Asahina Wakaba to Marumaru na Kareshi Volume 2 Chapter 6

If you like our work, please follow us on our social media, join our discord and consider supporting us on Patreon:

https://discord.gg/e4BJxX6 
https://www.patreon.com/CClawTrans

Note: As you might have guessed, the chapter numbers don’t start from 1, but they keep going across volumes, so this is chapter one of volume two, but chapter 6 overall.

Asahina Wakaba and—

1

A sharp noise rang inside my ears. My head felt dizzy, and my body shook left and right. My consciousness grew hazy. My hands, my fingers, none of them moved. I was stuck on the ground. The moment I heard these words from him, it felt like my entire body turned to stone.

…A weird noise filled my ears. Ha, ha, ha. It sounded like the huffing of a dog. It made me think of Haruka-chan’s friend Ren-chan. Shut up, you’re annoying. I don’t have time for that. But, the more I complained, the more aggressive it got. It continued until my entire body thumped like a giant heart. I can’t breathe.

—What did he just say?

Standing in front of me is Bizen Ryouichi-kun. He is a good friend of my beloved boyfriend, Iruma Haruto. He might seem a bit aggressive at times, but he’s a good person, and fairly close to Haruto. He even treated me nicely—so why…?

“Keeping quiet now? You didn’t hear me? I’ll ask you as many times as it takes. Until you confess, I won’t stop.” Bizen-kun’s eyes were as sharp as a wild animal’s.

I know that color of his eyes. When the crowd was making fun of Haruto, he roared at them, and shooed all of them away. His eyes made it look like he was ready to kill, and he had the same gaze right now, directed at me.

“Hey, Asahina. It’s nothing too crazy. You like quizzes, right? So, give me an answer. If you keep it quick, I will do the same. All I want—”

“Ah, eh…? Eh…?”

“—is to know about that game you all are doing.”

The moment I heard these words, the blood in my entire body froze up. Stop. Don’t say that. Don’t say that word!

“How…why…how did you…”

“Oh? So you heard of that at least. That makes things simple. I’ll head up to the roof, and wait there for you, so—” Bizen-kun tapped his hand on my shoulder.

It was a nonchalant gesture, something friends would do. But, it made the deepest parts of my heart shake. After all, the smile on Bizen-kun’s face was scarier than anything I have ever seen.

“—Don’t you dare run away, alright?”

I could only nod, and watch Bizen-kun walk off. The second I lost sight of him, my knees gave in, and I sacked to the floor. The cold sensation of the floor assaulted me, and I embraced my body to warm myself up.

Now, it’s lunch break. There’s a few people walking down the hallway, giving me suspicious gazes. I think someone even offered to escort me to the infirmary, but…I just ran away in a daze. I don’t care about them! I don’t care about anything! There’s only one thing that matters right now!

My teeth were shaking, creating a rattling noise, as a groan escaped my mouth. Bizen-kun’s words repeated inside my head, again and again. I feel sick, I’m about to puke—

—How could I forget something important like that?

I remember everything. I remember the reason why I started dating Haruto, and why I confessed to him. No, that’s not it. I knew this entire time, I just decided not to look. Deep inside of me, I was telling myself lies. But, I didn’t want this fake reality to break apart. These days I spent, I was living in bliss. I didn’t want to lose anything I had.

My field of view grew darker. My happy days, my future, I heard the sound of all of that’s important to me breaking apart. I’m an idiot. Why did I ever think I deserved this. I acted like an actual girlfriend. Why did I enjoy myself like that? I didn’t deserve this. I lied to him.

—I deceived my beloved Haruto!

2

One step, and another step…I slowly walked up the stairs. Every time I made it one step, my heart tightened up. I don’t want to go there. But, I have to. Why did things end up like this? I know, I’m the one at fault. It’s all because of me. But, just regretting it won’t do anything.

—Because everything is too late already.

I frantically stopped my heart from breaking apart, and moved up, when I could finally see the top of the stairs, and a snow white door blocking off the roof. I felt my body quiver. It felt like I was walking towards my own execution. I can’t escape no longer. I will receive the punishment for my sins, right here, right now.

I put my hand on the doorknob, slowly turning it. Creaaaaaaak, the door opened, and a cold breeze hit me, making my body shake even further. This rooftop is actually the coldest place inside this entire school. Even if it’s lunch break, during such a season, no student was there besides me—and him.

“Bizen…kun…”

He had his back towards me, standing on the edge of the rooftop. Only the fence stood between him and the nothingness below, as he gazed into the far distance…What should I do, I can’t call out to him. But, just when I was worried and confused, Bizen-kun moved first, and turned around towards me.

“So you came.”

—Scary. Just hearing his voice, fear filled my body. What is Bizen-kun going to do now? I don’t know. But, what scared me even more is a certain possibility. Namely, the event that Bizen-kun already knew everything about the game—and told Haruto about it! About the fact that our relationship is nothing but fake and lies. Just thinking about that, I felt so scared, I wanted to run away and never come back.

“Sorry to call you up here during this cold season. I figured that we wouldn’t have to worry about any people overhearing us.”

“Um, ehm…”

What should I say now? I had planned to think about it on my way here, but my head was empty this entire time, and it still is.

“We don’t have too much time during this lunch break, right. So, let me be straight with you. I want to know about only one thing. In short, this game your class is doing.” He spoke with an indifferent tone, no expression on his face.

That only made it more terrifying.

“I heard that this game consists of luring in the target with a fake confession, only to reveal everything and destroy their pride. Is that true?”

W-Where did he hear that from? How does he know that much…But, of course, I wasn’t given any time to ask.

“A-Auu…”

I can’t hide it any longer. I felt stiff and uncomfortable like a robot, nodding.

“…I see. Then, this is where it gets important. If I’m wrong, I don’t mind prostrating myself on the floor right now.” Bizen-kun announced, and took a deep breath. “—Are you participating in that game?”

—He asked me the question I never wanted to hear.

“!”

I wanted to say that he’s wrong. But, I remember everything. I continued to deceive him, deceive Haruto, deceive my beloved one. That’s why, I—

“Ye…s…” I can’t talk myself out of this.

“Oh…no…” Bizen-kun’s eyes opened wide, and grabbed his head in despair. “Answer me. Why did you do that!”

There’s no meaning to hide anything any longer. My voice was shaking, but I tried my best to tell him of everything: About how I was bullied ever since I started attending this school, how I broke the powder case of a classmate, and how I was pushed into this game. Because of that, I was forced to deceive everyone—to deceive him.

Bizen-kun listened to me. His expression softened a bit, as he let out a groan. However, his mouth did not relax at all. When I finished my story, he let out a sigh.

“I see. That’s why you started dating Haruto.”

“Yes…”

For a moment, it looked like he was frozen in time. However, he silently formed a fist.

“…Don’t joke with me.” His face turned into a demon’s. “Don’t fucking wrap up Haruto in your stupid game!”

He’s right. I can’t say anything against that. All I could do was listen in silence. But, he stopped talking after that himself. How long did this silence go on for? Eventually, Bizen-kun broke the silence, as he let out a sigh. This time, it just seemed like he was exhausted. The color of anger vanished from his expression as well.

“Sorry for screaming like that. I understand your circumstances.”

—Ah. What? I didn’t expect to hear that. But, even if that’s the case, Bizen-kun won’t forgive me just like that. I knew that best. His anger towards me didn’t vanish, he just swallowed it. I could tell from his words.

“I heard about this game from that weird Shouji girl. After threatening her for a bit, she told me everything.”

Eh, from Shouji-san!? He met her!?

“At first, I didn’t want to believe it. I thought she was just spitting out lies. If I didn’t hear the rumour from Date, I would not have lent her an ear.”

“Rumour…From Date-kun?”

“Yeah, those brothers, especially the older one, have some odd information network built up, not even stopping at their own student year. From them, I heard all sorts of things.”

I know about that. The Date-kun brothers have their tablets and laptops with them all day every day, gathering information and whatnot. They even have multiple social network accounts, creating graphs and files and so on. From them, I heard more about Haruto as well.

“There, I heard that your class has this ongoing game, with a certain student as the target. When I looked into it, the plan was to make a laughing stock of the most hated person here in this school.”

Ahh, I see. Now that he mentioned it, it made sense. This school isn’t all too big, and the girls in my class love gossip and talking about other people. It’s gotten to a level where I can’t tell the truth from lies anymore when it comes to them. Naturally, that means that this talk would spread, which led to the Date-kun brothers picking up on this rumour. Why did I never realize something so simple?

“The only reason for Date to even look into that was at a request of Kujou. You know her, right? Kujou Kanami.”

Of course I knew her. She is one of the students of class 1 that welcomed me with open arms, always wearing her hair in a ponytail.

“Apparently, she’s got some friends in your class. She came to the two Date brothers because that person was acting weird. The childhood friend of those brothers, and Kujou’s friend are in the same class. Hence, Date was worried, and thought about it. That’s where he remembered the rumour of that game.

“Is…that so…”

So Date-kun’s childhood friend was in my class. I don’t know who it is, but that probably paved the way for everything. For a moment, I really didn’t care at all.

“When I heard about that, I never would have imagined that you were involved in this. But, just now during recess, I happened to pass by the backside of the school building, and heard the voice of that…Nanase whatever girl.”

Bizen-kun mentioned he had good ears as well.

“After listening in on them, I cornered that Shouji girl when she was alone, and had her spit out the details of the game.”

…So that’s what happened. But, to leak everything just like that isn’t very much like them. Why would they talk about that in a place someone could hear them?

“She told me that you were the mastermind behind that plan. As proof of that, I apparently should look at your attitude towards Haruto. Namely, because you were enjoying yourself that much.”

“No, that’s not the case! I beg you, believe me—”

“Well, I wouldn’t put all my faith into the words of a girl I don’t know anyway. I mean, Haruto is probably on the lower end of the popularity scale, so you, a clearly good girl, confessing to him was just too abrupt. Thinking about it, the attitude of class 4 back then was weird overall.”

While he was talking, he must have remembered the scene back then. I realized that his tone of voice, and expression grew agitated again.

“Tch! If Shun had been there, he would have caught on to it earlier!” Bizen-kun kicked his foot against the metal fence.

A dull sound rang out, as my body shook in fear. Every single word of his stabbed right into my chest. It felt like I was sitting on needles. But, the best I could do was hold back my shaking.

“Well, I figure that you are probably telling the truth. I think I should be able to get that. After all, your attitude towards Haruto resembled mine when I met him.”

“…Eh?”

What does he mean by that? I felt happy that he believed me, but my confusion was even greater. And, even if he were to believe my words, what would that change?

“The fact that you deceived him doesn’t change.”

That’s right. I deceived Haruto, the person I love the most. This fact won’t disappear. He’s kind, reliable, and always listens to me, no matter how selfish I may be. If this Haruto were to hear about the game from Bizen-kun…I don’t even want to think about it.

“U-Um! About this—”

Before I realized it, I already spoke up.

“As if I could tell him!”

“Eeek!”

“He really likes you, you know that!?” The anger apparently got the better of him, as Bizen-kun roared. “Everytime a date with you ended, everytime he finished eating lunch with you, he kept talking on and on about how great you are! I got tired of it! He even said you might be able to help him grant his one wish, whatever that may be! You never saw him like that, did you!?”

It’s as average of a dream as it can be, but I was too embarrassed to be called a mother baby, so I never told anybody.

“Ah…ahhh…!”

The bashful smile of Haruto as he told me these words popped up in the back of my head.

“…Sorry. I just can’t keep calm about this. Even though you’re a victim yourself.”

“N-No, don’t say that…!”

You’re wrong, I’m a part of this. I heard Haruto’s wonderful dream, and yet I continued to deceive him, I’m the worst of all. I can’t say I’m different from Nanase-san and the others.

“Either way, now that I know the truth, I have to bring an end to this rotten game.” These words sent a shiver down my spine.

“W-What are you going to do…?”

“You really ask that? Isn’t it obvious?” Bizen-kun laughed. “All of these bastards that are behind this, I’ll show them hell. And maybe then, they’ll repent on their disgusting way of thinking!”

“—Eek!”

He’s serious. If it’s for Haruto’s sake, he would use whatever method needed, no matter how cruel.

“Well, Yui might cry about it, but I don’t give two shits if I get kicked out of this school. It pains me to bother the folks from the football club, but I’ll just retire from there before that. Luckily, I’m only a first-year, so they’ll find something in my stead.” Bizen-kun put his hand on the fence, and looked far into the distance. “I guess it’s just time for me to repay my guilt. Because of my old man, gramps, and uncle, the fate of that guy’s family went down the drain. Once this is over, I’ll go back to my main family, and succeed in the family business. If she feels like it, then Mifuyu—his little sister—will be freed as well. My relatives will never bother them any longer. I was never meant to be next to him, unlike Shun.”

A metallic sound rang out, as the fence shook.

“I got to enjoy my student life with him, albeit not for too long, so I’m satisfied.”

“N-No, you can’t! If you did something like that…!”

My senses told me to stop Bizen-kun at any costs.

“Hm? Ah, no worries. I won’t bother you any longer. Neither am I going to say anything. All I want is for you to stay with him.”

“That’s not what—Eh?”

“It’s simple, right? If you keep acting like the idiotic couple, and talk with him, I won’t do anything.”

Eh, eh? What does he mean…

“However…that’s only the case as long as you keep quiet about this lie, and stay together with him as you did so far.”

“—!”

I…I can’t do that! Not possible! With the guilt I feel towards Haruto, and the hate towards myself, how could I laugh in front of him! That would just worry Haruto even more. But, I can’t tell him the reason either. That’s why I continued lying to him. I won’t be forgiven for this. This is my punishment, and the most effective kind—

“Don’t give me that look just because I was joking around. You won’t be able to do that, right? Of course you won’t.”

“A-Ah, ugh…”

“That’s why…don’t ever get close to us, and to him all the same. That is for your sake as well. Of course, only once the game ends. Because this is my own punishment game for you.”

I was wrong again. It’s the same as back then during the confession. Nothing changed. All I can do is live with my choices, and regret them. It’s too late for me. I can only bring trouble to Haruto.

“That’s all from me. Just to let you know, don’t even think of stopping me. I won’t kill them, or hospitalize them. I’ll just make sure that they won’t be coming back to school any longer.” Bizen-kun removed his hand from the fence, heading towards me. “Just try telling anybody about this. I won’t hold back, not even against you, and I won’t ever let you meet Haruto again. Just to let you know, I hate liars.” He spoke with no hesitation in his words, like he had already decided on this.

—Who is this? I don’t know this person. He’s different from the Bizen-kun who was always with haruto. Is Haruto this important to him? Probably, yeah. I was wrong, as always.

“I’ll be leaving now, but don’t you forget, okay? You have to carry the guilt for the crimes you’ve committed.”

He left only these words behind, as he stepped away from the rooftop. I had no words to stop him. All I could do was watch him off.

“Ah…”

Just what…what did I do!? I deceived Haruto, and robbed him of his dream. At this rate, even Bizen-kun, Haruto’s precious friend, will leave him alone as well! But, I can’t even tell him! I can’t reveal the truth. If I do tell him, it’s over. Bizen-kun will never forgive me.

I don’t care what happens to me. This is the karma for the crimes that I have committed. But, I can’t stand Haruto being hurt because of me.

“…Wrong.”

It’s not that. Rather than hurting someone else, I’m scared of being hurt myself. After all, I don’t want to be hated by Haruto. Just thinking that I would never get to see his smile again, I was already on the verge of breaking down. I wanted to scream. If I could be together with Haruto, I…I—

“Aha, ahahahahaha! What an unsightly woman I am!”

Unlike him, who is shining like the sun in the sky, I’m just like a rainy cloud! Ahaha, ahaha…hahaha…

“—Ahaha…haha…it’s all over now. Everything is over.”

I had to accept this reality I wanted to avoid at any costs. At least, I wanted to end things on a positive note with him, but…

“I’m sorry, Haruto…I’m sorry…! I never thought it would end up like this…!”

I continued to sob, facing the ashen-grey wall, with nobody around to hear me. I wasn’t even allowed to feel sad, and yet I couldn’t hold back the tears. I really was selfish. And yet, I couldn’t stop these words. My face was a mess of tears and snot, as I reached for the doorknob. I couldn’t stay here forever.

“I’m sorry, Haruto…”

With these final words, I left the rooftop behind me. At the same time, I heard the sound of my dream, my own happiness breaking apart.

“…That’s a lie.” The boy muttered, baffled.

He was forced to observe the scenery in front of him, the words exchanged, and her reaction.

I was bullied ever since I started attending this school.

Caused by a flash of curiosity, he had followed his friend up to the rooftop, wondering what he was doing outside during this cold weather. He hid in the shadows, watching in silence.

I broke their powder case, and I was forced to participate in this game as punishment.

Soon after, she…Asahina Wakaba appeared, and then—

They told me to date the most hated person in this school—Iruma Haruto-kun.

“That’s a lie!” He didn’t wipe away his tears.

Instead, the boy—Iruma Haruto, slammed his fist against the wall.

2

My head feels heavy. I can’t see anything ahead of me. My fingertips were numb, and just moving my feet took everything from me. If I relaxed for only a second, I would fall over right away. And yet, my body felt light. Am I even walking still? It feels like I’m inside a dream.

In a daze, I walked down the stairs. I was only waiting for my body to give in, which would lead me to fall down. Bizen-kun’s words repeated inside my head, over and over and over and over. I deceived Haruto…I betrayed his kind feelings. Bizen-kun told me to stay with Haruto until the game would end, but can I really do that now? I don’t have any confidence.

“You’re lacking some energy lately. Tell me, what’s wrong?”

“U-Um…it’s nothing.”

I heard two familiar voices, coming from the hallway. My heart started beating faster. It’s like my head is lacking fresh air. When I peeked down the floor, I found two female students, talking to each other…I think…that’s Kujou Kanami-san…and Yajima Ruri-san?

“I wonder about that. You’ve been acting weird for a while now.” The trademark ponytail of Kujou-san shook left and right, as she tilted her head in confusion.

“Y-You worry too much, Kanami-chan! I’m totally fine, see, see!” Yajima-san waved her hands about, but even I could tell that she was forcing herself.

Just what happened to her?

“Well, if you say so! Anyway, how does a trip sound during next school break? Dad bought a digital camera, a really expensive one! Let’s go take all sorts of pictures!”

Was Kujou-san always this energetic? When I saw her in Haruto’s class, she was much more calm and rational, wasn’t she? Maybe they’ve been friends for a long time now?

“O-Okay, sounds cool—Ah, eh?”

Oh no, I must have leaned forward too much. Yajima-san spotted me.

“H-Hello…”

Seeing no other option, I walked towards the two. In doing so, Kujou-san waved her hand at me.

“Oh, Asahina! What brings you here?”

“K-Kanami-chan!? You know her?” Yajima-san showed bewilderment.

“Yup, she’s Iruma’s girlfriend. We often meet during lunch break, so we’re already like good friends! You don’t like talking about him, so I never told you, right?” Kujou-san raised her thumb.

—Iruma’s girlfriend…these words I would have been delighted about now stabbed me right in my chest.

“Asahina-san, what’s wrong?”

“N-No, it’s nothing…”

“Did you have a fight with that moron? You didn’t come visit our class today, right.”

—Not good, she’s doubting me.

In a panic, I averted my eyes. Of course, that gesture seemed odd, as I could see Kujou-san narrow her eyes.

“Oh yeah, I saw Bizen coming down the stairs as well. And, he seemed weird for some reason…”

Ugh…Just by hearing that name, I felt my back tense up. He must have been angry to a level where he didn’t look normal even to Kujou-san…Ah, what should I do about this? Who can I talk to?

“Bizen-kun is pretty close with Iruma-kun, right…?” Yajima-san asked, slightly suspicious.

“Yup yup, he’s one person from the Special Trio. Just now, I feel like I heard him mumble about someone something Nana…Nanasasisuseso something like that.”

“Nana…Wait, Nanase-san!?”

For some reason, Yajima-san showed a baffled reaction at Kujou-san’s words. Her eyes were wide open, and her body seemed to be shaking in fear. But of course, she’s not the only one, because I felt the same.

—I’ll show them hell!

The conversation I had up on the rooftop with Bizen-kun popped up in the back of my head. He’s serious. He’s going to do something to Nanase-san.

“Oh, yeah! Her! …Wait, Ria, do you know her?”

“So, Bizen-kun came down from the stairs, and muttered something about Nanase-san? Shortly after, Asahina-san comes down as well…Wait, don’t tell me!?”

I didn’t want to hear any more of that.

“I’m sorry…I have some business to attend to!”

I can’t stay here any longer! I can’t bear it! The moment I thought so, my feet started moving on their own, and I chose to run away.

“Ah, hey!”

I ignored Kujou-san’s voice calling out to me, and headed to my own classroom.

3

The classes of that day did not enter my head at all. The teachers asked me several times to solve a problem, but I only remember answering them, not what I answered though. I felt dizzy, and nothing really mattered to me. Time passed on, and I felt worse and worse. I felt cornered in a small room, slowly making me go crazy.

—Maybe everything that happened this lunch break was my imagination? Maybe nothing happened, and I just ate lunch with Haruto like always?

I had an odd feeling like that. It felt like the hamburger’s meat sauce’s taste filled my mouth. How was it again…? Hmmm…

“What should we do today? Karaoke? They got some new songs apparently.”

“I’m lacking a bit of money this month, so maybe not? Ah, but I really feel like singing now!”

Eh, they’re talking about karaoke during class? The teacher will get angry—

“—Oh?”

There stood no teacher at the teacher’s desk. When I looked around me, everyone was preparing to head home. The time was moving close to 3pm. Classes apparently ended without me realizing it.

“Classes…ended? Everyone…going home…?”

Oh, right. I have to go myself. Now that school is over, I have to meet him…

“Haruto…”

I prepared to take my leave myself, as I stood at my seat on unsteady feet. I can’t rely on them to hold out. It feels like I’m walking on top of a cloud. Hurry, I have to hurry and leave the classroom, head over to where Haruto is—

“A-Asahina-san!”

I slowly turned around. Huh? It’s Yajima-san again. Her small body was shaking furiously, and her mouth opened and closed like she wanted to say something. I wonder what it is? I don’t really have time for her.

“U-Um, Asahina-san, do you—”

“Hey, you!”

That second voice was Nanase-san. Why is everyone bothering with me now? I felt a bit irritated.

“About the game…”

“—!”

Game…game…Ah, right. I had to lie to Haruto in order to deceive him.

“Hey, what are you spacing out for! We’re going to reveal everything now!”

Reveal? What? The game, to him…?

“Stop, Nanase-san! Let’s not do this to Asahina-san anymore!”

“Huh? Shut up. You’re acting like a saint now? Do you really have the right to say anything? You kept quiet this entire time, you know.”

“Ah…”

“If you get it, then piss off!” Nanase-san forcefully pushed away Yajima-san.

She waved her hand at her, as if to shoo away an animal, and clicked her tongue in annoyance. I watched this unfold in a daze, when Nanase-san walked over to me.

“Hey, Asahina? Aren’t you happy? You’ll be freed from your role soon, so be thankful. Playing lovers with that white pig was horrible, right?”

—Yeah, right. Nanase-san has been the trigger. If only she had never come up with anything of this. She couldn’t even be satisfied with just bullying me! If she had stayed with that, Haruto, and his surroundings on top, wouldn’t have had to suffer. If I hadn’t involved myself with him, he could have stayed happy. He could have enjoyed a normal high school life!

“Stop joking around!” I roared in anger.

“…Huuuh!?”

“You…you! Because you said that…! He…Haruto is…!”

Nanase-san was baffled at my reaction, her eyes opened wide. Yet, that fuelled my anger even more.

“Why did you do that!? What are you going to do for me now!? Now I can’t even tell him my feelings anymore! I like him, and yet I can’t do anything!”

“W-What are you talking about…!?”

I approached Nanase-san, grabbing her. My feelings were overflowing, and I couldn’t stop it. Because of you…I did this to Haruto!

“What are you going to do now!? Answer! Answer me! Hurry up!”

“A-Asahina-san, calm down!”

Right when I wanted to pull on Nanase-san’s hair, Yajima-san held me back. Let me go! Let go! It’s all her fault! She has to pay!

“He…Haruto will hate me…I…I don’t want that…!”

“What are you on about? Y-You were lying to him as well, right! You’re an accomplice!”

—Ah. Ahaha, right, right. Just what am I talking about? Any strength vanished from my body, and my burning hot head cooled down instantly. I did lie to him. Bizen-kun said the same…I am an idiot. Unbelievable.

“A-Asahina-san…”

“I’m okay. Please, you can let go of me now.”

Yajima-san hesitated for a second, but finally put faith in my words, and removed her hand.

“A-Asahina…You…”

Someone talked to me. Nanase-san? Or Torimaki-san? Whatever, not like it matters. I just ignored everyone, and walked out of the classroom.

“—!”

“——!”

I heard voices calling out to me, but not like that’s my problem. I just walked ahead, onwards to his classroom…Why is it…that even though I want to meet him, my heart is telling me not to go there. I don’t even know myself anymore. I just moved my feet, which carried me over to his place. Once I make it there, either my body or heart will be dead, I’m sure.

“Ah…”

Finally, I arrived in front of year 1 class 1’s classroom…Why do I see two doors? I feel like everything around me is shaking. Is there an earthquake? How scary. I hope Futaba is alright.

Anyway, I have to meet Haruto now. Once I do, everything will be okay. Haruto…Haruto…Haruto…I can finally meet you.

“Woah! That surprised me!”

Right when I was about to open the door, a student came out. I somehow managed to avoid them, but it was fairly close.

“I’m sorry, are you okay…?”

He is—Date-kun? The older brother, I think? Or maybe the younger?

“Ah, Asahina-san! You came!”

Hm? He seems fairly surprised, what happened? …Then again, I really don’t care. Where is Haruto? He should be inside.

“Um, where is Haruto…?”

“He is…well…”

…? What is that face for? Is Haruto out?

“He has some business with his family, so he had to leave early. He told me to inform you about this in the case you stopped by. Ah, nothing bad happened, so you don’t have to worry.”

Ah, is that so. Then, I could contact him through LINE—Yeah, there it is. I got a message from him. Just as Date-kun said, Haruto messaged me that we can’t go home together, and he added a sticker with a crying face.

I never even realized, just what is going on with me? I missed a message of his, that never happened before. But, I see. Haruto isn’t at school anymore. Hearing this, I felt disappointed—and for a brief second, I felt relief. I cursed myself for this.

“Is that so…Then, it can’t be helped.”

If Haruto isn’t here, then I have no reason to stay. I don’t want to run into Bizen-kun and Namikawa-kun either…Guess I’ll just head home.

“Anyway, I’ll excuse myself now…”

“—Um, about Haruto!”

I tried to walk away, when Date-kun called out to me.

“What about him?”

“He is…a moron, and a pervert…actually absolutely hopeless when it comes to girls, but he’s a great guy.”

“Huh…?”

What is he on about? I know better than anyone how kind and wonderful of a boy he is.

“T-That’s why…he might say some weird stuff from here on out, but don’t be too harsh on him, okay? He…really likes you, see.”

“——”

—He likes me.

These words turned into a sharp knife, stabbing me right in the heart. If I had heard that only a few days prior, I would have been dancing on cloud seven. But now, it was just proof of my guilt. My body started shaking…Stop, don’t say that!

“S-Sorry for saying something weird like that. Anyway, all I’m asking is that you please take care of Haruto, okay?”

—His words gave me the final blow.

“Ah—Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!”

No more, I can’t take it! Why, why does this have to happen! The second I screamed, I started running. I wanted to leave this place, this accursed school, as quickly as possible.

“Hey, wait! Please, wait a second! I wasn’t done yet! Ahhh, shit! Aniki, Big Bro! Come help me, I messed up!”

I heard Date-kun’s voice at my back. But, I don’t care anymore.

“Haaa…Huff…!” I kept running. “Huff…Ugh…” I pushed away the students in my way. “Haaa…Huff…!” I took my shoes out of the shoe box. “…! Haaa…”

I ran out of the school gate, and didn’t stop. I couldn’t see anything, couldn’t hear anything. I wanted to run away from my fear and guilt. I hate places where everyone is trying to hurt me. Not even Haruto is there to comfort me! Then, that only leaves one place. The only safe haven of mine. There, I have my family, my allies! They are always there for me. Once I make it back home, everything is fine.

I believed in this fact, and ran home. I was out of breath, as my heart was beating faster and faster. Every muscle in my body was raising screams of agony. Finally, I could see a familiar area, my beloved home was in sight.

“Mom, Dad, Futaba…!”

I rammed against the door, collapsing inside. I can’t breathe. It took me a second to control my raging heart. Finally, I heard voices approaching me. Thank god, it’s my family, coming to save me.

“W-What happened?” Mom gave me a worried gaze.

“Why are you out of breath like that? Calm down a bit, everything is fine.” Dad gave me a few reassuring words.

“Onee-chan, should I bring you some water?” Futaba walked off to the kitchen.

Everyone…Wait, everyone? Futaba’s school had foundation day, so it made sense that she was home, but why is Dad here as well? Did he not have to work? Well, that doesn’t matter. Just talking to them makes me feel safe. I can finally calm down.

“Fuu…fuu…”

Alright, my breathing is back to normal. I can’t worry everyone. Albeit awkward, I tried my best to force out a smile, as I looked up—

“Oh yeah, I heard! Congratulations, Wakaba! You have found yourself a wonderful boyfriend, right?”

“—Eh?”

—Mom’s words gave me the final stab.

“No need to hide it. I-I won’t complain.” Dad’s eyebrows twitched as he said that.

“W-Wait! Why do you…” I was baffled, when Futaba stuck out her tongue.

“Sorry, but…I accidentally revealed it!”

…Huh?

“Fufu, your father was so shocked, he went home from work because of that. Even though I sent him an email during lunch time.”

“Hey! I did take half the day off, okay! We have no work tomorrow, so I thought it was the perfect timing…Though, I was so shocked, I spit out my tea.”

Eh, what? What is this?

“Should you really rush home just because of that? Then again, it’s just like you, Dad!”

“You’re wrong, I tell you…!”

This is a dream…a dream, right?

“Well, either way, I’m really happy. To think Wakaba would get a boyfriend! Tonight, I’ll make your favorite food.” Mom smiled.

Stop…no more…!

“That’s why, let me hear more about this Iruma-san. Yes, about how everything started…”

—!

“Right! I also want to hear more about that—” Dad said.

“Shut up!!”

“O-Onee-chan…?”

“Haaa…Huff…”

Why…Why…!?

“You all as well!? Give it a rest already!”

The three were baffled at my sudden outburst.

“W-Wakaba? What happened?”

“I’m sorry, did I say something I shouldn’t have…? I was just interested in what kind of boy he was…”

“Onee-chan…? Sorry, I thought it’d be fine to tell them…”

“Shut up! I don’t care about that!”

This was the first time I ever raised my voice like this in front of my family. Futaba even started to tear up. But, I couldn’t stop myself. My head blanked out, and I saw red. I won’t be able to stop myself. I held back all this time, and now I crossed the line.

“Leave me alone! Just, don’t bother with me anymore!”

“Calm down! What happened to you?” Dad grabbed my shoulder.

No, let go! Don’t touch me!

“Hate…I hate you all! Don’t talk to me! Leave me alone!”

“Wakaba!? Wait!”

“Onee-chan!”

I pushed them all away, running. I went crazy. This is a lie! My family isn’t my safe space either!? I ran up the stairs, jumped into my room, and locked the door.

“Haaa…Huff…” I leaned against the door, and sank on the ground.

Sweat came from every part of my body. I wiped my forehead with my hand, when I heard loud sounds from across the door.

“Wakaba, open the door!”

“What happened!? Let’s talk things through! Please open the door, will you?”

Mom and Dad tried to persuade me. Stop, just stop it already! Leave me alone! How did things end up like this? This morning, I was feeling better than ever, so why! I don’t want to stay here! I want to run away! But, where to…? I ran away from Haruto’s friends, from my classmates, and finally—

—I ran away from my precious family.

“Ugh…!”

Why did I say something cruel like that? They don’t know anything. They only knew that I got a boyfriend. They were just happy for me. But, even if I regret it now, nothing will change. I can’t tell them. If I don’t have the courage to confess my lies, everything will stay the same. And, even if I were to hide the truth, there’s no guarantee that they won’t find out another way.

What should I do? What can I do!? I kept thinking, and thinking, and thinking, but I don’t know which is right or wrong. My head spun, my thoughts turned into a whirlpool. No, no…If this is a dream, please make me wake up! I don’t want this anymore…

“Save me…Haruto…please, save me…”

Desperate, I sought help from him. I knew just as much about how pathetic of me that was. But, my overflowing emotions didn’t allow me to change anything. I must have been exhausted, as I felt my consciousness drift away, and darkness filled my vision.

…

……

………Huh?

When I came to my senses, I was in a wide open space, all on my own.

—Where is this?

I looked around, but my surroundings were covered in mist. I have no idea where I am. Um, what did I do last? And how did that bring me here? Everywhere looked the same, not even allowing me to certify if I was actually walking somewhere or not. Finally, I spotted someone’s back in the distance. It was a well-endowed body, with a round head, definitely belonging to—

That’s what I like about you, Wakaba.

I started running. There’s no mistaking it, it’s him. My first love, my beloved boyfriend, it can only be him.

“—Haruto!”

Nothing mattered anymore. As long as he’s with me, nothing else matters!

“Haa…Haa…Huff…!”

I chased after him. Just a bit more, and I’ll reach him. His large back filled my field of view. All fear and anxiety was blown away, as I reached out for him with my hand—

“…Eh?”

—But, this very hand was brushed away.

Slowly, he turned around. His expression on his face, it was something I had never seen before. I instinctively felt fear at the sight of it. His eyes were blood-shot red. He had his teeth gritted as if to hold back his anger, as I heard them crushing against each other. The always smiling, kind Haruto was nowhere to be found.

“Haru…to?”

“Stay away!”

…His words made me stop in my tracks. His voice rejected me.

“Don’t you dare come any closer.”

“Eh? W-What are you talking about? Ah, you must be joking…right? It’s one of your usual jokes…I know it.”

However, his reaction emitted hate and disgust I had never seen from him. This is the first time he actively glared at someone. My body froze up, and no words came out of my mouth.

“You were lying this entire time, right? Don’t you touch me with those filthy hands of yours…!”

“—!?”

“You were having fun, right? Playing with the feelings of an unpopular boy, actually feeling good about himself for once!”

“N-No, I never!” I desperately tried to deny his assumptions, but he showed no signs of believing me.

“I don’t want anything to do with such a disgusting woman like you.”

N-No, don’t say that. You’re wrong!

“Don’t ever come closer to me, you…”

His normally kind gaze was beet red, and his mouth, which he used to tell me how much he loved me, bent.

“—Scum!”

Haruto. Said. So.

“—Eek.”

I thought my heart stopped. My throat dried up, and my head turned blank. At the same time, he turned his back towards me, walking away. He wouldn’t even bother looking back to me. He’ll leave me behind, and wander off to a place where I can’t reach him—

“—Nooo!”

I clung to his foot, desperately trying to stop him.

“Don’t go! Don’t leave me! I’ll improve! I’ll apologize, and bow down to you!” Any shame left my body, as I just started screaming. “I’ll do anything! A kiss, lewd stuff, as much as you want! You can do whatever you’d like with my body!”

That’s why, that’s why…!

“Please…don’t…hate me…!”

However, he did not listen to my words, and just walked away from me.

“No! No no no no! Haruto! Harutooooo!”

My hand couldn’t reach him, and the mist covered my body, until my surroundings turned white.

…

……

………Ah!?

“Eh, this is…my room?”

Observing my surroundings, I found the same scenery from before my consciousness faded. So then, everything that happened just now was a dream? The morning sun shone into my room from the window. I was sleeping this entire time, huh. I tried to stand up, but…

“Ah?”

My body felt heavy. My head felt dizzy, and my gaze was still weak.

“Morning…is it morning? Then, I have to go…To school…”

—And meet him.

Scum!

“Agya…!?”

It felt like something hit me right on the head. No, no no no! That was a dream, just a dream…! I kept telling myself, but realized that Haruto’s reaction isn’t all too unrealistic. What I have done cannot be forgiven, and he has all the right to push me away.

Yeah, that’s right. That’s why I have to go. To the same pedestrian crossing, where he is waiting for me. I unlocked my room’s door, and opened it. Nobody was standing outside. That’s just perfect. I really didn’t want to run into them. On unsteady feet, I aimed for the entrance. My muscles were screaming in pain, but I just ignored that.

I was just too afraid to meet my family that I forcefully moved my heavy legs. After a time that felt like hours, I finally made it. I put my hand on the door, and was about to leave, when—

“Onee-chan!?”

That voice…? I slowly turned around, and found Futaba staring at me with a blank expression. Her usually cute face was pale, and her eyes made it look like she was glaring at me. Even though we’ve lived together for so many years, I’ve never seen such an expression on her. I don’t know why, but I thought of this as funny, and let out a snicker.

“What happened!? You’ve been acting weird ever since yesterday!”

“Don’t scream like that, you’ll wake up our parents. It’s nothing, really.”

“As if I could believe that! Is it because I told them about you and Iruma-san? Are you angry about that?”

Just by hearing his name, my body shivered. I turned my face away from my little sister, and shook my head.

“He isn’t related to this.”

“No way! I don’t believe that! You’ve been acting weird since yesterday—” There, she held her words, and put one hand on her mouth, as if she realized something. “Don’t tell me, he did something?” She shook her head, not wanting to believe it.

“That’s it, right!? He did something cruel to you!”

“No, that’s not it!”

You were having fun, right? Playing with the feelings of an unpopular boy, actually feeling good about himself for once!

“He…Haruto is not at fault! It’s all because of me!” I screamed, remembering the words of Haruto in the dream I saw. “Of course he would react that way after what happened!”

The moment I said these words, Futaba’s face grew pale again.

“After what happened…I knew it! How cruel, I thought he was kind…He’s the worst.”

“Be quiet! I won’t forgive you if you dare to badmouth Haruto!”

“Eh, b-but…!”

My little sister was about to raise her voice, only gritting her teeth now. You don’t even know the circumstances, so don’t talk all high and mighty…! A dark, burning feeling started to rise up from the depths of my chest. Even if I wanted to stop it, I couldn’t. My mouth opened, and I blurted out everything like the horrible person I was.

“Y-You wouldn’t understand it, Futaba!! You’re cheerful, and have a lot of friends! I’m totally different, just watching you while you’re having fun on your own!”

“O-Onee…chan…?”

No, I don’t want to say this! Futaba is my precious little sister, I don’t want to hurt her! Yet, I couldn’t stop my words.

“Just leave me alone! What do you know about me!?”

Finally, I blurted out the words I should have kept locked away inside my chest.

“Onee…chan…is that…” Tears came streaming down from Futaba’s eyes. “Is that how you felt about me?”

—Ah…

“Wakaba!? You’re awake!? Wakaba!”

“Wait, we’re coming right now!”

They must have heard the noise. I heard my parents’ footsteps approaching us. I could only leave behind my crying little sister, and dashed out of the house. I don’t want this, I can’t take this, I want to leave, I want to disappear!

…I kept running and running. However, my body reached its limits. My feet stopped, as I was gasping for air. And, when I was leaning against a wall, I heard a familiar melody coming from my phone.

“LINE? A message? Don’t tell me, this sound is…!”

All my exhaustion from just now vanished, as I frantically took out my smartphone. Looking at it, I had received several missed calls and messages. I didn’t realize at all. Half of it was from my family. And, the other half—

“Haru…to…?”

There’s no way I would have mistaken that. It was a message from my boyfriend Iruma Haruto. With quivering fingers, I opened the message, and read it.

Sorry to contact you this early. Can you come to school today? If you’re okay with it, I want to talk about something. The usual backyard, please. I don’t care whenever, I’ll be waiting there.

What does he want to talk about, I wonder? Well, I know he’s kind, so he probably was worried. I’m tired. I want to forget about everything, and just think about Haruto. Even if that is the result after deceiving him again.

4

After a longer time than usual, I made it to the school gate. I spotted several students coming to the school already, probably because of morning practice. They gave me puzzled gazes here and there, but I ignored them. I just want to meet him. And then…what was I going to do again? Oh yeah, talk with him. Ahaha, ahaha, I wonder what we’re going to talk about today? I’m sure that it’ll make me smile like always.

—You were lying this entire time…right?

“Ugh!?”

Aha, ahahaha…I can’t be bothered to think anymore. Where is Haruto? Where…where…there he is! I spotted him with my eyes, his familiar back appearance. I started running, and reached out for him with my hand. Just like I did after that dream.

“—!?”

I remembered Haruto’s voice from the dream, leaving me to freeze up. And then, Haruto turned around, slowly, just like in the dream. He showed me an expression I had never seen before. He slowly opened his mouth.

“So you came.”

“Haru…to…”

And then…

“Wakaba.”

He…

“I heard everything.”

He spoke those words I never wanted to hear from him.