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Epilogue
*
Ehehehe, I love you, Onii-chan!
I tried thinking back to when exactly I had started to love Onii-chan this much. But I couldn’t. Even if I try to recall the oldest memory I have, I was already an Onii-chan-loving little sister. Basically, I’m sure that I’ve been in love with Onii-chan since the moment I was born. It is not destiny, nor is it something that’s supposed to be seen as romantic.
O-Of course, I’ve imagined it as something romantic before, and it’s written down that way in my Onii-chan notes. In great detail, even.
Ahem. But I don’t think it’s destiny. If I had to put a finger on it, I would just say that it’s just obvious for me. Just like breathing and eating, loving Onii-chan is my raison d’étre, and the basic premise behind how I live.
Onii-chan, Onii-chan. Hey, Onii-chan!
That’s why I always stayed with Onii-chan. I had never doubted that for a second. Because having Onii-chan with me was happiness. I lived this happiness. I never thought that there could be anything else. Just staying with Onii-chan forever, becoming his wife in the future, and the world would keep on turning. However—
Onii-chan, you idiot!
This world one day shattered into a thousand pieces. Back then, I had no idea why it had happened. Of course, my personality and my inability to be honest is partially to blame. That being said, this personality might have come from this emotion I felt back then.
That I became unable to accept Onii-chan’s kindness. That I became unable to openly express my feelings for Onii-chan. Even though I loved him this much, so much I could barely take it, maybe this was just ill intent on my part?
I bring misfortune to Onii-chan. Onii-chan is sacrificing his own happiness because of me. I might have already realized this a long time ago. While not being openly aware of it, I subconsciously distanced myself from him. These words were a result of that.
…No. Thinking about it now won’t change a thing. Only recently… no, just now, I finally started understanding my own feelings. No matter what happened in the past, even if it all came crashing down again today.
There is only one thing I have to do. I want Onii-chan to be happy. I want Onii-chan to keep smiling like he really means it. I want him to smile this way towards me. But I definitely don’t want him to sacrifice himself for my sake. Because I really really really love Onii-chan…!
“I… I love you, Onii-chan…”
That’s why I had to take the step forward. I… finally confessed… Uuuu… I’m so anxious I could cry! My heartbeat is annoyingly loud, and I can feel my brain turning to mush! I’ve fantasized about a confession like this so many times before, but now that it’s come down to it, it was more tough than anticipated…
What does Onii-chan think? Will he turn me down? A storm of questions like these started whirling around in my head, making me want to disappear from the face of the earth immediately. But I won’t run away.
I’ve decided not to run away anymore. I won’t run away from my anxiety like I did back then. For my sake, and even more so for Onii-chan’s sake. Still, all I can do is wait for Onii-chan’s reply. No matter his response, I’ll accept it. I won’t regret it. After all, this confession finally laid my true feelings bare!
“…Suzuka.”
Finally, Onii-chan’s started to reply.
“Suzuka, I—”
CClaw Translations 