Hentai Ouji to Warawanai Neko. Volume 2 Chapter 1

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Au-revoir My Home

The world was tainted a burning red color. When I gazed outside the bus window, I saw that the city was covered with the color of the red sunset. I felt like the sun was going down faster and faster in the West each day. When I thought about it, I realized that today and tomorrow were the only days left in August. Summer is going to end soon.

Along with the cicadas that were on their way to die, the summer of my second year of high school was slowly but surely drifting away. My one and only summer as a sixteen year old.

…When I thought of it in those terms, a sensation akin to a raging tsunami washed over my chest. I felt the itch to do something right now. What did I even do this summer? I talked with girls (in video games). I watched girls exercise (on video). I watched girls in general (through binoculars). Every year, it’s the same three things. No wait, that wasn’t all.

Ever since last month, my environment has changed drastically. That’s right, with more friends in the mix, I could play around more than usual. We played our hearts out at the game center, or just ate lunch together. We even went to an amusement park. To those of you who are curious and want to know the details, feel free to read my fantasy diary, which has been compiled in the Yokodera-kun collection. Oh, you couldn’t care less? Well, alright…

It was fun. It really was. But something was still lacking.

“Pleasure is the only thing to live for. Nothing ages like happiness.”

The Irish satirist (Pervert), Oscar Wilde, lived his short life in such fashion. I always live so that I can learn from him. Even now, wouldn’t it be better to seek out something that feels more like a summer activity? For example, going to a summer festival with a girl.

—30th of August, 6pm. I tried describing these feelings to the girl who sat next to me on the bus. This girl, Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko, responded.

“…You really haven’t changed at all, Senpai. Being influenced by the words of some old person. Why don’t you…”

“Why don’t I, what?”

“………”

She directed her face at the window instead and made no movement at all.

“H-Huh? Tsutsukakushi? Did something happen?”

If asked what she was looking at, then she probably wasn’t looking at anything in particular. A young married couple was walking around the corner of the street, a small family was standing in front of the pedestrian crossing, and there were some siblings running around. She ran her eyes across all of these rather than gracing me with eye contact.

“…Um, Tsutsukakushi-san?”

On top of that—

“Even if we went to a summer festival, what would we do there?”

She hit me with that question.

“What kind of question is that…?”

Is that something you have to ask? Well, it’s not like I would know, since I’ve never asked a girl out on a date before. Judging from the exchanges I’ve seen in videos, it goes something like: “Let’s go to a summer festival!” -> “Okay, let’s go!” -> “I like you, so strip!”

I thought that these were the three most vital steps, but I guess that reality requires a few more in between.

“I was just thinking we could enjoy ourselves normally. I wasn’t thinking of anything in particular.”

“Indoor games.”

“Huh?”

“I want to play indoor games. Like old maid or daifugō¹.”

“What a refined choice, indeed.”

I’d never seen anything like card games at a festival. A festival isn’t something that happens indoors anyway. While trying to deduce what she wanted, I arrived at the conclusion that Tsutsukakushi was saying something like ‘I don’t wanna play with Senpai anymore though~’ as she tried to distance herself from me. Is this perhaps comparable to the ‘I don’t wanna go home with you, my friends would get the wrong idea, and it’d be totally embarrassing…’ trope?

…No, that can’t be it! I shook my head in disbelief. We should be on close enough of terms that I don’t break down from a bit of anxiety such as this. Do you want proof? My pleasure.

The parameter of intimacy between boy and girl is comparable to the way you say goodbye. For example, take a cool, calm Senpai you’ve just met, and a bosom buddy younger student of yours. The way you say ‘Goodbye’ to either of them is completely different. Now there’s a little sister candidate’s ‘Goodbye.’ The chilly feeling would be groundbreaking enough to carve a new Grand Canyon.

Now, if you compare this to the relationship between Tsutsukakushi and I, we are above these three steps. If you ask me to describe it, we’re at a point where I can’t even put it into words.

—Of course, when I told her that, I received a deep sigh in return.

“What kind of ‘Goodbye’ do you want me to say?”

“Hmm… You cling to me and say ‘I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to part ways here…’ or something like that?”

“Eh, what do you mean by that?”

“Ohh, don’t get the wrong idea now! I meant it in the little-sister sense!”

“…‘I’m going home. Parting ways here would be total hell.’”

“H-Huh? Didn’t that sound pretty cruel? Also, why are you getting off already? I’ll see you off! Ah, she’s not listening. Wait! I said wait, Tsukiko-chan!”

When I got off at the last bus stop, following Tsutsukakushi, I was surprised by the strong breeze hitting me. Now that I think about it, they mentioned a typhoon was supposed to come in from the south soon.

‘The typhoon is going to just miss us~!’

According to a weather report from a worried-sounding Onee-san, this town shouldn’t be inside the storm area. Yet, judging from the agonizing creaking of the trees around, I could feel the omen of an approaching storm.

“You can’t just run off like that! You’re still small, so if you aren’t careful, you might get blown away by the wind!”

“That is rude. I am bigger than that. I will become bigger. Also, how many times do I have to tell you that I hate the idea of you calling me ‘Tsukiko-chan’?”

“Hm… then, Moon Child²…”

“Depending on the nickname, I am willing to sue.”

“You hate it that much?!”

Since Tsutsukakushi didn’t stop moving at all, I hurriedly chased after her.

“I can’t call you Tsukiko-chan. Nor can I call you some English name. The only ideas I have left are to call you ‘Little sis’ or ‘Nyanko.’ Which do you prefer?”

“Why do I only get two choices? Your vocabulary is weird, Senpai. There are many more things.”

“For example?”

“…For example. Really just for an example, you could call me Tsuki—”

“Maybe something like ‘Sweet Princess?’ Ohh, the Japanese Tale of the Bamboo Cutter³! Ah, where are you going, my baby!”

“Don’t talk to me. What kind of cultural sphere is that supposed to be? Pervert-san culture?”

My little sister (so named by me) became obstinate, walking down the street like a small beast. Her hair that was tied up to one side of her head was shaking left and right like a displeased cat’s tail. Seriously, just what happened that caused her mood to turn sour like that?

We found ourselves at a residential district fairly close to the hill with the single cedar tree on it. Lined up around us were large, old houses, as well as smaller apartment residences. On the right stood a long, stone wall. Because of how large the Tsutsukakushi Family’s residence was, it took quite some time to reach the gate from the beginning of the wall. Thanks to that, I’d grown used to this scenery a bit more.

Or so I was thinking, when the girl in front of me came to a sudden halt and turned around. Finally—This might’ve been the first time today—she looked me in the eyes.

“You don’t have to take me home. Thank you very much for today.”

“Are you afraid that I’ll attack you like a wolf or something? I’m the type of person who will stop if you really hate it.”

“So you admit that you’ll be a wolf if nobody stops you?”

“N-No. That’s not what I meant! It’s just a figure of speech!”

“Salmon⁴… So the words have slipped out of your hands. I feel like I get it, but I really don’t.” Tsutsukakushi shook her head.

Her tail-hair shook as well.

“That was just a joke. I do trust you, Senpai. That’s not why I’m saying this.”

“Then, why…?”

“My house is right over there. I feel sorry for having you escort me all the way.” She spoke with a monotone voice, showing no emotions whatsoever.

She doesn’t smile, she doesn’t get angry, her snow white cheeks don’t move at all. Her thin lips just stayed closed, her eyes resembling spheres of glass were calmly looking up at me. Even though every single part of her looked lovable, there was no cheerfulness to be found on her face. If anything, she looked like an android at best. But I personally was able to see her real expression beyond this cold face.

—And that’s exactly why I hesitated.

“Then goodbye, Senpai. Let’s meet at school again.”

Her ‘Goodbye’ this time was as serious as it could have been. Unapproachable, Tsutsukakushi lowered her head with impersonal movement and turned around. In the setting sun, she drew a long long shadow behind her, distancing herself without turning around. All I could do was see her off like this.

Now then, about the answer to that question before.

When I offered to escort her home, she immediately declined and distanced herself from me… I wonder what kind of rank I would have if I used an intimacy meter like was in the game I played earlier. If there’s anybody out there who understands the thought process of girls, then please tell me.

…Or actually, please don’t. I feel like the answer will only make me more depressed than I am already.

Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko can’t smile. It’s all because of the ‘Stony Cat’. Two months ago, we were both done in by that cat statue, and we ended up as partners. My life was in great risk, there were some circumstances with the Tsutsukakushi sisters, and there was a whole lot more, but a lot of things worked out in the end, somehow. Thinking back to it, some of these circumstances ended up being great memories. The flatty—I mean Azuki Azusa—even became a friend of mine.

But, in the end, we couldn’t get back Tsutsukakushi’s smile. Trying to think of ways to win it back, the girl and I met up on a frequent basis to walk around town in hopes of finding anything. Like people who have facial expressions they don’t need. I was hoping I could give them back to Tsutsukakushi as a present via the cat statue. Just now, we were coming home from another day like that.

But you have to keep in mind that I’m a normal, healthy high school student. Of course I’d get my hopes up if I went out with a cute Kouhai of mine like this. Of course, getting Tsutsukakushi’s expressions back is important, but I want to get closer to her as well. What kind of conversation should I start that would lead to rosy events? I’ve already filled an entire notebook with flowcharts for how it should go. As a result, my brain is full of topics to talk about, from her beloved steamed buns to my favorite gravure idol actresses. All of said flowcharts gradually but eventually lead to the final topic, which is her family register.

Why is the family register the goal, you ask? That’s because my ultimate goal is to become Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko’s older brother. A few days ago, during my decisive battle with the older Tsutsukakushi sister, I lost the right to call myself her older brother. But giving up after just one loss would make me lose the right to call myself a man as well.

Indeed, this time around, the story is about the Hero who rescues the little sister from the Evil King. My plan of attack is simple. Go out with the princess as often as possible so that the reality starts setting in naturally, like so:

‘Hey, hey, Yokodera-oniicha… Ah, I said it again~’

‘You’re not wrong at all. Call me that one more time, my precious little sister.’

‘O-Onii-chan… Tsukiko actually likes Onii-chan more than Onee-chan…’

Then we’ll end up in this cutesy siblings relationship. I really like the little sister character route. It’s been becoming a trend recently, hasn’t it? Or so I lived in my feeble dream, but…

“So you like those sorts of fantasies, Senpai. Is that so? You read too many perverted manga.”

“T-Telepathy?! Did you read the same manga as well, Tsutsukakushi?! Is this mutual love?!”

“…Listen. Even if the two of us were the only people left in this world after a global thermonuclear war, I’d rather be caught up in Armageddon than call you ‘Onii-chan,’ Senpai.”

There’s no sight of any sweet atmosphere like that! Tsutsukakushi sounded cold and indifferent like she always did, only responding with logic and reason. Though she looks like this on the outside, when we walked around town together, there was no sight of her admitting that her reliable Senpai (which is me!) is like an older brother. It’s the same even now. I mean, it’s not like I wanted her to cling to me. Just, rather than that blunt ‘Goodbye’, I wonder if it would hurt her to look a bit more sad?

‘We’re going to clean the house tomorrow, so I can’t meet up with you.’

‘The day after that, we have our start-of-term ceremony, so I have to go to my club.’

‘After that, classes will start up again.’

Now that we’ve gotten closer to the start of school again, Tsutsukakushi seemed like she was growing more cold than ever. I was pretending that we had gotten closer a bit, but in reality, rather than us becoming more like a brother and sister, it started to feel like we were as far apart as the earth and moon. At this rate, getting her back from the King is a pale dream, a concept trapped on a foreign world.

“Once the second term starts, we’ll only be apart even more…” While I was shaken side to side on my ride on the bus, I sighed in resignation.

I’m a second-year, and Tsutsukakushi is a first-year. Even if we attend the same school, because of our difference in year, our student life is entirely different. Since I’m not a 2D protagonist who automatically creates flags and events everywhere I go, just passing by her in the hallway is highly unlikely.

While thinking this, returning to my empty home felt painful and lonely. Right now, my family is out on a neighborhood-association-planned overseas trip. Since I had to show up to the track-and-field club, and because I planned to get close to Tsutsukakushi on a level that I couldn’t show my parents, I saw them off happily. But, considering the current situation, I’m not so sure if that was the right decision or not anymore.

…Well, it’s not like wracking my brain about it will change anything. For now, I’ve gotta take care of my homework. As well as organize my video collection. Maybe I can pick up some work as a guard at the preschool. If I want to become Tsutsukakushi’s hero, I need to become a hero for these children.

This is what I was busy thinking about when I stepped off the bus. I walked towards my home until… I saw that my house had vanished.

*

My house was gone.

It took me close to twenty minutes to even accept the reality of the situation. It took me another twenty minutes to fully come to terms with it. Unlike the Tsutsukakushi home, the Yokodera home was located in a suburban, individual tract home district. The houses looked the same in every direction, with the exact same design and size. If you were to push one of them over, they seemed like they would react like dominos, falling over one after the other. It was a neighborhood full of identical houses with similarly identical families residing inside them.

At the end of this chain of dominos, on the corner the furthest distance from the bus stop, it stood.

Or rather, it should have.

Instead, I was greeted by an empty lot. There were no signs of architecture at all. Nor was there any grass or weeds growing in the area. The ground was just plain brown. No doors, no walls, no bike, no nameplate, no potted plants… nothing was left. The Yokodera house had vanished without a trance.

“W-What is going on…?” I stood still as stiff as a board. Heaven and earth spun around, the direction in my eyes flipped, and the scene in front of my eyes looked like a different world instead of the scenery I should have been used to.

I found myself having trouble breathing. A cold sweat started building up on my back. My knees were trembling like they were laughing, and I felt like bursting out in laughter myself, but this obviously wasn’t something that could be fixed by laughing.

“Seriously, what happened to my house…?”

Yokodera-kun leaned against a telephone pole, devoid of any strength. He had gotten the Homeless End. And then he lived happily ever after.

“No, there’s no way I can just accept this!”

In this day and age where everything can be explained with science, an event that can shake my life to this degree just can’t happen! Help me explain this, my beloved science! With my feelings desperately clinging to any sort of last resort, I tightly clenched my phone. I want to talk with someone about this. Then get some kind advice from them, and have them help me resolve this absurd situation.

The first number that came to mind was Ponta’s. In times of helplessness such as this, I simply have to rely on my childhood friend. That’s what all protagonists in every medium ever resort to. Though most of the time childhood friends are girls. But, as they say, the bonds between male friends run deeper than blood and the entire ocean.

“Ohh, what is it, Perverted Prince? What’chu say, your house is gone? Well beg your pardon there, what are you on about? I actually don’t have a home of my own because I donated everything I ever owned to the children in Africa, so see you later. If you feel like it, chip in some money as well.”

This conversation almost felt like an assembly line. He didn’t have the slightest amount of trust in me. He might have actually believed me more if I said I made contact with a stranded homeless child from Mars. I guess our friendship was more shallow than a puddle of water.

While shedding a few tears of regret and betrayal, I moved down my address list. The first name that appeared was—Azuki Azusa. The crybaby rich lady (though not really rich) with wavy hair. Thanks to the events involving the Stony Cat, she’s a new friend of mine. Though she’s as flat as is physically possible, we’re close enough that she calls me a pervert on a regular basis.

If I had to break down the ratio of my activities during summer break, Tsutsukakushi made up around 50% of them, Azuki Azusa 40%, and the track-and-field club 10%. In that case, help me out here, flatty!

‘Any incoming calls from perverts are being blocked. If you realize what you did, go die by the roadside like a hyena.’

“……”

What kind of voicemail message is this? Also, is this her actual answering message for everyone else, too? I know that she doesn’t have any other friends, but I feel like she’s a bit too passionate about me… And at the same time, I feel bad for her. There’s no reason for her to go this far, anyway. Indeed, I feel like she should apologize to me for it.

Right now, this (not really) noble lady is in Okinawa.

‘As for our trip’s schedule, I was thinking of making it three days two nights. What do you think? I saved up a good amount of money, so we should be able to stay in a high-class hotel!’

‘That sounds good! It seems like you’ve been working hard at the animal cafe, huh?’

‘It’s my first time going to the sea, so I’m looking forward to it. I-I even bought a bold bikini! The sea pigs at the beach are going to be great as well! Ehehe!’

‘A-A bold bikini…you say? I’d love to see that!’

‘Ehehehe!’

During the first half of summer break, Azuki Azusa talked about this sort of stuff continually. I knew the reason why she was so dead-set on Okinawa, so I agreed to it. But who’s she going with in the first place? I had no idea, so I asked her about it.

‘By the way, who did you invite?’

‘…Why do you ask? Am I not allowed to invite someone else?’

‘How many people did you plan for?’

‘J-Just two, right?! Why are you so hesitant now?! We’re definitely going! Do you have a problem with that?!’

‘I don’t… But seriously, who did you invite?’

‘Enough of this! No more grumbling! This topic is forbidden now!’

‘B-But…’

‘Rrgh, I’ll turn you into a chambered nautilus, okay?!’

The person in question got so worked up about it that I was unable to get any answers. Even though she’s been talking about going on an adventure this summer, she pretty obviously doesn’t have any plans to invite anyone else along. Most importantly, she bothered me to talk about getting tickets for her flight and how she’s reserved the hotel. That’s something you have to work out with the people you travel with. Only a sloppy, clumsy Onee-san type who takes care of you has any special rights like that. A flatty like her doesn’t get any special treatment.

Or so I would have said up until a while ago. Because I probably had purged the unknown flatty from inside my head. But now things are different. After all, we’re friends now. So I helped her out a bit, so she could comfortably enjoy her trip to Okinawa. I want her to be happy, after all, since I’m her friend. I’m happy as long as she is happy. As long as one of us is happy, that’s just fine. So I decided to talk to them.

The two girls who we met working part-time at the game center. Morii-san and Moriya-san are their names, apparently. They are Azuki Azusa’s former classmates; her former friends.

‘You don’t have to lower your head like that, it’s just more troublesome for us, right?’

‘I don’t mind going on a trip with Ms. Earnest, but I’m a bit worried…’

‘Please! If she says anything, I’ll take responsibility if she says anything! Since you’re her former friends, I want you to go back to how you formerly were!’

‘That’s like totally not the problem here. I just feel like she’s already decided on the person she wants to go with…’

‘To be honest, it totally seems like she wants to go with you, right?’

‘Me? Haha, never. Not happening. She never even asked me.’

My perseverance finally paid off, and the two exchanged glances in disbelief, reluctantly nodding. The gesture looked oddly girlish coming from them, and at the same time I realized that they really were Azuki Azusa’s friends.

On their day of departure (yesterday, to be more precise), Azuki Azusa called me around 30 times, but I didn’t want her to waste time on me, so I ignored all of them. I don’t need her to thank me. Just warm up that old friendship with them.

And as a result of that…

‘Any incoming calls from perverts are being blocked. If you realize what you did, go die by the roadside like a hyena.’

That’s what I get. No matter how many times I tried, I only got the answering machine, and the message didn’t change, either. It was like all the joy she had accumulated before the trip had vanished, and she now sounded like an inhabitant of hell.

This is weird. I don’t have any idea what she thinks I did. I just wanted her to have fun on her trip to Okinawa. Why is she angry at me? A girl’s feelings are too complicated. I have no idea what to make of them, to be honest. All I know is that I’ve now been completely rejected by the two friends I relied on the most.

I guess I can only rely on the scroll function in my address book. Curse my non-existent popularity. After ‘A’ comes ‘L’. I have someone registered under that section, namely my ‘Little sister (In planning)’, a.k.a. Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko.

But can I really just call her right after that break-up a few moments ago? Wouldn’t that be pretty embarrassing for me as a man?

Or so I thought for a brief moment, but I remembered that I had lost all my shame. Because of certain circumstances, I had to give it away. I wasn’t hampered by embarrassment at all anymore, so I called Tsutsukakushi.

…If I didn’t call anybody right this instant, I’d break down on the spot, to be completely honest.

The surroundings had gotten dark entirely. The curtains of late summer had lowered around us. An evening cicada had missed his chance to look for a place to sleep, and was writhing in agony on the ground. But he didn’t go anywhere. At this place where he had lost his housing, he would have to chirp until the end of his days.

“I see, so the depiction of that cicada is basically hinting at my future fate. Once he stops chirping, the candle of my life will burn out…”

“Please solve your Japanese homework later. Reality and fiction are different. If you compare yourself to every single cicada you run across, no matter how many bodies you have, it still won’t be enough.”

“I know this isn’t related at all, but when you bring up the ‘no matter how many bodies’ part, it makes me think of a night at a harem in the royal palace, and it gets my blood boiling!”

“On top of being unrelated, that was just horrible. I’m going home.”

“I-I’m sorry, I was joking! You know, it was an Arabian joke! I won’t bring up any more of those!”

“Apologize to every Arab on the planet. What a hopeless person you are…”

While I was flustered and panicking and trying to stop her from walking away, Tsutsukakushi put one hand on her waist and reprimanded me with her usual expressionless face. She might have the body of a grade school girl, but her attitude is that of a young lady. I feel like I’m about to awaken to a new genre here.

A few minutes ago, when I called her and explained the circumstances, the usual cool Tsutsukakushi abruptly said that she doesn’t believe me.

‘I need to make sure with my own eyes. Tell me your address, please.’

Unexpectedly, she arrived fairly quickly. She acts cool and indifferent, but on the inside, she’s actually very kind. Onii-chan is going to fall for her. So much so that I feel calm enough to joke around.

Tsutsukakushi’s clothes hadn’t changed from when we split up. She was wearing a sleeveless blouse with a checkered miniskirt. She looked like an outlandish idol, and her buckled belt looked exceptionally stylish. That belt made a jingling sound every time she took a step. She observed the empty plot of land in front of her. In the end, it seemed like she had made some sort of decision, and she looked up at me directly.

“Let me ask this first of all. This is undoubtedly the place your house stood before, right?”

“Eh? Yeah, of course. What are you—? Ah, see, I sent you that picture, right?”

Maybe it was because of the incoming typhoon, but the clouds in the sky looked really oddly-shaped this morning. They looked kind of bouncy, like the chest of an Onee-san that was shaking every time she moved. I had let Tsutsukakushi know this, and had sent her a picture of it (which got ignored). In that photo you could see my house’s domino-like roof.

“Listen, I know that I don’t have any shame left in me, but I’m not so shameless that I’d make up something just so that I could see you.”

“………”

“Is something wrong?”

“…You wanted to see me, Senpai?”

“N-No, that’s not what I meant! I was just trying to say that I wouldn’t lie just for that! That’s right! That was nothing more than an example, nothing more!”

“Just because of that… nothing more than an example… I see,” Tsutsukakushi looked up at the sky, muttering to herself.

She had no expression like always, but I’ve seen her act like this a dozen times before, so I can tell. She’s definitely sulking. I was just trying to convince her, so where did I go wrong?!

“Although it’s just someone as unimportant as I, I gave it a bit of thought, and I assumed that maybe your awareness had been distorted in some way, maybe resulting in you mistaking this place of your house, but the picture you sent someone as unimportant as I does indeed match up with this location.”

“Um, Tsutsukakushi-san, I feel like you’re using some weird words in there?”

“It’s your imagination. Someone unimportant like me has never come to Pervert-san’s home, so someone as unimportant as I was just not worth inviting, that’s all.”

“…I mean, you know… I’ve always wanted to invite my precious and important Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko-san as the first girl to ever set foot in my home, and I did start putting a five-year plan into motion, which honestly is my greatest plan to date, but I didn’t find the right moment.”

“I didn’t quite catch that.”

“Eh? I was saying that I’ve always wanted to invite my precious and important Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko-san as the first girl to ever—”

“One more time.”

“Again, as my precious and important Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko-san, I—”

“One more time.”

“As my precious… and important… Tsutsukakushi…!”

“Life isn’t simple enough to let you off the hook with only that.”

“So you were listening!”

With no expression on her face, Tsutsukakushi let out a brief sigh. She played with the tail-hair with her fingers. According to my certification as a first-rank Tsukiko-chan inspector, this gesture shows that she’s in a good mood now. I don’t really get it, but I’ll take it!

“Anyway, you’re saying that your home was still here this morning. I don’t know how it happened, but at least we know when it happened.”

“I see. It must have happened while I was out today. But how did it happen in half a day like this?”

“Your neighbors might have seen something,” Tsutsukakushi’s line of sight moved ever so slightly.

She carefully looked over at the neighboring houses, which looked exactly like mine had.

“I see… No, that isn’t going to work. I told you that my family is on a trip, right? It’s actually a tour put on by our neighborhood association. Everyone who lives around here is probably out.”

“Everyone, is it?”

“Yeah. Our neighbors, and their neighbors, and their neighbors as well. Even the people who live across from the other neighbors.”

Normally it’s actually a pretty lively district, but now there’s not even the howling of a dog to be heard. The houses around were only silhouettes in the darkness, barely illuminated by the street lights, with the wind being the only sound you could hear. Tsutsukakushi looked like an expressionless dancer of the country of shadows, looking around her surroundings as she walked down the center of the street.

“…This is almost like a ghost town from a movie. What are you going to do now, Senpai?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re in a town with nobody around. Are you going to look for a place to spend the night? Will the gravestones start shaking in this originally empty town?”

“Don’t blurt out scary stuff like that. You’ve watched too many horror movies.”

“I’m sure some female zombies might stoop so low as to like even you, Senpai.”

“If I think about it rationally, I would very much prefer girls that are alive.”

“Then between a zombie girl with big breasts and a living girl who still has room to grow, which do you prefer?”

“The zombie!”

“…………” Tsutsukakushi just silently stepped on the ground with her foot.

Haha, what is this? Some zombie who’s uncertain about their foothold? Still, Tsutsukakushi sure has no problem with movies like that. I guess the atmosphere of late summer often goes hand-in-hand with horror, but I really prefer girls in yukata more than I prefer tests of courage. You can push down a girl in a graveyard, but that’s nothing compared to the miraculous romance of a half-striped yukata.

“That’s not romance, that’s a crime.”

“Stop entering my fantasies without my permission, okay!”

…Although we were joking around like that, I couldn’t shake that creepy scummy feeling clinging to my back. Nobody was in this town. Nobody knows that my house has vanished. I’m the only one in this empty town. The only one who knows.

“…Enough joking around about zombies. We have to figure out what caused this phenomenon—” Tsutsukakushi shrugged, then she rubbed her cheek.

I did the same. Drops of water. No, raindrops.

“Uh oh!”

“It seems like the forecast was wrong.”

Slowly but steadily, raindrops came falling down from the dark night sky. Eventually, they grew in amount and intensity, and soon it started pouring rain. Driven by the wind, the rain started hitting us from everywhere.

“Let’s take some shelter from the rain, Tsutsukakushi! For starters, my home would—Ah, right, I forgot. It’s gone, hahaha!”

“You sure have it rough, Senpai. You’re in an empty town with nobody around, and you’ll have to spend the night outside in the pouring rain, eventually succumbing to the cold. You’ll wake up underneath your own gravestone.”

“Stop with all this scary stuff! Do you want to kill me off or something?!”

“I said too much. I just thought that if I left you alone with your desires, you might really end up dead.”

“That is indeed too much! If you have a problem with me, just say it, okay?!”

“For now, I don’t want you to end up in a horror movie, nor do I want you to get a cold. I like Senpai more when you’re alive, after all.”

Tsutsukakushi was entirely exposed to the rain, just like I was. She lifted up the drenched hair that clung to her ears. From there, the water ran down her soft cheeks, all the way down to her chin, dripping from the face that was artificially made to look like a doll. Her eyes, drenched, were looking straight at me.

“So—Do you want to stay over at my house tonight?”

She spoke with no hesitation, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to ask.

*

The district we live in is located in the outskirts of the capital, so we mostly rely on public means of transport—in this case, the bus network. Though there are private railways in the northern part of town, unless I need to go on a longer trip (like to visit Azuki Azusa’s home), relying on buses was always a better choice.

To get to the Tsutsukakushi Household from my own, we needed to ride two buses. First, the one that would take us to our high school, and then switch to one that brought you close to the hill with the cedar tree on top. This was the third time I had taken this route today. First when I saw Tsutsukakushi off, second when I made my way home, and now I’m going back again. Going back and forth and back and forth sure is annoying—was something I did not once feel this entire time. Because this is an important matter. Live-changing, even.

‘Do you want to stay over at my house tonight?’ was what Tsutsukakushi said.

Tonight. Yes. Just this one word caused my fantasies to run wild like a descriptive poem. I’ve never experienced something like spending the night at a girl’s house in my entire life. The romance of youth is starting to move. The sibling-lovers approach is imminent.

I actually had set foot inside the Tsutsukakushi Household before. But back then, I could only feast my eyes upon their kitchen, and because of the circumstances, I was only allowed to for a brief moment. Not to mention that I was not invited back then in the first place. But things are different now.

‘You’ll have to stay somewhere eventually, and at my house we won’t have to worry about my parents, either. We have a lot of empty rooms to spare, as well, and I don’t actually care either way, so if you feel like coming to my house blablablabla.’

Tsutsukakushi spoke about the logistics lightheartedly, like she couldn’t care less, but since I had known her all this time, even with her lack of expression, I was able to read between the lines. I knew that Tsutsukakushi gets embarrassed easily and starts crying about basically anything. She doesn’t have any male friends. And now she’s inviting her Senpai to her house. There’s no way she ‘didn’t actually care either way’ about this.

In reality, beneath this cool facade, her heart is actually beating as fast as a small kitten’s! …Maybe?

“………”

While we sat on the bus, Tsutsukakushi didn’t utter a single word. She just faced forward the entire time. Of course, I had experienced this attitude before as well. I wonder what she’s thinking about? She gave me a cold, distant farewell, but came running the instant I called her. She then tried to scare me silly, only to invite me to her home afterwards. It’s almost like she’s a moody cat. Even when I tried to guess what she was thinking from looking at her profile, I was left in the dark.

Understanding someone else’s feelings in the truest sense is too difficult. Instead of that, I saw that her slender shoulders, still drenched from the rain, looked cold, so I used my handkerchief to wipe them dry. Tsutsukakushi’s shoulders jumped as if it tickled her, but she lowered her head towards me in silence.

Tsutsukakushi corrected her posture, which led to our shoulders touching gently as our body temperatures mixed with each other. It goes to show that we were indeed part of the same world, right next to each other, enjoying this moment.

“…It’s gotten a bit warmer, huh?”

“………Yes.”

Until the bus made it to the last station, we stayed in this position leaning against each other.

By the time we got off of the bus, the rain had already turned into a downpour. Since neither of us had an umbrella at our disposal, we would have to make a mad dash for Tsutsukakushi’s home. But if I got ahead of her, I felt like her affection for me would get washed away with the rain. In order to create that much-awaited staying-over flag I had heard so much about, I have to show that I’m a man.

“Alright. Put up with this for just a bit, okay?”

“What are you—?”

Thus the scene came about where a current (temporary) track-and-field club member carried a girl from the children’s welfare club under his arm. Said girl was about the size of one of those children. Tsutsukakushi resisted furiously with her face buried in my flank. After we passed under the impressive gate and ran along the pavement towards the house, I turned Tsutsukakushi upside down and shook her until the key fell out. Once we were inside, I slumped to the concrete floor, finally able to take a breather.

“Ouch?! Why are you biting me?!”

“Why do you think? I don’t see any reason to carry me like this. You’re treating me like I’m a child.”

“I’m not treating you like one, you actually are—Again, this frigging hurts!”

“…Just when I think you can actually be a bit kind at times, just when I start seeing you in a better light, this is how it turns out.”

“I can’t understand a word you’re saying if you keep biting me like this!”

Tsutsukakushi continued her habit of relentlessly biting everything in front of her, this time targeting my thumb. Eventually she calmed down, thankfully. Does she get bitey whenever her affection goes up? Conquering her will prove difficult.

As we sat on the ground inside, puddles of water beneath started to gather beneath us. I was drenched to the bone, and the same was true of Tsutsukakushi. I could even see her light-pink shangri-la beneath the thin, drenched blouse—

“Achooo!” I sneezed.

My body temperature was drastically dropping from the summer rain. I had gotten so cold that I was starting to shiver.

“I’ll go bring a towel,” Tsutsukakushi said. She took off her shoes, and then turned around again to speak to me. “You can go and take a bath in the meantime. I’ll show you the way.”

“Woah, thanks!” I nodded. I was so busy thinking about possible steamy events that could happen that I realized something else far too late.

*

“The heck is this…?”

Steamy hot air wafted around me. I stood still in the sight of this excessively spacious bath. When I opened the door, I heard a weird sound. I concentrated on the sound to make sure that I wasn’t mishearing things. There was no doubt. It was the sound of a shishi-odoshi⁵ hitting against a rock in the middle of this steam.

It’s the first time I’ve seen a bath equipped like this. What is this? Some kind of hot spring inn? In the center of the room was a Japanese cypress wood bathtub, with thyme swimming all through the tub. Seriously, their bath was ridiculous. I had imagined as much when I saw the massive stone wall outside. But after we went through endless hallways, with reception rooms and gardens visible from the corner of my eye, we went through a changing room that could fit at least ten washing machines, and the sight of this bath on the other side made me stand still in shock.

“Was she actually just born a rich lady?”

If I told this to a certain fake noble lady and flatty, I might end up causing her to have some complicated feelings, so I’ll just keep quiet about all this. That’s just how far outside my range of expectations the Tsutsukakushi Household was. I walked along the natural warmth of the cypress flooring and made my way underneath a single shower nozzle. I never thought there would come a day where I would use the words ‘Made my way’ to describe walking through a bath like this. As I filled the cypress bucket with hot water, I sighed. I have to mentally prepare myself.

—When is she going to invade my bath?

Just earlier, she had merely handed me a towel, not even implying that she was going to attend to her own drenched clothes in the slightest.

‘Use the shampoo and hair conditioner here. The bath is right through those doors.’

‘Huh? What about you? You must be cold, right?’

‘I’ll take a bath after you. Take your time. Don’t worry about me.’

‘Why don’t we just take a bath together? We can wash each other’s entire bodies to strengthen our bonds. Wherever, whenever, I’m always ready no matter how far you wanna go. Now hurry and take off your clothes.’

‘Though I am a bit unsure how I should interpret this, I’ll let you know that there’s a police station about one minute away from here.’

‘W-Why would you go that far?! Nobody talked about your friendly neighborhood police officers, okay?!’

‘Is that so? I thought you seemed to be burning with a desire to talk to them.’ Tsutsukakushi showered me with a gaze as cold as a blizzard and closed the door to the changing room.

But, she was clearly just hiding her embarrassment, right?! When you think about things that can happen in the bath, you can’t omit washing each other. In every game I’ve played, the protagonist would have his bath invaded by a girl. It’s bound to happen. Since I’m the one waiting, I have to be the gentleman here and think about how to react. Should I have her wash my back, should I wash hers first? That is indeed a complicated question. Depending on the answer, we might go down the route that can’t be shown on prime-time television.

…With these thoughts in mind, I carefully started washing my head, went down my body, and rinsed myself off with the water bucket. Once I was done, I counted up to one hundred and restarted the process. Washing my head, washing my body, washing my head, washing my body, until one… two hours passed…

“Huh?”

Weird. There’s no sign of the door opening at all. I’m about to run out of shampoo here. What is Tsutsukakushi-san doing?

“D-Don’t tell me?!”

Maybe something has happened to her? A great incident that won’t even allow her to take a bath with me. I jumped up from the stool, filled with worry. In that moment, I could barely see through the steamy glass door that someone had entered the changing room.

“…is why…”

“…not allow… theft…”

“…ain… I was the one…”

“Don’t stop me… tear… to pieces…!”

I heard muffled talking—no, angered voices. There wasn’t just one person there. The light over in the changing room was flickering. On top of that, I heard the sound of someone stamping their feet. They sped up, approaching the door, even shaking it. This atmosphere clearly wasn’t normal.

“Theft…? Tear to pieces…? Wait, what’s going on?!”

The worst possible scenario came to mind, gripping my heart with terror. Unable to stand still, I jumped out of the bath area and into the changing room.

“Wait a damn second! If you’re looking for an opponent who’s neither a robber nor a hoodlum, I’m your guy—Eh?”

“Please listen to me. There are certain circumstances to this, so calm down, Onee-sa—Ah.”

“No, you’re being deceived! That thieving man is trying to steal you, Tsukiko—Hm?”

Voices blended with each other, and our gazes met, giving birth to an awfully long silence. A weird triangle like out of some weird wild west movie was formed, as all three participants froze in place. On the left side, standing near the wall, was Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko. She stood frozen like a Greek statue. But there was another Tsutsukakushi there, standing on the opposite side like a Buddhist statue in front of a temple. Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi—The club president of the track-and-field club, also known as the Steel King. She had her mouth half-open as she stared at me.

Ahhh, that’s right… Since this was the first time I was here officially, it had completely slipped my mind that there was an abominable pest living under the same roof as Tsutsukakushi. Namely her older sister who dreamed of marrying her younger sister one day. Really, things never work out.

“Sorry for intruding. And thank you very much for letting me use your bath.” Pressing down the despair that was welling up inside of me, I gave a calm and proper greeting.

The knight has to make a favorable first impression at any time, even when it’s in front of the demon king who has stolen his princess.

“Ah, uu… Eh… Hmm… Wahh…?!”

“Uuu? Wahh? Is that some new greeting in the track-and-field club?”

“You… mor… moron…!”

Or so I thought, but the Steel King didn’t return my greeting at all. Her normally dignified face was now suffering from a rather vivid red color. Her two almond eyes were fiercely glaring at me, but her lips wouldn’t function enough to form any comprehensible words. She shook her head as if she wanted to clear her head of something, making her glossy ponytail shake in the process.

What happened with you, Onee-san? Have you fallen for me?

I turned my gaze towards Tsutsukakushi, who was busy covering her eyes with both of her hands.

“Listen. I trust in Senpai’s goodwill, and I know that you didn’t do this purpose.”

“H-Huh? On purpose?”

“So please—Please put on some clothes.”

“Clothes…? Oh! Ahh?!”

Now that she reminded me of it, I realized that I was butt-naked… Now this is just between us, but being seen naked by a girl like this, since I don’t have a sense of shame anymore, only makes me feel refreshed. It gives me a sense of liberation more than anything. I feel like I’m about to awaken to some new fetish here.

But I guess people would enjoy it more if I was a girl, huh?

“I will, I will. Where did you put the towel?”

“D-Don’t come any closer! No approaching, no touching, no shaking!”

Just when I was about to take one step forward, the Steel King let out shrieks resembling screams of rage. Almost as if she were dealing with a wild animal, she took two, three steps back, tripping over her feet and falling to the ground. My, what an unexpected new reaction from the Steel King herself.

“…I mean, that reaction does hurt me pretty badly, you know.”

“Why do you have to embarrass me like this?! You show me that kind of monster, destroying the wonderful fantasies I’ve had for 18 years, turning them to ash!”

“W-What now?!”

“Shut up, close your mouth, and go die in a fire! I’ll turn you into sushi and then kill myself!”

“Again, why?!”

“I’m telling you not to come any closer!”

The Steel King wildly flailed her arms and legs around, grabbing nearby clothespins and detergent bottles to throw at me. That hurts! At least throw me a towel instead!

…Though now that I think about it, the King almost looks like a normal girl in this situation. Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi, whom I have known to always wear sharp looks, now has a beet red face. More importantly, she actually looks cute. I’m glad she became able to show her emotions like this. This realization led me to smile kindly.

By the way, from an outsider’s perspective, it probably looked like a fully-naked male high school student grinning down at a crying girl. Tsutsukakushi later told me that she was unsure when would be a good time to run call the police.

*

Inside the banquet hall, located in the center of the house. The room had at least 30 times the number of tatami mats than my room. Said room now harbored the two Tsutsukakushi sisters and the eldest son of the Yokodera Family.

After all that happened, I somehow managed to put on a towel, eventually accepted a lent jersey, and went straight to this banquet hall. Paper-covered lanterns stood in all four corners of the room. Surrounded by this dim light, we had a pleasant chat.

“I see… I understand the circumstances. So the Yokodera house has vanished.”

“That’s right. I’m glad you understand. I’d be even more happy if you got off me.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” The Steel King snorted in arrogance.

She was resting her hips on top of me. I had been turned into a sushi roll, wrapped up in a guest blanket. She looked like the King of the Dead with her ponytail. Rather than being treated like a guest, it felt like I was being imprisoned in hell.

It’s not like it matters in this context, but the King was wearing her jersey from the track-and-field club. She doesn’t even change into casual clothes at home. This really doesn’t feel much like a slumber party with her around.

“I still haven’t heard an apology from your mouth. You should apologize for the indecency you showed in the changing room. Not to me, but to the very young Tsukiko.”

“Yes… I’m sorry.”

Her argument was rock solid, and I found no words to counter it. Just because I don’t have any shame doesn’t mean that others don’t have it, either. While I was forced to stay in this state like a bagworm, only able to move my head like a turtle, I turned my gaze over towards my little sister.

“I’m sorry, Tsutsukakushi. I didn’t mean to…”

“No, I wasn’t looking that mu—I don’t mind it that much. I’m sorry for not being able to explain it to Nee-san properly beforehand.”

“No no, you don’t have to apologize for that. I’m the one at fault here. Just as Onee-san said, this is something I should have realized was the wrong thing to do.”

“No no no, it’s fine, really.” Tsutsukakushi shook her head.

She was wearing a normal t-shirt, and judging from her eye contact, it seemed like she felt some kind of sympathy towards me. If I wanted to give an example of what that look meant, it was like two small allied countries that were being abused by an overbearing royal family.

“Ah, I’ve seen you naked before, as well. I guess that makes us even now. Well, you might have seen me naked longer than I saw you, but there will eventually be another chance for me to see you naked, so I won’t hold it against you.”

“I see. Please bite your tongue and keep quiet, or bite your tongue and die. Thank you very much.”

“Huh?!”

The friendly mood that we had built up quickly dissolved into broken diplomatic relations.

“…Ohhh? So you say… you’ve seen… Tsukiko naked?”

Above me, I saw a black ponytail burning with fire as it shook fiercely.

“Urk…! N-No, well…”

“So that really happened. Now that you’ve said that, I finally know—You are indeed the younger Yokodera brother!”

“That’s the conclusion you’re drawing here?!”

She still believes that?! The Steel King pointed her index finger up in the air, giving off a cool impression like a detective who had just solved a crime. I felt a feeling of guilt welling up inside of me after seeing her confident, almost arrogant expression. Her misunderstanding has only gotten worse. But I have to tell her today. That there is, in fact, no younger brother. That everything that happened for the past few months was my doing, and mine alone. After all, I’ve learned the importance of telling what needs to be told, right?

“…Um, President. Can I have a moment?”

“Don’t call me that, younger Yokodera brother. Now I understand how you could act so vulgar out in the open. If you turned out to be the actual Yokodera from the track-and-field club, however slim the chance may be, I would have used hellfire, born by betrayal and hurt, to massacre you physically, socially, and visually.”

“…Fu… Fuhahaha! It is indeed I, the younger brother who is far more evil than my big bro!”

I definitely can’t tell her the truth! Even if it kills me! It’s true that I don’t have any shame anymore, but that doesn’t mean that my fear is gone completely.

“Senpai… for crying out loud…”

At my side, Tsutsukakushi sighed in disbelief, but she didn’t try to correct her sister, either. Tsukiko-chan really is kind. Thank you very much. You are the only person who would be kind enough to extend a pardon to a criminal with a previous record.

“And what was that nonsense? Your house is gone? Don’t make me laugh. As if something as unscientific as that would happen! I’m far too clever to fall for a lie like that! Knowing you, younger Yokodera brother, you just plan on making an attempt to assault Tsukiko at night!”

“As if I’d do that! I… No, I⁶ really have no other option!”

“Not even I am allowed to enter Tsukiko’s room as of late… At night, you’ll try to sneak into her room from the window, try to pick the door lock, and other various methods. I just know you will!”

“Aren’t you talking about yourself here?!”

She kept hitting me from above, ramming her hand into the blanket. Thankfully, though, said blanket acted as a cushion that absorbed the damage. Either way, the Steel Judge had already pronounced me guilty.

“I’ll throw you out right now! Don’t even dare to cross the threshold of our house!”

“Senpai is my guest. Are you not going to respect my decision Nee-san?”

“…Or so I was thinking, but it’s gotten late, so feel free to stay the night!” The Steel Judge hastily retracted her original penalty.

Thus, the verdict of the Tsutsukakushi Family’s court changed in a matter of three seconds. This judge sure is random, alright.

“That being said, you’re not allowed to set one foot outside of this hall. I will protect Tsukiko’s chastity! This way, Tsukiko will fall head over heels for me!”

“That aside, I’m reaching my limit here. Where’s the bathroom?”

“Nowhere! You won’t die if you explode!”

“I will die! At least my heart will die!”

“Then go ahead!”

The Steel King’s eyes glimmered like a falcon’s, and she opened both her arms like a falcon, giving the bagworm blanket with me inside a wild kick, which made me dance around. Please stop! You’ll stimulate a weird place! Things will turn messy in here!

I looked over at Tsutsukakushi, seeking help, trusting in her kindness. She set an empty bottle down near me.

“I’m sorry, Senpai. Please relieve yourself in here for today.”

“What am I supposed to do like this?! You’re telling me to sleep just like that?!”

“It’s fine. It’ll work out eventually.”

“When is that ‘eventually’?!”

Tsutsukakushi calmly lowered her head, trying not to make eye contact with me, just leaving the hall behind her… I-I’ve been abandoned! I thought that I had a chance to deepen my relationship with Tsutsukakushi during this slumber party. There should have been such events as a case of mistaken sleeping location. The wings had now been ripped away from my back. I was left behind in the hall as a bagworm, together with—

“Now then, the night is long, younger Yokodera brother. I’ve always wanted to have a good talk with you. Naturally, we’ll talk with our bodies. Thoroughly, carefully, intensely, and one-sidedly. That way we can deepen our friendship.”

The King of the Dead grinned heartily, making me wonder where I had picked the wrong choice. Somebody please press the reset button for me, please.

—Around ten minutes later.

“Mmm… I can’t… really, Tsukiko is such a pampered child.”

“……”

“Don’t act like that… I can’t walk like this, right…? Fufu, I can’t help it then…”

“……”

Left behind in the hall was a helpless bagworm, and a snoring King who was using said bagworm as her hugging pillow. The Steel King had drifted off to a deep sleep.

“No matter how much you like me, a kiss is… something you have to treasure a bit more…”

Shut yer trap. What kind of dream is that supposed to be? I rolled over inside the blanket, throwing the Steel King off of me. She fell face-down to the floor, but she only twisted her body a bit before continuing to comfortably drift away in the land of dreams. She had the happiest sleeping face I had ever seen. When I looked over at a large pillar that had a giant, old clock hanging down from it, I saw that it was barely 10pm.

Now the ‘Eventually’ which Tsutsukakushi had referred to finally made sense. The King’s night wasn’t long in the slightest. That’s the club president of the track-and-field club for you. She must live righteously and healthily. Early to bed and early to rise.

“Alrighto. Time to… rgh… enact my escape!”

Using the water bottle Tsutsukakushi had left me behind as a lever, I started my mission to escape from the sushi roll that restrained me. Because of the Steel King laying on top of me and clinging to me, I was sweating my butt off. I need to breathe, and more importantly take a trip to the toilet.

After a long battle of life and death, struggling as hard as I could, I somehow managed to free one hand out of the blanket. I eventually got my other hand free as well and finally escaped.

“That tickles… stop it. The cat statue is watching us…”

The entire time, the King kept muttering nonsense like that. Please explain to me what kind of dream you’re having.

“…I was so optimistic, and yet…”

Still drenched in sweat after my victory, I knelt down next to the sleeping, relaxed King. I should still be in the green even if I pay her back once or twice, right? The enemy was sleeping defenselessly, with her arms and legs spread out like a snow angel, revealing her white shirt underneath her half-open jersey top, which caused her two mounds to look soft like pudding as they slowly went up and down.

Unlike her little sister, she’s actually got some great style. Almost like a gravure idol. I gulped at the sight of this, and the King suddenly turned over.

“Even if divine punishment won’t hit you, there still will be a penalty…”

“……”

“I’ll… turn you into a mess… Mm…”

“…?!”

I retracted my hand as quickly as possible. Revenge never does you any good. The youngsters who live in the civilized society of the 21st century only think about the future! That’s right, I wanted to take a trip to the toilet!

…I’m not running away, this is just a tactical retreat. Right when I stood up, the scenery around me suddenly changed.

“…Eh?” I toppled sideways.

My feet were knocked off the ground. No, my leg had been grabbed and captured. By whom? Easy question. The Steel King was clinging to my leg. She was holding it right against her chest, rubbing her cheek against it like it was a plush toy.

“Wait, Tsukiko… where are you going…?”

“Hey, what… there ought to be a limit to how much you can move around during your sleep!”

“No, I won’t… let go anymore…”

My ankle was right against the opening between her two big bulges. A fluffy, songey, comfortable, hard-to-put-in-words sensation was pressing against my leg from all angles. It was more than I had ever imagined. Both softer and hotter.

“Wait, this isn’t the time to enjoy this pleasure!”

If this was one of the games I loved, and I clicked the choice ‘Oops, my body moves on it’s own’, some crazy Steel CG would probably unlock, but reality doesn’t work that way. At the end of the story, I’ll be the one to get blamed for this, right? It’s totally obvious!

“Let go, King! S-Stop clinging to me! Your shirt is going to get flipped up! Things will turn out very problematic!”

“Don’t wanna… I wanna stay like this forever…”

“I don’t care! I don’t want this! T-That place is really dangerous, okay?!”

“Why, Tsukiko… Why won’t you listen to me…?” The King shook her head like a small child. “Are you going to leave me as well?” She asked.

“…What did you just say?”

“No more… I don’t want you to leave…” Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko had stopped smiling.

Her long eyelashes were shaking. Her ears that looked so similar to her little sister’s, were faintly flushed. Her eyebrows were narrowed in anguish, and the corners of her eyes were red. Like an obstinate young man, she bit her lip, letting out a faint breath. Her entire body was tense, as if she were desperate about something. Whatever she was desperately holding onto in her dream, I didn’t know.

The Steel King actually didn’t have a steel face. Although she was the King of the track-and-field club, she’s not a king at all. She might be my respected Senpai, and the person still clinging to my little sister (in the making), but…

“…Don’t… leave me alone…”

…But more than anything, she’s a girl who can cry and have nightmares.

When I left the hall, the rain had only gotten stronger. The intense rain pounded down in the pitch-black darkness. Even the crickets were hiding from the rain, trying to withstand the weather. Though it’s great that things have cooled down more than yesterday, I’m starting to question if this typhoon is actually going to miss us or not. I’m putting my trust into you, weather forecast Onee-san.

After walking along the long, planked hallway, turning right, and then turning left, going up stairs, and going down stairs, I finally arrived at the toilet.

“…Scary!”

It seriously looked like a haunted house from an amusement park. From the dormer window came the sound of pouring rain. My surroundings were filled with darkness and shadows. I wouldn’t have been surprised me if four separate Hanako-san⁷ ghosts assaulted me. If some birdbrain or coward got lost in here, they’d probably start crying in panic.

Well, I didn’t end up lost, so I’m totally fine. Though I’d appreciate it if the leader of the Hanako-san squad was actually the type of girl you’d see casted in Transistor Glamor.⁸

“Still, she sure was weak back then…” After finishing my business in the old-looking urinal, I let out a sigh.

I never thought the Steel King—Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko—would cry like that. I don’t know what kind of nightmare she was having. It might have been a dream about going shopping with her little sister at a nearby supermarket at night and losing her little sister in the process, or it might have been any other stupid dream. It might have been the kind of dream she’d forget about as soon as morning came around.

But whatever this dream may have been, it was a dream that brought her to tears, and I hate that. No matter who or what it is, I hate it. I like the type of videos where the girls smile, while they do this and that. Though I feel like I’ve said that countless times already.

“…That reminds me, who does this jersey belong to?” While washing my hands in front of the mirror, that question came to my mind out of the blue.

Reflected in the mirror was myself wearing a simple, navy blue jersey. I had been given this in place of my other clothes, since they were soaking wet. It does seem like it’s a mens’ jersey, but it’s not from the current track-and-field club at least, and it doesn’t look like something a high school student would wear. The design was old-fashioned, to a level where Ponta might like it, and it’s actually pretty loose-fitting around the torso. Only the arms and legs fit well.

‘I’m glad you can wear it, Senpai.’ Tsutsukakushi had told me. ‘I happened to have it left over,’ she said with a tone like she couldn’t be bothered.

But little sister aside, I don’t think this jersey would fit her older sister, either. I heard that both of their parents had died. The two sisters had been living together ever since, and nobody else was with them… But then whose jersey is this?

“Another mystery, huh… Hm? Hmm???”

Acting like a bargain sale detective, I made my way back from the toilet. I took a left, a right, and as I walked down the hallway thoughtlessly, I came back…

“Umm… Where is this?”

I got totally lost. I seriously never imagined that the day would come where I would get lost inside someone’s house. Seriously, the Tsutsukakushi Household comes with surprise after surprise. That’s even more of a mystery. When I looked in front of me or behind me, all the hallways looked exactly the same. When I looked to my right and left, I was greeted by sliding doors and rainy scenery. Looking up, I saw the naked lights, flickering with a golden light. When I looked down, I saw the darkness opening its mouth, closing in on my feet.

“Eeeek! When did this turn into horror!?”

According to the typical youth summer romance tests of courage that I had looked into, a disaster in an unfamiliar Japanese residence with someone clinging to you apparently has a lot of upsides. If you add a rainy day on top of that, make it set in the middle of the night, and take away the part where someone is clinging to me, you’d get the situation I’m in right now… Basically.

“Gyaaa! Someone! Tsukiko-chaaaan!”

It basically would end with you panicking and running down the hallway as you scream in fear. I felt like I had been thinking about something important just now, but it completely slipped my mind. Wherever I am, I always get lost.

I aimed for the light in the darkness and returned to the toilet from before.

“Why?!”

Now I’m even in a loop like a typical ghost story! You really can’t underestimate Japanese residences like this! When is a Azukiarai⁹ going to appear?! I’m sure that Azukiwhatsit is going to be a flatty and crybaby! …Hm? That isn’t even that scary, huh? The moment I envisioned my friend appearing instead of an apparition, the panic was suddenly swept away like a tidal wave.

When I finally managed to calm down and look at my surroundings a bit more carefully, I realized exactly where I was: Inside the dressing room next to the toilet. The one next to the bath I had been in. Now that I think about it, didn’t Tsutsukakushi tell me exactly where the toilet was, anyway? The lights were still on, as if to guide my way there. I guess I just forgot to turn them off, that’s all.

“I have to conserve energy!”

I really love Denko¹⁰-chan (or at least her model that was used in a doujin that I read), so I decided I’d follow her teachings… That’s all there was to it. There was absolutely no ill-will.

The moment I opened the door to the changing room, I was engulfed by white steam. The door leading to the bath was open, as if someone had just stepped out of it, filling the place with humid fog.

“…So you’re still awake?”

“…?!”

I still can’t tell if I was lucky or unlucky that I barely managed to hold my voice back in the presence of another one speaking in such a calm tone.

“It’s rare for you to still be awake, Nee-san.”

A single girl had just finished her shower. She was wiping her hair dry with a towel as her back was turned to me. It was the first time I had seen her loose black hair. The towel was really big, and it looked very out of place compared to her small head. Her two slender arms, stretching down from her small shoulders, were working their hardest to dry her drenched hair.

“Senpai seemed to be tired as well, so go free him from the blanket, okay? He might be a bit careless, but he’s not a bad person. I can guarantee that. …Sometimes, and really, really rarely, he can even be kind.”

Her back was slightly red, with water droplets running down it like condensation on a bottle of ramune soda¹¹. Her round, puffed-out buttocks resembled a peach, with a glimmer of red on them The steam swirled around her thighs and calves. Although I had thought that she was a young, too young, girl, the sight of her from behind surprisingly looked fresh and youthful like a fruit.

“Also, we ran out of shampoo for some reason. There are some spare bottles on that shelf, so—” Tsutsukakushi glanced over her shoulder and froze in place immediately.

I stood stiff as a board with this delectable food sample in front of me. Neither of us moved a muscle. Only our gazes met, and the air around us died out.

“…”

“…”

“……”

“……”

I couldn’t tell how much time had passed as we looked at each other intensely. Millions of years, starting from the creation of the oceans to the death of the human race, ran back and forth inside my head, but the world right in front of me was still wrapped in steam, and the delicious-looking Tsukiko-chan was standing in the middle of the scene. I stood still like an unchanging pole.

…No, that’s wrong. I was slowly but steadily moving backwards. Not out of my own will. An invisible force was driving me to do so. Even though Tsutsukakushi should have no expressions at all, only innocent eyes like a small kitten, her eyes were filled with an odd energy. As if she were a supernova about to explode.

I-I can’t stay here! I have to go back to my room!

“……T-That’s right… the shampoo!”

“………”

“I used too much before… And… Ah, I dropped it all off the shelf… Haha, I have to fix that later… Anyway, I’ll excuse myself now… Good night, and sweet dreams!”

Awkwardly, I turned around on the spot, immediately making my hasty retreat out of the changing room. A-Alright! I managed to somewhat naturally escape this mess! Just what I’d expect from me! All I have to do is apologize tomorrow, and—

“—You’re a perfect example of human waste. Do you really think that tomorrow will come for you?”

Grind. I heard a sound. A fierce palm of a hand grabbed my shoulder. It had enough killing intent and strength to crush my bones.

“Urk?!”

The great Steel King reigned over the hallway. Her wide-awake, freezing-cold eyes were looking straight at me. All the remains of her nightmare, all the traces of her tears, had been wiped away. And if that weren’t enough, her healthy, white teeth were grinding against each other, creating explosive sounds in the process. Are you also a customer of the Tsutsukakushi Restaurant, King? You can put those teeth to good use quickly, hahahahaha… Wait, I don’t think I can talk my way out of this!

“W-Weren’t you supposed to be asleep?!”

“I received an SOS signal from Tsukiko. A prophetic dream of a great flood approaching my abdomen!”

“Ahh, so you needed to visit the toilet. I see!”

“Normally, I would have never allowed you to escape my grasp… Hmm? I see! You induced my slumber with a supernatural ability, you ingrate!”

“Don’t give other people superpowers just so it matches up with your story!”

“Shut up, thieving man. I haven’t even had the chance to feast my eyes upon Tsukiko right after her bath recently—I shall not forgive this!”

So she’s just jealous?! Or so I would have loved to say, but I wasn’t given any time. The Steel King’s normal expression looked like a death god’s, which left me no room for arguing back. That being said, she used to be unable to show her true feelings, so now that she’s received the ability to do so, I could see the true fury burning in her eyes, and the fist she brandished had the intent to choke all the life out of me—

“Bastard, where are you going?!”

All I could do in order to survive was run for my life. I slipped past the Steel King’s flank and bent my body forwards. I made a triple jump like a trained athlete, changed my form into the pose of a short-distance runner, and then gradually found a constant speed like a long-distance runner as I dashed down the hallway. You may have forgotten, but I’m actually a member of the track-and-field club, and I’ve carried the burden of high expectations from lots of people.

…Well, if you compare it to the Steel King, who’s a generalist and a specialist in all the various disciplines of track-and-field… Basically, the King transcended the impossible like it was nothing. I bet she’s only going to take three seconds to catch up to me.

“C-Coward! Don’t run away, younger Yokodera brother!”

Or so I thought, but the Steel King showed no intentions of running after me. When I glanced behind me, the Steel King was chasing after me with the speed of a jet plane, only to then move backwards like a bulldozer three seconds later. That process repeated itself countless times, allowing her no progress.

I see what this is. She’s too interested in what’s going on beyond the open door of the changing room. Just how much do you love your little sister…?

“Grrr… Come back! If you apologize and cut your stomach open, I won’t punish you!”

“Is there any punishment in Japan today that’s worse than being forced to commit seppuku¹²?!”

I never knew when the restaurant might close, so I couldn’t relax just yet. I just ran down the dimly-lit hallway, the flickering light bulbs lighting my path—And I promptly got lost again.

After I wandered off-course for a while, a path perpendicular to mine, fully exposed to the wind, appeared in front of me. Did I go past here on my way to the toilet? I can’t remember at all. More importantly, though, I could hear the distant, still-quiet sound of footsteps running around, which most likely belonged to the King. I could even hear her screaming things such as ‘Get the cheese grater!’ and ‘Where are the pincers?!’

“What can you even do with those…?”

I couldn’t think of anything, but I was probably better off not knowing. Since I couldn’t go back, I had to move forward. In a panic, I got down from the veranda, but along with the sound of the rain hitting the tilted roof, I could hear the demon lord was approaching. Help me, Dad. The more I heard these voices of rage, the faster my legs moved. In the end, I ran down the walkway while nearly falling over. I bumped against a solid, plastered wall.

“This is—”

A storehouse, not to mention a pretty big one. It looks like a treasure shed at a landlord’s residence you’d see in historical drama or plays. The plaster was starting to lose its color, and it was kind of dirty all over. It was quite wide and deep, and it looked large even from the outside. Height-wise, it looked taller than a three-story building. There were even some open windows high up, but they were so far up I couldn’t clearly make them out.

It stood in the darkness with this dignified appearance.

Thinking back to it, it had probably been inviting me in. After all, the sturdy double doors were open ever so slightly, offering a gap barely wide enough for a single human to fit inside. The interior sliding door, as well as the screen door inside that, opened before I could decide what to do, without me doing anything.

The inside of the storehouse was pitch black. The instant I set foot inside, all the sounds of rain and roaring voices were completely shut out, letting me enjoy the calm of the night. This place is completely isolated from the outside world. All that was there was darkness that hearkened back to primitive times, artificially-created musty air—and the presence of something.

Near the handle to the screen door, a flashlight was dangling. When I clicked it on, a round circle of weak light shone through the space. One part of it was an atrium, with a ceiling high up in the air. When I lit up the area around my feet, I saw random objects scattered everywhere.

“…Isn’t this place just full of trash?”

Countless different objects were scattered around, obstructing any possible space for me to walk on. It looked like an earthquake had scattered stuff everywhere. Does nobody clean things up in here? I really didn’t expect that, and it was kind of a letdown to be honest. You can’t even use this storehouse for a bondage scene with a girl in a kimono. Feeling slightly disappointed, I directed the light over at the wall—and met eyes with the Stony Cat.

“?!”

With a complete lack of expression, the statue of the Stony Cat looked down at me. No, that’s not right. This isn’t the ‘Stony Cat’. That cat statue was created by Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi, and it was still up on the hill with the cedar tree. The cat statue in front of me was too big to be that. It stood like a moai statue that had been respected since ancient times. This entire storehouse seemed to be its own property. It stood taller than normal single-family homes everywhere, and even taller than the walls of the storehouse.

The stuffy air made it hard to breathe. The primitive darkness and moldy air and the pressure of the giant, holy statue filled the storehouse that should have felt so open. Wherever I looked, wherever I turned to, the interior of the storehouse felt so small, and the Stony Cat was looking at me from every angle. This isolated space felt like it was created for the sake of the Stony Cat.

—It felt like something was shaking.

I don’t know why, but something was fluttering in the air. Even though no air should have been able to get in here. The moment it entered the corner of my sight, I reflexively grabbed it with my hand. It wasn’t anything special. Just a piece of paper. Rectangular, with a yellow color.

—In the dead center of the paper, it said ‘Seal’ with big letters.

“What the heck is this…?”

I tried laughing in the face of this anti-climatic development, but no voice would leave my throat. Was this piece of paper really something that was fine to be falling off? It’s not like it’s my business, but shouldn’t this paper be on the giant statue in front of me?

I had a bad feeling about this. And, sadly, this bad feeling was usually on point whenever it seemed that things would go south.

The Stony Cat continued to stare intently at me. The gaze became more and more intense as time went on.

---

1 Japanese card game similar to President/Scum/Capitalism

2 Reminder: Tsukiko is written as moon child; Original is in English as well

3 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tale_of_the_Bamboo_Cutter

4 Figure of speech and salmon sound exactly the same here

5 water-filled bamboo tube which clacks against a stone when emptied; device for scaring birds from gardens

6 ‘Ore’

7 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanako-san

8 Some gravure idol DVD stuff

9 A ghostly phenomenon in Japanese folklore, in which a mysterious noise that sounds like azuki beans being washed or ground is heard. And yes, Azuki Azusa’s name is written like azuki beans.

10 Denki = Energy, A character that appeared on Japanese posters regarding saving energy

11 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramune

12 Ritual suicide by disembowelment