Motokano to no Jirettai Gisou Kekkon Volume 1 Chapter 6

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Hugging Practice

Talking about Tamaki Rio’s family—the owners of the Japanese sweets maker ‘Tamakiya’, you could refer to it as a famous enterprise in the north east of Japan. There exist several branch stores, and everybody could hum the TV ad jingle they’d play on local television.

It all apparently started with a one-person business focussing on dorayaki¹, and now that the business had lasted for 50 years, it expanded into a great enterprise offering various other sweets in their sortiment. Not to mention that they’ve started working on things completely unrelated to sweets.

The grandparents of the Tamakiya had always been on good terms with the Isurugi Family, who governed over this area as the landlords. In the north east, Tamakiya might be an unrivaled sweets maker. However, last year, and the year before that, it was a time of tragedies for them.

For beginners, the new business they invested in, creating craft beer, which required a great amount of funds, ended up in failure because of a lack of know-how, and the rival’s goods. Adding to that, one of their crucial factories was flooded caused by the overflowing of a river through a tsunami, and all machines came to a halt. Furthermore, two people of the upper brass were arrested because of usurpation and molestation. A lot of other unfortunate events stacked up, which left Tamakiya in a desperate financial situation.

The bank requested business reduction and cut of employees, and even so they found themselves in a worst-case scenario where even doing all of that had low chances of fixing this disaster. Throw away your employees, or sell their business and have their management replaced. Either way, the current Tamakiya would undergo drastic change no matter the choice taken. Having realized this—I gave Rio a call. I called my ex-girlfriend that I hadn’t talked to ever since we broke up.

‘Haru…’

Rio’s voice that greeted me on the phone…was quivering. To be perfectly honest, I had prepared myself to be insulted. Contacting my ex-girlfriend under such circumstances might just me meddling. Maybe she doesn’t need any help from me after all. All of these possibilities filled my head, but…

‘What should I do, Haru…Tamakiya…the Tamakiya Grandma built…it might all vanish…’

The moment I heard her faint voice, riddled with pain and anxiety—even the smallest bit of doubt vanished from inside of me. It felt like the brakes holding me back broke.

“Rio, please marry me.”

‘…H-Huuuh?!’

A few seconds of silence passed, until Rio let out an utterly baffled voice.

‘M-Marry…What are you talking about, at such a time!’

“I’m saying it because it’s now or never.” I didn’t beat around the bush, and continued. “I did say marry, but…it’ll be a marriage for both of us to fulfill our goals. It’ll be a fake marriage, so to speak.”

‘F-Fake…’

“We have deep connections to Tamakiya ourselves. Both my old man and Gramps are trying to think of ways on how to help you. But…they can’t help you solely out of good-will. In order for a prestigious family to move…you need a just cause.”

‘J-Just cause…so basically.’

“That’s right, our marriage.”

If it was the marriage of their children, then that would be enough of a pretext and just cause for the family to move. It might seem quite old-fashioned, but these kinds of ideals still exist in these businesses and enterprises here. Not to mention—that it greatly helps the image.

‘The youngest daughter of Tamakiya marries the youngest son of the Isurugi Family’ headline will help immensely to cast aside the negative image Tamakiya has right now.

“I already talked to my parents about it. If I were to get married with you…then we would offer a helping hand for the rehabilitation of Tamakiya’s management.”

‘R-Really!?’ Her voice was filled with hope for a second, only to immediately sink in anxiety again. ‘B-But…are you okay with that? Why are you going that far just to help my family?’

“…I sadly have to get married as quickly as possible. I’ll explain everything later, but Akino-san’s been annoying me for a while. That’s why…don’t feel like you’re indebted to me or anything, I profit from this as much as you do.” I took a deep breath, and made up my mind. “You might not want to see my face ever again. You might hate the idea of getting married to me, even if it’s only one paper…But, if it’s possible, I want you to accept this.”

‘……’

“Of course, you can always say no. If that’s the case, then we’ll think of something else. Since it won’t be decided right away, you can take your time and think—”

‘—Alright.’ Rio interrupted my words mid-sentence. ‘I’ll accept your offer—No, I should actually ask for that.’

Please marry me, she said.

And thus, our fake marriage began. Starting from the conclusion, you could say that things are going well, at least according to the plan. After our marriage, the Isurugi Group supported the management of Tamakiya. Since this dire situation was caused by a line of accidents or incidents out of their reach, once they made it through this, they should be able to get back to former glory.

The employees of Tamakiya were clearly thankful to me and Rio for this, but honestly speaking…I couldn’t be too happy about it. In the end, we were still deceiving them. Most importantly…I felt pathetic for being powerless. Without the help of my family, I wouldn’t even have been able to save a single ex-girlfriend of mine.

“Hey, Haru.” As we were eating dinner in the kitchen, Rio opened her mouth.

On a side note, today’s menu was pork fried with ginger, and some salad. The food Rio could cook was very family-oriented and made for the common man. Apparently, Hayashida-san hammered this into her during her housewife education. It might not be flashy, but it has an average taste that I could enjoy every day.

“About the gift we got from Akino-san a while ago…what should we do about the return gift.”

“Ahh…good question.”

Since we received a gift to celebrate our marriage, it’s common practice to return something else, and proper manners at that. I looked into it myself, but apparently it’s a very distinct Japanese ‘Return culture’, which isn’t exactly written down in the law or anything like that, but more engraved in our minds the moment we grow up.

When returning the favor with a gift for marriage, you basically search out a gift that is worth half the amount of the original celebratory gift.

“Knowing about her actual personality, I just want to give her something to get it over with…But since she gave us 100.000 yen, we need to give it some proper thought.” Rio said, mainly driven by her pride.

A gift of 100.000 yen does seem quite expensive, but if you look at it as a celebratory gift for your brother-in-law, it doesn’t feel like that much.

“Well, there’s no label to the money, so let’s just use the money we got, and give a proper thank you gift back.”

So that she wouldn’t be able to hold anything against us, it’s best to protect common sense and manners.

“You’re right. So, since we received 100.000 yen as a gift, we need to give half back…But, what do we buy with 50.000 yen?”

“I read online that with an expensive gift, it’s not necessary to return it half like you normally would.”

“Yeah. So then…I’ll put it all into one. Since we also received presents from Tamakiya’s employees, I’ll gather it together.”

“Can I leave that to you?”

“I’ve gotten used to running around visiting our relatives after all, so leave it to your excellent wife.” She spoke with confidence.

Without that last part, I’d actually see her as an excellent wife, but whatever. After we finished eating our dinner, we carried the plates to the kitchen, and started doing the dishes. It turned into a habit that we’d always do it together. Rio was adamant on taking care of it herself, but since she’s taking care of the cooking, I wanted to repay her in some way at least, otherwise I’d just feel guilty. In the end, we both got done with it together, which let us relax more.

“Haru, can you grab me the kettle inside the rice cooker? I’ll wash that as well.”

“Aye.” I bent my waist to reach the rice cooker from the tableware shelf.

Right as I wanted to turn around the inner lid and kettle—an accident happened. I felt a squishy sensation on my elbow.

“Ahnn!”

At the same time, I heard an adorable shriek from above my head. It might be a bit late to say this, but…this room is rather small. If the both of us worked here at the same time, there’s barely any open space. In order to hand Rio the inner lid and kettle, I stood up, and happened to bump into her behind me. To be more accurate, my elbow stabbed into her butt.

Right now, Rio is wearing her casual room clothes she wears at home. Her panties must be rather loose, and very thin…that’s why I could directly feel the elasticity from that body part. I could still pick up that sensation on the tip of my elbow, which led me to blush.

“Sorry, I didn’t do that on purpose, I just…”

“I-I know that.” Rio said, as if she was desperate to suppress her own shame. “This room is pretty narrow, so it can’t be helped if you bump into me…You don’t have to apologize just because your elbow hit me.”

“But, it rammed into your butt pretty hard…”

“~~~!! Idiot! You don’t need to explain it!”

In the end, she still got angry at me. After that, we both stayed in this awkward atmosphere, continuing to wash the dishes. Right as we finished it…

“…We might need to do something about this.” Rio muttered.

“About what?”

“This awkward and stiff atmosphere. We shouldn’t get this weird around each other just because our bodies touched.”

“……”

“This kind of attitude is definitely suspicious. A normal couple wouldn’t panic just because of some skinship.”

That does make sense. A married couple normally passed several other steps on their relationship. After moving in together, they wouldn’t be shaking by a bit of skin contact.

“The reason Akino-san grew even more doubtful of us is because she saw this awkward distance between us, right?”

“…Seems like it.”

Though according to her, I was the one who played it awfully. Something along the lines of my virgin scent filling the air…Damn it, just remembering makes my heart feel like it’s about to break.

“We should do something about this. Akino-san will be continuing to watch us anyway…and if someone else saw us like this, they might start doubting us as well.”

“Yeah…makes sense.”

I want to do something about this. But, I don’t know what. I can’t help growing flustered. No matter how a virgin might try to resist, I’m still a virgin.

“I was thinking about this, but the best possible option…is to get used to it, right?”

“Get used to it…”

“I’m sure that every married couple was awkward in the beginning, and uncomfortable in these kinds of situations. But, by gathering all sorts of experience, they got used to each other, and then finally received this ‘married couple feeling’, you know?” Rio continued with an indifferent tone.

However, her face was still red, and in order to hide her embarrassment, she started talking about logical reasoning more than feeling.

“In order to obtain this ‘married couple feeling’, I think that we need to experience all sorts of things with the other person, and raise our intimacy.”

“……”

Raise our intimacy…so that this awkward atmosphere doesn’t happen just because of a little bit of contact. To put that into words, it would mean…

“Basically…you’re telling me to touch your butt more?”

“No, you idiot!”

Seems like I was wrong.

“Why would it end up that way!? Are you stupid!?”

“Y-You brought it up, right? That’s why…so that we won’t get shaken just by me touching your butt, if I got used to it, then…”

“Way off! O-Only a pervert would do that!” She blushed fiercely, and let out a sigh. “…I wasn’t talking about any sexual body touching, but more of simple skinship…” She calmed down a bit, and continued. “A married couple would see a bit of skinship as totally normal. That’s why, if we get used to that as well, our acting will turn out better, surely. We’d definitely stop panicking just because of a bit of touching like before.”

Hmm,I see. So skinship but not in the sexual type.

“…I get where you’re coming from, but what do you have in mind? I can’t exactly think of a simple example for skinship.”

“Well, for example—” Rio spoke up with an awkward voice, trying to hide her embarrassment which clearly didn’t work. “—H-How about we start with a hug?”

We stood in the living room, almost like we were facing each other for battle. I get that this is practice for us to not end up as stiff as before, but…it feels even more awful knowing that we’d practice. An awkward atmosphere filled the room—only for Rio’s eyes to open wide. She seemed determined…or just gungho.

“L-Let’s do this!”

“…No, hold on! Wait just a second!”

I felt terrified because of Rio’s determination, and pleaded with her to halt.

“What is it?”

“Well, you know…isn’t a hug too much of a hurdle?”

A hug…it’s a hug, you know? The kind where you embrace each other, right? I feel like we skipped a few steps here.

“I feel like we’re getting ahead of ourselves here, if we’re just going to practice some simple skinship…”

“If we don’t do something more stimulating, it won’t even be proper practice. Not to mention…A hug is totally normal, right? In America, a hug is something like a greeting.”

“But we’re in Japan right now…And also.”

I do feel pathetic confirming it only this late into the game, but I couldn’t help asking.

“Don’t you…hate it?”

“…Not really.” Rio said with no change of emotion. “I’m not a middle school girl, so a hug is nothing special. I don’t feel anything, absolutely nothing.”

Stop lying, I thought. She’s blushing just as much as me, if not even more.

“Also…we’ve already hugged before, haven’t we.” Rio averted her gaze in embarrassment, muttering these words. “When we were dating…on that cold autumn day…”

“…The one on the bench of the public park? I…think that one was different from a normal hug. Since you said ‘Hug me’ with a sweet voice, I gently embraced your shoulders, that’s all…”

“I-I didn’t say it like that! Also…whose fault do you think it is that I was forced to say that!?”

“Eh, mine?”

“It’s because you didn’t get it at all! I kept saying ‘Ahh, so cold’ and ‘Sure is cold today’ over and over, trying to make an appeal, but you wouldn’t hug me at all, so I had to say it directly…! It’s all because you’re so dense!”

“As if I could figure that out!”

I screamed at the top of my lungs, but to be perfectly honest…I had actually felt like that’s what she was playing at. I thought to myself ‘If she’s constantly complaining about how cold it is, maybe she wants me to hug her?’, only to cast that away with a ‘No, there’s no way. What am I thinking, gross’, and gave up. The act of taking the first step and hugging her like a handsome guy would…sadly was impossible for someone like me with no experience.

“…Let’s stop digging around in our dark past. We don’t gain anything from it.”

“…Agreed.”

We both let out exhausted sighs.

“So, what are we going to do?”

“…We have to. There’s no going back.” Rio scowled at me, opening her arms.

She was ready for the hug, not showing any hesitation.

“If I backed down now, it’d just show that I’m being conscious of you, and I can’t accept that.”

“Do you really have to prioritize your pride all the time?”

“Also, a woman is giving you the green light, so why are you still not doing it? You chicken of a man, don’t you feel pathetic?”

“…That’s what you call discriminiation. Also, I’m not scared. I’m just considering the consequences…But, whatever. I got it.” I stopped myself mid-excuse.

Any more than this would just be a waste of time, not to mention pathetic. As a man, I need to make up my mind, and pull through.

“It’s just a light hug, so there’s no need to endlessly ponder about it.”

“That’s right, this is nothing but practice.”

After both finished making our excuses, we looked each other in the eyes.

“Then…H-Here we go.”

“Y-Yeah.”

We slowly and awkwardly closed the distance between us. After practically touching each other, we opened our arms. And then, we gently put our arms around each other’s backs—Squeezing.

““~~!!!””

Wow. W-Wow…what is this. This…lively sensation. With her this close to me, I can directly feel her entire body. The sensation of her skin, her warmth, breath, and scent, everything was in my reach.

This is worlds apart from the hug we had back in high school. We’re embracing each other face-to-face, and we’re wearing different clothes as well. Now, we’re not wearing our stiff school uniforms, but loose room clothing. The body I felt in my arms, barely covered with fabric, was the body of a woman. It made me realize that I was hugging a woman with my own body. My head was about to go crazy with the tension and excitement—

“…D-Don’t just stay still, and say something.” Rio said, inside my arms. Her voice was quivering.

“…Why don’t you say something?”

“W-Well…it’s about what I expected.”

“R-Right. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Yeah, this is nothing special.”

Of course, it was a very big deal. LIke seriously, I thought my own reasoning would be blown to smithereens any second. Everything of Rio I felt inside my arms was aiming for my heart. The most dangerous of all—was her chest. Her breasts often have my gaze drift towards it, but now they’re being pressed onto me strong enough for them to change shape.

She should be aware of this, and yet she’s not saying anything…Does that mean she prepared herself for this? This is bad, isn’t it? They do this as a greeting overseas? How can you not think anything about anything sexual here. Even if I did this with someone I didn’t have any feelings for, I might just develop some anyway. Especially so if I did it with my ex-girlfriend who I still have lingering attachments to…

“…Hey.”

As I was agonizing inside my heart, I heard Rio’s faint voice.

“…Shouldn’t we…move on to the next action?”

“Next…action…?”

“…Hey now, why don’t you think about that yourself? Can’t you do anything without me pointing it out?”

“Urk…”

It’s true that I might have been on the receiving end too much. But, since she was the one who came up with it, wouldn’t it be logical for her to just…No, I guess that isn’t any good of an excuse. Since this is a problem of the both of us, just leaving everything to her would be irresponsible. Then, next would be…

“……”

I came up with one thing, and moved to action. I removed my hands from her back, putting them on her shoulders next. I took a step back, and looked her directly in the eyes, while desperately trying to hide my embarrassment.

“I love you, Rio.”

“~~~!?”

After turning beet red for a moment, she was now fuming. Next, she put her hands on my chest, shoving me away.

“Wha…eh…H-Huuuh!? What are you doing!? W-Why…would you suddenly say something like that!?” She screamed with a loud voice, her gaze wandering all over.

It looked like she was panicking.

“I mean…you talked about the next action, so…I figured that whispering you words of love would be fitting for a married couple…”

“Why would things end up that way!? There…there has to be something more light…like patting me on the head, or putting your hand on my head!”

“A-Ahh, I see…”

Rubbing her head, huh. I guess she was only speaking of the next action in the context of a hug.

“And, throwing in a surprise attack like that is just…Uuuuu…!” She hid her face with her hands, letting out a groan. “This is the worst…you’ve always been like this…Dense, and not knowing what to do when the time comes, yet suddenly going all out…”

“…Sorry.” I could only apologize.

This time, I was clearly at fault, so I couldn’t argue back. Seriously, what was I doing. How many years has it been since I said those words?

“Seriously, what are you going to do with this mood, huh…?”

“…I don’t know.”

Our goal was to get used to each other by hugging, and now we’ve only grown more conscious of the other. It had the exact opposite effect, which made it only more awkward. If anything, the next time our bodies touch in any way, I’d probably be reminded of this hug, which had the exact opposite effect.

“I guess…skinship practice was too early for us. When it fails like this, it’ll only negatively influence our future life together, that’s all…”

“O-Of course not! There’s no way my idea would be wrong. It just didn’t work out this time.” She continued, seemingly slightly embarrassed, but determined. “Let’s do it again.”

“…W-We’re going to hug more?”

“No, we’ll take a different pattern from before.” Rio said. “This time…I have confirmed information that if we do this, we’ll definitely end up closer, and more used to it.”

❀

A few hours prior.

“Ahhh, being at home really calms me down the most~”

“Are you going to pull that same line every single time?”

As I sat down on the sofa, Hayashida complained with an indifferent voice like she always would.

“You tend to come back quite frequently, Rio-sama.”

“What’s it matter? We live close-by after all.”

“If this was the Showa period, your mother-in-law would give you hell for that.”

“I’m a lady from the Reiwa period, so it’s fine. Also…I came here because I was called, so I don’t think I deserve any grudges for that?”

“That is correct. My apologies, Rio-sama, but whenever I look at you, I have this sense of duty to throw at least one complaint at you.”

“…What kind of sense of duty is that?”

“Just see it as part of your growth, Rio-sama. I am most definitely not jealous of you who is both a university student as well as a housewife. Neither am I cursing you for marrying a handsome and rich husband, yet not even staying over at your house together, and instead running home to your family’s home.”

“I can hear what you really feel, okay!”

After the same usual banter, Hayashida put down several plastic bags on the table. The reason I came back to the main family is to accept these.

“These are the celebratory gifts from the Tamakiya employees I have mentioned.”

“Wah…Wow, so many.”

Inside the plastic bags were a large amount of gift wrappings, packages, and even letters.

“I have gathered all the gifts and other small objects together…Besides this, we have received an excessive amount of fruits and vegetables, as well as consumer electronics and tableware…Taking everything with you will be impossible, so please decide on a small selection to take with you.”

“E-Ehhh…this is pretty surprising…Why are the people from Tamakiya so happy about our marriage…?”

“Are you serious with that, Rio-sama?” Hayashida shrugged her shoulders in the face of my doubt. “To the people of Tamakiya, you two are like messiahs.”

“M-Messiahs…?”

“If not for your marriage, and the resulting support from the Isurugi family, Tamakiya would not have been able to avoid cost reduction, and the dismissal of countless employees. To the average person, you saved their existence from an event that could have shaken their lives left and right.”

“……”

“I don’t know of how aware you might be of this, Rio-sama, but everybody working at Tamakiya is forever grateful to the two of you. This massive amount of gifts is the proof of this.”

“…Is that so.” A gloomy feeling filled my chest, leaving me unable to give anything but a vague response. “Being thanked and receiving all of these gifts…just makes me feel apologetic. In the end, we’re just deceiving everyone.”

Rather than feeling happy, the resulting guilt was much greater. Every single gift was like a small stab into my heart…Well, leaving aside Akino-san’s gift.

“You say that, but you formed this fake marriage solely for the sake of Tamakiya, right? In the end, the ones being saved only profited from it, so I doubt you have to feel this guilty.”

“That might be true, but…”

“…Even though you are often selfish and domineering, you say the reserved things at times like these. Just act as always, namely ‘Wohooo, presents from the common folk’, and get arrogant all on your own.”

“Is that image you have of me!?” I threw in a retort. “…Also, how could I act arrogant here.” I sighed. “I didn’t do anything. The one who came up with this fake marriage, and who offered it himself…was all him.”

I only accepted the conditions. If they call us messiahs for saying Tamakiya, then Haru is my very own messiah. Unable to do anything while my beloved family was in a pinch, spending my time crying, he offered his hand and saved me.

“I need to properly thank him one day.” I said, surprised at how honest I suddenly sounded.

“…Rio-sama, I sincerely hope I am wrong, but…have you not thanked Haru-sama yet?” Hayashida stared at me in disbelief.

“Eh…I-I didn’t, no?”

“………”

“Hey, why are you looking at me in disgust…”

“I am disgusted, and disappointed. Not thanking the person who saved your entire family from danger like that…I did not think you were this ungrateful of a brat, Rio-sama.”

“I-I’m not necessarily ungrateful. I am thankful for what he did, I just…don’t show it on my face.”

“That is what you would call ungrateful, yes.”

“Urk…B-But, this marriage has a big merit for him as well, you know? That’s why he said I didn’t need to be thankful for anything…”

“Of course he would say that. He is a very kind person after all. He was being considerate that you wouldn’t feel guilty about anything.”

“…T-That might be true, but…”

I know. Even I understand this. Haru is saying that ‘We both benefit from this marriage, so we’re equal’, but the difference in merit is overwhelming. He seems to have used this as a means of protecting himself against Akino-san’s approaches, but…that can’t be compared to what he did for me. Most of his motivation surely came from his desire to save Tamakiya. Because that is the kind of man he, Isurugi Haru, my ex-boyfriend, is—

“…I know that I have to properly give him my thanks.” I muttered. “But…I’m too embarrassed to do that…I tried to say it several times, but whenever our eyes meet, my head just turns blank.”

“Whenever your eyes meet, is it…Hmmm.” Hayashida showed a gesture like she was thinking about something. “Rio-sama, if I understand this right, then you have the desire to properly thank him, but you get too embarrassed whenever you face each other. Is that correct?”

“…R-Right.”

“Then, how about this?” She continued. “There exists this certain position only available to couples or married partners, which allows you to say things that are hard to say face-to-face…”

“…Hey, Haru, don’t just touch my belly like that.”

“S-Sorry…I can’t help it. If I don’t want to touch your chest, I can only touch your belly…”

“Urk…Then, you can touch it, but no fondling it.”

“Who’d fondle what?”

“Come on…properly put your hands around me…”

“Y-Yeah…”

“Just like that.”

We continued adjusting our posture over and over, until we found a comfortable position.

“So this…is the hug that’ll raise our affinity?”

“C-Correct. It seems to be on the high end of efficiency in that regard.” I felt like if I relaxed only for a bit, my voice would start quivering.

After all, I could hear his voice right next to me. Strictly speaking, we were even closer than during our previous hug. The breath he let out while speaking tickled my nose. Every time Haru said anything, it sent shivers down my spine.

We currently sat on the living room sofa. Haru sat down first, opening his legs wide. I sat between his legs, leaning against his chest, while he embraced me from behind. It was a so-called back hug.

“For newlywed partners or couples living together, who still need to get used to being around each other, this is the perfect position to watch TV or movies together after eating dinner.”

“Really?”

Really…I think. Hayashida told me so.

‘This is…something great, let me tell you. It makes you feel safe and at peace, knowing that you have a man with you. Also, doing it after a fight is always great. You only feel each other’s warmth, but don’t see their face, so it makes it easier to apologize.’

She said.

‘…It truly is wonderful. We did it a lot after living together, but you only start treasuring something after you lose it. Ahh, my skin longs for a human’s warmth…’

…I guess I didn’t need to remember that last part. But, anyway. As we had planned, we managed to achieve a back hug position. It was actually a lot of trouble…Since bringing up a back hug just by talking about Akino-san was far too risky for me to do, I instead brought up the idea of doing a normal hug…and I somehow managed to naturally bring us to this situation.

It’s all for this one moment. All so that Haru would give me a passionate and lovey-dovey hug like this—Wait, no. That’s not what I was aiming for! I’m doing this so that I can overcome my own embarrassment and properly thank Haru, not using any reason possible so that Haru will hug me—

“…What’s wrong?”

As I was desperately trying to make up excuses in my head, Haru whispered his voice in my ear again. Uuu…this position really is dangerous. His voice is so close, and his breath is tickling me. Every time he talks, it makes my body twitch.

“Is this raising our intimacy?”

“…Y-Yeah, sure is. Can’t you feel it?”

“Sure is vague.”

“Zip it. I can’t really tell myself, since…this is the first time I’ve done this myself.”

That’s right, this is the first time I had Haru embrace me like this. This kind of hug makes me realize that the hug we did back when I practically forced him to was nothing more than child’s play. The hug we did before was pretty real in itself, but this one is even more dangerous. I could feel my heart racing even faster, my body burning hot. Being this close to him, feeling like he is enwrapping me…is dangerous. I can only say words like ‘this is bad’ or ‘this is dangerous.’

“W-Well, you know. This is…better than the hug before. It makes me feel more relaxed, and I can already sense the ‘married couple feeling’ growing.” I muttered.

“…Right. This feels more natural than the hug before.”

I was pretty tense, but I’m slowly starting to calm down a bit. Of course, my heart is still racing as crazy, but it doesn’t feel like I’ll get a heart attack anytime soon. Compared to the hug before, I feel like my head is actually able to think calmly. There’s embarrassment and tension, but at the same time, a feeling of security and relief. A big reason for that is probably because he’s not right in front of me.

Since we don’t look each other in the eyes, I don’t have to be considerate and careful of his expression. Not to mention…my breasts aren’t hitting him, so that won’t make things awkward either. A man bigger than me is gently embracing me from behind as if to protect me. I can see why Hayashida spoke so fondly of it.

This is great. Almost…too great. Do all newlywed partners or couples of this world enjoy this kind of feeling every day? Ahh…how nice. Even though my heart is racing faster, I’m so relaxed at the same time. I want this time to continue forever—

“………”

Wait hold on. Why am I just drowning in happiness like that!? I’m forgetting my initial goal! Why am I even doing all of this! If it ended like this…and I’ll have to ask him again, that would make it seem like I really wanted a back hug like this! Like I’m just using a reason for Haru to hug me like this!

That is definitely not what’s going on right now! Everything…is so that I can properly thank Haru! Yeah…that’s right. Since we’re not facing each other, I feel like I can actually do this. Not to mention, this isn’t such a big deal. I’m just saying it because it’s proper manners, because it’s my duty as a human being…G-Giving my thanks and romantic feelings don’t have anything in common after all! I’m just thanking him as a single person. That’s all there is to it.

With this determination boiling up inside me, I was about to open my mouth, when…

“…Hey, Rio.” Haru spoke up first. “Do you not regret it?” His voice tickling my ear, filled with tension and anxiety.

“Regret…what?”

“You know…getting married to me like this.” He said, with an oddly weak and feeble tone. “When I brought up this fake marriage, I asked for your own opinion and consent, right?”

That was true. He respected my own opinion, yet again showing how considerate he was—

“But, thinking about it again like this…it really was unfair.”

“Eh…”

Unfair? What was? What is he talking about?

“From your point of view, I basically gave you no other option but to marry me. Your family’s existence was on the line after all. I talked about your own opinion, but in the end still restrained you, giving you the idea that if you didn’t marry me, your family would be over…” He continued with a voice that sounded like he was desperate to hold back the pain. “I…basically took your family hostage. Looking at that situation, even if you hated it, hated me…you could only agree to marry me.”

“………”

“Since you love your family and Tamakiya as a whole, you wouldn’t cast them aside. I knew that, calculated that, and forced this fake marriage on to you.”

“……”

“I should have…tried to come up with a better method.”

“……”

You’re kidding, right? Haru was worried about that? He was concerned that I regret marrying him like this? I can’t believe it. Why. How. You…are my messiah, you know!? You saved my family from possibly going bankrupt. Papa, Mama, Onii-chan, every single employee from Tamakiya, even Hayashida, they’re all thankful. Of course, that includes me as well.

That phone call of Haru back then literally pulled me out of the deep despair I was in. How could I think of that as threatening me. No way would I see that as him holding my family hostage. And yet…Haru thought of it that way, carrying the responsibility and guilt from bringing up this situation. Seriously, why is he always…

“…You’re an idiot.” I said.

I had a lot of words stuck in my throat, but these were the first to come out. Apparently, I can only say things in a roundabout way like this.

“W-What do you mean? I’m being serious here…”

“You’re an idiot. Idiotically diligent and serious.”

“……”

“For crying out loud. You really don’t understand me at all. Even though I’m your childhood friend, and ex-girlfriend.”

“…What do you mean by that?”

“Listen, you might not be able to tell from how I usually act, but…I’m actually quite selfish.”

“……”

Haru grew silent. He must be shocked, thinking ‘Selfish? Who? You? Can’t imagine that from someone as sincere as you’. I just know it.

“Also, I’m sure you don’t even know, but…I’m the type of person who clearly says when she hates something. I’m usually hiding it, but I can be quite arrogant and forceful.”

“……”

Haru grew silent again. He must be shocked, thinking ‘No way, this woman always thinks of others first, I’ve never seen her act selfish and arrogant’. I just know him.

“Saying that I don’t like things is usually a side I try to hide. Food, clothes, the place I live at…and even the person I married.” I continued. “Even if it’s a marriage on paper, I wouldn’t agree to do it with someone I hated..”

“Rio…”

“I-I just don’t hate you, okay! Doesn’t mean I particularly like you! Just saying that there’s no minus!” I took a deep breath, and got my own words under control before I continued. “Seriously…you think about everything way too much. Even in this case, you could act more proud about it, like ‘Look at that, my benevolence saved other people!’, you know.”

“…Can I really do that…”

“Everyone is thankful to you, Haru. Papa, Mama, everyone from Tamakiya, and everybody else involved, you saved them. Of course…the same goes for me as well.” I put my hand on Haru’s placed on my belly.

Confirming his hand, as well as his existence behind me, I continued.

“Thank you, Haru. I’m grateful that you married me.”

The words I could never say, they suddenly came out much easier. I really am an idiot. I should have been honest from the start. If it had helped in clearing up his anxiety, I should have said so earlier.

“Rio…”

After I heard my name being called out, I felt Haru’s strength in his arms hugging me growing stronger. Almost as if trying to display—that I was his.

“H-Haru…”

“……”

“Aren’t you…putting a bit too much strength into this?”

“…Sorry, I’m not used to it, so I can’t tell.”

“…Really now. You really are clumsy.”

“I can stop if you hate it?”

“…Do what you want.”

When I gave back a dishonest response, I felt Haru put even more strength into it. I realized just how much I was blushing. I’m so glad he couldn’t look at my face.

After that, Haru continued to tightly hold onto me.

I don’t understand myself. Even though I’m always honest about things I dislike—why can’t I ever become honest with the things I like?

We watched TV together, talked about this and that, with Haru occasionally clinging to me more fiercely, me throwing in a tease…but overall we spent a comfortable time together. I think this back hug continued for about an hour. After we looked at each other again—we were unable to even keep eye contact.

““~~~!?””

We immediately averted her gazes. Ahhh, so embarrassing! What were we doing until right now!? Did we really flirt that much just because we couldn’t see each other’s faces!? We did so much we normally wouldn’t!? Wah, this is…the power of a back hug…

“…Um.”

When I was busy hiding my face with both my hands, Haru opened his mouth.

“Seems like…it worked pretty well.”

“Y-You think so?”

I feel like it had the opposite effect though. I’m way too conscious of you to even look you in the eyes.

“I mean…I-It still is as awkward as before, but…I feel like I’ve gotten a bit more used to the skinship.”

“Y-Yeah, maybe.”

Duh, we did that for quite some time after all.

“W-Well…isn’t that fine then? I didn’t expect everything would be resolved with doing something like this once.” I showed a bitter smile.

“Yeah…you’re right. Doing it only once isn’t enough.”

“…Yes.”

“Yep…”

“T-That’s why…you know, if you’re that adamant on it, we could…do this…again…another time?” I glanced at Haru.

“I…don’t really care either way. Not like it’s that big of a deal.”

“Yeah, you can say that again. It’s no biggie. Doing it or not…doesn’t matter…So, we might as well?”

“R-Right. Since it doesn’t hurt, we might as well.”

“Then…yeah.”

“Yeah, um, like that.”

“Again…another time.”

“Some other time, yeah.”

Thus, this back hug became a regular event for us as a married couple.

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1 Dessert sandwich of two small sweet pancakes and red bean paste