If you like our work, please follow us on our social media, join our discord and consider supporting us on Patreon:
https://discord.gg/e4BJxX6
https://www.patreon.com/CClawTrans
If you were to put a label on happiness
It was a comfortable winter afternoon, and the sun gave off lukewarm sunshine. The wind stopped entirely like I had found myself in an enclosed bay, and a clear, glasslike sky was spread out above me. No cloud whatsoever was in sight. It was weather that would easily transmit any voice, that’s for sure.
Why can I hear whistling from such a long way away? Because humans can pick up frequencies within our audible range. So if I were to scream instead of whistle, how far could that be heard? Tell me, old man.
Sadly, no old man could be found, so I had to deal with these doubts myself. I raised both of my hands.
“Breasts!” In the center of the peaceful residential district, I screamed these words at the top of my lungs.
Love and beauty, dream and emotion, hope and blessing, that is the gospel. Breasts. Is there no greater word that incorporates all these ideals? No, there is not. ‘Breasts’ is the word Yokodera-kun loves the most. 90% of his brain revolves around this word. Breasts. I could discuss their beauty forever. I need to talk more about it. Breasts!
An Onee-san had been walking past me nearby, and she come to a sudden halt from shock.
“………”
She slowly turned around and looked at me with her almond eyes. She had a wonderful style and body, but her clothes were a bit lacking in impact. She gave me a baffled look, and I returned a nod. I opened both my arms in a grand gesture and screamed one more time.
“Breasts!”
My unwavering voice could have even reached Heidi-san up in the Alps. That’s how loud I screamed. Now what happened next? Simple, the woman treated me very kindly. The Onee-san slowly approached me with a troubled expression and gently rubbed my head like I was a poor puppy. She must have heard some intimacy in my words.
In reality, she wasn’t wrong. I have always wanted to be intimate with breasts. This is a blessing to all breasts out there. I heard laughter around me. They belonged to my allies. After watching me with anxiety, they let out relieved smiles. Even the Onee-san narrowed her eyes and gave me a wry smile. What a charming way to smile.
Eventually, the entire residential district was filled with smiles everywhere, and of course I did the same. One laugh instigated another, and rows of smiles filled my view. It’s a happy winter ending. The world is one, we are one, and there is only one word.
“Breasts.”
“Breasts?”
“Breasts!”
Someone started chanting. Chanting like they were trying to unite all the people who had lost each other during the incident of Babel. Standing in the center of this circle of my allies, I screamed again. The gentle sunlight shining down from the heavens warmed up my body, showing me that I was indeed blessed.
The world was at peace, comfortably so. If you were to look up a picture of happiness, then it would be a picture of this very moment. I was enjoying happiness many people in this world would never be able to taste.
The sunlight shone down gently on this peaceful afternoon. And I was a first-year in grade school. Not even six or seven years had passed since I was born. It was the perfect age to enjoy and savor this world fully. My sparkling new life was filled with endless joy. So much… so many breasts… Yeah, what am I even talking about?
No, I can say whatever I want, because everything will be forgiven. If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands. Clap these two hands that don’t have to hold anything. Now that I was a first-year grade school student, I could clap my hands together, grinning widely.
*
‘Life.’
Whenever I wrote this word down, a formless feeling of anxiety crawled down my back. Life. What even is that, exactly? Ever since our dear ancestors ate the forbidden fruit and were exiled from paradise, humans as a whole have thought about it for centuries. It follows every single person on this earth, causing a beginning and an end at any given time. It is both equal and at the same time causes great inequality, and it is logical and yet not logical at all. The one thing I remember the most is the light novel ‘Life’ from this Gagawhatever Publishing company.
So far, a lot of people have told me about life.
‘Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself’, said the ironical Bernard Shaw, whereas physicist Einstein phrased it like a true self-sacrificing hero would, by saying ‘Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile’. At the same time, the melancholic Dazai Osamu questioned his existence, saying ‘What do I have to live for?’
However, our favorite man Oscar Wilde stated that ‘Life is simple, and the simple thing is the right thing.’ Indeed, the world is simple. The only complex things are us humans. Life should be a simple comedy.
Before we go any further, there is something I need to tell everyone. These past few months, I have been wrapped up in all sorts of incidents thanks to the tsundere Cat God (or at least I think it’s a tsundere). I had my facade stolen, I lost my shame, I was wrapped up in a typhoon, I won a free trip to Italy the roundabout way, I was thrown into the past, I saw my outer appearance through someone else’s eyes, I met my own shadow, I repeated the same world over and over—all of these things made me feel like I was in some kind of supernatural and irrational science-fiction phenomenon.
Do you remember all of these things that happened? I don’t really remember too much. I can’t help it if I don’t remember, right? Either way, I can say for sure that I’ve been fighting continuously, and I was pursued by a threatening decision. It felt like all communication had been cut off mercilessly and aggressively, and I was wandering down a dark path as I thought about the reason for my own life. Every time I made a choice, there was a path that made me taste the feeling of casting something else aside.
However, a youth filled with anguish is not life. Let me announce it one more time.
Life is a comedy!
I prefer stories where you show your underwear and see it, or stories of taking off the bra and having it taken off. I don’t always want to strip. Sometimes I want to be stripped. What law dictates that a boy can’t wear a bra? If I’m interested in sharing the same underwear as all the girls I love so much, then why can’t I just do it? I should be lauded for this choice, as this creates a new national system of equality.
Raise a different opinion towards female supremacists, fight the dogs with their political power and influence, and finally come to a mutual understanding as the setting sun illuminates the hill—All youth stories should be like this. And now that I had realized this, there was no turning back.
All of today, I will live an enjoyable comedy life. Naturally, I don’t mean a superficial comedy. Without any hills, there can be no valley; without any falls, you can’t climb anything; and with no meaning, there can be reason. It has to be an overwhelming comedy, where everything is fun and filled with joy. I will live my life in pleasure and enjoyment.
This Yokodera-kun can do it. This very Yokodera-kun right now has the ability to do it—After all, I am a grade school boy. Not only am I that… but I also possess knowledge and experience unbefitting of one. In other words, I am a balance breaker, possessing endless possibilities and the ability to create a future filled with hope.
I will throw away all my troubles, all the hardships I had to go through until now, hide myself inside a box, and move my own body freely, without needing to hold anything in my arms, my legs not restricted by anything. This time, I’ll redo everything. I will fully enjoy this thing called life.
By using the invincible barrier called ‘young age,’ I will use this cheat to enjoy my reborn life and start my new game plus! Ahh, how wonderful. A comedy truly is magnificent! It’s warm and snuggly, everyone is grinning, it’s a new chapter in life, glitter glitter, sparkle sparkle, as I run towards the sun in joy! Yay!
………
It’s not really ‘yay,’ huh? Nope. I guess I said too much. Well, you know… I was just feeling a bit motivated, okay? I wasn’t taking any drugs, even though it might seem that way. Nor have I taken any over-the-counter stuff, either. I’m not on my way back from the Netherlands, either. No, police officer, you don’t need to perform an alcohol test. I’m not suffering from bipolar disorder, either! Stop it already! I’m saying precisely what I mean!
Not to mention that the little Mr. Editor inside of me is acting all concerned for me, saying ‘Is everything okay? Have you gone through something rough as of late?’, so I guess I’ll have to calm down a bit. At this rate, everything will go south again, and I’ll see the darkness of the world once more.
So let’s think of a proper procedure. Life might be a comedy, but can I really create a mental state befitting of that? Let me compile the facts that led up to these circumstances.
The turning point was the obvious danger of Steel-san’s condition, which became apparent on the first day of exams at the National University. We had to relive that week revolving around that day countless times. The fact that Azuki Azusa and Emi helped us greatly is something I found out only after reading the notebooks, but… according to Tsukiko-chan and her Demon Lord’s manual, we rolled the dice of fate around 100 times.
After digging herself into a hole, the Cat-God-esque lady (in my fantasies) suffered many times by my hand, or specifically by my kisses, and she finally listened to our final wish. Defying all logic, laughing at physics, we went way back to the beginning of everything, thanks to the Cat Girl (I’ll just treat the Cat God like a girl now).
The story began anew when I woke up inside the Tsutsukakushi Household.
CClaw Translations 