Hentai Ouji to Warawanai Neko. Volume 12 Chapter 3

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Happy Prince

“Though this is a story from the past, now that I’m surrounded by this exact scenery, I can’t help but feel nostalgic.”

The girl who had lived all alone with her little sister in that old house just stared through the fence into the distance without taking a glance in my direction.

“This world might actually be my wish.”

Taken from the Yokodera-kun notes’ third volume.

The sound of cicadas chirping made my ears bleed. The Onee-san from the weather forecast, who today was wearing short sleeves, slurp, said it’d be as hot as a chili pepper today, and by God she wasn’t lying.

“Substitute X with Y… and then you can determine Z? The heck is this? Who even thought of this…?” Ponta was muttering about vague mathematical formulae, sweating profusely.

A blank paper filled with supplementary printouts was in front of him. Indeed, he and I were sitting together in this summer-filled classroom, working on our math exercises. There was no A/C to be found in this classroom, so we students were tortured and burned alive while the teacher, the Moustache Daruma, sat in his comfortable and cool preparation room. He said we could hand in our answers once we were done, so you couldn’t tell if he was actually being kind or not.

“…Yo, Yokodera. Are you really okay with wasting our precious youth on such nonsense? Isn’t there something else we should be focusing on?”

“What, for example?”

“I mean, I don’t know either. There must be something even an average Japanese man like me could be needed for!” Like a believer who had woken up to his duty, Ponta narrowed his eyes in agony.

But since his hand movement made it look like he was groping something, I chose to ignore his comment.

“Also, what am I supposed to do with X and Y and whatever? The only parts of the alphabet that I care about are E and F… Oh right! Yokodera, you’ve gotten pretty close with Maimaki as of late, right?”

“How did you go from a girl’s body parts to MaiMai? Actually, I don’t even want to know. Where did you hear that from?”

“Now now, there’s no use playing dumb. I have my sources. More accurately, I have an eyewitness who just so happened to be present at the game center—Hey, where are you going?”

“Handing in my papers to Moustache Daruma?”

“Huh? Eh? …You’re not telling me that you’ve already finished your work, are you?”

“Well, I don’t know if I got them all right or not.”

I knew what the main topic of the supplementary lessons would be, so I prepared ahead of time. I did invite Ponta to our study session, but he declined, so that’s not my problem. Right when I went to step out of the room, I heard Ponta jump up from his chair. His mouth was opening and closing like he was hyperventilating.

“So you were serious about that…? I thought you were talking about us playing another gal game together… And I wanted to study for real… So what? Did you have a girl thoroughly teach you all the ropes!?”

“I mean, she did teach me some stuff about math, yeah.”

“Hey hey hey hey, tell me about that sooner, would ya?! Your study session was probably all about that hoi hoi ufu fufu haha stuff, right!? You probably lost your original goal of studying right away, didn’t you?! You climbed up the stairs to adulthood! I’m so jealous!”

“That didn’t happen. It went down like any other study session. I was taught what I didn’t know, and taught what I knew.”

“Hey now, you’re messing with me, right?”

“Stuff like that wouldn’t happen in reality. Not at all. Sadly, to be honest. For me, and for someone else. It might have been a shame.”

“…I see. Sucks to hear that.” Ponta sat down on his chair again. “I don’t know what to say, but I guess you’ve changed, Mister.”

“Changed? In what way? I still love my treasured goods, and I don’t work part-time or study seriously. At night, I busy myself watching videos of lewd girls.”

“Right. I guess you’re still just as much of a pervert in that regard.”

“I don’t wanna hear that from you of all people, to be honest.”

“I don’t know. You just talk about some weird stuff sometimes. I don’t know what you went through, but it feels like you’ve gone far away without me.” He looked at his own palm and then my face, giving me a troubled smile. “We’ve known each other for ages, mister… It makes me feel a bit lonely, see.”

“…Ponta…”

Everybody has some sort of childhood friend. Just like how Tsutsukakushi has Azuki Azusa and MaiMai, I have one too. Someone who can see right through me. A warm summer breeze entered the classroom, gently blowing against the printouts gathered on top of the desk.

“…Well, just ignore that.” My childhood friend just waved his hand at me. “Go ahead for today. It’ll still take me some time to think about X, my future, Y, my reason for existing, and all that.”

*

As I stepped out of the school gate, my phone rang. I heard the familiar melody of ‘Hush Little Baby’, sung by the one and only little baby I knew. While listening to her faint complaints, I answered the call.

“I’ve just finished. I’m coming over right now.” I said and hopped onto the bus driving the exact opposite direction from my home.

There were two things I didn’t tell Ponta. First, this study session didn’t happen just between me and one girl. And second, we would be continuing it today.

*

The Tsutsukakushi Household is unreasonably large. That alone was evident thanks to the long and high stone wall that went from the bus stop all the way to the entrance. I entered the main gate, walked along the pebble path, gave the banquet hall and garden a sideways glance, made my way through a changing room large enough to hold at least ten washing machines, and opened the door to the bath, only to come to a halt.

“…Wait, why did I come all the way into the bath so naturally!?”

“What do you mean by ‘naturally’?”

“I guess it can’t be helped! Tsukiko-chan, let’s wash each other’s bodies!”

“What do you mean ‘it can’t be helped’?” Tsutsukakushi gave me a cold glare.

She had contacted everyone for the study session and decided to hold it here at the Tsutsukakushi Household. She greeted me at the entrance and guided me to the location where everyone had gathered. But when I set foot inside, a fully-naked event came back to mind.

“Is this like what they discovered during Pavlov’s dog study?”

“A pervert is searching for meaning behind his perverted actions, I see.”

“I’m not searching for that kind of meaning! Also, I haven’t even seen your naked body yet in this worldline!”

“Is that something that should be celebrated? We don’t have time to mess around like this.”

“I was just joking… Wait, we don’t have time? So you’re in a rush too, huh? Let’s strip, then!”

“Hey.”

“Just take off your clothes! Hurry up! Off with them!”

“Senpai.”

“Your underwear, too! Let’s take a selfie and put it on social media!”

“Behind you.”

“Come on, we don’t have all day! Show me that flustered expression while you strip!”

“Nee-san.”

“I am terribly sorry for being alive!”

I jumped into the air, turned around, and immediately prostrated myself on the floor. This is an even more advanced technique than a moonsault. One particular famous American wrestler would be proud of me. Deep inside, I was hoping that Tsukiko-chan was only flustered and had said her sister’s name as a bluff, but when I lifted my head…

“What’s wrong, Yokodera? I heard you having fun all the way from the hallway.”

Betraying my hopes, the real Onee-san stood in the doorframe of the changing room. Goodbye world. Hello grave.

*

“Did I interrupt you, by any chance? Don’t mind me. Feel free to continue.” Steel-san gave me a gentle smile.

Like an incarnated Buddha, her face formed an archaic smile. However, the aura emitting from her body resembled the devil incarnate, making my body shiver in fear.

“It isn’t what you think. This is definitely not what it looks like. How long have you been there, anyway!?”

“From around the time you started pulling on Tsukiko’s clothes.”

“I was caught in the act!? Wait a kind moment! It might seem bad, but in reality, your little sister’s skirt was so erotic, it simply drew my hand towards it!”

“I don’t quite get it. However, you didn’t seem too bothered by said gravitational pull, did you?”

“Oh no, don’t misunderstand, I just couldn’t win against Moonchild-chan’s body, even if I fought against it!”

“Enough with the tedious talk. Could you let me join in as well?” Steel-san’s palm approached me.

She put it on my shoulder, closing off any avenue of possible escape. Hey, I remember this development! I’m glad I read the Yokodera-kun notes! After this, I will have to fight for my life against Steel-san, and I’ll find the storehouse in the process. I’d sneak inside that storehouse and meet the giant cat statue!

As current member of the track-and-field club, I prepared myself for my final sprint before I would go up to heaven, when—

“Well, if I take a while to get back to the others, they’ll start worrying about me. We’ll continue this another time.”

“We’ll continue?”

“Indeed. We will take our time together after the studying session.”

I can’t believe it. I’m getting the older sister + little sister stripping combo platter? Can I have seconds!?

“No, y-you won’t deceive me! You’ll probably paralyze me with poisonous gas and brutally murder me, right!?”

“What are you talking about? If Tsukiko wishes for it, then I will support you.”

“…Nee-san, what are you talking about?” Tsukiko-chan broke her long silence.

“I mean… Wasn’t Yokodera helping you practice for the children’s welfare club’s play?”

“Mm…?”

“I heard you were playing ‘The Three Little Pigs’, and I guessed as much from that conversation you two just had. Yokodera was the wolf, and Tsukiko was a little pig, right?” Steel-san was confident, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Oh yeah, Tsukiko-chan is a member of the children’s welfare club. I heard they prepared drawings and plays and stuff to put on when they visit a children’s home.

“…Th-That’s right! She said she’ll be very busy during summer break! I thought that I might as well help her practice!”

“I thought as much. The script seemed pretty over-the-top, but I guess this just shows how much children nowadays have grown, and how early they start to become assimilated with such topics. Indeed, you should help Tsukiko out.” She nodded to herself, keeping her smile.

The dark and evil aura I had thought I’d seen before was gone. She simply looked like a wise old person.

“…You make such great expressions when talking about your little sister, club president.”

“Where did that come from? I don’t need your praise.” Steel-san suddenly made a bashful smile, looking like an average older girl.

Maybe I had been influenced by what I read in those notes. There’s no guarantee that things will be the same as they were there. But thanks for the assist, Tsukiko-chan!

“…Pig… yet again… I am a pig…” She didn’t seem satisfied at all.

That’s not the crux of the problem, Hippopotamus-chan!

“Hyan!”

The moment our eyes met, I received a hippopotamus attack right to my solar plexus. I guess this was just payback for what happened before.

“Why are you screaming like that, Yokodera?”

“Maybe an insect has bitten him? More importantly, what if that just now wasn’t acting, Nee-san? What would you have done?”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“What if Senpai wasn’t pretending to be a wolf, but instead was a pervert in reality, and was planning to strip me here.”

“…What?” Steel-san’s eyes narrowed for a second.

Hold on a damn second! What are you saying, Tsukiko-chan!? I barely managed to avoid my own death, and now you’re pushing me down into the abyss again!? I know you’re a victim here, but isn’t this a bit too cruel? It’s my fault, I know, and I deserve it, but still…

“Well… It makes sense to assume that unwanted emotions could very well surface during practice like that. After all, Tsukiko is the cutest girl in the entire world.”

“That’s not important right now.”

“Umm… The problem lies in the question if Yokodera was simply helping Tsukiko with her play, or had awakened to his lust during the process, huh? When you compare the two possibilities, I would simply ignore the latter.”

“…What?”

The conversation was drifting in a direction I would have never imagined. I’m not a criminal? WHY? I mean I really am, so how am I not??

“Think about it logically. This isn’t a conversation on the level of doubting Tsukiko’s cuteness, or believing in Yokodera’s faithfulness. Rather, let us argue with the reasoning illustrated by the philosopher and theologist William of Ockham. With all things being equal, the simplest explanation tends to be the right one. Plurality is not to be posited without necessity.” She nodded to herself.

I see, that’s what she’s on about. ‘Ockham’s Razor’, huh? Yeah, yeah… Honestly, I have no clue what she’s even talking about. But it seems like I’m going to be allowed to stay alive for a little longer.

“You are too kind to Senpai, Nee-san.” Tsukiko-chan puffed out her cheeks.

“Well, isn’t this fine? I could tell you were having fun as well, so I wanted to act like an older sister and just focus on the study session.” Steel-san pushed me out of the room, giving me a few words. “Now, Yokodera, everyone is waiting for you. Let’s go.” She smiled like an adult.

That’s how she always is. She says all kinds of complicated words, and has the reputation of calming things down like this. She held total rule over the distribution of clubs within the sports grounds, and was respected greatly by the other club members. Even the clothes she was wearing today said ‘Intelligence’ in large characters.

Indeed, the current Steel-san is nothing like the one I read about in the notes. Even when she was younger, she had more wisdom than most. After all, she didn’t give up on studying because her mother didn’t tell her to do so. All the wishes had been reset, so this is a world where I didn’t spend any time at the Tsutsukakushi Household. Steel-san kept her wisdom from when she was young, and she’s grown to become even more knowledgeable.

Of course, according to Tsukiko-chan, she has given her some spartan treatment now and again as well. That must have been tough. I know someone like a little sister as well who constantly nags me about everything. I guess Tsukiko-chan just has a fetish for punishing and lecturing others!

“Senpai, you always misunderstand the line between punishments and rewards, right?”

“…Tsukiko-chan, you’re always reading my thoughts and responding to them immediately, right? What’s that about?”

“I am merely guessing your thoughts in real time. I have gotten quite skilled at it over time.”

“That sure sounds like a convenient skill if you ask me!”

“I will take that as a compliment. More importantly, why is Nee-san so…” Tsutsukakushi lowered her head, thinking.

“W-Well, Onee-san was the one who said it. We can continue this later with just the two of us. Without a single thread of clothing, we’ll show each other our everything, okay?”

“For crying out loud… You really are a helpless pervert.” She let out a profound sigh and put one hand to her forehead.

Her attitude was a mixture of resignation and exhaustion, and she averted her face as she walked next to me.

But, this gesture… It didn’t seem like she hated the idea of it too much. It felt like if I kept pushing more and more and a bit more, I might actually reach a naked event with her. If I were to ask like my life depended on it, prostrating myself in front of her, we might actually cross the line.

I wonder why. Maybe she’s been influenced by the notes from the past like I am, and she’s having weird hallucinations. Something like ‘It was like this in the past, so it can’t be helped that it looks like that’, or something along those lines. I don’t know, but… I don’t want that.

Whatever. I’m thinking too deeply about it. Tsukiko-chan is the best in lewd situations, and that’s all that matters. Also, maybe my eyes have just gone rotten? That possibility is probably higher than anything else. It’s Ockham’s theory of nudity. You shouldn’t add more perverts than necessary.

*

Change of subject. It was time for the study session. The usual members, namely Azuki Azusa and MaiMai, had already gathered in the Tsutsukakushi Household’s large banquet hall.

“Next question. A-chan, answer it.”

“Bring it on! This is my speciality!”

Both of them were wearing stylish clothes. Azuki Azusa was wearing her standard ribbon with a white one-piece and a summer hat. MaiMai was wearing an open-shoulder cut-sew with denim shorts. They sat on the floor cushions in front of the low dining table, shoulder to shoulder, looking at their workbooks.

“At the third underlined part, when Richou¹ says ‘Timid self-esteem and arrogant shame’, what is he pointing out?”

“Um… They call the tiger the ‘King of the Forest,’ but they don’t exactly work well in packs. They’re not as fast as cheetahs, either… That’s probably the reason for his complicated feelings of self-esteem and shame?”

“…Next. In the fourth underlined part, why is he speaking in such a self-deprecating manner?”

“Wait, the next one right after that? Um… Maybe he wanted to become a tiger anyway? He didn’t want to be too braggy in front of Ensan, so he held himself back? How kind!”

“…In the fifth underlined part. What did Richou howl at the last moon?”

“That was really cool! I felt like I was watching it happen!”

“………”

“How was it? Was I right?”

“A-chan, reading comprehension consists of you reading a passage and answering questions about it. You don’t talk about your own feelings you had while reading it.”

“B-But… tigers are strong, cool, and I love them…”

“…Yeah. But that’s not…”

“Ma-chan, do you… disagree with me?”

“…No, but…”

“Ehehe, good, good!”

“…Yeah…”

Let me retract my former statement. Azuki Azusa and MaiMai were acting like they were studying, but in reality, they were flirting. Why is there any need for them to hold hands while they’re studying? And why are you leaning shoulder-to-shoulder like that?

“A-chan, the club president will come back soon, so maybe we should…”

“???”

“Don’t make such a shocked face. Just… move away for a bit…”

“Don’t wanna?”

“But I’m asking you to…”

“We’re friends, so we can do this, right?”

“Ugh…” MaiMai grew silent, and Azuki Azusa rubbed her cheek against her.

She seems to be weak against pressure like that, which allows Azuki Azusa to become a completely spoiled child. Can you two just go out together? They didn’t even notice us watching from afar, grinning to ourselves. I honestly wished I could watch this sweet atmosphere forever, but…

“So? Have you made some progress?” Our beloved Steel-san completely ignored this atmosphere and sat between the two of them with no hesitation.

“Hya! Club… Wait!” MaiMai jumped upright.

She frantically waved her hands, shaking her head as she blushed. It’s like she had been caught cheating by her legal wife. To me, this looks like some kind of complicated yuri love triangle.

“…What’s wrong?” Azuki Azusa just looked confused, not flustered in the slightest.

If anything, she probably is acting the same as ever.

“Ah, Yokodera! How were supplementary lessons?!” She saw me and flashed a warm smile.

“Thanks to you, they went pretty well. How about you? You have modern literature tomorrow, right?”

“That’s right. But at this rate, I might get high scores like a pegasus flying through the sky!”

Yeah, I’m sure your teacher will start crying, that’s for certain!

“But I’m a bit worried about my English exam the day after tomorrow… Yokodera, could you help me?” Her reference book was prepared, and she was looking at me like a penguin waiting to be fed.

“Of course. What are you stuck on? Grammar? Listening comprehension?”

“…Tired… I’m hungry…” MaiMai fell backwards onto the tatami mat.

Tsukiko-chan crouched down next to her, offering her some tea.

“Good work. Take a short break.”

She carried a teapot and cups for five.

“And’ here’s Senpai’s.”

“Woah, thank you! Did you make these chocolate cookies, Tsukiko-chan?”

“Yes, yes. Please, do eat up.”

“Amazing. I can’t do that at all.” I commented, admiring Tsukiko-chan.

I’m sure she’ll be a great wife in the future.

“…This is as easy as making tea.” Tsukiko-chan averted her gaze, playing with her tail-hair.

That’s the sign that she’s in a good mood.

“If you know the tricks, it’s not that big of a deal. I’m sure Senpai could do it too if you had someone to teach you.”

“Really? Even me? Then could you maybe—”

“…They’re delicious. A-chan, have a bite, too. We can stop studying for today.” MaiMai stretched out her hand, reaching out for a cookie.

“But Yokodera just got here. I’d feel bad for him.” Azuki Azusa protested, but her gaze was drifting towards the cookies nonetheless.

As always, she can’t even lie to herself. I want to make her my daughter.

“I finished getting everything done for the end-of-term exams, so I’m fine not rushing things. How about you, Club President?” I turned towards her, but Steel-san just shook her head.

“You can all take a break. I will focus on my own studies at my own leisure, so no concern from you is needed. I am perfectly prepared for the entrance exams.”

“But I’d feel bad causing a ruckus while you’re trying to study…”

“Fufu. You really are a kind man, Yokodera. Then would you mind giving me a shoulder massage to help me relax?” The examinee sat down in front of the low dining table, showing me a smile.

She really acts like a calm and experienced older lady. I want to make her my lover.

“I don’t mind giving you a massage whenever, but… Looking at the club, I don’t see you getting tired at all, so…”

“Oh really? Then would you give it a try?”

“Um, sure…”

“…There is! Something I really need advice on! Namely, about practice during summer break!” MaiMai broke between the two of us.

…Well, I guess you all can figure out what’s going on. MaiMai won’t talk to me, let alone look at me, and whenever I talk, she tries to interrupt me. I’m trying really hard here, but she’s working really hard to waste my efforts.

Then again, this kind of study session is something these childhood friends have been doing for years now. During any exam period, they’d gather and study as a group, teaching each other whatever they didn’t understand. A good example of this was Azuki Azusa, who missed the original point of the question, and MaiMai who fails to take good notes. There’s Steel-san who looks over them, who’s already progressed further with her studies. Tsukiko-chan for her part can already study for the coming year.

They all lack something, ask someone else for help, and increase their academic knowledge. Tsukiko-chan invited me to this gathering, and I managed to somehow find my way inside. Then again, I think it’s pretty obvious what MaiMai is thinking, if you remember the incident back at the game center.

“…Leave… Leave…” With full-blown hostility clearly emanating from her voice alone, she glared at me.

What is this? Some kind of failed attempt at purifying a residential ghost? If anything, I feel like the others will catch onto it and treat me more kindly as a result. Honestly, I didn’t mind it too much. She’s just busy protecting her surroundings. It’s a natural reaction. Also, and it doesn’t have anything to do with what’s going on here, but I’ve heard that the more a boy and girl fight, the steamier their nights are! I want her to become my se + friend.

“………Hmpf.”

Tsukiko-chan watched us being unable to get along and let out a groan.

“Just sitting around like this is no fun. How about we play a game?”

“A game? Sounds great. What game did you have in mind?”

“Old maid is a bit too boring if you ask me. How about daifugō?”

I feel like I’d heard that word before, in a long, distant past—Or maybe I read about it just recently.

*

A while ago, in a world different from this one, I had been forced to stay over at this house because of a typhoon that popped up at the end of summer break. At that time, the always-lonely Tsukiko-chan wished for us to play cards in this wide empty home. We played the game a lot of times after that, but being able to play with so many people must be a first for her.

During the tenth round…

“Has everyone finished trading? Then let’s start the next game.”

Four of us sat around the table saddling the porch and tatami room, and Tsutsukakushi sat in the alcove like an announcer. She shuffled the cards like a professional dealer. She’s always been good at games, and card games might be what she’s strongest at. She’d always end up being President the entire time.

“I’m not too good at this game. Why do you need to rank other people like apes on Saruyama when we’re all human beings?” Azuki Azusa complained as she arranged her own cards, her chestnut-colored hair swaying.

You can’t forget that her father is a well-known doctor, and her mother is a talented editor. She was raised in a fairly normal family, but financially she’s practically rich. She’s like the bourgeoisie who instigated the French Revolution, maybe?

“Make Yokodera the poor guy, make him the poor guy…!” My archnemesis was chanting curses as she dealt out the cards.

‘Even if you ask me to do so, Tsuu-chan, I can’t play with him.’

She had been absolutely against it in the beginning, but eventually…

‘Daifugō is a wonderful game. You can legally scorn, punish, and exile all perv—all the bad people in a country.’

‘Scorn, punish, and exile.’

‘Why not join in for one round, at least? It would be a great way to show the power relationship between you two.’

‘Power relationship…’ She was washed along by Tsukiko-chan’s magic words.

Were you playing daifugō with these sorts of feelings, Tsukiko-chan? Anyway, MaiMai sat to the left of me, and drew a card before me, trying to get me down to the lowest rank.

“Ahh, I lost again…”

After the other three played all their cards, I was the loser yet again. I don’t know why, but I’m not doing too well right now. Maybe I’ll do better if we turn it into a stripping game instead? Suddenly, someone tapped on my shoulder.

“So, how about you let me join in?” It was Steel-san.

She carried a small number of reference books, and she had come all the way over here from the low dining table.

“You’re more than welcome! But what are those books for?”

“Don’t mind them. They’re just for my studies.” Steel-san sat down to my right.

She opened the reference books up on top of her knees, holding a pen in her right hand. In her left, she held the cards Tsukiko-chan had dealt.

“Um, Club President?”

“Listen, Yokodera. The human cerebral cortex is split into left and right sides. The right side controls the left half of the body, and the left side the right half.”

“Huh?”

“As an examinee, the left side of the cerebral cortex is necessary, as it controls logical thinking, but if you think about it from a geometric standpoint, you can strengthen your artistic creativity which originates from the right side.”

“Uh huh?”

“Thus, I will simply use the left part of my vision to play this card game, and will solve questions with the right part of my vision. This way, I am using both sides of my brain at the same time. It’s a good idea, is it not?”

“Sorry, but I don’t quite get what you’re talking about…”

Had she been studying so much that she went crazy? But she seemed pretty serious. She’s actually studying with the right half of her body and playing daifugō with the left half of her body. I don’t even know what to say.

“Shouldn’t you focus on one or the other… Right?” I looked around, seeking someone who would agree.

“I get to look at the club president studying highly-sophisticated material again!” The vice club president gave her a round of applause.

Seriously, what are you on about?

“A rabbit’s field of view has a wide angle, almost 360°, allowing it to see its entire surroundings. The practice of looking at different things with your left or right eye is something animals are used to, so maybe it’d be a good field of study for biology.” Azuki Azusa gave a faint smile.

Can you at least stay on topic with your explanations?

“Nee-san has always been studying on the side whenever she’s doing something else. This way she can focus on a bit of relaxation at the same time, so I can rest assured.” Tsutsukakushi said, kneading her palms together.

She looked like an evil scientist who had spotted their next victim. I wonder if I even have the right to decline? …Then again, this is normal for them, I guess? I was caught up in the mood of the room, so I remained silent.

“Revolution Eight Enders, Revolution Five Skip, Pair. Oh, I finished.”

“Joker Joker, two triples, an ace triple, a king triple.”

“A royal straight and a flush for me.” Steel-san was playing an entirely different game.

What is that, poker? I wanted to point that out, but…

“That’s the club president for you! You’re the King at whatever game you play, yes!”

“You keep winning like a white lion. I’ll fall for you all over!”

“It seems like you’ll get a good hand after this. I’ll go ahead and shuffle. Two jokers… Hmm… then…”

They just watched over her with warm smiles. There was no fabrication to be argued about here. If there’s one thing unnatural about this whole situation, then it’s the way Tsukiko-chan shuffles her cards. Thanks to the professional dealer’s shuffling, Steel-san managed to get out first easily the following arounds. For some reason, the more she won, the more the others smiled.

I see. This is probably meant as a change of pace for Steel-san. In order for her to be able to focus on the entrance exams, they probably decided to have her win a lot. What a kind world this is.

“Yokodera, you may hand over your card.”

“I will gladly do so!”

Since I was set with the role of being extremely poor the entire time, I smiled and gladly handed her that hand. Please, hold all the cards. I will give you my everything, so please become happy!

“Now then, what is the best possible hand of this game? According to Chebyshev’s inequality, the change of probability is something that is gathered and bundled, so if I can guess the values of the cards in the other players’ hands…”

When we showed our cards, Steel-san started picking out trading candidates. The White Lion always works at full strength, no matter the circumstances. Also, can you stop using all these complicated formulae and terms? Can we at least let this card game be simple for once?

“Hmm… I should probably use the Ace… or the King for the Revolution…” Her fingers collided with mine, and the cards fell to the ground.

“Ah, sorry.”

“No, that was my mistake, don’t worry.” Steel-san crouched down faster than my hand could move, trying to pick up the card.

Or rather—’picking up’ is the wrong expression to use there. Instead, she put it in her mouth, lifting it up. Her expression looked similar to a clever lion who was playing around with a documentary crew filming.

“C-Club president? What are you doing…?”

“I told you earlier. My left hand is busy holding the cards and gathering information, whereas the right one is buried in reference books. Thus, I can only use my mouth to pick it up.” She spoke like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Hm?” Of course, since she opened her mouth to speak, the card fell out of it yet again.

Maybe this lion might is not as clever as previously assumed.

“Another failure. Yokodera, don’t move an inch.” With commanding eyes, Steel-san closed in on me.

Trapped in her eyes was the card that had fallen to the floor—coincidentally, the King, which had landed in front of my own body’s ‘king.’

“It’d be rude to leave the card there. Yokodera, please put up with it for a moment.” With a sharp gaze, Steel-san lowered her face.

She was aiming at a single point located near my lower body.

“Club president!? If you can’t use your left hand, then at least use your right one for this, okay!?”

“If I relax now, then my concentration will break down, and so would my conviction, since my left hand would be focused on a game like this. By keeping my ideals and methods, I will conquer the entrance exams.”

“What a great examinee you are!”

I wish I could take some of her motivation and give it to the Steel-san of another worldline I know of.

“Mm… Nom… It’s quite elastic… Not sturdy enough for me to grab it…”

“Wait wait wait wait wait!? I feel like you’re onto something else there!”

She wasn’t trying to get the King on the card, but my own sleeping ‘King!’

“…Mm?” Steel-san looked up at me.

With her left hand, she tucked her long hair behind her ear, burying her face into my lower body, moving up and down. I could even see her pouting in annoyance. Of course, I had no indecent thoughts while looking at this. To everyone who has, please reflect on it. Yes, I will.

“Not like this?” Steel-san finally stopped.

Indeed, not like that.

“Now that I think about it, I can only use half my mouth, too. Yokodera, thank you for reminding me of my naivete. This is quite complicated, but I need to keep trying this so that I can reach even higher heights…” She started fishing for the card with half of her mouth, and her sweet breath hit a place I’d rather not give a name to.

“A-Ah, no, you can’t, Club President!”

“I can, and I will. Just a bit more, and I can lift it up…”

“That’s the one thing you shouldn’t be lifting up!”

I see, I get it now. She’s the clever type of person who’s actually an idiot! Clumsiness will never change, huh?!

“Grrr… Why Yokodera of all people…?”

At the same time, the angry MaiMai hammered her fist onto the ground.

“Enough, club president. No more, or I will break.”

“But the game can’t continue at this rate. It got stuck in a weird place, and I can’t get it out.”

“Then I will get it for you!” Fox-chan announced with a fire burning in her eyes.

She lowered her posture, approaching my lower region. She clicked her tongue and showed her back teeth.

“Wah, ouch ouch ouch!? Can you not use your teeth!?”

“Shut up. Let me get this over with.”

“Right right, do it gently, and then—Wait, hold on!?”

Why are you trying to get it with your tongue!? You can use your hands, MaiMai! Calm down! Treasure yourself some more!

“This is quite the task. I have to be the one to take it after all.”

“Don’t force yourself, club president. Mmmnn!”

“Then it’s a competition on who can get it first, nom!”

“I will be the one to win. Hurry up and let it out, Yokodera.”

“Mmnn, just leave it all to me.”

“Come on, out with it. Let it out. Give it to me. In my mouth.”

The two were rubbing cheek to cheek, fighting for my thing. I can feel my King awakening to this revolution!

………

……

What happened after that is something I cannot disclose here. However, if you’d like to read more, I can recommend a few porn magazines. Instead, I will use Tsukiko-chan’s words.

‘Daifugō is amazing, you know? You can legally exile people out of your country.’

I have to agree with that, though I’m a bit concerned about the whole legality aspect of it.

*

Tsuu-chan and A-chan went to make dinner for everyone, so in the meantime, I went on a trip to cool both my head and body.

It was currently twilight. I could see singular lights lit up inside the Tsutsukakushi Household, guiding me through the darkness. But the path wouldn’t end. When I stepped out of the main house, I saw a pathway crossing the yard. As the setting sun illuminated the sky, I ran into a solid wall.

“This is…”

A storehouse, and quite a large one. It might even be bigger than a three-floor building thanks to its sheer size. I felt like I could see locked windows up at its peak, but it was too far away for me to tell. It looked like a treasure chamber that would appear in some kind of historical play.

However, in this day and age, it was mostly unused, surely. I could see signs of mold and the scars of time dirtying its overall appearance. I wouldn’t even be surprised if the large double-doors didn’t open anymore. Instead of being sealed up on purpose, it looked more like it had been forgotten thanks to the passage of time. Like something was in there that should be forgotten.

Indeed, her role to play had ended in this world. She should merely be resting in this world, watching from afar.

“—Do you have some kind of business here?”

“!?”

For a moment, I thought I had seen long black hair—but it was merely Steel-san who was standing behind me. Of course, she wasn’t wearing a kimono, either. Instead, she was wearing the same shirt from before, emitting intelligence as she crossed her arms.

“N-Not really. I just was taking a walk.”

“Really, now? While I was following you, it looked like you were practically aiming to come here.”

“You were tailing me!?”

“I am merely jesting.” Steel-san narrowed her eyes, snickering. “I saw you from my room’s door. I was interested to see where you would make your way to.”

“So you were tailing me!!”

I was saying it as a joke, but she’s dead serious about it. Apparently she doesn’t understand when to follow up with another joke!

“Apologies. Don’t be so angry. I know I should have called out to you, but after studying for what feels like ages, I just had the urge to tease you a bit.” The clever yet childish girl shrugged as she apologized.

Someone has to teach her about common sense, otherwise some pervert will use her naivete to force her to strip. I need to teach her!

“As you can see, this house is way too large for its own good, and there is no entertainment whatsoever to speak of. I thought only boredom was to be found, but it sure feels fresh after you’ve arrived.” She slowly passed by me and touched the storehouse’s wall with her palm.

“When you look at it from this side, it looks like a suspicious building. There are sealed documents and treasure inside, and it holds other objects we haven’t used for a long time.”

“…So you don’t come here often?”

“Indeed. It has been a while. How many years has it been? I leave this area to Tsukiko when we’re cleaning the house, as well.”

I’m sure that Tsukiko-chan asked for that. Steel-san looked at the storehouse with a dubious expression, turning towards the double doors.

“If there’s no need to go inside, then isn’t it fine?” I asked.

“Hm?”

“That just means you’re satisfied even without it. There’s no reason to ask for something else.”

“Right…” Steel-san pulled her gaze away, looking the opposite direction.

She directed her attention towards the main house. More accurately, at the banquet hall where everyone was waiting.

“I am indeed satisfied. There is nothing I lack as of right now. I am blessed with health, great friends and relationships, and my future is promising. I have a kind little sister, trusted friends, and a junior who respects me. The four of us have been living with each other this entire time.” She looked away. “This world is very comfortable and convenient for me—Almost too convenient.” She closed her eyes and put one hand on her throat. “There are times when I wake up at night, plagued by an unfamiliar anxiety. Did I just wake up, or was I asleep that moment? In the midst of the darkness, I become unable to distinguish this world with a dream I had. Even though there should be no other world than this one.”

“…You were probably just imagining things! If you cuddle up with your warm blanket, a hallucination like that will be gone in no time!”

“I am well aware of that.”

“Then…”

“However, logic doesn’t work here. It is what I feel. I worry that I am only dreaming right now. That this kind magic will pop like a bubble, pulling me down to reality.” The white throat, no longer coughing, vibrated normally as she spoke these words with an indifferent tone.

Wrapped up in this transient light, I could see Steel-san’s long eyelashes shine brightly, like this was a magic hour. It was a sight almost too beautiful to exist.

“………”

My phone suddenly started ringing. Like it was trying to warn me of something. Unable to accept the call nor deny it, I simply looked up at the sky. I spotted a single crow flying beneath the sunny clouds, returning to its nest, to the place it belongs to.

“Hey, Yokodera. Let me be honest. Have you seen something or experienced something somewhere that I have not?”

“…Why would you feel that way?”

“No deeper reason. If anything, I started thinking this because of Tsukiko.”

“Because of your little sister?”

“You and Tsukiko started getting along almost worryingly fast. My little sister would never get too close with men. If anything, she would keep her distance. And yet she invited you even into our circle of friends. Even that acting practice before felt so natural, like you had been talking for years. It made me think that you must have talked like this a lot without me knowing.” Steel-san slowly raised her eyelids.

Her usually sharp gaze felt oddly gentle now.

“Yokodera. Let me ask you one more time. What are you searching for that made you come here?”

The two of us looked at each other. We stood in front of the forgotten storehouse, in front of the forgotten God.

“…Well, it’s not that big of a deal…”

“It’s fine. I will hear you out.”

The house was filled with silence. Waiting for me to tell the inconvenient reality in this convenient world.

“…I… No, we… were fighting—”

In order to save you, in order to stop the curse put on your family, in order to protect your family, we have been fighting for a long time. I held down my throat, trying to suppress the pain, continuing to cough, but I couldn’t form any words.

“So this is where you were.” A small kitten showed her face from the main house.

The sound that had been ringing from my phone this entire time had been ‘Hush Little Baby’.

“Both of you suddenly vanished, and you didn’t even answer my call, so I had to rely on the sound to find you.” She was wearing an apron with a black cat design around her waist. She looked like a newlywed wife. So cute.

“…What were you two doing here?” She looked at us and then at the storehouse.

“Ah, well, we were taking a walk, talking about this and that. Since you were searching for us, that means…”

The young wife nodded. “The food is done. I made sukiyaki today.”

“Ohhh, now this is a blessing! You become wiser just by eating meat! I love it!” Steel-san spoke with a tone that was not wise at all and flashed a bright smile. “Let us proceed to eat. Yokodera, forget what I said, it was something weird.” She let out a breath and then made her way back.

The way she jumped up at certain intervals made her look like a childish Onee-san.

*

“…Did I interrupt you by any chance?” Tsukiko-chan whispered into my ear. “If I did, then I’m sorry.”

“I guess it was fairly important.”

“I see. So you finally confessed to Nee-san how you are a pervert who loves naked girls more than anything else.”

“That’s not a reality written in stone yet, and it’s not that important either, okay!?”

“…I believe it is more important than anything else.” Apron Tsukiko-chan gave me a slightly confused look.

Cute. I wish I could see her in a naked apron as well. I’d push her down right on the spot.

“So you are a pervert, after all…” Tsutsukakushi grabbed her apron’s hem as if to protect herself and looked up at me.

“Sorry, it seems that I do like naked girls after all! But aren’t you partially at fault after making me read all those notes!?”

“Not at all. Not in the slightest. I am merely a victim in all of this. So please, confess all of your sins to Nee-san.”

“Wait wait wait, there are no sins to confess! Don’t speak of something that doesn’t exist!” I pulled on Tsukiko-chan’s hand, making her stop when she tried to walk on ahead.

“But wasn’t it something important after all?”

“…Well, yeah. But I didn’t even know what to say, so you came at the right time.”

Since Tsutsukakushi looked sincerely apologetic, I decided to be honest. I shook my head. She had definitely interrupted us purely by coincidence. After all, the Tsutsukakushi I know would want us to get along and become as close as we had been before. She should have no reason to interrupt us.

“So then, did you achieve something?”

“I wonder.” I gave a vague answer.

With both Azuki Azusa and Steel-san, I felt like I might be able to take something back. Though I don’t know if calling it an ‘achievement’ is accurate or not.

“…The path seems long, doesn’t it?” Tsutuskakushi looked up to the sky and shook her head. “But I feel like we made good progress.”

“Are you okay with just that?”

“It was just fine.”

“That game of Daifugō, where Steel-san and MaiMai got fired up, where Azuki Azusa was confused, and where MaiMai got even more aggressive up to the point where I let out shrieks?”

“It was the best.” She affirmed strongly, without hesitation.

Oh. Well, maybe she’s just seeing things that I’m not? I guess that’s the same for everyone. I saw things Steel-san didn’t, and Tsukiko-chan saw things I didn’t. If I were to borrow the words of the Yokodera-kun notes—

—We live right next to each other in the same world. However, that doesn’t mean we always see the same things and scenery, and experience the same things. That’s impossible. We are right next to each other in this world, never overlapping, merely leaning against each other.

“…Far, yet close. Because we’re far, it’s fun. Maybe we can become like that again?” I said indifferently, without hope or despair.

“I’m sure you can. We will take back everything you have lost.” Tsukiko-chan nodded.

“I see.”

We walked along the porch, and I looked up at the night sky. There’s a full moon today. The fully-stuffed Otsuki-sama was looking down at us, not blocked by any clouds. A typhoon would not arrive in this world. The house will not disappear, and the Cat Statue won’t laugh ominously. Summer will end safely, and nobody will cry in this safe world. Thanks to someone wishing for this world’s happiness.

“Cards.” Tsukiko-chan said calmly. “I’m glad you kept your promise.”

“…Yeah.”

“I’m sure that my wish will be granted as well.”

“…Yeah.”

“Next round, let’s make it so that the loser has to strip.”

“…Yeah! Wait, seriously!? You’re more of a pervert than I am!”

We walked along the same hallway, not mixing together, merely putting our shoulders together. Tsutsukakushi’s profile, illuminated by the shining moon, was something I could look at forever.

*

Thinking back on it, I should have considered the meaning behind Tsukiko-chan’s wish a bit more.

The storm still came. It was just belated.

---

1 This seems to be talking about ‘The Moon Over the Mountain: Stories by Attsushi Nakajima’, referencing the characters Richou and Ensan.