If you like our work, please follow us on our social media, join our discord and consider supporting us on Patreon:
https://discord.gg/e4BJxX6
https://www.patreon.com/CClawTrans
Reunion. Or Perhaps Critique of Pure Reason
The light rain drenched the rain door. I stood on the porch as the ashen-grey and cloudy sky looked down on me. Neither my hands nor my feet, not even my fingers or the nails on them felt like moving. After all, in the dusty mirror standing in the corner of the banquet hall, I could see a young boy too young to be myself, who stared at me with wide open eyes like he had seen a ghost.
I must have also had a similar expression on my face. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the mirror. It was like my eyeballs had been trained to only look that way. My heart was beating uncomfortably hard, and a cold sweat ran down my back.
“Why…?” A faint voice escaped my lips.
My voice that came out sounded much younger than recent memory, and it didn’t change after a few attempts either. If you were to record this soprano voice in the right environment, it’d sell out right away. Of course, I’d be the one who would buy it all up. Here, say ‘Waaah, look at what happened with that part down there.’ I dare you. I’d dance every night with the mirror. I could be entirely self-sufficient. It’d be perfect for those of the resistance who have been limited even in their 2D supply. It’d be an oasis of sorts. And then everyone lived happily ever after.
—My ass. Nothing is happy here! Be happy about this soprano later, you pervert! Yeah, fight back some more, little me! Pervert, super pervert, ultra pervert! That’s right, continue! Work some more, you perverted adult!
Using my narcissistic libido, I managed to move at least one foot even in this disastrous situation. I’m glad I brought you with me, my perverted soul. Now that my right leg can move, I can try my left. One step, one step, and another step. One two three four, I can count, yes!
I talked like this to Emi-chan before, but calling out to myself in such a manner sure is something I didn’t expect. I somehow managed to make it to the low dining table, and I picked up the newspaper on top of it. I glanced through the many articles written therein, and I once again confirmed today’s date.
My brain finally put all the pieces together. I didn’t want to understand it, but I was forced to. Yeah, this is the world as it was ten years ago, and I’m currently six years old! I had come to this time before. It happened quite some time ago, but according to Tsutsukakushi’s Japonica Notes, not even half of a year has passed since then. Thanks to a letter from her grandparents, we went back to the past.
Back then, I had kept my adult body, and I had encountered the real young Yokodera. A lot of things happened back then, and a lot of it was totally irrelevant, definitely not because I couldn’t be bothered to read the notes all the way to the end, but anyway, the young Yokodera had made a courageous choice. He wished for Steel-san to receive his own memories. After we watched this live, we went back to the future, to our current timeline.
And now I’ve come back to this time. The date is a bit later than then. As a bonus, I even get to keep my youthful appearance! This is the best!
“…How did things end up like this!?” I held my head in despair.
I was absolutely lost as to what was going on. I had wished to return to the past. However, I had assumed that I would keep my current body, and not that I would go back into the actual past timeline. The Cat God did say something about ‘I don’t care what happens anymore! Moron!’, like some kind of tsundere heroine, but I didn’t expect that idiot would actually act this irresponsible.
I can’t do the same thing I did before. What kind of harassment is this? Is it not satisfied with me or something? Maybe I should have kissed it a few more times. Maybe it wanted more French kisses instead? I’ll try that the next time we meet.
“I’ll make it so your legs aren’t able to keep you standing, you damned Cat Girl—Eh?”
I was formulating my plans for how to deal with the Cat God-chan when I felt the fierce Demon Lord aura at my back.
“This presence is…!”
Even the Cat God could not hope to win against the overwhelming pressure from the self-proclaimed Number One-san. I wasn’t the only one who made a wish back at the storehouse. She should have also time-leaped back with me.
“Tsukiko-chan! Where are you?” I frantically looked around me.
The backyard, the porch, between the floorboards, and finally… The curtain dividing the banquet hall opened. Since I expected a high-school-student-sized Tsukiko-chan, I looked around further up. However, the girl was much further down, matching my low field of view. A miniature Tsukiko-chan approached me, her limbs looking like plush toys were attached to them.
“…Mufun…”
Just like me, she had returned to her appearance from ten years ago. She was rubbing her eyes like a cat during a rainy day would. She might still be under the influence of the time leap. Or she might be attempting to act all cutesy after feeling jealous towards Cat God-chan.
“So you came with me to this world as well! Thank goodness. I thought I was all alone.” I sighed in relief to hide the tears that threatened to come out.
Whenever you’re faced with a crisis such as this, the best way to deal with it is by teaming up with a pal. It’s a common trope in a lot of famous movies, for example. Holmes has his Watson, Will Smith has Tommy Lee Jones, and Predator has the Alien… I feel like the last one isn’t quite like the others.
Either way, Yokodera Youto needs Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko with him. If you don’t succeed alone, then there’s still a chance that it won’t work out with two people. Why would you think that everything is saved now that Tsukiko-chan is here? However, I won’t give in to despair just yet! It doesn’t matter about being able to do something or not! This is not some calculative relationship of relying and being relied upon, it’s just that I need her.
When I’m with her, I can rest assured. That’s why I’m glad that I’m not alone!
*
I put a single floor cushion down in front of the dirty low dining table, and the two of us sat on it.
“It sure feels nostalgic, but also like I came back from school. I can’t even describe this feeling.”
“……Mmn…”
“Maybe you have some different feelings because this is actually your home, huh?”
“…Fumn…” Tsutsukakushi was still busy rubbing her eyes.
She looked like an actual young girl who had just woken up from her sleep. Even though she’s in the body of a young five-year-old girl, she didn’t break out in a cold sweat or start panicking like I did. It’s like she’s used to being in this state.
She’s not just cool and cute, but also calm and collected. Yay for the super heroine Tsukiko-chan! Every home needs a Tsutsukakushi! I’m thinking of cloning Tsukiko-chan so that everybody can have one. That would definitely bring peace to this star. Love & Destroy. Thanks to her being with me, I calmed down quite a bit.
“There’s lots of things to consider here, but why do you think we ended up like this?” I asked a question of my angel, and then…
“…Hawa…?” The angel blinked at me with empty eyes.
When I approached her and looked in these eyes, I felt like something was off. The unlimited power that her eyes would draw you in with that she normally had was completely gone.
“Um, Tsukiko-chan?”
“…Nufu…”
“Can you hear me?”
I had an awful premonition. I waved my hand back and forth in front of her eyes, but I couldn’t tell if she was even following it.
“Hawa… Buffafly…”
“T-Tsukiko-chan?”
“…Sun… Warm…” The Mini Moon-chan fantasized about an imaginary butterfly playing with an imaginary sun.
From her eyes and words, I could feel no signs of knowledge, and there was no trace of reason and logic.
“D-Don’t tell me…” I was baffled, and Tsukiko-chan’s hand chasing the butterfly ended up colliding with my face.
She blinked like she had encountered a suspicious totem pole, and she regained at least some level of consciousness. She moved her head, and looked up at me. A brief silence ensued. Finally, she grabbed my index finger with both of her hands.
“…Daddy…”
“Eh?”
Only to…
“Funya… Mm…”
…Stuff it into her mouth and start sucking on it. I could feel the wet and damp sensation of the tip of her tongue on my finger, rolling around, kissing the opening between the nail and skin, sometimes even gently biting it, only to caress it with her tongue yet again.
It was like she was reenacting the way you would suck on your mother’s chest as a baby. Or like Nosferatu sucking the blood of a human being. Since Nosferatu is always lonely, let’s call her a Loli Feratu! Loli Feratus are fun! Amazing! Since nobody is bothering to say it, I will.
“Daddy… Daddy…”
The Mini Tsukiko-chan’s eyes softened. The gesture she made of rubbing her cheek on my palm resembled a wild animal. A warm breath blew against my body, filling me up.
“…Mmmnn… Munn… Mfun!”
She sniffed my hand over and over, and was eventually satisfied.
“…Guh.”
Like her body’s power supply had been cut, Tsukiko-chan’s eyes closed. Her small and warm body leaned against mine and stopped moving. She felt like a heated blanket.
“T-Tsukiko-chan…”
I tried calling out to her several times, but as a result…
“…Mmm… Zzz…” She started drooling, and sweet breaths from her sleeping mouth blew against me.
My finger was still in her mouth, and she had fallen asleep. From beginning to the end, through and through, she was living according to sensations and spinal reflexes. Needless to say, no rational high school girl would dare show such irrational and embarrassing conduct. There was no longer any indication of the Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko who had barely turned 16. If anything, her mental state resembled a young girl. Both in the atmosphere around her, and in her attitude.
Was that Demon Lord aura just now my imagination? I will have to make an amendment.
“Haha, what an interesting idea.” I made a quiet laughing voice.
Still, Tsukiko-chan was already young-looking, and now her appearance is even younger. How wonderful. If she were to become even younger, she would turn into a sperm-infused egg cell, which would even put her into the safe category, scientifically speaking. I’m excited to see how far she’ll go and what path she’ll take… Well, it’s not like there’s any path to begin with.
If I were to still succeed in seeing this girl’s perfect and unparalleled naked body, my perverted path would reach its summit! Just you wait, governing god of this world! I’ll make it so your illustrations are barely safe at all!
Anyway, this is as far as I could go in terms of deceiving myself. I’m trying to run away from a reality I have to face no matter what.
“Gyaaaaah! Tsukiko-chan turned into a child!” Unable to bear with it any longer, I scratched my head so much that it started to hurt.
Are you telling me that I was the only one who was sent back in time with my consciousness still working? So I’m alone after all!? Yokodera-kun’s small hand grabbed Yokodera-kun’s short hair, and both came to this horrifying conclusion. If I was the only one who still had memories of earlier, then I was alone yet again. It’s like I was the only space pilot on a planet ruled by apes. I had cut myself away from the world, and I was the only person left in here.
What can I do in this situation? I’m in the body of a grade school student. I don’t even know what I can do, let alone if I can do it. I don’t know anything. I had calmed down for a moment, yet the startling realization afterwards was even worse. It felt like I had just reached the highest point of the rollercoaster, and was only now starting to fall downwards. Why did I have to be the only one sent into this world with my memories still intact? Where is the logic in that?
How could I accept such an occurrence? If anything, I would have at least preferred to play Adam & Eve with Tsukiko-chan and create an entirely new family!
“I won’t forgive you…!” I cursed the Cat God who had put me in this situation.
I swore that I would give it all the punishment it deserved. I writhed in agony as I did so. Also, and this doesn’t have anything to do with the Cat God, but having the sleeping Tsukiko-chan suck on my finger felt better than I thought it would, so I almost forgot to curse the Cat God at some point. That bitch. I’ll kiss her to death next time!
And then… As I hit rock bottom, without even having a chance to mentally prepare myself, I heard footsteps nearby and the door opened.
“So loud. Did you have a good dream or something?”
I was reunited with my first love.
*
“Tsukushi is still sleeping, so don’t go causing a ruckus now.” Tsukasa-san looked down at me with narrowed eyes and lifted the hood she was wearing.
She was in her usual hedgehog costume. Oh right, she had been using these pajamas to sleep in. I was observing this from an outsider’s perspective, because deep inside of my heart I had assumed that I would never get to see Tsukasa-san again. Yet she is standing right in front of me right now. It didn’t feel real at all.
“I was wondering why I couldn’t find Tsukiko. Do you even know what time it is right now?”
When she asked me that, I instinctively looked over at the clock hanging on a column. I don’t know how old it was, but it was at least still ticking. The clock hands were pointing at six, so it must be 6 am.
“…It’s pretty early, huh…?”
“So can it. Go back to bed.” Tsukasa-san picked up the sleeping Tsukiko-chan and pushed me back into the banquet hall.
I could see several blankets there, and a single girl was sleeping in a 大 pose, taking up most of the blankets around her.
“Mmmmgah! Mmm… Time is merely a natural mental image consisting of the basis of intuition, as well as an a priori1 formal condition of a general phenomenon… Mmagh?”
There we have the seven-year-old Steel-san. This was still a time when studying wasn’t prohibited, so she actually was quite knowledgeable. Even during her sleep, she was an absolute ruler. She even still had her charming point: Her ponytail, albeit shorter than I remembered it.
The only thing I cannot praise her on is her sleeping posture. Her arms and legs were spread open, and she was grinding her teeth. Oh my, oh my.
“Mmm… In other words, time is not a proven concept, or a general concept, but rather a pure expression of sensitive intuition, thus it is an experimental existence, which is why we refuse to accept the fact that time holds absolute power… Gah!”
I wonder what kind of dream she’s having. Judging from her choice of words, she must be thinking about something from Kant’s ‘Critique of Pure reason’. Is a 7-year-old girl really reading that? I mean, I guess there is. How did this genius end up as the Clumsy King? The flow of time is cruel.
But now mother and daughters are together again. Everyone looked the same as before. I smiled, and at the same time a nightmarish dizziness assaulted me.
“What’s wrong? You’re just standing around.” Tsukasa-san put Tsukiko-chan down next to Steel-san and turned towards me.
When I looked at her, she seemed to be doing fine. There were no signs of her sickness whatsoever, and she was walking on steady feet. Her throat had a healthy color as it moved up and down normally.
“Now come on over here.” From her living body came a healthy voice, filled with life and energy.
“You’re alive…”
“Huh?”
“Both Tsukasa-san and I… Just like before, we’re both alive…” I stared at the hedgehog, rubbing my eyes.
If not, my eyeballs would have fallen to the ground, unable to accept this reality in front of me. I wasn’t observing this scene from an elevated point of view, from the vantage point of my current body. No, I was seeing things as the six-year-old Yokodera Youto, and I was reliving my own past. The time I should have lost had already opened up right in front of me, and it was trying to break down my subjectivity.
Steel-san’s time ramblings came back to mind—the concept of space-time being a priori, and something that does not exist objectively in the world. The German philosopher Kant discussed this as follows.
‘Passage of time existing through subjective confirmation is, in a certain sense, a pure and reasonable perspective, which forces us to accept its practicality.’
…Well, I actually don’t know if Kant really said something like that. He might not have said anything like that at all. I bet he didn’t.
Quite the irresponsible fabrication, if I dare say so myself. Then again, as long as you say something that sounds like something the person in question could have said, it becomes reality. I think. The persuasiveness of this must be related to the fact that Kant and Kantoku sound all too similar, or that’s how I see it at least. Kantoku-sama really is the best! This might be a great bother for the well-versed Kantoku, but this person I have never met, this person from a different gender other than girl doesn’t matter at all actually, so whatever.
More important is the fact that I am currently in this reality. In my previous, small body. It’s entirely different from my last time leap. If I were to give an example, it’d be like you’re editing a recorded TV program and entering the show to confuse the people inside. Well, not really.
This is more scary than creating a time paradox. I feel like it’s something fundamental to personal identity or basic personality.
“Is something like this even allowed?”
When I thought about it, my head started to hurt, and I felt hot.
“It seems like you had a weird dream, huh?” Tsukasa-san narrowed her eyes, like she was bothered, or maybe worried. “You’re just a brat. Stop thinking about complicated stuff and get some sleep. Eventually, you’ll have a great dream. If you don’t sleep, you won’t grow.” She locked my head between her arms and stuffed me into the blanket.
To my right I had the Tsutsukakushi sisters, and to my left I had Tsukasa-san. If you look at it objectively, we are one adult and three children—a pseudo-family of four. An arm filled with motherly warmth wrapped around my shoulder. The hedgehog I could only try to remember was now next to me. Her warmth surrounded me, not letting me go.
“Tsukasa-san…”
“Quiet. I’ll sing a lullaby for you.”
I closed my eyes, pretending. Pretending like I was sleeping. And yet this warmth pulled away at my consciousness, slowly tearing me away from the world.
“Hushabye, hushabye~ The rat falls over, rat poison~ . Stand up again, Rat, do your best. The cat is good, now sleep~”
Reaching my ears, already half-asleep from exhaustion, was something that vaguely resembled a lullaby. Since she’s a hedgehog, maybe it’s some cheerful song for the rat race? The rhythm sure is out of whack, and I don’t think an actual caretaker should sing something like this. Maybe this is why the daughters in the Tsutsukakushi Family are so terribly tone deaf? It makes sense they’d end up like that after listening to this all the time.
It was out of order, a total mess all the way to the very end, way too harsh, and yet—It was a nostalgic singing voice. As I listened to the lullaby coming from my first love’s lips, I soon found myself making my way to the land of dreams.
I don’t remember having a dream that night. It was more than enough.
1 Relating/Denoting reasoning or knowledge proceeding from theoretical deduction, rather than observation other experience
CClaw Translations 