Osananajimi ga Zettai ni Makenai Love Comedy Volume 2 Chapter 3 Part 1

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Part 1

–I hated everything. Everything aside from my older sister… I hated it all.

My parents were terrible. I can still see it in my dreams. Scenes of them arguing, then figures of them walking towards me their fists raised overhead, their wrath now directed towards me.

Mom and Dad both worked in the nighttime entertainment business, and even then they were on the fringes, not doing anything so great such as having their own establishment.

We were cheerfully taken to family restaurants in the months when their income was good. My parents and older sister were all smiles then, and I remembered those times as being extremely happy.

But the smiles decreased as the years went on. My parents lost the charm of youth while they gained in age, and their earnings fell proportionately.

At some point onward my father’s violence became an element of daily life. While my mother was fundamentally on the receiving end of said violence, her resentment gathered and was released in the form of more violence against my weaker older sister and I. Neither Mom nor Dad were on our side – they existed solely to torment us.

To me my only salvation was my sister, seven years older than I was.

“I’ll definitely keep you safe, Maria.”

I thought it was incredible. How could such a magnificent older sister be born to parents like these?

She was a kind older sister. She looked out for me even if it meant sacrificing time to play with her friends. She cooked, cleaned, and at times secretly worked part-time jobs to make money for dinner, no matter the fact that she was only a middle school student.

Having said that, she certainly never dipped into the realm of immorality.

She never sold her body nor made eyes at anyone – respectably, nobly, and conferring with those around her whenever she met with difficulty, she fought while walking openly along a path which the sun shone upon.

My older sister had apparently long ago devised a plan to escape our parents. She discussed with those close to her, and took care to make sure our parents wouldn’t pursue us and there would be no problems legally.

The plan was set into motion at the same time as her middle school graduation. When I was a third-year student in elementary school, I was taken by my older sister to the capital.

Even now I feel frustrated recalling it.

My older sister’s grades were excellent, good enough even to get her into the top college-preparatory school in our hometown. Despite that, she chose to work as a middle-school graduate. Her job after arriving at the capital was low-paying factory work.

My older sister worked fervently while raising me in place of our parents, but I was suffering.

I loved my older sister. She was my only ally.

Yet – I had only brought her pain.

I had destroyed my older sister’s future. If I wasn’t around, she could have certainly spread her wings more freely. If I wasn’t around, she could have studied more and saved up more money, and so have been able to re-enter high school or university.

I – hated it.

I hated the world beyond my older sister. I hated this world which made my older sister suffer. And after my worthless parents, I hated the baggage that could only drag down my older sister in its powerlessness – myself – most of all.

Then one day, I was scouted by a strange old lady.

“Your face gets a pass. More importantly, those eyes… eyes that look as if they hate this whole world – they’re irresistible, they are. Those are eyes that have the power to attract people. If you’re interested, come by my place.”

This happened when I was walking around the neighbourhood with my older sister.

I had thought my older sister was the most beautiful person on this planet. Yet that old woman’s interest had been directed at me. To me that was more than a little shocking.

In truth I had no interest. But–

“I’ve always thought you were the cutest thing on this planet, Maria. I’m glad that seems to have been acknowledged.”

My older sister’s unexpected joy, and–

“If I work, there’ll definitely be compensation. I might get clothes or something too depending on the nature of the job.”

The possibility of easing my older sister’s burden, even just a little.

For those two reasons, I decided to join the agency.

I attached one condition.

“I don’t want to give my older sister a harder time, so I won’t let her send me to or pick me up from anywhere, or watch over me on site. I won’t let her pay a cent. That means you’re paying for transport and meals. You can take that out of my compensation. Basically I won’t accept anything that would increase her burden.”

The old woman who scouted me – Nina Hardy – accepted that prerequisite, and said she had pushed for me to sort of be the younger sister to be paired with an older boy chaperone I would study under.

–That was Big Brother Sueharu. My fated person.

I hated everyone outside of my older sister. Detested them. So naturally I had no intentions of getting along with Big Brother Sueharu.

Big Brother Sueharu acting older and teaching me about different things pissed me off. I hated how he tried to behave like an older brother; his hypocrisy in trying to become my kin.

We couldn’t become close. Anyone outside of my older sister would just betray me, after all. For even Dad and Mom – had become my enemies. That was how I thought as I went to work at the agency in search of a little money.

But–

“You think I’ll lose?! I’ll show you, I’m going to find Mom no matter what!”¹

I loved – Big Brother Sueharu’s acting.

What pure talent, I thought to myself.

Big Brother Sueharu normally couldn’t be called outstanding, even if one were being polite. Amongst the many well-arranged faces of the entertainment world, his features were average, and it wasn’t like he had a quirk that attracted people. He wasn’t bright, nor was he quick with words. He couldn’t read a room either, occasionally being pathetically flattering, and often being fit to laugh at because he had gotten the wrong idea. In a certain sense, in a profession where unique talents were gathered, on the contrary it was almost rare not to be able to see a glimpse of talent in him.

But when the acting started – all of that changed completely.

When Big Brother Sueharu started acting, the adults who all while grumbling exasperatedly, spent half their time poking fun at and the other half tepidly watching over him, would suddenly fall into silence and change their expressions as they became enthralled. I loved seeing that, irresistibly so.

Big Brother Sueharu’s talent was made for public entertainment. His talent was refined solely to entertain other people.

Big Brother Sueharu was my polar opposite – a person whose every fibre only aimed to make others happy. As I thought that way, to me he began to sparkle.

“You know, you’ve been keeping detached for the loooongest time, but is it really fun for you to live this way?” I was suddenly asked by Big Brother Sueharu one day, while I sulked after being asked to do a retake upon being entrusted with a relatively major role for the first time.

“You sure you’re alright with this? You’re not going to regret doing a haphazard job?”

I was pissed off, to be honest. Majorly so. He had prodded me in a painful spot.

“I’m not the same as you are. I can’t do it like you do.”

“Nope, I’m telling you, you totally can.”

“…… How can you be so sure?”

“Well that’s because you understand everything, don’t you?”

My throat sealed itself unconsciously. …I hadn’t even begun to consider I’d be exposed.

“The situation, the atmosphere, the personalities and tempers of your fellow actors – you grasp all of that. Of course I’d be able to tell seeing how you behave. But the reason why it doesn’t go well for you is all because you’re holding back.”

From the beginning I had thought of all the adults around me as stupid. I sneered inwardly, wondering how there were so many idiots who couldn’t understand the things I could.

Yet as the result of being born into proper families, these idiots were able to smoothly progress all the way up to and graduate from university, then legitimately earn a living. My older sister was more exceptional than these idiots were, but not only was she unable to find a normal job as a middle-school graduate – her pay was meagre too. At the rate things were going, I’d end up on the same path as her too.

It was ridiculous. It was as if one’s birth decided everything that followed.

Talent, hard work – it was all meaningless if one was born into the wrong circumstances.

A bottomless pit surrounds every person. One can fall in at any time without any warning whatsoever.

Take accidents and disease, for example. Your life could end even through no fault of your own, and from another’s perspective it would just seem like “bad luck”. You would hardly find solace in simply calling it that if you met that kind of fate, but so long as it was someone else’s problem instead you could wall yourself off where you liked, resting easy whilst whispering to yourself that you were safe.

One could also fall into the pit right from the start by virtue of being born, as my older sister and I did.

From my perspective, Big Brother Sueharu lived a blessed existence. He had the talent, and support of his mother on every front.

Looking up towards that light from the bottom of the pit, I could only sneer with as much hostility as I could muster.

This guy might have the talent for public entertainment, but he’s an idiot. I know more things than he does, the proof of that being that he can’t even tell what I’m thinking. See, I knew he was a dumbass. He hasn’t even realised that I’m better than him. It’s all because of my bad upbringing that I’m not being appreciated. Poor old me.

In that fashion I mocked him, gave up on my own accord, and consoled myself.

“……!”

It was the embarrassment of having my foolish inner thoughts seen through by Big Brother Sueharu – whom I had ridiculed – that dyed my face red.

“Yeah, so what?!” I yelled. “Will anything good come out of me trying?! I’m not blessed like you are!”

Big Brother Sueharu didn’t retort, but simply watched me intently. His demeanour only fanned the flames burning my heart.

“I don’t have a bright future like you do! Anything I do is pointless, and that’s a fact that can’t be changed! Tell me, what am I supposed to do?!”

“…… I only heard from Grandma Nina, but you and your kind older sister are trying to start over, right? If so, you don’t think you should try to give her an easier time?”

“…… I do! I do think that way! But–”

“No buts!”

A loud bonk was produced.

A headbutt. Our foreheads had collided without restraint. My thought processes short-circuited at the unexpectedness of the circumstances, but as the pain from my forehead spread I belatedly grasped the situation.

“Owwww!”

“If you’re fine with how things are then I have nothing left to say! But you see, you do want to make things easier for your older sister, don’t you?! If so, then why won’t you do something?! Why are you holding back?!”

“Because no matter what I do, it’ll all be–”

“Pointless? Really? For sure? When you haven’t tried giving your best effort? You won’t regret not doing that?”

“Ooh–”

Being so questioned I was at a loss for words.

I understood. I was afraid of giving my all. Because if I failed after putting in my best effort, I wouldn’t be able to make excuses anymore. I’d become aware of my own lack of talent, leaving me no choice but to stare down despair going forward. If so it was easier for me to deceive myself saying I’d “actually got through somehow, just that I didn’t give my full effort”, than to just not try at all.

“You need to give this all you’ve got! You have the talent! Your head’s probably better than mine anyway, and your intuition’s good too! Well, I won’t lose though if it comes to acting! Just saying, but it’s quite a feat to be around my level, you know? This is the first time I’ve ever said that to someone my age.”

Big Brother Sueharu might not be smart, but neither did he live waywardly.

He lived life upright. He tackled everything ahead of him with all his might.

He had never lied to me either, so I could grasp that he truly meant what he was saying.

“R- Really……? I have as much talent… as you do……? I do……?”

I honestly couldn’t believe it.

I too had that kind of shining talent within me? I too could become someone who shone, and then save my older sister? Me, who could do nothing but accept my older sister’s help?

“I guarantee it, so grow up!”

Those words assailed me like a sudden gust of wind, blasting away something from my entire body.

…… Up till then I had only run away. Away from Mom and Dad, away from my surroundings.

I ran and ran, all while my older sister protected me. Even when rewarded I would still think I was inept. I had no self-confidence. I had no fight.

But this person said I could do it. Someone possessing so much talent said I could. He clamoured for me to stand on my own, to move.

If so, then maybe I could do it. Even someone like me.

Yes, up till then I had been a child who had simply run away from everything. My surroundings had permitted me to.

But being told to grow up by someone close to my age – I thought that I should.

If I didn’t stand up and face things with all my power right then, I’d live a life of perpetually running away. Such was my premonition.

“–Alright.”

I rose.

“I’ll…… try. I’ll try…… hard enough to catch up to you. Will you wait for me until then?”

“–Of course.”

For the longest time I chased Big Brother Sueharu.

I chased after that shining light I could see from the bottom of the well, winning victory after victory.

Yet before those who could be called my rivals had all but disappeared, Big Brother Sueharu was gone.

“But you’re amazing, Big Brother! You’re a hero! It isn’t possible that you’d become unable to act! After all, you’re going to wait for me until I come running up to you, right?!”

It was after I fired off those words that Big Brother Sueharu disappeared from the glitzy world.

So I thought I’d forget about him for a time.

I was already independent, so Big Brother Sueharu no longer mattered. I still had my rivals. I still had my enemies. I had to continue winning at all costs.

And while I thought that, my enemies dwindled, my rivals disappeared – and then I became lonely.

“Big Brother…… please…… save me from this loneliness……”

Big Brother Sueharu had saved my life. His demeanour hadn’t changed at all even after becoming a high school student, and I was overjoyed to be received by his smiling face, despite me having said such cruel things back then and severing our ties. I cried that day while reminiscing before bed, but I had truly, truly been happy.

At the same time, however, I had also felt fear.

Big Brother Sueharu had fallen into the bottomless pit. What if he had lost his sheen as a result of that……? No, I didn’t want to lose hope……

That video had shown me a glimpse, but at the same time it could have been called his old trademark routine. At present, I couldn’t tell how well he could act.

“Please, make me believe…… Big Brother Sueharu……”

Six years had passed, and while I thought I had worked hard and pulled myself out of the pit, there was still more darkness to be found outside of it too.

A gaudy stage one could stand on, but it was lonely being up there alone.

I was still in the middle of the dark.

*

¹Maru saying a line from the Taiga drama that made him blow up, where the objective of the protagonist is to find his mother.