Kanpeki na Sako-san wa Mobu (Boku) Mitai ni Naritai Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

“…Tsuyoshi-kun…there’s something I want to tell you.”

A beauty stood in front of me, grasping the collar of her uniform, and looked at my eyes.

“Tsuyoshi Haru-kun…I like you.”

Her voice was shaking, presumably from being nervous, but her words came across crystal clear. Sako-san—Sako Machika-san—is famous for her appearance and looks. She possessed beautiful facial features with round and innocent eyes, glossy and long black hair, and a well-balanced figure. She kept her pleated skirt at a moderate length, which gave her a prim and proper image that fit her quite well.

However, her looks weren’t the only part of her that were perfect. She excels at her studies, and obtains top-of-the-class grades during every exam, even at this higher-level Nishijin High that we are students at. She’s also got a flawless personality, which makes her liked by everybody. I would bet there are a lot of students who secretly harbor feelings for her. In short, no matter how you—how everybody looked at her, she’s a perfect girl.

Such a perfect girl suddenly called me over to an empty classroom. I was confused, to say the least, as we shouldn’t have anything in common. I couldn’t think of anything she would talk to me about in private. And yet, she suddenly confessed to me out of nowhere. As she waited for my response, her legs were quivering ever so slightly, and her cheeks were reddened. Uncertainty and anxiety filled her eyes. Judging from her behavior, I think it’s safe to assume that this isn’t some kind of punishment or joke. In other words, I have to give her a serious response.

In order to cool down my heated head, I looked outside the window, away from Sako-san. We were blessed with a heavy downpour today, coloring the courtyard in a strong gray. Because of this weather, I couldn’t hear the sports clubs training outside. Instead, my ears focussed only on the rain, and I found my answer. I returned my gaze towards Sako-san, and looked directly into her eyes.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t go out with you.”

“Wh…y…” Tears started building up in Sako-san’s eyes, as she begged for an explanation.

“It’s because you are far too charming.”

“Too…charming…?”

“Yep. You’re cute, your hair is alluring, and you’re beautiful in every aspect.”

“…Huh?”

“You give it your all no matter what it may be, and you’re diligently studying too. Your grades are always at the top of the class.”

“W-Well…”

“You’ve got a great personality, and everybody likes you.”

“T-That’s not…”

“You’re diligent, kind, and—”

“Okay, you can stop now!” Sako-san covered her face with both her hands.

However, her ears were beet red, easily visible despite her efforts.

“If you keep praising me like that, I might just die…”

“S-Sorry.”

Anyway, from my point of view—or rather, everybody’s view, she’s a perfect existence. At the same time, I’m an unfortunate guy who can never be popular no matter what I do. I’ll only always be average in everything, and I might as well introduce myself as Ms. Average. My point is, Sako-san and I practically live in different worlds.

“I’m not anybody special. I’m pretty lame, the bottom of the barrel, not athletic at all, and I don’t have any special talent. I can’t see myself as someone who could stand next to you. I shouldn’t be the one standing next to the perfect Sako-san. That’s why…I can’t go out with you.”

While I calmly explained my reasoning, all color started to vanish from Sako-san’s red face, until she turned pale. She moved her hands away from her face and started crying. She had tried to keep herself under control by tightly pressing her lips together, but the large tears dropping from her eyes wouldn’t stop.

“It has to be you, Tsuyoshi-kun…!” She whispered with a faint voice, and ran out of the classroom.

After the door closed, the sound of the pouring rain outside reached my ears once more.

“This is for the best.”

Her tears act as proof of her feelings being genuine, and yet I stepped on them with no remorse. I don’t think that what I did was wrong, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty.

“Still, I wonder why she chose me?”

I’m well aware that I don’t offer anything special, or possess any charm. I’m not good at studying or sports, I’m not part of any club, and I don’t have any hidden talent. Of course, I’ve never been confessed to before. I’m full of flaws, the exact opposite of Sako-san. I don’t think we’d be a good match, and even if we started dating, I probably would only drag her down.

I don’t regret rejecting her. And yet, her face, when she started crying, would not leave my mind. I don’t think I’ll be able to recover from this for a while. And while agonizing over my decision, I put my student bag on my shoulder.

***

I walked home during the downpour without relying on an umbrella. My summer vest gradually grew heavier as it filled with water, and my drenched blouse clung to my skin. Thanks to the rain, however, all traces of me crying were erased. By the time my body had started to grow cold, I arrived at my home and entered the house. Once inside, I let out a quiet ‘I’m home’ in hopes of my Mom not hearing me.

I made my way to the bathroom while leaving a trail of water on the floor, and looked at the mirror. As expected, my face was a mess. My eyes were still red from me wiping my tears. Of course, my expression was gloomy even without me doing anything. While inspecting myself in the mirror, Tsuyoshi-kun’s previous words replayed in the back of my head.

‘I shouldn’t be the one standing next to the perfect Sako-san.’

I don’t think of myself as perfect. However, Tsuyoshi-kun apparently sees me that way, and this is why he rejected me. Honestly, I do like my own face. There’s nothing I would want to fix, and I’m grateful for my mother that she gave birth to me as she did. However, for this one moment, I cursed the face that looked at me through the mirror. Because it was so perfect, my feelings were left unanswered. Reflexively, I grabbed a pair of scissors from the bathroom shelf.

I raised my drenched bangs with my left hand, grabbing the scissors with my right. After a moment of hesitation, I started cutting. Cut. Cut. Cut. My bangs started to turn messy, lessening, and I could see my white forehead. My eyebrows showed up right after. My eyebrows always ended up in a bridge, sloping down on its corners. I’ve always had a complex about these eyebrows. They’re not cute after all.

After I finished cutting my bangs, I looked truly horrible, reaching the point I just wanted to look away from the mirror. I think this is the ugliest and pathetic I’ve ever seen. And then I caught myself thinking. I’m the furthest you could be from what is perfect. I wonder, would his answer be different if he saw me like this? If I confessed while looking this unsightly, what would his answer be? Would he accept my confession?

“I have to become imperfect.”

I grabbed the scissors, my body filling with determination. My long and black hair was glued to my back right now. It was filled with femininity, and the hairstyle I personally preferred the most. And yet, I ran the scissors through them with no remorse. Cut, cut, cut, the scissors in my hands danced to a rhythm. The me in the mirror had a gloomy look in her eyes, but she was smiling at least. It was such a contradicting expression.

“Machika?! What are you doing!”

I looked over at the door in shock, spotting Mom rushing into the bathroom. The second she looked at my face, her expression tightened up. She must have been bewildered to see me looking like this.

“Machika…Are you crying?”

Being told by her, I remembered. I forgot to erase the traces of me crying.

“I wasn’t…crying.”

“Did something bad happen?”

Mom looked directly through me, speaking with a gentle voice.

“It’s okay, Machika. No matter what happened, I’m here for you.”

Receiving such gentle and warm words, I couldn’t keep my emotions contained anymore. Everything inside of my chest came gushing out.

“The boy I like…rejected me…”

Mom listened to my words and nodded as if she had already known.

“I see, so that’s what happened. I’ll prepare a bath for you, so warm up. I can give you a proper haircut after you’re done.”

Surrounded by genuine love from my mother, I subconsciously dropped the scissors from my right hand.

“Mom…!”

I jumped into her arms and cried endless tears while she hugged me.

After getting out of the bath, Mom took care of my hair. My previously long hair now ended up in something resembling a bob cut, with straight-cut bangs. My entire appearance changed so drastically I was unsure if I was even myself anymore. I think it’ll take a while for me to not get a heart attack when looking in the mirror. After changing into my casual clothes, I fell down on my bed and called my friend via LINE. The second she accepted the call, I heard an excited voice screaming into my ear.

‘How did it go?!’

The person I was talking to is Nishida Mayuko. I first got to know her in the middle school of Nishijin after the entrance exams, and we’ve been good friends ever since then.

“I got rejected.”

‘………Seriously? Sorry.’

Her tone dropped drastically in an instant.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

‘I mean, I didn’t expect him to say no! Damn that Tsuyoshi, I won’t forgive him.’

“Now, now, calm down. I’m not giving up on Tsuyoshi-kun.”

‘Ah, really?’

“He rejected me because I was ‘too perfect’, you know?”

‘Oh?’

“He said that, because I’m too perfect, he can’t see himself next to me.”

‘Basically, he’s saying that you two aren’t a good match.’

“That’s why I want to stop being perfect.”

‘Hm? I dun get it.’

“I mean, if me being perfect is a nuisance, then I just have to change.”

‘Now let’s calm down for a second, okay…’

It’s very simple. If me being perfect will get in the way of him accepting me, then I just have to start gathering flaws. I have to destroy my image of being perfect.

‘A more fundamental question…What will you do to stop being perfect?’

“Maybe a bit of acting will do the trick? If I play the role of a clumsy and playful girl who’s bad at studying and not feminine at all…”

‘Being clumsy and playful, someone who’s bad at studying and not feminine at all…Wait, that’s the exact opposite of you! No way that will work!’

“But I don’t have much time, I can’t choose my methods.”

‘That…does make sense. How long do you have left?’

“About two months.”

Indeed, my love has a time limit.

‘Two months…you know, you sound like a sick person diagnosed with a deadly illness.’

She wasn’t completely wrong. My love definitely had a life expectancy.

“That’s why I’ll do whatever it takes so that I can be with Tsuyoshi-kun.”

‘I see. I guess that makes sense.’

“Thank you, Mayuko. I’ll do my best.”

I may have gotten rejected today, but I’m still far from done. I’ll use the last bit of time I have left, and become the type of person Tsuyoshi-kun would choose. Now that I’ve found out what to do, the pain and suffocation of being rejected subsided, and my heart felt lighter. Just you wait, Tsuyoshi-kun, I’ll definitely change.

June 13th,

I confessed but was rejected.

Still, I decided not to give up on Tsuyoshi-kun.

I’ll destroy this supposed perfect image that I have, and then confess again.

I have two more months! No matter what, I have to go out with Tsuyoshi-kun!