Osananajimi ga Zettai ni Makenai Love Comedy Volume 2 Chapter 4 Part 4

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He who laughs last

Part 4

“So, without any further ado, I am Momosaka Maria, and it has been decided that I will now be transferring to this school. I hope to get along with all of you.”

The appearance of a sweetly smiling, flawless, little sister-type beautiful girl in the Entertainment Appreciation Society alias “Ultramarine Alliance’s” clubroom caused it to freeze over in a second.

“…… What’s the meaning of this, Suu-chan?”

“…… Haru, explain.”

“Now wait a minute! Why do I have to get talked to like I’m the one to blame?!”

I wanted to strongly point out that this time I hadn’t so much as done anything wrong.

I appealed, shaking my head from left to right, until Maria spoke while looking quite embarrassed with both her hands cupping her cheeks.

“Big Brother Sueharu said he wanted me, so–”

“Alright, I get it, Momo! Now shut up!”

Was this girl not an assassin sent to kill me? With one line she had turned the atmosphere hellish and I was scared to death.

“–Let me say it correctly.”

I explained the situation to Kuroha and Shirokusa unhurriedly.

“In the first place, Momo came to see me for the purpose of seeking my aid.”

“…… Aid?”

Kuroha’s eyes narrowed.

“Yup. So it came to me when I was listening to that conversation about us having the commercial contest. That Momo was being hurt by that piece of shit president, and she wanted help. Which was why she added the condition that she would quit the agency when we won. That’s how the story went, right, Momo?”

“That’s completely wrong, though.”

“……………………………… Eh?”

My pupils shrank into dots.

“I wasn’t really being bothered by Shun-san. Shun-san’s capable, but it’s true that I was trying to quit the agency because we didn’t have good chemistry. So this certainly became a good cue for me to leave and I got helped out.”

“…… Wait, so you weren’t looking for my aid?”

“I was. I was – starving for love.”

“…… Ohh.” Kuroha and Shirokusa harmonised.

Yikes! Those were the deadest “ohh”s I’d ever heard!

“I…… was lonely, but I was rescued by Big Brother Sueharu’s love!”

“Ahh, ohh, I seeee…… Haru, what does she mean by ‘love’?”

“Is that so, hmmm…… Suu-chan, what did you do?”

I felt like my life was in danger. The palpitations of my heart intensified, and cold sweat flowed from me unabated.

“No no no, I swear I didn’t do this out of love or anything……”

“You were willing to help me so far as to fight Shun-san, weren’t you? Then it has to be love.”

“Then that kind of love has to be the kind between siblings or something!”

As I so declared, the eyes of Kuroha and Shirokusa instantly widened in surprise and they both grinned.

What the heck, they had gotten their good moods back in an instant?!

But like, seriously, what was going on?

I thought that both Kuroha and Shirokusa felt some affection towards me, you know? The only problem was that I didn’t know of which variety that affection was.

For if it was feelings of romance that they held, then how did things end up with me being rejected? Well, the Kuroha of the present had since lost her memory, so perhaps she now genuinely did have romantic feelings for me though. But if I again considered how I had once been rejected…… did she perhaps not think of me as some kind of favourite pet instead?

“Big Brother Sueharu, how could you……? When I feel so strongly about you……?”

With that in mind Maria’s affection was very straightforward, such that I could tell of what kind it was without having to waver over it. That made me genuinely happy, but–

“Sorry, Momo……”

Perhaps it was because I had looked after her for too long, but at the very least I didn’t have any romantic feelings for her right now.

Maria was so incredibly cute, though…… This kind of feels like how I couldn’t see Kuroha as a romantic interest at first because she was in the childhood-friendzone……

Hm……? Flipping that around, didn’t that mean that like Kuroha, Maria also could become a romantic interest if there was a chance for it to…… no, I mustn’t think about that now.

When I fearfully glanced up towards Maria with upturned eyes, full of remorse at being unable to accept her feelings, she simply smiled with a face completely devoid of gloom.

“I don’t really mind, Big Brother Sueharu. Right now I feel blessed if I can just be by your side. After all, it’s why I decided to transfer schools ♡”

By any measure Maria was behaving too obliviously. Affected by her radiance, even Kuroha and Shirokusa were dumbfounded.

“The truth is that working in public entertainment has taken up all my time, so I haven’t been able to have a proper school life for these past six years. That’s why I think that this is a great opportunity. I’ll lack common knowledge if I don’t acquire the kind of experience everyone else goes through, and besides more importantly I’ve always longed to have one anyway. A fun and exciting school life, I mean.”

“…… I see.”

Having taken back my normal life by force, I understood how important it was.

While Maria too felt the importance of her normal life, she hadn’t had the opportunity to return to it. So had she now decided to lean on me as her elder brother, and transferred schools for the purpose of learning about the preciousness of living a normal life?

All the same I thought Maria was wise. It wasn’t easy, what she was doing.

Which was why I thought that I wanted to support her with all that I could.

“Got it, Momo. I’m glad you came. You’re very welcome here.”

“Thank you, Big Brother Sueharu.”

Maria accepted the hand I held out. A cute underclassman had arrived.

By now the feeling of being formally accepted should have hit her. Maria abruptly turned around and bowed towards Kuroha and Shirokusa.

“Oh, but everyone, naturally I’ll be joining the ‘Ultramarine Alliance’ too. Big Brother Sueharu and I – the two of us leading the way…… with such a wonderful leading actor and actress, a low-budget film simply won’t do! Hehe, right now we’re invincible!”

She had her cute parts, didn’t she?

Maria certainly had both ability and popularity, and as far as her fighting power was concerned there was nothing to complain about. One would pay through the nose to have her.

“Ahh, but you know, don’t you think it would really be a bit too conspicuous if you and I teamed up together? Will the president not come and try to retaliate against us or something?”

“He probably will.”

“How can you say something like that so calmly, Momooo?!”

This was really bad, wasn’t it? We were mere high school students, up against a president. The odds were stacked against us.

“Because for the time being, I’ve given him a warning.”

According to Maria, it had gone something like this:

Maria had quit the agency as stipulated, and gone to say her last farewells.

When she did–

Momosaka-chan, I have no choice because this was a condition, but it would be better if you were all prepared to be my enemy from this point forward. Would you mind telling that to those pieces of scrap?”

Something to that effect had apparently been said.

As a result, Maria had supposedly replied:

Oh, I certainly will, but in that case let me say one thing as well. If you challenge us to a fair fight then we’ll happily oblige, but if you start attacking us with cowardly behaviour that goes against the law, then I’ll crush you with all the power and connections I’ve built up thus far. Please be prepared.”

I spoke to Maria with a huge grin on my face.

“Why’d you say he could challenge us? Wasn’t that like super provocative?”

“Eh? After all, it’s a lot more exciting when you’ve got a rival, right?”

From this angle Maria appeared to be quite the acting junkie. She had a combative mentality, or a penchant for wanting to meet other strong people or something. Well at any rate she had at least done us the favour of warning the president against using unlawful means to attack us, so perhaps we should only worry if and when something happened.

I whispered into Kuroha and Shirokusa’s ears.

“Getting Momo to join us is going to be huge. She’s the strongest asset we could possibly add. Don’t you think this will put the Ultramarine Channel at a level where we can start competing with professionals?”

But both of their expressions were clouded.

“Hmm, I understand what you’re trying to say, Suu-chan, but……”

“There’s something about this that bothers Big Sister a little……”

The two girls were relatively dissatisfied. But well Tetsuhiko would probably be in favour of it, and so was I.

It was two votes to two, upon which the matter would likely be decided with Maria herself saying she was going to join.

“My, a little too immoral, isn’t it, for the three of you to be making out in such broad daylight?”

Our whispered conversation had apparently led us to be wrongly accused.

Maria smiled sweetly as the three of us each made our own denials.

“Oh, not to be worried, the two of you. I have a large heart, so I’ll allow it even if Big Brother Sueharu cheats on me with the both of you a little.”

“…… Huh?”

Murderous intent projected from Kuroha and Shirokusa, but Maria’s smile was unwavering.

Yeah, this was a dangerous development……

I worked my phone surreptitiously and three-called¹ a certain number.

“We students are young, after all, and it’s a common thing for a boy’s eyes to wander. But please, consider what will happen ten years into the future. Big Brother Sueharu will probably have become the actor who represents all Japan, and I certainly the actress who does…… it could be that we might have even gone to Hollywood. In that event, I will be the only one who can stand by Big Brother Sueharu’s side, so to speak…… or perhaps it is better said that all those who aren’t me will be unworthy to…… Because I know I shall be chosen in the end, my heart is large in the sense that I perhaps wouldn’t mind it if Big Brother Sueharu showed a teeny bit of mercy to some poor fools.”

“…… You know, perhaps it would be better if we wrapped this kid in a bamboo mat and threw her into a river.”

“…… What a coincidence, Kachi-san. I was just thinking the exact same thing.”

So how come the two of you can buddy up so quickly only when it’s Maria who you’re dealing with?!

“Oh, and I’ll welcome you whenever, Big Brother Sueharu, so please do call on me when it pleases you to ♡”

There we go. Maria being Maria, she had said something to audaciously fan the flames.

Since it had come to this, then–

“…… Oh, that reminds me, I forgot something! I gotta go back to the classroom and grab it!”

Saying so I threw open the door of the room and ran.

“Big Brother Sueharu?!”

“Wa-, Haru?!”

“Suu-chan?!”

How could I possibly stay there?! My heart would die if I did!

There were footsteps and people behind me. The three of them were chasing.

In the back of the gym, devoid of human presence, Rena stood with a completely ordinary cardboard box placed naturally beside her.

With my eyes I gave Rena a signal, then immediately crouched into a ball on the spot. Without further ado she then covered me with the box from above, upon which my vision darkened.

“Rena-chan! Did you see Haru?!”

“He was running the other way.”

“Thanks, Asagi-san.”

“Is that girl an acquaintance?”

“She works as a jack of all trades. She’s a first-year like you, Momo-san, so why not try talking to her some time?”

“…… Perhaps I will.”

The voices got further away. But with safety in mind, just in case I waited motionlessly.

“You can come out now.”

“Niceee, thanks, Rena!”

I took out my wallet and handed her a thousand-yen bill.

“Any time.”

My arrangements for if push came to shove had borne fruit.

Me hanging up after three rings was the signal for there being an emergency, and for Rena to assist by bringing over a cardboard box and standing by near the room. If I then managed to get away safely she’d get a thousand-yen reward for succeeding. Everything had gone according to plan.

But of course all this wouldn’t have materialised if Rena hadn’t been close. So, well, she had been there for me just when I thought it would be great if she was. She was an underclassman I could rely on.

“By the way, paisen.”

“Yeah?”

“I forgot after asking the last time around, but why’re you friends with Tetsu-senpai again? ‘Specially when y’all fight all the time.”

“Ahh.”

I was asked about something like that, was I? It wasn’t a big deal so I had completely forgotten.

My answer was prompt.

“Well, I get asked a lot to do something, or show something, when people find out I used to be a child actor, you know?”

“Well, I would expect so.”

“It’s not like I can’t, but in the end they’re just rubbernecking, aren’t they? In that sense, those people are kind of distant, like it’s a relationship where I’m the only one doing anything and the rest of them are just watching or something.”

“Hm.”

“But Tetsuhiko alone’s different.”

The high school entrance ceremony had ended, and we had done our self-introductions in the classroom.

Going out into the corridor, thinking about going home – it was Tetsuhiko who had enthusiastically tapped me on the shoulder.

“–Hey, you’re that former child actor, Maru Sueharu, aren’t you? Wanna do something interesting with me?”

At that instant, I thought that, yeah, this was it.

“They say friends are the people who stand beside you, right? Having different personalities, interests…… well to a certain extent you’d get along better if those things matched, but there isn’t anyone who’s a hundred percent the same as you are anyway, so all of that is pretty unimportant, isn’t it? That guy alone tried to do something with me. In other words, he stands beside me. So that’s why he and I are friends.”

“Ahh∼, I see∼”

Rena appeared to be impressed.

“You’re a little alike, paisen, you and Tetsu-senpai are. But not everywhere, of course.”

I grinned broadly, then spoke definitively.

“Would you mind not saying that I’m like him even if you’re only joking? I’ll get hurt, you know?”

“Wow, this guy’s a pain in the ass.”

Hmm, how cheeky.

Thereupon I visited a light chop upon my underclassman, teaching her how scary an upperclassman could be.

*

¹In Japan, to ring someone else’s phone three times. Apparently derived from the concept of picking up a phone within the first three rings as part of good business etiquette.

1 thought on “Osananajimi ga Zettai ni Makenai Love Comedy Volume 2 Chapter 4 Part 4

  1. thx for the chapter

    Like

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