Osananajimi ga Zettai ni Makenai Love Comedy Volume 2 Chapter 3 Part 2

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At Hardy Pro

Part 2

Hardy Pro was a ten-minute walk after getting off at Shibuya station. It was on the fifth floor of a ten-storey building that one could find turning south after proceeding along Dougenzaka Avenue.

It was an agency that could be in some ways counted as the fiftieth in the entertainment world, but due to charismatic founder Nina Hardy’s occasional discovery of what could be called smash-hit talent, in time its reputation had grown.

The last examples of these smash hits were Momosaka Maria and yours truly, Maru Sueharu.

“How about it, Big Brother Sueharu? Is it nostalgic?”

“…… I guess.”

Looking upwards towards the building, the office on the third floor had since been converted into an izakaya bar. While I couldn’t see many changes in the building’s exterior, some time had clearly elapsed.

From kindergarten onwards I was part of a certain theatre group that was in partnership with Hardy Pro. The story after that was that when I was a third-year elementary school student, Grandma Nina came over to the theatre group, whispered “You look interesting, I’m going to use you,” as soon as she saw me before dragging me away, and then I made my debut. In the two years before I retired, I made my way to the agency just about every week.

“It was also here where I met you too, huh, Big Brother.”

“…… Uh huh.”

It was when I was a fourth-year elementary school student that I met Maria.

The Maria of back then had been a problem child who was gloomy, timid and cowardly, and basically didn’t bother to trust anyone.

“Sueharu, go watch over her like an older brother.”

Suddenly being told to do as such by Grandma Nina, I had been well and truly perplexed.

Grandma Nina, however, had probably recognised that what Maria needed was someone of her own age she could rely on.

So too had she probably intended to encourage my growth as a person by it. As a result of my ties to the Shida family I had played the role of an older brother, but in the end we were just neighbours. I hadn’t understood what it truly meant to take care of another person. To pair Maria and I up had probably been a tactic of Grandma Nina’s for each of us to force the other to grow.

“What’s your name?”

As I had so asked, Maria with her dead eyes retreated into a hiding place before replying.

“…… Die, dumbass.”

Yup, Maria had been a rabid dog who would give anyone a bite…… well, her cuteness alone had stood out after all, so she could have been called something of a rabid rabbit.

Harrowing, it had truly been. Although I had taught her a few things and Grandma Nina had ordered us to move around together, still she would lash out at her surroundings, refuse to fit in, and basically cause quite a bit of trouble.

But it was in that time that I realised. Realised that hey, wasn’t this girl actually amazingly capable after all?

“…… Wha- who was it who put this whoopie cushion here?!”

As above, her methods of harassing me had been terrifyingly on point.

When I needed to be serious, she would make me laugh. When I needed to laugh, she would do something that would make me want to cry.

She could legitimately identify opportunity, and then perceive what it was that could perturb me. Well, apart from that fact that she was using her head to attack me I was pissed off, though.

“I’m deeply moved, Big Brother Sueharu…… to be able to come here once again with you like this.”

“I don’t know about being deeply moved, but it is true that this is quite stirring.”

It was probably influence from the time that I spent as her caretaker that I didn’t have any romantic feelings for Maria, who had since matured into one of showbiz’s brightest stars. Having spent so much time looking after her, it was kind of like I couldn’t think of her as an outsider any longer. To me she was really best suited to be someone akin to a little sister.

Maria muttered while looking at her branded watch.

“…… Everyone’s late, huh. I’m fairly sure they got lost. Shall we leave them behind and go?”

As Maria so said and took my hand, it was at that moment when the taxi Tetsuhiko and the rest were on arrived.

“Now look here you, what do you think you’re doing holding Suu-chan’s hand?!”

Shirokusa came flying out of the back seat in a fury.

“…… Oh, this? I thought Big Brother Sueharu might be unfamiliar with the way after so long, so I’m just holding his hand so I can show him around, you know?”

“What? That’s a little far-fetched for an excuse, don’t you think?”

“If we think about this with some common sense, I’d say your conduct’s been more shameful, though?”

These two were on terrible terms…… My tummy’s starting to hurt too, so perhaps I should make a run for it?

“Momo-san, there’s something I’d like to ask you……” Kuroha alighted following Shirokusa and asked of Maria. From behind her I could also see still later Tetsuhiko’s figure emerging from the passenger seat.

“Yes?”

“You paid for our taxi fare in advance, right? You also mentioned that you didn’t need change for it?”

“Yes, I did, so?”

“If so, then how do you explain the obviously bizarre route we took to get here? We’d be much, much later if Tetsuhiko-kun hadn’t realised.”

“…… Hm?”

The conversation had somehow abruptly turned peculiar.

Earlier today, Tetsuhiko, Kuroha and Shirokusa had rendezvoused at my house. We had planned for Maria to come meet us there by car.

Maria had then come bringing two cars, one of which was her personal vehicle, the other a taxi. Maria wished for me alone to board her personal vehicle, saying she wanted to reminisce about the past with me, and so the remaining three of them got on the cab.

From my house we had then supposedly set off for the agency at the same time, but–

“That must have been terrible,” Maria said as if with heartfelt consideration.

To Maria Kuroha matter-of-factly broke the truth.

“If we put those two things together and think about it, I have no choice but to imagine you paid off the taxi driver to try and buy time for yourself and separate us from Haru…… right?”

……Ahh, yeah, Kuro was probably right. To the extent that what she said could be declared the truth without any further cross-examination required. It had definitely been something Momo seemed likely to do.

Everyone present there eyed Maria with suspicion. Faced with those looks, Maria broke into an adorable grin.

“–But I didn’t.”

“How is it you can have such a shameless mentality?! I really think it’s amazing how you can say that so casually!”

When I so quipped Maria pressed her hands against both her cheeks before happily wriggling her body back and forth, as if overjoyed to be praised by her older brother.

I wasn’t, but it was true that I thought she was amazing.

I could neither make the switch between normal life and the stage spontaneously, nor lie without difficulty, but Maria could flip in an instant. A natural predisposition for acting, this girl truly had.

But either way Shirokusa had been turned to mute amazement, and we had probably done enough standing and talking.

“Well, Momo, everyone’s gathered, so could you please take us to where the president is?”

“Alright. Shall we get moving then, Big Brother Sueharu and freeloaders?”

“Huuuh?”

Kuroha and Shirokusa’s brows furrowed.

What was with these girls? Could it be that there was a huge fad right now amongst high school girls to see how much they could piss each other off? Even so there was still too much animosity, though.

“… Well I may be a freeloader, but Shida-chan got a name card and Kachi’s an actual celebrity, so I wouldn’t say it’s like they’ve got nothing to do with this, right?”

In reality it was Tetsuhiko who was the most bothered. The Tetsuhiko of today was somewhat quieter, or perhaps there was a difference compared to how he usually spun things, but either way basically he had a different air about him. Like in what he had just said, for instance – bringing himself alone down so as to elevate Kuroha and Shirokusa. It wasn’t like him to do so.

“………… Show us the way,” Kuroha prompted.

Shirokusa didn’t seem to have hit on it, but Kuroha had apparently picked up on Tetsuhiko’s abnormal transformation.

From Maria too disappeared her playful air. She had probably read the room. Her sense of perception might have become even more polished since before.

The five of us got on the elevator for the fifth floor. After passing through a gaudy entrance, we haphazardly emerged onto the landing.

“Hey, if it isn’t Maru-chan!”

“Oh, it really is! Wow, he’s really become a high-schooler now!”

“Huh, for real for real?!”

This was the production department, so in other words it was full of people I had made connections with in the past. In no time at all I was surrounded.

“Oh dear, hi guys. It’s been a while. Oh, thanks for looking out for me before.”

There were honestly more people I didn’t recognise than I did, but it was of utmost importance here that I wasn’t impolite! There was no profit to be gained from hurting someone’s feelings!

“You definitely mustn’t put on airs in front of people who’ve supported you! In fact, the more famous you become, the more humble you should be! Remember this well – ‘the boughs that bear most hang the lowest’!”

Those were the words my mother had taught me and beaten into my bones. Now having become a high school student, I was once again grateful to her for those valuable words she had imparted.

“Ooh, not at all, thanks. ……Oh, I’m a little busy today, maybe another time! …… Oh, that’s not it, I’m just here to listen for now, that’s all…… Honestly, I’m just grateful to be remembered! I really feel like dying being called the ‘Man Who’s Been Rejected a Million Times’, so please…… Ah, I really mustn’t keep the president waiting, so I’ll have to leave you all here for now!”

In the above fashion I pulled through.

I returned to the reception where everyone else was, and all around there were various promotional items deposited, such that Kuroha seemed ill at ease, as if she had been dropped into some other world. In that same vein, as expected, the active celebrity Shirokusa was used to it enough that she could put on a thin, forced smile even when talked to. Only Tetsuhiko was behaving a little strangely after all, and it sounded about right to call him cold, but what I really felt was that his heart wasn’t here.

We arrived at the president’s office at the very rear. Maria, who had led the way there, knocked, and we heard someone say “come in” in a relaxed, light-hearted voice.

“–After you, Big Brother Sueharu.”

Urged on by Maria, I had no choice but to take the lead and enter.

It was the expensive-looking paintings and antiques that caught my eyes first. The thirty square metre-large room¹ was packed full of them. The sofa, table, and basically everything else also looked pricey, such that there was an air of almost vulgar ostentation – that was my first impression.

Grandma Nina had been practical above all else. She had been a person with the type of mentality that there was no issue in keeping a cracked cup so long as it could still be used, so the difference was really quite jarring.

At the centre of this now extravagant room with his feet together atop an extravagant chair, was a middle-aged man drinking wine on a Saturday morning.

So this – was President Hardy Shun, huh.

“Sup, Maru-chan!”

President Shun got up from his seat as soon as he saw me, before theatrically spreading both his arms wide.

I recoiled subconsciously.

I mean, if I were to describe him in a single word, it would be…… “shady”.

First of all, his blond hair was shady. A quarter of him wasn’t Japanese, so it wasn’t like it didn’t suit him, but he really had the air of a Japanese about him, and his age was probably around forty, such that it all couldn’t help but reek of fishiness.

Then his goatee too was shady. What was he trying to be, a bad uncle²?

His purple shirt was shady. ……What was he, a host?

Woah, his shoes were pointy. Would someone get stabbed if he kicked them?

On the whole he stunk incredibly of a philanderer. What kind of life had he been living to become like that in middle age?

…… In this fashion I was overwhelmed by the many gibes and doubts popping up one after another inside my mind.

Come to think of it, Maria had said something relevant.

“And your impression of him, Momo?”

“What is certain is that he has ability.”

“What else? His character?”

“I think it would be better for you to confirm anything else with your own eyes, Big Brother. In the meantime, what would you say about meeting him?”

Well, to that I could only reply that for now I guess I would get acquainted with the shadiness, though…

Amid that heaping helping of dishonesty, what was shadiest of all was–

“Well, well, well, Maru-chan…… this is great! Yes, yes, Maru-chan in the flesh…… excellent! I’m very pleased. You know, you really do have some kind of aura about you somewhere. Not too sure where, though. But no matter, this is perfect, purrfect∼”

–His manner of speech.

Wait, was he praising me? Or criticising me?

All jokes aside I couldn’t tell how serious he was.

Yeah, this guy belonged to the type of people I’d want to punch – I thought to myself instinctively.

……Calm down. He’s a president. If I punched him it would mean my own destruction.

I took a deep breath, then flipped a switch in my head sending myself into “business mode”.

“Wow, President! Your aura’s incredible! I was floored the moment I saw you! I was like ‘Wow, so this is what they call a dandy’!”

Observe, my tempered powers of flattery!

Hmpf, I was a man who had mastered the art of getting on my knees…… I had no qualms about faking a smile or being supplicant!

“Good, gooood∼! You understand, Maru-channn∼!”

“On the contrary, President! Your stylish outfit is clearly the ensemble of someone who knows what they’re doing!”

“Wow, you’re really good at flattery, huuuh. Where did you learn how to do that, hmm?”

“No, no, I’m really only saying how I truly feel, hahaha!”

I wanted to be praised. For having the talking ability to instantly contend with this shady middle-aged man. Well, perhaps that could have been attributed more to a willingness to throw my pride away than my ability to talk per se, but…… to that I’ll close my eyes.

“Haru……”

“Suu-chan……”

Cold stares drilled into my back.

Wait, could it be that my actions had been hugely unpopular……?

Of those frosty looks, Tetsuhiko’s was yet another level above the rest.

Yes, it was more…… contempt than exasperation, perhaps? Were those the eyes of one looking at trash? Hmm, mixed with an intent to kill too, it was.

…… Oh and moreover, it wasn’t directed at me, but at President Shun instead.

To force his way into accompanying me then stare down the president looking for a fight…… What was this guy doing?

“I expected no less of you, Big Brother Sueharu. A sight to behold.”

In all only Maria complimented me.

Well this had again been one of my mother’s lessons.

“Be humble to those who support you.”

“Be even more humble to sponsors and the agency’s management.”

Just kowtow all the time, in other words. I didn’t feel any resistance towards doing that. By the time those teachings had been beaten into me I had already ditched anything resembling pride.

“So, how about it, Maru-chan? You coming back?”

“Ohh, well, to be honest, I’m still hesitating a little!”

“Huuuh, why though?”

“Well you know, I’ve been on hiatus for quite a while after all, and then I also want to consider how it’s all going to fit in together with my school life……”

“But Maru-chan, now is the time to strike, you knooow∼? You understand, don’t yooou∼?”

“Well, I…… I do, but……”

“You should just forget about something like school and think about making as much money as possible, am I right?”

“Haha……”

Yeah, this pacing. It didn’t feel at all like I was having a conversation with a forty-year-old uncle.

That, combined with a feeling of being casually forced to do something against my will and I was a little…… no, really quite ill-adapted.

What he was saying wasn’t wrong; in fact it was logical.

Indeed this was “the time to strike” thanks to that video causing my fame to skyrocket, and if we took into account the importance of timing it was appropriate to be dismissive of “something like school”.

But people weren’t moved based on logic alone. Emotionally, under no circumstances could I think of it merely as “something like school”.

“Oooh, if my eyes don’t deceive me, that’s Shida-san, isn’t it?!”

Uh oh, so he had found Kuroha, huh……

A goody-two-shoes, Kuroha was, so she’d never do anything like show dislike for people she was meeting for the first time. But here she was uncomfortable, from what I could see, unable to fully hide the fact that she didn’t have a good impression of the president.

“How about it, Shida-chan? You’ll make your debut, won’t you?”

“N- No, erm…… with regards to that……”

“You’re not seriously going to say you won’t, right?”

Kuroha broke into a pained smile in the face of President Shun’s arm-twisting, but after taking in a single, large breath, she bowed her head while ceasing to force herself to smile.

“………… No, but I must refuse. It is for that purpose that I came here today.”

Kuroha did things diligently, as expected.

Her – as demonstrated – unassailable strength, had my heartfelt respect.

“…… Hmmm.”

From the behind the mask of the easily excitable playboy – a different face peeked out.

A penetrating coldness, disquiet, and an all-too visceral disgust formed a thick sludge that came clinging onto me.

I knew instantly.

–That, yeah, this was probably his true nature.

“You know, Shida-chan…… if you were to make your debut together with Maru-chan right now…… you could make a billion yen in three years.”

“?!”

At that naturally even Kuroha’s eyes widened into circles.

“And by the way, for you, Maru-chan, it’s three billion in three years. I can’t fully guarantee it, but well, it’s certainly an achievable amount if we act according to my plan.”

Three billion yen……? Some said that the average person made about that much money in his or her lifetime, so in other words I could make a lifetime’s worth of wages in only three years?

“The truth is, Maru-chan, is that there’s a sponsor out there who expects great things from you, and he said he’d like you to play the leading role in a commercial. Interest will double if we also get Shida-chan involved in this. Our sponsor also mentioned he’d very much like to meet you when he heard you were coming today. He’s scheduled to show up in just a bit, so I’ll leave it to you to just say hi or something for now, alright?”

Three billion…… three billion…… three billion……

Stunned by the three billion yen, President Shun’s words never reached my ears.

If I actually raked that much money in, then–

I clenched my hand into a tight fist.

“Tetsuhiko, if I made that much I could make Rena shut up even if I asked her to do something perverted, right?!”

“Sueharu, that conception of yours is so disgusting, even I’m in shock. In a sense I guess you’ve exceeded my expectations for the very first time.”

“Haru……”

“Suu-chan……”

Wait…… Sure, in my excitement I had let my mouth run a little, but…… it wasn’t being very well received?!

“W- Well, I get why the girls don’t like it, but…… Tetsuhiko! You’re a male high school student…… same as me, right?! Don’t go off alone acting like you don’t think it’s true!”

“Huh? Look, I’m not thirsty for women, so I really don’t get where you’re coming from, though? You’re so desperate, Sueharu, it’s gross.”

“You bastarddddd! Apologise to all the high school boys in this countryyyyy!”

“Dumbassssssss! Guys who aren’t popular only have themselves to blameeeee! You’re going to represent them and apologise to meeee! Maybe after that then I’ll teach you some tricks to make yourself popular amongst the girlsssss!”

“Wait, seriously? Oh, I’ll apologise! In return you better teach me properly!”

“Haru……”

“Suu-chan……”

Hmm, strange. I felt like my favourability amongst Kuroha and Shirokusa had fallen quite considerably since we entered this room, despite me having only acted true to myself……

“It’s alright, Big Brother Sueharu. I’ll make sure to straighten you out properly, down to your character.”

While making it look like she approved, Maria too had casually repudiated me……

President Shun coughed lightly in order to bring the conversation back to his speed.

“Well, putting that piece of rubbish aside, you’re good with this, aren’t you, Shida-chan? One billion in three years! You know how amazing that is?”

“Y- Yes…… well……”

Despite having firmly refused once, to no surprise Kuroha had clearly been stunned by the magnitude of the amount of money at stake. She wasn’t the type to obsess over wealth, but she felt guilty too from having been enticed by the money, which caused her to be unable to end the conversation.

“Of course, if you show us that you have more diverse talents, Shida-chan, that amount could even double, no, triple. It goes without saying then that you could work in showbiz a long time if you wanted to, let alone three years. On the other hand, you could also make a billion yen in three years, then call it quits completely. With that much money saved up, you could go to university. Then again, in those three years you could also get close to some handsome guy and get married. You’d get to rub shoulders with some big names you’d never get the chance to become acquainted with otherwise, you know? With your popularity and the amount of attention you’re getting right now already way higher than some crappy idol’s, this is certainly something that can be done, Shida-chan.”

The delivery had been unpleasant, but all of it had probably been the truth. It was logical, and equally true was the fact that the kind of future the president had painted could typically be called “desirable”.

But I knew well that Kuroha held a different attitude to what was normally “desirable”. She was the owner of a mindset deeply grounded in reality.

Kuroha cherished her daily routine. She cherished her family. She cherished her friends, which was why she helped others out of her own free will, and was quick to offer advice when it was needed. She found happiness in simply being involved with those around her.

In other words – Kuroha didn’t think particularly much about standing out. That she had come immediately to the conclusion that she had no interest in showbiz too was only natural after considering her personality.

“Erm…… I am grateful for this conversation…… but I must apologise.”

“But you just said you were grateful, right? You understand the value of money, don’t you? If so, should you really be apologising then?”

–Isn’t Kuro already saying no?

“No, what I’m saying is that money is important, but I value more the things that I’m close to……”

“If you have money, you’d be able to give the people you’re close to a better life, right? Never thought about being filial to your parents?”

–If so, why is he forcing her to do this against her will?

“Of course I do, but……”

“Then do it! Work in public entertainment!”

–It’s as if he’s taking her parents hostage in order to threaten her……

“No, as I’ve already mentioned many times before, I came here today to reject your offer……”

“…… You’re not too quick on the uptake, are you? I guess your parents didn’t raise you well?”

The colour of Kuroha’s face changed. But of course it did. She wasn’t someone who could keep quiet in the face of her parents being ridiculed.

But then…… what about me?

–In the face of Kuro, Kuro’s parents…… people who were dear to me being ridiculed, what would I do……?

“Be humble to those who support you.”

“Be even more humble to sponsors and the agency’s management.”

But to my mother’s lesson – there had been a second part.

“But there’s no need to bow for the people you hold dear. For them you must fight–”

–That’s right. The most important thing she taught me was to have a heart that wouldn’t waver about fighting to protect the people important to me.

Kuroha glowered upwards sternly. President Shun’s eyes narrowed, as if calling her an impenitent girl.

At that dumb president’s head – I hurled the wine which was sitting atop the table.

“–Don’t make a fool out of my childhood friend.”

Red wine ran down the president’s cheek and dripped onto the carpet.

Time came to a stop in the president’s office. The shock was such that no one breathed and all eyes were opened wide.

At the audacity of my action President Shun was dumbfounded.

Within only a few seconds, however, he grasped the situation, and as I watched his face was transformed by hatred.

On the contrary I had been fairly composed.

My actions had been performed unintentionally out of rage – but all the same there could not have been a worse target for them.

“O- Oh, this is a…… you know…… yeah, that’s right, an accidental discharge! I mean, everyone knows the first shot doesn’t count when it comes to accidental discharges, right?! This is the same thing! This is all just the result of several slip ups–”

“Suu-chan, that line of reasoning really doesn’t……”

“Trying to smooth over things at this hour…… Sueharu, just how utterly shameless can you be?”

“Shut up! Leave me alone!”

As I thoughtlessly forced a smile, President Shun pulled out a handkerchief which had been decorated in poor taste, and wiped away the wine which had come down in streaks off his face.

That breezy tone from earlier too had all but disappeared. The disdain in his eyes was total as he brought them to glare at me.

“Tsk, I had a bad feeling when you showed up with rubbish. So you too are garbage, huh!”

…… Hm, what did he mean by what he had just said?

The latter portion of “so you too are garbage” had undoubtedly been addressed to me.

Well, so be it. I had done all that, after all.

But then the part where he said that I had “showed up with rubbish”…… could it be that that referred to Tetsuhiko? Come to think of it, when he had talked about “putting that piece of rubbish aside” earlier, had that also been directed at him?

…… Wait, President Shun knew Tetsuhiko? But how?

“Oi…… you bastard, what did you just say?”

Tetsuhiko suddenly snapped. He had sprung forth before anyone could react, and when we realised it he had already grabbed hold of and was squeezing the nape of President Shun’s neck.

“Wa- Tetsuhiko-kun?! Going this far is not according to our plan–”

……Plan?

I was curious about what it was Kuroha had attempted to say, but right now clearly I didn’t have the luxury of asking.

“Tetsuhiko, stop!”

I too had gotten mad at the president, but really Tetsuhiko had gone too far.

I put Tetsuhiko into a Nelson hold, forcibly tearing him away.

“This isn’t like you, man! What’s going on?!”

“Shut up, Dummyharu! Let go of me! I don’t care about myself! But this piece of crap here is making a fool out of my pal – so I can’t keep quiet, can I?!”

“Tetsuhiko……”

You dumbass, Tetsuhiko. If you say something like that, how is my chest not supposed to swell?

But the way in which he had snapped had been extraordinary. Could it be that…… there was some sort of shared destiny between President Shun and Tetsuhiko? And in turn, could that be related to the “something” Tetsuhiko mentioned he “wanted to see”? I wanted to ask, but…… I didn’t think President Shun or Tetsuhiko would be kind enough to answer under any circumstances.

“You pieces of trash……”

President Shun adjusted his tie before picking up the phone on the desk.

“Oi, call the police. Some ruffians have intruded into my office. …………Hm? What’s that?”

He had apparently called someone within the agency, but something was awry.

“…… Oh, no, that’s not what…… give me a moment.”

Had something happened? The colour of President Shun’s face shifted, and “You all had better stay here!” was how he threatened us, before he left his office for some reason.

Left behind, it was our plight to stand rock still in silence.

“…………”

“…………”

“…………”

“…………”

“………… What are we gonna dooo?”

My heart screamed.

“Oi, what are we gonna do, Tetsuhiko? You don’t have a good plan or something?” I gave Tetsuhiko a small nudge with my elbow.

“We didn’t hurt him and it was just us here. All we gotta do is to testify that nothing happened.”

“What about my wine thing then? They’d be able to tell from the smell, right?”

“Wouldn’t it be fine if we just said that that asshole fell and hit his head on it or something?”

“I see…… this must be the first time I’ve ever found you so reliable……”

Incredible, as expected of Tetsuhiko. He had a truly devious way of thinking. It was perfect for an excuse produced on the fly.

“That’s how I’ll testify. Because that man…… he’s too much. I can’t forgive him.” Shirokusa signified her endorsement.

“I will too, if there’s a need for it.” Maria too agreed on the spot.

“–Haru.”

A frigid voice rang out.

Kuroha stood before me, looking directly upward. Her expression…… was the one she took when in lecture mode.

“You know, for Big Sister, whether it’s about throwing the wine or all of us planning to lie together, I have to say that we’ve gone too far.”

“…… Well, we did.”

As expected of an honour student. It was as she said. If we thought about this rationally, Kuroha was completely right.

“What are you planning on doing, Haru? Even if you manage to bluff your way through with some cheap trick, at the end of the day that’s only a temporary measure, right? Having done something like that to the president of an agency, wouldn’t this put your return to showbiz itself in jeopardy……?”

“I guess…… I can see that piece of shit president spreading the word about what happened with a few details mixed in, so that other agencies probably wouldn’t take me in either……”

“Ooh…… Haru, you idiot!”

Kuroha began pounding my chest.

“You idiot, you idiot, you idiot! You went through so much just to be able to stand on stage once again, then you let that chance slip right through your fingers!”

Kuroha’s eyes welled up with tears. The blows directed at my chest weren’t particularly powerful, but my throat tightened as if they each conveyed to me Kuroha’s anguish.

“No, I understand that very well, but……”

All the same, I had no regrets. Insulting Kuroha and her parents…… that alone I couldn’t overlook. If I couldn’t enter showbiz without enduring that, then I’d be the one to refuse.

Kuroha dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief, then stared at me feverishly while her cheeks turned red.

“–But I’m glad I’m your childhood friend, Haru.”

Unexpected words coming from the goody-two-shoes that was Kuroha. I blinked without thinking.

“…… Eh?”

“I really couldn’t forgive him for mocking Mom and Dad. I’d want nothing to do with someone like that ever again, so I had to fight back. But because I’ve never tried to so much as hurt someone before, I hesitated. You fought back for me before I could, Haru. I do think what you did was incredibly stupid, but – I was really happy. It reminded me of how back in elementary school, you would show up where I was being detained and secretly eat the school meals I couldn’t.”

Well, back then with the school meals I had also gotten caught, resulting in the teacher chewing me out after that for doing something stupid, I think. This time I had once again merely done something of my own accord, so I really didn’t have a right to be thanked, but…… Kuroha’s eyes were so sparkly that I felt kind of embarrassed.

I could only tell her not to mention it while scratching at my cheek.

“…… What’s all this about a police incident?! Maru-chan’s here, isn’t he?! What’s going on?!”

“Erm…… this is…… I’ll explain, so……”

“That’s quite alright! I’ll ask him myself!”

Just as I thought I could make out some voices coming from down the hallway, the doors to the president’s office suddenly flew open.

There it was a dandy middle-aged man who appeared.

“Ooh, it’s Maru-chan! Long time no see! Remember me? I’m Kachi Souichirou!”

Ah, this was nostalgic. This man was Shirokusa’s father, Kachi Souichirou – the CEO of a pharmaceutical company, and in the past once the leading sponsor of a drama series. It was from then that he became incredibly invested in me and began looking after my affairs.

Compared to President Shun’s shadiness, this man had achieved a refined compromise between coolness and thoughtfulness. In addition to the refreshingness he exuded, the accents on his one-point embroidery showed off his immaculate sense of fashion. Six years had passed, which probably made him a little over fifty years old at present? I could feel him project even more stability than before; an image that could be called nothing short of a gentleman’s.

Souichirou-san came flying with his arms wide open as soon as he saw me.

“Wooow, you’ve really gotten big, huh! I wanted to see you so I just found myself coming here! Do you remember me? Perhaps it would be better if I were to introduce myself as Shiro’s father?”

“No, I remember you very well. It has been a long time.”

“P- Papa……”

I found it to be awkward most of the time when a Japanese called his or her father “Papa”, but perhaps because of Shirokusa’s father’s overwhelming dandyism, I thought it was very fitting in this case.

When the dandy Souichirou-san became privy to his daughter’s presence, his eyes widened into circles.

“Why are you here, Shiro?”

“…… I was curious about whether Suu-chan would return to showbiz, so I ended up coming.”

“I see…… Then if I’m not mistaken, you must be Shida Kuroha-kun…… and you too are here, Maria-kun.”

“Yes, it’s been awhile,” Maria greeted gracefully. Kuroha, though probably never having made Souichirou-san’s acquaintance, bowed her head for the time being.

“For a police incident to happen amongst these members here…… what could have happened, I wonder?”

The eyes of President Shun were glaring as he entered the office a time after Souichirou-san did.

Ooh, I see. When President Shun had tried phoning someone within the agency to call the police, it was right about then when Souichirou-san had arrived, huh. Hearing about it shocked Souichirou-san, who then took matters into his own hands. So that’s how it was.

“President Kachi, I’m sure the children have already coordinated their stories and will insist on their innocence. The police shall verify, so any interference will be unnecessary.”

Wow, this guy was no idiot. He had seized the initiative and forestalled our plan.

“Papa…… please…… hear me out!”

Towards his daughter, who came rushing over, Souichirou-san put up his hands to hold her back.

“President Shun, as long as my daughter’s involved in this, I do believe that I’m not completely unconcerned either. For now, I do think that I have the right at least to listen to what the kids have to say?”

“…… Well, if that’s all you’re doing.”

“No matter what happens, Shiro, Papa’ll always be your ally, but right now what I want to hear are objective opinions. …… Right, Maria-kun, would you mind if we start with you explaining what happened first? As for the rest of you, I’d like you all to add on if anything Maria-kun says jumps out at you.”

As expected of a capable president who had grown his company big in just a single generation. He very clearly perceived the situation.

Shirokusa was losing her composure, while at the same time, as interested parties, Kuroha, Tetsuhiko and I were likely to become emotional. For those reasons, Maria was undoubtedly the calmest at this point in time.

It all reflected a discernment to pass judgement through observation alone, without asking anyone so much as a word. As ever, Souichirou-san appeared to be someone I could trust.

The tension in my shoulders disappeared.

It looked like it would be best to leave things to his judgement. If it were just us here alone, it seemed to me like we’d end up being enticed by Tetsuhiko’s plan. I thought we should frankly tell the truth with nothing to lose.

………………

…………

……

“I see. So that’s how it was, was it.”

On one side of a pair of sofas opposing each other sat Papa Shirokusa. On the other sat Maria in the middle, with Kuroha and Shirokusa lining her flanks.

Tetsuhiko and I were in the vicinity of Maria and company, but with no place left to sit, we stood watching over the proceedings.

President Shun, by the way, was sitting on his own chair in spectator mode. Rather than awkwardly try to intercede and lower Souichirou-san’s impression of him, he seemed to have judged that it was better to keep silent and observe.

“Personally, I do think that calling the police was going too far, and that there were some extenuating circumstances. But well, if we’re talking about who’s at fault, I have to say that it’s Maru-chan and Tetsuhiko-kun for making a move.”

“I expected no less from you, President Kachi. A measured decision.”

Fuck, this piece of crap president was really pissing me off. I should’ve given him at least one punch earlier.

“Erm, Haru acted for my sake, so if you could please blame me instead!”

At Kuroha’s suggestion, Souichirou-san pondered with his hand against his chin.

“I know how you feel, but that isn’t how this works. I’m sure that deep down, you too understand that, don’t you?”

His calm tone alone had the effect of restoring one’s sobriety.

Kuroha bit her lip and nodded deeply.

“Papa…… no matter what the law says, I’m still going to defend Suu-chan.”

“…… Shiro.”

Shirokusa stood up gallantly and spoke with resolution.

“For me, I’m convinced that Suu-chan did the right thing to do as a person. Who was it who decided that hurting someone had to be a physical act? After all, words are weapons enough. This time around, it was that president over there who caused the most hurt. That will never change for me, no matter what the law says.”

“Shiro……”

Shirokusa was prideful. Timid she may have been, but she had her own sense of justice and the strength to pierce through with it – a side of this noble, hard worker I had been attracted to and had fallen in love with.

The beauty of Shirokusa’s dignified profile was more than sufficient to evoke in me memories of my first love.

“Now then.”

Perhaps as if to put a period on the conversation, Maria clasped her hands aloud before her chest.

“Putting everyone’s opinions together, my impression is that we all want to support Big Brother Sueharu. We don’t want to make this a police incident, and instead want to somehow bring this peacefully to a conclusion. Are we all okay with this?”

We all nodded wordlessly. Souichirou-san included, we were all in agreement.

“Except that Shun-san definitely won’t accept that.”

“It’s only natural, right? I’m the victim here, you know. The victim.”

Tsk, this dude was seriously full of shit. Even as Tetsuhiko, Kuroha, Shirokusa and I…… the four of us glared at him, he didn’t flinch in the slightest. His audaciousness alone I felt was worthy of giving praise to.

At President Shun Souichirou-san prodded sharply.

“I think that manner of speech will give the children cause to harbour some resentment. Don’t you think you’re being childish with them?”

President Shun simply chortled through his nose.

“Oh, I don’t think it’s as you say at all, President Kachi. No matter what kind of language I’ve used, it’s a fact that whoever raises his fist is the one at fault. I’d like you to consider the possibility that these children might be lying in order to excuse themselves.”

Tetsuhiko made fists with his hands and took a step forward, so Kuroha and I grabbed his arms and restrained him.

At this point Maria’s eyes began to smile. It was an expression I had seen countless times before, one Maria made when demonstrating the full extent of her talents.

“In that case, shall we not have a…… commercial competition then?”

Hm……? What was that……? A commercial competition……?

Her astonishing words had probably caught us all off guard. A weird silence ensued.

Maria turned around and gave President Shun a grin.

“You say you’re going to tell the police, Shun-san, but what about trying to be a little more composed about this? You mustn’t be led astray by a moment of anger. If you do tell the police, then Big Brother Sueharu won’t join the agency, which would mean of course that no benefit would come out of this whatsoever. I would assume that that isn’t your true will, Shun-san?”

“…… I see, it’s as you say, Momosaka-chan. There wouldn’t be a single yen’s worth of profit in it for me to report Maru-chan to the police.”

“But if Big Brother Sueharu was kind enough to join the agency, it would result in a tremendous profit, yes?”

“Indeed.”

President Shun started to think. His profile began to markedly project that of a businessman’s.

I expected no less from Maria, who had had the presence of mind to turn negotiations into an analysis over cost and benefit.

“I’m going to make a suggestion. What about if Shun-san and Big Brother Sueharu compete over making commercials, and if Shun-san wins, then Big Brother Sueharu will join the agency where he’ll work by Shun-san’s kind offices? To you, Shun-san, wouldn’t that be the best result?”

“Hm…… I see.”

In President Shun’s head he had probably made several calculations. Caressing his beard, he then gave a large nod.

“Alright∼, Momosaka-chan! Now we’re really talking! If that’s how it is, then I can get on too!”

“But if Big Brother Sueharu wins, then you won’t file a complaint with the police, and you’ll have to drop Tetsuhiko-san’s case too. You’ll leave the decision to join the agency up to Big Brother Sueharu, allow him not to, and won’t obstruct him from signing a contract with or working for another agency. You’re okay with that, right?”

“Hmm!”

President Shun hesitated for a moment, but then proceeded immediately to show his white teeth.

“Sureee, sureee. Okay. I’ll accept it.”

“Uncle, could I trouble you to be the witness?”

“Of course.”

It was reassuring to see Maria demonstrate her skill in roping in and securing Souichirou-san’s commitment.

However…… it was at this point that I finally grasped Maria’s intentions.

If things stayed as they were, neither party would be pleased. We would stay mad at that piece of crap president, while he wouldn’t very well keep quiet over getting wine thrown at his head either. We were far from a compromise. It was a quandary.

In that case we might as well settle things in a contest, for at the very least then one party would have their grievances soothed.

If we won we’d deal President Shun a blow, and be able to make as if trouble never happened.

If President Shun won, he’d get me and turn a profit from this affair.

It wasn’t bad at all, though I was perplexed when Maria first suggested it. A contest we would have.

“What about you, Big Brother Sueharu? Will you compete?”

“…… Yeah, I’ll do it.”

I was enraged at this irritating, piece of shit president from the bottom of my heart. But all the same, it wasn’t like I could punch him.

If I won, however, then I’d be able to shut him up. Tell him to suck it. Opportunities like these were few and far between. If I lost I’d be worked to the bone at the agency, of course, but well it probably wouldn’t kill me. I intended to win, after all, so I’d think about what would happen after I lost only if and when it was time to.

All that remained to be seen was if the contest’s conditions would be fair. The fact that the president looked like he had no reservations about using dirty tricks terrified me.

“Right then, now that we’ve gotten both parties to agree, there’s something I’d like to check…… Uncle, would it be alright if Big Brother Sueharu on one side and the agency on the other, make two versions of the commercial you mentioned you’d like to entrust Big Brother Sueharu with if he came back?”

“If that’s what we’re going with, then of course I don’t mind. After all, like this, in its own way, it seems as if things might blow up.”

Ahh, come to think about it, earlier President Shun I think had briefly mentioned about a sponsor who was banking on me doing a commercial coming over to say hi…… So that had been Souichirou-san, huh.

“We’ll open the commercials next to each other publicly on a specially created website, then get viewers to vote on which they liked better. What say we call the winner whoever wins the most votes?”

I see – was what I thought to myself when Kuroha came cutting in.

“But this way Haru doesn’t have a chance of winning, does he? Clearly it’s impossible for Haru to do everything alone. Maybe you set up this kind of contest because you want Haru to join the agency, but either way I won’t be fooled.”

Woah, Kuroha and Maria were having an intense staring contest, but why though?

Ohh, I see. Kuroha was being wary of Maria with regards to her trying to draw me back into the agency, thus even now she thought of Maria as being on President Shun’s side, if she had to put her on one.

Because of my close ties to Maria in the past, however, I felt that she leaned towards mine instead. It was Maria who had initially invited me back to the agency, but how complicated things had become since then. It was when she suggested the commercial contest that I first wondered if she wasn’t planning to side with me.

But who knew for sure? Could Kuroha’s judgment be correct instead, which meant that Maria was really favouring the agency? Hmm, I had no idea. Perhaps I’d try asking Maria if I could find the right time.

“Well it isn’t as if only Big Brother Sueharu will be participating in this contest, you know? For what I’m proposing, Kuroha-san…… I’d want you to join in as well.”

“…… Eh?”

Kuroha probably hadn’t thought she’d be involved in the commercial contest. She stiffened.

“I heard about it earlier from Big Brother Sueharu. The ‘Ultramarine Channel’…… Tetsuhiko-san’s idea or something. Why not? It smells very much like youth. I even admire it a little. Perhaps for the time being you could even call yourselves the ‘Ultramarine Alliance’. With the members of the ‘Ultramarine Channel’ on board, then maybe we can have a good fight.”

“Is this a joke? We’re only high school students, you know? It’ll be impossible for us to win against professionals.” Kuroha leerily inquired of Maria.

“Is that really the case?”

Maria looked over the lineup of characters presently assembled.

“I can personally guarantee that Big Brother Sueharu at his best has a magnetism that’s top tier even amongst the rest of the entertainment world. And Shirokusa-san. You’re also a professional yourself, and at that one with a strong fixation over Big Brother Sueharu…… correct?”

Shirokusa displayed a moment of hesitation before eventually giving her honest agreement.

“…… Yes, I am.”

“I’ve seen many ways in which obsession can demonstrate its incredible power. At the end of the day, when it comes to making things, I think it’s easiest for someone making something they love for someone they love to produce something of quality. Your obsession and conceptual ability, Shirokusa-san. I predict that if you can put those two things together, you could very well make a proposal capable of competing with a professional’s. What do you say? Doesn’t Big Brother Sueharu starring in a commercial you came up with…… get you fired up?”

Shirokusa gently combed out her beautiful black hair.

“If I do say so myself – I don’t feel like I’m going to lose.”

The contrast between this proud, overwhelmingly self-confident Shirokusa and those times when she had been cowed into submission was such that she appeared three times cooler and more beautiful than she usually was.

“I’ve been watching your work, Shirokusa-chan.”

“?!”

President Shun abruptly locked onto Shirokusa.

It must have felt pretty disgusting. Shirokusa shuddered.

“A place little more than a club is hardly the place for someone as talented as you. If you’re alright with it, why not try working with us on the commercial our agency’s going to make? This time around we’ll make the commercial whatever you propose.”

Tsk, the shakedown had come without delay. Without Shirokusa’s proposal and script, we had no chance of winning the commercial contest. Was that what the president had determined? If so, he was probably…… not mistaken.

I could sense that things were taking a dangerous turn, but President Shun’s suggestions sounded so mesmerising even to an onlooker like me, that I never considered that they might be bait used to promptly lure Shirokusa into becoming his ally.

As I prepared to mount a response, acting first with the same idea – was Tetsuhiko.

“Do you know, Kachi, that siding with the agency only means that, at the end of the day, you’re just going to be made into one of their lackeys?”

Tetsuhiko spoke matter-of-factly while looking threateningly at President Shun.

“I’ve said it before, haven’t I? You’ll become an amateur if you’re surrounded by other professionals. Would that really satisfy you?”

“That’s–”

“Besides, we’ve got Sueharu here in the ‘Ultramarine Alliance’. If anyone can make your dreams come true – it’s us.”

“…………”

There was a short pause. But without much agonising, Shirokusa came to a decision.

“I’m going to follow Suu-chan. I don’t appreciate how Kai-kun made me feel like I was being provoked, but what he said was the truth after all, and as for that guy – I don’t like him very much anyway.”

“That guy”, of course, referred to President Shun.

The president broke into a peerless smile, as if to say menacingly that he hoped Shirokusa wouldn’t regret her decision. She, however, ignored this, and raised her shapely nose up towards the sky.

“If we’re going to do this, Uncle, I assume you’ll be alright with splitting the money to cover production costs evenly between the two groups?”

“…… Yes. That would be fair.”

“Perhaps it would also be better to leave the creation of the special website and such to you, Uncle. You would be playing the umpire, so to speak.”

“Of course. I’ll make arrangements.”

“Now that that’s settled, since our agency has the overwhelming advantage in everything from experience to financial muscle – the contest shall begin a week from now. What about holding it on…… the three days starting Saturday, the 30th of September and ending on Monday, the 2nd of October? With a shorter time period it would then be impossible for the agency to secure a production team, likely making the circumstances for both sides somewhat more equal.”

I see. This schedule was impossible. But I could also understand that – that it was precisely because it was so tight that as a result the gap between the agency and some high school students was narrowed. As the agency managed to lock down the services of best-selling idols or famous producers, so would our odds of victory decrease proportionately.

“Uncle, can I enlist your help in securing the cameramen and editorial staff Big Brother Sueharu and company will require?”

“Sure, I do have some connections. It probably wouldn’t be much of a contest otherwise if I didn’t do at least that much.”

“Thank you.”

I had expected no less from Maria. She had sufficiently created enough of a balance such that it now seemed like there would be a fair fight. While I sensed that she had some sort of ulterior motive, I could also feel her fastidiousness towards parity. The only thing was perhaps I should try ascertaining where she stood.

“More importantly, Momo, you’re on my side, aren’t you? You’re going to appear in our commercial, right?”

“Eh? No, I won’t.”

My next lines I delivered in a tone as if asking Maria how she could suggest something so incredulous.

“Wha- Wait, what?! Seriously, I was really counting on your popularity, you know?!”

“Haru……”

“Suu-chan……”

Kuroha and Shirokusa’s gazes were once again freezing. Was this not becoming some kind of trend?

“But I mean, you’re close to me, Momo, so no matter how I think about it, you’d have to favour me, right?”

“I want to show just how much I’ve grown over these last six years – so I think I’m going to star for Shun-san instead.”

“No, no, no, I swear I don’t want any part of this battle manga-esque turn of events! My life depends on this, so please, have mercy on me.”

I got on my knees with rapid speed.

“Sueharuuu, you’ve gotta be kidding meee. Getting down on your knees in the middle of this kind of conversation?!”

“You dumbass, our chances of winning are gonna fall by a whole lot if Momo becomes our enemy! Is this not the time to use our tears or any other means necessary in order to make her relent?! Because she’s really good and super famous, okay?!”

“I mean, you’re right, but, it was just kind of inappropriate to do that in the whole flow of things, you know?”

“Big Brother Sueharu……”

Maria squatted down, gently took my hand, and brought me to my feet.

“–Do your best, okay? ♡”

“Oi, listen to me!”

“How about doing it this way, Shun-san?”

When Maria turned around, President Shun gave a satisfied nod.

“Well, it probably wouldn’t be much of a contest otherwise without all these arrangements. Not bad terms at all.”

Something bothered me, though. I didn’t think Maria would be the type to offer her allegiance to the president……

“–I see!”

Maria sought salvation from me. Which meant that, it was reasonable to view this development – as the result of President Shun having something on Maria. That was why she couldn’t leave the agency’s side. That was why she had to fight us with all her might.

This whole plan itself was the hand with which Maria reached out to me for assistance.

She wanted me to destroy President Shun. Only by that then could she also be saved.

While I couldn’t let out from my mouth that I knew she had her reasons, I still wanted to sympathise with Maria. In other words, there was something I had to do.

Knowing the truth, I whispered into Maria’s ear.

“Momo, are you sure that it’s alright that you didn’t add in the condition that you’ll quit the agency if we win?”

“Big Brother Sueharu……”

“…… I’m worried, you know? About leaving you near someone like that.”

“…… Thank you, Big Brother Sueharu. I’ll secretly add in the condition about me quitting the agency later. It’s alright, I’ll convince Shun-san, I’ll show you.”

All right. This meant that Maria could be saved too. All that remained – was for us to win.

“–Erm.”

Shirokusa raised her arm, to which Maria held out the palm of her hand, gesturing to her to speak.

“While I’d also like the detailed terms of this contest to be put into a list…… before that there’s one thing I’d like to point out.”

“What is it?”

“Assuming that Momosaka-san is going to be starring in the agency’s commercial…… it would be to our overwhelming disadvantage if that were to be, for example, announced on live television.”

“…… I see. In that case, while this commercial contest won’t preclude the actors involved from their work, we’ll forbid the mentioning of anything related to the commercials while they’re on the job…… Would you be alright with that, Shun-san?”

“Sure, I guess.”

“And you, Shirokusa-san?”

“Yes, that would be good enough for me.”

“Then it’s decided.”

Shirokusa was deliberating something with her index finger pressed against her lips. As one would expect of a novelist, this pose made her look very intellectual.

Maria caught her breath, then surveyed all the people present.

“Right, then let us now disperse from here at this juncture. I will shortly send the list of terms either to Big Brother Sueharu or Tetsuhiko-san. Thank you all for coming today.”

And with that signalled the conclusion of our discussions at Hardy Pro.

*

¹Converted from 20 jo, or the size of one tatami mat. For you Americans, that’s about 323 square feet. Our beloved author was too lazy to pick another number from the one in the prologue, so I was also too lazy to write up another TL note from scratch.

²A poor localisation of choi waru oyaji, which refers to middle-age men that come close to the image of a Latin or Italian “macho” and accordingly combine a certain fashion style most popularly advocated by the magazine LEON. Come to think of it, it would have been so much more efficient for both me and you, dear reader, for you to have googled images of this yourself.