, tails, and frilly aprons. It was an animal maid cafe, if you will. On top of that, if you ask for it, they’ll greet you by saying ‘Woof woof, welcome back, Master!’ or feed you with ‘Please open wide, nya~’, which would honestly be like a dream come true for me. I’ll have to invite Ponta here sometime. Naturally, I’ll have to keep this a secret from Tsutsukakushi at all costs.

“…I see. So the waitresses here were the real reason.”

“E-Eh?! I didn’t say anything yet!”

“I could tell by the look in your eyes, Senpai.”

The instant we stepped inside, I was found out. After we were guided to our table, Tsutsukakushi rested her chin in her hands, clearly not happy.

“There’s no way you would come here for any other reason than to see girls.”

“I-I mean, that’s true, but… I thought that seeing some cats and dogs sounded pretty fun as well… That was at least 10% of it.”

At my feet, I could feel small puppies and kittens playing around. They looked like small balls of fur, and they let out cute voices of enjoyment. Even the expressionless Tsutsukakushi couldn’t remain mad after seeing them. She shrugged her shoulders.

“I’m joking. This really is a nice store… And I do have to agree that the waitresses have really cute outfits.”

“Right?! The paws, ears, aprons, and entire body look so fluffy, but it’s actually calming. It makes you feel like this is what romance in Japan has been all about since days of old!”

“I don’t really understand the romance of it, but I’d like to try the outfits on sometime.”

“I’d love to see you cosplay at least once, Tsutsukakushi.”

“I’d be great if looking at me would be all you did.”

“It definitely wouldn’t be!”

“Then I definitely wouldn’t wear it.”

While the two of us were busy chit-chatting, an employee appeared from the back of the cafe, carrying us some tea on a tray. She was wearing a short skirt and kneesocks, with animal paws poking out underneath. She had a leopard-print design on her blouse and tiger ears in her chestnut-colored hair. She also had a choker around her neck, which really looked like a collar in this context, as well as an white apron. She gave off a mixed impression of being wild yet docile at the same time, which just increased her charm even more. Well, sadly she was as flat as it gets, so there’s still room to improve. Now that I think about it, she sure resembles someone I know.

“…Wha, wh-why…”

Right right, that girl’s expression would immediately show what she’s feeling…Wait.

“It’s the real deal!”

“Why are you here, pervert?!”

Azuki Azusa was so shocked that she clutched the tray she was holding to her chest. As a result, the teacups fell to the ground, tea splattering everywhere. The small animals under the table immediately scattered.

“Senpai… How did you know she worked here?”

“I didn’t! This is just a coincidence!” I shook my head several times.

I’m the one who’s the most surprised here. Why would a rich and noble lady like her be working part-time here?!

“If this really was a coincidence, then why would you come all the way out here?! This is pretty far away from school! Is it because you’re a pervert?! It is, isn’t it?!”

The animal maid Azuki Azusa so flustered that tears even started building up in the corners of her eyes. Her hands, covered in the paw-like gloves, were shaking along with the tray she was holding.

“That kind of goes without saying, but maybe first you should take care of the teacups?”

The one who remained the calmest during this ordeal was Tsutsukakushi. The fact that she had no expression whatsoever really helped. Also, what exactly did she say went without saying?

“I am terribly sorry about this. Azusa-chan, you’re serving customers here.”

The manager quickly cleaned up the floor, and spoke to Azuki Azusa in a whisper. When she heard that, her petrification was dissolved, and she bowed forward slightly.

“…Good day, Master. Please give whatever order you desire to your pet.”

She moved with practiced actions, and her fluffy tail shook back and forth. Though it pains me to admit it, I was completely enticed by that slight movement of her ears and tail.

“In that case… I’d like the Japanese cutlet along with the ‘Get fed by the animal maid’ option.”

“H-Huh?! Wha… eh, Master, that’s…”

“Do you have any complaints about this? I’m the Master here, and you’re…Ouch!”

Right when I started to really get into this role-reversal situation, I felt my shin being kicked beneath the table. Naturally, the perpetrator wasn’t Azuki Azusa who was about to explode in front of me. Said shoe kicking my shin came from across the table. So Tsutsukakushi dislikes jokes like this?!

“We’d like to order sandwiches and a plate of rice cakes on the side.”

Why would she order such a small amount of food? Wasn’t she a crazy eater? I’d love to enjoy this sight a bit more, so why would she do this to me?

“Understood. I’ll try my best for my dear Master, nya—Urgh…” Azuki Azusa raised both her hands like a beckoning cat, only to lament silently to herself afterwards.

It was a polar opposite kind of pose than she’d make during her harsh ‘reward time’ at school. I’d love to take her home like this… Then again, Tsutsukakushi’s order was likely the correct choice, and we really can’t stay here for too long right now. After all, when Azuki Azusa brought the new tea to our table, she slammed it down and gave me a gaze that could kill, while Tsutsukakushi was busy stepping on my foot every three seconds while she played with the cats and dogs, giving me a gaze like she expected me to immediately jump at any passing animal maid.

How horrible of them. Nobody has any trust in me. Does she even know why we came here in the first place? Because I sure don’t remember.

“I didn’t think we could talk about Azuki-san at all while we were there. She could have overheard us.”

We actually only stayed for about ten minutes in that cafe. The instant we left, Tsutsukakushi let out a sigh. Of course, she was the one who had eaten the rice cakes and the sandwiches.

“She was loitering around our table for sure… And Senpai, you forgot all about our initial goal, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I could only think about how great it would be if Tsutsukakushi wore an animal maid uniform!”

“…Is that so?” Another sigh.

She’s been at it for a while now. Seeing her like that did make me feel a bit guilty.

“S-Still, we managed to find out about her secret. Nobody else probably knows that our dear noble lady is actually working part-time.”

“I don’t like that look on your face.”

“I mean, now at least we have a card to play against her. Our school rules forbid any kind of part-time work, too. It’s time to give that arrogant bourgeois, who’s busy treating a commoner like a pet, a taste of her own medicine!”

“Though I feel like calling into question your awareness of all sides of this matter, what exactly are you thinking of doing? You aren’t planning on telling the teachers, are you?”

“Hmm… Maybe I should have gigantic photos of the animal maid outfit printed out and hang banners from the school rooftop?”

“I’m not sure that’d solve any problems concerning true feelings and facades. That seems like it’d be the kind of harassment a pervert would do.”

“Grrr…” I couldn’t come up with any way to disprove what she was saying, and neither did I have any alternate plans.

My head just went blank. So all that is in store for me is a boring future? The rain following us as we walked along the street grew more intense, and I started to shiver ever so slightly, even though it was the middle of summer. In this grey world, the only source of light were the streetlights shining in the rain. While I was left wondering how to handle this situation, Tsutsukakushi observed our surroundings for a second.

“…It can’t be helped, then.” Letting out a sigh, she pulled my arm and dragged me towards a building with a neon sign hanging on it.

It had a heart drawn right next to the words ‘Resting Area’. Ahh, I know what this is. It’s the place a boy and a girl will visit if they get in good enough of a mood, to avoid prying eyes. Specifically, it’s a love ho—

“—tel?! Huh?! What’s going on?!”

“Shhh. Keep quiet.”

“H-How could I keep quiet?! We’re still in high school, right?! You can’t do that if there’s no love involved!”

“That line sounds awfully familiar. And what are you even talking about?” Tsutsukakushi just calmly pulled me up to the door.

There was some direct and pretty indecent information written on the slightly dirty walls of the building. There were no people around, and a sour scent wafted to my nose. The building did have an open entrance at the front. It said that two hours cost 4,000 yen, and there were food delivery, vending machines, and lotion options. Words like these were written on the walls. Of course, my virgin mind went into overdrive. My head started spinning so much that I started finding it difficult to walk.

Am I going to climb the stairs to adulthood this early? Am I Cinderella? Wouldn’t that make Tsutsukakushi the prince?

“I… I might be inexperienced… but please treat me well…”

“What are you saying?”

Tsutsukakushi pretended to enter through the front door, but she pushed the fire escape door open instead. There was a sound of rusty metal grinding, and then the emergency stairs greeted us.

“…Eh?”

“Here we’re at least under a roof, so we’ll have shelter from the rain.”

“Shelter from the rain…? What’s going on? I totally thought I was going to… with Tsutsukakushi…”

I’d barely finished saying that when Tsutsukakushi hit me on the chest, shaking her head furiously.

“What do you mean ‘with Tsutsukakushi’? Actually, don’t say it. Keep those fantasies away from me so that I can keep my code of ethics. If not, I’ll get angry.”

Mid-way through the sentence, she tripped on the stairs, falling down and landing on her butt at the bottom. Unfazed, she pointed the tip of her folded umbrella towards the red brick building that was the Animal Western Cafe across the street.

“This can be our shelter from the rain while we wait for Azuki-san. When I went to wash my hands at the cafe earlier, I caught a glimpse of their shift board in the kitchen. It looks like her shift will end soon, so we can just wait for her and talk to her when she comes out.”

“T-Talk to her? About what?”

“Tell her we’ll tell the school about her part-time work. Though it makes me feel cowardly to resort to such methods, if we tell her that straight to her face, she might start hating you enough to actually listen. Since she’s already had bad enough of a time with Senpai recently, she might decide that it’s easier to just get rid of her facade immediately.”

“Ahhh…”

If we talked about it at school, someone might overhear us, or someone might barge in to interrupt us. Catching her here was a much better location to corner her. I understood Tsutsukakushi’s intentions, and they made perfect sense to me. That being said…

“Tell me the plan earlier, then! I thought you were going to just waltz into that hotel, which really made me get my hopes up!”

“…So you were expecting something. I see.” Tsutsukakushi fell silent.

An awkward silence followed after that, and I assumed that it was the same reason as always—the fact that Tsutsukakushi can’t show her real feelings. I had no idea what the girl was thinking.

We sat down on the emergency stairs, right next to each other. Neither of us spoke a word as we watched the cafe. I looked like I came from the world of normies, whereas Tsutsukakushi looked like an inhabitant of the world of sweets. Even though we were both looking at the same thing, I got the impression that we were actually observing something different.

Time passed, and the rain didn’t let up. I started thinking that living in a moment such as this didn’t feel too bad either. Of course, I had gotten the wrong impression earlier, one that would make me look like a total pervert. But can you really blame me? She was the one who forcibly pulled me this direction without saying a word. Although she might not have her expressions right now, she’s still a cute Kouhai of mine.

I glanced over at Tsutsukakushi. Her eyelashes were about as long as a hand-crafted doll, and the texture of her white skin resembled porcelain. Just watching her from the side gave me the urge to gently kiss her on her eyes. If she had been born as my little sister, I’d execute every single man in this world so that nobody could monopolize her. I definitely can’t be blamed for getting my hopes up if it’s a girl like her we’re talking about!

Meanwhile, while I was lost in thought, I also lost my patience. Just because I can’t read her expression doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be allowed to complain, right? But just when I decided that—

“Huh? What are you brats doing here?”

The fire escape door opened, and a red-haired young-looking man with a piercing in his nose appeared.

“You ain’t allowed up in here. Can’t you even read the warnings outside? You got a death wish or sumthin?”

He must be part of the hotel staff here. He was wearing an apron and holding an umbrella and cleaning tools in hand. He was clearly not in the happiest mood after finding us here, and he aggressively clicked his tongue at us. He had a brusque, aggressive look to him. His arms were well-built and muscular, and he was wearing boots that looked like they could fit an iron plate inside.

“You two are students, right? I bet you don’t have money or anything. You’re just making yourselves a bother by hanging around here. Die. Die a hundred times.”

Tsutsukakushi grabbed my arm tightly. Her palms were shaking ever so slightly, like she was scared of this man. The instant I realized that, my eyes opened wide. In the end, Tsutsukakushi is still a normal, vulnerable girl. Oddly enough, I wasn’t scared of this red-haired guy at all. The fact that a girl was next to me shaking in fear stimulated my senses much more than his threatening words.

“You brats should just go home. Don’t go showing off, alright? I’m here working part-time at a love hotel on a Sunday afternoon. Do you understand how I feel when I have to change the bedsheets?! You probably fucking don’t! Couples can just die in a fire for all I care…”

Towards the end, the young man started wandering off, muttering to himself, wiping his wet eyes. As well as forgetting that we were there, he even seemed like he didn’t know why he came here in the first place, and he just walked away. In the meantime, we decided that it would be better to just run away before he changed his mind. Once we were a safe distance away—

“…Haha.”

Tsutsukakushi and I looked at each other, and I started laughing. Tsutsukakushi didn’t, but she at least didn’t seem bothered by it. I wasn’t even sure why I had started laughing.

“Ahh, I’m so glad. I was thinking that I’d have to persuade him with the old ‘We’re not a couple, I actually hate couples myself!’ trick.”

“I was thinking that I should say that you had forcibly dragged me there.”

“How cruel?!”

“I’m joking.” She reassured me with a smile, tilting her head slightly. “I wonder if we look like a couple.”

“Who knows. What do you think?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never had any male friends, so I can’t really tell the difference.”

“No male friends? Not even in grade school?”

Then again, that wasn’t too weird nowadays I guess.

“My father passed away before I was old enough to really understand, so I still have trouble understanding boys from time to time. I’d always be too embarrassed to talk to boys, so I kept running away from them.”

“I see… Then what about now? You’re not embarrassed when you’re talking to me?”

Tsutsukakushi had been speaking face-to-face with me for a while now. That got me thinking. She was sighing pretty often these days, but maybe there was another reason for that aside from her being annoyed or tired?

“I might be, yes, but luckily it doesn’t show anymore. It’s like using the dark of night to conceal my face. At times like these, I’m actually a bit thankful for my condition.” Tsutsukakushi looked up at me, drawing in her chin.

She continued to gaze at me. Her small face and her big, round eyes made her almost look like an alien. At the same time, I felt like I could understand her a bit more than before.

“…What is it?”

“I just thought you were a bit like a cat.”

I spoke honestly. Though it’s not like I had any choice in that.

“A cat?”

“Yup. Like a lost cat in an unfamiliar place. Even though in your heart you’re actually pretty troubled at the situation, you watch your surroundings with a clear face.”

“…I think you’re misjudging me. And also I don’t really get what you mean.” Tsutsukakushi averted her eyes.

I couldn’t help but laugh again, and Tsutsukakushi slowly turned towards me again.

Just then, Azuki Azusa stepped out of the back entrance of the cafe, but we immediately lost any chance to call out to her. She immediately started running. She sped off like she had some important business immediately afterwards.

“This isn’t good! We need to chase after her!”

I took Tsutsukakushi’s hand and started running. I could directly feel the warm sensation of her hand, and it was much more comfortable than I thought. It mixed with my own temperature, making it even warmer. I could feel her breath right next to me as we ran. The rain had stopped as well.

Of course, the sight of a girl breathing heavily sure is exciting. But the instant I said that aloud, her nails bit right into my flesh.

*

By the time we made it to the main street, we had already lost Azuki Azusa. She might have entered a house around here. To make matters worse, there was a road construction site in front of us, which blocked our ability to see very far ahead. Then again, the area around here didn’t seem like a place where a noble lady like her would live.

Even after walking around the area for a bit, we couldn’t find any clues. We eventually decided to give up and make our way home. A group of people wearing construction worker attire appeared from a prefabricated building. They started moving trucks and cranes around. This was the start of their work day, most likely. While things started getting a bit more crowded, someone from traffic control appeared. They were carrying a red signal light, guiding passers-by and cars so that they wouldn’t get in the way.

“Say, have you ever had a daydream?” I asked.

“…No. Dreams are something you have in your own bed.”

Weird. No matter how many times I rubbed my eyes and looked again, I still saw Azuki Azusa standing there. She was wearing an unfashionable blue working suit with a reflective vest, waving the signal lights left and right.

“I really don’t think that an noblewoman like her should have a part-time job like that…”

“Not to mention right after her job as an animal maid.”

“I feel like things have gotten even more complicated now,” I stared at Azuki Azusa.

The hardhat on her head stood out like a commoner in a noble’s mansion. A rich noblewoman working hard, sweating profusely to earn money instead of relying on her parents? Someone should use this idea to write a compelling piece of literature.

Azuki Azusa doing road construction work. I would have never dreamed about something like this. How should I act now?

“Senpai. Have you figured anything out?”

“Hmmm… Since the traffic control clothes glow at night like that, they might be pretty useful for illuminating any sort of dirty action you want to do outside at night.”

“I never should have asked. You really are a helpless pervert.”

“Then don’t ask! My honest feelings keep coming out even if I don’t want them to! I’d like a reward for being such an honest puppy!”

“So you’re a pervert even while making excuses. I see,” Tsutsukakushi coldly returned.

Even though it was the same voice she always used, the reason for it was different, or at least that’s what I thought. That’s how I knew that things were bad. I felt like a blizzard would hit me at this rate.

“W-Well, all that aside, I’m the type of man to pull through when it comes down to it. I’ll solve this mystery!”

It’s time to recover my honor… or clear my name? Either way, it’s serious now.

****

Azuki Azusa’s morning starts early. While the city is still asleep, she travels out on her moped, delivering newspapers. Though letting go of the steering wheel with one hand while driving is indeed dangerous, she’s gotten used to throwing the newspaper right into each mailbox, and she manages to land it around 50% of the time at a ten meter distance. From time to time, a dog at the house will knock said newspaper away with its tail. With those dogs she’s gotten acquainted with already, it often ends in a playful battle, during which Azuki Azusa will let loose a gleeful snicker. Whenever she is playing with cats or dogs, Azuki Azusa truly looks like she’s enjoying her life.

Azuki Azusa’s residence is at an ordinary public residential district building on the fourth floor. Because of rental guidelines, she’s not allowed to keep any pets. In response to this, her mother always says ‘If you want pets that badly, just make some kids’ in a joking tone of voice. Every time Azuki Azusa is forced to listen to this, she recalls traumatic memories. She envisions a better life, out of this jungle of a city. Back when her father, a balloon pilot, was still alive, her mother had never said anything like this.

Even when it’s time for her to head to school, Azuki Azusa can’t seem to shake off her sleepiness. Hence, she always grabs a few precious hours of sleep in the school infirmary. Since her day is even busier once classes come to an end, she’s forced to leave school as quickly as possible. In the event that homeroom takes too long, she fakes anemia so that she can leave early.

The reason she chose to work at the Japanese animal cafe was that she thought the chances of her being seen by someone who knows her is smaller the farther away from school she is. Once this part-time work is done, she makes her way to her construction job. Another all-night job in traffic control waits for her. However, Azuki Azusa does not feel stressed that her day and night circle are reversed. All she does is look up at the starry summer night sky, waving her signal lights.

‘Though my breasts might be small, my dream is as inflated as the balloon my Papa used to pilot. One day, I’ll definitely be rich enough to buy the stars—’

“—And that would be one day of Azuki Azusa’s life. The End.”

I finished my presentation after going through the last few slides. It was a job well done, if I do say so myself. It was definitely worth skipping out on studying for the upcoming exams.

We were currently inside the presentation room after classes had ended for the day, and there was a short pause of total silence. To be fair, I was actually waiting for applause.

“…So you were stalking me all day long?”

“Stalking is a rather scary crime to commit. I was just trying to deepen our connection one-sidedly, so I followed you at a safe distance to observe your daily life.”

“That’s what stalking is, you pervert!” She let out a roar of anger.

I managed to catch her after classes, and I told her that I wanted to show her something before she headed off to her part-time job, but it seems like her mood is now in quite a bad state. Maybe it was because she didn’t see any reason to use her facade right now, or maybe it was because it was just the two of us here, but she was stating her opinion honestly right now.

“Good grief. I followed my Master around like a proper pet, and you still aren’t satisfied…?”

“Why are you acting like this is somehow my fault?! I highly doubt that a pet this clingy exists in the entire world! And what was that narration about?! What the heck kind of job is a balloon pilot?!”

“I thought it’d make for a great dramatic backstory. I wanna fly through the sky one day, too.”

“I didn’t ask about your future plans! Papa didn’t work in that field, and he’s still alive! You dramaticized it way too much! Mama doesn’t talk that way, I don’t throw newspapers, nor do they get thrown back at me!”

“But the important parts are still the same, right? Flatty.”

“Don’t call me a flatty! There is so much wrong in this! I don’t even want to become rich in the first place, and also…”

“Either way, you’re neither a rich nor a noble lady, and it’s true that you live in the residential district, too.”

Azuki Azusa suddenly grew quiet. Her glare was deadly, like she was about to leap at me. The top beauty of the school year, known as a feeble and rich noblewoman—turned out to be a normal girl you could find anywhere, who worked hard at her part-time jobs. If she kept up like this, she would spend the rest of her life hiding behind her ostentatious facade.

If you sum it up, that’s what it boils down to. This is like a gravure idol lying about her age so she can keep working. But for Azuki Azusa, being exposed would probably mean the collapse of her entire world. Even now, her mouth is opening and closing as she’s trying to figure out what to say.

“The manager of that cafe told us that you were always working hard, and that you really enjoyed your time with the animals. He knows you’re working elsewhere, but he said he would be glad if you could just stay with them instead.”

Azuki Azusa’s lips moved without forming any actual sounds. ‘Shut up’ or ‘It’s not any of your business’ were probably things she wanted to say, but they didn’t reach my ears.

“There’s no need to work your butt off just to keep acting like a rich lady. Using your money for expensive things like that watch and other accessories feels a bit stupid, don’t you think?”

“I’m doing this because I want to, so leave me alone!”

I don’t know what finally pushed her over the edge. At the very least, Azuki Azusa went into a full rage, which finally allowed her to speak without the facade.

“I’m not blaming you for having this kind of hobby, Azuki Azusa. Just… acting like you’re privileged, turning down people left and right, looking down on everyone else… is it really that fun?”

“So what if it is? Are you going to lecture me like you’re some kind of saint?” Azuki Azusa got up from her chair.

She grabbed her bag and shrugged her shoulders.

“Did you call me here for something as worthless as this? I’m going home.”

“Hold your horses. I’m not quite done yet.”

“Well I am. You were probably trying to threaten me, but it sure didn’t work. Just tell everyone, then. Why would I care what a water flea like you does?” Her voice sounded indifferent.

It was the prime example of how a facade worked… Well, her words were, at least. Azuki Azusa used the desks as a railing as she walked, almost as if she was about to fall over because of her trembling legs.

“…Listen, Azuki Azusa. If me spreading the news would be that much of a problem for you, why don’t you just tell me?”

“W-Who would be troubled by that?! I-I’m not scared at all of a pervert like you threatening me…!”

You’re literally shaking in your boots right now—I hesitated to say that. She bit her trembling white lips, and her eyes looked directly at me, filled with anxiety and fear. Almost like a flower that was about to be plucked. Good grief. She’s making things really complicated thanks to both her pride and my facade.

“Also, I don’t know how you got the wrong idea about it, but I’m not threatening you or anything.”

“R-Really…? N-No, I won’t believe a stalker like you!”

“I’ll gladly apologize for it. But just like I said, it’s because I’m your pet, Azuki Azusa. I just thought that my Master looked really tired all of the time, which is why I looked into this.”

“…How nice of you, you pervert,” Azuki Azusa still glared at me with a dubious gaze.

As if trying to guess my intentions, her gaze ran along my body, from head to toe. She let go of the desk, having gotten her trembling body under control again. Just as I said, I didn’t have any plans to threaten her. As I’ve said before, rather than videos involving crime and violence, I prefer those where the girls are happy.

“Do you remember what I told you before in the cafeteria?”

“…Hmph. You mean the time you started harassing me?”

“It wasn’t anything like that. Those were undoubtedly my true feelings. I’m the type of person who can’t lie. You’ve stolen something very precious to me. Whenever I see you smile so innocently, my heart just starts beating faster!”

Especially that belt-like choker. My chest feels heavy when I see the symbol of my facade wrapped around her neck. Or so I muttered with a quiet voice, but it didn’t reach Azuki Azusa. Her eyes were wide open. Just when I thought a bit of color had started returning to her face, she started blushing furiously. She blinked at me in confusion, her mouth opening and closing like a fish’s.

“Um… Well. You know, the words of a pervert like you were a bit too broad, so I’m honestly a bit surprised that you could say something like that so openly…”

“Well, it’s the truth.”

“W-Whatever. So what do you want to say?”

“No matter how you look at it, you’re working too hard, Azuki Azusa. Even though I finally became your pet, I can’t stay next to my Master, and it hurts me. So once our exams are over, how about we go on a date?”

I heard the sound of Azuki Azusa almost choking.

“A-A date…?!”

“If a date isn’t any good, then maybe it can be a walk, dog racing, or anything really! I just want to go with you somewhere, let you know that I’m there for you, and get back that precious thing! That’s all that matters to me!”

“You sure are straightforward for a pervert…”

“Are you opposed to the idea?”

‘Don’t look at me with eyes like that’ seemed to be what Azuki Azusa’s expression was saying, and she hesitated a bit, but finally—

“……Fine.” She muttered in a quiet voice.

I made a victory pose. Azuki Azusa only gave me a backwards glance as she walked away.

“W-Well, it’s the task of the Master to reward their pet properly, right?”

Right in front of the door, she turned around one last time, forcing herself to speak in a louder voice, as if she were trying to convince herself. That was probably her facade again. Once I made sure that she had left for good, I gave the signal, and Tsutsukakushi appeared from behind the projector.

“…What exactly was all this about?”

“Exactly what I told her. It seems like Azuki Azusa always admired the life of a noblewoman. That is probably why she needed the facade. I’ll be using my status as a normal citizen to let her enjoy herself as a normal citizen and teach her the joys of commoners. Once she learns about this, she might lose the reason to keep her facade. Since I can’t lie right now, I had to be honest about it.”

“So you wanted to go on a date with Azuki-san. Is that so?”

“Huh? Were you listening to me?”

Tsutsukakushi looked at me with an indifferent gaze. It was apparent that she wanted to say something. I totally thought that I had come up with a great plan to restore my honor. Why is she acting like I did something bad? Why is she in a foul mood?

Foul mood…?

That’s right. I didn’t think that it was weird back then, but something was off. Tsutsukakushi, who should have no way of expressing herself, seemed awfully sulky.

“I’m going on that date as well.”

“Eh? I mean, I don’t mind, but that would mean that you’re going on a date with Azuki Azusa.”

“I will definitely go.”

“Ah, alright…”

Either way, trying to figure out why she was angry in the first place was too much work.

*

The great extent of your student life revolves around your studies. If you look at it on a daily basis, it’s quite a large amount that’s piled up in front of you. Especially right before the end-of-term exams. Yet my instincts still force me to play games right before them. I wonder why that is.

I wonder if there are any good spots around that are good for commoners like myself to go to? I decided to ask Ponta about that during our ‘Plumber Brothers’ deathmatch game, and he just gave a bland ‘Like a gaming center?’ back.

“A game center? I mean, strip mahjong is indeed Japan’s best invention to date, but I don’t think I can just take a girl like her there. Where did your common sense go, Ponta?”

“Oi, don’t lump me in with the likes of you. Why is a stripping game the first thing that comes to your mind about game centers?! No, before that. Wait, Perverted Prince. What was that just now? You’re taking a girl there? Even if the world was about to be destroyed, I wouldn’t allow such a greedy thing to happen in front of me!”

“Woah, what about world peace?! Why are you hitting me with your controller now?!”

…As you can see, I was busy playing with Ponta and dealing with his corporal punishment, and I hadn’t even worked out the details of the date with Azuki Azusa yet. On top of that, I felt like I was forgetting something really important… Ah, my exams? Those were already game over, of course.

I only remembered to contact her the day prior. After deciding on the day, where we would meet, and all that, I called her home, and her pleasant mother picked up.

“Oh my oh my, thank you for always taking care of my Azusa.”

“Oh, it’s no problem at all.”

“It’s the truth. Azusa is always talking about you.”

“Eh… What exactly is she saying, then?”

“Nevermind all that. I like dogs a lot, you know?”

“Eh?”

“Please come visit us whenever you feel like it.”

“Eh?”

“Fufufufu.”

It was a surprisingly pleasant chat. Oh right, I forgot to tell Tsutsukakushi.

Our exams finally ended and we had a short break from school. When I arrived at the fashion building in front of the train station, I spotted Azuki Azusa immediately.

“Sorry, did you wait long? …Ahh, I always wanted to say that in reality and not just as a choice in a game.”

“…What do you mean by ‘choice’? Also, I just got here myself. I’m not a swallow waiting to be fed or anything. I wasn’t looking forward to this at all, just so you know.”

“It figures~”

“Also, why did you wait until yesterday to contact me? I was busy with my part-time work, preparing for exams, and mentally preparing myself. Just how long did you think I had been waiting? I was worried that you had forgotten! Of course a giraffe’s neck would grow longer! Do you get it?”

I honestly don’t. Just as a side note, I arrived thirty minutes before the time we were supposed to meet up.

“Th-This is an important date, so treat me properly, okay?! So where are we even going today? You didn’t tell me anything about it.”

Azuki Azusa checked her appearance in the windows of the building, tugging slightly at her skirt. She was wearing a yellow blouse, which made a good match with her chestnut-colored hair, it was a bit different from her usual image. If I had to find something to compare her to, she looked like a blooming sunflower.

“Those clothes really suit you.”

“H-Huh?! Why are you saying that out of the blue…? I-I totally expected that, so I’m not surprised at all…”

“But, I know what clothes will suit you even better,” I said and pointed at a big window of a building on the opposite side of the street.

On display in that window were mannequins, wearing the attire that all girls admire the most: Wedding dresses. Indeed, our first destination today was a bridal shop.

“…Huh?”

“I thought we could spend some time there for starters.”

Since Ponta’s advice hadn’t helped me at all, I gave it some thought on my own. Places that a commoner would go to, so I could help Azuki Azusa learn the joys of a commoner life. When I was thinking of joys that commoners could experience, I immediately thought of marriage. Rich people might have problems with pedigree and politics, but if she were to become a normal commoner, she could marry whoever she wanted. I want her to realize how good that is by taking her here.

I ignored the fact that Azuki Azusa had frozen as still as a statue, and I grabbed her hand, crossed the street, and entered the bridal shop. The interior of the shop was pure white, which filled it with a sense of purity. There were countless wedding dresses on display all around, almost blinding me. On top of that, they had decorated with bells and small statues of angels, probably trying to recreate the feeling of a church.

“Excuse me, we were thinking of marrying.”

When I called out to a nearby staff member, they returned a polished, perfect customer-service smile.

“Congratulations. I feel honored to help pave the path to your new lives together—”

“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

There was a voice filled to the brim with terror, and I was dragged outside the store. I really didn’t expect Azuki Azusa to have that much arm strength, to be honest. With her still holding my shirt collar, she ran a distance of more than 100 meters down the street. Finally, the scenery whizzing past me started to slow down. When I looked to the side, I saw the sweat-drenched Azuki Azusa fixing her hair as she glared at me.

“Isn’t that a bit too fast?! It totally is, right?!”

“Eh? Really?”

“Th-This is something for when we know more about each other, right?! I’m not a rabbit who’s courting all year round, so think about this a bit more!”

“I thought I was, though… I wanted you to know more about me being a commoner. Don’t you want to wear a wedding dress, Azuki Azusa?”

“That’s not the problem here! W-We aren’t in a relationship like that yet, and I want to take the steps in the proper order! Wait, that doesn’t mean that I’ll take the steps with you or anything…” Her shoulders heaved up and down as she gasped for air, her voice unable to keep up.

Her face was red from ear to ear, as she used her hands to fan her face. Suddenly, I felt a harsh gaze observing me from the opposite side of the street. Of course, I already knew who this gaze belonged to, but keeping the date rolling was much more important right now.

“Well, if the marriage part isn’t going to work, then let’s move on to the next thing. I guess climbing the stairs normally does make sense. Why not treat today like the Titanic and leave everything to me?”

“Doesn’t that mean that we’ll sink?! I can already tell the next stop is going to me just as bad,” Azuki Azusa tried protesting as best as she could, slapping my arm in resistance.

Thanks to that, getting her to the second location was much more work. At the corner of an intersection on main street was a building with multiple shops inside, and we found ourselves on the first floor. My eyes caught the billboard in front of it.

Hifuchi Gynecology.

Of course, when you think about what comes after marriage, this is the obvious next step. Everyone has a pretty universal understanding of this kind of happiness, so there’s no doubt she’ll find joy in it this time.

“………Huh.” Azuki Azusa stopped moving completely.

Only a single tone escaped her lips, and her face started to burn hotter and hotter like a kettle boiling water. She looked like she was one step before fainting.

“What’s wrong? Let’s go in. At this rate you’ll ruin your precious body.”

“………”

“I’m a man, after all, so I’m ready to take responsibility.”

I mean, it’s awfully hot today. If we kept walking around outside, she might have a heatstroke, so I figured it would be better to let her inside a hospital-like place and explain to her the joys of being a commoner. Who would be better at that than a professional? If it comes down to it, I can take responsibility and explain why. Since Azuki Azusa was frozen completely stiff, I tried giving her a slight push, when—

“Pervert pervert pervert pervert you crazy pervert! You beast! You sex-crazed stallion! You animal in heat!”

“W-What’s the matter?!”

“Shut up and die, you crazed pervert! When? When did it happen?! When I was sleeping? It was my first time! And yet… and yet! Why did you do that?!”

She was going on a rampage like a confused stray dog. The burning teakettle had been replaced with a pneumatic turbine, and she hammered her hands against my torso. I don’t know what caused her to awaken to this right now, but… Ah, haha, her eyes are spinning! This is the first time I’ve seen that. In front of the gynecologist was a female high school girl with a beet-red face, as well as a boy with an appearance like he was about to challenge the throwing event world record. This scene obviously gathered quite a few onlookers.

‘Good grief, this is why today’s youth are so problematic. They’re the kind of people who are swept along in the adventure of a fleeting summer night. It probably wasn’t planned at all. Sex fanatics. Definitely. This is what you get. What a horrible pervert.’

I heard the defamatory whispers and murmuring around us. It truly is regrettable. So many people are jumping to conclusions, especially about me.

“You truly are the worst womanizer of a pervert to exist.”

Not to mention the voice of a girl I knew very well was joining in. She was wearing camouflage trousers, a newsboy cap, and carrying a bag slung over her shoulder. It looked like she was about to depart for a war. With an appearance resembling a toy soldier, Tsutsukakushi eventually walked towards us.

Of course, I knew that Tsutsukakushi had been tailing us from the very start. That was the oppressive gaze I felt a while ago. But since she kept a constant ten meters distance between us, I thought she was acting like a magnet of the same polarity as me, so I played along. I wonder what she wants to play next? Whack-a-mole? Man, she really is still a kid.

“So what brings you out now, Tsutsukakushi?”

“I’m going to call the ally of all women, a police officer, here. What is this? Attempted rape? I think you should reflect on the crimes you’ve committed in a jail cell.”

“R-Rape?!”

I retract my statement. She’s speaking with a 100% emotionless expression, and her voice is as monotone as it can get, but she’s saying words a kid would never think of. The temperature radiating from her eyes is approaching absolute zero, making me feel like I’m being stabbed by a blade of ice.

“What do you take me for? I would only do that in my dreams!”

“So you didn’t do it in reality. Wait, you’re doing it in your dreams?”

“Of course! Dreams are there for you to do whatever you want!”

“…I don’t see the connection here.”

That’s where the joyful game of Whack-a-mole stopped. Though Azuki Azusa’s cheeks were still burning as red as before, the sound in her voice turned as cold as Russian tundra, and she glared at me as fiercely as the daughter of a Siberian yakuza would.

“What I’m trying to say is that I’m always a perfect gentleman! Azuki Azusa, you must understand now, right?!”

“I understand that you’re a pervert who enjoys perverted dreams at night. But there are still some things that are unclear to me.”

“You don’t get it at all!”

“Just come with me for a second.”

Athlete Azuki Azusa is our first contestant in the ‘Male throwing’ event, and this is her first attempt.

I landed in a back alley, in the middle of an artificially-created enclosed space out of sight of the main road. This sure is happening fast. I had prepared myself for dates as much as I could with the age-restricted videos I would watch at home, but I never thought a sexy scenario like this would happen to me so suddenly.

—Or so I was thinking when she suddenly grabbed me by the throat.

“—Hey. Who is that girl?”

“You’ve probably seen her before. She’s Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko, a first-year at our school. She knows about this, so…”

“That’s not what I meant! How did she know about our date? Why is she here, on our date?! What are you thinking?! It’s like you’re playing with a stray cat in front of your own dog! That’s bad manners!”

“So you’re the dog in this situation, Azuki Azusa… Are you that bothered by it? Also, could you let me breathe, please?”

“H-Hmph! As if I would be bothered! I knew from the start that this wasn’t an actual date. Y-Yeah, that makes sense. You were just planning on trying to understand my weaknesses, dragging me around to perverted places, teasing me about perverted things, so that you two could enjoy yourselves! You won’t deceive me! I was an idiot for marking my calendar! Of course an elephant’s trunk would shrink! Do you get it?!”

I honestly don’t. Oh wow, I’m suffocating. This feels refreshing. Just when I was seeing Oscar Wilde smile down at me from the great flower garden in the sky—

“I’m sorry. Senpai isn’t the one at fault here. I just asked him to let me tag along no matter what.”

My savior appeared. I’m glad this case didn’t end with a corpse and a new murderer on the loose. Tsutsukakushi, I was right to trust in your kindness. You didn’t report me, did you?

“Also, I am the one who suffers the most from being seen as this pervert’s friend. If I let him do whatever he pleases, he’ll be a total bother to everyone else.”

“So you’re his supervisor? Though I have to agree that he’s a pervert beyond perverts, I’m fine by myself. We don’t need two supervisors on this date.”

“No, you don’t understand just how perverted this pervert is.”

…I guess she wasn’t all that kind after all. Thankfully, Azuki Azusa let go of me, but Tsutsukakushi didn’t bother to even give me so much as a sideways glance. They were focused on each other, and sparks were flying above my head. The one firing the most sparks seemed to be Azuki Azusa, though.

“Huh, not bad. The true face of the pervert, is it? So for example, intruding the school infirmary to find a girl who’s sleeping and sniffing her neck?”

“Senpai did something like that…?”

“He sure did. Besides that, he often whispered things such as ‘When you wake up, you want to wear a swimsuit’ in her ear during her sleep.”

“…Hmph. Is that so? He used the student council’s suggestion box to ask for the girls’ swimming club to expand, as well as to ask that they’d raise the club budget three times. Naturally, he sent those in every day with different handwriting.”

“Wha…? Is he fine with anyone as long as they wear a swimsuit?”

“After that, he went to the people responsible for delivering the school’s swimsuits and offered to create a new design for them.”

“Why is he so desperate about this… He only cares about swimsuits, doesn’t he? How worthless can you be?! Acting so cheeky even though you’re nothing but a pervert!”

In one corner of the ring, you had Azuki Azusa, whose cheeks were starting to heat up from the debate. In the opposite corner stood Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko, making arguments with a voice that sounded frozen. As the outsider observing from the outside, I already knew who the winner of this battle was.

“Stop it, you two. You don’t have to fight over me.”

“You don’t have any right to speak here. Keep quiet, pervert.”

“We weren’t fighting in the first place. We were sharing knowledge about you, Pervert-san.”

Indeed, it was my complete loss. Before I realized it, the tides had turned, and they were both attacking me instead. Left sad and alone, I was forced to draw circles on the ground. How did it end up like this? Where did it all go wrong? Is it the world? The country? The Earth? The sun? Was it because the sun is shining too bright today?

“T-That’s right. It’s too hot today, so let’s continue this conversation somewhere cool.”

“If you try to drag me into the gynecologist office again, I’ll make you regret you were even born.”

“That being said, if you go to a kindergarten or nursery home, you might end up in the courtroom instead, and I’ll be sure to testify against you.”

“Why do you two have no trust in me whatsoever?! I had some cool, refreshing places in mind! Why would you assume the worst from me?! Think about it rationally, you two!”

“Rationally, is it?”

“‘Rationally,’ he says…”

Tsutsukakushi and Azuki Azusa exchanged dubious glances with each other, almost as if they wanted to say something, but eventually gave up, just shaking their heads with a sigh. They sure have gotten close in a short period of time.

A change of location was necessary to fix this weird atmosphere. Definitely not because I was scared of police sirens catching up to me. Either way, that change of scenery was the best choice. And as it turns out, Ponta’s idea was a good one. A game center wasn’t just for stripping games!

“Wow! They have quite a variety of UFO catchers!”

The game center, located in one corner of the shopping district, offered a wide variety of new games and retro games, and it was a popular spot for high school students to hang out. Even though I was firmly within the target demographic, and I had visited this place several times already by now, I found myself standing just inside the automatic door, gawking.

Countless crane games were spaced out on the first floor of said game center. The prizes ranged from stuffed toys to sweets, cell phone straps to figurines. Since I had always beelined straight towards the stripping game corner downstairs, I had never taken a closer look at them.

“You… just a bit more… There… take this!”

Azuki Azusa stayed near the entrance, pressing her cheek against the glass of a machine as she watched the crane arm move. She was staring intensely at the big turtle plush toy. Although it really didn’t look comfortable to snuggle against, it wasn’t easy to grab either, and the crane failed to pick it up. Then again, a big part of the problem was probably the controller inputs from the girl herself. She was so bad at it that it almost looked like she was playing the game drunk.

“Um…”

After seeing her insert several 100 yen coins into the machine, I couldn’t bear to watch it any longer.

“What is it?”

“I really don’t think you’re made out for this. I’ve never seen anyone as bad at this as you are!”

“S-Shut up, okay! It’s my first time playing this today. No bird can fly from the very beginning!”

“There are also birds who can never fly. Chickens, for example.”

“Urgh… Then can you do it, you pervert?!”

She suddenly got angry at me, and even foisted the game onto me. I have confidence in my skill at stripping games, but this is something new for me. Either way, backing down wasn’t an option anymore, so I inserted a coin.

“Ah… huh? What a slippery bastard!”

“Do you see it now?! Even an octopus or a squid wouldn’t be able to do this!”

“I don’t think the number of arms you have makes you any better at this.”

This is bad. I have to seek help from Tsutsukakushi, and—Huh? Where did she go? I searched around for her small newspaper boy cap and found it near the games with candy prizes. One arm of hers was holding an uncountable amount of sweets already, and yet her eyes were still filled with gluttony, as she ran over to the next case. If I had to guess, she was probably checking which machine was easier to use, or where she had the highest chance of getting what she wanted. She was definitely a pro at this sort of handiwork. Also, are you really that hungry, Tsutsukakushi?

“…Woah. So, armless chicken, wanna try another game?”

“Uuu… I really want that, though…” She pointed at the turtle and pouted.

She kept pressing the button to play another game, even though she hadn’t put any more money into it. Heh, she’s almost like a big child. In the end, Azuki Azusa’s mood didn’t improve until Tsutsukakushi gave her a cookie. Tsutsukakushi told her that you had to treat the game gently, and Azuki Azusa reluctantly nodded. When they’re like this, you can’t tell who’s the older one. Of course, I said that out loud, which earned myself a death glare from Azuki Azusa, and Tsutsukakushi watched in silence, her shoulders shaking ever so slightly.

Time passed fairly quickly. After taking part in the crane games, we went up on the second floor and started playing Whack-A-Mole.

“Let’s stop this! This isn’t fun at all!”

“Why are you crying, Azuki-san?”

“I didn’t think there’d be anyone who would feel sympathy for the toy moles here.”

“Y-You’re wrong…”

After that were the drum games on the third floor.

“Ah! Ehh, which one was I supposed to hit?”

“Calm down.”

“You’re really clumsy, Azuki Azusa.”

“Urk…”

“Hmpf. Next time will be my win.”

“…Why do you have your own sticks?”

“I can’t even see Tsutsukakushi-san’s hands moving!”

After that, we went down to visit the basement.

“There’s barely any light in here…”

“It reeks of cigarettes.”

“Ohh, there’s a new mahjong game out! I see! This time it’s a nurse!”

“Let’s move on to the next one.”

“Agreed.”

“Don’t pull on my ears, you two!”

“Keep quiet.”

“Keep quiet.”

Time passed quickly, indeed. Nearly as fast as my narration. Before we realized it, the sun had started to set, and we could almost hear the footsteps of the moon coming up from the eastern sky. From the third floor all the way down to the basement, we tried out various machines and games. We all felt a bit tired, so we went to take a break on a bench on the first floor.

I had just been planning to let us cool down a bit in here from the heat outside. I never thought we’d end up spending so much time here. What is even going on with this date anymore? Can this still even be classified as a date?

“It’s my first time here at a game center. There’s a lot to play here, huh?”

Azuki Azusa was enjoying a bit of the ramune and gummy candy that Tsutsukakushi had won at the crane games. Thankfully, it sounded like her mood had improved quite a bit from before.

“Of course. We played a lot, right? The joys of a commoner are fun, after all. It’s exciting. Everything is more enjoyable as a commoner!”

“…Are you taking a jab at me? Sometimes you say weird things, even for a pervert.”

“Hahaha… Ah, you’ve got some cookie crumbs on your finger.”

“I-I know that! It was on purpose! It just happened!”

Azuki Azusa showed some bad manners by sticking her finger inside her mouth. I had been thinking about this before when she was playing games, but she really doesn’t act like a noble lady most of the time. She wears a lot of name-brand accessories, but inside, she’s really just an average girl.

In other words, this was quite a predicament.

We need her to go back to her commoner ways in order to make her want to get rid of her facade, but if she’s been a commoner all along… then what? I looked over at Tsutsukakushi for help, but she was busy munching on her snacks. Was she actually that hungry? I knew that house mice have such a high metabolism that they can die pretty quickly if they don’t keep eating, so maybe it’s the same for her? I have no idea where she packs away all that food, though.

“You were thinking something rude just now, weren’t you?”

“Isn’t that normal for him? He’s a pervert, after all. It’d be rude if now was the only time he was thinking something rude.”

“That makes sense. I’m sorry, Senpai. I said something rude.”

“…You two really are close, huh?!”

Tsutsukakushi had clearly stuffed her stomach full of sweets, and she now was glancing at the ramune in Azuki Azusa’s hands. Azuki Azusa for her part smiled gently and handed the ramune to the girl, almost as if she was feeding her child. What a heartwarming scene.

“Girls have it nice. They can immediately become friends, or even sisters.”

That was when it happened. The two of them froze in place, making it seem like time had stopped. Almost as if they had been handed a hand grenade that was about to blow up. I think I’ve stepped on a landmine here.

“H-Huh? Did I say something weird…?”

They looked friendly on the outside, but something made it seem as if they wanted the other to just leave. Is this how all girls are with other girls around? That’s kinda scaring me right now, so could we not?

“…No, I was just thinking that I would have loved to have Azuki-senpai as an older sister. I was just a bit surprised.”

Tsutsukakushi was the first to open her mouth. From how she made it sound, I guessed she was trying to stress that there were no other feelings involved.

“Now that you bring it up, are you an only child, Tsutsukakushi?”

“I do have a blood-related older sister, but… right now…”

…Right now, what? I couldn’t ask her, because—

“Who says… that we’re friends…? Don’t decide these things on your own.”

Azuki Azusa started acting odd. Although her voice sounded soft, it was filled with displeasure. She let out a sigh, not even bothering to hide her irritation.

“I agree, we did just play together. But that’s only because I let you deceive me. I didn’t come here to play as friends.”

“Do you hate the word ‘Friends’ that much?”

“I like being on my own, okay? Just like a cheetah in the savanna. Being friends is nothing more than a bother. They get in the way of how I want to live, too.”

Now that she mentions it, Azuki Azusa has always been alone. The fact that I became her pet and followed her around was only because she doesn’t have anybody else around her. Of course, that was by her own choice, seeing how she did her ‘reward time’ at every chance she got, But…

“You know, that doesn’t sound very convincing when you look this happy.”

“H-How do I look happy?!”

Maybe because you’re holding Tsutsukakushi’s hand, or because you were happily swinging your legs up and down earlier, or because you’re gritting your teeth right now because I hit the bullseye. Azuki Azusa’s facade is quite good, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work at all in terms of hiding her expressions and attitude. While she was complaining about the concept of ‘Friends’, she was blushing like a maiden. It was a perfect juxtaposition of speech and expression.

“Then if Tsutsukakushi isn’t your friend, what is she? Do you hate her?”

“Eh, ah… N-No…”

“So? What is she to you?”

“…I’m going to the restroom.” Azuki Azusa stood up.

“Didn’t you go just a few minutes ago? Are you running away like a coward?”

“I-I’m not running away! I’ve just been holding it in this entire time! You don’t have to wait for me, either! I’m totally fine with it! You’re not my friends, and you’re just deceiving me, so let me be the loner that I am!”

“Loner?”

How did we get on this topic? Is she the type of person who gets excited by the idea of being ignored? Do that sort of roleplay with a professional, not here.

“I don’t mind being left behind by a pervert like you! We’re not friends at all…!” Azuki Azusa formed a fist and spoke like she was giving an emotional speech.

Leaving us and the sweets behind, she ran away towards the direction of the restrooms. In contrast to her sunflower-themed clothes and her flushed face, her expression made it seem like she was close to breaking out in tears. Two female employees nearly bumped into Azuki Azusa and acted confused as to what her problem was. Just as I had thought, her facade was causing her to lose something important.

“You can’t toy around with Azuki-san like that.”

Right after our dear sunflower vanished, the same thing happened as always. Yep, I got scolded again.

“You can only play with a girl’s heart up to grade school. Why would you continue doing this as a second-year highschool student?”

“…I’m sorry.”

The girl who looked like a grade school student was getting angry at me, and I apologized like a grade school student. Tsutsukakushi sighed after that. Unlike the deadpan Tsutsukakushi, Azuki Azusa openly revealed her expressions. I enjoyed watching her make all sorts of them—The instant I caught myself thinking that, I felt a shiver. If not for this whole situation, Tsutsukakushi would be the exact same, openly showing her emotions on her face. It’s not like she doesn’t have any emotions, I just hadn’t been bothered to look for them. There’s no doubt about it, if I forget about this, she won’t wait long to retaliate.

“Also, everyone would have trouble defining the relationship they have with other people. Even I want to know—”

I wasn’t allowed to hear the end of her sentence. Tsutsukakushi abruptly closed her mouth.

“What’s wrong?”

Following her gaze, I spotted a photo booth. That reminds me, we didn’t take a commemorative picture for today just yet, did we? I guess she wants to take one. Man, sometimes Tsutsukakushi can be really cute. While I was busy thinking careless thoughts like that, I jumped upright at the sight of the person who stepped out from the curtains.

That’s—The Steel King!

A strong, resolute will resided in her well-formed, calm eyes. She was walking around in uniform even on a holiday like this. She must truly possess a psyche made of steel. She had two people in her hands, and was carrying them like small lambs: Two girls from the track-and-field club. Those who esteem themselves to be members of this club can’t allow themselves to participate in such trivial enjoyments. I’ve heard about this before.

The legendary tale of the Steel King, who beat up the town’s number one delinquent at this very gamecenter. From what I’ve heard, the reason she had made her way to this shopping district on that fateful day was to catch club members who decided to skip self-practice to play around. She would never allow them to enjoy such trivial things as games. There was a reason they called the track-and-field club a ‘black’ club, considering that she expected club members to practice even on days they were off from school.

“Ahh, I will reflect on it from the bottom of my heart!”

“Once we get home, we’ll practice until we spit out blood!”

The first-year girls had faces like the calf from ‘Donna Donna¹’, and they ran away as fast as their legs could carry them. The club president didn’t even open her mouth, just silently watched them off. Taking a day off from time to time doesn’t really hurt that much, does it? I feel bad for them.

But right when I started feeling sympathetic for those girls, the Steel King glanced over in my direction. She then glanced over a second time. Her third glance was more dubious than the first two. Her wide open eyes locked onto their target.

“T-This is bad! We have to run away!” I panicked and grabbed Tsutsukakushi’s hand, but she showed no intention of following.

WIth a deadpan look on her face, she stared back at the Steel King. The majesty of the King was as oppressive as usual. The people in her way immediately opened a path, as she came closer and closer, arriving in front of me before I could even blink.

…Hm? But since I’m taking a break from the club, it should be fine for me to be here, right? Or so I thought, but then I realized that the Steel King hadn’t been looking at me at all.

“Tsukiko. What are you doing here?”

“…A date,” Tsutsukakushi replied with a calm voice as usual, her face remaining expressionless.

“What is this about? I haven’t heard of this.”

“Of course not. I didn’t tell you about it, after all.”

“What did you say…?”

Short, concise words were exchanged between the two. It was a battle between the Girl of Ice and the Steel King. Neither of them budged an inch. But while I watched the two of them, I realized something. I had never given it much thought before, but most human beings have a family name. The Steel King has one, too, as well as a given one. The first time I met Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko in a more well-lit place, I thought she resembled someone.

How did I not catch on? Though the look in their eyes was vastly different, the color was the same. Their blue radiance shone as they looked each other in the eyes.

“…Tsutsukakushi. This blood-related older sister you spoke of…”

“Yes. She is the president of the track-and-field club, Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi.”

Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko answered my question with a blank expression, and Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi remained quiet and didn’t deny it. The Tsutsukakushi sisters, huh? I would never have imagined it. When you lined them up next to each other, they looked like the exact same person. I have an older sister of my own, but she would never use such a cold voice. Shouldn’t it instead be a sweet relationship like fixing each others’ necktie while Maria-sama watches over them²?

“Yokodera. You’re still in medical treatment, right?”

Interrupting my thoughts, the sharp gaze of steel directed itself at me.

“I didn’t think you’d waste this time on an affair like this…”

“Eh, ah, no…”

“Very well. I understand. I’ll assume that this so-called ‘date’ is necessary for your medical treatment. Modern illnesses truly are a profound mystery. It isn’t something an amateur can comment on. I’ll try to bear that in mind.”

I’ve heard this quite a lot frequently, this almost affectionate voice from the Steel King. But it suddenly hardened again.

“But what I cannot unsee is Tsukiko here. Why would you choose her as the partner for your rendezvous? My little sister, who is about to turn sixteen, having a man? To be perfectly frank—I cannot grant this.”

I was foolish. The pressure of steel? It was nothing more than a laughingstock. This killing intent being directed at me right now makes everything before nothing more than a joke. Every strand of hair on my body stood on end. I’ve seen the Steel King get angry countless times so far. Because it’s her default expression. That being said, I’ve never felt this much fear in her presence. Is this what it feels like to feel the wrath of hell? I see, so I’m gonna die here.

“Y-You’re wrong, Club President… Th-This might look like a date, but there’s actually another girl.”

Even while I was being tormented by fear, my tongue moved on its own, forcing me to speak my true thoughts. So, I blurted out the one thing that I never should have revealed.

“Ohh? So you’re daring to see two people at the same time?”

“O-Of course not! To be honest, playing with that other girl was the main goal for today!”

“So Tsukiko is just here for your enjoyment? What an amusing story. Please do tell me more.”

With these few words, the Steel King’s brow distorted even more in visible anger.

“There’s no part of it that we have to tell you about, Nee-san. First and foremost, it has nothing to do with you.”

Tsutsukakushi immediately poured fuel on the fire without hesitation.

“Nothing to do… with me…?”

I heard the sound of something snapping. The Steel King swung her shoulders towards—Before I could think it through, my feet were already carrying me. Run away. That’s the only way I’ll survive. We have to run so we live to see tomorrow.

“Senpai, what are you—”

“Just come with me!”

Taking Tsutsukakushi’s hand, I started running towards the game center’s exit. I sealed off my ears and listened to neither the protesting voice of the younger Tsutsukakushi sister, nor the enraged voice of the older Tsutsukakushi sister. Leaving behind the sweets and our belongings, I took Tsutsukakushi with me and just ran.

I won’t let go of her hand. If I did, it’d feel like I was letting go of my soul as a whole… I thought that was a cool line, but I was actually just ripping off a great game by saying that. Do give that game a try, though, everyone!

The instant we made it outside the game center, the normally tsundere God in the heavens apparently decided to play nice today, and a taxi passed right in front of us. An empty one. I opened the door, jumped inside with Tsutsukakushi, and threw my wallet at the driver.

“Take us as far as this money will get us!”

“Senpai, wait—”

“Heh, you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be getting my allowance soon.”

“That’s not—”

“Just be quiet for a second! Hurry up and start driving already!”

I pulled her small body down, closing off her mouth that kept bugging me with peculiar comments. She might not like the idea of running away from her older sister, but when it’s a state of emergency, citizens must have their freedom of speech limited.

A quick glance in the side mirror let me see the Steel King chasing us. I could feel her killing intent even through the doors of the car.

“…! —!!!”

Tsutsukakushi was struggling on top of my lap, and the driver gave me a dubious, worried gaze.

“I thought that this might be an abduction for a moment. But provoking a young man who’s already breaking the law is dangerous…”

Things started to feel like practice for an interview, as the driver avoided eye contact as the car picked up speed. Taking a taxi without deciding where you’re going feels kinda neat, to be honest. I can’t deny that it made me feel like some kind of rebel. Gazing outside the window of the car, I hummed a tune about living a lawless life, getting more and more into it as I went along. And yes, I understood that I was doing something bad, but still…

“Mguh!”

“Ouch?! Why do you always have to bite me?!”

You don’t have to dig your teeth into my flesh that hard, okay?! While gnawing on the palm of my hand, Tsutsukakushi glared at me with ice-cold eyes. Is she teething right now or something? Is she like a cat that needs training? She continued to chew on my hand until I removed it from her mouth.

“…Whew… That hurt just now. Why do you always have to be so rough?” Letting out a sigh, Tsutsukakushi pulled herself off of my lap.

“Because the Steel King—Your older sister would have turned us into mincemeat! We would have needed a memorial service by the time she was done.”

“You’re exaggerating again, Senpai. Onee-san isn’t a fierce animal or a bulldozer or anything like that. We didn’t do anything wrong, so telling her that to her face was the best choice.”

“You might’ve been able to because you’re her little sister, but it’s not the same for everyone else. Also, why did you never tell me that she’s your older sister? I nearly had a heart attack there.”

Up until then, Tsutsukakushi had never called the Steel King ‘Onee-san.’ It was always ‘That person’ or ‘The club president.’ Is such a distant relationship between sisters even possible nowadays?

“I assumed you would at least know the club president’s family name, since you’re part of her club. And also…” Tsutsukakushi hesitated for a second, averting her gaze. “If you got into a fight with your friend, you wouldn’t want to talk about it either, right? But that’s not important right now.”

“It is! It’s the main topic right now!”

“No, it isn’t. What are you going to do about Azuki-san?”

“Ah…”

All color vanished from my face. How long has it been since we left the shopping district? When I got my wallet from the driver and paid for how much we’d ridden thus far, I found that I was completely out of money. When we got off the taxi, we found ourselves on the national highway, meaning that there were more than five kilometers between us and the shopping district. There was no train for us to take anywhere around, and we had left Tsutsukakushi’s belongings back at the game center. I had managed to get Azuki Azusa’s phone number once before, but she deleted that due to the navel picture. I guess the dear God in the heavens above wasn’t being kind to me today, after all.

“…W-We’ll just have to run back!”

Even before I could say that, Tsutsukakushi had started running along a wide path next to the highway, and I quickly chased after her. This time around, I didn’t feel like holding hands. I was afraid that she might bite me again.

It felt like we kept running for all eternity. We were making our way towards something in the far distance, trying not to stray off course.

Five kilometers wasn’t the longest distance for a member of the track-and-field club, even though I was on break. For someone who at best played catch with kids at the welfare facility, five kilometers were quite a long distance, though. For the final stretch, I pushed her, pulled her, and was rejected in my offers to carry her. We finally made it back to the shopping district roughly 30 minutes after our departure.

We barged into the game center, drenched with sweat, and there we found Azuki Azusa sitting on the same bench. Thank God, we made it in time—I felt relieved for a brief moment and started trying to think about what I could say in apology, but all of the words immediately got stuck in my throat.

Azuki Azusa wasn’t alone. Surrounding her on both sides were two girls, looking almost like they were laughing down at her.

“It’s been a while, little Ms. Earnest! How have you been doing?”

“Changing your hair and your looks? What is this? Some game center debut? Aren’t you working hard~”

Azuki Azusa’s face was cast downward, hiding behind the hair that was dolled up like a rich girl. But said rich girl didn’t exist.

“We’ve heard all about your new school and new friends~”

“But she came here all alone, so all that didn’t really work out, huh?~”

“I see, sorry about that~”

Judging from the clothes the two girls were wearing, they looked like they were employees at this game center. And if their height was anything to go by, they seemed to be high school students working a part-time job. That was all I could tell. I couldn’t ignore what they were saying and what Azuki Azusa was hearing. I didn’t want to.

“If you’re still a loner out here, Ms. Earnest, why don’t you come back to our school?~”

“It wasn’t our fault that you transferred away, was it?~ We were a bit worried, you know~”

Azuki Azusa was tightly gripping the wrappers from the sweets we left behind. She wasn’t even looking at Tsutsukakushi’s pouch, or anywhere else for that matter. She had her face cast downward, entirely pale, and her lips were quivering. The girls seemed to be oblivious to her plight. They just tapped her on the head, showing no hesitation to laugh their hearts out.

My instincts were telling me that this was bad. I felt the blood rushing to my head. They were an enemy. There was no need for reason or logic. I just knew.

“…Hmm? So you’ve returned, Yokodera. I’ve grown tired of waiting. About Tsukiko and her date…”

“That doesn’t matter right now! Get out of the way, you moron! …No, I’m the moron! How did things end up like this?! Why did I have to fail at a moment like this?!”

“Wha… eh?”

“I’m such a big, useless idiot! And you are too! Get out of the way, moron!”

“Eh? Ah.”

I pushed away the girl with the ponytail who was obstructing my view.

“…A moron? Me? Why?”

She muttered something to herself, but I didn’t have time to care about that.

“What are you doing to Azuki-san?”

While I was being held back by an obstacle, Tsutsukakishi slipped past and made her way to the bench. In response to her calm, indifferent voice, the girls looked confused for a second, only to burst out laughing.

“What, you a friend of Ms. Earnest? You sure aren’t the most friendly around. How old are you? Ah, I’m not laughing, okay. She’s your number one… friend, right?”

“I mean, even if you couldn’t make any friends in high school, having a grade school kid for a friend is better than not having one. I feel relieved now~”

Now they were placing their hands on Tsutsukakushi’s shoulders. Her slender body shook quite a bit from the impact. Although she looked calm and collected on the outside, I could tell that she was scared. Her legs were shaking ever so slightly.

“…Stop it already!”

Before I realized it, I had already grabbed the girls by the arms.

“Huuuh? Who are you now~?”

“We’re talking with Ms. Earnest here, so please don’t interrupt us~”

“Shut up! You’re all idiots! Idiots should keep quiet!” I screamed.

It felt like I was getting angry at someone else’s problem. Was it because they made fun of Azuki Azusa and Tsutsukakushi? No. Was it because the date didn’t go well? No. So then, why?

“Ahhh, why can’t I talk properly anymore! What happened to my ability to talk?”

I was confused about why I was doing this. I couldn’t comprehend the feelings I myself was having. Because of that, I was unable to formulate proper sentences.

“Huh…? Why are you acting like you’re hot stuff or something?”

“Shut it, okay? Security! There’s a weird guy in here~”

The girls waved their hands in hopes that someone would look over here, but their wish wasn’t granted.

“…You rang? I’m in a really foul mood right now if you couldn’t tell.”

The Steel King lifted them into the air with one hand. Her face looked like a terrifying noh³ mask you’d see in old theaters.

“I finally figured out where my foolish little sister went off to, found out that my idiotic little sister is being two-timed, found out that was a misunderstanding on my part, and just when I thought everything was fine, the man in the middle of all of this called me a moron. I don’t get it. I’ve never seen anything more unreasonable. And now you two decided to touch my foolish little sister with your dirty, foolish little hands. So how about I share a bit of this unreasonable situation with you? There’s no need to be afraid. Just take it.”

She carried the girls outside the store. From there, we heard their screams of agony. But that didn’t matter right now. It was as trivial as wondering if the Hawaii in the background of an idol picture collection was the real one or not. What I have to do right now is—

“See, I knew it.”

Azuki Azusa slowly shook her head left and right and got up from the bench.

“We’re not friends. It’s not like I was expecting anything in the first place,” She was still clutching the candy wrapper.

As if announcing that the happy time was over, she threw the paper into a nearby trash can and flashed us a shallow smile.

“Th-That’s not it. I do feel bad for not waiting for you, but there were some extenuating circumstances…”

“Yeah, that makes sense. Everyone has circumstances like that. Can I just ask one thing? Why did you invite me out on this date in the first place?”

“I told you before. It’s to show you my good parts…”

“Is that all? It can’t be. You had another reason, right?”

From the bottom of my heart, I wished that she would just yell at me like she always would. But her voice now was calm and collected. Like a sickened dog, she spouted words of self-deprecation, her eyes devoid of any emotion. And I still can’t even lie to her.

“Th-That’s not… Well, it’s not exactly… That’s not it. There’s a reason for all of this. There’s really complicated circumstances.”

“Circumstances again, huh? I can already imagine. It’s the same with this date. You were just deceiving me. You called this other person here, to. You tried to get me to let down my guard. You made me wait. You made me meet my former classmates. You created circumstances like the deceiving snake that you are.”

They were a mere 30 minutes. But 30 minutes is 30 minutes. How did she feel when she saw that empty bench? How did she feel while she waited here for us? It was the same as when I had reported my investigation results to her. It was like she had reached the end of her rope, suffering a hundredfold the pain from a wound that should normally be trivial. She was hit by it like a truck.

“I knew you were just making fun of me. You must have been enjoying yourselves, watching the reactions I made. You must have been laughing behind my back, as you called yourselves my friends. I just played along… because I knew it the entire time. Even though I did… So stupid.”

Why did she feel like that? Tsutsukakushi shook her head. Several times, as fiercely as she could. Even though her expression didn’t change, you could clearly read her emotions. That was the real Tsutsukakushi.

“That’s not true. We weren’t planning for this to happen.”

“It’s fine. You don’t need to force yourself to keep lying. I’m not bothered by it at all, and I don’t have any reason to be, either.” Azuki Azusa bit her lip.

Her facade was like a spell that bound her. I knew this kind of expression. I knew why her legs were shaking. I knew that she couldn’t put her real feelings into words. And I knew that she still couldn’t give up her facade all the same.

“Wait a second, please. I’ll apologize, but please, hear us out—” Tsutsukakushi clung to Azuki Azusa, who had turned around.

She pulled on her arm, only to be ignored, leaving her unable to speak.

“Ah—”

I couldn’t find any words appropriate for this. Even my tongue, which always forced me to blurt out my real feelings, felt bottled up inside my mouth.

“…Get out of my way.”

She pushed my chest.

“Every one. Every single one of you has to lie. Why… do you have to deceive others like that? Talking with a cockatoo would have been more profitable, honestly.” She chose her words carefully, trying to keep the dam inside of her from breaking.

Her voice made it sound like she was desperately clinging to her pride, and yet tears were almost breaking from the edges of her dead eyes.

“Could you not talk to me again? I have less interest in you people than the empty shell of a cicada.”

The words sounded familiar. They seemed directed at us, but they actually weren’t. She was agonizing over something that had awakened deep inside of her. It felt like I had opened Pandora’s box.

“Azuki-san—” Tsutsukakushi tried to call out to her one more time.

Unable to openly show her regret and pain on her face, unable to clear Azuki Azusa of her misunderstanding, she could only call out to her in an indifferent, expressionless voice.

Eventually Azuki Azusa vanished into the shopping district. She looked like a withering sunflower about to break out in tears. Because of the facade, though, she couldn’t, and she didn’t stop to look left or right. I could only stand and watch in awe. At an important time like this, I had been unable to say anything. Even without my own facade. That alone made me feel helpless.

…All three of us are incomplete, imperfect beings. We’re unable to speak our real feelings. We rely on our facade, we’re unable to use a facade at all. Nobody could be happy like this.

---

1 Yiddish theater song about a calf being led to the slaughter

2 A reference to the light novel series ‘Maria-sama ga Miteru’, which starts by a girl fixing the necktie of the protagonist Yumi.

3 Dis