Hentai Ouji to Warawanai Neko. Volume 3 Chapter 2

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Sickness Unto Death

Let me confess. I’ve feigned being sick several times in order to skip classes. For example, during my first summer when the wind rustled, I lent my shoulder to a young woman who was dozing off inside the train. There was another time when the late winter wind blew strong, and I was crawling along beneath the stairs of the pedestrian bridge, looking up at women going up the stairs. I was forced to skip classes because of these harsh times.

I don’t feel any shame for having picked these choices. I don’t understand the concept of shame anymore, anyway. But today I can’t help but find my past actions strange. Why would I ever skip school? There’s no greater paradise than school itself.

“—Swimsuits are the best! Girls adjusting their swimsuits is the most beautiful sight ever!”

From the balcony of the second floor inside the second building, I leaned against the railing and shouted into the air. And what a satisfying shout it was. Countless girls down in the courtyard looked up at me, snickering or even waving back.

“Prince-kun! You’re as energetic as always!”

“Hey Prince!”

“You look like you’re having fun!”

“I suppose so! Watching you girls gives me a lot of energy in a lot of places!”

“Aww, are you saying that again, Prince-kun?”

“Lewd Prince!”

“If you don’t fix that, we won’t play with you anymore!”

“You were all so charming that I couldn’t help myself! Sorry…!”

“I guess it can’t be helped, then~”

“The Prince is super cute!”

“I’ll text you soon!”

The girls were laughing at each other as they looked at me. Beautiful girls were all over the place. And all of them were wearing school swimsuits. I forgot to mention it earlier, but our school uniform is actually a swimsuit. Once you arrive at school, you have to change into a swimsuit. After I snuck through the back gate, I had to stay in my normal uniform. If they weren’t referring to Yokodera-kun as ‘Ouji’, I would have probably been labeled as a weirdo. It’s a pretty reasonable name if you read my family name differently¹, but apparently the girls took a liking to it. Thanks to that, my school life is pure happiness. No matter what I shout from school balconies, they didn’t call me a pervert like back then.

…Hm? Weird. When exactly is ‘back then’? There’s no way they would call me a pervert. If I had ever been given such a nickname, I doubt I could have handled it. I am a Prince. Yokodera Ouji. Beloved by both girls and the public at large.

“…Youto-onii-chan, is school fun?”

Emi laid sprawled out by my legs, and she pointed at the stained glass on the door of the balcony. It was a motif of the annunciation of the Holy Mother Maria; a very religious art piece. I just can’t help but feel that school today is different from usual, though. There’s the girls wearing swimsuits everywhere, for one, as well as crosses on basically everything nearby. On top of that, the school buildings are all made out of red bricks, which really makes it feel like we’re in Italy. There’s only one thing that all this could mean.

“It’s super fun! I can’t wait for the sports festival!”

“That’s right, Youto-onii-chan! I’m glad. I’m really looking forward to that sports festival!” Emi smiled, satisfied at my response.

She rolled around on the balcony, flailing her arms and legs everywhere. She’s really cute. Outstandingly cute. More than anybody else. It’s on an entirely different level than the cuteness I feel from girl videos. It feels like my heart is jumping for joy.

Naturally, I’m not a lolicon or anything. This is a completely different thing. Lolicons wish for cute girls to never grow up, whereas I hope that they grow up while staying cute like this. I guess you could call this emotion ‘investment for the future.’

“Thanks for showing me around! I’m super duper satisfied!”

Emi eventually stopped rolling around like a cat in the sun and stood up.

“Ah, are you done already? There’s a lot of other places I can still show you.”

“Uuu… Actually, there’s a few more things. I wanted to know about your club activities so much that I was awake all night, unable to sleep, as I played with myself.”

“Okay, let’s not use words you’ve heard before without knowing what they mean! Things will end up troublesome eventually, mostly for me! If you want to know something, then just ask.”

“You have some business of your own right, Onii-chan? Emi is fine now, so there’s no need to mind her…”

“…Good girl, good girl.”

She looked up at me with an expectant, slightly interested gaze, and I couldn’t help but pat her on the head. That was dangerous. If I was a low-ball hitter, my bat would have come out by now.

“Well, it’s true that I have somewhere else to be… But, as a gift from me to you, why don’t I guide you to the music room?”

“I wanna see the music room with Onii-chan! More importantly, the pool! I wanna know how to become a Swimsuit Expert to prepare for the festival of sports!”

“I think you’re better off not doing that! That’s something I arrived at after peeking through the concrete wall next to the pool around 400 times during a single year, so it’s not that easy.”

“Nooo! I wanna know! I wanna be one!”

Emi jumped up and down several times like she was trying to stomp both feet. After that, she clung to my arm, turned around, and started tugging me.

“If you’re that adamant about it, then we can go to the sports grounds. Around this time of day, there should be an Onee-san with a long ponytail called ‘Steel-san’ who likes to show people around her club. Just tell her ‘I want the same course as Yokodera!’.”

“What will happen then?”

“Steel-san will be really happy. And then you can become a Swimsuit Expert as well! Maybe.”

“Yay! I’ll try my best!”

“What’s important is the intervals during which you take point. You should run at full speed at first. Once I finish my business, I’ll join up with you.”

…Still, why was I this attracted to the pool anyway? There’s girls walking around in swimsuits everywhere. I can look at them wherever I want. Absent-mindedly twirling my baseball cap around on a finger, I heard the heavy sound of a bell. It was the large bell to signal the arrival of noon. After the large one, smaller bells in the nearby towers started ringing as well.

Ding, dong, ding, dong…

It was an impressive sound. Closing my eyes, I felt something like the sea breeze from the Adriatic Sea back during the middle ages. Yes, focusing on my ears next—

Tch. What a useless pumpkin moron. I even made a wish for you, so prioritize me.

A clicking of a tongue lingered behind in my eardrums. Hm? When I looked around, all I could see was Emi, grinning up at me with narrowed eyes. Come on, wind, don’t play tricks on me. There’s no way she could speak with such a rough tone of voice. After all, she’s my 100%-perfect-smile girl.

*

The cafeteria, located inside the 8th building, provides a terrace with table seats, which always causes a harsh battle between students for this special place, especially on sunny days like these. Even though Saturday is technically a school-free day, finding open seats was still quite a struggle.

—Unless you make a small exception, that is.

I carried a tray with tomato, cheese, ham pizza, and a bottle of cola as I made my way towards a seat in the corner of the courtyard.

“Can I sit here?”

“……Go ahead.” A blunt response.

The person who got here before me started to eat away at a plate that had two people’s worth of food on it, munching away at it. Today’s victim was a bacon and spinach carbonara. They wrapped it around a fork and a spoon, and it disappeared at the speed of light. I totally understood why this seat was open on the otherwise-packed terrace. With how much this small girl was eating, I’d be afraid to find out if she’d stop with just those two plates, or if she’d continue by eating me next.

This is the first rule of what you should do when you want to get in contact with Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko: Wait for lunch time. She always appears when the scent of food lingers in the air.

“You didn’t bring a boxed lunch with you today, huh? I looked for you in the courtyard and on the rooftop, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“I finished the lunch I brought with me a minute ago.”

“Hm? Then what is that?”

“Lunch.”

“…And what about your boxed lunch?”

“That was for my sports festival practice. I finished that before actual lunchtime.”

“I see. You must have it rough.”

According to the Tsukiko-chan countryside dialect, snacking and lunch are strictly separated. For example, no matter how much she consumed merely a minute earlier, once the clock goes past 12, she can eat it all over again. There will be a test on this, so for those of you who want to talk with girls from the countryside, make sure to remember this.

“…Do you want to eat this as well?”

I split the pizza in half and pushed a small plate towards her. In response, Tsutsukakushi finally raised her head.

“Did you already finish showing Emanuella-san around?”

“I left her with Steel-san. Tsutsu… Tsukiko, I wanted to eat lunch with you.”

“…Is that so? Would you like a taste of this pasta?”

“Thanks!”

This is the second rule if you want to get in contact with Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko. Once she has food, get to the main topic quickly. For her, giving away some of her own food is a great gesture of affection. The aforementioned exchange is only attainable once you reach the third rank of being a Tsukiko-chan connoisseur.

I gratefully accepted the plate with the carbonara and spoke up at the same time.

“Also, thanks for before.”

“Thanks for what?”

“When you went ahead to school. You were being considerate, right?”

“No, I did that for my own sake,” Tsutsukakushi shook her head, moving her small mouth as she started munching away at the pizza.

I’ve gotten good at guessing what this small kitten was feeling, even without the use of her expressions. But right now I’m having trouble doing so. Though I don’t think she’s actually angry at me. She doesn’t seem to be sulking, either. The trick to reading the reserved feelings hidden behind her blue eyes—is to ask her straightforwardly.

“Your ‘own sake’… That you didn’t want to stay around Emi any longer? Just kidding.”

“…”

“Do you not like Emi by any chance?”

“………” Tsutsukakushi’s shoulders twitched.

“Hmmm… I know that she can be a bit selfish, but I think she’s a pretty good girl overall.”

Once I bit into a piece of pizza, an abundant taste of cheese filled my mouth. Yup, this is really delicious. It’s like we’re eating famous food at an expensive and stylish cafe. The girls from the wind ensemble were practicing the sports festival’s entrance song. The music danced with perfect tempo in this direct sunlight. Surrounding the great water fountain were the personifications of the world’s great four rivers rising into the air. There were pigeons walking around everywhere, making noises like they were voicing their opinions.

“…Was our school food always this delicious?” Tsutsukakushi looked at the piece of pizza in her hand.

“Hm? Where did that come from?”

“No, I just thought… Right, we were talking about Emanuela-san.” She raised her index finger. “Let me give you an example. Imagine that you are playing tennis, Senpai.”

“Ohoho, what’s my playstyle? Doubles? Man-woman mixed doubles? Am I positioned at the line, able to watch the tennis skirt of the girl in front of me flapping up and down?!”

“I see you’re detail-oriented. Let’s say it’s mixed doubles.”

“…Eh, r-really?”

“One day, your partner says ‘I can’t say as a pair with you. I like a distant, yet close relationship more. Even if we play the same sport, rather than clinging to each other the entire time, meeting each other once in a while is more exciting’.”

“O-Okay…?”

“So you decide to disband the team. You stop being satisfied with this compromise, and instead work your hardest so that you can one day stand on the same court with your partner. How would you feel if that partner suddenly ran off to someone else, playing doubles with them instead? This person keeps calling your partner ‘Onii-chan.’ They smile at them, cling to them… How would you feel?”

“…Um, who are we talking about?”

“This is just an example. So how would you feel?”

“…That I got deceived, probably… I would wonder if my partner actually preferred the other person the entire time.”

“Yes. This is exactly how I feel about Emanuela-san.” Tsutsukakushi summed it up as indifferently as always.

For some reason, I saw the flames of hell burning behind her back. Even though it’s fall, it’s still pretty hot. I could feel sweat running down my back.

“Um… well, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? This is in no way, shape, or form related to you in any way, seeing that you don’t play tennis, Senpai.”

“R-Right!” I took a long sip from my coke. “B-But, in that case, the one at fault is the bastard who formed a new pair, and not the new partner, right? Can you really blame her?”

“No, I wasn’t talking about guilt or blame or the like. The one removed from the pair is the one at fault. All they can do is hone their talent and practice as if their life depends on it.” Tsutsukakushi pounded her fists together on the table.

Ohhh, she’s motivated, I see. I guess I’ll play tennis with her whenever we get the chance.

“But—”

The music filling the courtyard came to a stop. In this sudden silence around us, she just stared at the empty plate in front of her, thinking of what to say. In the end, she still didn’t look at me.

“—she gives off the scent of an unfair, wicked woman who breaks the rules whenever she wants. I get a really bad feeling from her.”

Tsutsukakushi’s voice was quiet but determined.

“The scent of a wicked woman?”

This is the first time I’ve heard Tsutsukakushi speak ill of someone else. Not to mention that her argument was based on smell. I can’t help but worry if she’s actually a real human. I started laughing, but Tsutsukakushi didn’t seem to like that much, and she started hitting the table. She kept sulking until I offered her the other half of my pizza.

“You don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to. It is not my place to decide who you spend your time with. If anything, you can use all of your money for a woman at a hostess bar and live in a cardboard box underneath a bridge for the rest of your life for all I care.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I won’t laugh again. I don’t really get it, but you seem serious. However, there’s no need to worry! She’s not in my strike zone either.”

“That is right. Falling in love with a small girl like that would definitely be no good.”

“Yup, yup. There’s no way would I ever be attracted to a tiny girl like that.”

“…Um, I am actually talking about her age.”

“Yeah, but that’s mostly the same thing! It has to be a girl who’s large in all sorts of places! I’m glad we agree on that!”

I’ve stressed this countless times thus far, but I like girls who are the Onee-san type. Her breasts should shake across the room if I slap her like a sumo wrestler would. Dosukoi, dosukoi! That reminds me, Tsutsukakushi likes sumo wrestlers as well. When I remembered this, I started grinning.

“Ouch!”

“……”

“Um, Tsutsukakushi-san? This part you keep persistently grinding at with your toes is actually a vital part of my body.”

“I know that.”

“I see. So you knew.”

When I tried reenacting the gesture Tsutsukakushi had shown me a while ago, all hell broke loose beneath the table. Using a technique that not even a sumo referee would be able to see, huh? Just what you’d expect from a future champion.

“I was wrong for even worrying about you in the slightest. As expected of the Per—” Tsutsukakushi blinked in confusion. “As expected of the Prince-san… Prince… san. Yes, Senpai is a prince…” After saying her usual catchphrase, Tsutsukakushi tilted her head, almost as if she was confused.

Almost like a kitten with her favorite sleeping space right in front of her, but who happened to find an unfamiliar blanket. Eventually, though, she gave in and accepted the new blanket.

“Um, Senpai. Watching you smile has made me realize something. Whenever you laugh with all your might, you can’t put any strength into your body.”

“Meaning?”

“If you take this as a general rule, no matter how charming of a smile a person can make, if you can form a fist with your hand while you do so, you’re only laughing with a facade.”

“Back to the honest feelings and facade, huh? Interesting. But as a general rule, whenever I see a cute girl smile, I can only look at her face, you know.”

“…Is that so?” Tsutsukakushi muttered, slapping her cheeks with the palm of her hands.

At the same time, the bell in the clock tower rang two times. I had just started to feel full, so this was perfect timing.

“Say, Tsutsukakushi, you must be full now, right? I think it’s about time to go pick up Emi from Steel-san, so why don’t you come with me? You don’t know her too well yet, right?”

“That is correct. Modern wars always start with intelligence gathering.”

“…Um, are we still talking about tennis?”

Tsutsukakushi ignored my question and just stood up while avoiding eye contact. She slowly opened up the buttons of her shirt as if she was preparing for war, although I think it was just because of the heat. Carrying it under her arm, she said ‘Let’s go’. For no particular reason, I wanted to hit my head on the table. Because she, just like every other student besides me, was wearing a school swimsuit.

*

30 times. That is the number of times I hit my head on the wall of the school building as I walked along the outer circumference.

“Senpai, you’re lacking some vital attentiveness. You have to look in front of you when you walk.”

“Well, ahahaha, the world just seemed so dazzling…”

Especially Tsutsukakushi showing that much naked skin. It’s too dazzling, making me too happy to care about anything else. A girl walking around outside while wearing a swimsuit. How do I put it? I can’t put into words how much I appreciate it. For example, it can be compared to a female childhood friend getting married to a nudist and sending me a video letter. Do you understand? Well, I myself don’t really get it, so I doubt you do.

“…Senpai is a bit weird today.”

Tsutsukakushi fixed the swimsuit around her buttocks with her fingers, and she looked up at me. “Why are you looking at me like a per… prince? Is there something on my face?”

“No, nothing at all. It’s all perfectly fine! Perfectly normal.”

Everything’s normal, and yet I can’t tear my eyes away from her. She might look like a perfectly-level plain, but she actually has a small yet well-defined hiking course.

“…What a weird Prince.” She whispered as she fidgeted uncomfortably.

There’s nothing to be embarrassed about! This is our normal school uniform, after all! Or so goes the famous scientific theory. It really can’t be helped if it’s our school uniform.

When we turned the corner at the fifth building and arrived at the sports grounds, another paradise opened up before my eyes.

“Oh lord…”

To keep it short, Steel-san was doing stretches in a swimsuit.

On our school’s sports grounds were ruins of an ancient sacred palace and dome, as well as triumphal arches. If you ask me why, then I can only say ‘because.’ Steel-san was lying sprawled inside the ruins of a theatre, stretching her legs. How do I put it… it looked amazing. If her little sister had a small hiking trail, her older sister was equipped with giant mountains. The steep mountain district was constantly moving like a volcano. If she moved just a small bit, the two navy blue Mt. Everests wouldn’t allow anyone to challenge them.

“These are crazier than I thought they would be…”

“…Prince-san. Hey, Prince-san.”

The beginner hiking course girl was pinching me ever so slightly… No, actually quite a bit… Nay, very intensely on my sides, but just like George Mallory said: ‘Because (the mountain) is there, I climb it.’ And the same holds true for me. I look at the mountain because it is there. There is nothing I should feel ashamed about by doing this.

“Oooh, Yokodera. I just finished my practice. The young aspiring club member you sent us is over there, though I don’t know if she can follow in your footsteps.”

When Steel-san noticed that I was there, she stopped stretching. Her transparent, sky-blue eyes were smiling at me. Her ponytail shook majestically like a lion’s mane as she ran to the ball net separating the sports grounds and the main street. She really was the proud ruler of the track-and-field club.

…A lot of things are going on with her, and a lot of things happened to her, but at school she’s the ideal club president, and her confident, commanding attitude shows it. And she’s a beauty on top of it all. She’s soft as well. Though, I would like to exercise my right to remain silent when it comes to any more personal comments.

“She asked for the same menu as Yokodera. She’s quite the ambitious little girl. She was willing to shove her head into the bottomless pit, so I didn’t hold back, either.”

She must have been in a cooldown period, and I could see pearls of sweat all over her body. She probably worked out by taking her usual long-distance run and dash.

“Thank you very much. It was Emi’s own desire to… Hm? Where is Emi now?”

“Youto… onii-chan…”

I heard a faint voice, and after looking around for a moment, on the brown, dirty ground at my feet, I saw twintails that looked like ragged dishrags.

“Woah?! Are you okay?!”

She was lying there with no signs of being alive anymore. Her hair was a ruffled mess, her clothes were dirty, and her stomach was convulsing like she had been assaulted. All light had vanished from her eyes, and groans were all that left her mouth. She tightly held onto my arms as I held her up a bit, as if she had just returned from a brief visit to hell.

“W-Wake up! What about swimsuits? Did you get closer to the secret of swimsuits?”

“No, I only reached a small fraction of the secret teachings…” Emi laughed.

As usual, she made a 100% smile. According to Tsutsukakushi, in order to find out her honest feelings, I just had to look at her hands, but of course, Emi’s hands—were stiff. She then quickly got up on my shoulders… Wait, what?

“I’m sharing this knowledge now!”

From my left and right, hammer punches came running down on my head.

—I can’t believe you actually deceived me like that! Tell me beforehand if that pumpkin head is going to push me through hell and back!

Another half-crying auditory hallucination arrived at my ears. Since this voice was using words the 100% perfect smile girl would never say in a million years, I could only beg that this hallucination would stop bothering me.

“I’m glad you were enjoying yourself. Let’s practice together another time.”

“Yay! I’m looking forward to it!”

—Who would do that! You… You… ultra garbage pumpkin!

Lifting her up while still being hit, both her and Ilaughed together. Don’t we look like siblings now? The moment I said that, the hammer punches turned into corkscrew punches instead. Maybe she’s happy.

“Tsukiko. When I see this, I can’t help but remember the past. Why don’t we do that as well, for old time’s sake?”

“I would rather not.”

“There, there, Tsuiko. How admirable! See how high up you are!”

“If you don’t put me down right away, dinner tonight will be cold canned beans. I won’t say it again. Put me down right now.”

A bit further away, the Tsutsukakushi sisters were also fooling around. What a happy little circle this is.

I forgot to say something. At times like these, the true problem always reveals itself. Emi continued to struggle on my shoulder, but her gaze suddenly turned sharp, glued to something.

“…What is that?”

Emi wasn’t looking at the Tsutsukakushi sisters. Nor was she looking at the club members around on the sports grounds. Instead, she was focused over on one corner of the tree promenade located by the main street. The person herself probably thought she was hidden in the shadows of the platanus tree, but in reality, her butt and hair were sticking out in plain view.

“Ahh, that’s a friend. Her name’s Azuki Azusa…”

It was the girl who continued to give me a headache.

*

I guess it’s time to actually explain the problem going on with Azuki Azusa. That being said, it’s actually not as big of a deal as it may seem. Putting it in simple terms, I can’t seem to get in contact with her at all as of late. I know the reason for it, too. It’s because of what happened at the government office. Ever since she saw the result of Steel-san and I reaching a tragic mutual misunderstanding, the scene suddenly changed into a comedy, and Azuki Azusa had not gotten into contact with me once.

She used to call me three times a day, but that number has gone down to zero. I would get up to ten emails a day, and that number has also fallen to zero as well. Whenever I try to contact her, she doesn’t respond at all. It’s the same at school. No matter where I go, no matter where I wait, she runs away at lighting speed. She’s denying any communication with me, to such an extent that she could beat a track-and-field member. At first, I thought I had made her angry.

‘I didn’t think you were the type of person to do this in front of others!’ I heard the manifestation of everyone saying to me. Now this is indeed a problem. But this is where things get even more complicated. Azuki Azusa wouldn’t simply run away whenever I came near. Whenever Steel-san and I were together for whatever reason, she would appear out of somewhere. She would hide in the shadows, watching us from a distance like a cowardly but well-behaved stray dog.

This wasn’t simply a metaphor, either. It really felt like she was barking at me from a distance. So much so that I hallucinated her having a wagging tail, desperately shaking it left and right. Really, what does Azuki Azusa want? ‘What are you doing? I like you, so please pay attention to me you thick bastard, but actually hit your head on tofu and die.’ It felt like an odd mixture of emotions. But the same as usual, in a certain sense.

Things are different now, though. What if, however small the odds, she has feelings for Yokodera-kun or Steel-san? She would have been hurt after seeing that decisive scene. If you set aside who was more her type, and myself being worried about who was more her type… Well, let’s just leave this as a hypothetical story. I don’t want to hurt one of the few friends that I have. That’s why I wanted to explain the truth to Azuki Azusa. I wanted to spell out all the circumstances and gave her only the truth. That this wasn’t my real intention. That it was all just Steel-san’s misunderstanding. That I still want to be as close of friends as we were before.

I figured that my feelings wouldn’t go through in an actual email, so I wrote her a letter. I wrote with handwriting as neat and clean as I could, and I rewrote it countless times until it turned dark outside. I put a shiba inu stamp on it and put it in her shoe locker.

I’m pretty sure that Azuki Azusa must have read it. She isn’t the type of person to throw a letter away without giving it a read first. But there was no change in her behavior afterwards.

Whenever I would approach her, she would immediately run away. When I decide to give up on her, she approaches me. Even though she should know the truth, she keeps a neutral position, watching from afar. What reason does she have to keep doing that? Think about this like a gal game. Just when you have the girl in your sights, she doesn’t make any contact with the protagonist at all? That kind of scenario writing would get thrown into the trash bin, and she would lose her place to a new, mysterious girl. Naturally, we’re just talking about typical video games here.

However, these current circumstances are reality, so a change in scenario won’t happen. I have to talk things out with Azuki Azusa. I actually want to talk to her as well. But I can’t. It tears me apart.

And this is the Azuki Azusa Problem.

Let’s get back on topic.

While I watched Azuki Azusa, who was desperately trying to hide her head and butt but actually not hiding anything at all, I was at a loss about what to do. She was being her usual distanced self today, but there was something off about it.

“…Why is she here?”

Emi was normally naive and innocent, but she was making a strained expression. Her lips were trembling, her eyes were wide open, and all color had drained from her face, like she was trying to act out the word “terrified” in a game of charades.

“What’s wrong? Is something going on?”

“No… it’s nothing. Nothing at all.” She grinned like she had remembered something. “Emi is going home. See you again, Youto-onii-chan.”

Leaving only these words behind, without giving me any chance to stop her, Emi separated from me. She started running towards the dome, tripped, and made another somersault. Like a whirlwind, she passed the gate and vanished from the school grounds. The one-piece she was wearing soon left my view.

“What was that about?”

Maybe she had to go to the bathroom? I guess she was probably holding it in this entire time. If this were one of those special videos, then that’d be the case, anyway. As a side note, Emi had definitely made her way home that day. Because the day after, when I called and asked her about it…

‘Exactly! That’s Onii-chan for you! A super hyper pumpkin!’ She said in a happy voice, conforming my assumption that my eyes were still as sharp as ever.

Anyway, when you looked at her flashy escape, anybody would have been able to tell that it was all just random gibberish. The Tsutsukakushi sisters were both staring after her in confusion, whereas Azuki Azusa was still Azuki Azusa, now poking her head from beneath the shadows of the tree. Her eyes were blinking in a daze, just staring in the direction Emi had run off to. Now this is a good chance if I’ve ever seen one.

I tried to be as sneaky as possible. I slipped past the ball net and took the longer route to get to where she was. Jogging my down the main walkway, I slipped past the platanus trees at the promenade and approached her from behind.

“Yo, Azuki Azusa! Let’s play a game of Red Light Green Light!”

“—?!”

I grabbed her shoulders with as much force as I could. Her wavy hair stood out in all directions, and her imaginary tail froze stiff. Azuki Azusa jolted up into the air, aggressively flailing her arms and legs around mid-air, and tried to run away the second she landed. But I wouldn’t allow that to happen!

“Wait a second, Azuki Azusa! Please hear me out!”

“No! Stop! Let me go! I’ll get angry if you’re rough with me!”

I held both of Azuki Azusa’s hands, forcing both of her legs to the ground, but by the time I restrained her limbs and gave it some proper thought, neither of us had any legs left to support our weight, so we fell down to the ground. Our arms and legs became tangled in an awkward fashion, and I didn’t even know where I was grabbing her anymore. There was only one thing I knew for certain.

I still want to be friends with her! I want to talk things out until the very end! Oh right, there were actually two things.

“My chance has finally arrived. I won’t let you escape today!”

“W-What are you on about?! W-W-W-W-What are you going to do?”

“I want to go to the very end with you, Azuki Azusa! I can’t hold back anymore! Accept all of my passion!”

“Noooooooo! Pervert! Beast! Wolf in a full moon! Mama, Mamaaaaaa!”

As a result of my sincere confession, Azuki Azusa started protesting even more fiercely, this time stooping to insulting me. This forced me to pin her down even further, finally allowing me a breather.

“Alright… listen carefully, Azuki Azusa.”

When I looked down at her again, I saw the results of our wrestling match. Dear Azuki Azusa-san’s collar was crooked, a button from her blouse was gone, and the hem of her skirt almost revealed what was beneath it. My, my. What might have happened to our fair lady?

“Uuuuu…! Who would listen to you like this…?!”

I know I’m repeating myself, but Azuki Azusa was quite the beauty. Setting my own personal preferences aside, she was without a doubt one of the prettiest girls in her year. If Tsutsukakushi possessed the ability to draw you in with her eyes, then Azuki Azusa had sparkling gemstones—Wait, I think I’ve said that before. Anyway, this very girl was now lying in the shadows of a great tree, with an appearance you wouldn’t ever expect her to have, sniffing and crying. On top of that, she was being held down by a guy from the same year. Now what would any onlookers think if they saw this?

“Wahaha! You’re as energetic as always, Prince. I’m jealous.”

“Prince-kun is such a troublemaker. Make sure to take her home once school closes down, okay?”

The math teacher, also known as the moustache Daruma, and the teacher responsible for the student year, Glasses-sensei, gave laughing responses as they passed by us on the main street. Essentially, they ignored us. And that makes sense. I’m a prince. Yokodera Ouji. Beloved by all teachers.

“…Prince-san. Pri… nce… san… Prince-san.”

“Hm?”

Someone was poking my back.

“What happened between you and Azuki-san, Prince-san? Doing something like this out of the blue isn’t good. I have to voice my discomfort.” An expressionless girl was right next to me.

And then, although she seemed like she was still trying to say something but hesitating, she pushed my body with both her arms, freeing Azuki Azusa from our adhesive situation. You could also say that she was tearing me off of something entirely different.

*

At the foot of the 7th building’s clock tower, close to the main thoroughfare, stood an old wooden bench. Using this bench, we formed a square. In simpler terms—

“Uuuu… Uuuuu…!”

We made Azuki Azusa sit down on the bench, and she growled in discomfort.

“I see. She’s saying that just being dragged off somewhere by you when she can’t even properly mentally prepare herself isn’t good. No more of that from now on.”

Tsutsukakushi was trying to soothe her as she translated for me.

“I understand. Yokodera is a sincere guy, after all. If he’s too close to you, his sincerity might be too heavy for you to carry. If there’s something to blame for it, it’s your nature, favored by the gods themselves…”

Steel-san nodded to herself, interpreting things in her own way.

“I just wanted to talk to you, sorry. I’m glad you’re still at school. Are you practicing for the sports festival?”

I replied, and Tsutukakushi relayed the words back to Azuki Azusa… It might sound weird coming from me, but this game of telephone has too many personal feelings involved. Telephones are supposed to just be about transmission of data. But the instant I would try to approach the bench and have a direct conversation with Azuki Azusa, she would show signs of running away. Before I realized it, we ended up repelling each other like the same poles of a magnet. Who should I ask to help fix this problem?

“…Wait, that reminds me. Why aren’t you wearing the school’s uniform, Azuki Azusa?”

I tried to find a way to get some sort of conversation going, which was why I asked this. Ever since the unfortunate incident a few moments ago, Azuki Azusa had been cowering, protecting her body. Just like me, she was wearing the clothes that we use for when we’re coming or making our way home from school. Did she forget her swimsuit today? What a shame. That’s the only feeling I felt about that, honestly.

But instead, Azuki Azusa hugged her shoulders.

“…I’m not wearing a swimsuit,” She said with a forceful tone of voice.

“Why not?”

“Because weird things will be done to me.”

“By who?”

“A pervert.”

“What pervert?”

“You.”

Just when we finally started having a somewhat decent conversation, she suddenly pointed at me and said such things. A pervert? Who? Me?

“Haha, that joke hurt a bit. There’s no way I would do something like that. Just ask everyone else.”

“Lies.” Azuki Azusa responded with a firm voice.

The light shining from her emerald eyes pierced me like a curtain pierced by sunlight.

“You’re the type of pervert who’d come up with your own swimsuit design. You’re the type of pervert who’s fine as long as someone is wearing a swimsuit. Whenever you see swimsuits, you go crazy, you pervert. And you still didn’t even come to Okinawa, you pervert! Calling you as a pervert is just as easy as calling black and white spots on a panda’s fur!”

“W-What are you talking about…?”

All of these accusations hit me hard enough to make me stagger. Just what made her feel this way?!

“Pervert… Prince… Pervert-san… Prince-san… Pervert-san… A true pervert, yes.”

The one who I had assumed to be my ally, Tsutsukakushi, suddenly started agreeing with her. Like a kitten who had finally found a hidden blanket, she clung to this special word and turned around towards me. Finally, Tsutsukakushi and Azuki Azusa spoke up at the same time.

“Pervert! Yokodera is a pervert! A pervert through and through!”

“He truly was a pervert. Of course he is. He is a pervert indeed.”

“That’s right! He’s a pervert! Perverted baboon, perverted orangutan, perverted wolf!”

It was a festival filled with only shouts of the word ‘pervert’. The heck is this? What did I do to deserve this? I’m a prince. Yokodera Ouji—

“Senpai is a pervert, after all.” Tsutsukakushi muttered, almost as if she was trying to time it to completely throw me off balance.

With a calm, flat voice, overflowing with cuteness, she gave me the last piece to the puzzle with a familiar voice and tone. I felt shivers of satisfaction running all over my body. Even I had been wondering what was wrong with me, thinking ‘Ah, even our dear Yokodera-kun can fall from grace’. Senpai is a pervert after all. Senpai is a pervert after all. Senpai is a pervert after all. These magic words sunk deep into my body, clearing up this fog inside of me. I felt like an idiot to still be wearing a baseball cap, so I quickly took it off without anybody noticing.

I am Yokodera, the Perverted Prince. No girl would ever treat me nicely. Tons of memories that involved me being a pervert came rushing back into my mind like the plague. Yo man, it’s been a while. Have you had a good dream? Well that’s over now. Take this punch to the gut instead.

“…Hey, are you okay? You look like followers of a new cult that’s worshiping some weird idiom.” Steel-san, who had kept quiet until now, was whispering into my ear with a super serious expression.

Her worried expression gave me a feeling of relief. She was the only one who had never treated Yokodera-kun like a pervert. My heart skipped a beat. If I didn’t know that she already had a person she loved, I might just have just fallen for her on the spot. Anyway, as for the founder of the religious church of Pervert, Azuki Azusa was still busy with her enlightenment activities. What a passionate girl. She sat on the bench, poking at Tsutsukakushi’s side. Sighing, the swimsuit-wearing expressionless girl looked up at her.

“…Hey, why are you wearing a swimsuit? We’re at school, you know.” Azuki Azusa asked.

“I mean, I’m wearing it because we’re at school.”

“That’s not what I meant. This is a school. That is a swimsuit. This is a uniform. Do you get it?”

After Azuki Azusa told her that, Tsutsukakushi took a closer look at the girl, and at the skirt and blouse the girl was wearing. She then gazed down at the swimsuit she was wearing. With an indifferent expression, she pulled at the thin fabric around her chest, and returned it back to normal. She pulled on it again, only for some reason to look at me immediately after. Now that Azuki Azusa had brought it up, the binding spell from the wish had vanished. I decided to at least try to cheer her up in some way or another.

“I-I think it looks good on you. Swimsuits really make the girl. You looked especially adorable when you walked down the street like that.”

“………”

“That reminds me, this was the first time I could actually feast my eyes upon your glorious body while you were wearing a swimsuit, Tsutsukakushi. I didn’t think it would look this good. Ha ha ha.”

“………”

Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko could make no expression whatsoever, no matter the situation. She had a flawless blank expression. However, for this one moment, I felt like I saw her grow pale. Slowly, very slowly, almost in slow motion, she collapsed to the ground.

“My perfect swimsuit plan… not here…”

Tsutsukakushi was lying on her side and quivering. She looked like a boxer who had been on his way to fight for the title of being the best in the world, only to be beaten up by some delinquent on the street. Her body turned snow white as all blood left her face. But why, though? Also, and this isn’t related at all, but secret plans? These two sisters sure are alike.

Right when I decided that I should probably help her get up, Azuki Azusa cut between us. Threatening me with a harsh glare, she took Tsutsukakushi and helped her inside the school building. Is there such a thing as a magnet shop that can help fix the distance between two magnets of the same polarity? The problem between Azuki Azusa and I is still there.

Tsutsukakushi finished changing twenty minutes later. In that time, Steel-san and her two navy-blue Mt. Everests held a conversation with me.

“I personally think that a swimsuit feels more cool and refreshing whenever you want to work out. Why don’t we make this the running fashion of the 21st century? What do you think, Yokodera?”

“It’s the best idea! I’ll follow you forever!”

“Right? From now on, I’ll start wearing this most of the time.”

Or so she said, but when she went back home, her little sister persuaded her otherwise. Also, Azuki Azusa never came back.

“I don’t want to talk to a pervert. Don’t bother me,” was the message Tsutsukakushi relayed to me in her stead.

“Or so she says, but when I ‘don’t bother her,’ she’s just going to watch me from afar again…”

In frustration, I kicked an empty bench, but it was more solid than I thought. I really don’t understand girls. Why do they wear super short skirts, but then cover them up with their bookbag when they walk up the stairs?

“Are you two fighting? Fighting is no good. No good at all.” Tsutsukakushi looked at me in a troubled fashion, even though she didn’t know what was going on. “I want Senpai and Azuki-san to be as close as before… But being too close is a bit—” Tsutsukakushi was stopped mid-sentence by the ringing bells of the clock tower, and she didn’t finish her sentence.

We were right below the 7th building’s clock tower, so the sound was almost deafening. While Tsutsukakushi was covering her ears, we quickly made our way back to the main street. Almost like we were a dog and a cat running away from an enemy with our tails between our legs. Then again, that part can’t be helped.

“…It’s butting in even now?”

Right when we got onto the main street, I glared up at the top of the clock tower. It was a stylish building, seven stories tall. There was a small roof above the mechanical clock for the belltower, and above that sat an ominous-looking cat statue. It was the statue of a beckoning cat that I had seen so many times I was sick of it. The Stony Cat was lording over the school as it stood in the center of it all. Yeah. We get it. You’re trying to do us a favor, are you? Just go home already, you darned cat god. Azuki Azusa not only helped us realize that I was a pervert; she also made us notice the swimsuits and the cat god ruling over the school. Not to mention she helped us realize the entire school had transformed. Our school is an average school you can find anywhere. But now we have bells ringing, a church, Confucian temple, and even ruins. It bore no relation to a cat statue. Until today, that is.

After Azuki Azusa told Tsutsukakushi this, and Tsutsukakushi in turn told me, I could only laugh. I should have had some sense of discomfort because of surroundings like these, but I hadn’t even noticed it. If she hadn’t told us, I would have continued thinking this was normal for all eternity. Even if I had turned into a girl from one day to the next, I might have just lived my life without realizing it. That’s actually pretty amazing. It gets my blood boiling. Can we go with that for the next scenario, please?

—Anyway. This compass in my head, which had been going crazy this far, was now pointing in the right direction.

“It seems like someone else made another wish to it.” As if she was reading my thoughts, Tsutsukakushi reached the same conclusion as I did.

First: Have a baseball hat come to Yokodera-kun, and make him be treated like a prince².

Second: Have school swimsuits appear, and make them the standard uniform for all students.

Third: Fill the school with an Italian atmosphere, and change its entire appearance.

This sensation plaguing me was all too familiar. It definitely resembled what had happened a while back at the Tsutsukakushi Household. It’s the same as back when Azuki Azusa got summoned to the storehouse and had been tied up with the handcuffs. That soft, spongy sensation from back then is still lingering in my brain cells, and I didn’t wash my fingertips for a while after that so I could still feel it, but until Azuki Azusa cancelled her wish, my head had been foggy.

It felt like I had to do it no matter what. That’s probably what causes everyone to treat me like a prince, and why they all suddenly started thinking that swimsuits were a perfectly normal school uniform. But the wish this time hasn’t been cancelled just yet. The school isn’t back to normal, and the girls over there are still wearing swimsuits. Even the baseball cap is still in my hand. That would mean—

“But Azuki Azusa actually caught on to it…”

Only she had managed to break free from the mental reign of the cat statue. Unlike us, who needed to be told everything over and over, it only took her one attempt. But how could such a difference come to be? Does she just hate swimsuits more than Tsutsukakushi? Or does she have a stronger passion against perverts? I can’t tell.

“Still, this has turned quite troublesome.”

“What exactly?”

“Someone wished for the world to change like this. But everyone who knows about the Tsutsukakushi Family’s Cat God should know about the risks. And yet things still ended up like this…”

“…Are you seriously saying that?” Tsutsukakushi, who had been walking around close by, suddenly stopped.

She walked towards me at a remarkably fast pace, peeking up at my face with her usual deadpan gaze. Whoah, I’m feeling a lot of pressure here.

“What do you mean?”

“I believe this incident is fairly easy to decipher. Though things are a bit more convoluted this time around, I can see three parts to this. The uniforms turned into swimsuits. Senpai is being treated like a prince. School turned more fun. If you sum it up, that’s what it boils down to.”

“Yup, I agree.”

“The only person who benefits from this is you, Prince-san.”

“I see… Hm?”

Before I realized what was going on, the trial against me had been started and completed at the same time. The prosecutor was Tsutsukakushi, and the accused was Yokodera, and I realized I had already been brought out to the gallows.

“Wha, eh?! I-It’s not me, though! Why do you think it’s me?!”

“There is only one person who would go this far to make the entire student body wear swimsuits. And who was so happy to be called ‘Prince’ again?”

“You’ve got it wrong! I mean, it’s true that I wanted to go back to my normal student life without being labeled as a pervert! And I also burned the sight of you in a swimsuit deep into my brain cells as well! And whenever I close my eyes, I can see it all over again… Hee hee hee!”

“Is that so? Then I will never wear a swimsuit in front of you ever again. Relying on the power of the cat god to fulfill your desires is something only a despicable pervert would do.”

“I succumbed to temptation, and will reflect on my sins… Wait, that’s not it! I didn’t pray to that thing!”

“I’m joking.”

“Eh?”

“I can’t exactly talk like a saint. I understand what it feels like to be desperate enough to rely on the Cat God.” Tsutsukakushi took my hand and put her small one on top of mine.

Her blue obsidian eyes were gazing straight at me.

“I might have been a bit too cruel just now. I’m sorry. No matter what kind of person you may become, I will always be your ally, Senpai, so remember that.”

“S-Stop… don’t be so kind to me…”

“I’ll close my eyes two or three times, so go enjoy this world to the fullest. Once you’re satisfied, let’s face reality. I’ll always be right with you. I don’t mind calling you ‘Prince’ once in a while.” They were warm, comfortable words.

She’s like an angel helping to reform a good-for-nothing man who stole a 100yen girl video from a store.

“So you’ll eventually have to cancel this wish, Prince-san. People may live off bread, but they cannot live off dreams, right?”

I was astonished. Tsutsukakushi continued with the kindness of Christ, muttering things like ‘You can never be satisfied with me, is it?’ or ‘Only this once, okay?’, clearly acting like an Onee-san. She really was well-suited to be a member of the children’s welfare club, wasn’t she? But, in the end, I was left still being considered a pervert, with my only ally doubting me.

*

‘Despair is a sickness unto death,’ is what the Danish philosopher Kierkegaard has stated. Since he was the type of pervert who would feel carnal desires towards loli maids³, I don’t think I’d be able to get along with him very well, but right now I totally understand what he was trying to say. I don’t care about being ignored by those girls over there, or being accused of being a pervert, in the slightest. As long as I can pretend that all of them are hardcore tsunderes, I can live in happiness for another 100 years. But not having Tsutsukakushi believe me… that was when I felt true despair.

“Swimsuits are the best… Girls adjusting their swimsuits is the most beautiful sight ever…”

I stood on the balcony of the 7th building’s clock tower, right beneath the belltower, and I muttered to myself in solitude. In the middle of the round colosseum, on the steeple of the church, this 7th building stood tallest in the sky, allowing you to look over the school as a whole. From the school grounds with scattered rounds all around, I could see all the way to what looked like a curtain of girls wearing swimsuits. Even looking at it now, it really seems perfect.

“This really is a world created for me, isn’t it?”

How do I put it? I feel like everything will have a happy end if I just accept the fact that this situation has come to pass because of me. At the very least, Tsutsukakushi would be satisfied by this, I could leave this world in the back of my head as a weird irregularity, and finally focus on the main problem: Azuki Azusa.

I accept it, Cat God. This is my loss. So please help me—

“Wait, Yokodera! Don’t rush things!”

“Guha?!”

Both my legs were suddenly tackled from underneath me, and I was slammed against the iron fence. My hit was hit again and again, the emergency ladder greeted my head and face several times, and I was thrown to the floor. I felt a dull impact on my stomach, which caused me to be knocked out for at least ten seconds.

“I heard everything! Leave it to me! Just don’t think about jumping!”

“Ugh…”

“Y-Yokodera?! What are these wounds?! Who would make you suffer like this?!”

You! …Though I couldn’t say that. I knew that she was probably just trying to be kind, but considering that she was forming a fist while sitting on top of me, I would rather not test my luck.

According to the King:

After Tsutsukakushi forced her to change into her uniform, she had told her about the circumstances and irregularities surrounding the school. Including the accusation that the criminal who had prayed to the Cat God was Yokodera Youto. But even so—

“I don’t doubt you in the slightest. No matter what logical conclusion my perfect, impeccable, cute Tsukiko might arrive at, just like God has made us two siblings, everyone has their own faults.” Steel-san announced with a proud voice.

Her two eyes were gleaming like the setting sun, reflecting the world in them. Her beautiful voice was carried across the wind, passing through the world.

“Club President…”

When I heard my own voice, it sounded like I was close to breaking out in tears. Of course, there are a few things I felt like I should probably correct her on, but I was also just moved. That reminds me, something like that as written in the ‘A Wild Sheep Chase’ series: Unbeatable despair does not exist. Just like an unbeatable swimsuit doesn’t exist, either. Still laying sideways on the balcony, I looked up at the imposing King. She looked more reliable than anybody else in the world. The emergency ladder was still shaking from the impact, Steel-san was completely ignoring it, and she was still sitting on top of me, but none of that mattered anymore. Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi believed in me. No matter the time, unrelated to anything.

“…And that’s what I said.”

“Yes?”

“So… could you maybe tell your younger brother about that?” Steel-san fidgeted nervously, tapping her fingers together as she glanced down at me. “Ah, well, just, you know, let him know that Club President Tsutsukakushi is actually kind, reliable, and a worthy future wife and all that, but saying too much would make it sound unnatural! That being said, don’t hold back, either! Knowing how clever you are, I know that you will have solid judgement when it comes to it!”

In other words, she wants my imaginary younger brother to have a better image of her. Her cheeks were reddened, not only by the light of the setting sun, as she continued to steal glances at me here and there. Um, where did my Queen Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi go? On some travels around the world? Can I have her back instead of this maiden?

“Club President, um… can I please organize my thoughts…?”

“What’s wrong? Did I not manage to get it across? Now that might be a bit troublesome.” Her fidgeting fingers slowly started to form a fist, like she was getting ready for a full-blown Steel Punch.

The world started to shake like crazy above my head. Ahh, I see! I’m still being restrained beneath Steel-san. I’m just being threatened!

“There is another problem before that! And I’ve already brought it up countless times before!”

That being said, I prepared myself for the worst and raised my voice. No matter how much you threaten me, I won’t back down! Today, I’ll accept all the debt I have gathered.

“I actually don’t—”

“Family-intern teasing pulverizing destruction punch!”

—Have a younger brother, is what I wanted to say, but before I could even let out another sound, a barrage of slaps came raining down. They felt so real that I couldn’t fight back.

“Fool! Are you still saying that?!” Steel-san’s sky blue eyes were shining bright like transparent crystal balls.

Tears ran down her cheeks, and she shook my shoulders.

“If you refuse to accept it, then I’ll keep hitting you until you do! Hurting you physically hurts me just as much mentally, but I’ll hit you for his sake!”

In order to protect me from myself, she’s making me suffer as she continues to hit me. I know I might sound rude when I say this, but Steel-san’s love is really annoying!

“Stop it already! I get it, I get it! So who is more important to you? Me or my younger brother?!”

“Don’t change the subject! Your faces look identical, your voices are identical, your gestures are identical, almost like one is an invisible existence. If I’m not careful, I might start seeing you as the same person, so of course I think that both of you are just as important as each other!”

“Ding ding ding! Let’s try digging a bit deeper into that argument you just made!”

“Hm… I wonder what the younger Yokodera brother is doing right now… I’m curious…”

“I didn’t mean digging in that way! Don’t blush like that! Stop fidgeting like that! Look at me! Listen to me instead!”

“If you don’t promise to tell your younger brother, then I won’t.”

“Don’t make yourself sound cute now! None of that! Wait, so the reason you actually believed me is because you were trying to win points with my younger brother?!”

“Now, no accusations like that. Just just just where where where do you have any proof proof proof about that…?”

“Gaaaaah, I won’t believe anybody anymore! Here I come, Kierkegaard!”

“—Hold on a second, Yokodera. There is another reason that stops me from doubting you.”

Steel-san opened her arms wide, as if to indicate the familiar scenery beneath her. The round colosseum, the green hill filled with ruins, a grotto in the pool, a water fountain with engravings in the courtyard, the slanting belfry, the arches surrounding the outer walls, the long concave corridors, several minarets and crosses, an entrance to a giant cylindrical building, etc etc.

“…That former gym hall over there. You might already know, but I assume that this is the Colosseo⁴ in Rome. The courtyard with the ruins is most likely the hill at the Foro Romano⁵. The swimming grounds have to be the Blue Grotto. The courtyard is the Piazza Navona, and the first building, the office building, is the leaning Tower of Pisa. The other buildings you can see are Palazzo Ducale, the Uffizi Gallery, St. Peter’s Basilica—”

And so on. Honestly, most of these places and locations were new to me, not to mention that her pronunciation seemed weird.

“These are all famous tourist attractions in Italy. All of them are the best of the best.”

“…How do you know all that?”

Everything I’ve seen before is thanks to pictures, like the Colosseum, or the leaning Tower of Pisa. I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard this from the well-informed younger Tsutsukakushi sister. But this is Steel-san we’re talking about. She doesn’t even know half of the alphabet.

“It’s simple. I learned about Italy because it is worth learning about. What is there about Italy worth mentioning?”

“Pasta? Their cars? Their fashion brands? The Catholic church?”

“Not quite. The most important thing is their techniques for picking up girls.”

“Huh?”

“Apparently, Italian men are skilled at winning over whatever is in front of them. So I thought that I should go there myself and learn these techniques for when the time comes… seeing that I… you know… have two important people to me now…” Steel-san went into her fidgeting mode for a second time.

Basically, she wanted to study abroad in Italy, and then study at the University of Massachusetts, and finally move to Arabia! What an impressive plan! So many ridiculous dreams to chase! Seriously, study up on these things properly. I feel bad for the teacher who is responsible for your future consultation.

“—Anyway, leaving that joke aside…”

“You were definitely serious about that!”

“…I planned to move to Italy, but that desire was something I had more than ten years ago.” Steel-san said bluntly.

I tried to laugh it off, only for my throat to squeeze up. Her sky blue eyes were filled with transparent—Let’s say it was similar to when she gazed at the family photo in her room—feelings of solitude.

“Apparently, our father had connections to people who live in Italy. There’s an old album in the bookshelves of the storehouse. Whenever we couldn’t sleep when we were young, Tsukiko and I would take these albums and go through them at night. When our eyes closed, we thought of the far-away country. Though this is a story from the past, now that I’m surrounded by this exact scenery, I can’t help but feel nostalgic.”

Even after I waited for a while, she said nothing else. The girl who had lived all alone with her little sister in that old house just looked through the fence into the distance without taking a glance in my direction. As the evening scenery of the country she once admired slowly started to change, we heard the large bells ringing the tune of dusk, and she finally opened her mouth again.

“That’s why this world might actually be my wish.”

“Club President…”

“That’s the reason why I couldn’t doubt you. I mean, why Italy of all places? Though is this entire situation my fault, your fault, our someone else’s fault entirely?”

The profile of Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi looked oddly reliable, yet young at the same time. At the top of the pole in the center of a cafe terrace located in the middle of the courtyard, the Italian flag waved in the wind, showing its three colors. After watching this sight in silence for a bit, I found myself unable to bear it, and I spoke up.

“…I might have an idea who’s behind this.”

“What did you say?”

“I believe we might have to ask her out. Could you help me?”

“Of course. I want to know the truth as well.”

The previously alone girl finally bit her lip ever so softly, and separated her gaze from the scenery around us. She stood up and lent me a hand, allowing me to stand up in one go. Her palm was warm, soft, and filled with strength and determination.

---

1 This one’s a doozy so stick with me. In general, Japanese Kanji have a ‘kunyomi’ (Japanese reading) and ‘onyomi’ (Chinese reading). Using the Japanese reading, you get Yokodera, but with the Chinese reading, you get ‘Ouji’, which in this context means Prince.

2 Now that I think about it, this whole thing might be a reference to Max Patkin, who was called the Clown Prince of Baseball

3 This might be a distant reference to a novel called ‘Lolita’, which apparently has connections to this philosopher, but lord knows.

4 She uses the Italian name here

5 Roman Forum