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Diamond
—Susuki—
“Geez…”
Reaching lunch break at school, I had so many things to think about, a sigh escaped my lips.
“Susuki-san, you were amazing during last PE class! The way you scored that shoot during basketball was so cool!”
Surprisingly enough, a female classmate of mine came talking to me. I really worked up a sweat to get rid of all the built-up stress, which apparently also showered me in attention.
“I played basketball in middle school.”
“Oh, I see. You’re not playing anymore now?”
“…I’m not really that much of a team player or coordinator.”
I became aware of it back in middle school. I couldn’t play along with the seniors with no talent, and I couldn’t deal with all those inefficient rules. Of course, my personality will make it hard to make it somewhere in society nowadays, but I did manage to keep working at my part-time job, so I’m not a completely lost cause.
“Ah, I get that. I think you’d rather be by yourself than in a big group,” Oohara-san said as she walked away.
It’s not like I prefer being by myself, I just don’t want to get hurt. That’s why I keep my distance from people other than Minami. And the reason I ended up with this personality…it’s all because of Nanato. Or so I thought until late. Now that a year and a half had passed since that event, I definitely cooled down a bit and started thinking more rationally about it all, which gave birth to doubts in my head. And when I heard Nanato’s worries the other day, those doubts became certain.
Liked by two people, he tried to find a way to not hurt anybody. He was genuinely trying to find the best solution. I don’t think he is the type of person to be two-timing me…I want to make sure now. If I don’t do that, I’ll probably never be able to get over it and keep it in the back of my head forever. That time is still stuck in my throat like a fishbone not having been removed. Until I get rid of that, I won’t be able to move forward. But if I learned about the truth, I would also learn about Minami and her—
“Ikumi-chan, what’s weighing down on you to be looking like this?”
“Wueh?!”
Minami suddenly embraced me from behind. Since I was just thinking about her, her sudden appearance completely threw me for a loop.
“I was thinking about the time I broke up with Amami.”
“When he was two-timing you?”
“Yeah. I’m thinking of asking him for the truth tomorrow.”
“…I see.” Minami seemed bothered by something.
I guess she really knows something.
“Are you sure?”
“You can do as you’d like, Ikumi-chan.”
She had an expression like she had given up on everything.
“Where are you gonna talk with him?”
“Maybe the outer plaza of the shopping mall…Wait, why would you need to know that? You better not come.”
“I wouldn’t be sticking to you, Ikumi-chan.”
I thought she’d come with me, but I guess that wasn’t her plan after all. But then, why would she go out of her way to ask…
“Do you want to make up with Amami-kun?” She asked.
“…Not really. It looks like he’s interested in another girl already.”
I don’t like him anymore. I’m just trying to dislike him more so that I could forget.
“So if he didn’t have someone, you’d want to make up with him.”
“Wha…?”
“Bulls-eye, huh?” Minami looked at me like she had seen right through my farce.
Feeling like I was dancing atop her palm annoyed me.
“Amami-kun has someone he likes, huh? I bet it must be her.”
“Do you know something?”
“Amami-kun came to the juice shop I work at the other day, and he was talking all friendly with my co-worker there. It must be her.”
Oh yeah, there was also this gal that came to see him at our crepe store.
“Could it be that gal?”
“Not at all. She’s like a prim and proper girl, and really cute, too.” Minami explained the appearance of a girl with a look like she couldn’t be bothered.
If he likes her, too, she must be cute, yeah.
“I see…”
“Don’t worry, she seems the sentimental type.”
I don’t know why exactly that would make me stop worrying. Sometimes, she says the weirdest things.
“I remember there being some gal in middle school that was practically glued to him. I heard she’s attending the same school as him, so maybe she likes him?”
She did come to see him at work, so that girl must be one of the two Nanato told me about. I wonder, I really don’t want to lose against that gal for some reason. Nanato is in love with two girls, and they like him back. There’s no place for me to enter. He’s not even got me on his radar. There’s a saying going like “If you run after two hares, you will catch neither,” but they are chasing after him, too, allowing me no option. Except, this could be a case of a “Fishermen’s profit,” I guess.
“Minami, what do you think the phrase ‘Fishermen’s profit’ means?”
“When two people are fighting for one prey, a third one appears to snack it from them.”
“I see…”
Maybe this is what I should be working toward. While those two are fighting for him, I’m going to take him back while nobody notices. There’s definite value in this strategy, of course…
—Nanato—
“Maaan…”
Lunch break at school, I had so many things to worry about, a sigh escaped my mouth. Tsubasa and Reina…Cracks and fissures between them will negatively impact the friend group. I figured this would improve in a few days, but they were still not talking. Itsuki and Shibayu were acting all awkward too, so we as a whole just started talking less.
“Ah, Nanato-kun.”
“Hey, Nanato!”
They both called out to me at the same time. To the right was Tsubasa, with Reina to the left.
“I was first.”
“…That doesn’t matter. Don’t get too close to Nanato at school.”
Neither of them are willing to back down. But I also can’t pick sides here.
“Sorry, my stomach is acting up so I’m gonna head to the bathroom.”
I decided to run away and leave the classroom. I managed to make it to the restroom, but needless to say, I was doing just fine.
“Can’t take the easy way out anymore.” Itsuki walked over to me and warned me.
“I know. I gotta make a choice now.”
“Which one?”
Hearing his question, I returned an answer with a hand gesture.
“Heh, very much like you.”
“I need you to help me out when the time comes.”
“Leave it to me. I’m your ally.”
He really is a good guy. Surely, I might end up the bad guy, but he’ll have my back.
“You seem happy, Itsuki.”
“Let’s just say that’s my ideal answer.”
He seemed rather relieved and relaxed. I wish we could switch places.
*
With classes over, I headed for my part-time job at the crepe store. Luckily, after we all started working part-time, we didn’t get to spend much time together after school. This allowed me to keep a bit of distance to those two.
“Oh yeah, Amami? What did you think about Minami back then?”
Suzuki stood next to me as she asked me that random question. It’s not like we were giving each other the silent treatment anymore, but it still felt odd.
“I thought she was a bit weird. Always following after you, not talking much, yet always excited for whatever we did.”
In a way, she’s like Shibayu but without the same energy.
“Did you do something that would make her hate you?”
“I don’t think so. Actually, I saved her once when she got chased by a dog, and she thanked me all the time.”
“…That’s right. I remember how the two of you kept playing pranks on Hirose.”
“Yeah. Sure takes me back.”
I remembered all the fun days, as well as Susuki’s smile that I tried to forget.
“Do you have time after work today?” Susuki asked, seemingly a bit bashful.
“I do. Why?”
“There’s something I’d like to talk about. Mind tagging along with me a bit?”
“…Guess I can.”
I was a bit worried considering she was supposed to hate me, but she also willingly heard me out when I was seeking help, so I can’t decline.
“You can just say it if you don’t want to.”
“You heard me out the last time, so I gotta return the favor, right?”
“…Thanks.”
As she gave me her thanks, her profile looked angry, or maybe like she was lost in thought about something. I always saw her as lacking emotion, but I do remember liking that profile of hers.
Our work ended, so I headed outside the shopping mall with Susuki. The sun had begun to set, night was gradually approaching, and the scenery around us was quiet. We kept a bit of distance between the two of us, as we headed to the plaza with trees and flower beds all around, when Susuki suddenly stopped. But even after around three minutes had passed, she still wouldn’t even look at me.
“So, what did you want to talk about?”
Since she wouldn’t say another word, I saw it necessary to strike up the conversation.
“…There’s something I’d like to confirm with you.”
Her voice lacked her usual energy, weakened.
“About what?”
“When we broke up.”
“You mean when you said you didn’t know what it meant to date so you broke up with me?”
Just thinking about it hurts. She confessed to me, and I agreed that we should date. I was so excited I couldn’t sleep that day, and yet not even a week later, I was dropped from heaven to hell, spending another sleepless night but for a different reason.
“I do feel bad, but that was just a random reason.”
“Well, what’s done is done. Though it was a shock back then.”
Can’t go back to the past. Talking about the past won’t change a thing now.
“Two days after we started dating, Minami said she saw you going out with a girl from another middle school when she went to.”
“Say what?”
Her reason did not strike any memory within me. It was so ridiculous, I had no idea how to even react.
“And you…believed that?”
“Um, because…Well…” She teared up as she struggled to find the words.
I’ve never seen her weak like this.
“When I started going out with you, I was above the clouds! I was suddenly curious about things I never bothered about, like my body hair or scent! I was curious how I looked in your eyes, wondering what girls you were talking to, what you were up to after school…I never experienced something like this, so my feelings were all over the place.” Susuki frantically tried to explain her reasons.
I do understand how she feels, but I can’t exactly accept this so easily.
“But then, Minami said you were dating a girl from another middle school, and it messed me up so bad…I saw pictures and chats and all that, and the shock was so great I just started hating everyone and everything.”
So her feelings for me ended up a strong emotional support, but seeing that crushed it all.
“Just to let you know right away, but that was all baseless nonsense.”
Hearing my words, Susuki covered her face with her hands.
“It’s true that we were spending time together at the cram school and back in elementary, but she was just a friend who went to a different middle school. Our homes were relatively close, so we often talked, but she found someone she likes at her middle school, so she asked for my advice. Nothing more, nothing less. Back then, I only had eyes for you, after all.”
If she had just asked me, I could have told her the truth. Of course, there’s no telling what exactly Ootsuka told her and how much she influenced Susuki’s mind.
“…I guess so, yeah. I should have known that you weren’t the type of person to do such a thing. After some time passed, I realized that I overreacted.”
You can say that now, but it’s too late. It’s hard for me to just nod to that.
“I understand how you feel. If I went through the same thing, it might have left me in shock, too.”
That said, I wouldn’t have run away like her.
“I would have confronted you about this. Not blindly believe anything I hear.”
“You can say what you want. I know that I’m in the wrong.”
When I think that a blatant yet meaningless lie like that ruined our fun time together, it fills me with rage and fury.
“Ugh…Uuugh…”
“H-Hold on, don’t start crying on me now!”
She suddenly broke out in tears, crouching down on the spot. She was never the type of person to cry in front of others. To see her break down like this, she must be riddled with despair and regret. She might look strong on the outside, but she’s putting up a facade most of the time.
“Because…Because…”
“Anybody makes mistakes like that. I’m not angry anymore, and I’m just glad to know that you didn’t hate me or anything,” I said and gently rubbed her back.
With all the people around, I didn’t want to stay here longer than necessary.
“But…if I had just put more faith in you, nothing like that would have happened. I would have fallen in love with you even more, we’d always be together, and I’d been able to live a happy life…”
So she wanted to stay with everyone, just like me. Hearing that, my heart filled with regret.
“…I have nothing but regret right now.”
“It’s in the past. You can only learn from it and move on.” I took her hand and helped her get up.
Her knees were wobbly and weak, so I put my hand around her waist to help her stand.
“That said, I’m also standing at a crossroads right now.”
Looking at Susuki, plagued by regret for the choice she made, it made me think that I could end up the same way.
“You still can’t come up with an answer?”
“I did. Thanks to you. But I don’t know if it’s the right one.”
I wish I could save like this was a game and go back if I mess up, but reality doesn’t work that way. Life is always on the highest difficulty.
“U-Um, what I said before…I wasn’t joking or anything.”
Is she…talking about becoming my girlfriend?
“But you’d hate that, right?”
“You can just use me as you’d like. It’d be easy to explain since we work at the same place, and we’re in a similar position.” She grabbed my collar and pulled me closer like she wouldn’t let me escape. “Plus, if not for that misunderstanding, we might still be dating now, Nanato.”
She hadn’t called me by my first name in so long. And I found myself feeling happy about that.
“…I’ll think about it.”
“That’s just fine. And if you agree, we’ll do everything that we should have all those years ago.”
She looked at me, her gaze burning with passion. We never had any shared interests, our opinions were different, and we fought pretty often. However, we still were attracted to each other, and spending time with her was fun. It’s like all the feelings I had for her were slowly coming back—
—Ootsuka—
It looks like Ikumi’s off to ask Amami about the truth of what happened a year and a half ago. I had prepared myself for this day to come. The day my life would end…But now that it’s happening, I just had to laugh. When Ikumi started dating Amami, I thought I would lose the place I belonged. That’s why I lied to her about Amami going around two-timing, prepared a lot of proof to make her believe it, and eventually brought their relationship to an end. However, the damage had already been done, and our friendship in our group was ruined. Not only that, but Ikumi even started going crazy after losing Amami, and I lost everything I tried to protect.
So after all that, you can only laugh now, right? If the world were to end because of me, I’d just have to laugh about it. And once Ikumi finds out that I’m the Goddess of Destruction, we’re done for. So at the very least, I want to help her in some way. I won’t be able to repent, of course. I’m just doing this to satisfy myself. And even though I was such a horrible person, she still let me be with her. Fitting that I only bring misfortune to the people around me. So while my world is burning to the ground, I’ll try my best so that Ikumi can have Amami once again—
“Shiroki-saaan!”
Our shift was over, so I called out to Shiroki and stopped her.
“Wh-What’s up, Ootsuka-san?”
“I wanna talk about something. Can you tag along for a bit?”
I can’t physically deal with that woman. That purity she emits at any given moment is blinding my eyes.
“Yeah, of course. What’s wrong?”
“Thanks. You’re really kind. But that’s why it’s so easy to deceive you.”
“By whom?”
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
I took Shiroki outside the shopping hall, just like Ikumi did Amami earlier.
“You like that Amami person that came to visit a while ago, right?”
“S-Something like that. What about him?”
“My friend told me a lot about him. She’s dating this Amami-kun, and he always complains about being liked by someone called Tsubasa.”
“Huh? What are you talking about?” Shiroki’s face distorted in terror.
It’s the same expression Ikumi had that one time. No, I can’t laugh yet. I have to wait until she fully breaks apart.
“Do you mean Reina-san?”
“No. Not that gal, but a friend of mine. She’s a cute girl attending the same school as me.”
She must have imagined this Reina gal person or whatever, but that’s not quite right. Knowing her, she’s probably gonna cut off Amami as soon as she finds a better guy, so she shouldn’t be too attached to her current situation.
“Then Nanato-kun doesn’t have a girlfriend. I spent a lot of time with him, and I didn’t hear about any of that.”
“And I’m telling you he’s been dating her in secret. That’s how they always do it.”
“Nanato-kun isn’t the type of person to do such a thing.”
I thought she’d break right away, but she’s managed to keep herself afloat. I guess she can be a lot more stubborn than I thought.
“If you don’t stop lying right now, even I will get angry.”
“Then what’s that up there about?”
We walked down the path when we spotted Ikumi and Amami. They were holding hands, as she just stood up, Amami supporting her by holding her waist.
“Wha…”
“See. Just like I told you. No way they’re just normal friends.”
Oh crap, oh crap, the timing couldn’t be any better! Now she’ll definitely break. It’s like I smashed everything with a hammer.
“Look, look. He’s trash after all. Don’t you hate him?”
“Why…Nanato-kun…”
“I told you. He’s been dating my friend in secret. I wasn’t lying. You try to defend him, but he’s doing this behind your back. Isn’t he awful?” I swung the hammer to crush her hopes and dreams. “Just cut ties with that bastard. Being with him will only hurt more.”
“Ootsuka-san, can you shut up for a moment?”
“Huh?”
She sounded a lot colder and harsh than I’d known her for.
“If you keep insulting Nanato-kun like that, then we won’t be able to stay friends.”
“…Why are you still protecting him?”
“Because I’m the bad one. I didn’t even think about his feelings. Because we, Reina-san and I, cornered him so much, we forced him into a situation where he can’t possibly choose, and only hurt him. That’s why his feelings must have moved on to someone outside the group completely.”
I was trying to break her heart like a withered branch, but it wouldn’t snap.
“I knew he was heavily troubled by this. But, I became stubborn because I wanted him to choose me. Reina-san and I started fighting over him, forgetting about his own feelings of wanting to be friends with everyone. I can’t believe I only thought of myself…
“What are you talking about? You should just forget about him already!”
Break! Break already! Why aren’t you broken?!
“That’s my line. I never had any option like that from the very beginning. Or rather, I never had any right to be his wife the way I am right now.”
“So why don’t you give up? This is pathetic.”
Why aren’t you ruined? Did my efforts lackß Or is she too stubborn?
“I still think of myself as his fianceé. That’s why I can’t give up this easily.”
“Haha…Really now.”
What’s her deal? She’s not letting this go. And what’s the big deal about all that, anyway? Is this kind of despair really just a small block in the road for her? No matter what I say or do, she won’t break. She’s as tough as a diamond. My hammer isn’t enough to shatter anything. I see no chance of hurting her.
“Thanks for teaching me, Ootsuka-san. It really seems like I was only thinking about myself. But now, I’ve realized something important.”
“Y-You’re welcome…?”
Why is she thanking me? How did I help her? She’s the exact opposite of me. So dazzling and bright, I can’t directly look at her. If she’s the light, then I’m the darkness that is swallowed by her. She’s the opposite of me, who’s utter trash. Unable to bear with it, I looked away from her. And when I looked at myself in the shopping window, my face was a mess. I was far below the person I looked down upon. I felt the urge to vomit as I just crouched down on the spot.
“Are you kidding me…”
I tried to bring despair to Shiroki, yet I’m the one that got swallowed whole. Ahh, I see. I always thought that Ikumi had gone mad back then…but it was me all the time. What even is this? I can’t even laugh at myself.
I tried to run from Shiroki and dashed away. I holed myself up in the bathroom, groaning in pain. Checking my phone, I had missed several calls from Ikumi. She probably wants to confront me after learning the truth.
“What’s wrong?”
And since she had called me yet again, I answered the call with a quivering voice.
‘Where are you right now?’
Her voice was riddled with anger. She must utterly despise me right now.
“The public restroom near the plaza where you and Amami-kun talked.”
‘I’m heading there right now, so don’t you dare run away.’
“O-Okay…”
I hung up and tried to prepare myself, but the fear of being pushed away by Ikumi made me run after all.
“Where are you going?”
“Wha…?”
However, five seconds after dashing out of the restroom, she spotted me. She was out of breath, so she probably ran here to make sure I wouldn’t try to run.
“Why did you lie to me back then?”
“…I just wanted to protect my place! I thought you’d stop spending time with me after the two of you started dating!” I couldn’t control my emotions and instead latched out at her.
Even though she’s got all the right to be angry with me.
“I don’t buy that for one second. You just didn’t have any faith in me.”
“…You’re right. I can’t trust other people.”
Families cast you aside, friends throw you away, and even I betray those I care about. Let alone other people, I don’t even trust myself.
“Sorry, I ruined everything for you…”
“Give it back! Give me back my treasure!” She slapped me right across the face.
Since she’s trained in karate, that one slap really sent tremors through my brain. But, it feels refreshing. I’ve always felt guilty for my actions, so it’s like I’ve been freed from the burden.
“Don’t ever get involved with me again.”
She declared the end of our friendship. I did something so grotesque, there was nothing more that I could fix.
“Okay, I get it.”
“So you knew this would happen…You really are human waste.”
“Sure do. I was forcefully reminded of it.”
“I have so many things I want to say to you, but I can’t even stand to see your face anymore.”
She turned her back to me. I don’t think we’ll ever even talk again.
“Knowing the truth, do you want to go out with Amami-kun again?”
“…”
She didn’t give me an answer. This, however, was all I needed to hear.
“I really think you should give up on that.”
“I’m not going to listen to your words ever again.”
“But this time, it’s the truth.”
I don’t want to hurt her anymore, nor do I want her to get hurt. That’s why I want her to know the facts.
“You can’t beat Shiroki Tsubasa.”
She didn’t turn around and just disappeared into the darkness. But, I at least told her. Shiroki Tsubasa possesses a light nobody could erase. And I’m sure that Ikumi will grow to fear that light and run away after all…
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