Lonely Loser (LN) Volume 1 Chapter 3

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Quick notice: Yes, the TL isn’t dead. The original raws however are as of right now. The author has stated that, although he wants to release volume 3 of Lonely Loser, there are certain things hindering him (he didn’t go into detail as to what that is). In short, there might never be a 3rd volume. This is the reason why we pushed this project far down the priority line.

Chapter 3

It was sunny on the day of the excursion, unfortunately. I arrived early since I travelled by public transport, so there was still time before the bus was due to leave.

Naturally, I sat alone in the back seat. Or rather, nobody had ever been willing to sit next to me all this time. Although it had hurt my feelings when I was young, I was used to it by now. If I considered the risk of arriving late and awkwardly having to sit next to someone, this was much more preferable. Sometimes a loner had to be positive to get through it.

By the way, self-catering school trips were events that I could not understand. If I looked at it carefully, the first thing was that the schedule itself was crude. It would appear that we had free time after cooking, yet the text was deceptive. Even if it says freedom, there were only two types of freedom for a loner so I had to be on my guard. If it was participation free, then I would be happy because I would not even need to go to begin with. However, if it was the free activity type then it would be torturous since I was restricted from leaving. What was I supposed to do then?

To the person over there who just said, “Let’s fake being sick to skip out~”, you are my friend. Let’s get along with each other from now on.

Well, even if I obviously wanted to skip… In my case, it was not that simple. My guardian, Aunt Arika, was determinedly unforgiving and would definitely see through such a simple lie. No, on the contrary, she checked every document that I brought home from school so she knew all the event dates.

“Jun-kun. Do you remember how to light a fire…”

“Ah, yeah.”

Sigh… My aunt had wanted to make me a somewhat normal person so since our elementary school days, she had taken my sister and I to all these various places, calling it practice. Somehow, how should I phrase this, because of that person being so completely thorough… everything about camping had been drilled into me to the maniac level. Just like an otaku. The fact that I was a disappointing guy was probably due to the influence of an even more unfortunate family. It must be. I mean, anyone could light a fire…

I looked aimlessly out of the bus window. Eventually, everyone started gathering and I could feel the lively atmosphere. It seemed like the guys had brought baseball gloves and soccer balls, showing them off to each other outside the bus. So they were playing with those in their free time.

Fuwaa… I let out a huge yawn. Spring was currently turning into summer. I felt sleepy, seriously. Having such an attitude in a place like this, there were times when people would criticise and say, “He’s a cynical one.” Despite that, I still gave it my best to be as inconspicuous as the air itself. At least that way, everyone could have fun without me disturbing them.

“Ichijou-kun… Is it alright to sit next to you?”

Startled from being called so suddenly, I looked behind me. Standing in front of the seat was a youth with a freckled childish face. I remembered him, he was… Komatsu-kun. Right! Feeling uplifted at not forgetting his name, I pointed at the seat next to me.

“Here, take a seat.”

“E-excuse me…”

Yet even if the conversation was to start in such a lively manner, we were both still just loners to begin with. Although we were fellow loners, it did not mean we were friends… We stayed silent even after the rest of our classmates boarded the bus, continuing after we departed.

The excited chatter inside the bus was akin to the usual hubbub of lunchtime being condensed into a smaller space. With the noise volume growing louder, our silence felt more and more uncomfortable.

Still, if it was going to be like this, then I should just study as usual… I was just about to take out my vocabulary flashcards from my bag.

“Ichijou-kun… is always studying, right?”

“Eh, yeah…”

What, he was actually talking today? I felt a little confused. Having initiated the conversation, Komatsu-kun seemed perplexed. It was as though he wanted to say something, yet was nervous and his following words came out rather quietly. Haha… he really did not have to push himself so much. Well, even with my strange behaviour, I was not as feeble as this guy. Continuing a conversation was difficult but not to this extent.

“As a loner, time is wasted and rots way. So I’m just using it effectively.”

“Eh…?”

“In this way, being a loner becomes your strength. Don’t you think so?”

Komatsu lowered his head almost apologetically. I guess there were various types of loners and interestingly, every person had their own circumstances. In my case, it had been caused by things like pessimistic thoughts and a lack of motivation. For him, was it simply just being unconfident? Not that I knew about it.

“I’m always sleeping… No, I pretend to sleep. I don’t really know what else to do.”

“Then studying is also suitable for Komatsu-kun. I seriously recommend it. You’ll stop worrying about minor details and feel at ease.”

“Studying, I have no talent…”

“It won’t cost anything even if you’re bad at it. Besides, you won’t know until you try.”

“Haha… That, that’s true. Next time we have a lunch break, I can give it a go… right?”

We continued talking like this intermittently. I would concentrate on my flashcards during the times it fell silent, however, Komatsu-kun concluded the conversation with these following words.

“H-hey? Um… Together, let’s do our best for this excursion.”

“Oi oi, is this something you need to work hard for?”

“What are you talking about? We have to get through the group activities… no?”

“If anything happens, just hide behind me. So many things have happened lately, it somehow feels like my nerves are being trained. What’s with it all? Hahaha…”

In the midst of everyone being so energetic, just how negative were we? The fact that this event was scheduled right after class changes was so that students would get to know each other. The teachers probably had not even dreamt about there being such pessimistic students.

…And so, this uncomfortable bus journey led us into a mountainous region.

The morning was bright without any clouds blocking the sunlight. In the end, we had travelled 90 minutes by bus, so my body was aching. The sun’s rays were reflected not only from the sky, but also from the nearby river and so it was really dazzling.

“Alright… You guys! You’re going to be cooking for yourselves starting now!”

It was still early. My homeroom teacher, Shiraishi, announced this loudly with her self-amplifying voice which disrupted the atmosphere. I really could not understand this person. Her strict impression preceded her and apparently, no one had spoken unreservedly to her about it. I wonder what her personal interview had been like.

However, this was the lively mood characteristic of school events after all. Even for this female teacher who was like a U.S Marine Corps instructor, it did not seem possible for her to calm down the students today. Even while she spoke, there were sounds of chatter. When she finished talking and the groups scattered, everyone had a smile on their faces whether big or small.

In the fresh air under the blue sky, I felt like hopping along lightly. The world was in the era of great picnics! Bang! This sort of feeling. …Well, that, it was certainly this kind of situation… No, it was because of it… probably.

I… For a while now, I had been building the fire and poking it with a pair of tongs inside a furnace assembled from stone blocks. Absentminded, my face had adopted a vacant expression. Silently and quietly, I just concentrated on the fire in front of me.

In times like this, I was really grateful at having been assigned a simple task because now I had a reason to blank out my mind. The atmosphere was too delicate so I needed to feign ignorance. Well, even if I said that, I was probably the only one who thought it was delicate… Komatsu had been standing behind me with a forced, wry smile. Help me.

“Huh~, that’s surprising. Ichijou-kun, you’re good at outdoor things like this~!”

See… the main reason for this mysterious air of tension just spoke. While I had been tending the fire, Tachibana came over and crouched down. She immediately began the whole meddling with the bookworm thing. She was a little blunt.

Today, everyone was in a jersey as designated by school. In other words, we all looked the same and yet this bright blonde was still unmissable. Haha, but I had expected her to come mess with me. Naturally, it was likely for us to speak since we were in the same group today, rather, it would be as usual. However, just for today… the situation was a little different.

“…Hmm…”

This low voice came from another member of our group, crouching on the other side of the furnace. She was always hanging around Tachibana in the classroom… That one, the girl called Hyoudou Yayoi. That’s right, I had looked up the roster and memorised the entire group’s names before we came here. So that I can survive today. I am continuing to reflect on that event with Nakamura.

Hyoudou had a stylishly permed short bob and eyes that gave off a characteristically cold gaze. Her grey hair colour paired well with Tachibana’s blonde locks and they looked good together. Tachibana was already quite slender, however this girl seemed to be even thinner. Her petite build suited her small body and her icy expression was magnetising.

“What do you think Yayoi, we can use the fire soon right?”

“Mnn… It’s certainly a little surprising. This person doesn’t look like the camping type at all.”

Contrary to the way she spoke, her eyes were so scary that I could not look straight in front of me. That’s right, Tachibana was the one muddying her hands today. As long as I remained silent, she would continue to call on her friends.

“Gyaru A called for a friend!”

“Gyaru B appears.”

This sort of feeling.

Ah, by the way, the only skill that a loner had was “observing the situation” so there was no way to deal with them. Seriously, what should I do? Oh right, how about this…

“Loner A called for a friend!”

“Those don’t exist to begin with!”

Oi this was a bug, a bug. The A in Loner A stood for Alone, so annoying. I was even performing a one man comedic dialogue in my mind and my mentality was about to collapse. As such, it was natural that my state of mind wanted to concentrate on the fire in front of me. However, this young lady named Houdou was adamant in mercilessly bothering me.

“Hm…”

She hummed while staring with her cold eyes. Then she said,

“Ichijou, what do you do in your free time? You’re a bookworm but do you hide away in mountains or something?

……………… Eh, what’s with that absent-minded comment?! Sarcasm? Joking? I seriously did not understand! I really could not figure out how to answer properly to that so I started to panic a little.

“Eh, ah…”

Watching me in this situation, Tachibana who had been crouching next to me poked my elbow lightly. But this blonde woman’s eyes were not laughing at all, despite having a smile on her face. It was as if she was saying, “Hey, hurry up and say something to Yayoi, virgin. If it goes on like this, it’ll be weird.” …Lately, I had been able to understand what Tachibana meant even without words, just what was this? Seriously.

“Um, I study a lot about the mountains on my days off… I guess?”

“Hu~h, a wild bookworm? How funny. Do you come to this mountain too?”

Eh, she was actually joking. Neither her face nor her voice showed any sort of laughter though. Tachibana elbowed me again signalling, “So you can talk.” Somehow it seemed like I passed just now. What was the criteria? Although, wasn’t your friend too serious to be a loner’s opponent? Making an opportunity to talk in this way was too peculiar…

If Tachibana was an uplifting gyaru, then this standoffish woman was a downer type. Either way, it did not change the fact that it was difficult to deal with them so just let me focus on the fire, thanks.

“Ahaha, seriously strange! This bookworm being in a mountain like this.”

“Haha, no way.”

The two of them were lightening the mood by themselves.

‘Hm… modern kids. You guys should learn how to make a fire as normal people. Either way, you’d be having bbqs and whatnot when summer comes, right? I definitely won’t be there at that time.”

“What’s with that… You want to be invited that badly? What should we do, Karen?”

“I want to be invited.”

No, I should not have replied to that immediately. Besides, it was embarrassing to make it look like I wanted to be invited! However, the conversation headed in an unexpected direction… like it was going up in flames.

“Wha~t,” said Tachibana in a purposely loud voice. “Ichijou-kun, I thought you were a gloomy person ♪”

“Right. I thought you were always serious, and normally didn’t talk.”

“Yeah yeah! Ehehe… Have my eyes gone crazy?”

Here, Houdou looked between Tachibana and I. As if she was interested in something, she went “Hm~m?” with a suspicious smirk.

“Karen and Ichijou, you seem pretty close. Did something happen when you went shopping? Even though Ichijou is a loner, he doesn’t seem to be nervous at all.”

Chills ran down my spine as my eyes met Tachibana’s. Then stupidly, I became worked up and raised my voice.

“N-no way! We bought the ingredients… then went our own ways immediately.”

“Your face, it’s bright red…”

“St… stop it Yayoi, you’re troubling Ichijou-kun…”

“The fact that you took off your glasses today, is that a coincidence? That’s pretty cool.”

“Oi. If you say anything else, I’ll put out the fire…”

“Yeah yeah, I get it. But on a serious note, why are you always alone? Even during lunch break, I’ve never seen you talking to anyone.”

“…No reason. I just do what I want.”

I just replied to them in an appropriate manner. Obviously, I could not be more uncomfortable. I felt out-of-place, a clear category error. Yet this me still sought to answer relentlessly. So, carelessness would lead to the situation with Tachibana being found out and well, there were various issues.

“I still can’t accept it after all. I’m going to do something about it even if it irritates you. About how you’re treated in class.”

Hm… What are you going to do after dragging me in amongst the class? Besides, I could not envision a future where I would be getting along with your friend circle. No matter how much effort Tachibana put into it, a loner would still be a loner inside the group. These just did not fit together. Even I thought that it was bad for her to worry about me and that having a girl being this concerned for me was embarrassing. Ever since I met this girl, my male instincts have been confused often.

At this moment, gyaru C approached us and to my relief, she was more normal than B.

“Karen, how is it going? Cooking preparations are done, just waiting on the furnace now.”

“Ah, look Momoko! It looks really good.”

Tying her apron as she came over, this was Tenjuin Momoko. She was the class representative with long raven coloured hair and red rimmed glasses. Tallest of the three, her chest and hips were quite curvy… like that of a mature adult’s body. With her good grades and ace position of the archery club, she had the status of a so-called superhuman.

From what I saw, I had the impression that Tachibana was closest with Hyoudou-san and this Tenjuin-san was second. It felt like there was a recurring pattern where this honour student would interrupt the conversation between the other two.

“Ichijou-kun. The fire, is it ready to be used?”

“Ah, yes… Almost, maybe…”

“That’s good.”

I replied in my usual half-hearted manner to the general comment. That’s right, this kind of conversation without filler words was enough to survive through today. You are the only one with a conscience in this group of gyarus. I could see this respectable person calming dealing with the other two during times like lunch break. I felt rude having given her the gyaru C title…

“By the way, we seem pretty fast at making a furnace.”

“Eh…?”

Looking behind us, it seemed like the other groups were having difficulties. Their fires suddenly extinguished or they were not burning the newspaper properly with bits of it flying everywhere, it was pandemonium. I had been so focused up until now that I had not noticed.

Shiraishi-sensei was walking around the area, although helping students did not seem to be part of her teaching policy. More like, since we were classmates, we should work together and figure it out.

“What’s this bookworm, seems like you’re a capable kid if you try ♪”

Tachibana-san was desperate to bring about the age of bookworms. So brazen. But seriously stop it already, my face was starting to feel hot.

However, things like how to arrange firewood or roll up newspapers, there were many areas that I also did not understand unless I tried it… I simply happened to go camping with my aunt every year and was able to be accustomed to it, but it seemed like there were not many guys like that.

Well, it looked like our group would be able to easily finish making lunch. Aside from Tachibana being up to no good, I was just starting to get used to these girls as a loner. Moreover, groups were dissolved during free time so it should all go unexpectedly smoothly.

…At this point, I made the mistake of relaxing. I had forgotten. Still, even in my dreams I would never have imagined that muddy hands would summon an arch demon. I was careless and a voice came from behind.

“Hu~h… Karen’s group, their fire is really burning.”

…I recognise this super cool tone. It was a guy who hung around these three girls during lunch break, what’s-his-name from the soccer club. The girls turned their attention to him, although I did not want to turn around. I had not wanted to meet his gaze. So I continued to fiddle with the fire tongs even though it was ready. Cursed by stranger anxiety, there were days when I did not say even a single word in class. I was just an awkward classmate…

“…So, you ended up grouping with these plain-looking guys.”

He meant, “You didn’t group with us but chose this bunch of antisocial trash,” just now, right? Exactly what kind of trick did Tachibana use? Ordinarily, they would have joined this guy so was there some kind of trouble?

“Well, aren’t we all plain-looking too…?”

Uh oh… With a smile, Tachibana responded to that guy in a biting tone. And then for only a moment, a subtle tension flowed from them.

“Hmm? Everyone is surprised, Karen and them of all people.”

“What do you mean of all people?! Who we group with, isn’t it our business…?”

“Well, I’m fine with it. Ichijou-kun… was it?”

Oi oi, why me of all people… A single footstep sounded behind me.

“…The person who’s always studying.”

Then came the public backbiting of the social outcast. I was well aware of how I appeared in class. Even Tachibana would have heard Nakamura saying this and that. If she had heard it, then it was impossible for the others to not hear. Until today, I never worried about my social standing. And even now it was because I was nervous about this woman’s reaction.

“Hmm. I just grouped up with whoever I liked. Plus you’re bad at studying, so Ichijou-kun taught me?”

Sharp tongued, this blonde woman moved back next to me. While pouting lightly. Did you know? It’s getting complicated…? For someone who was accustomed to being inconspicuous, I did not want this kind of thing to follow around.

Although they usually got along well, and Tachibana was not being as blatantly sharp as Nakamura ─ I was worried only during that moment ─ for someone like me to break the mood between them, it was no joke and I was sorry I guess?

I could not bear such a responsibility. I did not want to bother Tachibana anymore than this. And I did not want to walk in the same rut as Nakamura. Tsk, this was somehow troublesome. Having to do this myself… However, I had to stop complaining.

Standing up abruptly, I looked over my shoulder. I clenched my gloved hand tightly and forcefully squeezed out a voice as though it was stuck in my throat. Yet thinking back on this later… This seriously trivial phrase was a trigger.

“What…? Even plain-looking people can start a fire.”

The boy with the good-looking face was somehow half surprised, a sense of guilt washing over his expression. It seemed like he apparently did not think I could speak even a word.

“O-oh, is that so. My bad, kinda…”

“We’re done… Shall we help you now?”

Ahh speaking of which, of course I brought along Komatsu who was nearby. It felt pitiful to leave him alone in the midst of the girls… Although, this decision by myself to be a gofer was not bad. After all, did this not mean we could stay away from those three gyarus for a short while? Adding kindling to the fire in my own group, then touring other groups… Well, even though this was a fun school event, even I wanted to laugh at myself for only tending fires. In an abundance of nature under the sun, a bookworm was adding firewood silently.

Still, my heart calmed while looking at the fire in the furnace as opposed to seeing human faces. …Wait, this was something an arsonist would state. That said, the one who put me in this mental state was unusually spirited today so it could not be helped.

Tachibana Karen and her pleasant friends. As long as I was there, the only scene I could envision was myself being teased by Tachibana in front of the other girls and Komatsu-kun, so just imagining made me annoyed. Don’t think about her… I had been telling myself that a lot recently.

I was probably reaching my limit soon. Thinking this to myself, I had wanted to escape before lunchtime even if it was only for a while. But what was with this? In the end, this group turned out to be similar…

“Eh! Amazing Ichijou-kun! It’s really burning!!”

“Uh… Don’t get too excited, it’s dangerous.”

“Woah! Woah! I’m impressed! Amazing!”

The person making a fuss while squatting next to me was a buddy of the good-looking guy who came to our group. His face had a monkey-like charm and he was highly energetic. Contrary to how his eyes shone like an elementary school student when he stared at the fire, his hair was flashy and unlike a student’s. To be specific, his brown-dyed hair was waxed to full volume. You know, the hairstyle on the kind of person who would be really good at card games. Someone who probably held three godly cards.

To my regret, however, I could not remember his name. He was off my radar since he was in another group. So let’s just call him the noisy one. And the good-looking guy who came to our group earlier, he’s the cool type.

Unlike the noisy one, he was leaning against a nearby tree with his arms folded. He was a guy with narrow eyes. Similarly, his ruffled black hair was also waxed. He looked cool just standing there, the world was so unfair. His hairstyle looked more natural than the noisy one’s too, it really did look begrudgingly good.

“Hmm…”

With that, he showed a displeased expression. As if realising something, his expression loosened while looking at me.

“W-what is it…?”

“Nothing, just that you’re interesting even though you only study everyday.”

“Not really… Anyone can do this much…”

This plain-looking bookworm just happened to have a fire attribute was all. And well, although I was more comfortable because he was not a woman, this cool guy’s eccentric choice of a conversation topic seemed to be a little more complicated.

“No, not that. I wonder why Karen has taken a liking to you.”

“…What are you talking about suddenly…?”

“Before the teams were decided, I was told she had a guy she wanted to group with. Maybe it was Ichijou-kun.”

“No way. Didn’t she come to us because no one joined them?”

Even I found it difficult to say this just now. It was a terrible deception. Yet as always, part of my heart said, “That’s not it,” and the other part said, “Let’s face reality.” It had been like this during recent study sessions. While thinking they would end soon, I also felt like we would always be together like this. In any case, it was like I was desperately running away from something since our date the other day.

But then, the wind blew. Komatsu-kun, who was supposed to have turned into air behind me… destroyed me with one subdued phrase.

“Speaking of which, Ichijou-kun, you seemed to be on friendly terms with Tachibana earlier…”

Ugh… Did we go that far today? Huh. When that woman was poking fun at me, did this young loner see it all as he stood behind…?

“…Not really, it was nothing like that.”

“But Tachibana-san, she seemed to be having a lot of fun.”

“Komatsu-kun should know, since you’re a fellow loner.”

The cool guy’s smile widened even more. He appeared happy.

“Heh… I’ve ended up hearing something good. Karen and Ichijou-kun, hm?”

“What, don’t laugh so weirdly… There’s really nothing.”

“Then I’ll ask the other way around. Are you interested in Karen, Ichijou-kun?”

“It’s not a matter of interest! As you said, I do nothing but study. There’s almost no contact between us, so…”

“But to take fancy herself, how rare.”

It was like he did not hear me at all. Still, rare? Rumour had it that she devoured any guy she took an interest in. Just by how he called Tachibana by her first name showed they were on good terms. He would probably know better than the circulating rumours…

I just took it as I usually did. Without looking into it deeply. If I asked anymore about this, it would look like I was actually interested in that blonde woman. It was not only that I did not want others to think this way. I did not want to acknowledge it myself.

“Well, whatever. Thanks for the furnace.”

“Y-yeah…”

After that, the cool guy continued to happily “Hmm” along with a suppressed smile. Incidentally, I was worried that the noisy one would end up being an arson since he did not say anything else except “Awesome!” while staring at the fire.

When I finished up and returned to my original group, Tenjuin-san’s humbly made paella was waiting. Colourfully decorated with paprika and zucchini, it was moderately salty and very delicious. A super class representative who was skillful in anything, talented even in an apron. But that was not all. As soon as Komatsu-kun and I returned, she handed up paper plates and said,

“Both of you, good work.”

“T-thank you…”

With a slight smile, she made a comment that even introverts could easily reply to. Oi oi, how was she this perfect? Being able to end the conversation with a casual reply like this, I could rest easy. It was a little known to the public that consideration like a glass of water was more pleasant to loners than an ocean of kindness.

Anyway, after I received it, I sat at the edge of the rug and ate. With the three girls talking lightheartedly behind me, I observed the other groups in the class. I felt a little tired. Or more like the heaviness of the school events weighing down on my body…

I had kept a wider distance with Komatsu-kun because just talking to him seemed tiring right now. Even conversing with someone I know felt like I was bullying my brain, but today alone I had met too many people for the first time. In times like this, the anxiety weighing on my back was the most painful thing of being a pessimistic person. Well, I should just think about how class representative’s paella was worth it.

…I continued to stare in front of me. Under the blue sky, the air was fresh. There was a smell of wet soil. The sounds of my classmates’ laughter and excitement flew past my ears. It was a good atmosphere. I didn’t hate it that much. As long as I was not in it.

Hah… What should I do after lunch? We might be a group but it was only for making lunch together and when that was finished, it would be free time. In all honesty, I did not have any plans… Maybe I will find a bench and study alone? It was fortunate that I brought along my vocabulary book.

More than anything, I just wanted to return to my usual lifestyle for a little bit although… There was one woman who did not think about the delicate subtleties of a loner. With neither kindness nor care, it was as if she was a natural disaster.

Suddenly, there were soft hands rubbing my shoulders and I turned around in surprise.

“Ehehe, thank you for your various efforts earlier. ♪ Are you a little… tired?”

Yeah, because your very existence is the main cause of my fatigue! Tachibana Karen smiled widely while massaging my shoulders. It was good that she was happy, however, my shoulders were a place that was usually untouched so I was really startled… Also, her long blonde hair was brushing against the nape of my neck so I really wanted her to give me a break, but… I just turned around.

“What are you doing? My heart almost stopped.”

“Those guys, they’re not that bad right?”

“Not really, just normal…”

However, shouldn’t things like this be for when we were alone? Or was this her way of minding the situation by keeping her voice to a whisper? Yet, it was just confirmed that we had clearly been seen. Look, Komatsu-kun was glancing over again. I could more or less feel the gaze of the two girls behind us on my back, so I might as well have my hands and feet bound. School excursion, hurry up and end.

Then, Tachibana lifted her hands off my shoulders and crouched down next to me. Apparently she was in a good mood, smiling with her teeth showing.

“You’re good at taking care of others after all. Like going to help out in that situation.”

“It’s nothing like that. There was just nothing to do after making our fire.”

“If bookworm becomes friendly with Suguru and them, you can interact naturally with me too, right? Even in the classroom.”

According to Tachibana, the cool type from earlier was Ogino Suguru, and the noisy one was called Iidzuka Shouta. They were the only members of the soccer club from our class.

…Somehow, today was full of new names. I was confident that I would forget all of them by tomorrow, really.

“But listen… If that happened, wouldn’t that show up the guys who spoke badly about you?”

“You’re still bothered about that…? Forget about it already.”

Tachibana curled her hand into a fist and pressed it against my upper arm. It was just as if she was saying, “No way,” while grinning.

Despite that, I did not think Nakamura and his gang were particularly bad. They were neither worse nor better than the others. It was the same issue that I was the problem. It was the truth that I just studied without gauging the situation, so it was not surprising that some people found it uncomfortable. It was definitely not the first time to have light conflicts like that in our class.

Yet for some reason, this woman strangely approached me. So, how did this happen? I kept feeling uneasy about that, although I still had not been able to find an answer. Was it simply because I helped her with studies? Really just that? But apart from that, what else had I done…? Depending on the situation, there was enough reasoning for Tachibana and the others to hate me.

Sigh… Somehow when this woman was around, I was always busily being embarrassed, emo, and reading deeply into things. And, while we idled away our time like this…

“Yo, intimate couple.”

Ambling over here was the soccer club combo from earlier. Ogino… that cool guy tossed a soccer ball over, so I half panicked and caught it.

“…Nice catch.”

“Oii Ichijou-kun, let’s play soccer! Komatsu-kun too!”

The noisy Iidzuka had innocent eyes. Rather than a soccer player, he looked more like a baseball type. Even his speech style was more like an invitation to baseball. However, Komatsu-kun and I looked at each other’s faces in bewilderment. Why us? As though he guessed what we were thinking, Ogino shrugged.

“The others are playing baseball, and it’ll work fine here if we have two more people. As thanks… for earlier?”

“Thanking by playing soccer together? Haha, what…”

Beside me, Tachibana lightly hit my back and gave a toothy grin as though saying, “You should go!” Well… it would be easier than talking to a girl like this… It was not like I disliked it enough to refuse. I had nothing to do anyway.

In this park, there was a huge gravel field and looking around, there were people playing catch, kicking the ball… various games. Although schools also had a sports ground so they were not really doing anything different from the usual. What was truly exceptional was probably that us loners had decided to play sports normally in our free time.

A two-on-two game. Of course, the other two were both from the soccer club, so we mixed up the teams. Ogino and I, against Komatsu-kun and Iidzuka. Well even though it was called soccer, it was just putting a cone in a small space and treating it as a goal.

Before we started the game, Ogino spoke while walking next to me.

“Ichijou-kun, you have to show something good to Karen.”

My face made a “Huh?” expression. It was just soccer… Looking closely, Tachibana and the other two were standing at the edge of the field. I could see that blonde woman’s satisfied smile from all the way over here.

“…Don’t get any weird ideas. Just start already.”

“Why are you irritated, weren’t you two getting along well just then? Next time, tell me what kind of interactions you’ve had, yeah?”

“Oi, just play soccer. If you say anything else, I’ll seriously go back.”

“Yeah, yeah, lol.”

I ran mindlessly. With the intention of exercising to assist digestion, I tried to forget all my worries and ran for several tens of minutes. Despite this, both Komatsu-kun and I sucked. I could not carry the ball forward by myself so any time that I had the ball, I could only pass it with one touch. If I received the ball in a good position then I could shoot, not that it would go in. This was bound to happen though…

“Bookworm! Ichijou-kun! Keep at it!!”

…Tsk! So noisy, don’t call my name. Cheer for the other guys…!

Although, when I heard Tachibana’s voice… Even though I was grumbling internally, I felt like my body had become lighter. I became unusually focused. Uncharacteristically fired up.

Something like this did not matter. My regular calm self advised me, yet these thin and weak legs continued running on the gravel. I wanted to let myself shout. For that reason, there was only one goal. A part of myself wanted to raise my voice so unacceptably. …So when Komatsu-kun passed to Iidzuka, I did not miss the moment even with these unfamiliar contact lenses.

“Ugh… Ha…”

His timid pass must have been made with a weak kick, since the ball rolled slowly. On the spur of the moment, I ran into the ball’s course and intercepted it. Now there was a clear path to the goal! If I ran, just a little more… no.

Iidzuka ran up from behind with a surprised expression, closing the distance between us until our bodies were almost touching. He lightly pressed his arm against my side, veering me off my running path to the side.

I thought I heard the soccer club member joking let out a frantic “Ugh…” sound.

“Kya, kya!” Tachibana shrieked loudly.

I… Am I going to have it stolen? Stopping the ball with my foot, I faced Iidzuka in a way such that the shooting course was properly blocked. Being so unskilled, I would not be able to dribble and regain the ball. Plus the angle was too narrow to make a shot. I prioritised making a pass over the desire to shoot a goal, so when Ogino came running to score a goal, I shouted,

“Ogino-kun!!”

Cheers sounded to praise him. Wait, cheers? Apart from Tachibana, there were many other girls. No, there were male voices mixed in too. By the time I realised it, there was a small gathering around Tachibana. I saw some of the faces that I could recognise, so were they all class members? Seeing this, my body immediately felt impatient.

In front of these people, I was playing like this? In such a conspicuous way?

Standing at the edge of the group was Nakamura. When I met his eyes, he turned away and looked down like he was vomiting. Crap… As I stood there stunned, Ogino hit my shoulder lightly.

“Good job, I underestimated you. That was a seriously good assist.”

“Not really… In the end, it was your goal.”

“Hmm. But, it seems like Karen is cheering Ichijou-kun on though?”

At the centre of the gathering, she… seemed exhilarated. Even without raising her voice, I could understand her clearly. Something like, “Ehehe. Bookworm, you were a little cool…:”

“Your face, it’s super red.”

“Shut up…! Hurry up and continue, it’s not over yet…”

What did I do during physical education classes? I was practically unmotivated. Especially in soccer, running just a little made my feet feel heavy. Then I should have been the same right now. Yet… Each time a play turn ended, I thought about Tachibana. I was, what do you call it, annoyed. That I could not score a goal. It was the only thing I wanted to do.

Impatient and overwhelmed with regret, my body felt light. I needed to score, needed to play well. My heart pounded.

Then Iiduka’s kick sent the ball rolling towards the goal. Before I could think, I was running like a switch had been flipped. Crap, make it! Make it in time!

When I realised I would be too late, I stuck out my foot… and threw my body onto the gravel dramatically. I tried to block the ball by sliding, however, the passed my foot by a few centimetres and rolled between the cones.

Sigh… Why was I trying so hard?. So ridiculous…

As I lay on the dirty sand, I simply stared up at the deep blue sky.