Kurasu no Daikirai na Joshi to Kekkon Suru Koto ni Natta Volume 6 Chapter 1

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Denial

Akane stood at the front entrance of her home. Up to this point, she always saw Saito as the boy she despised the most, so living together with him was somewhat manageable for her. However, now that she had realized how she truly felt, this was awfully embarrassing. Horrifically so. She didn’t even know what kind of face to make when running into him, reaching the point she was frozen stiff out of worry that she might do something awkward. In fact, she had a hunch that had been the case for a while now. As Akane never had any experience in love, the situation of being married to the boy she loves and even living together with him was too stimulating for her.

—Calm down…I just have to act the same way as always. He’s just green stuff. And since he’s green stuff, he’s not human. I don’t have any reason to be worried about him.

A rude thought crossed her mind, which she used to calm herself down. A deep breath later, she opened the front door.

“Oh, welcome back.”

Half-naked Saito stood in the hallway, drinking a protein shake. He had a towel wrapped around his waist, still a bit wet from the bath he possibly had been in a few moments prior, acting like an old man at a hot spring.

“What in the world are you doing?!” Akane instantaneously covered her sight with her student bag.

“Drinking a protein shake?” Saito bluntly responded.

“I can tell as much! I’m asking you why you’re naked!”

“Because I’m slowly becoming one with mother nature?”

“We’re inside a man-built house! There’s no mother nature here!”

Saito sighed.

“This is my home, so I’m free to do what I want. Nobody’s looking, either.”

“I’m being forced to look right at this very moment!”

“You’ve seen me wearing less at the pool and during swimming classes, right?”

“Maybe, but still!”

Since she was now fully conscious of him as a boy, the way she saw things changed completely. On top of that, it was just the two right now, so naturally, Akane’s heart was pounding.

—Also…he’s quite muscular…

She couldn’t hold the urge of taking a peek at Saito’s physique, as she remembered the time he carried her to the hospital.

“…Wanna see more?”

Saito asked Akane with a dubious tone, to which she once again hid her face behind her student bag. She felt her face burning up like it was on fire, as she roared in anger.

“No, thank you! Wear some clothes, or I’ll peel the skin off you!”

“Roger!” Saito dashed up the stairs like a terrified rabbit.

Akane was left behind, crouching down on the floor as she held her head.

—I…did it again…

She didn’t mean to threaten him, but as their regular fight broke out, she found herself back in that same mindset. As they were mortal enemies not too long ago, it was hard to flip the switch into accepting that she now had feelings for him. Especially her words that shot out faster than she could think. If she kept going like this, she’d never be able to win against her rival in love, Himari. Undoubtedly, Saito saw Akane as an assassin, a cold-blooded murderer, or maybe even the Demon Lord reincarnated.

She dropped her shoulders in defeat as she went up to the second floor herself, putting her student bag into her personal study room. She went back down to head to the toilet when she spotted Saito standing in the laundry room, equipped with a washing machine, a drier, and several shelves. Saito was currently busy taking laundry out of the basket.

“Wh-What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna do the laundry…We’ve ended up with a lot by now.”

“You’re going to fool around with my underwear?!”

“I mean, don’t we always take turns?”

“That’s not the problem here, you pervert!”

“Why am I a pervert?!”

Even as they had yet another argument, Saito continued to fish for more underwear. If left alone, he’d eventually reach Akane’s bra and panties. It was a battle against time. Seeing no other option, Akane snatched the basket from Saito.

“You are a pervert! Y-You probably want to use this as an excuse to have your way with my underwear, put it on your head, and e-e-eat it, right?!”

“I don’t have any disposition that would allow me to digest fabric!”

“Liar! You’re a monster who’d casually munch up any girl’s clothes as long as you feel like it!”

“I’d be less of a monster and more like a desperate beast.”

“You don’t have to do the laundry! Just let me handle it!”

“I mean, I won’t stop you if you’re that adamant on it…” Saito seemed a bit bothered but peacefully left the laundry room.

This allowed Akane to sigh in relief. She put all the underwear on the ground and started separating it when she realized yet another problem arrived.

—Wait, so now I have to wash Saito’s underwear?!

The thought of having Saito see her underwear prompted Akane to steal the laundry basket from him, but now that she had gotten her thoughts under control again, she realized that she backed herself into a corner and was now forced to wash Saito’s underwear for him, too.

—So we both touched each other’s underwear up to this point?! We’re both perverts!

Akane buried her face in a towel as she groaned to counteract the embarrassment. She had always been acting this way, she just never realized.

—B-But…I have to do it. We’re living together, after all…And splitting the underwear would be too much work…

Akane steeled her resolve and took out Saito’s underwear from the basket. She told herself that she was doing what was necessary, trying to drown out her embarrassment. She grabbed the underwear with graciousness like she was defusing a bomb, as she put it on the hanger. Same for his socks, pants, and shirts.

—That reminds me…Since we’re washing the laundry together, it means that my sweat is mixing with Saito’s whenever we put our stuff in the laundry basket! And we’re then wearing the clothes again?! We’re absolute perverts!

Akane realized yet another crucial aspect she had not paid attention to before. Through actively washing the laundry, most of the sweat would be removed from the clothes, but that wasn’t a perfect process. Their genes were glued to the other person’s clothes. And the more she thought about it, the more she suffered in agony. The same was the case for bowls and cups. They weren’t strictly limiting them to one person, so some of their saliva would still be stuck to it. In a way, it could even reach up to an indirect kiss. Akane’s eyes began spinning because she couldn’t handle the situation when Saito took a peek inside the laundry room.

“Oh, by the way, I left the water in the bathtub, so you can take one once you’re done with this.”

“You’re telling me to use the same bathwater as you?!” Akane tightly embraced Saito’s shirt as she staggered backward against the wall.

“Aren’t you always doing that?”

“I will sue you for sexual harassment!”

“My lawyers will crush you in the cross-examination, so I dare you. Also, why? A normal family always uses the same bath water, right?”

“If I were to use the same bath water you used, it’d be the same as we’d be embracing each other naked!”

“How does that even remotely make any sense?!” Saito’s ears turned red.

“It does! It’d be like we’re doing l-lewd stuff!”

“Not in the slightest?! And what about hot springs then, huh?”

“It…it’d be like a huge group…activity…”

“All right, I get it. That thought genuinely terrifies me, so let’s cut it off here.” Saito pulled the E-brake. “If you hate the idea that much, then I’ll just heat up some fresh water instead.”

Akane watched Saito walk past her, as a sharp pain ran through her chest.

“Y-You don’t have to…I don’t actually hate it, I’d be pretty happy…” Akane barely finished her sentence as she realized what she’d even just said and slammed her head against the wall.

“Akane?! What’s wrong?!” Saito voiced genuine concern.

“Nothing…I just felt like having a match with this wall here…”

“I don’t think a person’s skull can beat a solid concrete wall.”

“Mine can.” Akane smiled.

“But your forehead is bleeding.”

“It’s my medal of victory.”

“Right-o…”

Saito sent Akane a warm gaze, most likely realizing that there was nothing else to be said, and walked away…Or rather, it seemed more like he was trying to escape.

—He definitely thinks I’m some weird girl now!

Akane’s fingers were quivering as she hung up Saito’s shirt to let it dry. Her actions didn’t correlate with her thoughts at all, today. She finally realized how she’s felt all this time, but it was looking like the distance between the two was growing only further.

“I have to do something…and quickly.” Akane lowered her body into the warm bathwater as she muttered to herself.

This was the same bathwater that Saito used not too long ago. Akane simply didn’t wish to waste money on the gas bill, which is why she hurried to take a bath after him. There was no ulterior motive to be found in her actions. The truth however was as plain as day, as well as the fact that Akane would make an awful lawyer who’d probably get destroyed and roasted by a witness. The proof of that was the fact Akane’s body grew hotter the more she thought about it. And she knew full well that this heat didn’t come from just the hot water.

At the very least, she wanted to cook some delicious dinner and make Saito happy that way. That should allow her to make up for the many mistakes she made up to this point. With new-found determination, Akane got out of the bath, dried her body and hair, and added a bit of makeup on her face, as well as some lip gloss. She was perfectly aware that this much amount of care was unnatural, but the fact that she felt embarrassed was washed away quickly because of her sheer joy.

After all, she could finally get to taste what love was truly like, and why it had all the girls in the world go crazy. After the forced marriage, Akane assumed she’d never get involved with true love like this, but now she found someone she likes, and she was even married to him. If not for this ridiculous enforcement from her grandmother, she probably would’ve never even caught on to her feelings, and they’d be mortal enemies right about now.

“…I gotta work hard.” She clapped her hands on her cheeks and stepped out of the changing room.

Meanwhile, Saito was still bewildered at Akane’s attitude. Since she had been quite feisty over the past few days, he wanted to soothe her mood even the slightest bit and opted to help do the chores at home. He cleaned the bathtub, went to take a bath, and wanted to continue doing the laundry. And yet, all of it had the opposite effect. Akane loathed him for taking a bath and stole the laundry basket from him. It felt like the affection his wife had for him was slowly reaching a freezing point.

—Please tell me…where did I go wrong? Maybe I can never live in this house in peace ever again?

Saito felt true despair. As of late, the two had just been fighting non-stop, it felt like their relationship changed shape into a whole battlefield with no victor at the end. He formed a fist to make up his resolve and entered the kitchen. Inside there, Akane was passionately preparing dinner. Her hand cutting the onions was swift and smooth, as she walked back and forth with her apron swaying at every move. Saito sat down on a chair and awkwardly spoke up.

“Y-Yo, what will you be making for dinner, if I may ask?”

“Can’t you tell by looking? And why are you talking like a weirdo?!”

—It’s ‘cause I’m carefully choosing my words so that you’re not throwing a bottle at me!

Or so he’d like to say, but he didn’t want to risk losing a finger as a result of another one of Akane’s outbursts, so he stayed quiet.

“Man, I can’t wait for your cooking, Akane-san! It’s seriously the best!”

“Akane-san?! Did you eat something weird on your way home?!” Akane showed a baffled reaction.

This battle was everything right now, and yet it seemed like he was treating her as a stranger. Saito just shrugged his shoulders in return.

“I wouldn’t dare eat anything else when your delicious food is waiting for me!”

“R-Really? Are you that excited for it?” Akane’s cheeks grew flushed, as she fidgeted with her hair.

Saito saw his chance and doubled down.

“Of course. Your cooking is the best in the entire world!”

“In…the entire world?”

“After tasting your cooking, I can’t eat anybody else’s anymore! Just make miso soup for me every single day¹, oh glorious chef Akane!”

“If you praise me any more than this, I’ll kill you!”

“This isn’t gonna hold up in court, and you know it!” Saito screamed in terror at a threat only Akane would ever even let loose. Her face was beet-red, easily conveying the rage she was probably filled with. She turned her back towards Saito and continued cutting the carrots on her cutting board. And yet, her hips were swaying left and right, as if she was happy.

“W-Well, I don’t mind doing that. In fact, aren’t I already cooking for you every morning? But, that kind of pick-up attempt is a bit old-fashioned, no? Like, can’t you come up with something a bit more romantic²? W-Well, I can tell you tried, at least!”

“……?” Saito couldn’t help but turn his head in confusion at that statement.

He had no clue what to even feel anymore.

“Um…so, you’re not angry at me?”

“Of course I’m not!”

And yet she said it with a furious expression.

“Then…do you like me?”

“Eeek?!” Akane’s hand she held the knife in slipped, as a red liquid dripped down from her finger.

“Are you okay?!”

“It’s your fault because you said something weird! N-N-No way I would like you! We’re mortal enemies, nothing more and nothing less! I’m the lion and you’re the rat!”

“Why am I the one who’s about to get eaten?!”

Akane swung her bloody finger around as she once again roared in anger.

“I wouldn’t eat you! Get your rosy mind out of the gutter!”

“There was nothing rosy nor lewd about this! Can you do something about your bleeding finger first?!”

“Blood?! What are you talking about?!”

“I’m talking about the goddamn red Niagara falls that’s coming out of your finger!” Saito couldn’t bear to watch this any longer and wrapped his hand around Akane’s finger.

“Huh…? S-Saito, what are you…That’s so sudden…” Akane grew flustered.

It was an oddly adorable expression for her, but Saito didn’t have the time to enjoy it. Her finger was still bleeding.

—Was my wife always this clumsy?

Saito was forced to doubt his entire world, tightly pushing his fingers on Akane’s to stop the bleeding. Unlike his own, Akane’s fingers were small and adorable.

“It’d be bad if you got an infection from this. You go wash it off with some water, and I’ll grab a disinfectant and a bandage.”

“You don’t have to do all that much! It’ll heal eventually.”

“Don’t play tough…What if you lose a finger and it’ll impact your studies?”

“Why are you being this kind to me?! I’m not that cheap of a woman! Even you won’t win me over that easily!” Akane emitted clear caution as she took her distance from Saito.

Her back curled up, and her nails shone brightly like she was a cat that went full defensive mode. Meanwhile, Saito felt genuinely hurt as he possessed no ulterior motive and simply wanted to escape this hellish scene. As he surmised before, something about Akane was definitely odd today. Saito sighed in disbelief and left the kitchen.

Staying close to Akane while things were this way would only endanger them both, so he escaped to his study room and opted to read a book. The new release of a mystery novel he was reading just came out, so the timing couldn’t have been better. Needless to say, Saito would usually figure out the criminal from the prologue itself, but this author always threw wrenches into Saito’s assumptions, giving hints through metaphors and old symbols that made it harder to follow the tracks.

—Reading is great…It gives me peace and a breakaway from all the troubles of the real world.

Right as Saito was indulging in some much-needed tranquility, he heard an explosive noise coming from downstairs.

“What happened?!”

He stormed inside the kitchen, only to find Akane preparing the plates on the table with a confident smirk on her face.

“I just finished dinner.”

“And what was that noise just now?!”

“I just had to add a final touch with gaso…Nothing. It’s a trade secret.”

“Gasoline?! You better have not! So the food exploded because you poured gasoline over it?! Like you’re putting wine on steak?!”

“I wouldn’t do something as dangerous as that. Do you have no common sense?”

“I came here running because I heard an explosion, so don’t put this around on me…” Saito felt restless.

That being said, he couldn’t pick up any leftover scent in the kitchen, so it must have been a different noise he heard. Although he was still dubious as to how an explosion like that would be needed while cooking.

“Eat up.”

A black lump remained on the plate Akane pointed at with a smirk. Truly, it was darker than black, like you’d gathered all the evil in the world to put it into one single object.

—Is that…charcoal?!

Saito doubted his eyes, but there was no way Akane would fail a dinner to such a level. It may look like pure charcoal, but it had to taste magnificent.

“What…kind of dish is this?” Saito gulped as he asked.

“Charcoal.”

“It actually is?!”

“What else would this be other than charcoal? Are your eyes okay?” Akane showed clear disgust.

“Why am I on the receiving end of all this?! I’m the one who’s worried about you!” Saito fought back with all he had. “Why would you even make me eat pure charcoal? Do you hate me that much?”

“It’s…it’s your fault for getting all carried away! Don’t think for a second that I’ll just be there for you to cook delicious food. Because that’s not gonna happen! We’re rivals! You should just be content with being fed charcoal!” Akane crossed her arms and looked away.

Contrary to her attitude, her wars were crimson red.

“Well…that makes sense. I guess I was acting too spoiled. I was just enjoying your food every single day that I saw it as a given for you to cook for me. I guess I earned this…”

“H-Hold on, you don’t have to be so dejected about it…”

“I get it. I’ll take responsibility and eat this charcoal.” Saito prepared himself, as well as his stomach.

He picked up the piece of charcoal with his chopsticks, carrying it to his mouth. Readying himself for a taste awful enough to make his tongue go numb, Saito’s body tensed up.

“This charcoal is…tasty?!” Saito’s eyes shot open in disbelief.

Meanwhile, Akane let out a confident snicker.

“Of course! Did you really think I would cook anything nasty?”

“I mean, this still is charcoal, but…I guess so. It is pretty good.”

Saito stopped thinking about the smaller details and just focused on the taste itself. When he thought of the crunchy consistency as a simple snack, there was no problem either, and the jet-black color was comparable to that of squid ink, which he could also forgive. Not long after, Saito finished his wife’s homemade charcoal fully.

Even as the night progressed, Akane didn’t come to their bedroom. Worried that Akane might overdo her studying again to the point she’d collapse, Saito opened the bedroom door and stepped out onto the hallway. He immediately ran into the girl in question, crouched down on the floor only for her to now shoot up straight.

“…Akane? What are you doing there?”

“M-Mentally…preparing myself?”

“What would you need that for?”

“To sleep…”

“Sleeping doesn’t require any mental preparation. Just go to bed, we’ve got school tomorrow.” Saito pressed her with the doorknob still in hand, but Akane kept on fidgeting, not moving from her spot.

She simply looked up at Saito with a beet-red face.

“B-But…Isn’t it too lewd…that we’re sleeping next to each other?”

“We’ve been sleeping together every single day since we moved in here.”

Saito didn’t understand where the problem was.

“That’s just weird! We may be married…but sleeping in the same bed…it’s just indecent!” Akane tightly put her thighs together as she muttered in a fleeting voice.

Hearing that, even Saito began to feel flustered, as his body grew hotter. They indeed were doing something extraordinarily bold, but he had tried his best to not think about it.

“It’s your loss if you think about it! Our grandparents said to sleep together, so doing it is our only choice!”

“Doing what?!”

“Sleeping, of course!” Saito grabbed Akane’s hand and pulled her inside the bedroom.

“H-Hey! How dare you drag a girl to your bed like this?!”

“This is your bed, too! Stop talking nonsense and lie down!”

“No! I want a more romantic setting!”

Akane kept on fighting against Saito’s grip, blurting out absolute nonsense. He tried to add more strength to give her one final pull, but that backfired as the both of them fell into the bed. Saito was lying upward in the bed, with Akane on top of his chest. Her breasts, only covered by her nightgown, were pressed directly on his chest muscles. Following that, a sweet scent of strawberry reached up to him from her neck. A sweet breath escaped her lips, acting like poison to numb Saito’s mind.

“That…hurt…”

“…!”

A sharp pain ran through Saito’s heart. They were both lying on the same bed as always, on the sheets drenched in their scents, currently embracing each other. It took Saito longer than usual to grasp what was going on.

“S-Sorry, are you hurt?”

“You sex offender!” Akane jumped up with tears in her eyes, as she slammed one pillow right onto Saito.

She continued for a few more hits, but the fluffy pillow inflicted zero damage in total.

“I’m not a sex offender! This was just an accident!”

“And an accident would make it fine if I got pregnant from this?!”

“But you aren’t pregnant, so what’s the problem!”

“Well, I may be?!”

“We were just hugging each other! Are you still that much of a child you believe the stork delivers the children?!”

“Children! You say children?! So maybe I am pregnant! What are we gonna name it?!”

“Calm down! You understand English, right?! Please, tell me you’re able to understand basic language!” Saito pleaded like he was put on the stand to defend himself from his wife’s false accusations, but Akane had already lost it and lived in her own world.

She let out screams that were hard to put into actual words, jumped off the bed, and escaped out onto the hallway.

“Where are you going?!”

“To the west coast of America!”

“To LA?! At this time?!”

The final flight outside Japanese borders must have left already, not to mention the buses not driving that far this late. However, Akane didn’t go to Santa Monica but instead returned with a mountain of goods in her arms. These goods weren’t traveling goods like clothes and the such, but the necessary objects for work at home. They included a hammer, pliers, long rectangular wood, a large amount of drawing pins and nails, as well as an electric drill.

“Are we doing some torture fever night or something?!”

Saito shot up, trying to escape through the window, but he was too late. She had already turned on the drill. The shrill noise of the drill filled Saito with fear, as Akane declared with a voice cold as ice.

“Saito…it’s time to sleep.”

“In the forever box?!”

He couldn’t think of anything else after seeing her equipment at hand.

“I’ll build a barricade between us, so that you won’t assault me…”

“I wasn’t planning on doing that either way?!”

“I know. But it’s time to build borders.” Akane placed the drawing pins in the center of the bed.

“You don’t get it! One wrong move and you’re in for a world of hurt!”

“I just have to sit still and never move again!”

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

“I can do it…because humanity has been blessed with packing tape!” She pulled out some packing tape and approached Saito.

“I knew it! This is torture!”

That statement alone was the final nail in the coffin for Saito. He wanted to at least leave behind a final message, so he searched for his phone, but Akane laughed like a villain.

“Looking for this, Mr. Depp?” In her hand, she held Saito’s smartphone.

“Elai—No, Akane?! When did you snatch that?!”

“I’ll be keeping this toy on me for a while. I can’t have you take embarrassing pictures of me while I’m asleep.”

“I wouldn’t do that!”

“I bet you’re taking pictures of my sleeping face!”

“…I would never.”

That being said, Saito definitely felt the urge to do that several times. Her cuteness just was against the rules. Meanwhile, said “cute” girl was busy turning a wooden plank into what resembled a metal bat and putting it down in the middle of the bed. She placed a mountain of books on top of that, but it looked close to breaking apart any second. She probably wanted to be absolutely sure, so she added some extra goods into the mountain to have them act as the eyes of a scarecrow. That being said, Saito was no bird by any means.

“Now I can sleep peacefully. Let’s head to bed, yes?”

The barricade was completed, and Akane placed the drill next to her bed.

“No way I can sleep at all like this. I won’t be getting any rest!”

The electronic drill still growled ever so faintly, creating a threatening atmosphere.

“Would you like me to sing you a lullaby?”

“No thanks!”

“Leave it to me! Little Saaaito’s entire booody will end up in taaaters~”

“You are definitely gonna torture me!”

His wife awakened to some new kind of torture, which left Saito sleepless the whole night.

Upon arriving at school, Akane entered the classroom of class 3-A, with only Saito present so far. Even as their eyes met, her heart rate spiked, and she reflexively ran out into the hallway again. She pressed her back against the wall and pressed her hand on her chest, once again thinking about how this could have happened. Before she was aware of her feelings, she had no problem dealing with him. And yet, whenever she looked at his face now, all these feelings inside of her exploded, leaving her unable to hold a proper conversation.

Before this, she’d be fine playing games with him at home, watching movies together, and just spending time in peace, but lately, she’d just run to her study room whenever they finished dinner. Whenever it was just them two, she didn’t know what to say, but she was also equally afraid to say something weird. She was scared to openly state her own feelings. She was terrified of the possibility that he might hate her.

—Maybe I would have been better off not realizing how I felt…

If that had been the case, she would be able to spend her time with Saito the same way as before. Play with him, sleep next to him, and just live with him in peace. That being said, unawareness could’ve led to someone else stealing Saito away from her, too. And that possibility was even more terrifying to her. After all, Saito was quite popular. Then again, that was to be expected, since even Akane, who had no interest in love, found herself falling for him. And because her head was riddled with thoughts that pulled her away from reality, she didn’t even catch on to Shisei appearing in front of her. She didn’t say a word and just stared at Akane.

“Sh-Shisei-san? What’s wrong?”

“…Akane, did you finally realize?”

“R-Realize what?” Akane was bewildered.

“That you like Brother.”

“…?!”

Her heart was already in an unstable state, and now it only fluttered further. Her entire body burned up, her cheeks turning crimson red.

“Wh-What might you be talking about?! I’m not quite sure I follow?!”

“So you did realize. Not too long ago, you would have screamed about how much you hate him.”

“I hate him!”

“What part of him?”

That question came out of the blue, which made it hard for Akane to think of something. Now that she had come to terms with her feelings, all the minor flaws Saito had felt like a joke, even though they fought so much not too long ago.

“That’s…well…there’s a lot to hate about him!” Akane argued with a cheesy argument.

“Is that so?”

Seeing that she managed to satisfy Shisei, Akane sighed in relief. Shisei stepped inside the classroom and immediately jumped on Saito’s lap, looking up.

“Let me tell you something great, Brother. Akane actually—”

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaah?!” Akane stormed inside and pulled Shisei away from Saito.

“Likes mguh! Because mguhgh!”

Shisei fought to finish her sentence, but Akane immediately shoved a whole lunch box into her mouth and physically made it impossible for her to utter another word. Following that, she dragged Shisei out of the classroom. She stormed inside an empty classroom nearby, made sure that nobody followed, and put Shisei down again. Even if Shisei was relatively small, she was still another person, so Akane was breathing heavily.

“To think Akane would one day abduct Shise.” Shisei shivered like a cold baby.

“It’s because you’re trying to tell Saito that I like him!”

“So you do like him?”

“Ack…” Akane hurriedly covered her mouth.

She confessed how she felt without meaning to.

“You don’t have to try and hide it. Shise knew all this time.”

“Wh-Why…”

Not only Himari, but even Shisei was aware of Akane’s feelings all along. This made her worry if she was too obvious when it came to that. It’d be awful if Saito himself realized.

“As someone who watches Brother, Shise would know.”

“What…”

What did she mean by that? Was she referring to the fact that she could feel other people’s gazes because she was always with him?

“Why aren’t you telling Brother?”

“How could I?! We’ve been enemies this entire time! I said so many cruel things to him, and hurt him countless times, there’s no way he doesn’t hate me. Even if I confessed now, he’d just reject me flat-out…” Akane tightly put her hands together.

She declared herself Himari’s rival in love, but Akane was unsure if she could even reach up to become a rival. Himari worked hard to become friendly with Saito, whereas Akane started from a minus.

“Then Shise will tell him instead.” Shisei was about to dash out of the room, only to have her wrist grabbed by Akane.

“That’s even worse! That’ll put me at too much of a disadvantage! He’ll grasp my weakness and force me to listen to whatever demand he has!”

“What kind of demand? To cook food for him every day?”

“I’m already doing that.”

“Then, what?” Shisei tilted her head.

“L-Lewd stuff, I guess?”

Even saying it out loud was too embarrassing for Akane, she mumbled it with reddened ears. Shisei continued to stare at Akane with her gemstone eyes.

“Do you not want to do that sort of thing with Brother?”

“Th-That’s…Well…Um…”

She reached the limit of her embarrassment and crouched down while covering her burning cheeks. Just imagining it made her heart race painfully fast, and she felt dizzy.

“If only Brother got to see you right now.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Shise just thinks you’re a bit clumsy, Akane.”

“I sure am…”

Ever since she was in grade school, she was never good at forming human relationships with people outside her family. She managed to do somewhat fine with Himari, but that was mostly because Himari did the most work. Without her, and especially with a boy, Akane was a lost cause. She stood up again and grabbed Shisei’s hands.

“Anyway, please don’t tell Saito about my feelings. If he finds out, I will die.”

“That’d be bad. Shise likes Akane.”

“Th-Thanks.” Akane grew flustered again.

She felt jealous because she couldn’t be as honest with her feelings as Shisei was. In return, she began drooling.

“And if you want Shise to stay quiet, you need to supply her with food for an equivalent exchange.”

“Fine. What would you like to eat?”

“You.”

“Who’s gonna cook for you, then?” Akane shivered in fear.

“Hamburger steak, then.”

“Noted.”

Shisei opened her fingers and started counting.

“Steak, okonomiyaki, pizza, gratin, miso soup, spaghetti carbonara, crape, and Akane, too.”

“We’ll go one at a time. Also, I’m not part of the menu.”

They discussed conditions as they stepped out of the empty classroom.

—Akane is definitely avoiding me, right?

Saito sat on a bench in the courtyard, thinking to himself. Right as she came into the classroom this morning, she immediately ran away when she saw him. At home, she’d always hide in her own room, spending less and less time with him. And at the same time, Saito was confused as to why this hurt him so much. Not being insulted or hurt by her should be a positive thing, and also allow him to use his time more efficiently.

—Like I’m living alone and by myself, yeah.

It was the same when he still stayed at his family’s home. His parents treated him like he didn’t exist. They didn’t pay any attention to him, not even talking to him. No harsh interactions, but equally no kindness, either. Remembering this, Saito felt a spark of pain run through his chest. His parents were a far-cry from the examples he’d see in movies or in real life.

“Onii-chan!”

He suddenly heard a voice close by, as his ears screamed in pain.

“Waaaah?!”

Together with a shriek, Saito jolted up. Looking around, he spotted Maho biting into his ear, flapping about like a fish that just got caught up.

“What are you doing?!”

“Mngh! Mgnh ngh mgnh!”

“No clue what you just said. Let go of my ear already!”

“Mgh!”

“I’m going deaf if you keep going next to my ear!” Saito forcefully peeled Maho off him.

Any longer and his earlobes would have stretched out like gum, and Maho’s saliva was slowly dripping deeper inside.

“This is my punishment for you!” Maho pointed at Saito.

“What did you do to me?!”

“This is my line! What the hell did you do to Onee-chan?! Something’s definitely weird about her behavior! It’s gotta be your fault!”

“I’m just as troubled since I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”

The Houjou Family possessed a memory greatly surpassing that of the average person, and yet Saito had no recollection of doing anything. Maho sat down next to him.

“Mhm, I thought she’s angry because you and Himarin kissed, but she said that wasn’t the reason.”

“Not like that’s something she’d get angry over in the first place.”

“Maybe you fondled her boobs while she was sleeping?”

“That…I didn’t do that…I think?”

Since he had no way of knowing what he did when he was asleep, it was hard for him to tell.

“You took off her clothes while she was asleep, had her wear a maid uniform, and forced her into embarrassing services?! You’re such a pervert, Onii-chan!”

“That I most definitely did not do! I’d have to be awake for all that!”

Maho started thinking and put a hand on her chin.

“No, a super perverted playboy like you would manage that…That one night, I also stripped you naked while I was asleep…Apparently.”

“That testament definitely won’t hold up in court!”

“Are you denying that steamy night we spent together has never happened?!”

“And stop trying to falsify my claims! You were bedridden because of your fever, that’s all!”

“Oh yeah! Thanks for carrying me to the hospital, by the way.” Maho smiled and embraced Saito.

“I swear…”

She constantly put more trouble on Saito’s plate, but since she was almost too good and caring of a girl, he could never find himself genuinely resenting her. She may have given him a punishment, but it was all because she deeply cared about her sister³.

“I wonder how we could make Akane cheer up…”

“You definitely can’t do that!” Maho said without a glimmer of hesitation.

“No need to be so blunt about it.”

“I mean, you’re a virgin! To you, Onee-chan’s like the Demon Lord of girls. You never dated a girl, so you definitely can’t do it!” Maho snickered⁴.

“I guess so…”

Knives bore into Saito’s chest. She brought her face closer to him and flashed a captivating smile.

“…I still think we should get married. I’m pretty easy, you know? I fell in love with you just because you treated me kind once.”

“R-Right…”

Her blunt words packed an impressive punch and Saito didn’t know how to respond. In a good and bad way, it was terrifying how she could be as straightforward as she is. She followed that up by whispering into Saito’s ear.

“But, that only works for you, y’know? This is the first time I fell in love with a boy, after all.”

“Because you treat all the other guys as servants.”

“And? Are you happy that a beauty like me is being this open about her feelings for you?”

“Not at all.”

“Liar~ Your face is red!” She said and poked her finger at Saito’s cheek.

She was obviously teasing him, but he wasn’t too bothered by it because she harbored no ill intent.

“Your face is red, too.”

Saito wanted to fight back at least a small bit, to which Maho showed a similarly flustered expression.

“I mean, I’m flirting around with the boy I like, you can’t blame me.”

“We’re not flirting.”

“Then would this count as flirting instead?” Maho interlocked her arm with Saito’s.

“Will you drop it already?”

“No can do! You don’t hate it either, right? And if you don’t get angry at me for real, I won’t let go!” Maho hummed in a good mood.

Saito didn’t try to resist any further and just let her do as she pleased. He always admired the idea of having a younger sister because of Shisei’s existence.

“Then give me some advice. I want your sister to cheer up. You should know what would work best, right?”

“Sure do! Just leave it to me!” She proudly puffed out her chest.

“Normally, she’d cheer up as long as she gets anything related to strawberries, but that didn’t even work this time around. She just takes it and stays in her study room. That just raises the difficulty, so I don’t know what to do,” Saito argued.

“She’s probably gotten tired at this point.”

“Of her beloved strawberries?”

“Of the human being called Onii-chan.”

“That’s a bit cruel, isn’t it?!”

Saito suffered a large amount of damage after a single strike. Rather than being hated, the thought of being cast away hurt a lot more. Meanwhile, Maho crossed her arms and nodded.

“It’s just her lethargic period. This is where you’ll start to become a Kamen couple, go to random Kamen stage events, tainted by the Kamen monster, and Kamen Onee-chan will have to free Kamen Onii-chan with a Rider Kick…”

“Hold on, what are you talking about?”

Saito felt like he was being left in the dust, so he pulled the brakes.

“Basically, you can’t be acting like some impotent dude if you wanna get her out of her lethargy!”

“I don’t have that condition. Not to mention that Akane and I never did something like that in the first place!”

“So making babies doesn’t count as doing lewd stuff?! Did you tame her that much?! Waaah, give me back my innocent older sister!” Maho shook Saito.

“I’m getting tired of this…” He grabbed Maho’s shoulder with an iron claw and stopped her.

She sunk back down on the bench.

“I’m calm now!”

“I don’t get you…”

Saito felt utterly exhausted after a few minutes of Maho’s presence. She simply had too much energy.

“Anyway, that whole lethargy thing is the truth.”

“Seriously…”

“It’s important for a married couple to share hugs, kisses, and generally any kind of expression of love. Did you do anything like that to Onee-chan since you two got married?”

“If I did, I would be six feet under right about now.” Saito valued his safety over almost everything else.

Hearing that, Maho swung her finger.

“You’re such a no-good, Onii-chan! This is why she’s gonna file for a divorce.”

“Which she hasn’t yet, mind you.”

Then again, Saito felt like it was only a matter of time.

“For now, wanna practice with me? I’ll let you practice whatever you want!” Maho placed her hand on Saito’s lap, pushing her lips closer toward him.

A sweet fragrance drifted towards him from her lips looking as soft as gum.

“Not like I would ever use what I learned in my practice.”

“No need to hold back! You’ve got a chance to kiss a super beauty like me, and that won’t come often, let me tell you!”

Maho moved in close range at a distance their lips were about to touch, whispering at him with a seductive tone. Her eyes looked brimming with joy, playing around with Saito like he was her toy. At that moment, Saito felt the urge to deliver a bit of payback. When he went on the initiative to hug her that one time, she acted oddly flustered. She was fine being on the pushing side, but the receiving end made her weak.

“Then…I guess I should take you up on that offer.” He grabbed her chin with his fingers.

“Huh?! W-Wait, for real?!” Maho panicked.

“For real, for real. You offered to let me practice as much as I want, right? I’m not gonna let you go even if you’re begging for quits mid-way through,” he said and slowly approached Maho’s lips with his own.

Meanwhile, her face was as red as a tomato.

“W-Wait! I haven’t brushed my teeth yet since I just had lunch, and I’m not wearing any lip balm either! My makeup isn’t perfect…and right now is really a bad time…”

“Like I care. Close your mouth.” Saito demanded.

“Noooo!” She screamed and pushed Saito away with all her might.

She used this chance while he fell to the floor and escaped to the other side of the bench, gasping for air.

“I didn’t know you were so much of a playboy! You’re too forceful!”

Saito basked in this small victory.

“You asked for this. I just paid you back.”

“Tsk…I’m sorry, okay!” Maho lamented with tears in her eyes.

As long as she stayed honest, she was as cute as always.

“We can have this kiss another time! It’ll be when I’m ready, and when we’re looking down at the sea from a viewing platform!”

“I’m not gonna kiss you, that was just a joke.”

“Nope! I’m gonna drag you there if it’s the last thing I do!” Maho remained stubborn as she glared at Saito.

Saito realized that he may have made things worse by trying to fumble his way out of the previous dilemma.

“Anyway, to continue our previous conversation…”

“Sure, sure. Since you don’t understand how a woman’s heart operates, the great Lady Maho shall teach you.” Maho placed her head on Saito’s lap and grinned.

After receiving a certain piece of advice from Maho, Saito waited at home for Akane’s return. He built up a plan with Maho that should hopefully cheer up Akane and raise her affection for him, with its preparations being complete. Not even a demon with a heart of ice should stay apathetic if this plan succeeds.

‘Onee-chan’s gonna be home any second! Fight!’

Maho was tagging along after Akane, sending Saito a message on her phone.

—All right, let’s do this.

Saito stood up from the living room sofa and went to the front entrance. The door opened, and Akane entered, carrying her student bag in one hand.

“?!”

Seeing the scenery that greeted her, Akane froze up. An oppressive amount of roses were scattered everywhere, acting almost like a red carpet welcoming a famous Hollywood actress. On top of that, a pleasant scent from a way-too-expensive perfume filled the air.

“Wh-Why’d you dirty the floor like this?”

“I didn’t dirty anything. I prepared all of this for you.”

“For…me?”

“Yeah. You shouldn’t have to walk on just any normal floor. Your beautiful legs and feet only deserve the best, which is why I prepared this carpet of roses for you.” Saito said while putting on a handsome face.

He practiced this line and expression, which came from Maho who boasted to be of idol-level popularity, and he was sure he absolutely nailed it.

“Eeek?!”

And yet, Akane let out a faint shriek. It appeared as if Saito’s line was a bit too emotional for her.

“Let me carry that bag for you. A princess’s hand shouldn’t carry anything heavier than a pen.”

“N-No need!”

Akane tightly embraced her student bag, as she shook her head violently. She took a step back out of sheer fear. Saito however continued to smile peacefully, as he approached her.

“Why are you scared, my lady? You mustn’t. I won’t do anything vile with your bag. I shall treat it like my own child…like the child of my dearest princess.”

“Nooooooo!” Akane dashed up to the second floor without wasting a second.

Saito, in return, was bewildered and took out his phone to send Maho a message.

‘She seemed to absolutely hate it. Any idea why?’

‘She’s not used to this stuff, so she’s probably just surprised! She’s happy, I bet!’

‘You sure?’

‘Believe in me! I know Onee-chan better than anybody else in this world. I’ll make sure you both become happy!’

‘Guess I gotta push some more…’

‘I’ll watch you from the shadows, so let’s move on to the cooking part of the plan!’

Saito put his phone in his pocket and moved to the kitchen. He prepared the food he cooked on plates, putting them on the desk. While he was busy with that, he heard footsteps coming closer, which turned out to be Akane taking a peek inside the kitchen.

“S-Saito…?” Akane was twitching awkwardly.

“What’s wrong?”

“That’s what I want to know…Did something bad happen to you? Are you that stressed out?”

Saito forced the best smile he could and beckoned her over.

“Don’t worry about it, just have a seat on the sofa. I’ll be the one to prepare dinner tonight.”

“O-Oh? It’s not…filled with supplements, right?” Akane narrowed one eye.

“Of course it is.”

“Are you for real?! How messed up has your common sense become?!”

“I’m saying that it’s a regular dish. Filled with all of my love, that is.”

“L-Love…” Akane’s earlobes turned faintly pink.

She reluctantly sat down on the sofa, fidgeting awkwardly as she looked back at Saito. That wasn’t so bad of a reaction, for once. In fact, it seemed like a good enough result. Maybe Maho’s plan might actually work out.

“Now, go on and eat.” Saito placed the food on the table, revealing itself as a special pilaf filled with seafood.

And in the center of it was a hamburger steak.

“Wow, that looks delicious…” Akane seemed delighted as she grabbed a spoon.

Saito previously used a tube of ketchup to write “LOVE AKANE” on the top of the hamburger steak. And the flag stabbed into it had Saito’s smirk imprinted onto it.

“…?!” Akane’s hand holding the spoon stopped mid-air, as she froze up.

“Wh-What am I looking at…?”

“Pilaf. What else?”

“That’s not what I meant! Why does it have a heart on it And why the picture?!”

“…Why?”

“That’s what I’m asking!”

“Well…I don’t really know myself.”

He was simply following the advice Maho had given him.

“What is even going on?!” Akane was utterly taken aback.

“Honestly…I can’t say I’m particularly on board with this…”

“Then why did you make it?! Is this some new kind of harassment?!”

“Just eat it. If not, I’m gonna feed you!” Saito picked up a spoonful of pilaf and pushed it toward Akane’s mouth.

“Eeeek?!”

She tried to evade the spoon by rolling off the sofa. This position was close to revealing the underwear beneath the skirt, but she showed no intention of getting up, simply shivering on the spot.

“Wh-What is this?! What are you plotting?!”

“I’m not plotting anything. This is…my LOVE.” Saito gave her a thumbs-up with a wink.

Met with this, Akane ran away as fast as her legs could carry her.

—Saito is acting like a completely different person!

Akane ran to her study room, pressing her back against the door as she heaved for air. Something was off about Saito. Normally, he would never blurt out embarrassing lines like that, let alone talk about affection and LOVE and whatnot. He should be as stern as his looks suggested.

—W-Well, it’d be a lie if I said I wasn’t happy…

Or so she caught herself thinking, her cheeks growing hot. That was her one chance to have Saito feed her, but she wasted it simply because she was flustered. When would another chance like this come? All she knew was that it was a waste to let it go. However, Saito’s suspicious actions deserved more thought right now. A sudden awakening of feelings for Akane sounded highly implausible, so he should have some ulterior motive for this.

—Maybe he…realized that I like him?! That’s why he’s teasing me?! What an awful person he is!

Akane’s body burned up in rage. Or rather, mostly because of the embarrassment filling her. She had been insulting and verbally abusing him this entire time, only to realize how she truly felt. She didn’t even know how she would manage to live with him from now on.

—Th-That’s not it, right? He hasn’t realized…has he?

Akane shivered in fear as she opened the door of her study room.

Left behind in the living room, Saito sank down on the sofa and held his head.

“Where…where did I go wrong in life?”

He tried to ignore it, but there was no doubt in his mind that Akane was disgusted at his previous behavior. Her face was filled with disgust and disdain when she ran away.

“Now you messed up big time, Onii-chan!” Maho suddenly clung to his back, leaving Saito baffled.

“Where did you even come from?!”

“I’ve been hiding in here this entire time. And, Onii-chan…” She placed both her palms on her cheeks as she grinned. “You were super gross just now.”

“Aaaaaaaah?!” Saito writhed in agony as he felt like he was thrown into the pits of endless shame. “I had a hunch, but…was I really that disgusting?”

Maho nodded energetically.

“Yup, that was crazy! Like, instead of a national treasure, you were a national disaster! Onee-chan looked like she was gonna puke any second, and I was close to it, too!”

“Stop…You don’t have to go that far…”

Right as Saito was on his knees after receiving too much damage, Maho continued with another 2-hit combo. She sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Well, it’ll be fine! Onee-chan might hate your guts now, but you still have me! No matter how gross you may be, I’ll accept all of it! I can do it all, like doing it all night!”

“For now, get off my lap, okay?”

“Huh? Why? Shii-chan’s not here, so this seat should be reserved for me, right?” Maho’s slender fingers ran along Saito’s chest, as she licked her red lips like a predator looking at its prey.

“I’ll throw you out the window.” Saito tried to stand up while carrying Maho.

“Oh, nooo! Don’t touch me there! Onii-chan, you pervert!” She clung to Saito’s face, laughing with all her heart.

This led to her chest equally being pressed onto him. It may have been through her uniform, but Saito could directly feel her softness, as well as her feminine scent.

“I smell pretty good, right? Go and get a whiff, Onii-chan.”

“No thank you.”

“You don’t need to hold back! I know you’re getting excited!” She said and deeply gazed into Saito’s eyes.

Her lips were wet with excitement, as a juvenile passion emitted from her limbs.

“You’re the one who’s excited.”

“Sure am! Being this clingy to Onii-chan just makes me feel all hot and bothered! Gonna put it in like this?”

“Put what in?!”

“You know what I’m talking about! Don’t play dumb!” Maho pressed further as she wrapped her legs around Saito’s waist.

“I swear…”

Saito was slowly approaching critical boiling point, ready to actually throw her out. However, in that instant, he spotted Akane standing at the door. Her eyes—were empty. Like an endless void, missing any sort of emotion. It transcended simple anger and fury, like she had given up on Saito’s entire existence.

“…Take your time.”

She didn’t even meet eyes with Saito, as she just quietly walked away.

“Wait! This is a misunderstanding! I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong!”

Saito stretched out his hand in an attempt to stop Akane, but she didn’t listen. She simply dashed back up the stairs, followed by the sound of her study room’s door closing. Then came sounds from something being smashed. A wild beast was currently running wild on the second floor.

“Geez, Onii-chan! It’s not a misunderstanding, right? But we got Onee-chan’s permission, so let’s have lots of fun tonight!” Maho clung to Saito with a bright smile.

1 This is actually a reference to the top-class romance series “Gimai Seikatsu,” which is also being translated by us. If you want to read a good series with even better characters, check it out here.

2 All right, this is war, you bitch. I hope you get cucked by Maho.

3 Idk fam, I feel like she’s just a horrible person, but what do I know.

4 I stand corrected.