Hentai Ouji to Warawanai Neko. Volume 12 Chapter 1

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Together with the Pervert, for now—

“If you really feel happy about that, can I do the same to you, Senpai?”

“Some other time.”

“When?”

“It’s gonna be a while. Once you get back your expressions, I’m sure.”

Or so read the Yokodera-kun notes’ first volume.

The action of reading a book, when you think of it in its most basic form, resembles sex.

Or so I tried to make clear, but I was immediately told that something was wrong with my head, that I was rude, was forced to apologize, was hit with a political correctness staff, and was forced into participating in some national pervert correction festival, but I wasn’t joking around or anything.

I’m completely serious. I see the idea of reading a book much in the same way as sexual intercourse. You chase the words along the written paper and create a third-dimensional picture of the things written inside your head. No matter how delicate your writing abilities and depictions are, or no matter how much information you add, the possibilities are endless.

Even if you choose to talk about a single, simple egg, and everyone reads the same exact depiction of it, the pictures drawn inside everyone’s head will most likely never be the same. The reader derives their own special type of pleasure, creating their own world for their entertainment. In other words, using the author’s description of an egg, each reader can use their wild imagination to create a new world. Or you create a new life form.

“That’s why…” I said.

“Yes?”

“…You and I have been continuing this for more than half a year now! I’ve been reading your notes the entire time. Sex! We’ve been going at it like rabbits, showering each other with our love!”

“Have you gone completely crazy, you pervert? The readers will shower you with complaints and interviews.”

“Ahh, it’s about to be born! I can feel it! Ufufu! Ahh, I am giving birth to Tsukiko-chan’s eggggggg!!”

“So it’s already too late. I was an idiot for even trying. It seems like we need to hold a true festival where we shoot all perverts into the sky like fireworks.” A cold gaze I can’t even hope to describe came from Tsukiko-chan.

However, I want you to imagine the kind of face she is making. Give birth to your own individual Tsukiko-chan in your own world!

“For crying out loud. You’re the kind of person who could cool down a love that had lasted for centuries in a single moment.” Tsutsukakushi let out a sigh and brushed grass off of her knees.

She stretched her small body and stared at me.

“Also, have you finished reading everything?”

“Yeah, it was super interesting. I want to take responsibility for these feelings and raise the child.”

“Why are we still talking about that…?”

The sun had started to set, and a comfortable breeze blew past us as we sat on the hill. It really was perfect for a picnic. That’s why I remained seated here, reading the notes Tsukiko-chan gave me. It really was like we had continued our picnic.

The Yokodera-kun notes: Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko made it her duty to write down everything Yokodera Youto did into a compilation of eleven volumes. It describes reality, not once stooping to Tsukiko-chan’s subjective view, and summarizes everything from my point of view.

…Well, there were a few times when I thought ‘Isn’t there a bit of a bias in here?’. Usually whenever Yokodera Youto was in contact with a girl.

For example… During our first summer together, when both Tsutsukakushi and I both had our own worries and prayed to the Cat God, and it led to the entire incident related to our honest feelings and facade.

“Not caring if it was day or night, you would always push me down mercilessly.”

“I feel like that was more of an accident, but why does it feel like you’ve turned the depictions of Yokodera Youto’s thoughts into those of some ravenous beast?”

“Unthinkable. You were more than happy for all of that to happen. This is the canonical truth, and whatever is written in historical records is indisputable.”

“…So researching history is basically useless, huh?”

While we fought, I had found out the secret of the animal-loving noble lady—Azuki Azusa. I managed to get my facade back from her, but Tsutsukakushi gave her expressions and honest feelings to her older sister. That was when I decided, from the bottom of my heart, that I wanted her to get them back.

Then summer break came to an end, and the typhoon approached us. Locked inside the ancient, large Tsutsukakushi Household, I figured out the real location of the Cat God.

“We saw each other naked, and I even turned into a sushi roll. But I’m glad I at least managed to get along with your older sister in the end.”

“So in Senpai’s language…”

“Hm?”

“The action of kissing each other goes along with your idea of getting along, I see. Hm, hm hm.”

“Y-You’re wrong! What happened at the government office was an accident, okay!? Steel-san was probably confused as well, so that doesn’t count!”

“…We’re talking about my late-bloomer of a Nee-san, so I don’t think you should be saying that.”

“Can you stop being kind-hearted and irritated at the same time!?”

The typhoon that had plagued us was actually something Tsukiko-chan had created. Feeling unbearably lonely with just the two of them in the large house, she wanted there to be a reason for me to stay there, even against my will.

And you can’t forget about the choir star of the church, Emi. She would call me Onii-chan, clinging to me whenever possible while her reddish-colored hair fluttered in the wind. Around the time we met each other, the school suddenly changed, and various Italian houses and sights popped up all around.

“Atop the highest clocktower, the Happy Prince-san kissed the Princess Swallow and made her happy. And then they lived happily ever after.”

“We cut it pretty close, but I’m glad everything worked out in the end.”

“That’s right. You managed to chase the evil Cat God away from inside A-chan. It’s definitely not like you wanted to kiss her or anything.”

“Tsukiko-chan?”

“Before it was Nee-san, then it was A-chan. Normally, this would be a violation of the Number One-san Protection Law, and you would be locked up for all eternity, but since you did this out of goodwill, you just barely managed to get away, my dear prince.”

“Tsukiko-chan? Aren’t you reading a different story altogether?”

The one who caused this incident wasn’t the pumpkin Emi. Indeed, it was I—Yokodera Youto—who had wished for this in the distant past. I found out that I had something like a memory eater in my brain.

After that, I went to play a game with Steel-san, the vice club president, and went to the amusement park with Tsukiko-chan and Azuki Azusa. Eventually, my path led me back to the past—To the past ten years ago when the mother of the Tsutsukakushi sisters, Tsukasa-san, was still alive. I met the young and wise Steel-san, the young and wild Tsukiko-chan, and the young and strong me as we stayed at the residence. And then, I found out the reason as to why Yokodera Youto would always lose his memories.

“In the end, I really liked Tsukasa-san, huh…?”

“It wasn’t not just you, it was everyone. We all loved Mother.”

“…Yeah, you’re right.”

What’s really important doesn’t remain in your head, but your heart.

This phrase was written at the very end of the volume. It might have been something like a wish in itself. To me, and to Tsukiko-chan.

During the field trip, we went to the Chūbu region, to Zenkō-ji and Togakushi Village. The next club president of the track-and-field club, Maimaki Mai, also known as MaiMai, as well as her friend Cozy-sama, Azuki Azusa, and I were in the same group, and Tsukiko-chan snuck with us as well. Then, MaiMai and I switched bodies.

“There was a happy embarrassing iron board event, too! I even went into the same bath with you and Azuki Azusa! Haha, just kidding~”

“…The worst.”

“Well… yeah. Even I’m a bit disgusted by that.”

“…I didn’t even notice the body change, and I was even done in by A-chan in the bath… I really am the worst.”

“Um, Tsukiko-chan?”

“Even though I kept saying I was number one, I was the most useless…”

“Tsukiko-chan opened the door to darkness! That’s not true! Calm down, Tsukiko-chan!”

“I… am the number one… Uuu…”

Anyway, a lot happened, and I became friends with the vice club president. No matter who you talk to, we all have our bags to carry. In the end, we just have to come to terms with that and face forward. I know this from experience.

During Christmas, I spent time at Azuki Azusa’s place and enjoyed the first shrine visit with the others near the Tsutsukakushi’s place. Besides the incident with Steel-san, who was focusing on the Central Exam, it was a peaceful start to the year. If you ignore the fact that some suspicious individual was following us around.

“I-I just happened to run into Senpai at the shrine, okay? There was no ‘following around’ involved.”

“Why did you think I was referring to you when I mentioned a ‘suspicious individual’, Tsukiko-chan?!”

“…If I’m wrong, then that’s fine. I have grown, after all. I wouldn’t be so childish as to follow you around.”

“…Yeah, I guess you have changed…?”

After the field trip, there was some odd tension between Tsukiko-chan and Azuki Azusa, but they made up without me even doing anything. I was glad about that. I didn’t do anything to help. Because I couldn’t—Like I wasn’t needed.

That was why I wanted to be needed. Ever since I lived with Tsukasa-san, I wanted to become a hero who could save others. I wanted to help those who had trouble at places far away from me. Just like the Happy Prince. The black shadow that was born after my conversation with Emi’s Papa acted in my stead, using my body, and took care of all sorts of problems.

“Even without that, Senpai is still Senpai.”

“Right.”

“You don’t have to do anything.”

“Yeah.”

“…But you don’t feel that way, do you?”

“…Sorry.”

During the marathon, the shadow and I became one, but that ended with Tsukiko-chan and I being separated by a great rift. At the same time, Steel-san’s cold started.

Eventually, the loop started. No matter how many times we redid everything, Steel-san would eventually collapse, and Yokodera Youto would choose to sacrifice himself. Using the notes as a helping hand, Tsukiko-chan was the only one who kept her memories. Even so, we repeated failure and despair again and again, and broke down from the mental influence.

The one who wished for the loop was Emi’s Papa (and the Cat God, actually). In order to guarantee an ideal world for the Tsutsukakushi Family, they continued to redo the world over and over, but on the 99th attempt, there was a fatal error.

“Emi-san aside, I didn’t think you were enough of a pervert to assault another man…”

“I didn’t mean that when I said ‘fatal error’…”

“The fact that you couldn’t hold back your desires remains a fact, Presumed Perpetrator-san.”

“Way off! I just pictured the Cat God as a super cute girl and chose the most effective method, namely to make it break down and cry!”

“Outrageous Death Penalty-san.”

After we talked to the weeping Cat God-chan in a gentle way, we headed to the past again. In order to redo everything.

What awaited us was our former child bodies. The young genius Steel-chan grew friendly with the minimini MaiMai, we got Ma-chan and A-chan to make up, and all these incidents led me to even forget my original goal.

“For crying out loud. I know that your mind was slowly reverting back to a child, but you were having way too much fun.”

“But Tsukiko-chan, weren’t you acting like a five-year old, enjoying that kind of lifestyle in your own way…?”

“…Not at all. Show me your evidence.”

“E-Evidence?”

“For a SENSITIVE MATTER you need FACTS and DRASTIC COMMITMENT. Do you really have that in your BUSINESS, perverted Senpai?”

“I don’t really get it, but perverted business with Tsukiko-chan sounds kind of hot.”

“What are you thinking about? You became a child, so I had to wake you up, that’s all.”

“Hmm… a mended lid for a cracked pot…”

It would have been great if we could have continued to flirt like that forever. However, that wouldn’t work. Tsukasa-san collapsed, got a checkup from Azuki Azusa’s Papa, who was a doctor, and Emi’s Papa came and thanked us.

Through that, both Tsukiko-chan and I learned that there was no real evil in this world. Instead, we learned that the problem related to the Tsutsukakushi Family, the reason for Steel-san’s sickness, and the root of the entire story, were all related to the short-lived Tsukasa-san. When she realized that she didn’t have much longer to live, she fell into despair.

In her last moments, she prayed for me, Yokodera Youto, to be freed from my role as the Happy Prince, so that I’d no longer be forced to give away my treasures for the sake of others.

And then the world changed. Everything was reset. The history we had walked through so far, and the future we would walk from then on, were split. I enjoyed happiness with my own family, never visited anyone else’s family, and never had to worry about honest feelings or facades. After that, the girl who had suffered from the same disease as her mother, the girl who was separated from her childhood friend, and the girl who was summoned from a foreign country to be toyed with—they all spent their days in happiness.

As a result, I would wander through town, merely satisfied with this dream I had. Finally, atop of the hill with the single cedar, I would walk past the girl with her tail-like hair, passing by each other—

However, that did not happen.

“I won’t let you say farewell like this. I won’t forget you, Senpai.” Tsukiko-chan said strongly.

She carried the notes close to her chest, like they were the sole connection she had to someone else and their world. They held all my memories.

“But these notes are definitely written with a biased point of view! I acted more like a gentleman! I can’t sexually harass little girls!”

“Ohh? Do elaborate.”

“If you think about it logically, the girl I had pushed down isn’t small at all. She is a proper lady. So have confidence in yourself! Don’t rely on the law! So let’s make some children together!”

“Which mouth is saying that? This mouth? What a bad mouth.” She pulled on my cheeks.

Ahh, so rough! I love it!

“For crying out l—” Tsukiko-chan’s sigh vanished.

A wind blew across the hill. Her trademark tail-hair shook in the wind, and she tried pushing her skirt down.

“…For crying out loud. However, that is Senpai, I guess. Senpai is always like this, and I will always complain.” She gently caressed the cheek she had just been pulling on, like she was trying to confirm my existence.

Her large, black gemstone eyes were looking into mine as I sat there. Forehead to forehead, nose to nose, and chin to chin, we nearly touched when she brought her face near.

“Fight and make up, save and be saved, approach each other, and walk next to each other into the future.”

Her nose moved, like she was trying to confirm my scent, my presence. I looked at Tsutsukakushi from up close, looked at her facial features, and felt her breath blowing against me. It was like she was holding her own treasure in her own palms, like a kitty playing with a toy she loved.

“We spent a lot of time together, didn’t we?”

“…In a different world?”

“In a world that definitely happened.”

She was such a fragile girl, and yet her eyes were so strong. She had a strong will, was easily annoyed, would often hold back and yet could be oddly selfish at times, and was cute and lovable. I know everything there is to know about Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko.

Of course, all of this happened in a different world. It’s all something completely unrelated to the version of me who is sitting here. I haven’t experienced any of it. But, if what Tsutsukakushi said is true, then it did happen. My heart told me so. What’s really important doesn’t remain in your head, but your heart—just like Tsukasa-san had told me years ago.

This is a story born from people’s wishes. I continued reading all these volumes, all these stories about people working for other people’s sake. Another breeze blew past us. The pages of notes fluttered in the wind, and a bookmark flew out. Tsukiko-chan reached for it—

“…Achoo.” And let out a sneeze.

I realized that the sun was setting. The color blue was slowly starting to fill the sky. The shade the tree cast began to vanish, announcing the beginning of a new night.

“Tsukiko-chan, shall we go back?”

“To where?”

“To where we belong.”

“…That sounds good. Let’s go.”

Tsukiko-chan took the hand I offered her. We held hands and walked down this familiar summer hill next to each other.

It’s time to stop reading. From here on out, we have to live in this reality. In order to remember both what is important and who is important.