Hentai Ouji to Warawanai Neko. Volume 1 Chapter 5

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How to defeat an easy-going King

Oh, about the supplementary lessons from that Daruma. Though I would have loved to say that everything worked out thanks to Ponta’s help, it didn’t. You’d think the happy end credits would roll after I got everything back, right? But the following morning, I got a call from the Daruma, calling me to the math preparation room.

“Love wins against studying, huh? You’re not wrong about that. No matter how much you mess around with math, things that are important to you won’t come out of the formulae. That being said, no exactly because of that, studying has its own meaning. The imaginary number ‘Love’ doesn’t exist in reality, but if you plot it on a complex plane, you can make coordinates out of all sorts of things. Trying to see something you normally can’t is the meaning of studies and research, and I want you to understand that as well…”

The sunlight shining into the room from the open window revealed the sweat inside the Daruma’s moustache.

“Speaking of learning, I’ve learned just how much love and all that is the center of your guys’ world. Yesterday, that is. But the fact that you’re standing in front of me right now kind of shows that you weren’t that desperate about running away with your lover. You know, I really think that studying in high school is what really opens up the students’ horizons.”

Basically, Ponta came up with the excuse that I had run away with Azuki Azusa. In the end, all you need is a clever friend. Unlike Ponta. I’ll stuff him into the juicer later.

“Listen, I’ll do something about your math grades. You just rethink that whole running away during summer break thing, okay? At least see if you can wait until marriage.”

The Daruma is actually giving some proper thought to how his students live, huh? I didn’t even have to take my supplementary lessons anymore. Though the last part there sounded kind of dangerous, I used my facade to nod along in agreement.

I returned to my classroom and told Azuki Azusa the results.

“Now we have some free time… What should we do?”

“Th-Then since I have to repay you for the plush toy, why don’t we go play a bit!”

“Sounds good. Should I invite Ponta, too?”

Azuki Azusa stopped fidgeting nervously, and instead gave me a stern pout.

“Dullard. I-I want to go with you!”

“The two of us?”

“The two of us! I-I only made lunch boxes for two people, too, so any more than the two of us will be a bother!” With a beet red face, she pushed something wrapped in a cloth wrapper towards me.

Ohhh, what a straight ball from the old ages. Is this the kind of thing that happens once she’s free of her facade? I didn’t expect this. She must really hate Ponta. Azuki Azusa continued happily skipping for around ten seconds. That was about the time it took us to make our way out onto the hallway and run into the female student council president.

“Azuki-san, I was about to call you. The results of your exams were quite detrimental this time, weren’t they? Here’s your supplementary printouts for English, geography, world history, kanji, healthcare science, and household science.”

“…I actually have some very important business to attend to right now. This is more important than reindeer are on Christmas Eve, so could you maybe let me go just this once?”

“I will not. This is an excuse so that I can isolate this enemy of all women, this rotten insect of a pervert from the other girls, so be grateful. Now, then, let’s make our way to the student guidance room.”

“Noooooo!” Azuki Azusa broke out in tears as she was taken away in front of my eyes.

Seriously, did she really not study at all? Also, who should I talk to if I want to complain about the student council president?

Anyway, after that happened I was actually bored out of my mind. Teachers still had to come to work even during student break and the clubs were going on just as always, so the atmosphere on school grounds wasn’t all too different from usual. I was the only person wandering around without any reason why I was there in the first place. This sensation of not having anything to do… What kind of deja-vu is this?

At times like these, I knew exactly what to do. When I opened the window in the hallway, I had another deja-vu when I wondered about which late-night show to watch today. Looking around, just as I expected, I saw a small peeper around the corner.

“The housekeeper saw it¹! Wasn’t that the name of some old TV movie?”

“What kind of movie was it?”

“She would peek around the corner with that ‘Oh my, what a troublesome scene’ kind of expression. What happened, Tsutsukakushi?”

“I was just thinking that you had really managed to make up with Azuki-san.”

Hesitant like a cat that was just found on the street, Tsutsukakushi slowly showed half of her body from behind the wall.

“She apparently managed to cheer up, thanks to you. I’ve gotta pay you back in some way.”

“Pay me back? Is that so? Then I’d like to go on a date… with just the two of us.” Even though she was still half hiding her body, she said that without hesitation.

“A-A date? I mean, I don’t mind, but isn’t there anything else you’d want? It feels like a waste to use that on a date.”

“A waste? What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’d have to ask you for a date, Tsutsukakushi.”

I don’t have a little sister. Only an older sister who’s a total pain to handle. Going out with a calm, cute Kouhai could help me feel what it’s like to be an older brother.

When I beckoned her closer, Tsutsukakushi finally revealed her entire body. For some reason, she was sulking as she looked up at me. Well, in reality, it just seemed like she was sulking. Her actual expression was still devoid of any emotion. Though I don’t think she’s angry.

“So where are we going?” I asked

“No… um… that was a joke.”

“Ehhh?! Why would you joke about that?!”

“I just felt like saying it. Just a mere coincidence… But from the looks of it, you managed to get back your facade, I see.”

Wow, she’s sharp. She really is, but those words just now were my actual feelings. Then again, she wasn’t wrong about the facade, so I smiled and nodded.

“Good for you. That means your goal is accomplished.”

“I guess, yeah. Then again, I feel bad for getting it done before you, Tsutsukakushi.”

“I couldn’t bear Senpai leaking your honest feelings all the time anymore, so I’m more thankful than anything. More importantly, could you apologize for all the things you said and did to me?”

“…I’m sorry.” I lowered my head like the dog from Pavlov’s House².

Weird. Whenever I look at Tsutsukakushi, I feel like I need to apologize without even having a reason to. It’s like a special program that’s built into my body. Tsutsukakushi let out her typical sigh and lifted up her bag as if she had remembered something. It looked like she had stuffed something in there. It was deformed into a rather odd shape.

“If you want to repay me, then join me for a bit.”

“Are you sure?” I asked again. I followed her into a nearby empty classroom.

Apparently, Tsutsukakushi wanted someone to evaluate her acting. She mentioned that she only came to school today to borrow some equipment from her club.

“Acting…? What club were you part of again? The drama club?”

“The children’s welfare club. I think I told you before.”

“Ahh, that’s right…”

I didn’t remember at all. While I pondered this, Tsutsukakushi opened her bag, taking out papers like you’d see in a picture story show, and set them down on the teacher’s desk. Considering that she could barely see over the teacher’s desk in the first place, the paper in front of her caused her to vanish completely, and all I could see was her hands holding on to the paper. She was doing her best for the little children’s welfare, and it made me let out a laugh.

“…Even though you forget what I told you, you now are having this reaction. Is there anything you would like to say?”

“N-Not at all. I think that the children’s welfare club is a wonderful thing. Your mentality to contribute to society just made me smile. Nothing more.”

“Really?”

“Really really! I’ve never lied in my entire life!”

“…Ever since your facade returned, I can’t believe anything you say anymore.”

Behind the shuffle of the papers, I could pick up the sound of the teacher’s desk being kicked. In order to escape from any possible impending doom, I distance myself towards the back of the classroom.

“Now, then. ‘The Ostracized King’ starts now.” Tsutsukakushi started reading from the picture show paper.

I was immediately astonished. The story must have been an original work that her club made, and the heartwarming pictures and story were pretty interesting, but the fact that the person narrating the story didn’t have any vocal intonation was a fatal flaw. Even during the climax, the scenes that were probably meant to make you cry just slid past without any lasting emotional influence. If any children listened to this, it’d probably only result in a collection of yawns.

But Tsutsukakushi is unable to show any expression. She’s powerless. Her expressions were stolen by the cat statue, and now she can’t even entertain children when she wants to.

“…With that, the king managed to make his very first friend. And they lived happily ever after.”

She flipped over the last page and finished the show with her final words. I didn’t realize that the show was over until Tsutsukakushi’s face peeked out from behind the paper. That showed how distracted and how disinterested in the show I was.

“Senpai, how was it?”

“Um… The drawings and the story are great, so I’m sure the kids must like it.”

“I see. So everything else wasn’t good.”

“Ah, no, that’s…”

“You don’t have to use your facade, I know it already, myself.” Tsutsukakushi shrugged her shoulders and picked the papers up from the teacher’s desk, stuffing them into her bag.

“I’m happy that the drawings look great. Thank you very much. Someone else wrote the story, but I drew the pictures.”

“Ohh, really?! You worked hard, huh?”

“I am a passionate club member, after all… Apparently, there will be a show around the end of July at the welfare institute. I really wanted to participate with this picture show, and I practiced really hard, but I guess that it’s not going to work out.” She spoke with an expression like she wasn’t bothered by it at all.

But her large eyes reflected a sort of sadness deep inside them. I could feel something cold rising up inside of my body. It felt like I had managed to get back a lost gravure idol picture collection, but only part of it. I haven’t done anything. I can’t rest until Tsutsukakushi gets her expressions back.

“Today, I found out that my voice isn’t going to be of any use. Maybe I can work behind the scenes.”

“Tsutsukakushi…”

“You might not be aware of it, but I’m actually quite a utility player. I can draw and make delicious lunch boxes. I’m also proficient at shoulder massages, massages around the waist, and foot massages. I really am in high demand, you know.”

I knew she was just putting on a brave face. But I couldn’t help but smile after seeing her puff out her chest in confidence.

“Then how about you give me a massage next time?”

“Definitely not. I’ll end up smelling like you.”

“W-Why?! I was asking with pure intentions!”

“I know that you think about perverted stuff as naturally as you breathe. Your intonation when you said the word ‘massage’ sounded weird.”

“Urk…”

I mean, if a girl gave me a massage, I wouldn’t be myself, and the world wouldn’t be right, if I didn’t imagine this and that and haha and fufu and all that. Even though I’ve gotten my facade back, she can see right through me. How? I spoke up again to avoid the cold blizzard that Tsutsukakushi was emitting.

“I-If you’re that much of a utility player, why didn’t you join a sports club as a manager or something instead of the children’s welfare club?” I tried to change the topic. Both honestly and with my facade.

“A manager, huh? I never thought about that.”

“I’m sure you’d be popular. For example, the track-and-field club!”

“Senpai is there, so I’d rather not.”

“How cruel…”

“I’m joking. The real reason is…” Tsutsukakushi looked over towards the window.

We could hear voices coming from the sports grounds outside. A husky, commanding voice stood out from all the others. The Steel King’s fierce ‘encouragement’ gave me shivers, even though I knew that it wasn’t directed at me.

“This,” A mutter that didn’t explain anything leaked out of Tsutsukakushi’s mouth.

“…I wanted to ask about this before.” I cleared my throat. “What happened that caused you to end up in such a thorny relationship with the Steel King?”

“Because she hates me,” She responded without hesitation.

It was almost like she was trying to distance herself from her feelings.

“Don’t get the wrong idea, though. It’s not like I hate Nee-san.”

“You’re on bad terms, but you don’t hate her?”

“Yes. If anything, I actually like her a lot. We were really close when we were younger. We even took baths together all the way until Nee-san started attending middle school, and we always slept together. Maybe that was the reason why I joined the children’s welfare club. Because I know how nice it is to listen to others.”

“Then why?”

“I’m the one at fault. Ever since we lost our mother and father, I clung to Nee-san. From morning to night, every time I opened my mouth it was ‘Give me food, give me sweets, give me toys, play with me, teach me, pay attention to me’… Nee-san lost all the time she had for herself. She must have been fed up with me. I think she started avoiding me around the time I graduated from middle school.” Tsutsukakushi spoke with a tone so calm that it sounded like she didn’t care at all.

I knew that this wasn’t the case, of course. Taking baths together with her older sister… this wasn’t the time to envision such rosy, romantic scenery, was it? Her voice was flat, almost carefree, but I could tell how much she hurt just from her words alone.

“Whenever we actually run into each other directly, something happens like what happened back at the shopping district. I can’t find a good time to talk to her. If possible, I’d like to go back in time. The reason we grew apart was my personality. If I stopped being such a child, I thought we could become like we had been before…” Her voice cut out.

Tsutsukakushi gazed outside the window. Her profile was split between light and shadow. Her narrowed eyes gave off a fleeting sensation, and I was scared she would vanish in front of me.

“U-Um!” I subconsciously grabbed Tsutsukakushi’s hand.

The girl turned towards me. Her body was so small, yet her eyes were so wide. It made me remember the first time we had met up on that hill with the cedar tree. Back then, I was confused as to why she would be on a walk all alone. This might just be me jumping to conclusions, but maybe she had wanted to pray about her older sister the entire time. As a result, she was done in by the Stony Cat. I can’t accept that the cat would deceive a small girl like this.

“…Um… since I got my facade back, it’s your turn next, Tsutsukakushi. What should we do? Is there anything I can do? Just let me know. I’ll do anything I can to help.”

“…Is that so? Thank you very much.”

I could see my reflection in her eyes that were still devoid of expression and emotion. This time, my face really looked serious. If only I could grasp Tsutsukakushi a bit more. Tsutsukakushi gave it some thought for a bit.

“Senpai, do you have time tomorrow?”

“Of course!”

“Then I’d like you to give me some of your time.” She started hitting my hand.

It took me a long time to realize that this gesture meant that she wanted me to let go of her hand.

Tsutsukakushi said that she had some business left at the club and that she would stay behind. It was perfect timing, so I made my way to the sports grounds after deciding on the place and time we would meet up tomorrow.

Apparently, neither the baseball nor the soccer club had practice today. The track-and-field club, who was normally forced to practice in the corner of the school grounds, could now use the middle instead, and they were running and jumping over hurdles. In the middle of all this, a spear drew a beautiful parabola in the air. Of course, the person who had thrown this spear was our proud club president Tsutsukakushi. If I had to guess, day and night, whether she was awake or asleep, all that filled her head was probably the track-and-field club.

I sat on the stone stairs and watched the club activities. Time passed for a while, and I soon was unable to count the times she had scolded someone on both my hands. Bla bla no lover’s talk, bla bla don’t slack, bla bla be serious. I think she had more energy than usual, to be honest. I guess being slapped on the butt by a girl only works in videos.

“…Alright! Take a good rest!”

When she called out with a loud voice , half of the club members sank down on the ground. The other half fell unconscious while standing. The Steel King herself slowly turned towards me. Good, she’s wearing spats today. But I chose to not savor the moment. I jumped up, saluting her.

“Good work today!”

“Stop acting like we’re in the military. I don’t like that sort of thing. A harmonious and peaceful atmosphere like the whatever-rangers is much more to my liking. That’s the real identity of a club, don’t you think?”

“President Tsutsukakushi, I see you like to joke around as well.”

“Hm? What do you mean…? No, nevermind. Yokodera. You seem to be doing rather well.”

“Indeed. I’m sorry that I bothered you so much before, but I have fully recovered.”

“Ohhh!” Still wearing her stern expression, the Steel King stretched out the palm of her hand.

Just like her younger sister, she’s probably going to hit me and demand an apology. I flinched, readying myself for the impending pain, but she stopped and looked at my arm like she had been expecting something, letting the palm of her hand dangle idly.

“…Yes, this really is wonderful news. Yay~”

Finally, while looking slightly dejected, she used her right hand to give her left a high-five. What a weird person.

“Every time you started blurting out something impossible for me to understand, I felt your anguish myself. But now I can safely retire. You can come back to the club starting today.”

“I’m really thankful for that, but I have to apologize.”

“Hm? Why?”

“There’s still one more thing I have to take care of, so I can’t come back just yet. Could I be as selfish as that?”

“You have a responsibility bigger than the track-and-field club?”

“Yes. Very much so. And, after that—” I wiped the sweat from the palm of my hand.

There was something else I had to tell her no matter what.

“Could I maybe turn down your request for me to become the next club president? There are people more suited for the role here than me.”

“Do you mean to say that my judgement is flawed?” The Steel King narrowed her eyes fiercely.

It felt like the entire weight of the deep sea was crushing down on me. I grit my teeth, desperately trying to avoid pulling my tail in and making an excuse. This pressure is nothing against true fear. Just please don’t hit me.

After around 10 seconds of her glaring at me passed…

“…You’ve changed a bit, haven’t you? You must have given this a lot of thought in order to say that with such an expression on your face. Very well. Finish your business first. We can talk about the club president business afterwards.” The Steel King let out a sigh and softened her voice.

Nobody was watching, and she was acting like the opposite of her usual self. This might be the first time I was glad to be called a Prince, because now I could truly help the King out.

“But keep it quick. I have my own business to take care of.”

“Thank you very much. That reminds me, you have university entrance exams to deal with soon. Don’t you, Club President?”

“Indeed. After entrance exams, I have to progress with the marriage and the other things related to that.”

“M-Marriage?! Club president is getting married?! So you’ve already decided on a person!”

“There’s no need to be so surprised. I am of suitable age, and that’s what it means to become an adult,” The Steel King calmly explained herself in response to my shock.

That wasn’t the image of ‘A commoner’s happiness’, but rather a phrase drowned in reality. I never thought there would be a real prince at the knees of the king so soon. The club president is going to get married, huh…? I really thought she was going to devote her entire life to the track-and-field club. What kind of person is she going to marry? Maybe someone who enjoys being hurt?

“More importantly, tell me about what happened the other day.”

While I was busy imagining some kind of newlywed domestic violence video, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“What might you be referring to?

“That two-timing with my little sister. I still need to hear the circumstances of that day.”

She still is holding a grudge about that! I thought I got away with it, but it seems like I still have an uphill battle from here. Not to mention that the King’s eyes aren’t smiling in the slightest. Instead, she’s putting even more strength into her arm. Even though the atmosphere was relaxed just a little while ago, a different kind of pressure was now weighing down on me.

“Back then you were in the middle of your medical treatment, but now that you’ve recovered, there should be no problem. Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Um… Uuuum… I wonder… Th-The person you met was actually my… my younger brother! Yes, my younger brother! Coincidences sure are scary.”

“What did you say? This is the first I’ve heard of that. But wow… you sure do resemble each other a lot.”

“But keep this a secret from everyone else, okay? There’s actually only a 1 in 256 chance that you run into him! You’re pretty lucky, to be honest! That’s almost as lucky as finding a liquid metal slime³!”

“Liquid? Metal? Slime? Hm?”

“Metal is really hard to bend and break, right? My younger brother is always doing his own thing, and we’re really bad with each other. That’s why I hadn’t heard about it until now. That must have been him going on a date with Tsutsukakushi. How dare he two-time like that!”

“Hmm… I don’t really get it, but apparently your younger brother is a ne’er-do-well and you are innocent?”

“I’m glad you understand. Please direct all your anger towards this playboy younger brother that I have. Also, it seems like you’re on bad terms with your little sister as well?”

Alright, I’ve made it through! I’m glad to have you back, my facade! …Or so I thought, but when I saw the Steel King’s expression, I knew that I had stepped on a landmine.

“Who told you about me and Tsukiko?”

“Ah, well…”

“Believing in absurd rumours like that is something that a fool would do. Feel free to spit it out.” The King kicked on the ground.

I don’t have a hobby of waltzing across minefields, and I’m certainly not explosion-proof, either. Everyone has things they don’t like to talk about. For me, that would be what I hide in the back of my bookshelf.

But I had heard the words she had spoken with such an indifferent voice before, and I knew that they would never reach the ears of anyone who needed to hear them the most. I didn’t want that.

“…So you aren’t dissatisfied with the relationship between you and your little sister?”

“Annoying. I’m telling you to not worry if we’re close or not.”

“I-I mean I was just wondering if there was a tiniest, slightest chance that it had gotten even a little bit stiff between the two of you…”

“Don’t beat around the bush like that. Even if there were some kind of tension between Tsukiko and I, it would have nothing to do with you. Family problems are to be solved inside the family, right?”

I felt like the pressure emanating from the King was enough to force me to bow down. There were lots of things I wanted to say. ‘Don’t bring up liking or disliking her. Deny it at least, you moron.’ But I didn’t have the courage to say any of that.

“Just tell me one thing. I have to know the answer, no matter what. How do you feel about how your little sister has lost the ability to make facial expressions? How do you feel about how she can’t speak anything but monotone anymore?”

“Honest feelings…? What do you mean?”

“Have you heard the rumor of the Stony Cat? It’s actually true.”

“Wait wait wait. The Stony Cat? I have no clue what you are talking about.” The Steel King shook her head.

She was like the naked king who didn’t want to believe any rumours. What were the people around her talking about if not that? Anyway, I went ahead and explained everything that had happened. After hearing me out, Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi, the girl who looked exactly like her sister, blinked.

“It is a bizarre idea, but it’s nothing more than absurd. That cat will grant you any wish? It’s not a cat god or anything, and I can’t believe it possesses such a wonderful—I mean divine skill.”

“It might be hard to believe, but it’s the truth.”

“I won’t bite. Wise men won’t be fooled by lies like that.” She looked down at me like a demon lord that thought of itself highly.

She must have been ruling the track-and-field club for so long that he’d become spoiled in that regard. You probably just can’t tell when someone’s lying to you or not. That’s what I felt like saying, but I didn’t.

“Also, I can hardly believe that the cat statue would have that kind of power. After all, I was the one who created it when I was young.”

Her words cut through my brain like a knife.

“You made it?!”

“Exactly. So people are calling it “The Stony Cat” now. I had no idea. I thought it turned out pretty well, but I never thought it would turn out like that…”

“Why did you put that grotesque thing up on that hill? That’s just littering.”

“What are you talking about? I can do whatever I want there. It’s my family’s property.”

“Your family owns that hill?!”

“What, you didn’t know? That hill is part of the Tsutsukakushi Family’s property. My grandfather was a landowner way back, so we own several places like it. It’s just one out of many properties we have. The hill is just behind our family’s house. It never served any real purpose, so now it’s just a place for children to play.”

After hearing all that, my mouth was hanging wide open in shock. The Steel King didn’t have any artistic sense at all. She was actually pretty rich. But all these things didn’t matter. On the contrary, they made sense, since she was a king. What really caught me by surprise was that I had no idea about any of this. Tsutsukakushi hadn’t mentioned any of it even once. Just when I thought she was finally opening up to me about her older sister, I had found something else she was hiding from me. Is this really how much she hates talking about her family? Maybe the problems between the two are deeper than I previously imagined.

“So anyway, you’re saying that your wish was granted by the cat? That’s not possible. By the way, did you just call my masterpiece ‘grotesque’? Did you? Yokodera? Are you ignoring me on purpose? That can’t be it, right?”

The Steel King was muttering something to herself, but I just found it annoying, so I tried to ignore her.

“…Hmm, I see you still aren’t feeling well. Take a good rest.”

She returned back to the sports grounds and the spartan training resumed. I was too busy thinking, so I forgot to actually greet the other club members. Despite my pondering, I still couldn’t come up with any good idea for what to do about the Tsutsukakushi sisters. You can’t win against the King.

On my way home, I took a quick glance into the student guidance room.

“98… 99… 100… Uuu, this never ends… what about my date…?”

Azuki Azusa sounded like Okiku-san from the Dish Mansion⁴, and she was letting out groans of despair and sadness. At this rate, she might become one of the school’s seven Mysteries.

‘I’m always watching you! I’ll come visit you tomorrow.’ I wrote on a piece of paper.

I pushed the note through the opening of the door and left her behind. Since I’m not a stalker, supporting her more directly might have been a better idea, but there was a sign that read ‘Keep Out, Pervert’ on the door, so I had to think of another way. It’d be nice if the student council president didn’t treat me like garbage.

*

The sun beat down on me, even though it was early in the morning. I wonder if riding on my bike naked would be better. Of course, I’d still feel embarrassed like a normal person, so I decided not to rip my clothes off to see.

I don’t know what I should do to help Tsutsukakushi get back her facial expressions and her ability to express her emotions. She had told me to ‘Come to the bus stop close to the school gate,’ but nothing more. I leaned my bike against the guard rail and waited on the bench for about ten minutes. Of course, Tsutsukakushi’s clothes always looked great on her. That’s why I was looking forward to seeing them. However, when I saw her arrive wearing her standard uniform’s pleated skirt, I felt a bit disappointed. Maybe my disappointment showed on my face as well.

“I came here from my club. I can’t go to school if I’m not wearing my uniform.”

Something that sounded a lot like an excuse was thrown my way.

“Ah, that can’t be helped, then… Wait, I didn’t come here just to see you in casual clothes!”

“…Is that so? I’m sorry.”

“It’s all fine. Your blouse will end up see-through thanks to the season, so that’s enough eye candy for me.”

“I take back my apology. Those who violate the ESRB’s code of ethics aren’t allowed to look at me anymore.”

As if she were making sure to keep my eyes E rated, Tsutsukakushi pushed my back as we made our way onto the bus. Thankfully, the A/C in there was pleasant, and the coolness washed over us as we looked for free seats. Going out together with Tsutsukakushi like this had become quite the norm for me. Maybe because both of us know how the other person thinks. If I didn’t know any better, it’d feel like I’m on a date with a young childhood friend. I mean, I’d have trouble explaining what kind of relationship we have, but I’d be happy if that’s what it was.

Since her face lacks any sort of expression, just using words for communication proves difficult. I think it’s probably easier for us to understand each other without being a boyfriend-girlfriend couple. Tsutsukakushi must think that as well, I’m sure.

I tried really hard to deceive myself into thinking that, but there was a vague feeling of unease that went with it.

At the bus stop next to the national highway, Tsutsukakushi pushed my back again, forcing me off the bus. Since this was one of the main commuter lines in the region, the air was filled with exhaust gas. Since we had come all the way out here, there could only be one thing she was interested in.

“Do you want to buy something?”

“Yes. A lot, actually.”

A large shopping mall stood in front of us. We crossed the pedestrian crossing, went through a parking lot, and she continued to push me further and further inside. Wherever I looked, they had some insane assortment. From the 3rd floor deep underground to the topmost 12th floor, it felt like they were selling every single item that existed in the entire world. Some soft pop music filled the mall, almost as if it were the background noise of a busy street.

Back when this place first opened, Ponta and I came here together. We had heard tell of cosplay pictures that were being sold in one corner of the fifth floor, so we came here to scope things out. Of course, if Tsutsukakushi found out about that, she’d give me that cold gaze again, so I have to keep this a secret at all costs! …Or so I thought.

“This Santa Claus outfit is really cute. Though the skirt is a bit too short for my taste. Vampires and witches are definitely par for the course. Personally, I prefer cosplay from Alice in Wonderland. Senpai, which one do you like that most?”

Tsutsukakushi passionately walked around that very floor.

“H-Huh? You’re going to buy a costume?”

“I was originally planning on buying the cloth and then making it myself. But if the final product is already this well-made, I might as well just buy it here.” Tsutsukakushi walked to and fro, checking the prices. She pushed me back and forth like a drunkard.

“I think I prefer nurse outfits… Wait, you’re going to wear something?!”

“It’s part of the children welfare’s club activities. I told you about that event earlier. We ended up discussing the idea of dressing up for the occasion.”

“Ohhh… S-So then…” I gulped.

Right in front of me were swimsuits. There were bikinis and competitive ones. Right behind me was a mannequin wearing a swimsuit. Is this… the perfect moment to test out my swimsuit theory?

“A nurse outfit isn’t half bad, but I think the best outfit is still a swimsuit. It’s gotten really hot recently, right? You have to help children grow aware of the environment, right? Wearing clothes with less fabric might be a good idea. Stop global warming and all that!”

“………”

The strength pushing on my back lessened. Was that a bit too much, maybe? I don’t want to force it onto her or anything…

“…That’s right. A swimsuit might be a good idea.” Tsutsukakushi muttered in a quiet voice.

I felt her hands separate from my back. When I turned around, she was carrying several coathangers with swimsuits on them. “Wait a moment,” she said, and she disappeared inside a changing room.

“…Eh?”

Wait a moment. If I were to think about the meaning of that phrase, it would lead to the assumption that she’s changing right now. In other words, she wants me to look at her swimsuit. I can finally reach a resolution for the popularity poll about the best girls’ swimsuit style! Thank you very much, Tsutsukakushi! Show me that body of yours!

…Ridiculous. No, not quite. This is the best. I stood in front of the changing room. I heard the rustling noises of clothes from the other side of the curtains. The scene in my mind is obscured by dark clouds.

Was Tsutsukakushi really the type of girl who would do this? Back at the animal cafe, she said she’d rather die than cosplay in front of me, right? Even more so in a swimsuit. I was expecting her to scold me. So what kind of change in mental state led her to enter that changing room?

Tsutsukakushi had no expression on her face. I’ve taken that for granted now. But I never gave any thought to what kind of expression she would be making if she could. Tsutsukakushi used to be the type of person who’d get easily embarrassed. She might have said ‘Wait here’ in a calm manner. Behind that, though, she might have felt pressured by her Senpai, and maybe she’s about to break out in tears.

…That would be the worst. I should have learned from what happened with Azuki Azusa. Am I just going to repeat the same thing over and over, ignoring the other person’s feelings and just thinking of them as an object? Overwhelmed with emotion rather than reason, I realized too late that I was already moving towards the curtains.

“…Don’t force yourself, Tsutsukakushi! I was wro—ng?”

“………”

Her bluish eyes, resembling the light of the moon, reflected my own face, which was blinking in confusion. Tsutsukakushi Tsuiko was completely naked. I mean, I guess that makes sense, since she would have to take off her underwear completely in order to try on a swimsuit. To be honest, I should have seen this situation coming the second I decided to pull open the curtains.

“…I was wrong… I guess? I guess it was more like I did something wrong… Right? Hahaha.”

“………”

“Oh, by the way, you’re doing it wrong, hahaha. I saw it in a video once. Basically you don’t have to take off your shorts when you try on a swimsuit… Ha… haha…”

“…………”

Tsutsukakushi was as beautiful as a lunar rabbit. Her pure white hills had pink fruits on them or whatever. Although it sounds like I’m trying to describe it like it’s a scene from an adult novel, it’s not quite that shameless. I decided to take a moment just to soak it all in, burning the image deep into my retinas, and wait what am I doing?! I’m sorry. Thank you very much. You actually have more than I thought. A storm of possible responses filled my head, but before I could decide on one, Tsutsukakushi quietly closed the curtains in front of her.

“Ahhhh…” I collapsed to the ground.

This is bad. Seriously bad. I made that ‘Ehe, I’m so lucky’ face in a situation like that. I really am the worst. Around twenty minutes passed after that, but Tsutsukakushi didn’t exit the changing room. How can I make this up to her? For starters, I should probably make it a rule to never bring up swimsuits again.

“Tank top bikinis aren’t half bad, but a micro bikini can’t hurt once in a while!”

“I see that you have no consistency whatsoever when it comes to your preferred style of swimsuit. I can imagine that you spend your time thinking about how I would look in them. Why are you suddenly banging your head against the table, Senpai?”

“Wellllll, ahaha. I just had to admit my own weakness…”

I felt the need to make it up to her for that incident, so I invited her to the food court on the first floor, but Tsutsukakushi was the one to bring up the topic of swimsuits. She was happily munching on a portion of okonomiyaki⁵ three times the size of mine in front of her and prodding me to talk. But who’s brain isn’t properly reflecting upon his actions? Mine. For crying out loud.

“If it’s about what happened just now, I don’t care anymore. I’m not angry.”

A short moment of silence passed, and Tsutsukakushi spoke in a reminiscent manner. Because her voice was devoid of any intonation, I still couldn’t tell if that was how she truly felt or if it was just a lie. That being said, I didn’t feel the same mental pressure I felt before during my tickling attack. The atmosphere surrounding us is calm, even.

“I just know it can’t be helped since it’s you, Senpai. The responsibility is mine for not anticipating this outcome. Senpai did exactly what Senpai would always do, so don’t blame yourself.”

“Don’t be so kind now! I wasn’t trying to peek in on you or anything! I just didn’t want you to force yourself to put on the swimsuit for my sake…”

“It’s okay. I can tell as much.”

Or so Tsutsukakushi said, but it sounded more like she had discovered something else entirely. That was enough to deal the final blow to my already-overwhelming sense of guilt. She tugged on my sleeve. Ever since this morning, the amount of skinship from her end was mysteriously high, and I decided to take this as a sign that she was in a good mood. But for some reason… My weird feeling of discomfort only grew stronger.

“Next time, I’ll choose a cabin with a lock on it… Though I still need more courage for a risky swimsuit.”

“Eh? A-Are you seriously going to wear one?”

“In order to get on friendly terms with the children, even in my current state, I thought it should be fine if I put on a costume of sorts. Though I’m not familiar with the field of cosplay, if it’s to your liking, I will try my hardest—I mean I’ll take it as a reference.” Tsutsukakushi muttered as she fiddled with her cat-tail-like hair.

When she did this, I finally managed to pin down the sense of discomfort I had. What was even the goal of the two of us going out like this? It’s to gain back Tsutsukakushi’s expressions—her ability to show her true feelings. It isn’t to accept the situation she’s in. But Tsutsukakushi is treating this as a way to increase her courage and show some effort or whatever. This couldn’t be any more displaced from the normally-logical Tsutsukakushi.

“…Um, there’s something I’d like to ask.”

“What is it? If it’s my three sizes, then no.”

“Not that. Today, it feels like you’re… how do I put it… in order to get back your expressions and all that… The cat statue is the key for all of that, right? I heard that your Steel Nee-san made it?”

That ended up being awfully roundabout. Normally, I was the type of person who’d make mistakes and have them pointed out, whereas Tsutsukakushi’s role was to criticize me for them. I decided the role reversal today was important.

“Did you hear about that from Nee-san?”

“Ah, yeah… Should I not have?”

“No, it’s the opposite. It happened back when Nee-san and I got in a fight as small kids. Nee-san gave me that to make up for it. Even back then I questioned that choice, but since Nee-san was apologizing so earnestly, I couldn’t turn her down. We promised to always stay together like we did back then.” Tsutsukakushi sighed, and she had a distant gaze in her eyes. “To me, it is an important memory. I thought that she had forgotten about it and had given up, but it seems like Nee-san still remembers. Maybe we might actually be able to make up.”

“That would be the best result. We’re partners in this, so let me know if you need anything.”

“Um… Senpai… you helping me…” Tsutsukakushi clearly was hesitating to speak her mind.

She took a deep breath, followed by another, as if she had just woken up from a dream.

“…Is it for my—No, for the sake of getting back my facial expressions and ability to express my feelings?” She sought confirmation for something that should have already been obvious.

“Of course. I managed to get back my facade before you. I won’t be able to sleep soundly until you get your expressions back.”

“…Is that so? That makes sense.”

The broadcast playing inside the food court was too loud, and it didn’t allow me to fully hear what she had just said. Even though I had just stated the obvious, Tsutsukakushi looked smaller than before.

After that, we continued our shopping trip for a while, but in the end, we never bought a costume. Instead, we bought sweets, craft paper, some crayons, and that was all. While we did so, Tsutsukakushi remained suspiciously quiet. Even when I lectured her about the correct way to open porn magazines, rather than questioning my choice of conversation topic, she just nodded along silently. Is the shock of what happened in the changing room finally catching up to her? Is the only way out for me to cut open my stomach and kill myself now?

We left the mall, and after being jostled around during our bus ride home, I couldn’t find the right timing to apologize, so we just silently hopped on the train that was headed towards Tsutsukakushi’s place. All that was left was for me to help carry what we had bought up to the entrance of her home. Of course, I had no other goal in mind, and those were my honest feelings.

However, I was foolish. I had forgotten that this kind of logic would not work against the true enemy: The King.

At the final stop of the bus, we made our way to the residential district, fairly close to the hill with the cedar tree on it. To our left were apartment buildings, to our right was a stone wall that stretched on endlessly. After walking along this wall for a while, we found a large gate in it with a roof above it. In other words, this was the entrance to the Tsutsukakushi Family’s home. It looked luxurious, like the residence of a feudal lord. Standing tall right in front of said gate was the King, with her beautiful black hair tied up behind her.

“So you were on another date with Tsukiko. How active.” She glared at me with a gaze so intense that it was worthy of being called an Evil Eye.

She had probably been expecting me here. I don’t know how long she had stood there, but the blouse to her uniform was drenched in sweat. It was quite erotic, I had to admit. Summer is the best time of the year. Then again, this wasn’t the time to be trying to escape from reality.

“I-It wasn’t a date; we were just out shopping today. What were you doing here, club president?”

“Silence. You don’t have the right to address me in that way,” She returned a stern, aggressive tone of voice.

I felt like I saw the flames of hell burning underneath her on the asphalt. Apparently, the Steel King was worked up by something.

“What are you angry about, Nee-san?” Tsutsukakushi carefully tilted her head like a cat.

Well done. Good question. That’s what I want to know, myself. There are so many things that I want to ask here that I’m lost.

“This is a problem between me and that man. You go ahead and go inside, Tsukiko.”

“Wha—?”

She grabbed my arm, scattering the contents of the plastic bag I had been carrying. She pushed me inside the gate, holding me in a double-arm lock. From outside, I could hear Tsutsukakushi’s voice. I couldn’t move an inch. I was taken not to the entrance, but to a wide courtyard that was decorated with white rubble. A bit further away was the main house, which had plants thriving in front of it. There were no eyewitnesses around. It was the perfect place to bury a corpse.

I’m seriously being kidnapped here. Still held by my collar by the Steel King, I spoke up.

“Wha… What are you doing?!”

“That’s what I want to ask. What were you planning on doing with Tsukiko?”

Her facial expression looked like a cross between a hyena and a demon. I felt fear on a greater level than I had felt at the game center. It all came rushing back to me. But I can’t… I definitely can’t run away. Even without considering how I left Azuki Azusa behind, I did regret running away quite a lot back then. I won’t run away this time!

“N-No, hold on, look at all this stuff I have here… Ah, I just dropped them, didn’t I?! I was just carrying her things, okay?! Aren’t you jumping to conclusions awfully quick here?!”

…But of course I couldn’t stop my voice from shaking.

“Even if you managed to deceive Tsukiko with your words, don’t think for one moment that it’ll also work on me. You even barged into her home. What a player you are. I can’t ignore the fact that you’re trying to cover up your attempted rape.”

“Your little sister isn’t that reckless! Your imagination is getting the better of you, Club President!”

“How many times do I have to tell you to not call me like that?!” The King roared loud enough to rend the heavens.

“Are you trying to deceive me by acting like your sibling?! How outrageous!”

“Eh?”

“I heard tell of it from my Kouhai Yokodera. I was made light of by some bastard I had never met before, and now he’s continuing to woo my foolish little sister! Do you think I would overlook all of this?!”

The stone lantern near me looked upside-down. The heavens above me had turned into earth, which meant that my field of view had been flipped entirely. On top of that, a sharp blow hit my right side. I see. I’ve been thrown through the air. I don’t even know what kind of technique she used there. It’s almost a waste that someone like her chose to focus on track-and-field.

“Prepare yourself, younger brother of Yokodera!”

She once again grabbed me by the collar, shoving her enraged face into mine. But isn’t she saying something kind of weird right now?

“…Younger brother?”

“Don’t feign ignorance. I heard everything from your older brother… Still when I look at you up close like this, you look almost identical to the other. It’s no wonder I mistook you for him. But I won’t be deceived anymore!”

“Eh… ehhhh?!”

How did things turn out this way? She actually believed that ridiculous lie of mine! I had learned so many times that lying wasn’t a good thing to rely on, and yet I went back to it the second I got my facade back… I really didn’t learn at all. If I manage to correct her here, she might forgive me. For example, I could say something like ‘The thing about me having a young brother was a joke, of course. Haha, you sure can be stupid at times, Club President!’

…Nope. I’ll be killed for sure. I’ll be tarred and feathered and burned in flaming acid. I can’t turn around here. I’m already past the point of no return.

“Indeed…Yes, I… I⁶ am the younger Yokodera brother.”

“I think that line can fit on your gravestone. Wonderful.”

“T-Time-out!”

I clung to the arm that had lifted me up into the air. I’m a moron. Going along with it was an even worse idea.

“I won’t wait. I’ll make you regret assaulting Tsukiko like this.”

“…Before that, why do you hate the idea of me… me going out with your little sister? I don’t think you have anything to do with any of this… yeah.”

“You think it’s not by business…?”

“Yes, you as the older sister have nothing to do with this!” My words filled with despair and a last attempt to cling to life made the King hesitate.

I could feel the strength in her arms lessening. I might just have made a breakthrough.

“What does it matter if she’s happy herself? Your little sister is a high school student now. What right do you have as her older sister to impose rules on her like that? I… I’m a younger brother, too, so I know! Your little sister must think that you’re sticking your nose into her business. You’re a bother! An annoyance! Why can’t you leave her alone? Can’t you hear the voice of her heart?” Sensing an opportunity I dug the knife even deeper into her wound.

The Steel King froze in place like she had been hit by the ice bucket challenge, but the person she hated was someone I had made up, anyway. Eventually, I was freed from her grasp. But just when I felt a rush of happiness at my victory, I heard a sound resembling that of firecrackers. And after that, a sound like sparks. I realized too late that this sound was coming from the person in front of me gritting her teeth. Oddly enough, this wasn’t caused by explosive anger, but rather melancholic surprise. Slowly, the Steel King opened her mouth.

“I have a reason to meddle with Tsukiko.”

“…Eh?”

“You just said that it doesn’t have anything to do with me. How many times do you think I’ve prayed for that?”

As if she had opened a door to her heart that was sealed before.

“I want to cut my bond with my sister.”

She spit it out.

“W-What…?”

“She starts crying easily. She’s weak and fragile. She laughs easily, always acting carefree and rash. She panics easily. She’s as naive as you can get. She’s restless. She’s uncertain. She can be unreliable. She’s the exact opposite of me, from head to toe. I can’t accept the fact that I’m related by blood to such a little sister. Thus, I can’t accept that she would choose a man. That’s my reason to get in her way.”

I was bewildered. With open arguments, she was denying the existence of Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko entirely. The surroundings returned to an odd silence. Quite some time had passed since I was dragged inside the gate. No matter how big this residence was, it wouldn’t take that much time to enter through another gate. The fact that there was no sound to be heard supported my assumption that someone was listening in on us from the shadows.

The Steel King had always been feared as an absolute ruler, and yet a certain someone was hoping to make up with her. What would this little sister feel after hearing these words from her older sister?

“…You. What do you think you’re doing?”

Subconsciously, I returned the grip on Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi’s collar. I came back to my senses. Woah, it’s her soft and fluffy marshmallow-like breasts, I thought for a second, but I erased the personality that said so inside my head. Once in a while, even he has to read the mood.

“What did you just say? About Tsutsukakushi?”

“Hm?”

“That she cries easily? That she laughs easily? That she panics easily? Are you still saying that?!”

As of late, Tsutsukakushi hadn’t shown any of that. How could she? This idiot right in front of me wasn’t paying attention to anything. Even though they live together. Even though she’s Tsutsukakushi’s precious older sister. Even though they’ve been so close before. This is incredibly frustrating.

“So it’s true that you’ve been ignoring Tsutsukakushi. You really have no idea what kind of situation Tsutsukakushi is in right now! Stop joking around, you moron!”

“…Moron? You called me a moron? Again?!”

“I’m calling you a moron because you’re a moron, you moron!”

“Three times now! The one calling others a moron is the moron! Wait, no, you fool!” The Steel King’s teeth were clacking together like a tambourine. But compared to the concert orchestra playing inside the blood of my entire body, this was nothing.

“Tsutsukakushi stopped laughing because of the Stony Cat, you know! Tsutsukakushi prayed to the cat statue for your sake, and yet, even though you’re the cause of all of this, you simply ‘Want to cut your ties as siblings, since she gets in the way’? What other word is there to call you besides a moron?!”

“Don’t talk like that towards… Hm?” The Steel King brought her fist three millimeters from the tip of my nose, only for her movement to stop entirely.

“You said that she prayed for my sake? Are you saying that about the cat statue?”

“Of course it is! Tsutsukakushi became unable to express her feelings! That cute girl is now forced to live in an unnatural, forced state of having no expressions on her face!”

“…This is the second time I’ve heard of this. The Stony Cat. The rumours have been going around.”

The second time, you say? That was me both times! But saying that right now would make things complicated, so I’ll keep that thought to myself. I still had enough reason to decide that. Until I heard the following words, that is.

“But even I am aware of the recent change in Tsukiko. And that isn’t the fault of the cat statue.” The Steel King shrugged her shoulders. “If you’re trying to plan something, just give up. The cat statue is unrelated to this. Tsukiko lost her expressions naturally through the passage of time. That’s what it means to become an adult. Tsukiko couldn’t stay the way she used to be. Everyone experiences this. You can think of this as a rite of passage to adulthood.”

“What are you talking about…?”

“That’s right. I guess I’ll go destroy that cat statue, then. That way, the gossip will stop spreading, and the change in Tsukiko will truly be a problem of her own. Indeed, it’s a great plan. That way I’ll be able to leave the family without regret and work towards my own future. Good grief, this little sister of mine can be so foolish—”

It felt like I was cutting through the air. My fist was aimed directly at the Steel King. I just couldn’t forgive her. Not for anybody else’s sake, but for my own. I just had to defeat the King. Even with my anger, she was still made of steel. A normal pervert like me would have no hope of winning against her. I was aware of that. The initial punch was countered immediately at lightning speed, I was sent flying by an uppercut to the chin, and that was it.

The Steel King narrowed her eyes. Her anger from before had dissipated into nothing but bitterness. With that sight as my last, everything turned black.

*

“—Ouch!!!”

When I jolted upright, sharp pain ran through my body. Almost as if a bulldozer had run over the nerves in my brain.

“You have to take it slow.”

Someone tapped me on the shoulder, pushing me back to my previous position. A soft pillow hit the back of my head. Tsutsukakushi entered my line of sight as she peeked down at me. Even though she was right there, I couldn’t make her face out entirely because of the light. Like a planetarium, orange light shone down from the skylight above.

“This is…?”

The room I was in felt awfully open. My bare legs were touching the chilly floor. I could even see an old-fashioned refrigerator and tableware shelf behind Tsutsukakushi.

“This is our kitchen. I carried you here.”

“…Huh? Why here of all places?”

“Nee-san wouldn’t set foot in here. That makes this the safest place for you to stay.”

“…So the King can’t cook, huh?”

The sink was lower than the one in my own house, making it seem like the layout of the kitchen had been matched to the master of it. The moment I tried to imagine the Steel King carefully cooking in this small kitchen, that image quickly changed into one of her brandishing her fist.

I see. So I lost, huh? I didn’t feel any pain in my body. Just a ferocious sort of resistance vibrated inside my head. Apparently, the Steel King had thrown me outside the gate and had left me there to rot. Tsutsukakushi came by and picked up this garbage, carrying me around the wall and inside the back entrance connecting to this kitchen. I guess my life had been in actual danger for a bit there.

“You were extremely heavy, Senpai,” Tsutsukakushi pointed out, picking up the wet towel that fallen down and resting it against my cheek.

“…Thanks.”

Basically, we’re playing doctor now, and I’m the patient. The injury this time around was more dangerous than the one before when I stayed in the school infirmary, which explains why she’s this much closer to me. When I looked over to her side, I could even see the stitching of her blouse. From this point of view, it almost looks like she’s carrying my head—Wait.

“Isn’t this a lap pillow?!”

“I’m sorry. I had no blanket or pillow here, so I just…”

“No no no, on the contrary, I’m really happy!”

I thought it was a soft pillow supporting my head, but in reality, I was tasting Tsutsukakushi’s thighs. They gave off a comfortable warmth, as they helped me calm down, but also made me feel a bit aroused. Isn’t this the best bed ever? If my head didn’t hurt, I’d rub it all over the place.

“It seems like your head is back to normal, Senpai.”

“Ah, well…”

“You should be fine now. I was really worried.” Tsutsukakushi let out a sigh.

She gently ran her fingers through my hair. I wondered what kind of face she was making.

“…Since you came to my rescue, you must have seen what happened, right?”

“…That’s right. I don’t think fighting is good.”

“We weren’t fighting. There’s no way I could call that a fight, nor a quarrel. That was a rebellion against the evil rule of oppression. Nothing less.”

I couldn’t tell what Tsutsukakushi’s face looked like right now. I could only see the sharp line of her chin. I knew that she wasn’t smiling. But what kind of actual expression would she have? The girl who had heard her one and only older sister say such things.

“…You don’t have to worry about me. I’ve known that this has been the case for a long time.”

As if she could read my thoughts before I could voice them, Tsutsukakushi spoke in an indifferent way. But that’s not important, is it?

“Nee-san might have a short temper, but she easily forgets about things, and she often gets the wrong idea. I’m sure she’ll grow out of this in a bit.” Tsutsukakushi said nonchalantly.

That’s not important right now, is it?

“I’m used to sitting like this. Though it’s my first time giving a lap pillow like this. Take a good rest. Once you feel better, I’ll call a taxi for you.”

“Again, that’s not important right now!”

“Senpai, you shouldn’t get up just yet—”

“Who cares about me?! The Steel King said that she’d go destroy that cat statue! If she does that, your facial expressions and your ability to express your feelings will stay lost forever! Be more angry! Why won’t you get angry at this?!”

I forcefully shook off her hands that tried to restrain me and pushed myself upright. My head felt like it was about to implode from the inside, and my blood was pounding through it furiously, but I couldn’t tell if it was from anger or pain.

“…Of course I’m angry.”

“Your face sure doesn’t look like it.”

“Of course it doesn’t. I lost my expressions and all that. You just can’t tell.”

“I can! You aren’t angry in the slightest!”

The two of us sat on the floor, facing each other. It’s been a while since we looked at each other like this. We were at a distance close enough that I could count every hair of her eyebrows. Tsutsukakushi’s eyes were like mirrors that reflected my face. They were as large as a cat’s, and I could feel them pulling me in. The God in the heavens above set it up so I could guess her feelings even though she wore no expression on her face.

“See, you’ve totally given up already! You have no backbone at all! Where did your will to act go?! Was the time you dragged me to the love hotel all just a lie?! A-Are you actually that much of a proactive girl?”

“…Shut up. Excuse me. Let me correct that.” Tsutsukakushi opened her small hand, stopping me.

Although she still had no expression on her face, I could tell that she was angry.

“I thought through all of this. In the end, that cat statue belongs to Nee-san. If she wants to destroy it, then I can’t stop her. Just my memories alone are enough. And even if she destroys it, that wouldn’t be a problem at all.”

More than anger, in the depths of her big eyes another emotion was about to burst forth.

“—I never needed my expressions in the first place.”

As if trying to ignore her emotions, Tsutsukakushi closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“If I don’t ‘become an adult’, then Nee-san will continue to hate me more and more. But if I stay like this, without my expressions, she might come to like me again.”

“What are you talking about? That’s unnatural, no matter how you look at it!” I slammed my hand against the floor.

Though I was angry first and foremost, I felt the urge to burst out laughing. Tsutsukakushi loved telling jokes. Eventually she’ll admit that this is all a joke. Right? Because if not—then Tsutsukakushi’s thoughts are too sad.

“You wanted to hide your true feelings by using your facade, right? What difference is there with me trying to hide mine?” She asked.

“It’s totally different! That’s not the problem here! Why won’t you get it! I’ll never accept you trying to hide your expressions for your Onee-san! You said yourself that not being able to show your honest feelings is inconvenient, didn’t you?!”

“Senpai is able to understand my feelings, so it’s perfectly fine.”

“What use is it if only I can tell?! This problem isn’t about me!”

“It is about you, Senpai,” Instead of shouting like me, Tsutsukakushi slammed her hand on the ground.

The floor shook even more than it had when I did it. The tableware creaked, and a wooden spoon fell down from the sink.

“…It’s my problem? How?” I was left confused, completely forgetting what I was trying to say.

Tsutsukakushi seemed to return to her senses. She looked like she regretted what she had said, but she didn’t try to take it back. Instead, she just looked at me.

“Then let me ask you directly. What are you to me, Senpai?”

“What…? What do you mean?”

“What kind of relationship do we have, Senpai?”

Her calm voice, devoid of any intonation, made her sound like a gambler with a poker face. But, unlike actual poker, her ace in the hole would destroy this castle we have that’s built on sand.

“…We’re partners who are working together to get back our facial expressions and facade.”

That kind of stock answer wasn’t any good. It only would accelerate the destruction of that place we have together. Even though I knew that, I still couldn’t put the correct answer into words. The pain, my brain cells, everything was swallowed up inside those entrancing eyes.

“That’s right. We’re just partners. We’re only in this because of the cat statue. And once I get back my honest feelings, what happens after that? We’ll lose our reason to meet at school and go out during holidays together. I’m sure you’ll stop talking to me. Nee-san will still hate me, and I’ll just end up alone, right?”

“There’s no way that’ll happen! We can still come up with things to do after that… is what every game protagonist would say. Once the opening events are finished, the main game starts!”

“…I’ll do whatever it takes to stay together with Senpai. I’m fine with doing whatever. Even today when I was trying on that swimsuit, I felt so embarrassed that I would have rather bit my tongue and died.”

“Eh…”

“That was a joke. I was just so embarrassed when you saw me that I felt like dying.”

“Don’t joke around there! Say literally anything else! I don’t want you to die like that!”

I really can’t tell if I should be angry or laugh right now. As a compromise, I just postrated myself.

“…But, even if I’m the only one who wants to spend time together, that’s not enough.”

“Why are you suddenly acting like this? I’ll come meet you even if we don’t have any business together. I’ll still talk to you! We can stay together that way.”

“That’s a lie,” Tsutsukakushi shook her head.

She picked up the spoon that had fallen to the ground and put it on the ground between us, as if to symbolize a line between us. What had been in the depths of her eyes suddenly withdrew even deeper, leaving me unable to pull it out.

“Because—you have Azuki-san, Senpai.”

“Huh? …W-Why would you bring up Azuki Azusa now? She’s a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Right now, maybe. But the future might change that. It’s not something we can just anticipate. Senpai and Azuki-san were actually a pretty good match. So much so that I regret giving you a push up the hill a while ago,” Tsutsukakushi muttered in a quiet voice filled with self-deprecation.

“There’s no doubt that if I were to get back my facial expressions, Nee-san would continue to hate me. If that happens, I don’t even know if Senpai could stay here. If you do away with the whole facial expressions and facade thing, there’s nothing keeping us together. We’re not even in the same school year, so how close can we be? Senpai, tell me. If we take away this alliance that we have—”

What are you to me?

For the last part, her lips moved as if she were speaking, but she made no sound. Even so, that image alone made my eardrums shake, and the sound made it to my brain. The spoon drew an invisible line. Sitting on the other side was an android-like girl with her vocalisation system destroyed, looking at me devoid of expression. She sat on the ground of her destroyed world, hurt, defeated, and waiting for a helping hand from her only ally.

I—couldn’t cross that line.

Instead, I turned my back towards her, leaving the small kitchen behind me. I couldn’t stop. She didn’t stop me. By the time I left the place, I felt like I heard a faint sigh behind me.

*

When I came back school and told her the circumstances of what happened..

“…You’re the worst!” Azuki Azusa roared in anger.

The door to the student council room shook ever so slightly at this outburst of sound. Luckily, the hallway was silent this twilit evening, and the paper that read ‘No Pervert Beyond this Point’ had been ripped to pieces.

“Why didn’t you say anything?! Why did you come here?! What were you thinking?!”

“Um… Well, how many supplementary printouts do you have left?”

“A lot! Counting them would be as useless as trying to count the eggs of an ocean sunfish! But get your own stuff done before coming over here to visit me, you Alba Troglodyte birdbrain! There are things you need to prioritize out there!”

Rather than rage from the fairy of a small flower, it was more like she was a small puppy barking at me. If there weren’t a big table between us filled to the brim with printouts, she might have already leaped at me.

“Didn’t you think of anything at all to say after Tsutsukakushi-san said that?!”

“Of course I did. I thought of many things.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?!”

“Even if I said it out loud, Tsutsukakushi probably wouldn’t believe me. What she fundamentally needs isn’t actually something that I can say.”

Just how desperately did I want to embrace her quivering shoulders? But I can’t do that. It would be the same as admitting that she doesn’t need her facial expressions or any ability to express her emotions. Who was it that forced her to say that? Who forced her to have those gruesome thoughts? In the end, before I don’t take down the real enemy that caused this, nothing will be taken care of.

“Azuki Azusa. Tell me, what is Tsutsukakushi to you?”

The rampaging puppy averted her gaze slightly.

“Why are you asking me that out of the blue? …A Kouhai? No… a friend… Maybe a rival?”

“Rival? Since when?”

“T-That’s not important right now! Take care of Tsutsukakushi-san first!”

A rival for what, I wonder? Did some cat vs dog war break out while I wasn’t watching? I’d love to see that, actually. Anyway, it seems like their reservations about each other have been cleared up entirely. I heard from Tsutsukakushi that they managed to make up. The day I got my facade back, Azuki Azusa apparently called her, thanking her for always coming to visit. She made it sound like she thought Azuki Azusa was her real older sister. As for me, I was just glad that they didn’t hate each other. That being said, I didn’t expect Azuki Azusa to get this angry for Tsutsukakushi’s sake. What a wonderful sight.

“Then there’s something I want to ask of you.”

Azuki Azusa was the only person present in the student council room. The student council president had trusted this noble lady, and had given Azuki Azusa the key to the room. I looked over at a file cabinet standing next to the wall. In there were all sorts of files, such as student grades, guidance counseling, as well as any other important information. The key needed to open this cabinet was on the very keyring that Azuki Azusa held.

“I need this in order to defeat the Steel King.”

“…You want to open the shelf and take a look?”

“Yeah. I know it might be a bad thing to do, but according to Oscar Wilde, ‘Conscience and cowardice are really the same things’…”

When I quoted my favorite author, Azuki Azusa snorted in arrogance.

“Who cares about words written by someone else? I want to hear your own words.”

Relying only on her pride, using the world of manga to hide her true self, the girl who had relied only on her facade was nowhere to be found anymore. Her beautiful fairy-like eyes were definitely different from the eyes of Tsutsukakushi, which would absorb all light. She emitted light herself, like a flashlight in darkness, and she looked at me with eyes as beautiful as gemstones. I felt like I needed to respond with my honest feelings, as well.

“…I treasure Tsutsukakushi more than anything else.”

I was always quick to lie, even blaming the gods in heaven if necessary. I always relied on what I said at the time. Whether I had a facade or not, I would never say what I was really thinking. But no matter how much I hated myself, I couldn’t change. Just once, though, if it’s for a girl I care about deeply, showing my true feelings should be fine.

“I want to save Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko no matter what. I can only do that with your help. So please save me. I’m begging you.”

“…Mm. Well said.” Azuki Azusa nodded in a satisfied manner.

She let out a lonely smile after that, though I didn’t know why.

*

Have you ever heard of the movie ‘High Noon⁷’? Personally, I’ve never seen the movie itself. But the treasured goods which Ponta sold me contained an age-restricted video with that title. So I know the general outline of the story.

The following day at exactly 12am. Feeling like a sheriff of justice, I leaned my back against the cedar tree. I had no allies to speak of, only my fists and faith as weapons. Azuki Azusa tried to stop me, but as a man there are things I have to do no matter what. Ahh, that sounded really cool. Then again, the woman in the video who was cosplaying as a sheriff was assaulted by a gang that did this and that to her, but that’s a different story.

The sun was scorching hot, typical of the season, which really helped this feel like a Western drama. With the sun beating down on her, the bad guy approached the hill, perfectly on time.

“A letter of challenge. Aren’t you being romantic… or rather, this is kind of a tired trope. Have you said your prayers already?”

“That’s my line. Remember this sun, because this is the last time you’ll be able to see it.”

“I almost feel like praising you for being able to say such courageous words.”

As always, Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi was wearing her school uniform. Maybe it was simply the composure of a tyrannical king, but she walked up towards me with crossed arms. Every time she took a step, I could hear the innocent grass beneath her feet screaming in agony.

“Still, younger Yokodera brother, do you really think you can beat me? If so, it might be wise to reflect on that foolishness.”

“Your arrogance will be your undoing. It looks like the great King will meet her demise soon.”

“Hmph, at least you’re able to speak the part. In English, fools like you would be called… Hmm, it slipped my mind.”

Illuminated by the shining sun, we closed the distance between us. A breeze blew past the hill, which made the Steel King’s black hair wave softly. Her eyes, filled with arrogance, closed for a brief moment. She opened her eyes again slowly like this was some kind of manga.

“What is this…?! My cat statue is completely different?!”

Coming to my side, she glared at the cat statue, which had turned round like a giant steamed bun. Today, its face looked filled with rage. Baring its fangs like it could kill anything, it glared at us with narrowed eyes. Apparently, Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi had declared that she would destroy this cat statue, but she hadn’t even set foot on this hill for quite some time. She stood frozen in place as she stared at the object she had created long ago. Was it really that surprising to her? I personally think the cat statue as it is now has come a long way from how mediocre it used to look.

“It’s too late now. Now that you see the cat statue for what it is, you have to believe the rumors, right? So whatever wish I make to it, my wish will be granted.”

“W-What do you plan on wishing for?”

“I’ll simply ask it to take what I don’t need. And what I don’t need the most right now is—” I kneeled down to the ground.

If I really don’t think I need it, the cat statue will definitely take it from me. I turned towards it and made my wish.

“My shame! Embarrassment, restraint, I want all kinds of shyness to vanish from my heart!”

Right after I said these words, a strong wind slammed into me with a sound like a roaring waterfall. The cedar tree shuddered so much that even the trunk shook. Unable to take it, I fell over to my side, rolling over and over on the hill. The grass bit into my skin, and I felt painful and itchy all over, especially the area beneath my stomach. Urk… I feel like I’ll awaken to some weird sexual orientation… Wait?

“My underwear is—?!”

From within my pants, my underwear had disappeared into thin air. I see. The cat statue needed an offering. That makes sense. Underwear certainly works as a good symbol of shame. I wonder if my underwear has suddenly magically appeared in someone else’s closet. Please treat my shame well, okay?

Well, it’s summer, and it’s hot, so I guess losing my underwear doesn’t do me too much harm. It’ll be more convenient when I have to go to the bathroom, as well… Yep, I can definitely tell that my shame is gone.

I stood up again.

“Now I’m prepared! Now I can finally fight against you, King.”

“What? I’d love to know what that shout just now was about, but… What kind of battle is this, anyway? If this is about the exchange of blows a few days ago, then you were the first to…”

“That doesn’t matter right now! We only have one reason to fight!” I stepped forward confidently, lowered my waist, and finished my preparations.

I shouted as loud as I could, as if hoping that a certain someone would hear it.

“It’s a battle between you and me⁸, with Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko on the line!”

“How impudent…!”

“You’re the one who’s impudent! Siblings are supposed to be more lofty! Their relationship is supposed to be sublime! All the videos I own say that! Don’t call yourself an older sister if you want to throw away that connection! You don’t have the right to do so!”

“So you’ve lost your shame as well as your ability to think logically, I see. I suppose that you’re just asking to be reprimanded thoroughly at this point.” Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi formed a fist, ready to ram it against my body.

It was going to be a steel punch with nothing holding it back. Once she let it fire, it would tear right through the air where I stood. She’s definitely serious. But as long as her punches don’t hit me, I’ll be totally fine. Or so a lot of protagonists would say. Forgetting things is one of my strong points. That’s why I’m not scared when I think about last night.

“You don’t have any right to say that either. What is Tsukiko to you? I won’t be satisfied by any half-baked reason.”

It was the question I couldn’t answer before. But now, things are different. I don’t have any shame inside me anymore.

“That’s obvious. Tsukiko-chan is my precious—”

“Ohhh?”

“—Little sister! I will swear that right here, on this very hill!”

Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi froze in place.

“…Eh? What?”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with reason! Blood-related sister! Sister in law! I don’t even need her consent! That all has nothing to do with it! You’re not cut out to be her older sibling! I will defeat you, and I’ll become her true older brother!”

She can cook, can draw cute pictures, she’s good at massaging, she cries easily, she gets embarrassed, she sulks, she’s just your average young girl. This girl was afraid of being separated from her older sister, so she threw away her facial expressions and her ability to express her feelings for her foolish older sister! There’s no way I could sit back and watch!

“I’ll become her older brother, and I’ll always stay by her side. I’ll protect her from the evil king and the cat statue. And then, one day, I’ll give her back her facial expressions!”

“W-Why would you go that far…?”

“Because I love Tsukiko-chan!”

Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi’s mouth half-opened in shock. She looked like she had been slapped across the face. She remembered that she was had been planning on punching me, but all the strength left her fist, and the punch ended up as weak as a child’s.

“…I’m shocked that you can say something as embarrassing as that…”

“The moment you said that, it was already your loss. True love doesn’t have any shame! I love Tsukiko-chan like any older brother would! Can you really say that, Steel King?”

“Don’t give me a weird nickname! What does steel have anything to do with this?!”

The speed of her punches suddenly increased. They came intermittently, which showed just how angry Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi was. I guess the Steel King didn’t know her own nickname. Even the first-year students found out about it a month after they started attending the school. Does she actually have any friends?

I guess I really am at a disadvantage in physical battles. Instead of trying to fight back, I started dashing around the hill, with the track-and-field club president right after me. It was a rematch for the battle of the throne right there. Had I known it would boil down to this, I would have put on my running shoes.

“And I have even more memories with Tsukiko-chan than you do! I pushed her down, she pushed me down, we went to a love hotel, and I even saw her buck naked!”

“—Ohhh?”

She grabbed me after three seconds. Wow, her hair is actually standing on end right now. She seems really furious this time. But even if you lift me by my hair, I don’t think I can manage to have the same hairstyle as you. So could you not? It hurts.

“What kind of older brother would act like this? How filthy. You will pay with your life for the sins of having hurt Tsukiko. First, close your eyes. It’ll take a few hours for me to carefully squash you.”

“Y-You’re using violence because you can’t win?! That’s not fair! Tyranny!”

While I tried to rebel, Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi gave me cold, unwelcoming eyes.

“…Wasn’t this supposed to be a battle? And I don’t remember ever saying that I couldn’t win. This is all just in your head. It’s absurd to call those ‘precious memories.’ True precious memories are things you can reminisce about with nostalgia.”

“So you’re saying you have such memories?”

“Don’t underestimate the time we’ve spent together. There was a time when I counted all her moles in the bath.”

“W-What?!”

“She has one mole in a weird place, which made me laugh. I also cleaned her sheets after she wet herself. From grade school all the way through high school, that habit of hers never went away, so I had to do it at least once a week. It was quite hard to find a reason to keep doing it.”

What immense power! It would destroy my counterattack if I had one! I’m so jealous! When she heard me click my tongue in response, Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi clearly felt more confident than before. With a reminiscent look, she gazed over at the cat statue. It was an awfully soft gaze, something I would have never expected to see.

“There are so many memories. We even fought over a steamed bun before. Since she can be quite the glutton, I would have to share my portion with her fairly often. It ended up in a big fight. That was when I made the cat statue. Tsukiko praised me, saying that it was a masterpiece, got happy, and said that she wanted to make up…” Her voice was filled with peace.

Though I can tell there’s a bit of inconsistency between what she’s saying and what her little sister said, I’ll ignore it for now. She’s ever-so-slightly opened the lid to her treasure box, and is now boasting in confidence. But there’s something strange.

“That’s weird, King. From the way you make it sound, you actually like your little sister quite a lot.”

“Of course I do! There’s no way you could ever love her more than I do! If you want to spew nonsense like that, do it in hell!” Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi started proudly roaring into my face. “I love my cute Tsukiko more than anybody!”

“—Ahh, is that so?”

A voice like a maid who happened to spot someone doing something questionable reached both of our ears. Even though I had asked her to keep quiet and watch silently, she chose this time to speak up.

“Th-This voice is…!”

The King’s facial color changed drastically, and she let go of my hair. Welcome back, my beloved hair roots. There, from the shadows of the cat statue, the onlooker I had planted finally appeared.

“…There are many things I would like to say. But for starters, could the two of you apologize to me? Either that or pull out your tongues.” Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko’s shoulders were shaking.

Thus, the fight came to an end, and the two participants were in front of the cat statue, prostrating themselves.

“Senpai told me that he had something important to talk about, so I listened carefully. And what was that about? Love, bed wet—moles, and all that. I never knew it was possible to have to suffer such humiliation. I request self-examination, reflection, and soul-searching.” While lecturing us furiously with no expression on her face, Tsutsukakushi circled around us.

She looked like the moon circling around the earth. Though the relationship was entirely reversed when it came to the power she wielded over us.

“…I didn’t do anything weird. The King just blurted out all that stuff.”

“…I was set up by the younger Yokodera brother. I fought with all my might, but this battle was rigged.”

Or so proclaimed the older sister (provisional) and older brother (self-proclaimed) as they jabbed their elbows at each other. ‘What a sight, huh, King?’ ‘Keep quiet, even though you’re a man.’ ‘Shut up, idiot.’ ‘You are the idiot, fool.’ ‘What do you want, moron?’ ‘You want a fight, punk? ‘

While another quarrel was in the middle of brewing, Tsutsukakushi slapped us both on the shoulders.

“No fighting. Don’t try pinning the blame on each other.”

“…I’m sorry.”

A Pavlov’s Dogs⁹ effect activated, and the Steel King and I both apologized simultaneously. What an ending to our battle. The King must have felt the same way. She eyed me with a careful glare.

“For crying out loud… I knew Senpai was like that, but I would think that Nee-san would have grown up more.” Tsutsukakushi sighed.

What do you mean by that? Though I didn’t know exactly what she was referring to, I realized something even more important. That sigh just now wasn’t because she was fed up. On the contrary, she seemed to be relieved. Why? Well, that much was obvious.

“…By the way, Nee-san. Was what you said just now true?”

“What are you talking about? I have to go to the track-and-field club now. Let’s call it a day here.”

“Nee-san. I heard you say that you like me.”

“Hm? Hmmm? Mmmmmmm? Could you maybe direct any private questions through the agency?”

“Was. That. True?”

The little sister closed in on her older sister, giving her no chance to run. Oooh, what a pleasant scene. I guess it was just a matter of time before these sisters would have made up.

“…Wait! Don’t let yourself be deceived, Tsukiko-chan!”

“Senpai. I told you before not to call me tha—”

“Did you forget how many times she said she wanted to cut ties with you?! Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi is actually an incarnation of evil disguised as your older sister!”

I finally returned to my senses. There’s no way I’d just accept the bad end once they made up like this. I still have one card left to play.

“Let me tell you about it, Tsukiko-chan. Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi is inhumane! She’s hiding a shocking truth!”

“So you intend on pressing that even further… And what kind of truth are you talking about?”

“The thing is… for her university entrance exams, the King is actually trying to get accepted to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology!”

With Azuki Azusa’s help back at school, I had found the documents where she had written her future goals. Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi’s first choice was a university across the ocean. A super-elite university that has produced countless UN Secretary Generals and Nobel prize winners, located in America’s state of Massachusetts.

“Eh…” Tsutsukakushi was at a loss for words.

I had the exact same reaction at first. So did the teacher who was responsible for her. When I looked at the teacher’s comments on the paper, it only said ‘Idiot’.

“She’s planning to throw away her young little sister, leaving her behind in solitude at home by herself! Isn’t that absurd?! This is all the proof that you need that Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi is only pretending to be an older sister!”

“…That’s not the problem. I’m already in high school. I’m not helpless at all. I can live on my own just fine. You’re acting a bit irrational right now, Senpai.”

“Did you hear that, Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi? The words of your admirable little sister!”

“I’d love it if you would listen to me, Senpai.”

“And yet you just want to cut ties with her?!”

Our coordination as we laid the blame on the fake older sister was perfect. Tsutsukakushi sighed as she abandoned me, and instead looked over at her older sister. Wait, why am I the one getting abandoned?

“Nee-san, why would you take the entrance exam for that university? What were you aiming for?”

“…I like track-and-field. The Massachusetts Institute of Technology specializes in scientific health. I can’t do away with the rules and logic I learned at the track-and-field club. Instead I’ll scientifically verify them.”

“But there’s no need to go all the way over to America. You can’t even write their alphabet.”

“Th-That is incorrect. I bought a sleep-leaning pillow online, so I’ll be able to speak fluently very soon. I’m adding more and more English to my daily conversations, and soon I’ll be able to be a tag-team hero duo with Spaidaman!”

“You shouldn’t rely on scam like that. Look at reality.”

When her little sister warned her of that, the Steel King showed a rare sour look on her face. She was like a pharaoh whose grave had been opened and robbed. She didn’t even bother to glare at me anymore. She just stared off into space at some point in front of her. Now we only needed one last push.

“You’re still using your facade right now, aren’t you, King? There is still something else you have left to say, right?”

“Urk… How did you know?”

“I know because I too suffered because I had a facade that prevented me from stating my true feelings. Let it all out, okay? Some people can’t move forward even if they can put it in vague words. That was Tsukiko-chan’s line, but I agree. Reveal everything.”

In the end, I felt like someone else’s words held more value than mine. The King looked like she was preparing herself, and she narrowed her eyes. That’s right, say it. Say that you want to live away from your little sister. That you’re not worthy of being her older sister.

“My honest feelings, huh… I want to cut ties with my foolish little sister—that much is the truth.”

“Aren’t you an awful older sister. What else?”

“…And in the state of Massachusetts, they allow same-sex marriage…”

“You really looked into it a lot… Hmm? Same-sex… Huh?”

“I want to…” Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi took a deep breath and started screaming like a drunkard. “I want to marry Tsukiko! I want to live in the state of Massachusetts, marry Tsukiko once we lose our connection as siblings, and live together forever in happiness!”

What is she talking about? The King completely ignored our confusion, and leapt at her little sister like a spring. She started rubbing her head in joy. Ignoring the fact that her little sister was resisting, she treated her like a tsundere cat.

“Think about it! We’ve always been so close ever since we were young! At all times, in all places, those who are close when they are young grow up to get married, and live happily ever after! Isn’t that just a rule of nature?”

“No, King… that argument only works if you’re a boy and a girl…”

“That’s right! With the laws today in Japan, I can’t get legally married to Tsukiko! Why is the choice of my marriage partner so restricted? Where are our civil rights?!”

“I think the right to marry your little sister isn’t exactly a ‘civil right’.”

“Foolish! The fool who created the concept of a ‘little sister’ should be punished by death!”

I’m pretty sure this concept has been rooted pretty deeply in human culture for around tens of thousands of years. I guess I’ll just give up here. When I looked over at Tsutsukakushi, she was making a sort of ‘Senpai, don’t abandon me’ expression.

“My foolish little sister is the greatest force in this entire world! No matter how many times I fulfilled my daily routine of sneaking out of my room at 2am and moving to Tsukiko’s room to snuggle up to her, I still cannot fulfill that promise we made long ago if we stay in this country!”

“…Nee-san, I will gladly hear you out later concerning your daily routine and the possible reason why my cheeks have been so sore every morning. But what promise are you referring to?”

“You don’t have to hide it anymore! Did we not swear to this very cat statue right after we made up that we could always be together? That we would stay together in sickness and in health? You must have been experiencing the wedding blues, right?”

Wedding blues. The phenomenon a lot of women go through right before their wedding, where they feel worried and anxious. ‘Is that so, Tsutsukakushi? Congratulations! I’ll take care of the ceremony.’ ‘Don’t run away from reality, Senpai.’

Tsutsukakushi and I were communicating through eye contact. Our hearts couldn’t have been more connected right now. But oddly enough, I wasn’t too happy about that.

“It’s going to be Tsukiko’s birthday really soon. She’ll finally be 16 years old, which is an age where she can get married! Marriage blues always happens right before marriage. That’s why I pretended like we were fighting. I forced myself to endure through those hellish days. That’s one of the reasons why you stopped smiling, right? But it’s time to end this facade. Once we go to Massawhatsit, we can get married! I’ll study lots and lots and make it into the Chuchu University!”

“Where do I even begin… First of all, even if we stop being siblings, we’re still related by blood, so we can’t get married. Right, Senpai? Though I don’t think that’s the main problem here.” Tsutsukakushi glanced over at me.

Please don’t act like it’s my turn to speak!

“W-What did you say…? That would mean that my grand plan was all for nothing! Then I won’t go to university anymore. Studying is really difficult, after all! I’ll live together with Tsukiko for the rest of my life instead!”

“Those two things are unrelated. We can stay on close terms for the rest of our lives, but at least study properly.”

“You’re really so kind, Tsukiko. I guess I’ll have to change the laws so that we’re allowed to marry… Hmmm? Wait, does this mean that you knew from the start that we couldn’t get married, my cute and wise Tsukiko?”

“I am fairly certain that you are the only person in this world who thought that we could get married, Nee-san.”

“Th-Then why did you catch the marriage blues?! Don’t tell me that you were planning on getting married to the younger Yokodera brother?! No good! No good at all! I definitely won’t allow it! If you really plan on marrying this man, I will burn down all marriage halls, temples, shrines, priests, and marriage counsellors!”

Ruffling her little sister’s hair, the King took up a lament of rage. If she didn’t have a facial expression like a judging devil with the corners of her eyes turned upwards, I might actually think that she’s a completely different person. Is this her true character? She’s actually this much of a child, huh? And when she called me a pervert, I earned the nickname ‘Perverted Prince,’ but isn’t she much more of a pervert? Why is life so cruel this way?

“Senpai and Nee-san, neither of you ever listen to other people. I told you there was no marriage blues. I really had my expressions taken by the cat statue.” She gave the King’s head a karate chop.

When she said this, I thought we were back on track, but not quite.

“I see. Thank goodness. Wait, not that! Cat statue, you were created by me, so what’s your deal?! Return Tsukiko’s expressions at once! If not, I’ll never forgive you! I’ll carve into your body right now how much I treasure Tsukiko!”

Now Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi was filled with rage, this time towards the cat statue.

Ha ha ha. You really do always say whatever you want. I could only muster half a smile out of exhaustion.

—That’s when the Stony Cat started laughing.

It’s not like the cat statue’s expression changed like a normal human being’s. Instead, it started laughing with a shrill voice. Almost as if it had waited for Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi to say that, as if her honest feelings were the trigger. While shedding tears with an expression that looked joyful, the wooden body of the cat fell over, twisting and turning. The laughter roared through the air until it eventually diminished, returning at long last to silence. Its round steamed-bun-shaped face went back to normal, and all expression on its face vanished as well.

It was a miraculous transformation. All malice was gone from the Steel King, and she finally calmed down. The Stony Cat had been created as a means for the two Tsutsukakushi sisters to make up.

If strong feelings are put into an object, the object would eventually start holding a will of its own. This statue most likely wanted to express its own emotions.

—That’s what I started thinking a lot later.

At the time, I put on airs like everything was under control, and I remained seated on the ground. But I feel like you could praise me a bit here, because I immediately realized what Tsutsukakushi was about to do. When the cat statue grew smaller again, a bit of space opened up on the ground. And on the ground there was—

“Nee-san. We might not be able to get married, but how about eating a steamed bun like we did before?”

Picking up the cold steamed bun, Tsukiko sighed and held it out. The Steel King glanced between her little sister and the steamed bun several times.

“You want to make up…?”

“You are my one and only older sister. I was never angry to begin with.”

“I-I see!”

“But there are a lot of things I’d like you to work on, Nee-san. You never think through your actions all the way. That’s why other people misunderstand you and think you’re made out of steel as you bulldoze your willpower straight over them. I hear the track-and-field club fears you, as well. I guess I can’t help it. I’ll help improve your image.”

I can’t help it, so I’ll help you. I feel like I’ve heard that phrase before. Back when we had made our agreement to take back our facial expressions and facade. After that, she helped me to get back my facade.That’s how she always was. Prioritizing others over herself.

“Nee-san, you should start with throwing away your weird thought process and facade, and instead speak openly with your honest feelings. So please eat this steamed bun and get some strength. Here.”

“Hm? I don’t really get it, but you must have grown a lot if you’re letting me eat the entire steamed bun, Tsukiko.”

The Steel King accepted it lightheartedly, showing that she didn’t understand at all. This wasn’t just any steamed bun. It was the one that had been used as an offering. Tsukiko managed to get back the item that held her facial expressions and her ability to express her feelings. She had finally won them back. If she handed them over to someone else, she would lose her smile for good.

Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi was feared for her nickname ‘the Steel King.’ In reality, she’s a bit crazy in some respects, but she’s not much more than your average siscon. The fact that she only has an angry expression on her face all the time is definitely a problem. If she were able to laugh and cry like her younger sister, she’d probably be much more popular. But why would Tsutsukakushi’s expressions have to be sacrificed for that?

“W-Wait a second, Tsukiko-chan! Giving someone else your food isn’t like you at all!”

“How rude,” Tsutsukakushi muttered with her usual lack of expression.

She was cute. So cute that I felt like crying. If she showed me her smile, she would have been even more cute. I knew that, no matter what I said, it wouldn’t work. But, since my shame was still gone, my mouth could still move.

“You don’t have to go this far for the King… If you want siblings, then I’ll become your older brother.”

Tsutsukakushi slightly cast her face downward as she gave it a bit of thought.

“…I like Onee-san after all. Also, Senpai really doesn’t seem like an older brother. I’m sorry.” She bluntly shook her head.

“Well said! I’m Tsukiko’s righteous older sister! Don’t ever call her ‘Tsukiko-chan’ again!”

The Steel King clearly had no idea what we were talking about, but she was still running her mouth. Her expression was one I had never seen before—She looked like a carefree brat, grinning from ear to ear. It felt like we had gone back in time, and she had grown younger. The heck is this?

The steamed bun was gone from Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi’s hand. I see… That explains why the King had suddenly started looking around 20% kinder than before. But that wasn’t the smile I wanted to see! Also, I remembered that I still didn’t have my underwear. I let out a loud sneeze.

Unable to become Tsukiko’s older brother, unable to get back Tsutsukakushi’s expressions—the ally of justice had failed.

---

1 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3571898/

2 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavlov’s_House?oldid=495096293

3 Dragon Quest series monster

4 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banch%C5%8D_Sarayashiki

5 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Okonomiyaki

6 The second ‘I’ is written as ‘Ore’ which is a more aggressive, confident way of saying ‘I’. The normal Youto says ‘Boku’. Since mentioning this every time this happens would be a pain, I’ll add it only when it becomes important.

7 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_Noon

8 ‘Ore’

9 Pavlov’s Dogs