If you like our work, please follow us on our social media, join our discord and consider supporting us on Patreon:
https://discord.gg/e4BJxX6
https://www.patreon.com/CClawTrans
Chapter 1: Yokodera Route
I felt dizzy. My field of view shook, and I was assaulted with a sensation like the world was vibrating. For a moment, I failed to understand where I was standing. Anxiety assaulted me. Everything spun at the same time. Just like water, like clouds, and like destiny itself, staying in the same place forever is impossible.
Everything changes. As long as you live on this cruel earth, the flow of time moves on mercilessly. At their core, humans are solitary beings. We can only see things from our own subjective position, filtered by our personal opinions.
My world belongs to me, and your world belongs to you. The subjectivity of both worlds always are at odds with each other. My world and your world can never become one. I live alone in this lonely world of mine. For this reason, I’m sure there are people who don’t know in the truest sense what world they live in, or maybe they aren’t even aware that they don’t know. They might act like they do, though.
More importantly, where is this? What time is it right now? What world is this?
“—Yeah, right.” I shook my head.
I gazed up at the sky like a lion contemplating life. My world isn’t so weak that it would be shaken by mere vertigo. Even if I believe in the Buddhist teachings about the circle of souls and reincarnation, I won’t suddenly turn into a peerless beauty who can cook for herself. No matter how desperate I am for time travel, I won’t be teleported right into the scene of Tsutsukakushi taking a bath. Man, I’d love to experience an adventurous comedy, like a story world where a naked girl falls from the sky!
Sadly, my consciousness still remained. I found myself at the first exam day of the National University. I had just seen off our beloved examinee Steel-san. After Emi and I finished that, we strolled around aimlessly in front of the university’s gate. The great legion of exam soldiers passed us by, and by the time the bell rang for the exam to start, normalcy had returned. Only cars and their resultant exhaust fumes filled the streets.
“I can’t say this is a change for the better…”
The February breeze was cold enough to make me cry frozen tears. I slowly started walking.
“…Oh, wah! What’s wrong, Onii-chan?”
“Nothing. I was just feeling a bit dizzy.”
“Hmmm?” Still snuggling up to me inside my coat, Emi came to a halt.
The back of her small head rubbed against my stomach as she looked up at me. Even in this cold winter weather, her red hair stood out, radiating brilliantly. Her big round eyes and her squishy cheeks emphasised the fleeting beauty of everything that is alive. Her warmth exceeded that of an adult, and she was a perfect pocket warmer.
“Can you not stop suddenly like that? The main problem of a three-legged race is communication.” The young teen Emi, star of the three-legged race, stomped the ground, disgruntled.
Yet she showed no signs of moving away from my body. She kept clinging to me as much as before. I know that she’s a dangerous lolita regulated by law, but a pocket warmer Emi-chan should pose no problem, right? She can stay like this forever.
“Why are you grinning like that?!”
“I’m not grinning at all. What are you talking about?”
“Disgusting!”
When I embraced her from behind, brimming with affection, Emi started struggling and yelling.
“I’m coming with you because you wanted to search for that guy!”
“That guy?”
“Even I don’t really know, but…”
“Yeah?”
“There’s this black shadow inside of you, and he’s a superhero that can do anything, who gets you into all sorts of dangerous situations, such as the marathon for example, and now this hooded man appeared again. I’m not scared at all or anything, I’m just warming myself inside of your coat, waiting for Tsuu-chan’s Onee-chan to finish her exam!”
“I see. That’s right!”
Just as Emi said, I am on the lookout for the man wearing the hoodie who was walking around the university area. He’s the one with the dark, gloomy eyes. Do you all remember him?
“Thanks for the explanation of recent events, Emi!”
“Don’t rub my cheeks like that!”
I finally got to feel a 3D person who lived in my world. She really is an angel. The angel Emi is even more invincible than an angel.
“More importantly…”
“Yeah?”
We shared unhealthy high-fives, and we soon grew wary of the people around us, who looked ready to call the police.
“That hooded man is nowhere to be found. I wonder what his plan is.”
“If I had to guess…” Emi grabbed the hem of my shirt.
“Emi?”
“…It’s nothing.”
She hid deeper inside my coat. She cut herself off from everything in the outside world, hiding herself entirely. She’s like a villager from the middle ages who’s scared of a witch.
I don’t know why, but Emi really dislikes the hooded man. I guess you could call it a kind of primitive fear. She might even know something I’m completely oblivious to. But there’s another target whom I have to be wary of.
Emi’s Papa. He seems to be a university professor researching the Cat God statues, but his shady actions and shady way of talking makes him sort of an enigma. Thanks to him, I gained the black shadow a few days back. I have to be careful when dealing with him. Although I can’t tell his precious daughter that.
“I guess the two of us aren’t enough…” Emi looked around, slightly worried.
Splitting up might allow us to cover more ground, but the two of us are like one connected being. As such, we continued to move together as one. One two, one two! Our breathing overlapped as the endless immortal loli points started gathering inside of my body. Speaking of loli points, I wonder what would happen if the Demon Lord of Darkness-chan saw us here. Would she step on a particular hard part of my body?
“…I can smell that you’re thinking about something lewd…”
“It’s a misunderstanding, my darling. I am merely thinking of the state of flux and balance for the correctly distributed portfolio of the world economy’s GDP.”
“Huh. Speaking of smells, is Tsuu-chan coming?”
“I don’t understand how you can ignore the world’s economy and jump from smells to Tsukiko-chan, but didn’t I tell you? She’s preparing food for Steel-san for when she’s exhausted once the exam is over.”
“…Hmmm?”
“What?”
“Nothing. I thought that she would come support her Onee-chan until the last possible moment.” Emi spoke with an unnatural tone.
She might have her doubts about something. But it was true that she was cooking right now. At the very least, that’s what she told me, so it wasn’t a lie on my part.
I knew it. Senpai is like this.
Her words remained in my ears, those words she had whispered in my direction when we passed each other. When I was bedridden, she came to visit me. But I ignored her objections and still went to save someone.
Ever since then, an awkward atmosphere has come between the two of us. The rift between us was too small to call it a quarrel, and too large for us to really hold a quarrel in the first place. In the past, Tsutsukakushi would get angry right when I thought she wouldn’t, and would argue with me when I thought she wouldn’t.
“For crying out loud…” I let out a sigh.
Everything in this world continues to change. There is no relationship that ever stays the same. No matter how much trust you build up, no matter how much you like each other, your relationship will change if you disagree on something. Even relationships like the one between Tsutsukakushi and I.
“Youto-onii-chan, what’s wrong? Did something happen between you and Tsuu-chan?” Emi looked up at me, her sensitive sensors sensing sensitively. “If you’ve ended up in a fight with Tsuu-chan, why not ask Emi—”
“Guhihihi…”
“…Fueh? What?”
“Since you’re saying all these weird things, why don’t I touch you some more, Emi-chan?!”
“Gunyaaaaa!?”
The girl is sensitive to the mood around her, and so is her body. While I touched parts of her that would land me in prison just for naming them, I happened to notice something.
“Did you grow?”
“Where did that come from, huh?!”
Since everything in this world is bound to change, maybe this cute Emanuella-chan will grow up one day? I can’t forgive such a ludicrous reality! As a member of the Japan-Wide Lolicon Preservation Organization, I have to protect this girl at all costs!
You might be asking, ‘So you’re going to protect the lolis all over the country?’, and our organization has been battling this question nonstop for months. The number one rule of every member is to love lolita girls unconditionally. It’s time for an emergency meeting, everyone!
“Let go of me already, pervertido pumpkin!”
“Aha, ahahaha, that hurts… Ouch, that really hurts! My nose!”
“Get crushed, get smashed, bang bang boom boom moron pumpkin!”
“Emi-chan, you have to stop! My nose will be ruined forever!”
“Just when I was concerned about you… You… You… I don’t care anymore!” Emi pouted as she tugged and twisted my nose.
She put a lot of strength into her grip. Honestly it was a stark contrast to the weakness she had shown when we talked about the hooded man.
“I’m sure you made Tsuu-chan angry again. Just go apologize!”
“…Yeah. As long as I apologize, we should be able to get back to normal.”
“I can’t keep watching you like this. It makes me feel like an idiot for taking you seriously!”
“I can feel Japan’s birth rate increasing just from looking at you. Should we start?”
“Start what?! Do you want me to crush your nose completely?!”
I barely resisted. Having my nose crushed is no big deal. If I let this continue, I can become Pinocchio, and nobody will be able to tell when I’m lying.
“Haha, what a weird face! What a Jack O’ Lantern you are!” Emi laughed with a naive tone, warming my cold heart.
Happiness means being able to talk about whatever, and laugh about whatever. I laughed, and Emi laughed. A girl is smiling because of me. If only times like these could continue forever. My wish is to always be happy. I wished for it more than anybody else. I wished it so hard that I would be willing to hand over the jewels decorating my own body.
*
Azuki Azusa came to visit us around noontime. A day had passed since I invited her to help encourage Steel-san.
“I’m sorry, I ended up being late!”
She spotted us standing in front of the gate, and she came running over. The sight reminded me of a puppy. I really think that accessories like dog ears, a collar, and a tail might look really good on her. She’d definitely crush any competition.
“Uuu…”
While I was watching Azuki Azusa, I felt Emi shiver. Never would I have imagined that this encounter would cause a great fissure between a member of the Japan-Wide Lolicon Preservation Organization member and the one he protects. The Agency member greeted Azuki Azusa nonchalantly.
“It’s going to be noon soon, so you’re totally on time… But what are you carrying behind your back?”
“Ehehe! Praise me, praise me!” The second I asked her that, a desperate ‘Praise me’ aura started emanating from her.
Actually, she just said it out loud. Her tail was wagging back and forth.
“I made this myself! I worked all night like a woodpecker!” Azuki Azusa puffed out her chest.
I will leave the debate of whether anything there jiggled as a result for another time. Behind her back, she held a large staff with fabric hanging down from it. Half of the fabric was dragging along the ground, kicking up a cloud of dust as it dragged along the pedestrian crossing. When I looked closer, there were words written on it.
“Tada!”
“Um…’Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi Surefire Victory’, ‘Absolute Success’, ‘You can do it if you try’, ‘Keep trying’, ‘Work hard, work harder’, ‘Work hard until you die’, ‘Work hard even if it kills you’…”
“It’s a banner to help motivate her!”
“It’s great that you went that far, but it’s kind of disgusting to look at!”
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, as they say. The type of person who can put this much pressure in her words and actions sure is scary.
“Now let’s hold this high somewhere she can see it!” Azuki Azusa held one end of the banner with one hand and offered the other end to me—to another hand that wasn’t mine.
“…Huh? I see four arms…” She blinked and looked at the inside of my coat. Then she noticed someone she hadn’t before.
Her gaze slowly lowered down.
“……”
“……”
Their eyes met.
“—Arrivederci!”
Immediately, the ninja Emi started running, using some sort of ninja arts technique.
“Eh, eh?”
She left us both behind, creating a large distance between us. I felt sad about losing her warmth from inside of me. If there was one thing Emanuella-chan was bad at dealing with, then it had to be Azuki Azusa. It was like Emi thought she was the origin of her trauma related to the Cat God.
Ever since the Italy incident, when she had been practically tortured up on that clock tower, Emi had trouble talking with Azuki Azusa. Even when they met at the field trip and at Tsutsukakushi’s birthday party, she immediately avoided any contact.
“There has to be some sort of misunderstanding…!” Azuki Azusa chased after her.
Someone like her who loves everything cute and nice probably can’t stand the idea that Emi is running away from her. More importantly, Emi was still holding the banner. Pulling it after her, she kept running.
“W-Wait…!” Azuki Azusa chased after her precious handiwork.
“The only person I’ll wait for is a police officer!” Emi started running even faster.
I don’t get what she’s trying to say, but I figure she must be really desperate, considering that she doesn’t even realize she’s still holding the banner. Azuki Azusa had a desperate expression on her face, which probably scared Emi even more. This is an endless cycle of sadness, isn’t it?
“Why… why…!!”
“Don’t come! Don’t come any closer!”
“Wait! Let’s talk things out…!”
One was running away like her life depended on it, the other was close to breaking out in tears. Their game of chase even led them inside the university. I always wondered what such a scene would look like, but I can’t even enjoy it now. At the very least, let me chase after you!
“Wait, wait, wait!”
“Don’t come here! Don’t come any closer!”
“Hey, oi, hey!”
That last voice was mine, by the way. Running like this is fun! Everyone is welcome to join the track-and-field club!
We passed a bit of time like this until the university’s bell rang. Apparently, the examinees were now on their lunch break, and several of them came outside to get a breath of fresh air. When they saw the young girl carrying a banner being chased by another girl, they made faces like the end of the world had come.
Allow me to briefly speak about the topic of Murphy’s Law. This law states that anything that could possibly go wrong will go wrong. A bit of snow had fallen last night, and as a result the ground was slightly frozen. Azuki Azusa, thanks to her teary eyes, could not possibly hope to see this. She’s not the type of person to exercise much, anyway. Of course, there was only one thing that could happen.
“—Ah!” Azuki Azusa lost her footing, and she fell into the thicket in front of the fountain.
Roll, roll, bang. Loud, indescribable sounds came out from the thicket as she fell to the ground. If this was a fantasy world, she’d be treated to dinner by some underground folk, brought back inside a giant wicker clothes hamper, and get a happy end after defeating all the bad guys, but sadly things won’t work out that easily here.
“Are you okay!?”
“Auu…”
I ran over to her. She had dove headfirst right into the thicket, and her eyes were spinning. Her clothes were in disarray here and there, revealing all kinds of skin.
“Hey, what are you doing over there?!”
Behind me, I could hear the fierce voice of a security guard approaching us. He’s probably more than ready to throw us off campus without hesitation, considering that today is such an important day for the school.
“Um…” After I helped her up, Azuki Azusa observed her surroundings, growing pale.
The people looking at us were put off even more. They were in the middle of preparing for the exam, holding their study books. They were trying to focus, and yet these brats were causing a ruckus right in front of them. We were crossing the lines of good and bad and going directly to evil.
“Um… I’m sorry, I just lost myself…” Brushing away the grass on her nose, Azuki Azusa apologized, close to breaking out in tears.
Now we went and done it. If this was a porn magazine, the male students here would use this as blackmail to threaten her and force her to strip for shady business. As you should know, she’s weak against this sort of thing. An incident like this could plague her forever. I can’t allow her to cry. That was why I raised both of my hands high into the air.
“Hold on a second! I’ll be the one who strips instead! So look at me! …..Oh?”
Right when I put my hands on my belt, both of my arms were restrained. The security guard was standing behind me, glaring at me with an expressionless face. Am I in the wrong? A girl is allowed to strip, but a boy isn’t? Whatever happened to gender equality?!
I tried explaining myself, but I was still restrained. I’m going to be taken away?! I heard sirens in the distance… White and red colors, coming from an ambulance. Weird. This shouldn’t have happened.
I found myself in the security office, surrounded by stern-looking old men. There I was questioned about my place of residence, my motives and my personal history. After I accepted that this was an unskippable story cutscene, I started preaching to them about world peace. They must have quickly realized that I was a lost cause, as they had me sign several warning papers, filed a restraining order that banned me from entering the university, and eventually threw me off the campus.
After that, whenever I simply walked somewhere vaguely close to the gate, the security guards would form a giant wall. I feel like a superstar getting attention from the paparazzi. I wonder if there’s some kind of magic item that could turn these guys into beautiful girls who are cheering for me?
Although we made no progress on our quest to find the hooded man, the situation called for us to put that search on hold for now.
“…I’m sorry, Yokodera.”
“For what?”
“You tried stopping us, and yet you were the one who was punished for it.” Azuki Azusa’s face was downcast in guilt. “I wanted to come here for support, but only caused a scene…” Since that was absolutely what had happened, I couldn’t exactly cheer her up, but there are times as a man when you have to speak up.
“I know you had the best of intentions. It’s true that maybe we overdid it a bit, but we’ve learned something from this, I guess?” I came up with some worthless lines that were no emotional support whatsoever and rubbed Azuki Azusa’s head.
“R-Really…?” Azuki Azusa’s expression lit up a bit.
She’s a really kind and honest girl.
“…I think Onii-chan just wanted to strip, if you ask me.” Emi walked on my opposite side, pouting.
She was as wary of Azuki Azusa as before. She looked like a scared rabbit. But since she wasn’t running away anymore, I guess she has grown a bit. Humans can get along better as long as they strip! I want to share this truth with the entire world. Welcome, our wonderful nudist world!
*
After we split up with Emi, we headed to the Tsutsukakushi Household to store Azuki Azusa’s precious self-made banner. We pressed the chime, and then…
“Oh, thanks for coming to see me this morning.”
Steel-san greeted us, which surprised me. I was kicked out of the university around the time the exams ended. Since we didn’t take any detours on the way home, we should have arrived earlier than Steel-san.
“Maybe I just overtook you somewhere? More importantly, come join us for dinner! It’s Tsukiko’s homemade food!”
Without even asking the actual cook for permission, Steel-san invited us in. I guess she just hurried home to eat her little sister’s dinner? We handed Steel-san the banner, and she nodded happily.
“I’m feeling much more motivated now that I’ll be able to taste the food she made for me.” She accepted it, then looked at us quizzically. “However, I have to ask… Why are you covered in dirt?”
We sat lined up on the house’s porch, drenched in the orange setting sun, waiting for the food to be done. As we told Steel-san about the course of events, she let out a roar of laughter.
“Ahahaha!” In her mirth she shook my shoulder, which made me feel a bit embarrassed.
It was a gesture like that looked great on her otherwise commanding and confident facial features. It seems like her laughing has become more grown-up than what it was before.
“Um, it might be a bit late for this, but…” Azuki Azusa was sitting next to us, and she awkwardly raised a hand. “It might be a bit late to say this, but… since you’re an examinee, should you really be talking about unimportant things like these?”
“Things like what?”
“I mean… slipping and falling, and all…”
“You really care about the oddest things.” Steel-san grinned.
“…It’s not odd at all!” Azuki Azusa sounded a bit agitated. “They call it kotodama1, right? You have to treasure souls.”
“Are you saying that those kinds of invisible souls and mysterious words have an influence on me?”
“Y-Yeah…”
“You mean to tell me that the soul residing inside of my own body is so weak that it would be moved by words and such?”
“…Um…”
“Which is it? Is that it? Is it not? Hmm?”
“…It doesn’t have anything to do with anything!” Azuki Azusa buried her face in her collar, ignoring this reality that doesn’t always happen in animal lands.
“It really is unexpected.” The violent Onee-sama, subconsciously emitting stifling pressure, turned towards me. “You know that I don’t support those who keep going on and on about their superstitious beliefs.”
“That’s right. You don’t even believe in the Cat God, either.”
“I won’t let my life get turned upside-down just from a simple play on words. No matter how much I trip and fall, I will definitely pass these exams.”
“Ohhh…!”
“After all, I am the honor student of the Tsutsukakushi Family!”
“That’s Onee-sama for you!”
“Hahaha!”
“I knew you could do it!”
“Wahahaha!”
“The school’s opinion doesn’t matter at all!”
“Wahahahahaha!”
“Yet again, you managed to do the impossible!”
“Ha ha ha… Are you making fun of me?”
“N-Not at all!”
“I see. I would not be a woman worthy of the family if I were to let this stand, so let me prove it to you.” Steel-san said, brimming with confidence.
When I asked her what she meant, she mentioned that there was a skating rink in the large tennant building near the highway. Now I’m picking up what she’s putting down. It’s totally in season for the whole slipping and falling thing.
“If I slip there and still pass the exams, then it’ll show that I’m stronger than those kotodama, right?”
“You think so?”
“I think so!”
“But, Club President, aren’t you getting your priorities backwards?”
“Not at all! The stronger I am, the better. If I win, I belong to the loyalist army. If I lose, then I’m in the rebel army! What other thing aside from strength does a university examinee need?”
“Good grades on your exams, I guess?”
“…That is incorrect…” Steel-san grew silent.
She probably just wants an excuse to play around.
“…If you plan on going skating…” Tsutsukakushi poked her face in from the kitchen. She must have heard our conversation. “…How about next Saturday?”
“Oho, your reason being?”
“Highschool students pay half.”
I don’t know where she even got that information from, but that’s a scoop too big to ignore. She’s so careful with finances that it’s like she’s been a housewife for years.
“You’ll definitely be a great wife!”
“…Hmph.”
I applauded the girl briefly, but she just averted her eyes.
“Oh? Do you have a stiff neck by any chance?”
“……”
“Look over… here!”
“……”
“Tsukiko-chan! The water over here is so sweet!”
“………”
…Being ignored like this really hurts, you know.”
“…Nee-san needs a break too sometimes. We can tell how hard she’s working, after all.” Tsutsukakushi shook her head and returned to the kitchen to cut off our conversation.
She’s not flustered. I know that. I can see her cat-tail standing on edge. That gesture is definitely saying ‘I’m angry, you know? Can you not talk to me so casually? Hmm?’. Ever since the marathon came to an end, she’s been treating me coldly. What am I supposed to do about this? What kind of cold front is this?
“Seriously, this is taking it too far…” I kicked my feet up and down, still seated on the porch.
No matter how long this battle continues, nobody will profit from it. The story between Tsukiko-chan and I should be a Happy End. I have to act now. As the ancient philosopher Archimedes said: ‘Give me a lever and the principle of leverage, and I’ll move the world’. Though, realistically speaking, it’ll depend on the length of the lever and weight of the world.
A girl’s feelings, though, are heavier than the mass of a star in the sky. What kind of lever will I need to fix Tsukiko-chan’s mood? Maybe a longer one would be better? Or should it be as thick as possible? The harder the better? If I use a long, thick, solid lever, will Tsukiko-chan feel good again?
…Oh? I feel like this somehow has turned oddly lewd? Maybe Archimedes himself was excited by the same thing! Eureka!
“Then the four of us here can go as a group.”
While I was busy running away from reality with useless thoughts like these, they had already started making plans.
“Let us gather up on Saturday at 4pm. Hmm… Any other ideas?”
“Are you sure you want to invite me?” Azuki Azusa asked.
“Indeed. The more people the better… Mm… Cough, cough…”
“Mama and Papa… wouldn’t be good to ask, I guess. I think Ponta-kun is still overseas.”
“I just… Urk, realized we should invite Maimaki—Cough!”
“…A cold?”
“A fairy is sending off fireworks inside my throat—Cough, cough, cough!” I could hear Steel-san almost coughing her lungs out as she joked around.
That really doesn’t sound healthy.
“…It’s just a joke, really. Cough!”
She who said she didn’t believe in the power of kotodama acted like it was nothing.
*
Track-and-field. For the girl named Maimaki Mai, this is more important than a third meal. The former club president had made great accomplishments during the battle for the clubroom and sports grounds distribution. Since Maimaki Mai was following in her footsteps, the pressure was high.
We’re talking about MaiMai, who’s most likely the person who feels the greatest love towards Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi. It’s no exaggeration to say that she feels a need to even surpass the previous club president to display her own merits. Even if it rains, even if a typhoon comes, even if her parents collapse, even if school takes the day off, she would never quit being the club president.
Without track-and-field, her life means nothing. She’s surrounded by her beloved flower garden of club members, and she will make her precious club known to the world. That is the principle that the new club president MaiMai holds above all.
However, what if her beloved Steel-san invited her to go skating, on a Saturday of all days? Which would she prioritize? Would she prioritize the legacy of Steel-san, or run after the actual Steel-san? Naturally, there is only one answer.
“Everyone, line up! Roll call!”
“One!”
“Two!”
“Many!”
“Alright, start preparations!”
MaiMai gave orders from next to the skating rink as she counted the members of the track-and-field club. They met up with our group from the Tsutsukakushi Family and started putting on skating shoes. Showing judgement like the true club president that she was, she decided to hold today’s club practice here at the skating rink.
Although she swore to maintain the club as it was left behind by Steel-san, she also couldn’t miss out on this opportunity, thus she chose the best of both worlds. How clever, MaiMai!
“…Is that even possible?” I muttered, sitting on a bench.
“This will be good practice for preparing for the starting dash. Skating and track-and-field aren’t too far removed from each other. It makes sense if you take an academic perspective of society.” MaiMai spoke frankly as she put on her shoes right next to me.
Along with the club jersey, she was wearing a bright red scarf and a pair of stylish gloves to keep her hands warm. The tights wrapped around her legs and thighs emphasized her silhouette. It’s rare to see a girl from a sports club have such great fashion sense.
“So we’re talking about an academic society now…”
“Don’t get the wrong idea, pervert. I’m not talking about your genre of academic society.”
“What is my academic society anyway?”
“The ‘Universal Biological Academic Society’.”
“What kind of society is that?! Don’t make stuff like that up!”
“It exists.”
“What?”
“It exists.” MaiMai opened her smartphone and showed the screen to me.
Dear Google-sensei is opening my eyes to a whole new world. To my surprise, this Universal Biological Academic Society exists! I’ll have to become a doctor in the future and spread the beauty of healthy sex to young and old, male and female.
“How did you even hear about it, MaiMai?”
“It’s my hobby to look up sexual words online. Hey, what are you making me say, you pervert?”
“I really don’t see anything in our previous conversation that would cause me to be categorized as a pervert.”
“You just have to talk about these things at a skating rink! You’re really the worst.”
“Can you not blame others for your own disposition?!”
“Even your comebacks are thrusting at everything I say. You suck at it, too. You’re clearly a vir—”
“Stop that! Other people will hear you!”
“Haaaah… Why does it always end up like this when I talk to you? Get a grip already.”
“I feel like I’m the one with a good grip here. How about you?”
“We’re in the middle of club practice right now, so go away, pervert.” MaiMai pulled up her jersey’s zipper, clearly indicating our difference in standing, since I was wearing normal clothes.
At the same time…
“It’s my first time skating, so hold my hand!”
“So you still had some first times, huh?”
“Hey, what do you mean by that?”
“I’m saying that I’ll take all your first times, Yui.”
“Kyaa! You’re a pervert, Hikki.”
Club members I recognized were enjoying their youth right in front of us.
“…Sorry, what was that you said about the club being serious?” I looked at MaiMai, and she quickly averted her gaze.
When I looked closer, I could see lots of other club members flirting in a similar way. A flower garden of boys and girls was blossoming. What is this? Some kind of punishment for lonely people?
“Since Steel-san is here, I thought they’d take it a bit more seriously.”
“…I’ll be honest, I thought the same.”
“I have to question the views of the new club president!”
“…It is just as you say.”
“Will you take responsibility for letting the track-and-field club be engrossed in such a rosy atmosphere? Will you?!”
“…Sorry.”
It’s rare to see MaiMai being so honest. I was uncertain how to respond, when…
“Ouji-senpai!” A high-pitched voice rang out.
When I looked over, several girls were walking towards me.
“Oh…” I realized that I was making a sour face.
“Look at Ouji-senpai making a weird face like that!”
“He must be thinking about saving the world again or something like that!”
“He’s so cool!”
Three birds whose names and faces I didn’t even know started pushing their bodies against me. This must be some kind of act of terrorism. My steamed yeast bun is going to burst!
“…G-Get away from me for a second!”
“Don’t wanna~” “Right?” “Noo~” “You’re mine~” “Right?” “Mine~” and so on…
We ended up in an endless loop. When I was finally freed from this hellish paradise, MaiMai gave me a cold glare.
“What was that about enjoying a rosy atmosphere?” She asked.
“Well…” I averted my gaze.
“If only you weren’t there, the club activities today might have actually worked out.”
“I can’t deny that…”
“How could you have the nerve to even complain?”
“You’re right…”
“Take responsibility for playing with my juniors.”
“I’m sorry…”
MaiMai crossed her arms as she glared at me. Being blamed by the person you complained to sure feels gross. We are the couple who can both be on offense and defense!
By the way, let me give a brief explanation about what I meant when I was talking about the steamed yeast bun thing earlier. Currently, Yokodera-kun has many problems to deal with, and one of them is that so many girls are approaching him. Before the marathon, whenever the black shadow took over my consciousness, I would be a hero in everyone’s eyes, and I’d start acting like a saint.
Thanks to that, Yokodera-kun’s evaluation in the eyes of others has skyrocketed. This being the case, girls flock over to me at all times, which causes me a lot of trouble. Of course, I’m more than delighted by this when I’m Yokodera-kun.
However, I have to put an order to things. I want to save everyone equally, as long as my hand can reach them. I want to remove any situation that could cause a girl to cry. I want to create a world where everyone can laugh… Well, I guess it really is tough being popular!
“…There’s one thing I wanted to ask you.” MaiMai glanced over at me.
“What might that be?”
“You’ve been doing all sorts of things as of late. But don’t you have anything important to you?” Her question was incomprehensible to me.
More than I’m a pervert, I’m a simple human being. My treasured goods are very important to me!
“I have all sorts of things that are important to me!”
“For example?”
“For example…? …Anything?”
“…I see. That’s who you are. ‘Anything’, huh?” MaiMai let out an arrogant snort. “Even without track-and-field, as long as you can act, anything is fine. Everybody is fine, huh?” She hid her mouth inside her scarf, mumbling something.
I had no way of hearing her, much less reading her lips.
“That’s…”
When I tried to settle the debate between the track-and-field club and the baseball club, the black shadow had decided for me to leave track-and-field. He and I are the same person, so I can’t deny my own actions. That was the choice I had made back then. But for MaiMai, it probably came across much differently. She had been waiting all this time for me to come back to the club. For her, it must be like a betrayal.
“………”
She stabbed my profile with a sharp gaze. When I glanced over at her, she had already averted her eyes.
“You have no right to say anything about the club anymore. That’s all I wanted to say.” She dropped her gaze down to her track-and-field jersey, and put her hand on her chest. “So long, pervert.”
She slowly stood up and walked away. She walked a bit awkwardly thanks to the slim blades of her ice skates, but she never looked back at me. The track-and-field club members gathered around her , walking towards their radiating stage of youth.
“How dazzling…”
Unable to watch this scene, I covered my face with one hand and looked upwards. This ice skating rink’s ceiling was very far up. A lingering cold air emanated from the artificially-created rink, and frost lingered on the windows. Almost like it was clinging to the body, like an emotion. In the end, though, it’s artificial. Something you can erase by flipping a switch.
This skating rink only exists to bring joy to other people, so cleaning is part of the cost. That’s why there’s no meaning to be found searching for a reason behind the cold. These feelings have no importance whatsoever.
“‘So long, pervert,’ huh?”
Instead, I just repeated what she had said. I have no emotional attachment to the word ‘pervert.’ Just to let everyone out there know. Instead, I realized that she had stopped calling me by my nickname. I realized that we had stopped being MaiMai and YoYo.
“—See you, Maimaki.”
I sat on the bench again, muttering words that reached nobody’s ears. Yet again, I had ended up alone.
*
The Invigorating Prince would not stop here. There’s no time to get hung up on meaningless feelings.
“What are you doing there? Are you gonna skate?”
Someone suddenly put a hand on my shoulder. When I turned around, I spotted a carefree smile.
“Azuki Azusa…”
“Yokodera, you look like HACHI being left behind by Richard Gear in front of a train station on the American east coast.”
“What kind of example is that? Why a western movie?”
“A dog who sits and a dog who watches! If they’re both dogs, they should play! Hot dog!”
“That’s just a bad pun!”
“Enough already, let’s get slippery!”
That is the kind-hearted Azuki Azusa for you. She took a peek at my face, made a jovial expression, and tugged on my arm. No matter what I do, she surely will never get angry at me. She’ll never leave me alone. She’s like a goddess, someone who accepts everything I am. She pulled on my arm, and I lifted my body from the cold bench.
When I stood with the blades of my ice skates on the rink, I felt my feet biting into the ice. It’s a lot different from just walking on the ground normally. If I had to give an example about what it was like, I’d say it was like an older Onee-san gently biting you on the bed, or a young teenage girl hiding her embarrassment by biting you. Do you understand what I’m trying to say? Because I don’t.
“So Yokodera, Mama came up with a bridal collection plan for the next magazine.”
“Huh?”
“She needs lots of photos, but they don’t have enough people to model as husband and wife, so… Well…”
“Hmm?”
Azuki Azusa’s mother is a magazine editor. I feel like she’s told me before that she’s looking for models. I hope that she can find some people to model as a husband and wife! Anyway, it’s time for some ice skating!
“I-If you’re okay with it, maybe we could… Kya!” Azuki Azusa let out a shriek the instant she set foot on the rink.
She isn’t necessarily unathletic, but she definitely isn’t on the athletic side, either. If I had to guess, she’s at least three million times more clumsy than I am.
“Hold my hand. We can take it slow.”
“Don’t let go, okay? Don’t you dare let go!”
“I get it, I get it. It’ll be fine.”
“Hold both of my hands like we’re doing a gibbon’s love dance!”
“…Yeah?”
“It’s a promise! I won’t forgive you if it becomes a Nihonzaru’s2 belly dance!”
“I don’t think I get the metaphor, and I doubt the readers do either…”
Azuki Azusa stood shakily on her feet, desperately clinging to me. Her left leg was still standing on concrete, and her right leg was on the rink. Five minutes passed, and she stayed in that position. I decided that we wouldn’t make any progress like this, so I started slowly moving backwards onto the rink.
“N-No, don’t move…!” Cornered by my actions, Azuki Azusa started whining.
I expected as much, but this only lasted for a brief second. Someone suddenly pushed Azuki Azusa’s back.
“A-Ah?” Azuki Azusa was baffled, herself.
When I looked at her, her sweater had changed into an odd shape. Up until now, I had trouble coming to a conclusion about what was causing the imbalance in her chest area. Now her sweater was biting into that center line, creating an odd shadow around her breasts.
“What is that?”
I guess the day of reckoning had finally arrived. Azuki Azusa’s body was shaking, and she still tried to hide it.
“D-Don’t look! It’s not what you think it is! This is as different as a newt and a gecko!”
“Are they really that different? I don’t think I know the difference.”
“It’s a nail!”
When she said that, her voice reached a high-pitched shriek, and I finally understood what was going on. There was a fence around the edge of the skating rink, and a nail was sticking out from one of the boards. This small nail had become caught in Azuki Azusa’s sweater and was pulling on it.
If this were Tsukiko-chan from the Tsutsukakushi Family, not only would her sweater get caught on it, but she’d end up entirely stripped of all of her clothes, which would be an amazingly godlike illustration and everyone would be super happy! However, said aspiring prim and proper idol was nowhere to be found, so none of that happened.
To all the Ms. Earnest fans in the world, I tried my very best to provide such an illustration, but I was unable to earn the consent of the Media Factory Brand company. I will try my utmost to arrive at a common ground with them to provide further illustrations at a later time.
Azuki Azusa quickly removed the nail and fixed her sweater. Of course, that caused her to stagger a bit, so I accepted her body. Her head bumped into my chest, and our eyes met.
“……”
“……”
The world stopped breathing.
A bit of time passed.
“E-Ehehe…” Azuki Azusa made a flustered laugh.
I joined in, without knowing why. We exchanged glances, and Azuki Azusa tried to push her body away, but…
“Oh… Oh my…”
She failed at that, and her cheek rubbed against my chest. Well, that just happened to happen. Definitely not on purpose. It couldn’t be helped! Yeah, that! What am I talking about? I’m lost.
“That reminds me…” Azuki Azusa said.
“Hmm?”
“S-Since I’m calling Tsutsukakushi-san ‘Tsuu-chan’ now, I was wondering if I could call you… ‘Y-You-kun’ as well…”
“Y-You-kun!?”
“J-Just for a change of pace! Like a seasonal change of clothes! I was wondering… what I should call you, so…”
What are you talking about? Is that really something you should be saying now?
“You-kun, huh…”
“Y-You-kun.”
“You-kun, I see.
“You-kun!”
“You-kun.”
“You-kun~”
It pains me to say it, but after millions of years of language development, we went back to talking like neanderthals. Disregarding the world around us, we just stood in the corner of the skating rink, looking at each other, isolated from reality.
Flirting around like that…
“!?”
I might have been exhausted. From the corner of my eye, in the shadows of a pillar, I saw something like an image of a small kitty.
Even though you’re just a puppy, you…
I couldn’t quite hear the curses she was muttering in silence, nor did they reach my ears. Cats don’t talk, anyway. Humans can’t grow cat ears. I can’t think of anyone who would say things like that.
This might be out of the blue, but there is this famous phenomenon called the ‘Kanizsa Triangle’. It’s an optical illusion that happens when you draw black circles around an area. You start thinking it creates the shape of a triangle. This happens a lot, doesn’t it? The human eye often perceives optical illusions even if we don’t want to.
Just because I’m sensing a dark aura coming from the shadow of the pillar, I’m seeing an odd triangular shape there. It’s like a love triangle relationship. One which doesn’t actually exist in reality. I’m innocent, really. Save me, Tsukiko-chan.
“M-More importantly, Azuki Azusa!”
“W-What is it?!!”
“How about we do some skating now?”
“Y-Yeah, you’re right, Y-You-kun!”
“You-kun?”
“Y-You-kun.”
“You-kun…”
“You-kun!”
“You-kun?”
“Y-You-kun.”
We went back to the endless loop again.
“Um! I’m going to the bathroom really quick!”
“Ah, th-then me too!”
We both left the rink, and Azuki Azusa followed after me like a duckling. Near the entrance to the restrooms, we both smiled awkwardly. She put her hands on her bright-red cheeks in order to cool them down and disappeared into the girls bathroom.
I felt the black aura from behind the pillar following me, but that was nothing more than an illusion. That Kanizsa Phenomenon sure is giving me a lot of trouble today.
After I had cooled myself down, I left the restroom. While I was waiting for Azuki Azusa, I observed my surroundings. In doing so, I realized that we weren’t special at all. I could see couples here and there, hands on each others’ waists, their foreheads touching, a princess carry, children being born between them—
“…Wait, that’s impossible.”
When I looked closer, I saw small children running around between the couples. Some were crying and looking for their parents, others were ruining the mood for the couples. Before I could process what was going on, the number of parents and children gathering around had increased exponentially.
“Mama! Where are you?”
“We’re looking for the parents of a lost child…”
“Wataru! Koushi! Answer me!”
“He’s a small child who’s wearing black pants…”
“Waaaaah, Onee-chan is gone!”
“We are currently trying to bring everyone together…”
…My head hurts. This is hell. While I was gasping for air, I heard a commanding voice.
“Raise your head. A man shouldn’t cry just because he lost his parents.”
“Uuuu… But…”
“You will see them again. Just put up with it for a few minutes.”
Steel-san was talking to a young boy, who was probably still in kindergarten. She wiped his tears away and lifted him up. You can’t do that, Steel-san! Using living beings as throwing objects for track-and-field practice is absolutely not allowed!
“Can you see them?”
“…No, I can’t…”
“What about over there, then?” Steel-san lifted the boy higher and higher.
She was raising his point of view to see if he could spot his parents. Finally, a mother came running towards them, her face drenched in sweat. She bowed down to Steel-san again and again, but Steel-san just laughed it off.
“Don’t lose her again, okay? And you make sure you take good care of him.”
“…Yeah! Thanks, Onee-chan!”
Steel-san saw the boy off as he waved goodbye. There was no way I wouldn’t imagine anything after seeing her stern yet kind profile. She looked like a certain caretaker I knew. I felt my chest tighten, and I also felt the sudden urge to cry. After this one incident, many other lost children appeared and were reunited with their parents thanks to Steel-san. The last child was larger than the rest.
“…I lost them… too…”
“Hmm?”
“Please… lift me up…”
Wait, it’s the vice club president. What is she doing?
“I don’t really get it. Did you lose your club members?”
“Right. Can’t see them. Lift me up, please. Higher, stronger.”
“Stronger…?”
The face the vice club president made while being lifted up was one you shouldn’t make in public. Her face was distorted in pleasure, and drool was running down her cheek. She was using the kindness of Steel-san to fulfill her own desires. And people think I’m the perverted one here?
The last time she made that face was when she handed me her own socks. Seriously, I can’t even figure out what weird fetishes she has.
“Club prez~”
“Prez~ Do that for me too!”
“Club prez, me too!”
Other members of the track-and-field club started to gather around her. There was no longer anyone named the Steel King in the club. It’s just the reliable Steel-san. Even now after she’s retired, the hearts of the club members still belong to her.
“What’s going on over there?”
“A festival?”
“Club prez?”
They might think that this is some kind of weird event. The lost children, the ones who were just playing around normally, and even the club members were all making their way towards Steel-san. They grabbed her arms, climbed onto her shoulders, touched her illegally in all sorts of places, and soon created a Steel-san tower.
“Mm… H-Hey now…” Steel-san stood frozen, unable to move.
For some reason, this is pretty entertaining to watch. But there’s no guarantee that she will always be in the center. The reason I met Tsukiko-chan was because of the cat statue Steel-san made, and Steel-san set me and Azuki Azusa up on our first date. Even the problems with the Tsutsukakushi Family, which eventually led to Emi coming back, were because I gave Steel-san my memories. In other words, it might be fate that Steel-san is really important.
“Cough…”
Everyone was glued to Steel-san, and she suddenly started coughing. When I waved at her from afar, she blinked at me several times. Was this a request to save her, or just a wink to show me that she was enjoying herself? I had no idea.
Either way, since I was no longer a member of the track-and-field club, my duty was to watch her from afar and nothing more. Finally, after her face was buried in the mass of people—
“Cough!”
She let out a loud, worrisome cough, and collapsed like a mountain of salt. I thought she was just doing it as a joke, but that turned out to be a misjudgement on my part. She didn’t get up for a while, and we had to take a break for her sake.
I told Azuki Azusa about this.
“Wow! Skating is jungle wonderful!”
“Are you being influenced by Steel-san’s awful English skills?”
“They say that an ant can defeat an elephant in the tropical forest, but I guess this phenomenon also works in reality! I wish I could have seen it…” Azuki Azusa reacted in nothing but admiration.
No, that’s not what I was concerned about.
*
This being the case, said examinee’s day off ended abruptly. The person who had set up the plan to begin with was Steel-san, but her body couldn’t keep up.
“…I’m satisfied…”
That’s all she could say while coughing. Is she really satisfied, though? And in what way?
“…I got too excited, I’m sorry.” The vice president apologized and went off on her merry way with the other club members.
“I’m a bit worried, so let me take you home, Onee-san.” I offered.
“……”
Do whatever you please, was what her little sister I was currently having a fight with was probably trying to say. Since she didn’t tell me not to, I just did whatever I wanted. Oh yeah, ever since we met up at the skating rink, I hadn’t seen Tsukiko-chan at all. She must have been playing elsewhere. Maybe with the Kanizsa Triangle?
“We’ve arrived. Please, wake up, Nee-san.”
“…Mmmm…”
When we got off the bus, the groggy Steel-san was visiting the land of dreams more than the land of reality.
“Nee-san. Hey, Nee-san. Come on…” Tsutsukakushi pulled her along, but their difference in body stature made that impossible.
Tsukiko-chan is sixteen. She should probably give up on thoughts of a growth spurt by this point.
“…Grrr…”
“Good thing I came with you. Here, let me take her.”
“……”
Seeing no other option, I carried Steel-san all the way from the bus stop to her home. In the far horizon, I saw the sun starting to set. It colored the surroundings orange, even red at times, making the streets look blood red. This thought makes my feet feel heavy for some reason.
“…Mmm…” Steel-san showed no signs of waking up.
Is it really okay for an examinee like her to be out cold like this? Why was she so desperate to go skating anyway? That came out of nowhere if you ask me.
“…I really am lucky…” Steel-san muttered. “Playing with everyone, getting along with everyone, passing the entrance exams, having fun, watching my little sister grow up, and finding a husband…”
She seemed much weaker than the usual Steel-san as she leaned against me.
“And then I’ll live a long life until my death…” Her voice was so quiet it nearly disappeared, but her words rang in my ears.
She felt so light. I barely had to put any strength into my arms. It made me worry that she might grow wings and fly off somewhere.
“…Alright.” When I fixed her posture, Tsutsukakushi lined up next to me.
“………”
She must be curious about her Onee-san. When I looked over, our eyes met, and she glanced away. I looked forward again. This process repeated several times. It seems like this expressionless girl enjoys herself a good game of ‘Look over here’. With the ponytail girl at my back and the cat-tail-hair girl at my side, we walked down the street. It’s been a while since I’ve felt such a comfortable silence.
The light hitting my eyes was so dazzling that I felt tears building up in my eyes, so I had to rub them several times.
*
When we arrived at the entrance to the Tsutsukakushi residence, Tsukiko-chan came to a sudden halt. She tilted her head slightly and gazed at the darkness inside.
“Aren’t you going in?”
“No, I just thought I heard a weird sound…”
Her ears were twitching, and she seemed slightly terrified. Since she gave me a serious response this time, I could tell that she was just as serious. She slowly entered inside, and I followed suit. Right when she turned around the corner, Tsutsukakushi caught her breath.
“Why—?”
“What’s wrong?”
I peeked around the corner myself, and was immediately baffled. I could see the door to Tsukiko-chan’s room, which was open, and the lights were turned on. Shirts, documents, pillows, papers, zombie movie DVDs, bags, the computer, bath towels, drawers, the black cat plush toy, savings, all of these objects looked like they had been thrown around wildly, with no care shown for them at all.
*
“It’s rare to have burglars in an area like this.”
We finished checking the entire house along with the police we called, and the single police officer left behind at the end muttered these words.
“There’s countless potential criminals around nowadays. For now, we’ll look into it as much as we can. I can’t promise anything, but leave it to us.” He was a middle-aged man with a well-built physique.
After he goes home for the day, he’ll be a husband, a likable Papa, and will then spend the rest of his day in peace. Nobody could be blamed here. Even if he’s not as dutiful towards his work as he could be, that doesn’t lower his value as a person.
“………” I removed my gaze from him.
Also, and this doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but whenever I see an actual police officer, my heart just starts racing. Is this love? I wonder. If I had to give them a hint for the investigation, then I’d say that the criminal is still on the scene. Hurry up and interrogate the suspicious-looking highschool boy in front of you!
“…Nothing was stolen, it seems.” Tsutsukakushi muttered as she checked the room carefully.
The middle-aged police officer awkwardly scratched his head.
“Maybe you’re just frightened. Take your time and look through everything.”
“But nothing is gone…” Tsutsukakushi spoke indifferently.
She didn’t sound like she was in a panicked state, nor was she being stubborn. If anything, she sounded more like she was perplexed. Oddly enough, there were no signs of the criminal entering either Steel-san’s room or the banquet hall. Only Tsukiko-chan’s room had been the target of damage.
The criminal has to be a perverted lolicon who wants to feel close to Tsutsukakushi. I cannot forgive him. There’s only one thing I can do here… Also, I am so very glad that I have an alibi.
“The checkbook, the wallet, the clothes… everything is still here. I don’t understand the motive.” Tsutsukakushi was as emotionless as ever.
However, her slender shoulders were shaking. They looked like they were made out of glass. When I put my palm on her shoulder, he put hers on mine. We held hands and felt each other’s warmth.
After the police officer went home, we once again searched through the entire house, trying to see if something was stolen. I say ‘we,’ but it was mainly just Tsutsukakushi and I. Steel-san was sleeping in her room. She must be really exhausted, because normally she’d search an area of at least 30 kilometers to try to find the infidel who dared scare her precious little sister. I’m sure she’ll recover by tomorrow.
Tsukiko-chan was looking through the banquet hall, and I was responsible for the storehouse. I made my way across the pathway connecting the main residence and the storehouse, and there the jet-black giant wall greeted me. I opened the door to the storehouse that looked like it didn’t belong to this time period, and a thick smell tickled my nose. No matter how much you clean this place, the dust is never gone.
The gigantic cat statue standing in front of the wall emitted immense pressure. I glared at its face as I entered this world where everything began. The silence rang inside my ears. Suddenly I felt someone’s presence. An outline in the darkness. Someone else’s breath, and faint footsteps.
“—Who!?”
Just when I screamed, a dull impact hit my head.
*
When I came back to my senses, I realized I was tied up in hemp rope. It seems like I’ve been tied to a pillar. My head felt incredibly heavy. An intoxicated sensation dwelled at the pit of my stomach. But Yokodera-kun won’t panic. It seems like I gained a lot of practical value from trying out self-bondage roleplays. These ropes are way too loose! A girl won’t feel good if you tie her up this gently!
Finally, my eyes got used to the darkness.
“You seem to have chosen quite a rough method, haven’t you?” I asked.
I saw a black shadow near a few clothes hampers further back. That shadow giggled to itself.
“Aren’t you quite calm about this, Yokodera-kun?” A dandy baritone voice spoke, and the lights in the room turned on.
A familiar face appeared beneath the bright light. It had facial features that are easily forgotten, which reminded me of a Noppera-bou. If I were to describe it with colors, the entire canvas would be black, unable to convey its original appearance. It’s Emi’s Papa.
“…No, wait…”
The Noppera-Bou made a faint smile. Emi’s Papa wouldn’t make such an expression. The way it smiles is wrong. I heard a feeble, ominous, and sickening-sounding laugh. I know of only one person—No, one god—who would laugh like that. Instinctively, I looked over at the wall. The giant cat statue that should have been there had vanished.
“Indeed. It is I, Yokodera-kun.”
“Cat God…”
“I’m surprised you could tell. I guess even someone like you with the intellect of an empty bucket could figure out my greatness. It’s been a while. Have you been in good health?”
The Cat God inside Emi’s stony Papa raised both of its hands.
The inside of the closed storehouse was dark, except the small round circle of light. Could this light reach the main house, I wonder? How long until Tsutsukakushi realizes I’m missing? I regret not telling her that I would be checking this place out. The Tsutsukakushi residence is large, so she might be led to think I just went home.
I raised my chin and looked at the Noppera-Bou with the Cat God inside.
“Oh my, Yokodera-kun, has a cat stolen your tongue? Normally you’d keep blabbering on and on.”
“………”
“Maybe you’ve been taken by surprise. There’s no need to be embarrassed. It’s been decided since ancient times that humans are simply playthings in the hands of us gods. Now how long do you think I’ve been renting this body? From just a short while ago? Since the first shrine visit? Or even since back at the ancient temple? You don’t know, do you?” I looked down, and the Cat-God-in-Noppera-Bou made a thoroughly satisfied smile.
Before the marathon, I had been influenced by Emi’s Papa, and had gained this black shadow. That was the incident that caused me to be careful of him most of all. Was the Cat God already inside him back then? I can’t tell. I have no idea. But to be perfectly honest… It really doesn’t matter at all.
Sorry that you have the wrong idea about this, but I don’t care too much about Cat God-kun. I really don’t like you as much as you think.
I pretended to be a girl in my head, mentally ridiculing the Cat God. But, more importantly, when you compare this to the times when the Cat God controlled Azuki Azusa or Emi, that Cat Bastard is ridiculing me much more than usual. It feels like I’m being verbally abused, but just barely not enough to turn me on. If anything, I feel like Cat God-chan is spoiling me, forgiving me no matter what I do.
“Fufufu, are you scared?”
“……”
“I can’t blame you. I am above you. How’s the scent of the hemp rope?” The Cat God slowly walked towards me, touching my forehead, hair, and cheeks.
It actually thinks that it can’t touch me, huh? What a Big Mouth-chan I’m dealing with.
“This is the attack of the Cat God-sama. Fufu… Hehehe.” He continued aggressively touching me everywhere.
Ah, I’m so… not scared. Does that Cat God have a death wish? Touching me without permission is forbidden by the Girl’s Alliance contract. Do you not care what happens to that hand of yours, dear?
“At this rate, I might simply torture you to death. That would leave you with all sorts of regrets. Why don’t I give you an answer to a single question of your choosing, then? Hmm? Why did I decide to possess him? He’s quite beneficial for me. Our goals might even align to a certain degree. Though I doubt such a goal would really be easily understood by someone like you. Would you like to hear it? Well, if you’re that adamant about it, I wouldn’t mind revealing it to you. I’m not a demon, after all. Still, what should I do with you…?”
Cat God-chan kept blabbering on and on, acting all proud and confident. I, on the other hand, was really just spacing out. I decided not to listen. After all, that thing’s hobby is to talk on and on and on. It makes sense, of course, since it doesn’t have any friends at all. How long has it been since it was able to touch another person?
“Now, Yokodera-kun, how about you beg for me to tell you? Hm? Would you rather lick my shoe instead?”
“I mean, there is one thing I am curious about.”
“…What did you say?”
“Was it that guy who looked through Tsutsukakushi’s room? Or did you do it with him?”
“Who cares about all that?” The Cat God sighed, finally ceasing its endless torrent of words. “Just listen to what I’m saying.”
“There’s nothing worth listening to.”
“Even if it involves the eldest daughter of the Tsutsukakushi House?”
“………”
For the first time, I stayed silent, waiting to hear what the Cat God would say next. With calm eyes, the Cat God looked at me.
“That girl will die soon.”
These words were spoken with sadness, regret, and yet joy at the same time.
“Not because of illness, not because of an injury, but because of a chronic disease that can’t be cured by modern medicine. Those who belong to the Cat God bloodline all share the same fate.”
“…What are you talking about?”
“Oh? You don’t seem to be too shocked, Yokodera-kun. Did you already have your own predictions about Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi’s death?”
“Can you stop forcing your own thoughts onto me!? I’m getting tired of this absurdity! There’s no way in hell I would believe you!”
“What an interesting expression you use.” The Cat God grinned. “Believe it or not, you should already know. Don’t act like you’ve forgotten the sudden outbreak of her predecessor’s illness.”
“……”
For a second, strength built up in my fist. My first love, the nursery school teacher, came back to mind.
“Tsukasa-san…”
“That’s right. Not to mention that it’s progressed much faster than with her predecessor. Now that symptoms of the illness have appeared, it’ll only grow worse with time. Soon, she’ll be unable to live a normal life, and she’ll suffer and fall into despair… Don’t make such a terrified expression now. Did you picture it, by any chance?”
“………”
“That’s why I’ve come to you with a simple proposal.” Like an actor on a stage, the Cat God offered me a hand. “Offer your own life. It’s simple, right? The cat up on the hill with the cedar tree. Just pray to it.”
“………”
“For example… ‘Yokodera Youto will offer his remaining lifespan’. And voila! Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi will be granted a prosperous life. She might even be able to live that long life she longs for so much.”
This Cat God’s idea was one that toyed with human life.
“That’s right. Don’t struggle. Why do you think I restrained you like this? Every single time we talk, you end up flying into a rage and start assaulting me or humiliating me.”
When I put strength into my arms, the rope was undone fairly easily. As I had suspected, it was the work of an amateur. If you just tie up the arms randomly, you’ll create a vacuum around the stomach. You should do it like the pros and tie the arms in the same line as the hips. The Cat God would have been better off reading some books to study up.
“How are you feeling? Frustrated? Agitated? But Yokodera-kun, this is a necessary stage for the two of us to talk calmly—”
“Up we go.”
“Eeeek!?”
I removed the rope and stood up. The Cat God staggered backwards.
“W-Why!? W-Wait! Your eyes! Your hands! What are you trying to do!?”
“Don’t feign ignorance now. We’ve done it many times already!”
“W-Wait right there! Why are you mimicking my voice!? Wait! Why do you think I’m possessing him!? I was a bit scared when I was a girl before, but now circumstances are different!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Calm down! I’m a man right now!”
“As long as there’s love, I don’t care if it’s man or woman!”
“You should care! And there is definitely no love! Love is not here! Not here is love!”
“Which is it? Whatever. Close your mouth, and close your eyes while you’re at it.”
“Ah, no, don’t… Stooooooop!”
To be honest, I don’t want to do this either. Could you just stay as a girl next time? I don’t want to improve my technique with a man’s body.
*
“So, let me ask you again.”
“…Yesh…”
“Were you waiting for us to visit the skating rink to search through Tsutsukakushi’s room?”
“That ish correct…”
“Is the criminal Emi’s Papa? Or did you do it while in his body?”
“You’re wrong… we’re unrelated…”
“Are you playing dumb again?”
“I-It’s the trush…”
The twitching body of the Cat God lay on the floor of the storehouse, all light having long vanished from its eyes. Seriously? If it’s not Emi’s Papa nor the Cat God who rummaged through Tsutsukakushi’s room, then who was it?
“…Aren’t you forgetting about another person? The hooded man was quite suspicious as well, wasn’t he?”
“…Hmm? Why would that guy search through Tsutsukakuhi’s room?”
“I don’t know that… but…”
You’d better tell me something worthwhile, or round two will begin. Don’t underestimate the endless desires of a healthy high school boy.
“Stop looking at me like that… I’m not hiding anything…” The Cat God started weeping, so I decided to let it go for today.
See? I’m a true gentleman. I put a blanket over the male body.
“I’m always only able to speak the truth… Why do I have to go through something like this…?” The Cat God held its head, crying.
I sat next to him, letting out a sigh like I had just finished smoking a cigarette. I was acting kind, and yet he had gotten the wrong idea.
“Ah, that’s right. Is what you said about Steel-san true?”
A short silence passed.
“…It’s the truth.” A faint mutter came back. “I exist solely for the sake of the Tsutsukakushi Family, so I tried to do something about it… But I’ll think of another method.” The Cat God slowly stood up.
Why do you think we’re done? I’m not letting you go that easily.
“Wait a second.”
“Eeek!?”
When I grabbed the Cat God’s hand, it let out a shriek and started shaking like a young lamb that had just been born.
“T-There’s more…?” Cat God-chan glanced up at me.
What are you on about, hmm? I don’t mind seeing that sort of gesture from a cute girl, but having the Cat God do that in the body of Emi’s Papa is just plain disgusting.
“It’s about what we just talked about. I never said I wasn’t going to pray.”
“Huh?” The teary-eyed Cat God looked up at me.
*
After leaving the back entrance, I looked around me to check if anyone was around. It wasn’t that I was trying to avoid them. I just happened to not run into anyone, so that couldn’t be helped. At the back of the Tsutsukakushi’s property was a private road that led into a large unused area. I passed through the metal fence and entered the grassy plains.
“…Achoo!” A sneeze made my body quiver.
It’s always cold during winter around this hill. With nothing nearby to shield me from it, the cold breeze hit me directly.
“I guess mountain climbing is much better in the summer…”
The last time I made my way up here was during the summer, and it was much more comfortable than now. That summer, I went up here with my bike, walked through the summer grass—and met Tsutsukakushi. The Tsukiko-chan who could still smile. I remembered how she got the wrong idea about Barbara-san. The following day, we rode on my bike together. We fought in the kitchen. Met up on the rooftop during summer break.
When I closed my eyes, all sorts of memories came back to mind. Maybe it was because we had written everything in the Yokodera Dairy. I was much more pleasant to be around back then, I think. I liked myself much more. Thinking about that, we had come a long way.
“—They say that people relive their past memories right before their death.” The Cat God next to me said with a deep voice. “Are you the same, Yokodera-kun?”
“Not really.” I shrugged.
The action of praying, and what causes it to work, is still a mystery to me. How could I really be nostalgic when I don’t know what’s going to happen? The Cat God keeps talking about my remaining lifespan, but it’ll work out, I guess.
These feelings of mine were light, and even if things don’t work out the first time, there’s always something else that can be done. Yeah, I’m totally not nervous.
“You seem pretty relaxed about this…” The Cat God narrowed its eyes. “With all kindness and consideration, shouldn’t you be thinking this through a bit more? You made the choice immediately. But this isn’t your problem alone, is it?”
“Where did that come from? You brought up the idea yourself. Are you worried about me?”
“I-I’m not worried! I just can’t accept your stupidity, and how you immediately accepted—Eeek!”
For now, I shut the Cat God up with a kiss. Is Cat God-chan a tsundere, by any chance? Isn’t it a bit late to add a heroine now?
“…It’s not really something to talk about with other people.”
This is my own personal problem. No matter what anybody says.
“If you’re that hung up on it, why don’t you explain it to them after everything is over?”
“What do you think will happen, anyway?”
“No clue.”
I couldn’t think of anything. Nor did I try to come up with a possible conclusion. I only think about myself. The girl will think about herself. To be honest, I should have drawn the line back at the marathon.
“What an extraordinary relaxed boy you are…” The Cat God gave me a resentful gaze. “—Eek!?”
I held both its hands, giving it another kiss. Cat God-chan, why are you possessing a man right now? I don’t want to see an illustration of this.
“Good grief…” I looked up at the sky, but all I could see was darkness in the distance.
The moon, which had been radiating in the night sky, was now hidden behind the clouds, and the winter flowers also hid in the darkness. Nobody was watching me, nobody was protecting me. Instead, only the flashlight created a bit of light for me as we walked down the dark path.
I closed my mouth, and just walked silently down the path heading up towards the stars. Finally, the cedar tree showed itself. Beneath it sat the wooden stony cat statue. It showed no kindness, no harshness, but merely reality as a whole.
Well, it can’t be helped. It’s been like this ever since I lost my beloved Tsukasa-san. If I have jewels with me that could I pass on to someone else, then I will do so, because this makes me feel alive. That is the type of person Yokodera Youto is.
I’m sorry.
1 refers to the Japanese belief that mystical powers dwell in words and names
2 The Japanese macaque, historically known as saru (“monkey”), but now known as Nihonzaru (Nihon “Japan” + saru) to distinguish it from other primates, is a terrestrial Old World monkey species native to Japan.
CClaw Translations 